#see other places and eventually come back home. 15 is so young to make long lasting decisions girlie
Note
“hiiii i loved your last piece and damn your writting is SO GOOD <3 so i ask you pretty please if you could right about an aged up!lo'ak w aged up!reader where they're in a romantic relationship and finally mate after a couple of months of waiting. THANKS IN ADVANCE LUV YA”
hiiii! so, as you asked me to, this is me fowarding the request! 🫶🏻 i imagine this being with a female reader, something like childhood friends to lovers – the girl would be a na’vi and they grew up together or smt. i also see the reader being a little scared of mating with lo’ak – thinking things like i love this man but he’s so reckless i dont wanna loose him – and shit. i trust you a 100% with this because I KNOW you're gonna make me giggle scream in my pillows and punch the air even if i read your grocery store list.
lmk if you need anything more! lots of love & kisses. 💘💘💕💞💘💖💗💓💗
Chosen | Lo'ak x fem!Omaticaya!reader (Smut)
A.N: Hello there! Sorry this took me so long, but I'm in the middle of exam season and also my birthday was last week and yea lots of stuffs going on. I hope my interpretation of your request will be everything you dreamed of, tbh I went a lil extra, but this story has literally been plaguing me for days and I loved writing it so much!
Summary: fem!Omaticaya!reader x Lo'ak, both reader and Lo'ak are 18/19 in this, usually I write 20+ characters but I was trying to keep the story as close as possible to Na'vi 'marriage traditions, according to them 15 is the age of maturity and I believe parents arrange marriages around that time, but if anyone is uncomfortable with this then please feel free to imagine the characters are older.
T.W.: NSFW, this is pr0n with feelings, but it is detailed. As always, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS WORK OR ANY OF MY ACCOUNTS, thank you. Awkward first-time shenanigans, angst, fluff, and yeah if I missed anything please let me know.
T.W. 2: This turned into a whole ass fic so forewarning for mentions of blood, neglectful parenting, and a near-death experience for a main character.
Word count: 6.355
Mini dictionary for this fic:
Olo'eyktan = clan leader
Kaltxì! = hello
Oeru syaw... = My name is...
Ngaru tut? = And you are?
Sempul= father
Sa'nok= mother
Oe tìwayn...= I love...
Tsahik= spiritual leader
Yawne = beloved
Oeya- = My-
Oel ngati kameie = I see you
Nga yawne lu oer = I love you (You are beloved to me)
Kehe= no
If you have any Lo'ak requests, please send them my way!
Lo'ak had never been chosen for anything in his life.
For as long as he'd remembered, his parents had either been taking every spare moment they had to teach Neteyam the right path in life, so that he would one day be an Olo'eyktan fit enough to succeed his father or alternatively, dote on his sisters. It was at an embarrassingly young age when he discovered that he could have wandered off from the safety of his family and nobody would have taken much notice until the eclipse would come, and it was time to turn in.
Even on those occasions, Lo'ak would try to prove his worth by showing his father a creature he had caught or a place he had 'discovered', but his parents didn't really do much other than reprimand him for his reckless behavior.
"You know you were supposed to help me look after your baby sister today, why is it so hard for you to understand basic instructions?" His father would huff, dragging him back home while carrying Tuk on his shoulders. Lo'ak looked at her. She was a tiny infant, where could she have possibly gone by herself? And why did he have to stick around to look after her, while Neteyam and Kiri were out hunting with their mother?
Eventually, his disappearances stopped raising alarms, as his family had accepted Lo'ak would always find his way back or his brother would be the one to recuperate him. On these occasions, Lo'ak had tried to fit in with the rest of the clan but had quickly discovered his presence wasn't all that welcome among his peers. While they felt the need to respect him because he was the Olo'eyktan's son and Neteyam's brother, his quirks, specifically his hands and his speech pattern were too... different. Too human. A lot of Omaticayans his age had been orphaned as a consequence of the war against the sky people, and Lo'ak was just another reminder of what their presence had left behind. Not to mention he was also friends with Spider, an actual sky person, even though he was born on Pandora and knew nothing of Earth.
On a day like any other, Lo'ak and Spider were playing hide and seek just the two of them, a game Jake had taught them and was too 'human' sounding for the rest of their peers to want to join in, and Lo'ak had found the perfect hiding spot on a tree Spider was never going to be able to climb when a voice startled him so much, he almost fell out of the branch he'd been resting on.
"Kaltxì!" The little Na'vi girl his age greeted him enthusiastically while hanging upside down from the tree branch directly above him. Lo'ak stared at her and felt like prey in the split second it was about to be hit by an arrow. He had never seen such beautiful eyes. And he had never talked to a girl before, other than his sisters. "Oeru syaw y/n." She continued. "Ngaru tut?"
"L-Lo'ak." He managed to say, instinctively hiding his hands behind his back. She looked at him curiously, almost as if to ponder his silence. Then y/n seemed to have a sudden realization. "Now I know!" She exclaimed again loudly, along with switching her language register, but Lo'ak couldn't care less about losing his game of hide and seek with Spider anymore. "You are the Spider's friend. You speak the English. You see? I speak the English too. You can talk to me." Y/n announced rather diplomatically, not knowing that Lo'ak was perfectly capable of speaking Na'vi as well. "Friends?" She reached out her hand, her eyes brimming with hope.
Lo'ak nodded and smiled back at her, still at a loss for words, until he finally said: "Yes, friends." But he didn't dare to shake her hand. Y/n dropped down from the branch she'd been hanging from gracefully, her tail twitching as she inquired: "You are hurt?", trying to get a better look at his hands.
"No!" Lo'ak blurted out, and in doing so he inadvertently put his hands forward to keep y/n at a distance, while he was backed up against the tree trunk, with nowhere else to go except fall to his death. Y/n's comically large eyes took in the sight of his hands, examining them for signs of trauma. But there were none. Lo'ak braced himself for the inevitable rejection. "Big baby." She chided. "Nothing wrong with your hands, see?" Lo'ak let y/n hold his hands up to his face, and Spider found them like that the very next second.
"Ha-ha!" He panted, out of breath from climbing all the way up to where the two Na'vi hadn't been so quiet. "I. Win."
"Win?" Y/n asked, dropping Lo'ak's hands. "Is it a game? Can I play? Oh, and-and my friends as well. You will meet them now. Come."
Lo'ak realized then, that was what it must have felt like to be chosen by someone.
From that day onward, Lo'ak and y/n had been inseparable. He was the first person she'd pick to play on her team once he and Spider had been accepted by her friends, he was the first and sometimes only person she'd tell her 'secrets' to, and as they grew older they would only go out hunting if the other was with them. Ceremonies, dinners, you name it, Lo'ak and y/n were sitting next to each other, trying their best to keep their giggles and whispers at a low volume, something y/n really couldn't help, especially when Neteyam would turn around to reprimand his younger brother.
Y/n got gradually closer with his family as well over the years, being of big help with babysitting Tuk and escorting Kiri to Hellsgate with the rest of her siblings whenever she wanted to visit her mom. Her English had gotten progressively better, and she was as fluent of a speaker as the rest of the Sullys, regretfully owing a lot of her vocab to the two brothers. On a particular outing to the lab, Lo'ak had been in the middle of teasing Kiri about her conception, and y/n was quick to respond to him, intent on defending her friend.
"-their avatars, all alone in the forest-" Lo'ak goaded Kiri, and y/n cut him off before her best friend could insinuate anything else. "As if you would know anything about that, virgin!" His siblings laughed at this.
"Who are you calling virgin, virgin?" He'd snap back, and their argument would usually end up in a scuffle, which he was always the first one to pull away from.
Lo'ak hadn't realized how easy he had it back then, before... Well, before none of them no longer had time to be kids. The sky people came back around the time of Neteyam's 20th birthday, and yet somehow, that hadn't been the most devastating event Lo'ak was about to experience in the days to come.
"Lo'ak listen to me, and for Eywa's sake, don't run off until I'm done talking." Neteyam rested a hand on his shoulder, he had never seen such a pained expression on his brother's face before. "Sempul has been talking to me about responsibility and family, and-"
Lo'ak tsked, shaking his head. "Big surprise there, bro."
"Lo'ak..." Neteyam said sternly, and Lo'ak wondered when exactly had his brother become so much like their father. "I saw him and sa'nok talking to y/n's parents the other day. Saying stuff like she is the only one other than Kiri who truly understands Eywa's will. They've seen her healing abilities, she's been helping out with the war effort under Mo'at instructions. They want her to be the next tshaik, after mother."
Lo'ak couldn't stop the ugly frown that took over his features, and neither could he prevent himself from shoving his brother off him in disdain. "What are you saying?" He asked angrily, even though he already knew the answer to his question.
"You know what I'm saying, bro-"
"You're not my brother!" Lo'ak snarled, and for once in his life actually felt intimidating as he did so. Neteyam looked even more distraught than he had been a few seconds ago, but his agony was nowhere as close as the hell wreaking havoc inside Lo'ak. Y/n was the one thing Lo'ak had in this world that was truly his, and now he was going to have to stand aside while she married his brother. "I love her, I need her." He screamed, the pain in his chest was unlike anything he'd ever felt. "You don't-"
"Exactly, I don't." Neteyam said, trying to recover his younger brother from his anguish. "And I will say no to this union, but you know this decision is out of my hands-"
"Of course, you'll do anything as long as it doesn't interfere with you being the perfect son!" Lo'ak spat with tears in his eyes and Neteyam was quick to raise his voice, something that he almost never did. "Do not say that, Lo'ak. You know that is not true-"
But Lo'ak was done talking. And he had a feeling he didn't want to stick around for the evening ceremony either.
Y/n had remained deadly silent as her parents had given her the news. Tsahik, marriage, Neteyam. At one point it all started to become white noise in her head. All she could think about was Lo'ak. The day they'd both ridden their ikrans for the first time, and had stayed out well passed the eclipse. The hunting excursions, when it was just the two of them. Listening to human music on a device they'd stolen from the lab one time.
"Oe tìwayn Lo'ak." She'd never said it out loud to anyone, but it was true. She loved Lo'ak, and her parents simply couldn't understand. The younger Sully boy was nothing but a troublemaker, a complete mance to the clan and anyone else around him. They were never going to give their beautiful, talented daughter away to a five-fingered freak of nature, no matter how much she begged and pleaded with them.
Y/n felt like she was having an out-of-body experience, not even recollecting how she'd found herself sitting amongst the rest of the clan, as they all faced the tree of souls and the Olo'eyktan began to speak. She couldn't see Lo'ak anywhere. Y/n found it harder and harder to breathe. He was still her best friend, and she needed to tell him what was about to happen before his father announced it to everyone they knew. Lo'ak would have thought she'd have kept it secret from him, and y/n could never break his trust.
"It is with great pride and joy that today we-" The clan leader, Jake Sully, had stopped talking in the middle of his speech and was now looking directly at her. In fact, everybody was. Y/n only then realized she'd stood up while everyone else was still sitting down. Neytiri walked up to her, wiping the tears from her face. Y/n hadn't even realized she'd been crying. "Child, you do not look well." She spoke warmly as if she were speaking to one of her own daughters.
Y/n's tail was twitching violently, still looking around for Lo'ak as she took in a shaky breath. "It is Lo'ak." She managed to say. "He is not here." Y/n whined and her parents decided to step in. "Sit down, daughter. You are disrespecting the clan leader. End this foolishness at once!" But Neytiri was quick to be concerned, asking Neteyam for answers about his brother's whereabouts. "He could not be here. And I do not blame him."
Jake finally decided to have his say. The only fool around had been him, if he'd only now realized the love Lo'ak and y/n had for each other, if the look in her eyes and Lo'ak's disappearance from her side had been anything to go by. "Every single one of our people is allowed to speak their mind. Y/n has not disrespected me, or anyone else." Jake reassured her parents. Y/n saw no other way out for herself, and she knew she was either going to have to say the truth now or forever be silent. "Forgive me, Olo'eyktan. Forgive me, Neytiri. I know I am promised to your eldest son, and I know you wish for me to be tsahik one day. These are the two greatest honors I could ever ask from Eywa herself, and I am grateful. Nothing should be more important to me than looking after the clan, especially now, in a time of war... but my heart, it belongs to your youngest son. It belongs to Lo'ak. It always has. And because I know I would be doing the clan a disservice, that I would be undermining your authority and Mo'at's, I am prepared to be exiled from the clan or pay whatever other punishment in light of my failure."
A loud ruckus erupted as soon as y/n had finished her speech, her parents, in particular, trying to undermine everything she'd just said, while everybody else began to give their opinion on the matter. "Where is he? Your demon son? Can he not even vouch for the woman he has clearly seduced?"
Neteyam could still hear the clan squabbling from where he eventually found his brother. His usual hiding place. "When you are done sulking" He said, announcing his presence before grabbing Lo'ak by the scruff of his neck. "Maybe you could come back and stand by y/n side. She is talking of leaving the clan-" Neteyam's eyes widened as he saw the deep claw marks that ran from Lo'ak's chest all the way down to his left side. Lo'ak was clutching his abdomen, his hands covered in blood.
"Lo'ak, look at me... bro!" Neteyam's voice cracked. "I'm taking you home now, understand? You're going to be fine..."
"I thought... If I could be... a mighty warrior... like you..." Lo'ak murmured, a faint smile on his face. "Maybe... "
But he didn't get to finish that sentence, because a blood-curdling scream had just pierced through both of their ears. Y/n had known about every single one of Lo'ak hiding places too, and it hadn't taken her long to find him. It was almost as if she'd already known, deep within her bones, that he had gone and hurt himself, yet nothing could have prepared her for seeing him like this. "Yawne, what have you done? what have you done?" She wailed and kissed his face, trying to put pressure on his wounds. Neteyam had to separate them, his priority was to take Lo'ak back to Mo'at in time, even though he was just as devastated as y/n.
Y/n didn't leave Lo'ak's side for a single second over the following days. She carried him home with Neteyam. She helped Mo'at and Neytiri heal him. She stayed by his bed until he finally regained consciousness. "Oeya-Lo'ak, you are awake!" Y/n embraced him, mindful of his recovering wounds. Lo'ak pulled away from y/n enough to look into her eyes. "You see me. Only you see me." He said, touching her face gently as she nodded, pressing her forehead against his. "Oel ngati kameie." Y/n whispered, and Lo'ak could have cried when he heard those words leave her lips. "Nga yawne lu oer, y/n. I see you."
Lo'ak came to know of her and Neteyam's refusal to be together, of the rift it had cut between y/n and her parents. How she'd stood up in front of them and the entire clan to declare that she loved him and she would sooner be exiled than belong to anyone else other than him. Amongst the Omaticaya there were some who were certain Lo'ak had taken advantage of y/n, so that he could trap her in being with him, knowing full well Lo'ak would have never lived up to his brother's perfect image. All of this enraged him. He could no longer withstand being on bedrest while wild accusations were being made on y/n. On his mate.
She hissed at him while he tried to get up, and his siblings were having none of it either, when his parents finally turned up to see him. Lo'ak took in their expressions. He had never seen them so worn out with worry. Both Neytiri and Jake embraced their youngest son, dutifully checking on him. After making sure he had eaten, and with Mo'at's permission, his parents asked for everyone except y/n to leave.
By the time his parents had also left, Lo'ak and y/n were promised to each other.
Lo'ak was on strict orders to recuperate from his run-in with a thanator over the coming weeks and was forced to get updates about the ongoing war from Kiri and Tuk. Neteyam and y/n would visit every day, but now that y/n had stepped down as future Tsahik, she was determined to make herself useful by replacing her mate in the war effort until he got better. Neteyam had sworn to Lo'ak that he would have kept y/n safe, but it didn't stop Lo'ak from trying to escape his grandmother's watchful eye so he too could be out on the battlefield with his yawne. Where he belonged.
"Oeya-Lo'ak, you are still recovering." Y/n would complain to him almost every night when she came back to be by his side. Truthfully, she was scared. The second the excuses for making him stay behind ran out, Lo'ak could have gone back to playing a reckless game with his own life. And now, her own life was tied to his. She had gotten hurt fighting the sky people, yes, but nothing could have ever come close to the visceral pain that had ripped through her the day she thought she had lost him forever. Sometimes it made her even too scared to get closer to him, of sharing everything of herself and then suddenly being left behind without ever being able to cope with that loss.
Y/n was on the verge of losing her mind, she was certain because the instinctive need to protect her own heart was more often than not overcome by a different type of need. Y/n had felt low echoes of it when she and Lo'ak had been growing up, whenever he'd wrap his tail around her leg or he'd be standing right behind her, his arms circling hers as he taught her how to shoot an arrow. Now that need was stronger than ever, and she knew what name to give it. Tìnew. Desire.
And she didn't know what to do with it. In fact, she felt ashamed. Lo'ak was still hurt, and all she could think about while she was in the middle of checking on his progress, was wondering what it would be like to run her hands across his body in a different type of way. Her other friends had all already mated, she knew. Y/n wondered sometimes if Lo'ak did not find her beautiful, if he regretted choosing her, but could no longer back out of his decision. He did not seem to want her, in fact, over the following weeks, he seemed to struggle greatly with the feeling of her touch. Something which had never happened before.
Little did she know that Lo'ak was struggling just as much as she was. Y/n's touch burned in such a delicious manner, Lo'ak could not have described it in his own words if he tried. All he knew was it left him starved and aching for more whenever she would eventually have to leave. But he could not initiate anything real while he was still in that state. He could see the sorrow in her eyes every time she'd look at his wounds, and he knew his recklessness had scarred her. And in turn, it had changed him. Eywa as his witness, he no longer wanted to hear y/n scream so viscerally as she had done the night he'd almost died. He needed to be a better person. If not for his sake, then for her own. Y/n was his responsibility now.
Soon he was back on his feet again, and ready to face the rest of the clan. Y/n would now sit amongst his family and Lo'ak was always glued to her side, ready to hiss or growl at anyone who so much as looked at his mate the wrong way. Y/n loved sitting between his legs with his chest to her back, wanting nothing more than to show off her mate to the rest of the clan. She noted that since his recovery, Lo'ak had been less inclined to chat or make jokes like he usually did when they both had to sit through another one of Jake's boring speeches before dinner. It made her sad, since Lo'ak's jokester side was one of the things she loved most about him, but she understood he was going through a lot.
It was on one of these occasions y/n decided to soothe her mate by reaching for his braid, bringing it to rest over her shoulder so she could play with it absentmindedly. Lo'ak realised only after a few minutes that her ministrations were making him purr. Him. Purr. In public. His hands dug into her hips and he hid his face in her neck, trying to keep quiet. "Yawne, you need to stop that... please..." Lo'ak whispered so only she could hear, her hands dangerously close to his queue. Y/n frowned and turned back to look at him. "Did I hurt you?" She asked in concern, reaching out to touch his face. Lo'ak felt his cheeks flare up with heat. He wanted to give her some cocky response, but in truth, he was scared. "No, no. You could never hurt me, y/n... it's more... the opposite." How could anyone want to be with him in that way? To physically bind themselves to him for the rest of their life? Hadn't he taken enough from y/n already?
"The opposite?" She asked, ears bent downwards and still not understanding. "If it makes you feel good, then why would I stop? I like hearing you purr..." Lo'ak tried once again to hide his blush by looking away but to no avail. Y/n's tail wrapped around his own then, preventing him from furiously whacking it against the ground every few seconds, like he always did when he was nervous. "It's just... I—"
All it took was for y/n to look him dead in the eye for her to understand. Eventually she would always see through him. "You wish to mate with me."
A nervous cough overcame Lo'ak as soon as y/n had said those words, making quite a few of their clan members turn towards him and shake their heads in disappointment. Y/n immediately grabbed some water for him to drink.
"Y-yes." He finally managed to say, not sure if he was ever going to recover from such an embarrassing display.
"But... I was certain... you did not desire me. That maybe, you loved me but did not find me beautiful..." Y/n confessed and Lo'ak realized what an absolute skxawng he'd been. The entire time he'd spent feeling sorry for himself and trying to be a better 'version' of himself for y/n, to stop getting in harm's way and taking every aspect of his life more seriously, he'd ended up neglecting his mate. The two of them had probably been the only couple to have waited so long, and he couldn't imagine what kind of reasons y/n had to come up with to explain his 'disinterest'. Clearly, he'd made her feel less than worthy, and it devastated him.
Lo'ak placed one of his hands over y/n's jaw, tilting her face upwards to look at him. "I never, ever want to hear you say that, yawne." He pulled her lower back snugly towards him until she could feel how hard he was for her, making her let out a shaky breath as she turned away from Lo'ak but pressed back against him even more. "Can't you feel how badly I want you? How badly I've always wanted you?" Y/n nodded, trying to look stoically in front of her as if nothing was going on. As if Lo'ak's words weren't making her heart feel like it was going to burst at any minute. As if it would make things any better, y/n reached for one of Lo'ak's hands and held it close to her breastplate, trying to slow her heartbeat down. "Your little heart is beating so fast..." Lo'ak spoke against her braids. "So is yours!" Y/n snapped at him in a low voice, making Lo'ak chuckle. She could feel the beat of his heart against her back.
She wondered if the rest of the clan members could tell what was going on. Y/n didn't want to disrespect Lo'ak's family a second time. But nobody seemed to be taking any notice of them, except the handful of jealous fuckers who eyed y/n whenever they thought he wasn't looking. Lo'ak wondered if they could tell she was shaking in his arms just because of his words. "You don't see the way they look at you? How much they hate me because you're mine?" He asked, placing a hand dangerously close to her inner thigh.
"I don't care about the others. I never have." Y/n sighed leaning back against him.
It was a long wait for everyone else to go to sleep and leave the Tree of Souls empty that night. Sure, they could have gone some place else, considering how worked up the two of them had gotten, but Lo'ak wanted to do things the right way. This was the one thing in his life that he was not going to half-ass or screw up.
Y/n had put him first since the day she'd met him and Lo'ak was going to spend the rest of the night, no, the rest of his life, showing her just how she made him feel every single day.
"You are worrying again..." Y/n noticed, pulling him down to sit next to her. Lo'ak had been overfixating on finding the perfect spot for them to lay down. "I am worried too..." She confessed touching his face. Lo'ak frowned, wrapping his arms around her waist. "We do not need to do this... if you've changed your mind..."
"Kehe! Of course not..." Y/n climbed on top of him, laying across his chest as she kissed him. "I am afraid of losing you... always." Lo'ak really didn't know what to say to those words, because he knew in his heart she was right and he could not argue. He felt exactly the same way about her, but he'd given y/n plenty of reason not to trust he'd stay out of harm's way. "What if... what if I am to carry your child and you don't come back to me? What then?"
The notion of getting y/n pregnant made Lo'ak revert to blushing and scrambling his words, and she blushed as well, realizing she had been somewhat blunt. Lo'ak hardly ever saw her blush and it truly was a sight to behold. "I promise. Eywa as my witness, I will always come back to you, yawne. Always. " As he said those words, Lo'ak didn't even feel like he was himself anymore, but he was certain he meant them.
Y/n brought both of her hands to his face and kissed him again, deeply this time. It was languid and desperate, almost as if she'd been waiting for that promise for a very long time. Lo'ak groaned as she run her tongue over his fangs, pulling away to graze his teeth over her neck and making her gasp. He sat up to get some leverage and asked his mate permission before sinking his teeth into her skin, marking her permanently.
"Lo'ak!" Y/n cried, digging her nails into his back as he lapped up the blood running down her neck. She gave him a sharp bite too, just over his shoulder, in retaliation, making him chuckle. "I'm sorry yawne, let me make it up to you..."
"You better, skxawng!" She huffed, shoving his chest playfully, even if the act of being marked had made the pressure between her legs so unbearable it was beginning to hurt. Lo'ak laughed again and y/n hissed at him meakly, ears drawn back. Why did his laugh also have to... have an effect on her?
"So I'm a skxawng, now?" Lo'ak asked in amusement as he kissed his way down her neck, deciding to get rid of her piece of clothing with his mouth also. It didn't take Y/n long to notice, Lo'ak's hands were no longer on her body, in fact he was leaning against them, only reaching out to touch her if he needed to hold her in place for a few seconds. He was still insecure about them, after all those years, and it would have broken her heart if Lo'ak hadn't been in the middle of making her feel so good. "I thought I was your yawne—"
Y/n got rid of her top piece herself and brought Lo'ak's hands to her breasts. His confidence seemed to leave him then. "You are my yawne. But you are also a skxawng... " She sighed softly through her nose. "I want you to use your hands on me, Lo'ak." Y/n told him, searching for his eyes as one of her hands guided his own over her breast.
"Y-yes. I know... it's just..."
Lo'ak's mind completely blanked the second y/n brought his other hand to her mouth, kissing every single one of his fingers before wrapping her lips around his index and middle finger, sucking around them. She took them as deep in her mouth as she could before pulling away again, enjoying the sight of her flustered mate. "Your hands are beautiful. And they're mine." She whispered, kissing the pad of his thumb. Lo'ak ran his thumb over her bottom lip, and reached back for her queue, bringing it together with his own.
"Nga yawne lu oer, I want to be with you, like this, forever." Lo'ak murmured before making the connection between them. Y/n jolted in his arms, hanging on to his neck for dear life. She'd known the tsaheylu would have felt good, intense even. But she could not have anticipated half of what she was feeling at that moment. Lo'ak's heart was beating so hard, she could feel it in her own chest, battling against her own. And he wanted her... Eywa, he wanted her so bad he could have died from it.
Lo'ak saw inside y/n too, and wasted no time in tugging her forward in a searing kiss. She arched into him and squeezed her thighs around his middle, squirming in his lap as he finally let his inhibitions go. "Want this off--off..." Y/n protested at the sight of his loincloth, rudely tugging at it without much regard for the fact Lo'ak wouldn't have anything to wear the following morning if she destroyed his clothes.
Lo'ak grinned and helped her, finally getting some of his cheeky attitude back. "Who knew my y/n could be so needy—" Her hand on his cock however was enough to make him shut up, well, curse under his breath more like. Y/n meanwhile was completely enthralled with what she was doing, enjoying the feeling of Lo'ak's shaft hardening and leaking under her touch. The fact he was falling apart from it was just an added bonus. "Where were you hiding all this?" She teased and Lo'ak was certain the woman in his arms was going to be the death of him.
"S-shut up..." He whined, struggling to even remember his name when she twisted her wrist and added just the right amount of pressure, making Lo'ak buck up into her hand instinctively. "Shit, y/n, you're being really... d-distracting right now... you need to give me... ah... a break, okay yawne?"
Against every fiber of his being, Lo'ak gently removed her hand. She frowned "Oh? But I like playing with your—"
"Kehe! None of that either..." Lo'ak reprimanded her softly and she giggled. "Let me focus on you, please? I've been waiting for so long..." Y/n nodded, smiling shyly at his words. "Honestly..." Lo'ak mumbled, kissing down the slope of her breasts, having hooked his arms underneath her thighs to hold her higher up. "Only you could get all shy... at something like that... and not about jerking me off..." Y/n loved to listen to Lo'ak talk to her while he drove her crazy with his hands and mouth. The second Lo'ak figured her nipples were particularly sensitive, she was a goner. She mewled and whined as he abused them with his mouth, and tugged harshly on his braids, which only seemed to encourage him further.
Her remaining piece of clothing was completely soaked, and y/n had to resort to rutting herself down against his thigh to get any sort of friction. "Shit..." Lo'ak cursed, realising he'd completely neglected that aspect of things. "Yawne, you're so wet... is this where you need me?" He cooed and Y/n nodded, crying out from the relief of feeling Lo'ak push a single long digit inside of her. She was ready for him, had been for a while, but that didn’t seem to matter because Lo'ak had just discovered how much he loved taking her apart with his fingers. He wanted to eat up every single reaction he could get out of her, hooked on the feeling of her slick running down his skin and the deep purring sounds she'd make if he stroked the most inner walls of her core.
"L-Lo'ak... Lo'ak please... I don't know what's happening..." she sobbed, the coil that had been building in the pit of her stomach was about to snap and it felt so good and so foreign at the same time, y/n didn't know what was about to happen. Lo'ak stilled immediately, afraid he'd been hurting his mate, but then he understood. He didn't know if it was through their bond, or something else, but he just knew. "Just hold on to me, yawne." He asked he to trust him, not faltering his rhythm inside her for a second. "Trust me, I know it's scary, but you're about to feel so good. So, so good... I promise..."
The only thing better than watching his mate come apart was feeling her pleasure radiate through their bond. Lo'ak watched y/n in complete and utter adoration, holding her through the aftermath until her breathing went back to normal. "Lo'ak..."
"What is it, yawne...?"
"Don't make me wait anymore..." Y/n laid herself down on the grass, pulling Lo'ak down to be on top of her. It was so dark now so could perfectly make out all the luminous freckles on his body. He entered her slowly, immediately feeling like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. Y/n was slick, warm and impossibly tight around him. It took everything he had not to fuck her senseless right then and there.
Y/n on her part wanted Lo'ak to be as close to her as it was physically possible. She wanted his body to completely cover her own, feel his entire weight bare down on her. "I'm right here, y/n..." He reassured her as he began to move, listening to her soft moans. "I see you."
It didn't take long for y/n to start meeting his thrusts, whining that he go faster. "I don't want you to stop, Lo'ak... you can't—" She had never felt so good in her life, and she begged to Eywa that the morning would never come if this was what the rest of their night was going to be like.
"No, 'm not gonna stop, yawne..." Lo'ak quelled her worries with a kiss, and lifted her hips upwards to hold them in place. The new angle made y/n cry out his name, and Lo'ak held her like that, one arm around her middle and his other hand splayed out across her stomach to keep her still as he fucked her in earnest. The nature of that raw act made her cum again, this time without warning as she clamped down on his cock.
Lo'ak wasn't that far behind her either. "Good. That's my good girl..." He praised, reaching out for her hand as she intertwined their fingers together. "Yawne... y/n I'm going to cum now... " He was about to make himself pull away, since they hadn't really discussed that sort of thing, but y/n locked her legs around his waist. "Inside me..." She whined with a shudder, a little overestimated by that point. That was more than enough to tip Lo'ak over the edge. He groaned, fucking his load inside y/n for what felt like an eternity. He'd never come so much and for so long.
Afterwards he found that he couldn't pull away from his mate. Y/n was particularly adamant that he stay inside of her even while they slept, and it didn’t fail to make Lo'ak grin like an idiot. "Can I at least turn as around so you can sleep more comfortably? I promise you, you can have my dick back in a second..."
She hissed at him, dismounting from him herself. "Only you could ruin a romantic moment like that, skxawng..."
Lo'ak hugged her from behind, kissing the bite mark he'd left on her neck. "So I'm back to being a skxawng? You know I liked the things you were calling me before a lot better..." He teased, doing a very poor impression of her moaning, which made y/n give his tail a sharp tug.
He did the same in retaliation and the ended up in one of their usual play-fights, only this time, Lo'ak didn't eventually shy away from her touch. Once they'd both finally worn each other out, Lo'ak wrapped his arms tightly around y/n as she rested on top of him.
"Y/n..." He whispered, wandering if she was still awake. Luckily she was already fast asleep. "Thank you. For choosing me."
#my writing#requests#avatar the way of water#avatar way of water#avatar 2#avatar x reader#avatar x you#avatar x y/n#lo'ak x you#lo'ak x reader#lo'ak fluff#lo'ak fanfiction#lo'ak smut#lo'ak imagine#lo'ak sully#lo'ak headcanons#lo'ak x y/n#atwow#atwow smut#atwow x reader#lo'ak x fem reader#avatar 2009#avatar fanfiction#avatar x reader smut
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some andy crenshaw lore paste dump
(andy is visually impaired, 19 and has a guidefish named snickers!)
andy’s vision got. progressively worse as he got older. he was always pretty blind but when he was younger he could see fine with glasses and a heavy prescription. always a little off balance but he managed. when he was 8 he started losing his peripheral vision, just slowly getting blurrier (even with glasses) and dimmer. around 14 his eyesight was to the point where glasses weren’t quite enough, he couldnt see 6 feet in front of him, and started learning to use a cane around school and going out with his mom or friends.
buttttt… for his 14th birthday his parents surprised him with the news that he was gonna be getting a guidefish (which andy had been talking a lot about) and he was SO excited. got to meet young snickers (who had already been training for a year already) and play with him, and over the next little while he’d go to the training place once a week to train with him! (since andy had never had a guide animal before)
when andy was 15 snickers was fully trained and ready to go home with him :) and he was SO happy. felt so independent and loved snickers to death. it was a bit of an adjustment at school, had a bit of issue at the start with people distracting snicks and asking to pet him, but no one bothered him too much. andy was a really nice dude and got along with everyone. respected him and snickers
at 15 his peripheral was pretty much gone, but with his glasses he could see decently as long as it was far enough away. close up was really blurry, he couldn’t read, relied fully on braille like he had been since he was younger.
started playing turf at 16. liked long range weapons. started with a hydra, since he could see much clearly from far away and playing as a backliner meant he didn’t really have to be in the heat of the game. eventually switched to chargers because someone pointed out how good his aim was. settled on elitre. got really good with it. like really good.
there was just one issue. not a lot of people wanted to play with him regularly. they’d play a few games after randomly matching with him, but then after realizing he’s visually impaired, they saw him as nothing but a disadvantage, despite praising him previously for his aim. they saw him as a weakness. didn’t want him on their team. it annoyed him a lot. he wasn’t even allowed to play competitively, the judges felt it was unfair for both him and other players for andy to compete with how severe his vision loss was. he thought it was bullshit, but learned to roll with it. make the best out of it. played a lot of soloq, was still his regular, friendly, happy self.
then he met these 2 octolings after a game. pretty thick octarian accent, introducing themselves as Cider and Azure. the latter being… where was that voice coming from?
“i’m down here jackass”
andy looked down a little more, trying to pinpoint his eyes on something without them shaking, settling on a blue blob. laughed it off, going “sorry, i’m blind, i’m andy”
andy doesn’t see it, but azure’s face drops immediately while cider starts laughing.
the voice coming from the blue blob (he’s pretty sure that one’s Azure) goes “oh my god this is a terrible first impression. im gonna restart. im azure. and short. and uh. not blind? you look really cool my buddy here wanted to say hi”
azure gets smacked in the back of the head by cider, who whispers “you wanted me to say hi”
“DUDE”
andy just laughs at them slightly, liking their vibes. azure grabs his hand and puts it on his head and goes “im down here! anyways. you play anarchy?”
“he just said he’s blind”
“HES HOLDING AN ELITRE”
andy chuckles a little more and goes “i play turf. i can kinda see, it’s just like… a scope. i can’t see up close at all, yknow”
“you should play anarchy with us!!!”
“uhhh…”
cider shuts azure up. “im sorry about him. what he’s trying to say is that he thinks you look fun and if you’re ever interested in playing anarchy with some people we’d be down. or even to like- go get lunch”
“oh! well, yknow sure why not”
azure jumps up and goes “like right now?”
“sure?”
“YEAHAHHAHA LETS GO you’re gonna be a fun guy i can tell”
andy laughs again, going goes “just uh, i have a guidefish, lemme go get him. i’m not actually sure how to get to the anarchy floor”
azure whispers “HES GOT A FUCKIN FISH this guy is so cool we made the right choice”
the three become really close from then on out. azure and cider have been best friends their whole lives, but it feels like they’ve known andy for years. they don’t treat him weirdly for being blind, respect his and snickers’ space when they’re walking, always offering help if it seems like he’s struggling, but never pushing.
cider and azure always defended andy when some rando would give him shit or tease him in any way. saying his eyes looked weird, or how his glasses made him look dumb, or calling him stupid for having to use the tip of his charger as a cane outside of games, and feeling around walls to pinpoint where he was during them.
neither of them minded that andy couldn’t play competitively. cider and azure did duo competitions and andy (and snickers) always came to cheer them on and celebrate with them after. played together casually as much as they could. hung out almost every weekend.
#splatoon oc andy#splatoon oc#nephyroc#splatoon#splatoon oc azure#splatoon oc cider#snickers the catfish
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Bartender!Robin Buckley x Recordstore Owner!F!reader DRABBLE
SUGAR, SUGAR, SUGAR
@a-adventurer
!not proofread!
genre: fluff/comfort/a little suggesting
warnings: slightly suggesting, kissing???, alcohol, reader is a bit obsessed with Robin
songs :
S.T.A.R child - The Orion Experience
Obsessed with you - The Orion Experience
cosmicandygirl - The Orion Experience
Sugar - The Orion Experience
Robin and you knew each other. Well...kind of, while you were at work your gaze would shift to the Bar across the street, the place where the young woman worked. You saw her everyday and talked to her every Friday night when getting drinks at her workplace. And with every conversation your liking for her grew.
But what you didn't know is that she noticed you aswell and that she might already got a liking for you.
You were running late for your shift again.
It was almost 9am and the Store opens ...or rather was supposed to open at 9:15 and you've barely reached the main street.
Your feet hitting the pedals of your bike so fast that you almost fall over. The music on your Walkman playing over the earphones you got last week.
Like an angel heaven sent
S.T.A.R child
You stop infront of the small record shop , fumbling with the keys in your hand , struggling to fish out the right one, eventually getting that and open up the door. You quickly set up for the day and rush behind the counter. On time: 9:14 am.
You lean back , your back seated at the wall.
And just like that, the hours went on. Occasionally customers would enter and either buy or rent records,vinyls and dvd's.
You turn on the radio, getting up to get the boxes with new records.
I've got your picture on my wall.
I dream about you when I sleep.
I go out of my way, everyday, just hoping that
I'll catch you walking down your street.
You face the window, catching a glimpse of a woman with dirt blonde hair opening up a door.
it's her.
I know your middle name.
I've got a lock of your hair.
I'm just a little bit insane,
cause I think I see you everywhere.
You hop along the aisles, sorting out records and refilling the now empty space with newcomers.
want to get next to you.
Yeah I love all the things you do.
I want to get close to you.
You are my dream come true.
I want to have sex with you.
Your sweet caress won't do.
Cause I'm obsessed with you.
Yeah I'm obsessed with you.
You look at the now clean and tidy space, proud of your work and look at the clock. Almost 7pm...Time to close up, you think to yourself, walking behind the counter to get your back and the keys.
Your smile sets my heart aflame.
Electrocute me with your eyes.
The very mention of your name,
My stomach fills with butterflies.
Your love is better than cocaine
I need you more than oxygen.
With a content sigh, you exit the store, shutting the door and lock up with your keys. Then turn the 'Open' sign around so It'd show 'closed'.
Hopping on your bike you drive home.
--------- ----------
Robin works behind the bar, listening to the music they were playing today.
She wouldn't pay too much attention to the customers, waiting, for one special girl who'd be here...every Friday night.
She must admit, she found a liking in her.
In the way her eyes sparkle whenever she talks to someone, the way she orders drinks from her and the way she saw her stop and stare.
Both knew of eachother. Robin was sure of it, she just didn't know if she could make a move yet. What if you weren't even into girls and you were just nice, she thinks it's obvious you go particularly into this , no, her bar in Hawkins, you work across the street for a reason. You must live nearby.
Robin would shake her head, trying to shake the thoughts off that are pestering her head.
---- ---
She's got her head in the clouds
Her high heeled boots float ten feet off of the ground
People stop and stare
She hides her eyes behind long ultraviolet hair
She's unbelievable, oh, what a spectacle
You'd enter the bar , your (h/c) hair would shimmer in the disco like light. Today's theme was a mix of blue, pink and purple.
You like that combination.
You take a seat on one of the barstools by the counter, taking a look at the drinks menu.
"What can I get you?"
The voice of a woman shook you out of your thoughts. When you tilt your head up, your (e/c) eyes meet the blue ones of her. Robin Buckley. Her name was written on the name tag that was loosely hanging on her work uniform.
She holds the eye contact for a second, noticing you didn't speak up.
"Did work give you the rest today?"
"Oh, no, it was alright actually" You chuckle embarrassed "I'll take the usual ,just an extra shot please"
"That can be arranged" she smiles and chuckles aswell , mixing you a drink and handing it to you, standing on the other side of the counter
You take a big sip , sighing "Thank you, good as always"
Robin grins "Tip as always?"
"Tip as always" you'd laugh, feeling the alcoholic beverage run down your throat.
Did you see her somewhere in Tokyo?
In a tea shop? In a disco?
Or did you dream of her? It's just so hard to know
Is she a ghost or just a shadow?
You sit in silence for a moment, both of you noticing the tension, that the usual smalltalk didn't work like it normally did.
Robin would clear her throat.
"Enjoying this so far?"
You nod "sure I do" ,paying close attention to the music playing again.
Robin replaying Steve's words to her in her head
Rob' what can go wrong if you just ask her out? come on, no one has the bad luck with woman like me, it'll be ok! I'm sure she'll say yes, I mean, who wouldn't go on a date with you.
Robin shakes her head as you drink another glass.
"Can I, ask you something Y/n?" She speaks up
Did you see her in San Francisco
In the mission on the metro?
Or did you dream of her? It's just so hard to know
Is she a ghost or just a shadow?
You look up at her, your eyes locking once again "What is it Buckley?"
She gulps "I've been wondering if you'd like to, well, want to go out with me sometime?"
You're glad that the flickering lights hide your redness.
Did Robin Buckley
Your Crush since middle school
just ask you out?
You look at her flabbergasted
"You, you want to go out, with me?" you ask her, hoping this isn't just a sweet dream that you'd wake up from in a few minutes.
"Yea Dingus, like I said, go out with me...please" She says "I've been noticing you come here often and I don't want to just see you on Friday nights when you get drunk and I'm just a waiter Y/n. I want to see you all the time, just our little conversations we share aren't enough,but they were enough to let me go crazy for you"
Now you're even more confused. She thought the same about you? She likes , no she is into you?
"I, I'd love to go out with you, Robin" you smile and move your hand up the counter to gently touch hers that's been laying there.
Sugar, sugar, you're no good for me.
I've got a sweet tooth,
It gets the best of me.
She'd grin "It's...a date then? I'll pick you up tomorrow after work and we do whatever?"
You nod and drink up your glass, leaning over the counter "It's a date" you'd say.
That's when she can't hold it anymore, she leans into you, one hand still intertwined with yours, the other cupping your cheek. Her lips touch yours.
They're soft, taste like strawberry and soda.
And you close your eyes, moving in sync with her.
Oh, you make me high!
I can't resist your deliciousness, you're sweetly divine.
Your free hand still holding the glass in your hand, she moves back and takes it from you. "That goes on me, doll." she smiles.
You don't say a word, just wink at her and turn around, walking out of the bar.
You're like candy, you go down so easily.
You're going to be the death of me.
The door shuts behind you as you enter the warm summer air, a light breeze hitting your skin. The sound of the music softly vanishes in the night.
Sugar, sugar, sugar...
When Robin gets home that night she immediately phones Steve.
"I told you she likes boobies"
THE END
#robin buckley#robin buckley stranger things#robin buckley x reader#robin buckley x you#robin buckley x y/n#stranger things#stranger things fic#stranger things au
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New post: "EDDIE REDMAYNE & GAYLE RANKIN BRING AUDIENCES INTO THE KIT KAT CLUB"
FRANK DILELLA | FEBRUARY 6, 2024.
Starting April 1, a hearty “Willkommen” awaits at the enticing and electrifying Kit Kat Club (a.k.a., the August Wilson Theatre) on 52nd Street on Broadway. The London transfer of the 2022 Olivier Award–winning revival of Cabaret is one of the most highly anticipated musicals of the spring season. Tony-winning actor Eddie Redmayne is set to reprise his performance of the Emcee, a role he won an Olivier for when he opened the show in the West End. He’ll be joined by actress Gayle Rankin, who is new to this production of Cabaret, taking on the show’s leading lady, Sally Bowles. Entertainment journalist for Spectrum News NY1 Frank DiLella caught up with both Redmayne and Rankin to talk their love of Cabaret and much more.
Eddie, congratulations on the Broadway transfer of this brilliant revival. How are you feeling knowing you’re once again taking on the Emcee in Cabaret?
EDDIE REDMAYNE: Thanks so much. Honestly, this is one of the pieces that made me fall in love with theater as a kid, so the fact that I got to play this iconic part on stage professionally in London was truly a bucket-list moment fulfilled. But when I was about 9 or 10, I became oddly obsessed with New York. London was home, but I was always looking at photographs of New York, researching the place. When I eventually came to the city and went to Times Square, it was one of those completely overwhelming sensations. I remember my whole body reacting. So the idea that I now get the chance to play this part in this show that I’m so passionate about in the mecca of musical theater — which is Broadway — is beautifully daunting and also 100 percent thrilling!
Gayle, Cabaret seems to be your show. You were part of the 2014 Roundabout revival with Alan Cumming — you played Fraulein Kost.
GAYLE RANKIN: I can’t tell you how moving it is to have worked on Cabaret a decade ago, and after lovingly letting it go, it’s come back to me with the gargantuan gift of Sally. [Laughs.] It is my show! I feel wildly privileged to be able to say that. I know I have to continue to earn that privilege because of what the show is and what it means. But I have never felt more ready to do that now, inside of this amazing production and with this incredible group of artists.
Eddie, when were you first introduced to Cabaret?
ER: I was first introduced to it when I was in school; I was around 15 or 16, and there was a little production being done at my school. And that was the first time I listened to the music. I remember hunting down all the possible CD versions I could find. I remember looking for a production to see, but there were none playing in London, so the very first production I ever saw of Cabaret was, randomly, the Spanish version in Madrid — and it was the Sam Mendes version, but in Spanish! I was 19 and completely blown away. Since then, I saw Emma Stone and Alan Cumming do it brilliantly in New York, and of course Rufus Norris’s version in London. I’m a sort of Cabaret junkie.
How about you, Gayle?
GR: The first time I was introduced to it was when I was in a musical-theater program in Scotland and one of the other young women had been given the song “Maybe This Time,” and I remember being like, “Wow! What a song!” That’s when I was introduced to Cabaret as a property.
Eddie, it’s my understanding that you were instrumental with making this production of Cabaret take shape.
ER: Ha! It’s been a long old road. After I did Cabaret in school in my late teens, there was an amateur production of Cabaret going to the Edinburgh Festival, and I got cast in that, and the venue that we were doing the show in was called The Underbelly. It was dark and damp and people were sitting around tables. I loved every minute, and it affirmed my want to be an actor. The guys who set up that venue became producers professionally and the Underbelly transformed to become a brilliant venue and producing house in the U.K. They approached me about seven years ago and asked if I would ever consider doing Cabaret again. It had always been on my bucket list, and I thought long and hard about it — as I said, it’s dream territory. Then Jessie Buckley leapt into my mind, who is an extraordinary actor and singer, and she and I plotted together. We both approached the brilliant director Rebecca Frecknall, and piece by piece this thing built momentum. But it had been done so beautifully and vividly before, we only wanted to do it if we could find a new way in, something that perhaps hadn’t been explored before. And with Rebecca, the brilliant Tom Scutt, Julia Cheng, and Jordan Fein — our designer, choreographer, and prologue director — we took on this idea of inviting an audience through the underbelly of the theatre, taking them through this experience so by the time they arrive in the theatre, they’ve truly left all their troubles outside.
Eddie, you’re taking on one of the great roles of the musical theater, the Emcee, and I have to say, having seen you on stage in London, your Emcee is different compared to Joel Grey’s and Alan Cumming’s.
ER: I think one of the reasons he’s such an appealing part is because he’s one of the most enigmatic parts that I’ve ever read, witnessed, or experienced. The Emcee was a part that was created by Joel and Hal Prince [director of the original Cabaret] to join scenes together. He has no literary basis. So in some ways, the part exists in an abstract way. One of the things that I tried to do when I first started was I attempted to rationalize him and create a backstory. But the second you try to pin him down, he falls flat — he’s too quixotic for that. In the end it became trying to find a way into him physically and through instinct alone. It felt like a high-wire act. But a thrilling one.
Gayle, Sally Bowles is one of the great female roles in musical theater. Who is your Sally?
GR: My Sally is close to me. I think she’s only to be known truly by me. Sally can infamously live in a space where she can be pitied to people, and I don’t think that’s the whole story. There’s more to be told about her. And I feel compelled to take that on.
Do you feel that your experience of doing the 2014 Cabaret revival with Alan Cumming, where you played a Kit Kat Club girl and Fraulein Kost, prepped you for Sally?
GR: How could it not? For something to live inside of you both consciously and unconsciously — I hope I’ve evolved as a person and as an artist, and I feel like I’ve never been more ready to take Sally on. And I feel like I’m a big enough girl to admit the 2014 production — I was not in a place or was the right person to play Sally even though I had the time of my life with that show.
Sally gets some amazing musical moments. “Maybe This Time,” “Cabaret,” “Don’t Tell Mama” … Favorite tune in the show?
GR: It’s always been “I Don’t Care Much” [sung by the Emcee]. Sally’s songs are almost too meaningful; I can’t pick one, they’re like children. [Laughs.] But there’s something about “I Don’t Care Much” that’s so essential to the conversation and the story and lives inside of all those characters. This longing for hope during so much horror. That song just moves me.
Gayle, take me to your opening night, when you take your bow as Sally Bowles.
GR: [Laughs.] Frank! What a question. Now I’m crying. My niece will be there, and she’s 12, and I’ll probably be looking at her. I’ll probably be tired. [Laughs.] I think I’m going to be really happy.
This show is quite the experience. Give a little preview of what New York audiences can expect once they enter the Kit Kat Club.
ER: I can’t paint that picture for you just yet because it’s in the process of being built and designed by Tom Scutt. Tom Scutt is one of the most thrilling creative minds I’ve had the privilege to work with. What his plans are for New York are completely captivating. The idea is that you’re brought in as an audience not through the conventional way of the theatre — you’re met by an entire prologue cast of dancers and musicians. You are submerged into the world of Cabaret from the second you pass the threshold. For me, I hope it makes the experience — you will feel like you’re part of an all-consuming event. You will also get to witness Gayle’s Sally — Gayle is a volcano of talent — Bebe Neuwirth’s Fraulein Schneider, Ato Blankson-Wood’s Cliff, Steven Skybell’s Schultz. A staggering ensemble — the list goes on. So many exciting things.
Eddie, you’re following in the footsteps of two celebrated actors who played the role of the Emcee: Joel Grey and Alan Cumming. Any interaction with them?
ER: I haven’t with Alan since I’ve played it. I met Alan in Los Angeles years ago and he’s just an extraordinary talent. Joel, I had never met, but then I got through the first act of Cabaret on opening night in London, and at the interval some flowers arrived and I opened the card and it was from Joel Grey. And in the midst of our opening night show, opening his generous card was one of the great moments.
I was so haunted by this production when I saw it in London. The time feels right to see and experience Cabaret.
ER: There is something so searingly relevant with this piece. And I feel like whenever Cabaret is being done, it’s relevant. But with what’s going on in the world today, I feel like it’s a cautionary tale — it sings loudly and clear and it’s this idea of the fear of the other. The political gain of “othering” people. And that constant repetition of scapegoating and hatred is what we’re seeing in our politics now.
GR: I’m not sure what John Kander and Fred Ebb and Joe Masteroff were channeling when they were writing this — they were able to tap into something that’s so cyclical. And as a humanity, I think we all hope that Cabaret becomes not as relevant as it is.
---
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Chances - Chapter 14
Summary: Jordan and Marko clean up the mess in her home and talk about themselves. Then they head to the boardwalk and Jordan has a strange experience she can't understand
I'm so sorry for taking a long hiatus from continuing this fic, I swear I'll try to be more consistent from now on.
Chapter 13 <<< >>> Chapter 15
TW// Minor blood and corpses, Stalking ment.
----------------------------
The whole table watched silently as Jordan and Marko got all lovey with each other, then they heard an audible sniffle coming from Paul who was tearing up at the sight of his best friend finally roping in Jordan. Jane notices and asks “Is everything alright dear?” Paul stood up
“I’ve never felt better! My brother has finally found love! I’m so proud of you!” He bounds over to Marko’s side and snags him away from Jordan just to give a big hug and noogies on his head much to his dismay. While Marko struggles to get away from Paul’s grasp, Harold speaks.
“Well ain’t that sweet, I’m glad you’re happy Jordan…but don’t think that I completely trust him or his posse.” The boys all perk up at his statement and Marko speaks “Oh okay so fuck the fact I saved your daughter’s life, I’m still a bad guy apparently.” He gets defensive and Harold retorts.
“You saved my daughter once and think you are entitled to have her? That ain’t happening sport, not while I’m here to say so. I don’t need another problem boy coming in, if I recall he was a lot like you! A little less blunt however…”
Marko was offended until David got curious. “There seems to be an ex in this picture, did he look like Marko or something?” He looked to Jordan for answers but her mother intervened.
“No, he looked like…um…if you two had a child.” Jane pointed at Dwayne and Paul and they both looked at each other. “Dwayne, how many kids do you have that you never told me about? We’re supposed to be raising Laddie together yet here you are making more babies?” He feigns a look of hurt on his face while Dwayne rolls his eyes. “You’re an idiot.”
“Guys please, can we not talk about this right now. Mom, Dad, I’ll tell them eventually. Just not right now.” Jordan places her hands on the table firmly and he drops the subject.
“If you insist…” Jane drops it. The whole table goes silent for a few awkward moments before David gets up from his chair.
“Well I think we’ve discussed enough for tonight, the night is young and we need to spread our wings and go.” He smiles at Jordan’s parents before making his way towards the door.
Paul then gets up and stretches his arms out groaning obnoxiously. “Yeah, I’m ready to go have some fun.” He follows in David’s direction, then Dwayne gets up and approaches Jordan.
“Could you remove these bandages off of me, my arm is fine now.” He gestures to his bandaged up arm and Jordan gets up heading for her room.
“Of course, the first aid kit should have scissors for cutting the…” She reaches the bottom of the stairs leading into her room and remembers the mess the boys and her had left. Blood was on the floor and on her stuff, not to mention the corpses sitting in the middle of the room. “I thought you guys removed the bodies after I finished?”
“Nope. I’m sure Marko will be glad to help you though.” Dwayne pats her shoulder while he fetches the scissors, leaving her standing like an idiot not knowing what to do next. Marko comes down and sees her eyeing the mess they left and he walks up to her side.
“So…where do we start?” He bites his thumb and Jordan gives him a look.
“Get rid of those guys and I’ll start cleaning.”
-----------------
After an hour or so they finish with cleaning the best they can. While they are alone, Marko watches from her bed as she scrubs at the carpet trying to clean up the blood to the best of her ability. Bixby jumps onto the bed and sits beside him. Marko tries petting him but Bixby just growls at him, in turn Marko growls back at him.
“You boys need to get along if you want this to work.” Jordan calls from the floor.
“Then tell him that he needs to piss off and that I ain’t scared of him.” Marko retorts as Bixby makes himself comfortable on the bed. “Is he a hellcat or something?”
“I don’t know, maybe. Are hellcats even a thing?” She sits up from her spot getting invested in the convo.
“Why wouldn’t they be? How did you even find him?” He looked at her questionably.
Jordan stood up and explained “Well when we moved here, he just sorta showed up. I think my grandparents may have been feeding him, at first he hated me. My parents told me not to bring him in or get too attached but, what do they know?” She walked over to the bed and kneeled down to pet Bixby while he purred happily.
“I see. This was your grandparents' house?” He looked around the basement while he asked.
“Yeah, they both died and they said not to sell it. So we sold our own place and moved here, it’s a nice place honestly.” She sat on the bed next to Marko.
“What did you think of Santa Carla when you first got here?” Jordan thought for a minute, and Marko thought he wouldn’t get an answer. But he did.
“It was…awesome. I mean back where I’m from, I was bullied a lot for being different and so I was a loner. But here, no one judges you. I met people who were a lot like me and liked me for who I was. I’d say there’s nothing better than that. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone who dresses the way you do anywhere outside of Santa Carla.” She looked at his outfit and traced her hand over his sleeve to make her point.
Marko chuckled a bit. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Would you say I’m your type?” He leaned into her, smirking at her.
“Well, I never imagined myself dating a greasy haired guy wearing leather chaps. What’s with the chaps anyways? Were you a cowboy or something?” She pulled at his chaps and he went quiet trying to remember his past life. “Wait, how old are you?”
“Well uh…let’s just say I became a vamp in 1906.” She looked at him flabbergasted.
“Shut Up. No way.”
“Yes way. Me and my brothers were in San Francisco before we came here. Although I ran away from my home in New York.”
“Wow…I gotta say you might’ve been a vampire for almost a century now but you don’t look a day over twenty.”
“You’re technically right cuz I was nineteen when I turned. Speaking of age…how old are you?”
“I was 20 when I turned…I technically should be turning 21 this year in October.” She looked forlornly at the ground thinking about her stolen humanity.
“So you’ll be of legal drinking age soon huh?” Marko attempted to throw in some humor with the question.
“Bold of you to assume I’d wanna drink, the thought alone makes me wanna vomit.” Jordan keeps her gaze at the floor but speaks with a hint of venom in her voice. Marko raises an eyebrow, he’s piecing things together.
“Say, does that bottle Paul brought out have anything to do with your past?” He leans towards her, propping his elbows onto his knee trying to look at her face to face.
“We should go with your brothers now, I’m not talking about this tonight.” Jordan stands up and walks upstairs leaving Marko alone. Marko exhales through his nose and thinks “She can’t hide this forever…”. He hears a growl from beside him and sees Bixby giving him a look of anger. “Piss off…whether you like it or not, we are sharing her.” He gets up and goes upstairs with a huff.
---------------------
Marko and Jordan head to the boardwalk to catch up with the boys and find them watching a concert on the beach. They both pull up on their own bikes, and upon getting off the bike, Marko goes over to David to talk to him while Jordan moves over to where Paul was standing. Of course, he strikes up a conversation.
“Sup Jordan, so how’d things go with Marko in the bedroom? Did he satisfy you?” He wiggles his eyebrows and in return he’s flicked on the nose.
“If you meant how well he cleaned up after your mess then I’d say he did a pretty good job.” Jordan leaned on the railing and Paul lit a cigarette. He held the box in her direction, in which she took one.
“So, did anything else happen?” Paul asked. Jordan shook her head, and Paul dropped it opting to watch the performance in front of them. Paul had a sneaking suspicion that Marko might’ve pressed a button or two so he opened up the pack bond to ask. “Marko, what’s up with Jordan?”
“She’s not one for sharing details on her past, that’s all.”
“Then we should take her mind off of it, she’s kinda killing the mood.”
“Okay then, what do we do?” Marko looks over at Paul and they both seemingly get the same idea. Paul slips an arm around Jordan and guides her to Marko.
“Jordan, I think it’s about time you come see where we live, and since we made a mess at your place you have my permission to take one thing you like and keep it.” He stomps out his cigarette and leaves her with Marko.
“I’m assuming that you guys must have some cool stuff if you’re offering for me to take something I like.” Marko just shrugs before David intervenes.
“Well, let’s go eat before we do any of that. I think I spotted someone of interest. Can one of you go find Dwayne and let him know we’re leaving?” He points at Jordan and nods in a certain direction.
Assuming he wanted her to go look, she left. She walked through the boardwalk scanning through the crowds looking for the two, while she walked she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Sam?” Jordan looked at him surprised to see him trying to talk to her considering what happened.
“Look, Jordan I wanted to just say that I’m sorry about what happened. I really don’t wanna start anything.” While Jordan didn’t want to believe him, there was something about his demeanor that made her feel bad for him. So she turned to give him her full attention. “I was just scared of the fact that you were a vampire this whole time, but I don’t want to hurt you. Considering you’ve apparently been a vamp this whole time, you could’ve hurt me. But you didn’t, so I’m not gonna hurt ya.” He put his hands up as a sign of a truce.
Jordan thought for a minute, before coming to a conclusion “You’re alright, Sam. I’ll be sure to let the boys know.” She turned and walked off leaving Sam in the crowd alone. She had to continue her search for Dwayne and Laddie, but they seemingly found her before she could as she felt a tiny weight attach itself onto Jordan’s leg.
“Hi, Jordan!” Laddie looks up at her with a happy smile.
“Hey bud, is Dwayne with you? We gotta get going now.” He pointed to the dark haired man approaching them.
“Hey, Jordan. Laddie, I told you not to run off without me.” He pried him off of Jordan’s leg and threw him over his shoulder making him squeal in surprise. “So I’m assuming David sent you?” Jordan nodded, leaving Dwayne to comply and make his way back while Laddie tried wiggling out of Dwayne's grasp to no avail.
Before Jordan could make her way to follow, she felt a presence in the air that made her stop dead in her tracks. She wasn’t sure what it was, but the hair on the back of her neck stood up and she looked around only to see…nothing. Even though nothing was there, she kept looking at a particularly shady area where she could swear someone was there. Tuning all the other people and music out of her mind she started walking towards the area, looking for any shred of life potentially watching her. But before she could properly check, she was pulled from her trance by Marko. “You okay Jordan?” He looked at the area she was headed towards and saw nothing. Putting a protective arm around her, he started guiding her back while looking behind his shoulder every few seconds. “Hey, I asked if you were alright?” He once again asked.
“I’m fine, I just could’ve swore someone was watching me.” She tried taking her mind off of what happened, but she just kept wondering what would’ve happened if she hadn’t been stopped.
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can you make one where the reader is a ambitious and smart woman, she knows it would be hard for her as a woman in her situation to get rich without marrying a rich man and she always knew that tommy would achieve great things and become a business man so she promise she will marry him one day and that's exactly what she does. she's younger then him but grew up around the shelby family. from the moment she turns 18 she does her best to make tommy fall in love with her and propose (w/happy ending
Dear Anon,
Thank you for writing. I really struggled with this one (mostly due to current personal issues taking up space in my mind) I can't tell how good it is but I hope that it's what you are looking for! Thank you again for waiting <3
Warnings: Peaky-related violence, hurt feelings, description of not-so-great upbringing
The streets were just like everything else in your life, damp and dirty. You grew up close to the Shelby family, being the same age as Tommy you both fell in despite usually hanging out with different groups of kids.
His parents were very strange, and not very well accepted among the poor working class. Something you didn't understand at the time. They spoke a different langue, and being desperate for any type of affection you would always sit with his Aunt and try to learn just for something to do. Polly wasn't that much older than them, but to you the whole world revolved around her.
His mother died, while your mother left. His father left, and yours never put down the bottle. Essentially you all relied on each other and Polly more than anyone else. The only person accepted into the cloud of anger that surrounded you was Tommy. He was hungry and ambitious, even though no one believed him when he said he would bring the family off these streets, you did. More than anything you wanted a spot next to him, away from the suffering.
There was something about it that made your heart thud in your chest, your eyes go wide as you listened to all of the things he would be willing to do for his family. Things like this did stuff to a young girl's heart and you were no exception. You started to feel comfortable, your time spent riding horses and playing down at the yard, helping with his brothers and sister.
Childhood never lasted very long, it was unavoidable that these times would come to an end. If not by your father shipping you off to boarding school, it was only a handful of years later that the war took the best boys off the streets of Birmingham to throw them into the trenches.
Before the train took you away from your found family that late August, Tommy placed a promise on your finger. He said that by the time you’d come home he’d have built a name for the two of you to share. If you were single he’d marry you. Simple as that, you missed how black and white things were at 15.
Through the war you sent money back to Polly to take care of John's kids, knowing it was just her and Ada handling the responsibilities of a family that size alone, made you long to come home.
You got letters from Tommy, and you tried your best to make it sound like you were doing fine. In reality, you weren’t seeing the war as he was. Only the broken bloody aftermath. Bleeding flesh and screams.
____________________________________________________________
Eventually, the war came to pass. With the men home, there were women needing midwives everywhere. This gave you an easy opportunity to transfer anywhere you wanted to for training. You didn't need to give it any thought though.
You returned by train, just like he had three months prior. Even if you had not directly touched the charred flesh of war, you could tell by his letters that he wasn't the same boy you left behind.
You weren't the same either. But that didn't mean you didn't want the same thing. Tommy was a warhorse, and you knew that being tied to him would mean a comfortable life, freedom, and it would essentially be like living with your best friend. You just prayed there was some of that friendship left in him.
Polly was the one to collect you bringing you right to the betting shop. You took the space in with the eyes of an adult for the first time. Listening to her prattle on about where you would sleep and the arrangements she’d made.
“You should keep renting your father’s house out. Too many ghosts there for a young lady. Better all around for you to stick close to us.” She gave you a warm smile and pulled you into a tight hug again.
“Who’s this then?” Arthur boomed.
“Burlesque den’s down the street there - love.” John quipped.
“John!” Polly snapped at him but you only laughed as he pulled you into a tight hug. You punched him in the arm and Arthur pulled you into a tight embrace.
Tommy entered the room and you felt your center of gravity shift. He came over and gave you a wordless hug.
“Family meeting needs to start.” He looked around the room and then walked into the back. You responded to Polly’s sour look with wide eyes and a smile.
Some things didn't change.
Tommy had more going on that he was willing to share. A detail that was glaring you in the face throughout the meeting making it challenging to pay attention. You’d never watched him lead the family before, but while everyone was ready to fall into place you could feel that Polly was also stuck on the secrets he was keeping.
“And how can I help?” You finally piped up preventing a fight from starting up.
“Just get settled in” He dismissed. You breathed a sigh in response as Polly lost her patience.
The rest of the evening you watched him observing you in his own way. You were crushed by how strange and twisted his presence felt. It was like looking at a painting of someone. His likeness was captured but not his essence. He wasn't that boy anymore, there was nothing you could do to get his lips to turn up. A heavy sense of dread hung around him only visible in the bags under his eyes.
You assumed he just needed time to adjust. Until the sharp edges of his newly found claws sunk into your plans. Everyone had magically gotten tired at the same time and left to go wash up for bed.
“I want you home. Esme can't be left unattended, and Polly’s been difficult lately.” He said coldly staring into the fire. The weight of his words hit you like lightning.
“I didn't come here to work in a betting shop and babysit.” You said coldly.
“What did you come here for?” His eyes finally met yours, slowly focusing on your face. “To be a part of this family and I -.” He finished before you could speak.
“This isn't a good look for you,” you whispered leaning into his face.
“Look -”
You didn't care what he had to say. You knew him well enough to know that he needed time to think about how he had spoken to you.
Your fists were balled tightly, nasty thoughts started to bite into your bones as you collapsed onto your bed. It distracted you from the pain in your chest. You knew that falling in line was your best shot and winning him over. You thought of the reward that was hanging in the balance, working as a nurse would not provide the life you wanted.
But being bossed around wasn't what you wanted. You and him were always a team, always equal. Eventually, you fell into a painful sleep, filled with the usual unescapable scenes playing over and over in your mind.
You had a choice to make and instead of putting on your best outfit as you had planned, you got dressed in your everyday clothes and headed downstairs to help with breakfast.
“Do you need something to wear? Thought you were going out job hunting?” Polly said putting her cigarette out on an ashtray you had carved for her ages ago. Tommy’s face appeared from behind the newspaper he was reading.
“Figured I’d settle in with you lot for a couple of days first.” Polly gave you a warm smile, while Tommy gave you a subtle nod. You resisted the urge to slap him, and started in on a piece of toast.
_______
Two days sitting next to Esme you knew exactly why Tommy didn't trust her. She was flighty and stubborn, her own eyes extremely distrusting. But she liked to laugh and drink, and you were very good at both of those things.
Tommy seemed to take little notice of your outfits or the jokes you made. You were invisible to him no matter how hard you tried. You showed off how you had reorganized the place, balanced the books, you even fixed the broken lock on the safe. An impossible task, but you did it. To him, it was as if you were telling him it was supposed to rain all week. Nothing.
It wasn't until his attention was occupied by a blonde barmaid that you realized this was about a lot more than just money. You felt like you had fallen off the side of a building. You made your way down the street to the darkness of your room before falling apart. All the boys you had turned down, all the dances and drinks. All of it because they were fine but they weren't Tommy.
But why you were caught up on Tommy suddenly had a lot more to do with the time you had shared than the money. You would trade all the wealth in the world to have your best friend back. Older, smarter, always looking out for you, keeping you safe, taking the consequences when plans failed. That’s what you wanted. Money provided comfort in the world, but he had provided you safety. Enough safety to feel at home in a broken family, in a nasty world.
You finally realized what you had actually been striving for, and felt your ambition turn into desperation and grief.
You hated your options, you hated the messy feelings attached to everything you did. Staying in the family was still the best option for physical safety and money. Watching him watch the rest of the world would have to be your place moving forward.
________
Cold hands pulled you from the darkness. Tommy was above you and you placed a hard slap across his face before processing what was happening.
“The fuck do you want” You hissed, heart hammering.
“What do you need?” You answered immediately.
“Need your help.” His eyes were wide and his face was flushed, despite everything the look on his face was enough to push all of it away. He was scared.
“We’ve been betrayed. Someone let slip - Kimber boys are on the way here”
“Eh, but Esme’s family will help with the beating?” You responded groggily as you tried to string together the limited information you had.
“Nah, Lee boys are still out at Worcester - fucking outnumbered. I don’t know who-”
“Barmaid.” You whispered. “She’s always there when business is on?” You thought over the last few days, she was never far when they were talking about important things.
“I kept a close eye on her - but fuck she could have overheard.” His hands slammed down on your dresser in frustration. Hope blossomed in the pit of your stomach, maybe that was the only reason he was interested in her…
“Look what are you hiding? Tell me and we can sort this.”
“Guns - lots of guns and then-”
“Wait the ones from the paper? You took them- Fucking hell” You realized the weight of what he’d done. You should have pushed him for answers the second you got there.
“Who’s Kimber?- Wait to hell with it rally up some street boys and use the guns?”
“Guns are gone”
“Fuck” You sighed. “Well, rally the boys up anyway - Small Health Rifles haven't lost a fight yet?” You said weakly. He looked at you for a long moment, and you felt panic wash over you. He was always steady, even more so now than before. But right now you could feel the weight of this mess crushing the both of you.
You got out of bed and helped get everyone together, digging up guns from every corner of the house. Ensuring that Ada and the baby were far away from what was going to happen. This time when he gave orders you stood next to him.
You sat with Polly in the kitchen, holding her hand and praying. Two shots and the whole thing was over.
There was only so much day drinking your stomach could handle and you felt yourself relax back at the empty house. Lighting a cigarette and looking out the kitchen window you took a deep breath.
You still had a decision to make. Tommy wouldn't stop here, and this would be a life of complicated and dangerous affairs. You knew that you should go - you heard footsteps and turned around to see him standing in the doorway.
“Thought I’d scared you off.” He breathed, relief washing over him.
“Not yet.” You said quietly.
“I- I’m sorry ‘bout everything. I thought you’d be coming home after all this had cleared up.” He rocked back on his heels looking like a ghost of the boy you once knew. You quickly did the mental math on how many glasses of whiskey he’d knocked back.
“It’s what I expected.” You shrugged at a loss of what to do or say. “You really don't want me to work then?”
He let out a long sigh. “Look if you can give me a year I’ll have it sorted.” He pleaded with you.
“What needs to be sorted? The money is alright and I’m good at what I do.”
“I know what you want and I’d don’t have it yet. But I’m working on it - work for a bit and then things will – ”
“Tommy” You cut him off.
“Just let me fucking explain.” He snapped and you grabbed his hand catching him off guard.
“You're what I wanted.” You whispered looking up into his blue eyes. He let out a breath unsure of what to do. “The whole time. I just wanted to be next to you.” You searched his eyes full of hope. Hope that he saw you as more than an easy arrangement, or a convenient friend. You knew that if this was just platonic -
Your mind stopped as his hand cupped the back of your neck.
“Just me?” He whispered and the hair on your arms stood up as a shiver ran through you. It was too much honesty, too much vulnerability. You gave a nod unable to speak.
“Not much of me left.” He kept up appearances but you felt the pain in his words.
“I could say the same about myself.” His eyes narrowed slightly at you as if trying to see what was out of place. “Guess we’ll have to get to know each other -” But he already knew you, pulling you into a tight grip. Placing his lips on yours. It was feverish and messy, you could feel the life inside him rise to the surface. His hands gripped more than your flesh desperate to grab hold of your heart.
You felt him pull away grabbing your jaw to keep you quiet. The answer to your question was answered by the sounds of Polly cursing and fumbling in the entryway. He nodded towards the stairs and patted you on the bottom. You quickly made your exit realizing he trying to let you handle this on your own terms, that and Polly would probably beat him for advancing on you drunk in the kitchen.
“Where did she sneak off to?” Polly said.
“She’s alright, just tired” He responded easily.
The family all piled in and you spent the night laughing and drinking. Tommy kept you close enough to drive you crazy, but not so much that it was obvious. You watched the victory of the day bring a smile to his face and you were determined to find a way to make everything work.
That night you got into bed and listened waiting for his bedroom door to close. Once he was in bed you would work up the courage to go and talk to him about everything.
The day took its toll on you and you drifted off.
His hand brushed your shoulder and you reached out to grab his neck.
“Just me, love.” He said softly. You relaxed and felt his fingers run through your messy hair.
“Someone hurt you?”
“Lots of things have hurt me.” You breathed relaxing against his touch.
“They have names?” his fingers slid along your cheek.
“All of them had names…. faces, minds, families -” You let your voice trail off. He started to realize what you were talking about. “None of them were you though or the boys.” You shifted onto your side and wrapped your body around him.
“This an invitation?” He mumbled and you wordlessly moved to create space for him to lay down on the small bed. You remembered nights laying next to him trading the fighting at home for the fighting at his house. Your house had the potential of direct conflict with your father, here there were three boys between you and the door.
Now your body was fighting a war between desperation and sleep.
“You don’t sleep well.” He stated.
“No, but neither do you.” You moved to cuddle his arm, placing your head on his shoulder.
“You didn't mention much in your letters?”
“Not a lot of good stuff to mention.” You mumbled trying to avoid the topic right before bed. In time maybe you would talk about it, but you weren't ready yet.
“Hmm. Any men?”
“Thomas Shelby” You mock scolded.
“What! Just want to know if I’ll be beating men off the doorstep every morning.” You knew this light mood was a product of copious amounts of alcohol, but it gave you hope that it was still tucked away in there somewhere.
“Hardly.” You laughed, then sobered up as you realized what he probably meant. “Not a virgin if that’s what you're asking.”
“I’m heartbroken. This whole time I’d saved myself. That silly copper ring didn’t mean much did it.” You lifted your head to look at him in disbelief. You were almost certain that he wasn't even a virgin when you were shipped off to school. “I’m joking, love.”
“Absolute man-whore. I never took the bloody thing off” You pulled the necklace with his ring out from under your nightgown. He fiddled with it watching the street light bounce off of it.
“If you're serious about this and you even have thoughts about sleeping around” You took a deep breath and pinched his jaw bringing his face to yours. “I’ll kill you myself. Your brothers won’t even avenge you.”
“Don’t I know it. Probably have to fight them for the shot.”
You tried to keep a straight face but couldn't hold it together seeing him so carefree.
“That’s it then” you sighed.
“Suppose so.”
“Anything else you want to know?” You questioned.
“Marry me?” He asked in a more serious tone.
“You can’t be serious?” There were a million things about you he would need to figure out. Nightmares, anxiety attacks - the list felt endless.
“Grand proposal and ring will have to wait if that’s what you want.” he interrupted your thoughts.
“It’s not that. Don’t really care about that stuff.” You were trying to figure out how to explain everything without ruining the mood.
“Hmm well, we could go to the Church on the weekend.”
“Tommy there is a lot to know about each other still -”
“I know you're the same girl, same principles, same crazy morals. The rest is irrelevant, have the rest of my life to uncover it.”
“I -”
“Look I’ll wait till you're ready. Just promise me we can give this a shot, eh?”
“Promise.” You leaned into him and pressed a kiss to his lips. He stopped your advances after a few moments.
“You're drunk.” He said trapping your arms to your chest with his embrace.
“Am not!” You said while realizing that he was drunk and that you’d best be stopped.
“Fine, I’m a little drunk. I’d like to remember this.” He placed another heated kiss to your lips before kissing your forehead.
“Love you.” You whispered.
“Love you too.” He responded easily.
Sleeping in his embrace was simple. You woke up twice only to feel his heavy arms pull you back down. Something you would enjoy getting used to.
___________________________________________________________________
Polly notices that she’s always watching Tommy, slightly differently than she used to. So she starts conveniently sending them out together for random things. Soon the whole family is on it trying to get them to spend more time together, hoping that they would get together. They are just happy to be alone so they don't notice at once. Arthur finally starts chewing into him about how he’s leading her on and how he should handle things.
She tells Polly later that night. She came in to bring Polly a mug of herbal tea, sitting on the edge of her bed she tells her.
Everyone was happy, and a wedding was planned.
You gave Polly your makeshift ring before the small ceremony. But when the time came you were surprised to find a new set of gold bands. He put a ring on your finger, Romani words you would have to ask about later pressing into your skin, diamond on top4f of your finger.
Hard times came and went, but even he would admit that the whole lot of it was much easier with you by his side.
#Tommy shelby#thomas shelby#Tommy shelby x reader#Thomas shelby x reader#Peaky blinders#Peaky blinders x reader#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders requests#Shelby family x reader#Shelby family imagine
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Just woke up from a dream where I was going back to my old home with few teenagers, one of them was a girl with long blond hair who was very nice. They lived there, had horses and so on.
I stood on the road, seeing only the backyard side of the house. It looked exactly the same otherwise but windows were bigger and there was 3 or 4 windows instead of 2. Now these teenagers started to escorts me back to my old neighbor, apparently I lived there now. I tried to make a shortcut through our stallion's old fence, but they had added wires on it so I could go under it. I had to return back to the house.
Now, suddenly, I was inside the house. I stood at the hallway and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This house was so different from the inside, so HUGE! Honestly, the house was it's old tiny self from the outside but inside it was like huge mansion!
One of the teenagers wanted to show me around but they went too fast so I, tears in my eyes, lifted my hands and said I want to go alone with my own space since this all is too much. The place had changed completely. As I walked, so slowly, while looking around, there was lots of rooms! Like in one huge room was a wall inside it, behind it being another room with a bed and stuff. Apparently it was young boy's room.
They had antique furniture in some rooms, too. No any room was too full but I don't remember seeing much stuff on the walls. Maybe some big old paintings there and there but that's all. I never went to upper levels even that they did exist. At some point I came in this huge and wide room with same kind of fruit shelves what we have in stores in Finland. They were full of different fruits!
Heard my mom's voice in my head, saying these people grow their own food and sell it as well. Like they had grapes, bananas, melons and so on. One female worker, in a suit, stopped to talk to me but soon someone else came to get her back to her work. I continued forward.
Eventually I met the owner. She was lovely Gipsy (or Indian) woman at her 50's or so. I started to tell her how much this place has change, in a good way, when she suddenly told me to come with her. She took me in her room, or her work room, where she had a box on a table, jewels, crystals, cards and so on. She was some kind of medium or fortune teller. She gave me a red date bag, apparently from their shop originally. I didn't hear her well but she told me to look at the bag while continuing to talk.
On the date bag appeared 4 letters in line beneath each other. I remember all of them were V. First one was V like Veri (blood). Beneath it was another V but next to it was a pic of an olive and beneath that was a pic of some herb. I gently took a hold of the bag and therefor it moved which erased all the letters away and the little wisdom which had appeared next to them on the right. I went nuts in this "Oh no, now I ruined my message!" mode!
I started to mumble cry to this woman who came next to me, on my right, and sealed me in half hug. I kept sobbing to her, telling me how I miss my old home, how my life lost it's base when Roni (our dog) died in 2007 - however I think I meant Verti since Verti started with V and his death took the base of my life. She listened to me a while, then saying I haven't ruin anything and something about the message coming to me again later etc. I felt her comfort with those words and through her hug, but still I panicked and cried.
I also felt how I couldn't breath well, during this whole scene actually - thanks to the mumbling sobbing. The feeling when your nose is blocked with snot and you still, just barely, can get some air through with deep but short inhales? I woke up because of this feeling, instantly turning to look at the clock. It was 15:44.
44 = All is well. No need to worry. (personal message and sign to me whenever I see it)
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mmm TMA jmart yes
Jon wouldn't be forgetting the look of fear and sadness on the kid's face and how that fear felt to consume for a while, is this really the same kind of thing that Martin had experienced? That utter understanding that no one loved you and the fear no one ever would?
Or
A kid comes in and gives a statement that gives a look into how Martin felt during his run-in with the Lonely. Martin needs a hug.
ao3 link here
Jon settled at his desk, flicking a few papers around and putting them aside so he wouldn't fiddle with them while recording. Sat across from him was a tall and lean child. They couldn't have been more than 14 or 15 and were doing anything other than focusing on what was in front of them, choosing to pick at the skin of their fingertips and chipping their own nail polish.
The kid, Jayden as the eye supplied him, was here to give a statement on their interaction with the lonely. The phone call to set up the appointment mentioned something along the lines of everyone disappearing while they were at school. The idea that someone so young could have felt so isolated caused a slight hint of ‘uncomfortable’ for the Archivist but he pressed on starting the recording with a sigh.
“Statement of Jayden Hirst, regarding their school being suddenly empty in the middle of the day. Statement taken live from subject, date twenty-first of January twenty seventeen. Statement begins.”
Jayden looked uncomfortable for a moment, taking a deep breath and moving their hands to tap lightly against the table before starting
“It was just last week, I hadn't really been looking forward to school that day as I don't really have many friends to make it any fun but the friends I did have were pretty upset with me for some reason or another. It was around 12:30, the day had gone as normal but I needed a time out to calm down, the classroom gets pretty loud sometimes and the bathroom is much quieter and cooler. I put my hand up and asked my teacher if i could leave and she handed me a hall pass like normal and I left the room.
What wasn't normal was that the hallway was, foggy? As soon as the door shut behind me it went dead silent, so quiet I could hear the blood in my ears. Now I wanted quiet, yeah, but also the bathroom has some pretty good white noise from the fans and that is so much better than hearing your own blood pumping.
I kept going though, I'm not really sure why? The bathroom wasn't far but the fog was a bit too cold for comfort and there was a pretty large amount of panic building due to the eerie-ness of everything. The bathroom opened and it was even foggier than outside, it didn't roll out as I opened the door though, just stayed there like a wall. It felt better than the empty corridors and it was much more familiar anyway so I went in. The panic went away.
It was so calm in there? Maybe calm isn't the right word. It was just a void. All the panic from the classroom, from my friends being mad at me and from the fog it just all went away. I couldn't even see myself in the mirror. It was so dense there. Eventually, I kind of slid down the wall and sat on the floor revelling in it. I realised I didn't need my friends. They were just making me upset and not having them, well, I wouldn't be sad over them being mad at me if I never spoke to them in the first place. You know?
I stayed there for a while. In the fog. I don't know how long really but at some point, I started crying. Didn't even notice it, only did because the air was cold and the tears felt freezing on my face. Maybe it was a few hours but I realised I need to go back to class or home or somewhere other than the filthy bathroom floor.
No one else ever walked in, there was never any noise outside, and the hallway was still filled with this wet fog, maybe more than before. I headed back to my classroom and there was no one there. My seat was still warm but the room was filled with vapour that didn't move even as a breeze passed through.
As I was sitting, I went back to thinking about my friends, how much I loved them and how much they had helped me when we weren't fighting. But the fog grew thicker as I realised that maybe they never cared. And again when I realised that not even my family really cared. I didn't have anyone that would miss me or even hold me when I cried, they were lying to me and they hated me and I was never anything to them.”
Jon blinked owlishly as Jayden started to breathe heavier and heavier, their hands stopping their rhythmic tapping to pull at the strings of their hoodie and hug their body. If Jon paid enough attention he would see the same fog Jayden was describing start to roll off their shoulders and filter through the floorboards. But Jayden carried on through their statement, they had to, they were compelled.
“I felt alone then, the fog in the classroom, it was so thick. I couldn't even see my hands, the light. The light was starting to get darker and I couldn't- I couldn't breathe. It all felt so consuming and empty at the same time. But then my phone went off.
I forgot I even had it on me in the first place but I had received a message from an online friend. It was silly, something about them having fallen over outside their college and ruined their jeans but the shape of it was rather phallic. I don't know how that broke whatever was happening to me but it did. The fog rolled away and I was back in the bathroom, sitting on the floor in the end stall with my phone cradled in my hands.
It hadn't even been 5 minutes but I felt exhausted. I headed back to my class and slept the rest of the lesson. Everything was normal after that. I keep dreaming of those foggy hallways, I still haven't spoken to my friends, it feels wrong to do it.”
Jayden took a long breath at finishing their statement, they had tear marks staining their cheeks but the shaking had somewhat subsided and they fiddled with stickers on the back of their phone. Jon reached over and clicked the recorder off and slid it from the centre of the table.
“Well done, that’s all I need. You can stop by the reception and get a hot drink if you need the time to recover.” Jayden took a breath, making eye contact for the first time before muttering a ‘thank-you’ and sliding the chair back. Jon sat for a second letting the statement flit through his mind, the expression on this kid's face and the way that kid was so overwhelmed with fear. Jon didn't understand why it was getting to him so much, why the fear he saw scared him.
Martin went through that. Martin felt like that. The same clouds of fog had enveloped someone he truly cared for and he wasn't there to help. He wasn't even a text away. As if thinking of him summoned him there was a faint knock on the archive door.
Jon startled and shouted a quick ‘come in’ to reveal Martin, holding two cups of tea one barely sloshing over the edge.
“You look stressed, I saw that kid come in and knew you were in for a weird one so I came prepared. Tea?” It was a quiet invitation but something Jon appreciated endlessly, showing that with a slight nod and standing to meet Martin as he placed the mugs on the table.
“Are you alright? Would you like to tal-” Martin was cut off by Jon slipping his hands around his waist and tucking his head into Martin's shoulder.
Martin smelt of old paper and wood polish, a little of whatever deodorant he put on that morning. His jumper was this dark green that was well worn and covered in little bobbles that made it softer than it would've been new. Most importantly however was how Martin wrapped his arms around Jon’s shoulders and pulled him ever further into his chest while placing his chin into Jon’s hair.
Martin let out a small hum before pressing a kiss to Jon’s head and patting his back. Sure some days he'd feel the questions about the man's feelings for him start to bubble up, but it was moments like this that kept the cold fog out of his head. Kept him warm and clear.
After a minute or two Jon let go and pulled a seat around next to his, patting it for Martin to sit next to him. They drank their teas silently, Jon’s knee pressed into Martin's thigh, small points of contact, anchoring both of them in the present.
#jmart fic#jmart#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#statement#i write this so hard i black out for just over an hour and came out with this
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warren’s dragonslayer verse info ( mentions of childhood trauma & child soldiers )
at age twelve, warren ran away from home. he'd fought with his mother & said some terrible things he didn't mean & he'd planned on going back the next day but the longer he thought about it, he didn’t really know how. a few days on the street pass before he quite literally ran into a man from a group of dragonslayers. he said his name was jacob & he was nice, kind even. he asked warren what he was running from so warren told him the truth. then as a way to to cheer him up, "hey buddy do you wanna hear a story?" he told warren all this stuff about how they were secret heros that slayed dragons to keep humans safe. at the time warren didn’t think he was telling the truth, but it was fun to hear him talk. so after buying him a meal & listening to his story, eventually jacob took pity on him, & offered him a place with them. they were nice to him there, so he stayed. after all he had no where else to go.
at this point he didn’t have any powers showing, it still felt like this far away thing & it worried him that he might never develop any at all. but once he got his powers, once they found out what he was capable of, they wanted to make extra sure he didn't run off because hey the kid might actually be useful. he couldn’t control any of it very well, but they helped him. they taught him not only control, but how to become stronger, how to push his powers past their limits until he could do even more with them.
& though he’s got his powers now, but he's still so young & impressionable. they told him he was important so he believed it. he really bought into the whole thing, he trusted them at their word when they told him dragons were monsters, that they weren’t as intelligent or as benevolent as stories made them out to be. so when he finally had full control of his fire, he went with them at the age of 15 & helped kill his first dragon. he felt sick after, hell even during. he’d been warned a head of time, shown pictures & told what to expect. but the carnage? he could never have really been prepared for that. he had nightmares for weeks after, reliving the gutted roar she’d made when she fell & knowing he’d been a part of that, no matter how monstrous these creatures might be, he didn’t like having to kill anything, anyone.
as time went on & he got more used to the sounds & sights that came with this job, he still didn't relish in killing them like some of the others but he wasn't as on the fence & believed it was important for humanity because that's what he'd been taught.
so years later, when k kept getting away despite the organisations best efforts, warren was one of the people in question trying to track him down. & after hearing about those who went after him & got taken out. warren knew he’d stand the best chance if it game down to a fight 1 on 1 so he volunteered, but some small part of him offered because he wants to observe k. he's never really seen dragons in human form for himself, just hearing about it or seeing it in pictures. & so long as warren didn’t do anything stupid to expose himself, there’s no way for k to know who he was or risk fighting without warren himself being the instigator.
he does his job and finds him but k seems... pretty normal. from what he can tell from observing from afar. so he talks to him, interacts like any normal person would. & fact is, k feels like a breathe of fresh air, its so different from what he's used to for interactions from the group that had become his family. because hey if k isn't causing problems here, maybe they should leave him be. it didn’t seem like he’d do anything unprovoked so maybe those he’d killed before for coming after him, were only because it came down to it’s him or them. if that happened happened, maybe he’d never have killed anyone in the first place.
& by this point in time, warren's getting a little tired of it. he’s been with them for over a decade, he's killed enough & yet humanity seems like nothing has really changed. it makes him feel like all of that was for nothing, that it was really was all just needless killing. he’s become so numb to the killing that it doesn’t bother him like it used to, but faced with this realisation it feels like his entire life has been wasted & he doesn’t know who’s to blame for that.
so after a bit of time, observing & interacting with k, he decides that he doesn’t want to kill him. he doesn’t want anyone else to kill him either but his power doesn’t expand past his own body. all he can do is not tell them about k, & make the decision to leave on his own.
he packs a small bag ( more for show than it was because it held nothing of use. the only thing he cared about bringing with him was the picture of his first day with them that was tucked away in his pants pocket ). & they thought he was joking. they never would have imagined that this kid, the boy they raised like their own was trying to leave them out of nowhere. once they clue in that he’s being series, it turns into a one sided yelling match where there’s a dozen men yelling & hollering in warren’s direction. they’re angry, but they’re hurt too.
& once they get past the anger of their connection to him, they realise that more than loosing a friend, they’d be losing their weapon. their one edge they have against dragons. he was to valuable, too rare for them to let him just walk out. & if their words couldn’t get through to him, force was their ONLY option. they start small, hand to hand & no weapons but he was too well trained, & much stronger than any of them. so they escalate. batons, knives, & it works a bit better. he can block the batons but it hurts him more than fists. & when he’s being attacked by that many people he was bound to get slashed. it was all pretty superficial but FUCK did it hurt ! but even that wasn’t enough, he was too fast & he’d managed to get himself a couple blades himself, & that made him a little harder to get at. finally someone got him in his side, right bellow his ribs. it was a small blade so it didn’t manage to do any major damage ( which he’s pretty sure was the intention ).
but that stab? it makes him angry. his eyes light up & when his opponents notice they all back away. one shake of his arms & they ignite, unfortunately burning away his sleeves but hey its a small price to pay. he shoots fireballs at the group, then while they’re resetting, he walks along some boxes of supplies, leaving a trail of fire from his touch that soon ignore them in full. he hears the click of a gun & rushes to step behind the burning boxes, reassessing his options. he could handle a lot but being gunned down? he wasn’t sure if he was capable of that.
still, what options did he have? if he waved the metaphorical white flag sure the fight would end but they weren’t going to trust him to walk out when they weren’t sure he’d come back. it was either that or go out in blazing glory which had always been more his speed anyway.
so he lets out a loud yell & quite literally burst into flames. he walks out from behind the cargo, his entire body enveloped in fire. he burned as hot as he possible could, knowing he couldn’t keep it up for long. & they just kept releasing rounds in his direction. it hurt. he was still getting hit but the bullets didn’t seem to pierce his skin. instead he looks down at his feet to see bullets melting down onto the floor. he could still feel the bullets hit him but his fire burned so hot it softened the bullets so much that the worse they’d do was leave a bruise, as if they’d been using a paintball gun instead of a real one.
he starts lobbing fireballs in every direction, forcing the men around him to either allow themselves to be hit & risk being burned alive, or take cover & stop trying to gun warren down. & it worked. he could hear pained yelling from the men he’d hit, & even more yelling from the worried men behind them as they attempted to figure out what to do. after all what options did they have left at their disposal? they could clean up after bullets & a dead body or two, but weapons any larger would cause more damage to their base than was worth. eventually he hears jacob himself calling out to him. warren reduces his flames just enough to stop them from impacting his vision & jacob did all the things one would expect. he asked if there was really no way to stop him. if he no longer cared about the rest of them, cause aside. if he really wanted to walk away from his family. & all warren could do was say yes.
after that he books it out of there, clothes more or less burned away, his body badly cut & bruised, a hand holding his side where the deepest stab had been. once off the base he stops by a bag he’d stashed away where no one knew, ripped a shirt to tie around his side to stem the bleeding & donned what else he had. the bag didn’t have much else besides an outfit or two. no ids, just a good bit of cash.
& he made his way to k, the only person he felt like he could trust but he was seriously not looking forward to the conversation that would no doubt ensue. but his options were either go to k & reveal the truth knowing he’d risk k killing him on the spot, or he could head back from where he came from & deal with the who knows how many consequences. frankly, neither option looked good but he’d rather be killed by k than EVER turn back. not to say he doesn’t feel pained at the thought of loosing what essentially really was his family. almost half his life had been with this group & knowing he was leaving that behind, in all honesty... it hurt.
when he finally gets to k he’s running on fumes. blood had soaked through both shirts, his bruises had begun to show in full colour & burning that much energy left him so tired he felt like he could pass out at any time. but he owed k an explanation, so that’s what he gives.
#childhood trauma //#child soldier //#queue.#w. peace. v. 4 — what matters most is how well you walk through the fire
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(Tajima and Butsuma are both 15-13 years old.)
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Exterior POV:
Noon hour had just been announced, Butsuma Senju was a little nervous waiting for someone on the other side of the sideboard. he had asked Tajima uchiha a younger boy to join him. He wanted to invite the youngest to the movies and potentially ask him out on the same occasion. The younger one arrived 5 minutes late, and it was the longest Butsuma has ever had.
Tajima: I'm here.
Butsuma: Hi, you're late.
Tajima: But I'm here.
Butsuma: whatever.
It's Silent between them. The two young men looked at it for long minutes without saying anything.
Tajima: why did you ask me to come?
butsuma: I wanted to know, in the possibility that you accept what I am about to ask you, if I do it eventually. He said playing with his fingers.
Tajima: what?
Butsuma: Shut up! I stress... Too much.
Tajima: don't be nerdy, tell me.
butsuma: 1 I'm not a nerd, 2 fuck you. And of 3 do you want to start a romantic relationship with me!?
Tajima: Yeah, that tells me. He says laughing. I had always hoped to be asked out, but you broke a record with your request.
butsuma: my request was said appropriately and clearly. That way no confusion so stop kidding you dude.
Tajima: Sinan, what else did you want motherfucker.
Butsuma: a date at the cinema With me.
tajima: since we're dating i can't really refuse. It would be stupid if I told you no.
Butsuma: I'll expect you at the end of class.
Tajima: if it makes you happy.
Butsuma: Nah, it's politeness.
Tajima: Yeah, thank you then.
the two men separated for the start of the school year. Tajima was more nervous than he looked, butsuma had taken classes a distraction was not an option. When the last class announced its end the two men withdrew at full speed from their receptive class. the two boys found themselves in front of the exit door of the school.
Butsuma: Not late this time.
Tajima: I can always come back later.
Butsuma: nah, let's move on.
During the journey, the two young boys did what they knew how to do best. say nothing at all before arriving at the cinema. Tajima and butsuma arrived at the cinema, they chose an action movie because it seemed to be the least boring. Butsuma had paid for both of them as well as the food. They have found a very good place.
Tajima: popcorn?
butsuma: no thank you.
Tajima: actually don't give a shit.
Butsuma: no need to moan.
The two men argue throughout the film. Butsuma and Tajima had even started bickering when leaving the session and even when the oldest brought the youngest home.
tajima: your interest invited me again.
Butsuma: We'll see, not if you're still such an asshole.
Tajima: Yeah, after you wanted to go out with an asshole.
Butsuma: Go home before I regret.
Tajima: yes, yes see you tomorrow.
Butsuma: Hn. he loves this bastard more and more.
End.
#oneshot#Tajima#tajima x butsuma#butsuma x tajima#butsuma#Butsuma senju#tajima uchiha#Butsutaji#Tajibutsu#Yaoi naruto
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5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 13 - 15 for Skaar, Wolfy, Astrid, TA, Kazan, Ai'dan , choose whoever you want for each !
5. Guilty pleasures
Cheating at cards. Especially with other cheaters who are very aware that nobody's playing fair, but that won't stop him from doing it even with people who play fair. He could not to. Often does, in fact. It's just more fun to him to cheat than to respect the rules.
Other than that, I don't think he's got many. A good bottle of Arak will never be refused, but is it a guilty pleasure? Not really.
6. Their vices (physical or emotional)
Sugar.
She’s addicted to sugar, honestly. It’s her stress-relief drug of choice and the reason why she cooks as often as she does. It’s pretty rare to see her without anything sugary on hand, unless of course someone stole it because she had the innocence to believe she could leave cookies in the kitchen without them being devoured by ungrateful adventurers.
7. Their tickle spots
His belly, mostly. The rest of him, not so much, but this part if more sensitive. Not that many would know, unless they've had to patch him up and noticed his attempt at not letting it show.
8. Bad memories/experiences
The Calamity. He was very young at the time. Only 5. But he remembers quite a lot of what happened. The sky that changed, the moon growing closer and bigger, the waves, the monsters... It didn't fully registered at the time for him of course and his parents did everything to protect him, but even to this day there are certain things he'll be wary off because he unconsciously associate them with the Calamity.
The time he almost drowned, when he was 13 and wanting to explore the ocean not far from home. He wasn't careful enough and got caught in a rip current. Got saved, fortunately, and learned to prepare his "expeditions" better after that but still has occasional nightmares.
13. What gets them flustered
Taking care of him when he’s in a bad shape, especially if it doesn’t come from Edith or his family (because that’s what family do so from them, he’d expect it). Basically just anything that’d make him realize someone care about him, not just about him being useful.
Don’t expect him to be sweet about it though xD
15. What it takes to make them cry
A lot.
But I would stay relief more than sadness (which he tends to express through anger rather than tears). Stuff like realizing that he won in the end (post EW), that even when though what he had put in place to make sure his self wouldn’t disappear eventually failed, he did remain himself.
And then, realizing that he is stuck where he is now for what appears to be all eternity unless he finds a way to get back to the Source.
But that was the first time he cried in a very, very long time.
Thanks for the ask, Mioup!
#The More You Know#answered; Skaar#answered; A'idan#answered; Astrid#answered; Wolfe#answered; Kazan#answered; The Advocate
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Last week we went to the Missouri Botanical Garden (MOBOT) as part of our summer vacation. Technically we were in St. Louis for a wedding, but my sister had free tickets to the garden through her work, so we decided to take a few days and do all the fun St. Louis things.
Now, MOBOT has been under construction for a while for a new visitor’s center. As luck would have it, the day we were there, the Garden Members were having an exclusive preview of said new visitor’s center. My family (+sister’s roommate that tagged along) are not members, so we figured we’d see it some other time.
MOBOT is famous specifically for it’s massive tropical greenhouse, the Climatron. It looks a little bit like THIS:
And is home to over 400 varieties of plant life, according to Wikipedia. It’s fantastic and a fun place to walk through (and air-conditioned!) and I highly recommend it. This is also where we met Diane.
Diane, if I remember correctly, has volunteered at the Botanical Garden for 15 years. She was walking through the Climatron and stopped to chat with us near the end, when my sister and her roommate were throwing water bottles at us and telling us to hydrate. Diane asked if we’d enjoyed our visit thus far (Yes) have we been here before (Yes) and most importantly, did we see the pitcher plants in the middle of the Climatron? (Absolutely)
At this point, I’m vibrating in hyperfixation. I FUCKING love pitcher plants, dudes. Yes! I saw them! I know so much about them! They are my beloveds! Diane asks me if there are pitcher plants that are bigger than the Climatron’s. I practically vibrate out of my skin with a “Yes! Some can even catch small mammals and reptiles!” I didn’t even get to mention the Bats! Diane is thoroughly impressed with me regardless! She would hire me on the spot if she had that authority, and tells me as much. She continues asking questions about pitcher plants. I continue answering them. Diane continually says she wants me to work at MOBOT. I think it would be a dream, personally.
We eventually part ways with Diane, and head out to the Home Gardening Center. In retrospect I maybe should have asked about keeping my pumpkins safe from pests (squash bugs FUCK OFF challenge). We wander the demonstration gardens for a bit before realizing among their veggies that we’re all starving. You cannot eat the veggies out of the MOBOT veggie garden, because if everyone with vaguely sticky fingers did there would be no vegetables to display, and that defeats the purpose.
Luckily, MOBOT has a tram system, and there’s a stop right outside our current location. Since they do have to pay their workers, however, the tram is five bucks per person if you’re not a member. It is what it is. We’re resigned to shell out thirty bucks (hopefully to replace the dead cobra lily in one of the nearby flower beds, may it rest in pepperonis) when someone hollers at us from the tram. It’s Diane! She remembers us!
Diane, in addition to being a volunteer, is a member. And members, she points out to the tram driver, can bring five non-members onto the tram free of charge. Our group is six. The tram driver, feeling the spirit of giving, lets our sixth person on under her own membership. Diane asks where we’re heading as the tram starts moving. We explain that we’re looking to get food, and also could we leave the garden and come back? Is that allowed? Diane confirms that’s allowed, BUT she has a better idea.
The tram takes us around the long way, past the Japanese Garden, Henry Shaw’s house, and one of the botanical museums. Somewhere in there I tell the story of Persephone, as her statue resides along this route, and I have a cat named after her. We make it back as close to the front as is possible by tram, and Diane marches us to the old visitor’s center. It is connected to the new one by a single door, guarded by a nice young woman. Diane tells her that we’re with her, and we’re all going into the new visitor’s center. The young woman is fairly certain this is breaking some rules. Diane tells her it’s fine.
The new visitor’s center is gorgeous, y’all. We all follow Diane down to the snack bar for sandwiches (we were planning to eat a big dinner, so we didn’t need a whole lot). She makes sure we don’t need a membership to actually buy the food. Once that’s all settled, she tells me she’ll see me soon (presumably as a staff member) and promptly vanishes into the garden, never to be seen again by us.
There’s good in this world, guys. There always has been. And sometimes it’s in the botanical garden, and it’s curious about pitcher plants.
#mobot if you see this no you didn’t#but also love what you’ve done with the place 🥺👉👈#Diane is a fake name just so we’re clear#i would love to work at the botanical garden but my degree is in graphic design so you can see where I might have a problem with qualifying#here. pitcher plant facts: the two major kinds are tropical Nepenthes and North American Sarracenias (+cobra lilies on the west coast)#they’re bog plants!! reach into your local bog and find a friend and boy!#some get big enough to trap small mammals and reptiles! tasty#there’s a kind of Nepenthes that has a relationship with local bats! they sleep in the pitchers. cozy!
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Moving out of the house for the first time is a weird part of a person's life. For some, it can't come soon enough and they leave at 18 or even before. Some are happy to continue with their parents for as long as possible. But for me and others, it's a creeping emotion that starts out as a thought or a want and then grows like a fungus in the back of your head.
When I first moved in with my father and stepmom for college I was grateful and couldn't understand why others would pay so much to leave or walk away at 18 without dangerous or mentally taxing circumstances. Then overtime being above 18/19/20 in the same house with the same rules and emotions starts to grate on your nerves.
" Daughter we worry" "Daughter you never leave or speak enough" "Daughter you're never home we never see you" "Daughter we worry " at first I felt bad. I was the problem I was the one who needed to try harder to fit into the mold my parents built for me when I was young. That mold that I was a kid I needed to be looked after that I NEEDED to be under the thumb and speak and leave and live all under the same rules of a 15-year-old that was never really there to begin with.
"Daughter you need more friends" "Daughter don't be like your brother" "Daughter you act too much like your sister(s)" "Daughter you're acting so selfishly lately" Eventually the mold breaks and the fungus takes hold. I want to move out I don't need to be here anymore. But if you're like me and one of your sisters has already left and never looked back it seems even harder to work up the courage to tell them "I am ready to go now". Even when they speak of you leaving so often "Daughter when you move take this" "Daughter when you leave you should have these" "Daughter all the things in your room are yours take them please".
But in their minds I have only just arrived for college why on earth would I need to move out any time soon? In their minds, I am the golden child who still listens and does not need to leave weekly or live states away for their job. I can stay and run errands, clean house, and listen to their fears and worries about my siblings with ease and understanding.
I want to leave. I can live on my own. Come hell or high water I will make ends meet and if I tumble down a hill and can't afford to down the line I am not afraid to tell my parents I have messed up and need a place to stay. The problem is and will always be taking the jump to speak my mind to start the next adventure.
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Examining Youth Culture: John Bender
If you were to ask me how my teenage years have gone to this point, you would get a very short answer: a rollercoaster. Nine times out of ten, any teenager would give you an answer somewhat similar to this. Throughout the long history of cinema, coming-of-age movies have always given a near accurate portrayal of life through the eyes of teenagers. This is readily apparent when viewing John Hughes’ The Breakfast Club, and really paying close attention to the characters within. At the start of the movie, a monologue is presented to the audience, in which five different types of teens are mentioned. The letter, written and narrated by Brian Johnson, states that “You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal.” (00h:02m:45s-00h:03m:10s) While all five of these traits play a major part in the movie, one in particular stood out to me the entire time. That being the “criminal”, John Bender.
In a way, every young man has a little bit of John Benderish attitude within them. Every teen’s overall goal is to somehow feel better about themselves in any way possible. Whether it be through engaging in risky behaviors, belittling their peers, or standing up to figures of authority, teenagers will do whatever is necessary to make themselves who they want to be. John Bender displays all of these to a tee. Early in the movie, we see him arriving at detention on his own, unlike everyone else who gets a ride from their parents. He then proceeds to kick Brian out of his seat without even saying a word, showing that just because of his demeanor, he is intimidating. (00h:04m:30s-00h:05m:40s) He is a free man, and doesn’t care what the people around him feel because he is achieving his own satisfaction. For the entire first quarter of the film, this attitude doesn’t change. Bender is brash, arrogant, obnoxious and belittling to everyone around him, students and faculty alike. He doesn’t care all that much about having to be in detention, and knows that he can do whatever he feels because nothing is going to change. He will still be there for the whole day, and he will keep finding ways to come back every weekend because it is the one place he feels free. This is further elaborated on later on, when he gives the other students a look into his life at home. In a mockery of a conversation between his parents, Bender puts on display just how cruel his father is to he and his mother, which heavily influences his attitude towards those around him. He then goes on an aggressive tirade showing his frustration towards the world. (00h:41m:15s-00h:43m:00s)
Throughout the story, John Bender brings three themes of teenage years into perspective. He very much shows the desire for freedom and the desire for attention, and it is his obnoxious, talkative attitude that kicks the third theme into gear, which is unity among teens. While all teens are for the most part anxious around their peers, and most of the time belong to different cliques, eventually they will all find commonalities amongst themselves and come together as one. This starts to happen just past halfway through the movie, and continues all the way through to the end. The five students smoke, listen to music, and talk about their lives outside of school and by the end of the film, they all seem to become friends, if only for the day. This all happens because of Bender’s willingness to be talkative even though Vernon tells them not to be. We are once again shown that Bender is free and doesn’t care about what others think, and it’s because of him that the students find common ground within their lives. I consider this to be very accurate to modern day teenage society, as I just recently experienced this. On my senior class trip this past spring, it seemed as though everybody was friends with each other. This continued all the way through to graduation, and I find it interesting that even the most different of people could get along so easily after mostly keeping to our own groups for the past four years. This experience, combined with the viewing of this movie has made me realize that social status is simply a made up thing, and doesn’t actually matter at all in life.
The soundtrack of The Breakfast Club helps the audience to get a greater look into the mind of John Bender. At a few points in the movie, songs will play that are relevant to the situation that is happening at that point. For example, when Bender has his breakdown when thinking about his parents mentioned earlier, a hardcore, metal-esque song plays in the background, but it almost drowns out his voice. This is used to show how Bender feels towards his father’s abusiveness, and how it shapes him as a person. It also shows how although he tries to fight it, his father’s abusive nature always prevails in his mind. A soundtrack can be used in this way to show the true feelings a character is experiencing.
While every movie has a soundtrack, some of the most interesting ones are those of coming-of-age movies. They always seem to fully convey the experience of living life as a teenager. In the way that every movie has its own soundtrack, I believe that everyone’s personal life has one too. For this post, I have created a soundtrack that I believe sums up the teenage years, and I have included songs that are relevant to the time period that John Bender grew up. It includes mostly songs from the 1980s, so they are relevant to the timeline of the movie.
“Fight For Your Right” - Beastie Boys
This song is a representation of the typical rebellious nature of teens. At some point, every teenager deals with frustration caused by their parents, and they have a desire to stand up to authority and have fun. I can imagine this song going through Bender’s head whenever he antagonizes Richard Vernon.
“Cum on Feel the Noize” - Quiet Riot
This song accurately describes the wild nature of teens and how they will do things out of their comfort zone in order to enjoy life. This song relates to Bender because he fully embodies the rebellious and wild aspect of teen life.
“New Magic Wand” - Tyler, The Creator
This song is about his love interest for someone that is already in a relationship, and what is going through his head when thinking about them. The beat of this song is very overwhelming and heavy, and somewhat relates to the stress going on in a teen’s head. This can relate to Bender because his head is full of stress mostly caused by his father.
“Working for the Weekend” - Loverboy
This song relates to me heavily because every weekend I work both days, leaving me little time to accomplish anything else. On many weekends, my friends would have parties that I would not be able to get to until I was done at my job. This also relates to Bender because instead of being off doing other things, he spends his weekends at the school in detention.
“Kickstart My Heart” - Motley Crue
This song is yet another nod to the rebellious nature of not only teens, but everyone as a whole. As I said earlier, everyone has a bit of John Bender within them, and for many it comes out during the teenage years.
“I Wanna Rock” - Twisted Sister
The music video for this song is very applicable to The Breakfast Club, with a group of students revolting against their teacher when he yells at them for having fun. Bender acts this way towards Vernon numerous times throughout the film, and it accurately describes how most teens act in the presence of authority.
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“Children Of The Sea” - Black Sabbath
This song starts out soft, but quickly gets very intense, which shows how a teen can have changes in their mood when told they can or cannot do something. When the adults around you don’t believe in you, it can create aggression, which is the case for Bender.
“Under the Bridge” - Red Hot Chili Peppers
This song shows the softer side of a teenager’s life. While teens are in many ways wild and chaotic, they can also feel hopeless and depressed at times. This is very applicable to not only Bender, but to myself as well.
“Smokin’ In The Boys Room” - Motley Crue
This song expresses frustration towards school and finding ways to look cool and relieve stress. Bender is shown to possess marijuana in his locker, so I can imagine him listening to this song as he escapes reality for a bit.
“We’re Not Gonna Take It” - Twisted Sister
Once again, Twisted Sister does a great job of encapsulating a teen’s frustration with figures of authority. In this instance, the music video shows a kid being harassed by his father for the way he looks and the music he listens to. The kid fights back at the father, and Bender often fights back to his father when they argue as well.
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Works Cited
Hughes, John, et al. The Breakfast Club. Universal Pictures, 1985.
“Twisted Sister - We're Not Gonna Take it (Extended Version) (Official Music Video)”, Youtube, uploaded by Twisted Sister, 3 Aug. 2010 https://youtu.be/V9AbeALNVkk
“Twisted Sister - I Wanna Rock (Official Music Video)”, Youtube, uploaded by Twisted Sister, 3 Aug. 2010 https://youtu.be/SRwrg0db_zY
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CHARACTER INFORMATION
face claim: Alisha Boe
full name: Lydia Emmanuelle Beck
nickname(s): Lyd, Lyds
pronouns & gender: she/her, cis woman
sexuality: bisexual
birth date: July 2nd, 1999
birth place: Detroit, Michigan
time in town: 2 years
housing: Historical Downtown
occupation: mechanic at a local garage in town
family: Older brother Damien born in 1994
personality: Lydia is a bit rough around the edges but has a sweet spot in her heart if you take the time to really get to know her. She has a bad history of being burned by others, which can make her apprehensive to trust new people that come into her life.
BACKGROUND / BIO
Trigger warnings: Loss of a parent, cancer.
Lydia Emmanuelle Beck was the second child born to Omar and Harriett Beck. The first was her older brother Damien, who was five years older than her, born in 1994. By the time Lydia was three, her mother Harriett passed away after a year-long battle with breast cancer. It was a devastating loss for the entire family, especially their father who began to struggle with adjusting to a single-income household. Omar worked as a mechanic at a local garage in town, which meant whenever the kids weren’t in school they could usually be found running around the shop somewhere. Lydia took an interest in cars from a young age, thanks to her father. She followed him around like a shadow and asked millions of questions until she understood everything. Omar began feeling the loneliness sink in after losing his wife and eventually began dating again. By the time Lydia was 15, her father began seeing a woman named Cheryl. There wasn’t anything wrong with Cheryl but Lydia was an angsty teen who was missing her mom and refused to accept her. Since her older brother, who was 20 at the time, was living in a place of his own she moved in with him so she could distance herself from her father and his new relationship. Living with her brother granted her more freedom than she was used to at home, but it also meant she had to get a job in order to contribute with rent, groceries, and other necessities. Luckily a friend of her brother’s owned a garage of his own and offered her a job in the office answering phones and scheduling appointments. Even though she was itching to get her hands dirty as a mechanic, she was grateful for the opportunity nonetheless. By the time she was 17, she had proven herself enough to be promoted to the role of a mechanic. She was eager to jump in and begin learning even more, primarily all things customization. Soon after she took an interest in racing, thanks to her boyfriend at the time. He was the one who got word of a street race happening one Friday night with a cash price of $10,000. Desperate for the money, Lydia got behind the wheel and sped to victory. The only problem was, that the cops were waiting near the finish line and soon after arrested her. She spent a few miserable weeks in jail before her brother gathered enough money to bail her out. With only a year and a half left of high school to finish before graduation, Lydia decided to move to Portland, Maine to live with her aunt (dad’s sister) and cousin. It was the perfect fresh start for her. No one besides her family members knew about her past. It allowed her to blossom into a whole new person. Lydia soon fell in with some of the popular crowd and even tried out for a position on the cheerleading squad. It had never been something she had been interested in before, but she enjoyed the attention that came with it. She had a built-in group of friends on the cheer squad and a line of football players wanting the chance at a date with her. By the time her senior year rolled around, Lydia felt like she was on top of the world. Not only was she dating the quarterback of the football team, but she won the title of Homecoming queen as well. All seemed perfect in her world until one day when her classmates began whispering behind her back. Someone had discovered the secrets of her past by printing out her mugshot and plastering it all over the school. Rumors and exaggerations began to swirl around about her bad reputation, causing her friends to turn their backs on her and her quarterback boyfriend to dump her. She did her best to keep her head down and fly under the radar until graduation. Once she graduated high school she went off to a small college campus a few hours away to start her degree in Automotive Engineering. She made friends with her roommate Ashley, despite having completely different interests. She was known as the “car girl” while Ashley was earning her degree in business and marketing. Desperate to fit in and have a group of friends to hang out with, Lydia began hanging out with Ashley’s clique, most of which were close-knit sorority sisters. She still felt like an outsider, regardless of how much she tried to befriend or impress them. One Friday evening when they were hanging out at a nearby mall, one of the girls decided it would be a fun idea to shoplift from one of their favorite clothing stores. Lydia’s conscience told her it was a bad idea, especially since she had been arrested in the past and had a record. Her desperation to fit in and impress them won out and she stole a pair of earrings and lipstick. It wasn’t until they were leaving the store that a security guard approached her and apprehended her. Her “friends” showed their true colors and quickly fled the scene, leaving her alone to pay for her mistakes. Luckily the store didn’t press charges and she was let off with a lifetime ban and was to complete hours of community service. She dropped out of college and made the move to Merrock, Maine in 2020. She thought the small-town lifestyle would be a good change of pace for her and another fresh start. She applied for a job as a mechanic at a local garage in town and signed up for some classes at the community college so she could finish up her degree. She has plans to one day open up a custom car garage of her own in the future.
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Ok I have more post game cringe here you go
#pathologic#notkin#caspar kain#khan kain#capella olgimskaya#victoria olgimskaya#previous post was all about TRAGEDY of DUTY and FEELINGS#this one's where I unleash the wish-fullfillment and CRINGE#but YEAH in *my ideal world* khan and notkin have a drawn out rivals to crushes to lovers thing going on and capella mediates#for capella I'm not sure#I could see her with clara perhaps but she's a whole other story#mostly I would just very very much like for her to go easy on herself#she has that one line in P2 where she says she will never leave the town and while I see why that's important to her#i want her to take care of herself. maybe go to the ocean idk#see other places and eventually come back home. 15 is so young to make long lasting decisions girlie#my art
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