#secondhand embarrassment will be funny when its done
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a funny thing- ch 24/25 word dump
WUAHAHAHA 4AM BABEY YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS
i’ve been cookin low and slow with this one and i mean real slow like. too slow . as in 2 weeks later whoops
this one’s a real doozy so grab a snack
FIRST PAGE ON THE GOSUKU TAG WHEN YOU SORT BY KUDOS LETS GOOOOOOO major rweiser W
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ch 24
thinking abt yuuji flying down the sidewalk and megumi becoming the equivalent of a flag whipping behind him pls yuuji not everyone can keep up 😭
fred says fuck
mmmmmm crunchy cookies i love me some egg shell
yeah with cooking, you can play around with the measurements and adjust along the way, but baking is whole different beast :[ i made creme brulee for our new year dinner, my first time baking actually, and i was terrified the entire process cus one wrong step and its over (they turned out good in the end, though i wanted to leave it in the fridge longer)
sukuna and uraume on the same wavelength love that
daww megumi just be a kid its okay
gojo’s nicknames for toji PLS father-fushi and fraidy-guro
hehehe he technically called sukuna pretty ,, i agree
LMAOOOOO AINT NO WAYY OFC HE SABOTAGED HIM
i feel like toji would actually do well in getting sales (if he had the proper cookies) considering he’s “a pro at freeloading off women” which leads me to believe he’s got hella charisma .
“Fushiguro stops just before the table, one hand balled into a fist so tight, the muscles of his arm are easy to see, flexing dangerously beneath his skin.” uwwheheheerhfbud sorry
OH SHT THE GIRLIES ARE FIGHTING YOOOOOOOO AND SUKUNA JUMPING IN FOR GOJO ???? in front of the kids in a school fundraiser is crazy lmao
pinky
gojo taking bets on who’s gonna win reminded me of mei mei betting on the gojo-sukuna fight
i had a crazy amount of secondhand embarrassment going thru that hhhhhh yknow that feeling when you just wanna curl up and cover ur eyes and you’re fighting to even look back ? yeaaaaa
“Hurting people is bad. And you’re not bad!” ohh yuuji ughhh he has no idea of what sukuna was before, that he’s done more than hurt people .. children really only see the side of their parents that they’ve allowed to show them. it’s why kids usually think the highest of them, so yuuji saying that sukuna’s not bad gets me cus he’s known and seen only the best of him. but it makes me feel gooey inside cus, while everyone else sees the former king of curses, yuuji sees his dad and when he does eventually find out, he’ll still always be his dad before anything else (does this make sense i hope it makes sense im trying to make my thoughts coherent)
oh hey they’re talking abt it !
I GASPED OH MY GOD PLEAS EOLASOE APLEAS EPLAS EPALEAPSLEAPSH NOOOOOOOOO FFGGHGBBVV HITTING MY BED GRFGHJVNGRRAAGGHHFEG
im being tortured i thinj you’re trying to kill me here this is the worst case of edging ive ever had in my life (no not like that)
post-chapter notes:
IM ALREAYD RIOTING YASTOP BLUE BALLING ME
id read real housewives of jujutsu sorcery
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ch 25
GRADE 1 ?? AS IN ONE ?? AS IN O N E ?? AS IN, YUUJI IS NO LONGER A PRESCHOOLER
when you said small time-skip, i thought you meant a few months later . i was wrong
aight time to update the time board: yuuji’s in first grade so he’s 6 yrs old, we’re in 2013 now (i think), gojo is 24 yrs old 23 yrs old (chap takes place during summer, bday not passed yet)
it’s 2013, he can get a 3ds now :D im gonna get him on smash bros . OR KID ICARUS UPRISING IT SHOULD BE OUT ALREADY
they should totally name the potential pet after me (jk)
OKAYYYY THATS A START HE KISSED HIM ON THE HEAD !! WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE :O now go lower. preferably on the li
oh yeah yeah definitely not together whatever helps you sleep at night man
im gonna need the bad bitches birthday bash one-shot someday with the way shoko’s bringing it up
the fact gojo’s heard the threat so many times before that he can finish it and brush it off
CANDY CRUSH !!?!??
AWWWWWW THATS ADORABLE ;____; sukuna wanting to do something to surprise gojo’s first day as a teacher and yuuji suggesting to make a cake cus he knows his daddy loves sweets AND they spent the whole day prepping awawawawaw so cutee
they called on uraume for help too LOL poor them
yuuji being a snitch HA i can’t help but think of my siblings
you can’t be serious gojo, not after that? people also don’t usually sleep and cuddle the homies cmon man
mother is mothering and mother is leading the herd (no but i love how he adapted to the role very easily, likely to prior experience)
whuh the fundraiser was last year ? am i overthinking the timeframe … ok im back after going thru the calendar that makes sense 👍 carry on wait hold on first semester of first grade ended so they’re on break ... summer break ?? unless this is going off of a different schooling system (oh yeah duh japan lol)
ohhh please let them meet mama-guro i can imagine the absolute shock on their faces trying to comprehend how someone like toji managed to marry someone like her 😭 bonus points if toji is much more softer around her too and the sheer whiplash of seeing him having ANY sort of loving side is enough to send gosuku into a spiral
“It’s exactly the type of thing Sukuna would never be caught dead wearing, which means Satoru must do all in his near-infinite power to make him wear it.” real
THESE THREE ARE RIDICULOUS LMAOOOOOO sorry kids your fathers are busy trying to one-up each other
“But, then again, these are just go-karts; how much damage could he really do?” famous last words before disaster
oh no
hey sukuna’s living life at least he’s having fun and that’s all that matters 🥰
not the pyramid projectiles
CONICAL AMMO !?$&7)-)26 MARIO KART IRL GONE WRONG oh my god its too late for this i need to sleep
OH MY GOD ??????
WHADDYA MEAN THEY’RE GONE ??????
post chap notes:
what just happened
no really what jusr happened
the amount of times i’ve said oh my god throughout the entire go-kart scene i was clutching my pearls
he recreates his reign in the silliest ways, all while wearing nice little red bow :3
nah i get it the entire first arc was dedicated to how messed up he was abt suguru so i understand the doubts but they’ve also near kissed multiple times .. unless they were super down with kissing the homies
“I sure hope nothing bad has happened to them...” STOP
#i spent a good chunk of time trying to figure out the time frame help#i was thoroughly entertained throughout ch 25#AYE BUT GO-KARTING IS AN EXTREME COMPETITIVE SPORT THO#mario kart can bring out the worst in ppl#ok sleepinfh now gn#a funny thing happened on the way to therapy#for weiserr#lai’s word dump n thoughts#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gosuku#sukugo
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Out of all the themes and messages that surrounded Generation Loss, the theory I can never fully immerse myself in is the one about the dehumanization of content creators. Don’t get me wrong. I’m well aware of its confirmation and canonization by Ranboo and other cast members, and I don’t think that anyone who believes or enjoys this concept is wrong for doing so. What am I, a hypocrite lmao? No, it’s that for me personally, it’s hard to view Genloss in that context without feeling weird, I guess. Here, let me give you an example:
Let’s look at the character of Sneeg in this mindset, since we have two episodes' worth of content from him to analyze. Right as he’s introduced, we learn Sneeg tried to complete Slime’s trials, failed, and was stuck in a cage while not being particularly angry about it. It's as if it’s understandable that he’s trapped, that it was his fault, and he knows it. And then, for the rest of the series, he acts as Ranboo’s funny sidekick, doing everything he can to get Ranboo, not himself, to the end. The only time Sneeg’s character shows any agency for himself is in episode 2, when he’s wearing the hat and, after reassuring Ranboo that he’ll come back for him, tries to escape the mall. But he gets caught, is forcefully brainwashed, and returns to his cynical yet helpful self again. So within the context of the audience's perception of CCs, Sneeg’s character only serves as a benefit to Ranboo, and without him (locked up in a cage), Sneeg is nothing, worthless even. Which to me makes the role feel so... icky.
Honestly, that’s probably why I don’t enjoy the dehumanizing cc theory all that much. It never fails to make me viscerally uncomfortable whenever I think about it for too long. “Wow, Genloss doesn’t have a happy ending and is supposed to make you uncomfortable? No shit sherlock.”Yeah, yeah, I know, but that interpretation is just too real for me. With the changing one’s perception leaves them with no choice or time loop theories, we can absolve ourselves of blame, since this is what Showfall wanted to happen. It's still not reassuring, but I’m used to not having control over what happens, be it social, politically, economically, etc. But by viewing the characters as their cc counterparts, their pain becomes so personal that we have no one to blame but ourselves for the suffering they endure. And while I know I wasn’t at fault for their trauma (I was a lurker on twitch, twitter, and tumblr at Ranboo’s "peak", so I couldn’t share my opinion even if I wanted to), I still feel a sense of responsibility knowing that I can’t do anything about it now. That I don’t know how to make it all better. I can’t stop random people from harassing Niki in the past, but I’m still ashamed that it happened at all. It’s like secondhand embarrassment cranked up to 1000%.
I want to watch Lex Cat’s video essay surrounding this topic so badly, but I have to wait until I’m in a good enough headspace because I know it will leave me feeling utterly desolate after. I haven't watched Ranboo’s playthrough of Killer Frequency, but I’ve been told that chat was a mess of people trying to help and others lying to him (telling them they missed something even though they hadn’t, saying that he picked the wrong options when they were right, etc.) and I believe them 100%. I know this because I was there for the late-night mining streams, having to sit through chat screaming DIAMONDS at Ranboo just for shits and giggles. No wonder Ranboo doesn’t trust us to pick the correct combination code for the mall exit when all we have done before is try to fuck him over.
If we choose to believe that Generation Loss was about the dehumanization of content creators by their fanbase, then all this tells Ranboo is that we, his audience, have learned nothing. If they view Generation Loss as Ranboo’s cry for help, a last-ditch effort to change their community, pleading, begging us to see him as a human being and not just a commodity, then why are we choosing to treat him exactly the same as before?
Maybe that’s why voting to kill Ranboo was so easy for me. I never viewed myself as their judge and jury, glowering over him as I decided his fate. As his blood began to pool beneath him, I felt more akin to his executioner, simply following the orders given from Showfall Media.
Maybe I was wrong to assume everyone felt the same way…
#generation loss#genloss#ranboo#ranboolive#generation loss analysis#have to get this in before gen 0 really starts chugging#just my feelings surrounding that theory#It’s very cool to look at gl through that lense#but it’s a bit overwhelmingly depressing pour moi#Ty anon in my ask box for showing me that gl can further rot my brain (affectionate)
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parts 2 of my previous homestuck post, now on to the things i find silly!
-yaoi tournament will live free forever in my head. so as the horse cock. this is the worst thing hussie has ever done. i legit did not know it was an actual horse cock like i think it was just a giant blue dildo 😭😭😭😭
-the dancestors are really lame people like oh my god. beforus kids are giant dorks i cant believe their alternia counterparts are so badass like, take aranea and mindfang. just look at the contrast. first one is a nerd who would pay people for attention and the other is a girlboss who doesnt give a shit.
-one thing i do like from kankri is that he gave us plenty if funny karkat suffers joke. i love how this loser makes karkat do the walter white face lmaoooo he just cant get a break is he?
-and penis ouija!!! god why is he like that? everytime karkat is on screen i feel secondhand embarrassment like. i cant believe i shared classpects with this guy. why are you biting dave's cape are you in kindergarten? worst of all i think i've done something similarly embarrassing in school. thats it im changing my classpect im a knight of light from now on fuck off.
-still, thats not as horrible as rose's fuckup with her date. oh my god somebody gives her a chill pill she is going to lick herself bald like a stressed kitten. which is really funny because she and kanaya seems so... not nervous when talking to each other. you'd think their date would be a normal casual discussion between two awesome self assured girls. No its not. theyre both have gotten good at looking like theyre not close to exploding. but we all know none of them are Hinged.
-And oh, tavris they are doing you both dirty. like, its an improvement that vriska actually says something positive to him and that tavros did speak up against her at some points. but the narrative doesnt really want them to grow as a person. i think hussie has gotten too attached to vriska the unapologetic thief of light to the point that its reflecting badly on her and other's character development. okay fine i did say i wont take it seriously, but im a writer too. ofc i will notice the issues.
- this might be an unpopular opinion but i like the elevatorstuck music. gamzee is like, getting close to be my scrunkly like i know he does atrocities but he is really funny when doing it.
-the lands for the alpha kids are really fascinating. its less lively than the beta kids but im glad i actually get to experience the puzzles they have to solve on quests and its relations with the players' classpect. i want to see jane fulfilling her planets wish to be green and fertile. she gets too much shit talk from caliborn so i want to see her get a win yknow? and she's so goofy like her beta counterpart i want to see her happy and silly like egbert too.
-speaking of egbert, im kinda worried for him. can you believe it? he doesnt like con air anymore. i've been in his phase of starting to lose all joy in things i used to like and feeling lonely even with people around me and its not pretty. i know he went through a lot. i hope the experience with the dream bubble would make him happier even if just for a bit
-and another beta kids i want to be sad about: davesprite! he's so alone. all of his friends from the timeline is gone, he's not the main dave anymore and john keeps treating him like a replacement. its like he's relegated to a nobody who happens to have a recognizable face. poor guy.
-and to be sad again, i know i made fun of karkat a lot, but i have the biggest parental instinct for him. aside from terezi. he's the biggest crier out of the group. he's shouty and annoying but thats very much the kind of annoying shit that children do yknow? at first i dont like him because of his attitude to jade, but slowly i did warm up to him. he never really hated anybody and most of his tantrums are generally harmless to other people. in fact, he blames himself a lot about things that are out of his control. he's the one with the least body count from the rest of the trolls and he literally had to grew up hunted and unwanted by society. i want to give him a hug, i truly do.
-okay back to fanboying. roxy!!!! shit. man i adore that she has an aura that makes any surveillance camera blackout nearby. yes, girl, BECOME UNGOVERNABLE.
-and i cant believe im saying this, but i miss sollux. at first i was just joking about finding him interesting because he has my star sign and is good at coding but yeah. i do miss the guy. where is he really?
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been seeing too much positivity in this fandom so i'm here to spread bad vibes
what's ur least favorite episode and why is it episode 3 the gentleman pirate i'll go first:
goes the hardest with secondhand embarrassment as a source of humor. the first 3 episodes in general do this, but this episode is absolutely The Worst. lucius's little speech in spanish jackie's makes me want to die. someone wrote rlly good meta abt how they stop using secondhand embarrassment for laughs once ed shows up, which is true and is great, but ed doesn't show up until the very end of this episode so we have like 20 minutes of laughing at stede to get through.
on a similar note, this episode teeters a little too close to beating a dead horse re: stede being a shitty pirate. like we've had two full episodes of him bumbling around like an idiot and i'm ready to move on. we know blackbeard is coming soon and that's where my investment lies; i don't rlly need to see stede flailing around in the republic of pirates to know stede is completely inept. i got the point last episode, thanks. Where Is Taika.
compared to the rest of the show this episode feels aimless and i think it's because the characters are kinda aimless. like, it feels like the first session of a new dungeons and dragons campaign and the DM doesn't have the full storyline planned so you're just running around doing random shit until something sticks. i think the main reason for the directionless vibe is that all the other episodes have ed and/or stede (aka the Protagonists of the show) going through some sort of emotional change or mini-character arc as the real core of the episode and i started listing them but realized that's insane so i made a different post for that. things happen to the characters and the characters do stuff, but there's not any change or growth.
overall this episode mostly just sets up things that are important later (spanish jackie, jim's backstory, izzy and stede's animosity), but the payoff doesn't come until later in the season, so on its own a lot of this episode doesn't stand out. the only payoff in this episode is ed showing up at the end which is GREAT but like it's the last thirty seconds. i have a whole episode to get to before then
and not 2 b like "this show is problematic!" (but like nothing's perfect yknow, it's important consume media critically) (and like this is kinda done intentionally and played for comedy) but stede in the republic of pirates gives me poverty tourism vibes. like i know that's the POINT but god it's so frustrating. i've already made a post abt how i want him to get called out for shit like this so i'm not gonna get into it here but like. rich white man walking through poor slums full of people vomiting and dying and being like "i'm so at home!" "lucius sketch my picture next to this corpse!" is not rlly that funny to me. personally.
i've been forcing my family to watch the show and after this episode my mom said she found this episode boring. that's right folks my mommy agrees w me. so there.
anywayyyyyy there are a lot of things abt this episode i DO like (jim being jim, ed saving the day, "genital pirate") and it's a very important episode for the show as a whole. but when im rewatching the show i spend most of this episode on my phone lol
#title of this post is a joke obviously. the joy in this fandom is great i love it here#but when my mom said this episode was kinda boring i was like 'yknow it IS my least favorite episode. why is that???'#then while i was pulling weeds this morning i spent most of the time thinking abt why i dodn't like this episode as much#and then thought abt it so much i had to write it all down#there isn't rlly a point to this post i just like thinking and talking abt this show fdhjkghfkjh#Jess Ourflagmeansgayrights only wants one thing and its Fucking Discussing#anyway#ofmd#our flag means death#our flag means gay#ofmd meta#is this even meta it's just me complaining hfjdkghjkfhgk#txt#mine#stede bonnet#stede fucking bonnet#meta#og#a#s1e03
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July 29, 2023
Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
A family determined to get their young daughter into the finals of a beauty pageant take a cross-country trip in their VW bus.
JayBell: I really thought this was going to be a straightforward comedy, so I wasn’t expecting the more dramatic moments. But once I readjusted my perspective on what this movie was going to be, I was on board.
This movie showcases the epitome of dysfunctional family. They’re just so weird and messed up and crazy, but somehow they manage to remain likeable. Except the dad. I don’t care how “nice” he is in the end, I still think he’s an asshole. He did not win me over.
Honestly the best characters were the young son and daughter (Paul Dano and Abigail Breslin) and surprisingly, the uncle (Steve Carrell). He doesn’t get too many dramatic roles, so I thought it was a nice change of pace for him to get maybe the most dark and “unfunny” character of the bunch. The scene between him and Paul Dano’s character at the beach definitely stands out to me. Paul Dano, despite not speaking for a lot of the movie, still made his presence known. His lines feel more significant simply because he is so silent throughout the first half. Plus, the relationship between the siblings is so subtle. Like they don’t even have that many lines together but that one moment in the field where they don’t even speak a word together but somehow communicate so much is incredibly well done.
Putting this weird family and even weirder child into the beauty pageant world (which is already so weird and bizarre) is enough to almost make them feel normal. Almost. I have to admit, I didn’t see a lot of the final dance number simply because I suffer from secondhand embarrassment, even when it’s fictional embarrassment. So mission accomplished on the writer’s perspective I guess?
While this is labeled a comedy, it wasn’t like laugh-out-loud funny, even if it did have its moments. Honestly, I would call it more of a family drama with just a touch of humor. Which is great, even if it’s not what I expected.
Rating: 7/10 cats 🐈
Anzie: I’ve always wanted to see this movie bc everyone alwayyssss acted like it was the best movie ever and Abigail Breslin is so cute and I loved Nim’s Island. I wasn’t allowed to watch Little Miss Sunshine, I think? Like I don’t remember ever expressly being denied but still I never did 🙄. I digress.
The movie is very good but not in the way I spent almost 20 years assuming. It’s morbidly realllll. Like I spent half the time not breathing. The opening scene of the whole family at dinner. Yikkkes. And I love Greg Kinnear but someone need to beat Dad up. At least give him a good slap. And all the other actors- despite them being huge- they were so believably their character, like this whole family existed I. A bubble of their dysfunction and crazy. And did I mention how cute Abigail Breslin is she’s like kittens and rainbows personified. I loveeee when she finds out in the dinner scene she’s going to the pageant and while the family’s arguing she’s just heard in the background excited and packing her bags. And Steve Carrell is so funny in little moments and quips.
And like I said it’s very real. And very dysfunctional. But at moments sweet. But at moments crazy. And then veryyyy cringe. That talent portion of the pageant…I get very much so it’s a commentary on how messed up beauty pageants for kids are truly- but then add the big finale- which was sweet and funny- but my umm my organs are receiving damage just recalling it now from the amount of cringing they did. So yeah take that for what it is.
Rating: 6/10 Cats 🐈
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I honestly cannot understsnd how tfp starscream can be someones favorite version... the way tfp starscreams characterization was done has really distorted how people perceive her as a character
EXACTLY like i have been trying to dial back my dislike for prime stsc because i really think its one of those situations where its obvious the story didn't have anywhere to go with her at all... like even in the first season, it doesn't really try too hard to install starscream as the main villain and didn't really hesitate to push her out of the spotlight once megatron got back in the game.
but i just... cannot like her? beyond her being an even bigger transmisogynistic caricature (and not in the big but unintentionally cool way that i often see myself having fun with regardless; beast wars ii starscream is a transmisogynistic caricature but she's honestly handled well and the show's respectful about her and in no way is the show ever weird about her... thank you so much beast wars ii) she's just... hard to watch. secondhand embarrassment maybe, but i just cannot watch her for longer than a few minutes, especially during season two. she's SO inconsistent personality wise, because she's either "intelligent and resourceful enough to calculate great plans and outsmart her opponents" or "bumbling incompetent idiot who cannot shut the hell up for one minute" with no balance or in between.
not to mention that she just kind of... ruins the tone of the show? like transformers prime wants to be a lot more grim: scenes are often devoid of music, jokes are few and rely more on character interactions, death and pain are treated with (some) care and weight, etc. but prime starscream just... doesn't work within any of these. she's subjected to a lot of slapstick humor that just doesn't work with the pretty realistic 3D models, especially how textured and apparent scars and bruises are left on her frame. scenes with her that are meant to be funny, serious, etc. just come off as awkward because she's so overanimated and expressive yet this just looks off when compared to other characters, it's almost like she's meant to be in a different show. she's not at all as complex or sympathetic as some of the other decepticons, which isn't inherently bad—i love me downright asshole jerkass starscream—but the way the show doesn't pass up the opportunity to fixate on her being hurt or having her personal space invaded or just in general "perv" (don't know a better word but i don't mean in a sexual way) on her... she just feels. weird.
this isn't really helped by what spawned of a lot of future starscream fan content. it's like the fandom asked "hm. how could we take this blatant caricature and fetishize it into something worse?" and didn't wait for an answer. i literally don't understand how prime starscream is seen as attractive she's UGLY and that's the POINT! she's MEANT to be UNSETTLING! "the stiletto-heeled freak" is NOT a compliment! she is not your "gay GNC small waist high-heeled twink disaster" that is an airplane alien made to look creepy and off-putting. and like it's so funny because she is genuinely regarded as handsome in multiple continuities. she's canonically youthful looking and rather handsome. but then you try and compare cybertron starscream and prime starscream, who people often argue are the two best starscreams, and... well....
see it for yourself. (and before i get "you're biased" or "different angles": prime stsc just looks like that. devoid of color.)
like i would not care, truthfully, if prime starscream was purposefully meant to be this unlikable, obnoxious villain that we were meant to root against. hell, animated sentinel was also that and i enjoyed him immensely. but she's just so... bad. she never really accomplished anything long-term. her character never goes anywhere good. she doesn't work within the show's own setting and tone. no real attempt to do anything good with her. and the fanbase is unbearable and so fucking creepy about her that blocking her tag means you lose almost 75% of the content in her general tag. I Do Not Like Transformers Prime Starscream.
#tfp starscream hate#ask2tag#and about being transmisogynistic caricatures: animated starscream may have had the weird slipstream joke but at least something good came#out of it (slipstream becoming a more prominent female character of herself).#what did transformers prime starscream do other than make the fandom intolerable and blatantly homophobic/transmisogynistic fetishists who#parade their fetishes in the main tag?
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“Celeste” -- Raymond/Astrid
Just some minor fluff, I guess...
He sat on the couch with the news on in the background while he finished up paperwork, occasionally looking over at Enniss who sat on the rug and drew, mimicking his father working when the door opened; Ray finally looked up to see not only the sun setting, but Astrid hurrying towards his liquor stash with a wide-eyed stare on her face.
Enniss greeted her first, Astrid hummed as she looked down at him before going back to her task.
“Star, what is it?” he asked, watching Astrid fill a whiskey glass to the brim.
She didn’t say anything as she brought it to her lips and took a large swig, letting the burn go down her throat and work its way down to her stomach before taking a seat next to Ray on the couch.
He was concerned, she hadn’t filled a glass full of whiskey to the brim since Mickey found out about them dating.
“Astrid, what’s the matter?” he asked her, now concerned as he put his paperwork aside and moved closer to his wife before stroking her hair gently. Astrid looked lost--as if she had heard or seen, or possibly even done something that rocked her to her core, and Ray wished he could read her mind but he couldn’t, so he waited for her to articulate.
Ennis climbed up onto the couch and nudged himself in between them, trying to get Astrid’s attention as she let Enniss lean against her body before she took another sip and sighed to herself.
“Celeste is dating Bunny,” she muttered.
Ray tilted his head “What?” he asked perplexed “...well, it can’t be that bad--can it?”
Astrid whined “I...I walked in on them…” she trailed off, glaring at Ray as she pushed her bottom lip up in an awkward disgust; Ray couldn’t help himself from smirking, blushing at the secondhand embarrassment of his wife as she finished her drink and stroked Enniss hair as he rested against her.
“I love Bunny,” Astrid started “He’s my guy.”
Ray nodded “He is your favorite…” he observed.
Astrid sighed “But Celeste can do so much better!” she proclaimed.
Ray couldn’t stop himself from chuckling, and Astrid frowned further as she glared at him “What’s so funny, Ray?”
Ray shook his head “Just...the irony...people say the same thing about us.” he responded.
“What?” Astrid asked.
The gentleman nodded “Yes,” Ray said, looking down at Enniss “People see me, and my wedding ring and they assume that I have some hot, Victoria Secret, Playboy Bunny model, Trophy Wife at home waiting for me--and then they see you. And they are absolutely floored how someone ‘like me’, could possibly be married to you. I once broke a man’s nose for calling you ‘homely looking’.” he said, remembering the moment.
She wasn’t going to lie to herself, it hurt her feelings--not at Ray himself, but that people thought and openly admitted those things to Ray. Astrid swallowed hard while playing with her empty glass before stroking Enniss’ hair.
“You are fucking adorable, sexy even--you’re my anchor, my guiding star...and it doesn’t matter what people say, because I love you. Nobody is ever going to understand what I see in you, or what we have together--so fuck ‘em!” Ray told her “...we’ll never understand what Celeste sees in Bunny--but, it’s none of our business, really. So let her have it, whatever it is.” he said before stroking her hair.
Astrid sighed, nodding at what Ray was saying “You’re right.” she muttered.
“That’s a first,” Ray joked, leaning in to kiss her “I love you.” he said.
“I love you too.” Astrid said back.
“Love you.” Enniss said, getting both his parents attention as Astrid giggled at him and held him close and kissed his forehead. Ray chuckled at Enniss before leaning in to kiss Astrid and Enniss, he moved his papers to the ottoman and stood up while looking at Astrid.
“I’m going to start dinner, you two just relax.” he said before walking into the kitchen.
Astrid smiled, watching Enniss when she pointed to the drawing on the floor “Show Mommy what you did…” she cooed as Enniss got up to pick up the piece of paper on the floor to show Astrid the scribbles.
Astrid smiled at her son before glancing over her shoulder at Ray who was glancing into the fridge, determining what he was going to make for dinner when she got up from the couch and walked up behind Ray and wrapped her arms around his chest while resting her head in between his shoulder blades.
“She wants us to go on a double date.” Astrid muttered.
“Fuck off,” Ray retorted before laughing.
Astrid laughed back at him as he turned around to face Astrid before leaning in to kiss her “...if we must, then fine.” he told her.
She nodded at him “Friday at 7?” she offered.
Ray smiled as he stroked her face “Friday at 7.”
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Ranking
Steve Rogers x Reader
Word Count: 1,967
Warnings: Food mention. Possible secondhand embarrassment trigger.
Author’s Note: Fluffy stuff.
You had never been one for rag mags - celebrity gossip is simply uninteresting at best and horribly cruel at worst - but the bold headline this week on People Magazine catches your eye as you absentmindedly place your groceries on the belt at the supermarket.
“Seriously?” you mutter incredulously, your fingers wrapped around a bottle of orange juice.
Is it worthy of a chuckle? Should you keep moving, pretend you didn’t see it? Or... and you can’t believe this thought has even occurred to you... would it be worth the six bucks to bring it back to the compound and share with the rest of the team? The options occupy too much of your brain space as the cashier tells your total, distracting you from the inane tug-of-war in your head.
“How much?” you say, shaking away the silly predicament for a moment.
The cashier, hardly older than 16 it seems, points at the screen instead of answering. Before you pay, however, you glance back at the magazine, finally coming to a decision.
--
The magazine slaps the counter top, its glossy front page gleaming as you unload the rest of the groceries; it gets lost in the vegetables and fruits, the cereals, the junk food... and for a while you forget it.
"Back with the grub, eh, Y/N?" Tony says, swiping up a bag of Doritos and popping it open. "I gotta say, you've done shopping trips quicker than that."
You laugh, gathering all the reusable bags into one and putting them away and say, "Maybe you should don your supersuit and fly over all the New York City traffic if you want it quicker.”
"I believe that would be an unnecessary trip," Bruce mentions from the kitchen table, sipping his tea.
“Hey, I offered to send someone out to do it,” he replies. “You insisted on doing it yourself, remember? If I recall correctly,” he continues, feigning concentration as he puts on a teasing mocking tone, “you said that you didn’t want to let the fact that you’re an Avenger now make you too... what was the word.... bougie.”
“At least one of us needs to be grounded, Tony.”
Your gaze shifts to Steve as he passes, a subtle smile on his face when he meets your eye; your tummy flutters, having nothing to do with the hunger pang you’re feeling and everything to do with the way Steve’s eyes sparkle in the soothing lighting of the kitchen. You smile back, hoping the burn in your cheeks is obvious to no one but yourself.
One by one, the team trickles into the kitchen, looking for a lazy Sunday lunch or ingredients for a post-workout smoothie. Your voices mingle together, a pleasant hum in the early afternoon of a rare mission-free, drama-free weekend.
Or so you thought.
"I'm not number one?!"
The incredulous shout draws every eye in the room; Tony sits on the counter, eyes wide as he stares into the open magazine in his hand. You giggle, turning back to your lunch, relieved to know you don't have to live with his over-inflated ego for the next century.
"What are you on about?” Thor says, looking up almost mid-bite.
“This,” Tony replies, shaking the magazine; he flips through the pages, apparently intent on finding his ranking. “It’s the Top 10 Sexiest Male Superheroes, and I’m... not even second... I’m... how am I fifth?”
At this point, you bite your knuckle to keep from bursting aloud with laughter. You lock eyes with Steve, who mirrors your amusement.
“Lang is ahead of me? Are you serious? He’s a goddamn ant! An actual bug!”
“Who’s number one?” Natasha inquires after swallowing a bite of her sandwich.
Tony looks up, annoyed or crestfallen, you can’t tell.
“Thor, of course,” he answers with a shrug. “Can’t beat a demigod, I guess.”
Thor jumps up from his chair, his arms raised in victory, Clint giving him a congratulatory high five. The kitchen descends into loud chatter, and after many demands to know the full list, Tony gives the magazine up to Natasha, who reads off the ranking.
“Cap,” she says with a nod to him. “Good job, you’re second.”
“What?” he laughs; if you didn’t know any better, you’d swear it was humility that makes him say it. There’s no chance that his ranking would go to his head.
“It’s gotta be the beard,” Clint laughs. “Otherwise you would’ve been eighth or worse.”
“It’s definitely more than the beard,” you answer.
Biting your tongue might have been the better option, as now you find yourself the center of some very intrigued attention. Perhaps your tone was a little too defensive, or the blush that certainly feels infinitely hotter now has finally caught flame on your cheeks. Whatever it was that garnered such smirks from around the table, whatever your intentions, your immediate wish is for the ground to open up and swallow you whole.
“Care to elaborate on that, Y/N?” Tony asks, seeming to forget his fifth place ranking for a moment in favor of someone else’s total humiliation.
You clear your throat, glancing down at your food, bereft of your hunger.
“Well,” you begin. “Maybe it has a lot to do with the way he carries himself, you know? There’s a lot of dignity there, a lot of virtue. He’s respectful and honest, stands up for what he believes in. He’s definitely not hideous, either. You know... he’s a - ”
“Y/N,” Steve says, leaning forward in his chair. “You don’t have to explain yourself. It’s really sweet of you, of course, and I do appreciate it, but - “
“No, Cap,” Tony interrupts. “I think we should let Y/N keep going.”
Your throat closes in panic and you clear it again, getting to your feet as you say, “I’m actually just gonna go.... uh... make a phone call. I’ll catch you guys later.”
Steve chastises Tony as the rest of the team breaks into discussion, but you don’t hear any of it. Soon, you’re in the elevator, bumping your head against the wall over and over, wondering if it’s too soon to pack your bags and leave the team with no notice as to where you’ve gone. You barely register your surroundings until you enter your room, locking the door behind you and requesting that FRIDAY ensures that you remain undisturbed until further notice.
---
Each time your knuckles meet the leather of the punching bag, your mind gets a little clearer. It’s almost as if all the big and little things plaguing your thoughts settle on the surface of your fists, only to be smashed to pieces when you punch. The nervous energy that settled in you at lunch drives your fists forward, burning off into nothing with every movement you make.
Midnight was the perfect time to sneak into the gym, to get a workout in without anyone bothering you; everyone usually slinks off to do their own things a little earlier in the evening. Perhaps some have fallen asleep by this time. It didn’t matter where they were or what they were doing as long as they weren’t around to say anything to you about Steve.
“Y/N?”
Then again... sometimes you’re wrong.
You halt in your activity, breathing heavily and dreading turning to look at Steve. Your hands drop to your sides as you pluck up your courage, facing the man with a deep breath.
“Hey,” you reply as nonchalant as possible.
“Hi,” he says softly, his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants; his eyes fix on yours, drawing you into their depths as usual as he slowly approaches you. “Can we talk?”
The pit in your stomach grows exponentially, making you regret ever leaving your room in the first place.
“We don’t have to,” you answer quietly. “It’s just a silly magazine. It’s not like it’s about anything important, right?”
Facing the bag once more, you resume your activity, hoping against hope that Steve just leaves it there, that he doesn’t press the matter. The very last thing you want to do is spill your guts about what you thought was just a casual crush to the very man you’re crushing on. You hadn’t expected to become so flustered in such a situation, but with the spotlight on you at lunch, it had really sunk in just how much you feel for him.
“Y/N,” he continues, but you evade him.
“It’s not a big deal,” you say, deciding to give up your workout for the night and hit the showers; he’d never follow you there.
Before you can get too far, though, he says, “That’s why you’re running away from me, right?”
The anger is a surprise, bubbling up as you turn on your heel; perhaps it’s your shield in this moment, a veil to wear to save face.
“Don’t push it, Cap,” you insist, making one more attempt at escape. Again, however, you’re stayed by his response.
“You’re definitely not hideous, either,’ he says, and you turn to face him once more; he stands there, wringing his hands, an earnest expression on his face. “You’re funny, and whip smart, and you don’t take anyone’s shit. There’s compassion and a goodness that I haven’t seen in anyone in a long time.”
Perhaps you’ve hit your head and you’re dreaming this. Maybe there’s a chance you inadvertently ingested some kind of hallucinogen at an enemy’s lair. Whatever it is, there is no way that Steve Rogers is standing in front of you, singing your praises like this. Not in the real world. Never once had you imagined the feelings reciprocated, so this must be a figment of your deepest desires.
“What?” is all you manage to say.
Steve’s brows knit over the bridge of his nose, desperation threading through every feature on his face.
“You can’t possibly think I wouldn’t fall for you, can you?” he asks gently. “That I haven’t noticed you? Y/N, you’re almost the only thing I notice anymore.”
"Well, that's a good way to get yourself killed during a mission."
You didn't mean to say it, and the moment solidifies around you, even the molecules in the air coming to a stand still. Steve’s eyes sparkle, blinking in slow motion as he moves forward. The corner of his mouth twitches upward in a sweet smirk.
“What a way to go, then,” he says, within reaching distance of your hand.
“So much for our selfless leader,” you giggle.
He hesitates for a moment, but when you move to offer your hand, he reaches out with his, his fingers curling around yours. The blue in his eyes glints in the low light of the gym, hinting not a single bit of insincerity.
“There is something wrong with your ranking, though,” you say after a moment, amused at the almost-surprise in his expression as he straightens his posture.
“What do you mean?”
You grin before replying, “You should definitely have taken the number one spot.”
Steve relaxes, chuckling as he glances away. His free hand combs through his hair.
“Over Thor?” he says. “No way that’s happening.”
“Please,” you answer, finding your gumption and pulling him closer; the two of you are close enough to feel each other’s breaths on your faces, “There’s no contest.”
One more tug on his hand and his lips meet yours, hesitant at first, but with a sigh, the pair of you relax into each other. Lips parting, you taste his breath, minty and clean, as his hands find your waist, pulling you flush against his front.
“If you say so,” he says as he pulls away, gazing into your eyes as he smiles, his expression a little dazed, a little satisfied.
“Oh, Cap,” you reply, your hand above his wildly beating heart. “I do say so.”
#steve rogers#steve rogers fanfiction#captain america#captain america fanfiction#avengers#avengers fanfiction#reader insert#fluff#steve rogers fluff#avengers fluff#captain america fluff
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why does the big fix bother you? I personally thought it was great, and stan is my favorite character
It's not a Stan issue lol at least not a Stan issue per se. Like I don't have an issue with him having been a douche and I expected this to be a Stan's bigheaded, Stan's racially ignorant episode that I was secondhand embarrassed by and I actually didn't really get it as bad as I thought. I was only secondhand embarrassed by him doing his lil auditorium speech which is very low level compared to Butterballs or honestly any other episode where he gets up his own ass at all. That said, him being my favorite character is a big part of why I think I should probably back off saying this episode really fucked up my sp opinions going forward.
It took me a while to sort through my feelings on it so here's the primary thing quoted from another post:
Thinking on it a bit more I think realistically it has something to do with the premise but it also has to do with a level of rehashing. My guess when the summary went up with the preview was that it would be a Stan based ignorant racism ep in the vein of Randy’s 'nword’ episode. With the plot description I even secretly thought 'Tolkien’ because it sounded the same as Token,though I didn’t think they’d be changing his name lol. But I think the fact I was right is in a weird way the problem I have with it. It’s effectively rehashing multiple episodes and plot points– Randy is careless with his family, Randy cares more about Tegridy than his relationships, Randy is racist and Stan is at least ignorant probably in part because of his dad, Stan wants to learn to do better but is tripped up by 'looking’ like he’s a good person…. All of that’s been done before, sometimes better and sometimes not.
The differences for this one are: it requires Stan to be wrong about something there’s realistically no way he could be wrong about even outside of all the canonical evidence he’s right and it being a meta gag more than anything. It’s an unreality that just doesn’t make sense in an in-universe way unlike a lot of South Park’s unrealities. It requires Randy to be getting closer and closer to full on irredeemable instead of just ignorant. And in the wake of Return of Covid it gets more and more unbelievable that Stan would think of gifting Randy the weed at the end– something already unbelievable keeping in mind Post Covid itself but getting worse with the more Tegridy makes all their relationships worse. The selling point of South Park to me has always been the characterization and relationships between the characters and after JUST making a big stink about how important friendships are they’ve done nothing with them and just rehashed old plot points in a way that sacrificed characterization and believability of relationships. On its face it’s a funny episode though and I do think I’m the only person it’s really hitting sideways,but it bizarrely made me not care about my favorite characters and relationships in the show.
(ETA as a clarifier for this: Stan didn't act out of character for the situation he was in. But the situation itself shows a lack of care for characters' and relationships' backgrounds that the show usually doesn't.)
So,other thoughts.
As I was thinking on it, this episode also half-assed what it did with Tolkien. I don't mean the fact that Stan shoved him out of the class, which is the point enough that I think it's fine even though I think it also doubles as a cheap way to not have to write Tolkien's reaction to things. But on an episode about how Tolkien's not a token black kid they have him say like three sentences. And the reactions he does have are to say he doesn't have a choice in things (twice), and to say something that is clearly meant to 'sound' black (jive-ass). I'm white so this is one of those things that's hard for me to be like it's soooo problematic or anything. But I do think it's another weak character moment on top of an episode of weak character moments and I do think it's an episode of both talking over black characters in an ironic way in particular when it comes to Stan and talking over them/still marginalizing their roles unironically because it's a show written by a middle aged white guy who's putting a lot of stock in mic drop moments to carry weight.
ETA for this part too lol Like even ignoring the 'I don't have a choice in my name thing' since fine, he doesn't. Tolkien could avoid Stan on the farms even if they're neighbors if he thinks this has made Stan a big enough tool in his eyes. It's an episode of saying Tolkien's not just a prop while giving him no agency for anything not just in how Stan relegates him to being outside of the group but in how the script as a whole is written. I'd assume this is something that could change in upcoming episodes with Tolkien being more of a supporting character. Or maybe it won't since even main characters got pushed back in Pajama Day idek. Either way this episode on its own is changing optics, not the actual behavior, at the expense of internal realism for the characters and a 'gotcha, audience' gag.
I'll be frank that I don't tend to like fourth wall breaking jokes anyway. I don't for instance like most celeb references. So it's automatically not geared to me.
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* adapted from @librajiminn on twitter
A fun game to celebrate 2020 ending! The rules are simple: recommend your favorite OMGCP fics so everyone can enjoy them, while trying to fill in enough slots to get a bingo!
This is going to get long, so I’ll put it under a cut. Also, I’m too orderly to try to shoehorn my favorite fics into these particular prompts, so I’m just going to go right to left, top to bottom, taking the prompts literally, until it’s bedtime.
1. first fic you bookmarked: “Here Comes the Sun” by @doggernaut, 19k, G, no warnings, Zimbits
For the past month, the man with the baby and the sad blue eyes has been stopping in for a cup of coffee an hour before closing. He always sits in an overstuffed chair in the corner and drinks his coffee while his baby sleeps next to him in the stroller. Sometimes he pulls a book out from the diaper bag he carries with him; other times he just stares straight ahead as if in a daze. He never asks for a refill, always respectfully gathers his things and leaves ten minutes before the shop officially closes. Eric desperately wants to ask him what his story is.
My notes: I read Check Please over the course of two days in June of 2019. On the second day, right after catching up, I looked at @peppermintfeminist‘s AO3 bookmarks and found a fic by @doggernaut. Then I read just about everything @doggernaut had ever posted. It was glorious. This fic in particular is so cute.
2. most recent fic you bookmarked: “Flight Check” by @edgarallanrose, 15k, E, no warnings (though there is a creepy/handsy guy at a club to watch out for), primarily Zimbits with most of the other popular pairings in the background
Flight attendant Eric “Bitty” Bittle has been working his way up at Samwell Airlines for the past four years, and his new promotion has provided him the opportunity to work with a brand-new crew. Unfortunately for Bitty, that crew includes an incredibly handsome but equally grumpy pilot, Captain Jack Zimmermann, who seems to want nothing to do with Bitty. Even worse, Jack refuses to eat any of Bitty's baked goods. Will Bitty be able to win the captain over? Or is there another reason Jack has been avoiding Bitty?
My notes: There are a lot of great things about this fic--Jack’s character arc, Lardo’s dialogue, that scene in Seattle--but the reason I bookmarked it is the scene where Bitty’s basically slut-shaming himself and Jack gently but firmly tells Bitty not to do that and that it was the creep’s fault.
3. a fic that made you cry actual tears: “a little bit more” by @ivecarvedawoodenheart, 14k, T, no warnings, Holsom
“I just wanted,” he says, “a perfect day. With you. Because it’s our last day together and our last day being here as undergrads and we’re kissing the ice tonight, and the weather’s supposed to be beautiful, and you’re moving tomorrow and Holtzy I just — I don’t want to be missing you already.”
Holster wipes his eyes before he even realizes he’s crying. Behind him, Ransom sighs.
“One more day where everything’s the same,” he says, feeling around blindly for Rans’ fingers. He feels Rans nod as he laces their fingers together. “Yeah. Yeah, Rans. I’d like that a lot.”
__________________________
Holsom after graduation and throughout the subsequent six months after Holster signs to an expansion team in Oregon, and realizes his feelings for Ransom too late. Holster's POV :) kinda angsty, but there's a happy ending :)
Inspired by shitty-check-please-aus: "Holster moves to Oregon while Ransom stays on the east coast. The time difference makes it difficult to talk and one day they wake up and realize they aren’t best bros anymore."
My notes: I almost never cry at fics. I searched “tears” in my fandom email account and only a handful of my fic comments came up, but Syd is a literal master of Holsom angst, always.
4. longest fic you’ve read: “Like Real People Do” by @xiaq, 153k, M, No Warnings, Kent Parson x OC
Parson gestures with his spoon toward Hawke. “So am I allowed to ask about the service dog or is that not PC?”
“My medical history is more of a 3rd date conversation," Eli says.
“Oh? Why’s that?”
“Because. No one sticks around afterward and I like to live in glorious denial for a short period beforehand.”
It comes out more self-deprecating than he intended.
Parson looks…thoughtful. “Well, does this count as one or two?
“Pardon?”
“This. Ice cream. I mean, technically it’s a second location, but still the same night. So is this one date or two?”
“One,” Eli says firmly. “If it’s happening within the same three-hour period.”
“You’re the expert,” Parson says, which, he’s really, really, not, but ok.
“So still two dates to go then?” Parson continues.
“I—what?”
“We’ve got a roadie coming up but then we’re home for almost two weeks. When does your semester start?”
“You want to do this again?” Eli asks.
Parson stops idly twirling his spoon.
“You don’t?”
He does, Eli realizes. He really does. Because apparently he actually likes Kent fucking Parson.
My notes: Okay, this fic has my whole entire heart. I’ve read it multiple times in its entirety, and it’s almost twice as long as the full-length novel I’m querying. Eli is one of my favorite OCs I’ve ever seen in a fic (probably tied with Damian Navarro and Ari Paxton, both brainchildren of @fozmeadows). Anyway, this is probably going to be the next thing @themeaningoflifeischeese and I read out loud to each other.
5. a fic you almost didn’t read: “when all else fails (i’ll still be right here)” by @whoacanada, 6k, T, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (and I don’t remember if I think there’s stuff to warn for, sorry), Zimbits
The National Hockey League is resurrecting the Quebec City Nordiques, and the expansion draft hits the Falconers much harder than expected.
My notes: Given that this was for @omgcpheartbreakfest, I was worried this would be all angst--all hurt and no comfort. Which made me sad, because I love @whoacanada‘s writing but I wasn’t up for reading unresolved angst. But @doggernaut reblogged the fic, so I asked if the ending was sad, and it’s NOT! There is quite a bit of angst but the ending isn’t sad.
6. a fic that convinced you on a ship you didn’t ship before: “it drops with the gravity of rain” by @geniusorinsanity, 16k, T, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (attempted sexual assault by an OC), Nurseydex
It happens like this:
“I don’t--this is a bad idea,” Dex says, his lips still tingling, his hands shaking on Nursey’s hips where he’s shoved him away. “This is a really bad idea, Nurse. I can’t--We can’t do this.”
And there’s hurt in Nursey’s eyes and his bottom lip is swollen from Dex’s teeth, but he says, “Okay.” And then, “It’s chill, Dex. Just friends, then.”
It happens like this:
“Actually,” Nursey says, talking more to his granola than to them, “I kind of have a date.”
It happens like this:
When Nursey calls, Dex almost doesn’t pick up the phone.
My notes: So I was really confused and a little disturbed when I first found out people shipped Nursey and Dex. Like, Dex just wasn’t someone I trusted. But then I was moving out of the house I’d been living in, and I needed stuff to listen to as I packed and cleaned, and @khashanakalashtar‘s podfics came in clutch. I gave this one a try even though I didn’t like Dex, and @geniusorinsanity blew. My. Mind.
7. a fic from an unusual POV: “Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy” by @porcupine-girl, 8k, G, no warnings, Zimbits
Jesse Snowden knows all the best restaurants and gourmet food shops in Providence, so when Jack Zimmermann starts bringing in incredible baked goods, he's eager to find out where the new bakery is. When he meets the man behind the pies, he decides that there's no way Jack could really appreciate this guy's talent the way he does, even if they are friends. He starts hiring Jack's chef on the side, in the hopes that maybe once Bitty's done with college he'll come work for Jesse.
Good thing there is absolutely no way whatsoever that Jesse could possibly be misinterpreting this situation.
My notes: Oh my gosh this is so funny. The secondhand embarrassment factor is huge, but like, the hilarity.
8. a comfort fic: “Don’t Need to Compromise” by @khashanakalashtar, 11k, E, no warnings, PB&J
“Hey,” said Kent, unknowingly setting off a chain of events that would change his entire life, “you said that like you know from experience. Have you done this before?”
Jack and Bitty have not done polyamory before, but they do know Ransom and Holster’s polycule, which contains March.
And March?
March is trans.
My notes: I’m in love with @khashanakalashtar‘s entire Directionverse series (and honestly a lot of their other writing), but “Don’t Need to Compromise,” which is the second fic in the series, just makes my heart swell especially much. The gender feels are so good, and all the characters are so good to each other, and when I listen to this on walks I have to actively try not to arm-flap.
9. a fic you wish could be a movie: “Ice Crew Please!” by @petals42, 61k, T, no warnings, Zimbits
Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. His team won the Cup his second year and now, in his third year, they are looking good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is.
He’s not, of course.
Enter the Ice Crew.
AKA: The Ice Crew AU
My notes: This fic has its tender moments, but what I love most about it is the sheer goofiness. Ransom and Holster and Shitty are HILARIOUS in this one. I’d love to see their shenanigans in movie form.
10. a WIP you read as it was updated: “Something Borrowed” by @fozmeadows, 48k, M, no warnings, Kent x OC
All things considered, Ari did his best to prepare himself for the advent of Kent Parson, Potentially Difficult Housemate and New Star Liney. The problem was that his best was an idiot.
My notes: So technically I didn’t start reading this until the first 19 chapters were posted. But there was still plenty of anticipation for the final few chapters. And like, @fozmeadows (as mentioned above) makes EXCELLENT OCs. And I love how their fics consistently convey that having bad things happen to you does not mark the end of your story.
Okay, it’s bedtime, so have 10 excellent fics. I got bingo twice, because I went straight across on the top two rows.
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see i was just thinking that like. jc is interesting as a character and i don’t mind ppl liking him or characters in mdzs who have done awful things (jgy, xy) as long as they don’t try and excuse their bad actions and/or try to justify them. but they ALWAYS try!!!! why is it so hard for these ppl to accept that their favs are just really shitty terrible people??? like there’s nothing wrong with thinking they’re hot or whatever but i get secondhand embarrassment watching these ppl try and twist what they did into something good/make their fav out to be the victim like y’all are straight up lying to yourselves lmao
TRULY EMBARRASSING and i am someone who loves fucked up characters. the lannister chapters in asoiaf are my favorites like yesss give me the instability give me the ego give me the utterly despicable actions made in the name of power i LOVE a trainwreck!!! theres nothing wrong w that! characters like that are genuinely fascinating and fun to read.
i truly believe on some level people think they have to twist characters like this into good/good adjacent/poor misunderstood baby because otherwise they think liking the character who does bad things is a reflection of their own morals and its...its not. characters serve a function in the narrative and you're allowed to like what they do for the story it doesnt need to be deeper than that!!
also it's very very funny when people try to compare jgy or whoever with wwx as if doing so doesn't just prove being an evil fucked up person is a choice you make and not the result of having a tragic backstory
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im conflicted on the dance bc its lowkey endearing bc it’s such a cringey teen masterpiece you know? i’d rather see that than something super clean, unrealistically good, and probably over sexualized. it feels real. but it also feels like something you’d see, especially with those outfits and the hats lord, in a 2000s teen movie not a 2021 webseries lmao. these characters have been set up as instas baddies lol. and the fact that they’ve been practicing for weeks? i swear none of the practice moves made it in. and i get the feeling we’re supposed to think it’s actually really cool, not endearingly cringe. 😭 i just can’t take the entrance scene seriously
oo yea i get u! like i think it's still fitting for a skam remake to make intentionally cringy things bc they're teens and they think it's cool. like i think the perfect example n one of the most hilarious druck moments was when in s5e2 the instas are having the "party" in the parking lot & it's all played up n made to look like a huge crazy thing n then the camera pans out n we see like what 8 ppl there 😭 like that was sooo funny n obviously intentionally made to be "cringy" bc the expectations vs reality shtick works well n nora even calls them out for it.
but yeah w the dance scene exactly i also feel like it was supposed to come off as cool rather than intentionally cringy n that's the weird part... i think especially bc of the relieved group hug after the fact and the backstage hype circle they did before (which already gave me secondhand embarrassment but that's my problem) it seemed like it was truly building up to smth huge but rly in the end they just ended up dancing like they would as party guests on the dance floor, where was the choreo they so intensively had to rehearse?
also omg please the outfits... maaaaybe there was an conscious decision to reference a 2000/2010s teen movie since there were the other movie-like clips (like the coming of age movie vibes of the consti-lou-isi clips) but honestly i didn't even think of that possibility until u said the dance would fit a movie like that (which. so true. i would've ate that up as a 9 year old) so if it was intentional idk abt the execution 😭
and as a side note the thing u said abt an over sexualized dance/choreo, that's actually a good point. i mean we did see isi being uncomfortable w the first choreos they were experimenting with n i like that they had a dance that everyone was comfortable with n were still considered cool for it. no need for overly sexual stuff from these teens. but yeah maybe they could've still done that w.. a less cringy version of the dance smfjiskd bc it's like half of these characters were supposed to be The popular kids who acted like they owned the school like pls if someone had done this at my school they would've been made fun of endlessly 😩
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royalty au for jaehyun??
omg YASSSSSSSSSSS i love jaehyun so much p l e a s e
ok so royalty au huh
okay lets see
so this kinda ended up like a strangers to lovers au because im cliche like that
so jaehyun is quite a famous crown prince
he’s known very well for his peaceful ways of finding solutions to problems other than war
not too mention he’s a strong prince too
and on top of all of that he’s very kind
he’s literally a whole package i would marry him no cap
n e ways
a lot of kingdoms wishes to marry their child to him
jaehyun, too, wishes to be in love and marry too
but he never gets the chance
because most noble families just doesn’t catch his eye
the king and queen respects his decision
because he can even be a single king if he wants too. no pressure at all for mr princey here
jaehyun also believes in soulmates
so, he thinks when the time is right, he will cross paths with his soulmate
and when the time comes, only then will he marry
so anyways
one day, on a particular afternoon, the kingdom of jung was greeted by a sudden visit by your kingdom — by you
you visited along with your parents with the purpose of proposing
you were the firstborn of your kingdom
you had always dreamt of marrying someone handsome and charming — much like jaehyun — if only you weren’t so shy
plus, your kingdom had a rule that the ruler must be of a married couple
and your father wants to step down soon, which mean the pressure is on for you
so here you are, you’ve travelled far just to propose
this isn’t how you wanted it to happen
you always imagined it’s the prince that will propose, not you
and yet here you are
so now you’re standing in front of jaehyun’s parents, and jaehyun himself, with your handmaiden next to you along with your offerings to him
but there was silence
your mind actually went blank you don’t know what to do
“your highness” your handmaiden whispered
“huh?”
“say your lines…”
“OH!”
you cleared your throat
you’re so nervous omg you’ve never done this before
“your royal highness, prince jaehyun, i- uh- i stand before you with offerings!”
you were stuttering, your face was red, you’re sweating, you’re all over the place
and jaehyun watched you with amusement
he’s been proposed before, but he’s never seen a proposal as clumsy as this
you rambled on with whatever you had to say, jaehyun wasn’t sure what you were saying either, but you were fun to watch
after you were done, there was silence
your handmaiden was having a secondhand embarrassment
after that long, awful pause that was killing your insides slowly, jaehyun giggled
he shocked his parents, you, and basically everyone that was in the same room
“is this supposed to happen? why is he laughing?”
“i don’t know, your highness”
“did i fail?”
“i’m not sure, your highness”
you glanced at jaehyun, who had a small smile to his face as he stared at you, “you’re funny, princess.”
that was all that he said, before he retreated
and that was it for that day
you were excused
but since you live far away, you were allowed to stay in the kingdom for a few extra days.
that night, you told your mother exactly what happened
and she laughed too
she assured you that you can try again the following day
but you’re not even sure if you want to try again
what’s the use anyways? he had laughed at you
it felt like he spat on your face
you went to bed with that heavy feeling in your heart; failure
the next day you woke up a little later than usual
so there was no one at breakfast except for you
as you were half eating, half admiring the interior design of the palace
you didn’t notice jaehyun had joined in too
he sat at the other end of the table, afraid that if he sat anywhere closer, it would bother you
when you noticed him, your face turned as red as your morning dress
“y-your highness! good morn- uh- hello- um hi?”
he laughed again
his laugh sounded so sweet, though, you kinda felt honoured he thinks you’re an idiot
“you’re very amusing, my dear,” he told you
the nickname shouldn’t have bothered you as much as it did
he was far from you, but you still couldn’t stand looking at him
you’re embarrassed, nervous, anxious, everything
“you woke up late?” he asked
you’re kinda surprised he’s actually bothered to talk to you honestly
you nodded
“you, too?” you asked, you’re glad the funny tone has left you, and you’re not as nervous as you were seconds ago
he shook his head, “no, i just had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction”
you nodded awkwardly, not knowing what to say
“you don’t propose often, do you?” he suddenly asked
you thought you were over with being embarrassed, but now that he mentioned the event from before again…
you slowly shook your head
“that was my first time” you mumbled, loud enough for jaehyun to hear, though
jaehyun was impressed
“you’re cute, you know that?”
the alarms in your head were going off like crazy
your eyes widened
did he just call me cute
am i cute to him
so did i manage to woo him like what my mum told me to?
after noticing how silent you are
jaehyun decided to leave
he understands you’re probably super flustered anyways
and he kinda feels bad for complimenting you like that
clearly you’re not in the right headspace to accept straightforward compliments like that
later on the same day, you decided to wander off on your own
you didn’t have anything better to do anyways
as you wander off, you came across a music room
you love music
you’re especially skilled in playing a particular chinese instrument, guzheng
you doubted there was one in this music room, though
but to your luck
there was one!!
but it looked a little older compared to the other instruments
not forgetting to be cautious, you look around to see if anyone was nearby
its not that you’re prohibited to play an instrument in the music room or something, you just didn’t want people to watch you because you’ll get nervous
when you’re sure no one’s around you started playing the instrument
you were playing a song that you haven’t practice as much for, thus you were making a few mistakes here and there
but it’s okay, no one’s around anyways
after you were done, you sat there, kinda proud
like, you did that!!
without any musical sheet too
as you were sitting there, giving yourself an imaginary pat on the back
you heard someone walking
“i thought something was weird!”
it was the familiar, sweet voice again
it was jaehyun
you quickly tensed
jaehyun was so close to you
like this super handsome, charming, talented prince is literally next to you
“you played beautifully”
you look away to save yourself
not only is he close to you than he has ever been before, he also appreciated your talent
“i made a lot of mistakes though”
you finally forced something out of your throat
jaehyun hummed in response, he then took a seat next to you
now hes like super close
you could literally feel his body heat now
your heart is genuinely about to burst
it’s not that you’re a virgin to all of this or something
it’s just that jaehyun is super attractive ok
“well yeah, but if you could play as good as that without a music sheet, how well will you do with one?” he asked
you looked at him, and he looked at you
you kinda wanna kiss him ngl but you’re a p r i n c e s s you can’t do this
“you’re really… kind” you finally said
you were genuine
this whole time
jaehyun has been nothing but nice to you
no matter how many times you’ve screwed up
he never stops treating you like a human being rather than a princess and/or soon-to-be queen
and he has never looked down on you, either
you thought that he couldn’t have been bothered to approach you after all that proposing mess, but he proved you wrong
you’re touched, honestly
it’s literally been about a day and a few hours since you met him but you kinda understand why so many kings tries so hard to marry their child off to jaehyun
“when i heard you play from a distance just now…”
he trailed off
you snapped out of your own train of thoughts and gave your attention to him
“it reminded me of my grandmother, she’s… well, she’s no longer with me now, but she used to play this guzheng when i was a boy,”
“i don’t have much memory of her, but i remember her playing this elegantly so clearly”
you’re kinda in daze
like wow did he just opened up to you
jaehyun chuckled
“sorry, i got a little nostalgic there” he laughed
you laughed too, “no worries” you told him
he looked over to you, and smiled
“are you sure you’re ready for marriage, your highness?”
you were taken aback with his sudden question
but then again, jaehyun has been doing nothing but surprise you so far
so you decided to just be honest
you shrugged
“i honestly don’t know, but i don’t mind, either. if i’m being married off to the right person, then all is fine.”
“will you mind if i marry you then?”
you choked on your own saliva lmAo
you’re like WHAT
but you can’t just scream that to his face wtf
“are you serious?”
he nodded confidently
“i’d love to get to know you, you’re a curious one, dear”
you smiled shyly
HE CALLED ME DEAR AGAIN!! IF HE DOES IT AGAIN I’LL GET A HEART ATTACK
“i’m just an idiot.” after a long pause, you finally joked, and he laughed
and there it is again, that laugh that sounds so much like a tune
“it’s refreshing to have a trainwreck around me, you know? every second i’m with you, you never fail to amuse me.”
there it is again, those damned warm, nice and encouraging words that could melt the snow during the cold, cold winter
he called me a train wreck, but it’s okay, i am a train wreck
“so what do you say?” he asked
you paused for a moment
i mean…
prince jaehyun is a whole package
plus he’s so nice to you
having to spend the rest of your life with somebody who treats you humanely and accepts your flaws? that’s a jackpot
“of course i’d marry you! i proposed to you, damn it!” you said, and hit him jokingly
he laughed again
and you laughed too
after a moment of laughter
you two just sat there staring at each other
jaehyun is a charmer, yes
but he’s also just a shy bean deep down
he knew this was an opportunity to kiss you or whatever
but he felt like it was too early for that
so instead, he tucked the few strands of your hair behind your ear
“i have a feeling, that you’ll be an amazing queen, one day,” he said almost quietly, almost like he was whispering
you felt touched by his words
god he’s so sweet i wanna marry this man
“we just met, but it feels like i’ve known you my whole life.” you told him with a smile
he couldn’t help it
he ended up kissing your forehead
you never thought you’d fall in love so quickly
but you did
and you fell for prince jaehyun
and you’re not worried, because jaehyun is worth falling for
#jaehyun#nct jaehyun#nct scenarios#nct fanfic#nct imagine#NCT#jaehyun scenarios#jung jaehyun#jung yoonoh#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun imagines#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun prince au#jaehyun royalty au#prince jaehyun#nct 127#nct fluff#nct x reader#jaehyun au
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ONF MEMBERS AS YOUR SIBLING (Hyojin & MK version)
Either you are related to any one of them prior both families combined through marriage. Or maybe you are the little one who is born later.
Totally doable if you are elder than them, or birthday is actually sandwiched between them (same age as Minkyun but slightly earlier birthday) or even the youngest.
My suggestion would go for the youngest. Either born later or being the younger sibling of any one of the boys.
(Being eldest of them both are pretty fun too but it will totally becomes a love hate relationship lol. So I thought being babied by both of them are not bad after all)
Some common headcanons for all scenario below:
One of the most vocalist family in all sibling au. Also,Hyojin vocal appreciation squad.
Seungjoon drops by alot as if he is adopted by your family and sometimes joins your family stuffs lol
Having pets at home
Either secondhand embarrassment because of Minkyun being funny or being crackhead with Minkyun and later gets nagged by parents lol
But also I should warn you that this is going to be somewhat chaotic duo in the family. High decibel screaming of annoyance and high decibel nagging towards each other are inevitable so rip your ears.
So let's dive in for more
Scenario 1 - you are related to Hyojin, and Minkyun being the new join
Minkyun has no trouble open up, gets comfortable and being a part of the family
Hyojin also tries to welcome his new brother. Even includes Minkyun when he hangs out with Seungjoon
You are very used to Seungjoon in your life, he is just like another brother of yours. Minkyun at first thought Seungjoon is a close relative lol
Either you are also a nagger yourself (if you are elder sibling of them both) or
You are also victim of Hyojin's nagging
But, you also know your blood brother well so you will tell Minkyun to be careful. But he still imploded Hyojin several times. Lucky for him, Hyojin does not hold grudge.
You two face palming at Minkyun's weird antics lol
One example taken from a video where Minkyun is playing at crab legs and Hyojin just look at him like aish this kid and his antics again. And yes you are the one filming it, and you sees Hyojin staring thats why you are chuckling. Minkyun thought it was because you think he is funny. But you sees a bigger picture.
Sometimes you would side on Minkyun when Hyojin being mischievous (and it might lead to weird how is your fave person battle between them if you are the youngest)
Probably Hyojin goes , hey I am your brother
Minkyun goes, but I am his/her brother too!
Minkyun going out alone to feed stray animals. At first you and Hyojin were like well, Minkyun has his own life and friends. But then you two noticed Minkyun at an alley when you two are heading home from groceries.
There is a kitten that is very much attached to Minkyun. And he is worried that his new family won't let him keep it. (Maybe Minkyun's side parent did mention that your family never have history of having a pet, thats why Minkyun can only feed it secretly)
You and Hyojin decided to persuade your parent. Thankfully both parents agreed.
Minkyun being a massive helper taking stuff from higher places. It could be he sees you trying take stuffs by standing on a ladder, he would rush over to help holding the ladder (even though its very stable). Maybe low-key nagging at you why you did not ask him for help.
Minkyun instant faves Hyojin and admires his voice the moment you 3 hang out at karaoke
RIP YOUR EARS BECAUSE THEY WILL BE SINGING TEARS AND HITTING ALL THE HIGH NOTES
Scenario 2 - you are related to Minkyun and Hyojin being the new join
I totally can see your blood brother Minkyun takes advantage of his height and bullies you. Holding up your stuff high and you are jumping around him. Cues in Hyojin just pass by and kicks Minkyun at his shin without a word.
If you are the sensible one, you would bond with Hyojin quicker, again due to Minkyun's weird antics lol
Hyojin inviting Seungjoon coming over to stay overnight. Your family very much welcome Seungjoon.
Occasionally Seungjoon voice out to you about how he felt relieved that Hyojin is being comfortable with the new family.
Hyojin being a happy kid because the new household can have pets.
It will be funny if your family pet open up to Hyojin and then ignores Minkyun (inspiration drawn from Minkyun's VLive)
Example if you have a dog/puppy at home, when you three comes back, it will pounce at Hyojin, let's you ruffle its head but then when Minkyun calls its name, the dog just turns and ignore him lol
You and Minkyun would bring Hyojin to pets cafe or pet shelter.
Maybe sometimes finding Hyojin sleeping on the couch or sitting on the couch at living room because he had trouble sleeping.
Also finding Hyojin sneaking instant food from the fridge. Or waiting his instant noodle to be done at the kitchen.
Either he bribes you with food or you join him for late night supper
Its a surprise to you that Hyojin actually can be mischievous. Especially when he is with Seungjoon.
This is one headcanon I forgot to include in previous but I think it is even better to include in here. This is due to I feel that Minkyun's family are more pure in personality.
Hyojin hiding his tattoos in the beginning because he did not want your parent to think he is a bad kid or being bad influence. But later when found out, they all accept it just fine. Maybe you and Minkyun ask him the history and reason for both of his tattoos.
Bonus if you get a tattoo later on as well
Scenario 3 - you are the child born later
People are going to be jealous of you because your brothers are damn good looking
They get even jealous if you, Hyojin, Minkyun and Seungjoon go out in a group
You feel like you have 3 elder brothers lol
Both Hyojin and Minkyun very much anticipates your arrival to the family.
Minkyun might try hard to make the baby you smile. While Hyojin mostly in charge of feeding you.
Piggy back and shoulder ride by Minkyun
Alot of clapping of praising and encouragement towards baby and toddler you.
Hyojin and Minkyun both are supportive but in a different way. Minkyun is the total lets go for it time but Hyojin would be if its planned nicely and you are sure of it then ok you can do type
Hyojin as a helper of your parents video recording the growth of baby you.
You are so used to hearing both Hyojin and Minkyun singing at home
When you grown up more, maybe you have a crush with Seungjoon? Probably Minkyun will try to help you out but Hyojin might try to make you fail because you are even more precious. Also the thought of his best friend being in laws is just weird lol
A/N : sorry for the long delay. And sorry if this one is messier than usual cos my brain is not functioning lol. See you on the next hc!
#onf#onf imagines#onf headcanons#onf scenarios#onf headcanon#kim hyojin#onf hyojin#hyojin#park minkyun#onf mk#minkyun#onf minkyun#onf j-us#lee seungjoon#lee seungjun#seungjoon#j-us#sibling!minkyun#sibling!reader#sibling!au#sibling!onf#sibling!hyojin
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Hosts reacting to their to be s/o confessing to them by serenade?
Depends if you sing good haha! lets say they can tho!
Haruhi
Oh. My. God. do you want to wake the neighbors!? a serenade might not work on her. shes not one for showy confessions and honestly is would kinda be embarrassing. her dad finds it cute though. teases her relentless about it if you guys ever start dating. will remind you she doesn't mind the singing but don’t you dare do that again!
Tamaki
BOY OH BOY! swoon central. he will be standing there a blushing mess and absolutely won over. your singing to him?! like a fairy tale book?! this form of confession will work wonderfully on him, complete with some roses and you turned the prince into a not so princely prince for a few moments
Kyoya
1. lord all mighty he’s wondering what the fuck your doing and 2, you better hope no one else is around! he doesn’t mind you singing, finds it lovely. as a confession please don’t. its not practical to him. you can however get one huge out of character blush from him so it might be worth it. also a harsh “What are you doing!?” whisper is kinda funny
Hikaru
He looks around at first like its a joke. ok, where are the cameras? he’ll laugh and add commentary during your preference like a little shit but he does like it. if you sing something about dying without him expect him to answer “then perish” because he would 100% he’ll laugh about you getting all huffy for ruining your confession attempt with being a smartass
Kaoru
will stare at you blank faced for a good minute trying to decide if this is something that’s actually happening or if he ate something weird. when you keep singing your love for him he just… goes tomato. probably looks at his brother for help who’s already recording because the chances of getting Kaoru alone is so hard. doesn’t know if he likes it or wants to die of embarrassment
Honey
doesn't realize its a confession until you tell him it was. thinks your just feeling bold and decided to do an impromptu performance or something, hes supportive. claps for you when your done and says you did a good job and probably breaks your heart accidentally. confess to him straight forward after that and he just turns red and apologies for missing the point!
Mori
he’s a quiet guy and likes simple things and i wont lie, probably would die of secondhand embarrassment. he’ll appreciates the effort but its a very quick way to scare him off! now if you guys had a quiet moment and you quoted a small poetry piece then that’s mint for him but not a full performance.
#Anonymous#ohshc#ouran high school host club#ouran highschool host club#mitsukuni haninozuka#haruhi fujioka#takashi morinozuka#hikaru hitachiin#kaoru hitachiin#tamaki suoh#kyoya ootori
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A Special Type of Magic ♡ Epel Felmier x Fem!Reader
title. a special type of magic
characters. reader (♀), epel, vil
word count. 1873
genre. self-indulgent fluff, slight crack (?)
plot bunny. epel forgot to study for tomorrow’s exam, and desperately needs his girlfriend’s help in perfecting one of the spells he’ll be tested on.
(Y/n) loved nights like these.
She was lounging on her stomach atop her boyfriend's bed, flipping through one of the best books she'd ever read, while Epel himself was seated at his desk, frantically studying for a test he had tomorrow morning.
...Right, so maybe (Y/n) was the only one actually enjoying the night, but she liked how comfortable the silence felt between them, and the fact that Epel urged her to stay with him every time she thought that her presence might have been worsening his stress.
"You're not a bother, (Y/n)," he had reassured her. "Thank you for staying with me, even though it's probably boring... I'm just trying to memorize this one last spell. Then I'll be done."
Epel had probably consumed at least seven full bottles of magic energy drink when he told her that, and he had three more afterwards. ...Which was a bit much. It was the sound of him placing down his tenth empty bottle that (Y/n) started to think something might be off—this was an awful lot of time to be spent studying a single spell.
She looked up at him from her book. "...Are you still on that last spell?"
"Yes," Epel replied. "Sorry. I thought I'd be done sooner."
"...Have you tried actually casting it yet?"
(Y/n) hadn't sensed any active magic energy come from his desk at all—he seemed to only be studying from his grimoire. "How do you expect to learn it without trying it?"
"It seemed easy enough... I just can't feel it in me like I can the other spells," Epel sighed. "Hey, um, would you mind it...if I tested it on you?"
(Y/n) paused. "...That depends on what kind of spell it is."
Epel looked taken aback. "I'd never do anything dangerous to you," he insisted. Then he turned back to his grimoire, and sifted through its pages. "It's just one we learned in the beginning of the year...when we had that unit on color manipulation, remember? This spell's on changing the color of organic matter."
"Oh, like this?" (Y/n) flicked a finger in Epel's direction. Within seconds, the hair on his head turned bright red.
"Ah...! (Y/n)!" His shoulders immediately tensed. Pushing away from his desk, he spun around to look at her with a shocked look in his eyes. "Yes, that's the spell—but please change it back!"
(Y/n) hadn't even heard him, though; she was too busy snorting at the sight of his panic-stricken face. Everyone knew the students of Pomefiore were much vainer than the other dorms, but for some reason seeing Epel freak out over a sudden new hair color felt way out of character for him. She couldn't help herself.
"(Y/n)," Epel pleaded. But his flaming hot hair and equally red cheeks did nothing to help stifle (Y/n)'s laughter—only worsened it, and she couldn't even look at him anymore else she would die all over again. "Please. This isn't funny..."
"I-I'm sorry," she mustered out between snickers. "Look in the mirror—you look like a tomato!"
It didn't help that Epel's hair had a round, bouncy volume to it, and now that it was bright red he really did look like some kind of fruit. He peered into his bedroom mirror, before visibly flinching, and then whipped around to face his girlfriend again.
He was no longer looking miserable though. Now his brows were furrowed, and with an annoyed glare he flicked his own finger in her direction.
That shut (Y/n) up immediately. Because at once, her hair melted into murky shades of orange and green, growing out long and...for some reason sticky? And she was helpless to do anything but leap from the bed, face scrunched up in disgust.
"Epel!" she shrieked. "Why is it sticky?! Turn it back! Gross!"
Except, Epel was only surprised that he had actually been able to get his spell to work. Or...sort of. Why was it sticky? He reached a hand up to ruffle his own hair, and then froze.
"I—AH! Mine is too!"
Both of them lifted their fingers again to try reversing the spell, but they quickly realized that neither were able to fix each other’s situation.
They hadn't meant to mess with the texture. And now that they couldn't reverse this, the duo had erupted into fullblown panic. A few seconds of anxious hopping around led to (Y/n) dashing out the door in search of Pomefiore's dorm leader, knowing Vil would undoubtedly be able to reverse this. Epel quickly followed suit.
But they had forgotten just how late it was. It was well into the early hours of the morning, and two frantic first-years banging on his bedroom door at two o'clock was not a very pleasant thing for Vil to wake up to. When he answered the door, he was garbed in a silk robe, golden locks perfectly disheveled. His eyes were a bit puffy, but that didn't detract from his beauty; he only looked very tired and very, very irritated.
"...What?"
"Our hair!" (Y/n) cried, not at all acknowleding the tired glower on their dorm leader’s face. She pulled at her hair with clear despair in her eyes, showing him as much of it as she could.
Vil dazedly looked between the two...before the situation registered in him. Then he snapped awake.
"...Epel? (Y/n)? Oh my god! You two look hideous!" He grabbed both of their arms, practically flinging them inside his room. "Get inside before anyone sees you!"
Vil promptly sat (Y/n) down first, and his fingers got started threading through her hair. Although, Epel was not at all pleased to be cast aside.
"...I think we're overlooking the fact that I was the first victim here," he murmured.
"Nothing to worry about," Vil said confidently. "I can fix both of you. But, tell me how this happened. A hair dye kit? A spell gone wrong? Kalim?"
"...We both cast spells on each other," Epel informed him. "I was studying one for my test, and we were just trying to change the color..."
"And you picked these colors?"
"I did Epel's hair as a joke," (Y/n) insisted. "But he was like, full of malicious intent when he cursed me. He couldn't even do the spell before he tried it on me."
"...She's right," Epel sighed. "But anyway, I didn't curse you."
"It feels like you cursed me."
Vil pulled his fingers away from (Y/n)'s hair. "Well, since this was done by magic, it must also be undone by magic. The good news is, it's an easy fix. The bad news, I can't be the one to undo it."
(Y/n) looked up at him, waiting for him to elaborate. "...How do we do it then?"
"You need a special type of magic known as « true love's kiss » ♡"
Epel felt uncomfortable shivers crawl up his spine. He turned to his girlfriend, whose lips had fallen slightly agape, unsure how to respond. "(Y/n), we should've known. This guy is nuts. Let's go find the vice..."
"Ah, wait a moment!" Vil started before they could leave. "It's not that I'm nuts. Everyone uses true love's kiss for all sorts of things. It's a very valid and efficient healing method. As long as you truly wish for it, it will heal anything that ails your partner. Now, a common misconception is that it must be on the lips, which is not true at all—I know you two are dating, so it wouldn't matter anyway, but you'll get better results if you kiss the affected area. In this case, your hair. Like this."
With zero hesitation, Vil took Epel's cheeks in his hands, and planted a swift and short kiss atop his head. Then he turned around to face (Y/n), unfazed, while Epel was locked in a state of shock by that brief interaction.
"See?" Vil asked. "Now you try—the texture will be a bit odd, but it'll make that and that hideous color disappear in the wink of an eye ✨"
"...Okay..."
(Y/n) gingerly approached her boyfriend, all of a sudden feeling very embarrassed. She'd have much rather preferred to do something like this in private...but before she even had a chance to get close to him, she noticed Epel's bright red locks had already begun to fade to their usual lavender again.
"..." She wasn't sure how to react. Neither was Epel.
"Oh!" Vil coughed. "Oh, my—looks like that worked for some reason. Well! Less work for you. Epel's turn~"
Epel was already embarrassed from being kissed on the head by their dorm leader—even more embarrassed by the fact that it worked—but he snapped out of his shock to help his girlfriend. Her eyes were staring adamantly at the floor, too nervous to look up at him, and Epel’s own eyes were squeezed shut too.
Vil experienced such severe secondhand embarrassment from how awkward they looked, that he had to intervene.
"Epel," he sighed. "It's not difficult. Just lean down, and peck!"
Epel tore his gaze over to Vil, and it was clear he was fretting over this a lot more than Vil thought. "But—"
(Y/n) interrupted him with a light, stifled giggle, and Epel grew even more embarrassed.
"Why are you laughing, (Y/n)...?"
"S-sorry, I'm just nervous..."
Vil threw his arms in the air. "Oh, you two are such first-years. I'll leave you alone for five minutes, and when I come back, this disaster better be fixed. Understood?" He flipped his hair on his way out of the room, leaving (Y/n) alone with her boyfriend.
"...That feels a bit better," she laughed.
"Sorry, I'm just... okay, um, here I go." Epel gently cupped (Y/n)'s cheeks in his hands, and closed his eyes, before planting a gentle kiss atop her head. Almost immediately, those long, dark orange-green strands returned to their usual shade of (h/c), and their usual length, and (Y/n) let out a heavy sigh of relief.
"...Is the texture back?" she asked. Epel brushed his fingers across the top of her head, feeling a few strands.
"Yes," he said. "...Sorry. I didn't know I could actually do it, much less mess it up so much..."
"Technically I started this," (Y/n) said. She gave him a soft smile. "But now you'll be able to pass your test tomorrow, right?"
"...!" Epel's lashes swept upward, just slightly. "Oh no, I forgot about that.. I still have to learn the right way to do it." He dropped his hand from his girlfriend's head, and made his way over to the door. "Okay, goodnight (Y/n), I'll see you tomorrow. I still have a little more studying to do. Oh, and thank you for buying me all those energy drinks—I'll tell Mr. S to charge me for them instead later.."
"Ah—okay! Bye!"
And Epel was gone.
Vil had been waiting outside, so that he could grab them and double-check their hair for them, but Epel had scurried past him before he could. He was able to snag (Y/n), though, and while he was prodding through her hair, he noticed she couldn't stop smiling.
"...What're you thinking about~?"
"N-nothing," (Y/n) hiccuped, trying to hide her smile. But she couldn't help it. Never had a kiss with Epel healed a problem of hers, and never had one felt so sweet. A kiss like that was so much more magical—in the literal sense too.
Even if Epel wasn't able to perfect his color spell, she hoped he knew he had a much stronger one to be proud of.
・━━━━✥◈✥━━━━・
song inspo. sakura fujiwara「i wanna go out」
[Masterlist]
#twisted wonderland#twst fics#epel#epel felmier#female reader#vil#epel x fem reader#so um....cringe#i had an idea and wouldnt let myself stop#but#i dont like the outcome 😂#maybe one day I'll fix this--
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