An entry from my journal: 12/31/2000.
12/31/00 (2000)
What is sacred to me now:
Church to me is Deva’s without the old men.
Chuck Maylen dancing away there.
Church is an Irish at the twin Peaks, in sighlence, marveling at our common parade.
My T shirts and my coffee mugs tell a tale of things I love.
Of what is sacred..Not sacred. Protected. Not exposed.
Weatherstone’s Coffee House T shirt and Pergollesie Coffee House Coffee mug this am.
The Twin Peaks bar has large plate glass windows that look out onto Castro Street. Gay and bohemian mecca.
Dad’s red sweat pants.
Jim’s white sweat Sox.
Roller pen.
“Something more” my new book.
White wine.
Queer search.
Stomach at peace.
My morning reads.
My Irish coffee noon garden sojourns.
Snuggling on the couch in the evening with HB (Jim).
Drawing a summer garden.
Walking the great Hilton property.
A tarot throw
A rune reading
Fountains and the fire (in the fire place)
Dad’s things.
End of entry
Note:
Deva’s was a restaurant in Modesto, California in 2000.
Chuck Maylen was a lawyer friend who died in September 2000, 3 weeks before my father died.
I think Deva’s had a copy of a Van Gough or Monet painting in which a couple is dancing and the man in the painting looked like Chuck.
Weatherstone’s was a coffee house in Sacramento , California I used to write in
Pergelesie’s was a coffee house in Santa Cruz, California.
Unsure what Queer search was
“Stomach at peace” refers to alcohol related stomach distress I frequently suffered from.
My partner the was Jim Wentzel. I met him at the Twin Peaks bar in San Fransisco May10,1997.
We bought a house together in Modesto.
He bought a second house on Hilton Ave about t a mile from our house. It set on 3 /4 of an acre.
We were together until Jim’s unexpected death November 9, 2009. He died in our house of alcohol related liver failure.
I have studied Runes and Tarot for over 30 years now.
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Thinking about Disco Elysium and stars. Something about communal experience and simultaneous isolation, hope and idealism, fear and beauty and terror and burning. The inherent horror in the vast romantic starscape of the sky, the melancholy and loneliness inherent in the untold distance, a communal experience of something too enormous to fathom. Stars bear witness to humanity, to the millions of tiny people crawling on the face of Elysium. They watch the people, and the people watch back, and make up stories about the stars. Stars symbolise love, hope, something unreachable and unattainable.
The way that the light of the stars reaches every single being in Elysium, from human to phasmid, but no matter how far it reaches it is still a cold and distant glow, always on the verge of going out. A moral brilliance, a holy light to strive towards, something always at risk of burning out, but there's a dichotomy too. A duality between the stars as brutal unfeeling observers, moralists even, like the aerostatics flying overhead, tiny dying lights that watch impassively over every terrible thing in the world, and the flipside; stars as the burning kernels of hope, furious burning flames that parallel Harry and his golden-orange forest fire nature. Stars as the light of communism, the star-and-antlers. They're hope and dreams- a million years in the stars. Rockstars and superstars. The light of a brighter future (however short-term that future might be) coming towards them at the end of the tunnel. It makes me think of Sacred and Terrible Air and the light pollution in Vassa- ending light pollution as the world ends. "You may laugh at this, but in the evening, when the big world in the distance swells into a bloody maelstrom, families come out into the street in Vaasa and are insignificant together. Only distant explosions disturb the deep peace of the winter night, its flawless starry sky. Everyone watches, heads tilted back." The stars are a shared experience. Something that everyone watches, insignificant together, when there's nothing more that can be done. Light in the face of darkness, community in the face of inevitability. Togetherness. The stars are there in the church with the ravers. They're there watching Harry and Kim together. Insignificant together. In dark times, should the stars also go out?
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one thing ig u have to respect twitter for is they will really let "lets all leave Twitter" trend for 14 days straight. if i were musk the first thing id ask is, can we make the trending page show some other trends instead. just blacklist "tumblr" "mastodon" from trending please
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the most affective thing I've ever watched on climate change was comedian Jordan Klepper's episode on the L'eau Est La Vie water protectors in Louisiana. Not because it was well put together or terribly comprehensive (there's a documentary that does it better) but because it was the first time I'd seen a public figure follow in activists' footsteps---and be scared so absolutely shitless, he can't quite hide it from the cameras.
these days, Klepper goes to the big political rallies and smirks and jokes, and though that can be fun to watch---it just isn't the same.
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