Tumgik
#reupload because my reblog does not show up on the tag for some reason...
54bpm · 1 year
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Tips For Vtubers
Howdy there, I’m Liv and I’m a vtuber much like you, but I’ve been here the whole time so I’m here to compile stuff for you to help make your transition less scary.
To start, here’s is a post with a lot of tips for general tumblr use and here’s one for giving your blog a custom theme.
Beyond that here’s other things that aren’t mentioned but are gonna be relevant for you:
If you’re coming back to tumblr know that you can’t follow from your sideblog, if you want to follow back it will be from your main, as will your likes, replies, asks. Decide what to do with this information now before you settle into a blog.
Fully explore the settings, there's a ton of stuff hiding in there. AND do it on PC at least once, some stuff is not in the app.
Blogs have individual block lists, no idk why either. So if you want someone banned from everything you need to do that manually.
 Also enable tumblr Labs! It’s got reblog graphs which are rad (my beloved orbs) And alternate dashboards, the Blog Subscriptions one is my fave because it means all you have to do is turn on notifications to get all your fave guys in one dashboard.
Contrary to popular belief there is still a porn and adult content community here, if you want to get anywhere near them you have to have age in bio or they’ll smite you. EDIT: I posted more about how to navigate lewdposting here.
Tiktok embeds don't play nice with tumblr for some reason, if you also do tiktok then just reupload your videos and link your account there underneath.
The link post type will show up for your followers but there’s a chance it won’t show up in any tags, so don’t do going live posts like that.
BUT you can straight up embed your stream into your posts! As long as you're using the New Post Editor you should see this menu:
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Click the video camera, link to your twitch and bam. There it is. You can also do this with the video post type! If you're ever worried about your post format getting bonked just go through the tags and see what posts that DO make it are doing. Together we can overcome spaghetti code.
General "tumblr culture" is to not comment on posts but its not one thats set in stone, your fellow small vtuber account is probably dying for interaction so comment on posts! scream in the tags! send funny asks! Getting interaction right now is going to be a big comfort during a weird time.
Oh yeah we have ask boxes built in, no marshmallow needed.
ALSO we have pinned posts just like twitter, but as long as you want! Put your ref & socials & art tag (yes you can keep your fanart tags) & your minors DNI & a picture of your cat if you want.
OH I do suggest picking out tags for your personal content if you plan to also do reblogging, makes it easy for newcomers to find what you're doing.
#vtuber and #indie vtuber are full of fanart for the big guys. If you wanna find each other use #vtuber uprising
Okay this post is getting so long but final tip: check out custom pages. They're on the custom theme menu and they're basically mini webpages on your blog that can have their own coding. You can do Literally Whatever. Lore! Credit page! Ref sheets! I once put a choose your own adventure where you navigated by clicking specific parts of a picture on tumblr pages. I Mean Anything.
That's all for now, please add other tips if you want. And please reblog! Not just this post but other peoples too! This will all be way less of a drag if we can find each other. 💖
EDIT: One more thing, lolisho shit Does Not Fly here. They are some of the only tags that tumblr has actually shadowbanned and there is a reporting criteria for it to get taken down. It also doesn't fly on my blog! Begone!!
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temporal-scribe · 3 years
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Updated!
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Updated the comic for SG’s reveal. uwu
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onychaos · 4 years
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Observing Tumblr bugs
So I did some more work digging and observing around on tumblr wondering why posts are missing in on dashboard search tags, since you know? You have the power to search for terms in a post or tags on the dashboard. I also noticed that some posts don’t show up at all..
UPDATE 2/13/2020: Gonna update this post. As a warning, retweets of the post don’t have updated info
So, for WordPress when post don’t show up, you would change the date the post was made (The current time and date) and it would be added back to WordPress search where everyone can see it.
With WordPress, It’s a very easy fix to deal with. Not really a problem when you think about it.
Now with Tumblr, Dear lord. I can kinda see why Tumblr is seen as a hellsite.. Mainly for the issue, the site breaking search engine. It’s a mess..
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So, for tumblr, it’s very different. Things I noticed.
A notice: Should go without saying but if your blog and posts are adult themed and not meant for anyone but adults, your posts will never show up. You can show a like of things but porn is a no go here.
1. There are some tags on Tumblr that will show your post for 10 mins+ before removing the post from the tags recent tab. If your post is popular (I.E. 3 notes or more) It will still show up there.
The tags I know where this happens is the tags “Twitter”, “WordPress” Let me know if you know of any other tags that act like this.
1.2 There are times when your post has 5 main tags but they won’t or don’t show up in search or tags. Retagging works in some cases but most of the time, it does not work.
2. Sometimes when you have 5 tags you want your post to be found in dashboard search, they just don’t show up. Sometimes if they showup, they show up on a new post (i.e. Re-upload) with the same tags will fix the problem.
2.1 Please remember this, as it may be another reason. If you have links in your post that are blacklisted, remove them. I can not say if having blacklisted links after the URL ban dropped may affect your post in the future or not.
Tags make it easier for readers to find posts about a specific topic on your blog. For instance, you could tag your landscape photographs with #landscape or posts about your butler with #butler. Tagging your posts is as easy as you’d expect. When you create a post, enter the tags in the field at the bottom of the post form.
Tips:
You don't need to put a tag in quotes or start with a hash symbol (#).
Hit enter to separate each tag.
Only the first 20 tags on a post will show up in searches. After that, you’re just tagging for show.
Tags on Tumblr can have spaces in them. They are the most legible tags on the internet. Hooray! - Tagging your posts
3 It also seems the URL ban + being able to search posts for terms in the post or tags has had a weird effect on posts. Reblogs don’t count, as they only show up on your blog and not searchable
I was looking in a part of tumblr called “tags not working” and I’m not the only one with this issue. Some post seems to suggest the election day and/or tumblr tag system is broken (No shock about it being broken)
Search for multiple tags or terms
To search for multiple tags or terms, all you have to do is use the right syntax. For example:
picnic lunch - returns posts with the terms “picnic” and “lunch” anywhere (e.g., #picnic basket, or #lunch break, or a post using the word picnic).
#picnic lunch - returns posts with the #picnic lunch tag.
#picnic #lunch - returns posts with both #picnic AND #lunch tags.
There is a 4th option that a user or bot may have reported your post for spam or  mass Automation by a user/bot. (If you post too much) If you use tags that someone thinks is not fitting for a post of yours or if you used any import tools to upload posts from one site to Tumblr. You may fall under this rule..
What I can assume is that Tumblr system for keeping spam like post out of search + the URL ban + being able to search posts by terms / any tags has hit a great number of posts made by users..
If that is the case, you have to re-upload the post to see in search or find it by terms.
I will talk about this later..
And there is a 5th option which I can’t prove to be true or false.. I have heard the porn bots that like or retweet your posts is another reason to why your posts may not show up in search / tags but can not prove this but something to keep in mind..
If you have a secondary blog account on your main that posts or reblogs adult things, be careful, I can’t say how much this may or may not affect you since there no way to test this but keep that in mind
I don’t know if adult blogs that like / reblog your posts will affect you or not.
There is one last option.. And this is a very extreme case.. but..
If your posts aren't appearing on Tumblr-wide tag pages, it might be because your blog is pretty new and we need to make sure you’re not a robot or a spammer.
Make sure you’ve verified your account via the email we sent when you joined Tumblr. Once you’ve used your account for a while (and done normal, human things with it like follow other blogs and like or reblog posts), your posts will start appearing on tag pages.
If you are a robot or a spammer, you should visit our article about account deletion.
On the help center page for Troubleshooting tags. The post I quoted worries me. There could be a chance your account is marked as a robot or a spammer. If, at that point happens.
You have 2 options. 1. Contact Tumblr support and tell them your problems and pray to god that they do something to help out, and hope they don’t send a automatic response which can amount to “we will try to do something but won’t“
2. Backup your blog, make a new account and re-post everything there by hand, and let your followers know of the new account. Your current account may be marked as a spammer account or a robot.
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So… How do you get your post to show back up on Tumblr Dashboard search with the power to search for terms and any tag on your post, and tags that are after the 5th tag on posts?
ANSWER: Re-upload the post or posts that is not showing up in tags or is no longer searchable on Tumblr Dashboard. It’s the only current fix to the problem for why posts are no longer showing up in tags / searched by terms
Update:  
treygocray said: onychaos HEY! I got it to work. Delete all your tags on the photo and re-tag it. Mine worked so I thought I’d share! :D
This does work but if the post didn’t have a banned link. This is worth a shot but be warned that your post may fall under the 5 tag or less rule.
end update
For users who only reblog or like, this will not affect you. But those who don’t reblog and make posts, this affects us greatly. When our posts can’t be seen by other users besides followers.. I don’t man, not feeling it since most followers may / are no longer active.
Since the dashboard search engine is awful and tumblr @staff don’t seem to want to fix this issue or know how to fix the issue. This is the only way from what I tested.
If you have this issue but don’t want to re-upload posts to fix it. You have to go by the 5 tags can be searched, and you can’t term and your posts may or may not show up in tags. I could be wrong but I know there are people who don’t want to use a wrong around for this bug if you got more then 50 posts.
You can test to see if your posts are searchable by making an empty tag that has never been used, ever. Then go to mass post editor and add the empty tag as the 6th tag to 30 or 20 posts at a time and search the said tag.  If your posts that you tagged with the empty tag show up in that tag under the “most recent” search and not tagged.
A empty tag (Your username) seems to be able to hold 40 or 20 of your posts at a time. That’s why it is best to do 20 or 10 to test them. You may need to wait a bit as there is delay for posts to show up. Or you can add the empty tag to 3 of your post as the 6th tag or anything after the 5th tag works.
However, if the tag being used is brand new or barely used it can affect some post from what I tested.
Brand new tags (Never used aka no posts in the tag) Can hold 40 of your posts.. Sometimes it can hold more?
non-empty tags (Tags that get used once in a while) Can hold 3 posts and there is a post delay
Very active tags can hold 3 post but if you post a lot, your older posts in a tag will be hidden after a fourth post is made but will show back up after a week or so. Sometimes Tumblr may break and the post might not show back up if hidden and you probably have to reupload it or re-tag?
If you see the post in most recent or popular search, your posts can be found by terms / any tag but this is me just observing and testing about 20 posts
Now should say this. New tags that never been used can hold 40 of your posts sometimes more? But this is if you are trying to search by term and not tags
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This means users can search for your posts by tags and tags after the 5th tag as well or terms in your posts on tumblr dashboard. (That is good, very good)
Because I tried to bring my posts from WordPress to Tumblr via a defunct import tool named wp2tumblr and as a result of my post falling under these  rules of spam here what I took note of.
Posts that don't show up or can not be seen working well in tags or at all and not coming up in the search terms. Out of 147 posts.  only 113* of my posts do not show up right in tags or search nor can they be searched by terms or tags (Some tags do not show these post after 2 weeks. You have to wait a week to see them but nothing happens..)
So only 34+ posts can be searched by tag / terms / seen in tags or searched by terms
113 posts have bugged / shadow flagged for spam / search from the effects of using wp2tumblr to import my wordpress posts to tumblr..
Only way to fix this is by re-uploading the post to allow it to be found in tumblr tags and search terms.
Again, if you don’t see your post show up in search or tags, you will need to re-upload the posts in question.
And for me, I hate having to re-upload posts to have them be seen again but I will have to do it if I want my posts to be seen. Even if that means re-uploading my rants, vents, talking about users, and other things. So you will be seeing me upload some posts that may be 2017 or 2018 related.
Your followers may or may not be annoyed with you as a heads up if you re-upload posts to fix this issue.
And even if you do this, there is no 100 % plan yet or there is a chance someone may see you re-upload a post as spam.. Or the post may not show up later
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But I thought I share what I have been observing how things been working on tumblr. If anyone has a better way of dealing with this, let me know.
Because when you make a new post, it is seen in tags / search. And it is searchable be terms or tags after the 5th tag
Again, if your post is not showing up in tags, re-upload the post in question and it will be back in search to be seen by everyone
However, another issue came to me. If you reupload the post it can be found in search and by terms.. now however If you edit/delete the tags when having more then 5 tags on the post and go down to 5 or less. 
Your post may fall under the 5 tags or less rule and may also lose the right to search for that post by terms but something to look out for.
Update: It seems some of my new posts are not searchable by terms anymore.
I contacted Tumblr Support but got a fast reply but it was a copy and paste. I don’t know what Tumblr Staff is doing but it’s anything but helpful.
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Here a list of my posts that got hit or don’t show up.. I added clear to the post name meaning it works / shows up. I need to look at all of them. I have since deleted some old posts so this list is outdated and this is not all of the posts yet..
Some post below don’t have the right name but keep that in mind
Nothing important below. :3
my plans for 2017 - clear 12:20 AM 12/11/2019
a new discord server archive it - 11:16 PM 12/10/2019
Twitch channel updates - archive it 11:16 PM 12/10/2019
Sonikchan update archive it - 8:08 PM 12/10/2019
Updates for Sonikmage twitch archive it - 8:08 PM 12/10/2019
Sonik muffins - clear 7:34 PM 12/10/2019
Future Update archive - 4:13 AM 12/11/2019
Shutting down Sonikmage twitter archive - 12:21 AM 12/11/2019
My little guide to streaming archive - 4:13 AM 12/11/2019
New twitch streams archive - 4:14 AM 12/11/2019
Twitch rant
mini twitch rant
one trick pony archive - 4:14 AM 12/11/2019
Sonic adventure SX 2018 clear - 12:02 AM 12/11/2019
how I been feeling
game progress
sonic speed R 2018
update log 6
The Tumblr purge
game dev update 2
game overhaul
kyle and lucy
Tumblr purge 2
Done with Pangya
Tumblr purge AM
Last speedrun to do
Twitch and youtube let's play
srb2 teleport
Sonic beta clear - 3:35 PM 12/11/2019
twitter rant
facebook update
srb2 update
Speedruns I plan to do clear - 10:03 AM 12/15/2019
Second Discord channel update
how to use twitter
Thoughts on SXSW
Thoughts on Sonic Speed 2017
What's next for me?
Thoughts on Pangya celebrity
Thoughts on Pangya celebrity big ann clear - 8:58 PM 12/17/2019
Thoughts on speedrunners
Why do you stream?
New personal discord channel update 3
Sonic adventure 2 livestream
New thoughts on Pangya c
A side project
Mini server update +
sonik rp story clear - 10:05 AM 12/15/2019
another twitch rant
birthday livestream
my thoughts on spinball
The future for sonic 1 hell
Zelda shine hunting
Sonic Forces custom character
Revio shutting down
new personal discord server clear - 9:32 AM 12/15/2019
SRB2 forfeit rules clear - 9:30 AM 12/15/2019
my forum
moving out update
duel link replays
Mario Maker 2 experience
My Tumblr experience
Gave Pangya debug one last shot
Frozen Snowman Land - clear 9:30 AM 12/15/2019
Images of my fan game
venting about video games
changes and moving forward
sadx question
Playing duel links on twitch
Hyper's quest 2
video of srb2 kart
srb2kart rainbow road
mini update about my posts clear - 9:31 AM 12/15/2019
levels i forgot
srb2kart darkvile garden
tumblr theme bugs clear - 9:32 AM 12/15/2019
SRB2Kart final fall
Beaten nep
Zelda BOTW master mode stream
My review sonic spinball
streams this weekend
Why I dislike twitch fight streams
Thanks for watching
A long vent / rant
A message to a friend
Cyberscore review
What I done in 2 months
Youtube planned let's plays
My goals for 2018
Final post on speedrunning
Clicker heroes 2 thoughts
final Pangya c post
Chaos realm race nights
My CyberScore Ideas
New Start
Sonic Gather Battle
Pantufa the cat dx review
SRB2 review
Dungeon Souls revisit
Sonic R review
update log
my new server updates
Sonic World R8 review
Pangya C tea time
Sonic and Shantae 2017 demo
Sonic ages 2017
Update on Sonic hell
Sonic Forces review clear - 3:51 AM 12/12/2019
Battle for the internet act 3
game mode ideas
New changes for this year arc - 2:57 AM 12/12/2019
Sonic Mania delay archive second account -
rant: twitter archive
2 rants for the price of one
Twitch bits
Sonic Mania stream today archive - 4:44 PM 12/11/2019
SRB2 testing clear - 9:29 AM 12/15/2019
Sonic Grand Adventure clear - 10:03 AM 12/15/2019
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staticscreenwriting · 5 years
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All you have to be is here - Part 5
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Synopsis: Billy has fucked up and has to do 60 days of community service at a home for troubled kids and youth. Working with the kids there makes him learn a lot about himself. Also there’s a girl there his age whohas a phenomenal smile and who is way too nice to him.
I guess I should mention there’s a lot of angst in this. Talk of substance abuse later on, physical abuse, emotional abuse. All that kind of gnarly real life stuff. It deals with kids and teens struggling with a a shitty family life so be aware of that.
Part 5 of ?
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
Had to reupload because I forgot to tag and once I added the tags it wouldn’t show up under “most recent”. Please help a girl out by reblogging. Thank you ♥
[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.  I’ll make a header image at some point.]
I never really ever felt so adored before Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable Don’t have to hide, don’t have to fear All you have to be is here Never really ever felt so adored before And I said I wanna feel like this forever Even if forever’s just for now We’re on fire, let us burn As the outside world, it turns We are here and alive In our corner of time Forevermore
The Arcade smells like sweat, cream soda and cool ranch doritos. Some radio friendly pop song is playing from the overhead stereo and the flashing lights of the games are driving Billy slightly mad.
He lets his eyes scan the room for the familiar mop of fiery red hair while his fingernails are digging into his palms creating crescent shapes on his skin. It’s a nervous habit he’s picked up a while ago.
She’s not here. She’s not here. The voices in his head call out to him as his heart speeds up beat by beat. She’s not here and you’ll have to suffer the consequences.
She’s not here and you’ll have to suffer.
There’s a guy leaning against the front desk, flicking through a magazine while stuffing his face with handful after handful of chips.
“ Hey uh— “ Billy approaches and glances at guy’s the name tag “— Keith, you seen a little girl around ? Bout this tall, red hair ? “
He’s met with a scowl and a raised eyebrow.
“ Why ? “
His blood starts to boil. The last thing he needs right now is this nerd giving him an attitude.
“ ‘cause she’s my sister and I was supposed to pick her up and take her home but I can’t see her anywhere. “
“ Max ? “
Billy wonders for a second if he should be concerned that this weird dude knows his sister by name then again Max spends a shit ton of time here so really It’s not too surprising.
“ Yeah, that’s her. So ? “
“ Mmh. She left like an hour ago. “ Keith says then looks back down at his magazine effectively ending the conversation.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Billy hurries back outside, dusk coloring the sky is hues of orange and pink.
She’s probably at the Sinclairs’ place or the Wheelers’ or wherever the fuck her and her friends hang out these days. To check all the places in hope to find her would take pretty much the whole evening and in the end, what difference will it make ? Neil’s gonna chew him out one way or another.
So he drives home sans Max, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turn white. Those are the moments that make him feel like he’s 8 years old again, getting yelled at during baseball practice for not sliding the way his dad has told him to. It makes him feel just the way he did at 9 sitting at the kitchen table watching his dad scream at his mom, calling her names.
It makes him feel like a small vulnerable child.
Lost.
Broken.
Scared.
                            Billy drags himself through the door, drops his keys in the little decorative bowl and throws his jacket over the recliner before trudging towards the kitchen. Every steps feels harder than the next, as if his feet get heavier and heavier the closer the gets to his dad. Like a cow on the way to the slaughterhouse.
Neil sits comfortably by the dining table, newspaper in hand while Susan is buzzing around the room preparing the food and cleaning up all at once. Billy doesn’t think he’s ever seen his dad help around the house, ever. Not back when mom was here and not with Susan.
At the sound of his steps, both Neil and Susan turn towards the door and focus on Billy. Neil’s eyes hold the familiar cold stare. There’s absolutely no warmth in them, no hint of tenderness, love, anything positive really. Billy wonders if there ever has been. If there has been a time when Neil felt some kind of affection towards anyone. He truly can’t remember a time when his dad was treating him particularly nicely but mom or Susan surely had to have had a reason to marry this man. There must have been something redeeming about him.
“ Where’s Max. “ Neil barks at his son.
Well hello to you too.
“ She wasn’t there. I went to pick her up. She wasn’t there. “
Billy is painfully aware that his words mean nothing to Neil, that whatever he says to defend himself is just a drop of water on a hot stone. It’s for nought. It makes no difference.
“ So you just left ? “ Neil replies, neatly folding the newspaper and getting off his chair. He moves agonizingly slow, calculates every move as a predator would before going in for the kill.
“ What was I supposed to — “
“ Did I or did I not, tell you to bring Max home ? “ Neil interrupts.
“ She wasn’t there, dad. I’m not her babysitter. I don’t know where all her friends live. If she runs off how is that my fault ? “
He’s gonna have to face the consequences one way or another, might as well get his frustrations out. Billy knows that talking back isn’t the smartest idea but he’s also incredibly thick headed. His mom never raised a quitter but maybe she did raise a fool and that’s one hell of a combination.
“ I’m sorry ? “ his dad asks, thick mean eyebrows raised in mock confusion. He’s heard him alright.
“ You heard me alright. I was there when I was supposed to be there. It’s not my fault she— “
His head hits the wall before he can even finish the sentence. Neil grips his jaw so tightly Billy is sure he’s gonna leave bruises. Again.
“ You are her older brother. You’re supposed to take care of her. Be responsible. I thought I raised you right but it seems you’re just as much of an irresponsible brat as your mother. You’re a disgrace, Billy. You disgust me. No wonder she left“.
Billy is certain that Neil knows bringing up his mother hits him where it hurts the most. Ever since she left, Neil hasn’t missed a single occasion to make Billy feel responsible for it.. In the logical, rational part of his brain, Billy knows this is bullshit. That it was the yelling, the fights, the bruises that made her leave. But there’s a part of him, the part that remembers baseball games ending in tears and smashed plates on the dining room floor.
And that part believes every single painful word coming from Neil’s lips.
That part feels overcome with guilt every single day of his life.
“ Now you listen to me, son. You go out there now and look for her and you better pray to god that you find her. “
He accentuates his words with another slap to the face effectively banging Billy’s head against the wall again before shoving him towards the door.
There’s blood running down his nose as he grabs his jacket and keys and rushes outside. Just as the door slams shut and he looks up, a pair of eyes stare back at him.
Max looks guilty, like a dog being caught doing something it knows it shouldn’t be doing. “ Billy I — “
He doesn’t stay to listen, just shoves past her and gets inside his car driving off.
It’s not Max’s fault. He know this. At least not really. It’s entirely and solely Neil’s fault. For being a fucking asshole. An abusive fucking asshole. He’s the one throwing the punches. He’s the monster here.
Though Max constantly running off, constantly rebelling doesn’t help Billy’s cause in the slightest. He knows she doesn’t do it on purpose. But the thing is, she does it anyway and he’s the one having to deal with the consequences.
Now he rather takes the punches himself than have Neil put a hand on Max but still, he wishes she could just stick to the rules a little more. Spare him some bruises.
His head is pounding, throbbing. It’s hard to focus on the street right now. Trees pass by in a blur. He knows it’s dangerous to continue driving but he needs to get away. Just a little further. Just a little.
Blood is still trickling down his nose, dripping off his chin. A glance in the rearview mirror confirms his suspicion that he looks like a fucking mess right now. He wonders if mommy dearest ever imagined this was the outcome. That this is what she left him with. Bruises and bloody noses and a head that feels like exploding any second. He wonders if she cares that she did.
The lights before him shift and shimmer, dancing before his eyes like fireflies on a warm summer’s night.
He realizes he needs to stop before his vision goes completely blurry and he ends up crashing the Camaro into a tree. Not his baby.
A sign catches his eye and he pulls the car off the road and drives up the little gravel driveway towards the building that displays in bold red letters on a big white board that this is Benny’s diner and it serves “the best burgers in all of Hawkins” — their words not Billy’s.
As he gets out of his car he can feel just how lightheaded he really is, having to hold onto the Camaro for a moment to collect himself. It’s usually bad but today is a new high or low, however you wanna see it. Billy wonders if Neil finds some sick satisfaction is seeing just what kind of damage he’s doing to his son. Seeing the marks he leaves when someone doesn’t follow the rules.
It’s all about power. It’s always been. Physically and emotionally and no matter how much Billy wants to pretend he’s in charge, that’s absolute bullshit. His dad holds it all in the palm of his hand, pulling Billy along on a set of invisible strings. He knows which buttons to push, which words to spit out. Neil knows where it hurts the most — physically and emotionally.
Before he even really thinks about it, Billy drags himself towards the payphone connected to the outside of the diner. It looks worn and dirty but he can only hope it still works.
His hands are shaky as he throws some spare change into the machine before pushing down the buttons of the number he’s never used and yet still knows by heart. Just in case.
Just in case.
Just in —
“ Hello ? “ she sounds sleepy and Billy can only imagine her hair is all over the place and her makeup is smeared, half on her face still half printed onto her pillowcase.
“ Hey, it’s me. “
“ Billy ? “
“ Mmh. Did I wake you ? “
“ I uh — no. No you didn’t. “ It’s a lie. He can tell immediately though he appreciates the thought. She doesn’t want him to feel bad, wants him to know she doesn’t mind. It makes his heart feel just a little less heavy.
“ Are you alright ? “
Is he ? No. It’s the truth. The honest answer. Though it’s not the simple answer. There is no more simple in his life. There hasn’t been in a long time.
Everything in his life is just another knot in a tangled web of anger and fear and feelings he never allowed himself to feel.
What does he tell her though ? Yes, and lie. Or no and try to figure out just how to explain his entire shitty situation over a pay phone call.
He doesn’t answer at all. Because this question calls for a simple answer and he has none of those.
“ Do you know Benny’s diner ? “
“ In Hawkins ? Yeah. Why ? “
“ Can you — “ he takes a deep breath.
This is so awfully familiar. Can you come ? Can you stay with me ? Can you rescue me from this all consuming darkness that never seems to go away ?
He’s asked his fair share of questions just like that. Can you please come home. Can you ? Can you, mom ? I miss you.
He doesn’t want to ask again now because hearing the answer he’s heard all those other times, will break his heart. — No.
“ Can I what ? Come around ? Is that where you’re calling from ? Lemme just get dressed and I’ll be there, okay ? “
His heart breaks right there. Then reassembles. There’s still pieces missing but for a moment, for a fleeting second it feels like some of the cracks are temporarily filling up.
“ You sure ? “
“ I’m sure. Always !“
“ Okay.  “
“ Okay. Hey Billy ? “
“ Yeah ? “
“ Can you go inside and safe us a booth. And order me some cheese fries and a cherry coke ? “
He smirks at that, wipes the blood from his face and leans his forehead against the wall.
“ Always. “
                            Billy’s fingers nervously play with the chipping wood of the table before him. He can see the waitress eyeing him with an unreadable expression. He’s not sure if she regards him with worry or lust — or both.
She’s about to do her third round to refill his glass of water, when the bell above the door chimes up and figure rushes inside, denim jacket wrapped tightly around herself.
(Y/N) plops down across from Billy, hair wild and face void of all makeup. He can faintly make out a pillow print on her right cheek.
“ Hi, sorry it took so — oh my god. “
There’s pure and unfiltered horror on her face. As if she’s looking straight at a murder scene.
“ It’s that bad, huh ? And here I thought I could charm you with my exceptionally good looks. “ he jokes. She doesn’t laugh though. Not even a little bit. Not even a smirk or a grin. Nothing.
Instead her eyes hold a deep worry he hasn’t seen from anyone but her in such a long time, it still feels otherworldly and incredibly foreign to him.
“ What happened ? “
That’s the thing. Nothing happened. Nothing out of the ordinary and maybe that’s the biggest tragedy of them all.
Billy shrugs “ Guess my dad just isn’t my biggest fan. “
He can see just then it all clicks in her head. The bruises and the bloody nose and the constant state of anger.
“ Oh Billy “ she says, her voice but a whisper. “ Oh god. “
Before he can comprehend what’s happening she’s slid out of her side of the booth and sits down next to him. Her arms wrap around him and she buries her face in the crook of his neck. She’s warm and soft and gentle and it’s the complete opposite of the touches he’s used to from his dad.
He decides then, that her hugs are definitely in his top 5 list of favorite things on this earth.
(Y/N) slowly pulls away then gingerly cups his face trying to examine the damage.
Her eyes are glistening with unshed tears just waiting to fall. Billy doesn’t think he’s even close to be deserving of her worry, her affection and her love. But there is no way in hell he’s gonna reject it. He needs it. My god, he needs it so terribly.
“ Pretty boy, what am I gonna do with you ? “ she softly murmures, he assumes it’s just as much a question to herself as it is to him.
If only he had any idea how to answer it.
“ You think I’m pretty ? “
It doesn’t take away the gravity of the situation, the insanely heavy burden resting on them both. It does make her smile though and that’s more than he can ask for right now.
                            They spend the next hour at the diner, sharing some cheesy fries and listening to the 50s records playing over the stereo. (Y/N) doesn’t leave his side, not for a single second. He’s grateful. Having her close feels like things aren’t about to fall apart any second. She’s filling the cracks with smiles and warmth. She’s holding the seams together with soft touches and whispered words of affection.
“ Tell me something “ he says after stuffing another load cheesy fries into his mouth.
“ What do you want me to tell you ? “
“ I dunno. Something about you. I feel like you know a lot about me and I don’t know shit about you. “
She looks pensive for a moment, deep in thought as if carefully calculating just what secrets she wants to spill to Billy at 11pm in a diner at the edge of town.
He can’t fault her for that. Opening up is terrifying.
“ My mom died when I was 12 “ she replies after a moment of silence.
“ I’m sorry “.
She nods then leans her head against his shoulder “ she was a great mom. She loved me so much we were pretty much best friends, did everything together. Things were really tough for us but she always tried so hard to make life fun and happy for me. “
His mom did try, for a while. He always believed she loved him too. Then she ran off with some dude name Jeff she met at fucking Cracker Barrel. Seems like there was only so much love from her to be given to other people. And in the end Jeff won out over Billy.
“ What about your dad ? “
(Y/N) closes her eyes and takes a deep breath “ My dad was in jail for pretty much the biggest part of my childhood. Never for long but soon as he got out he found a way t get back in. When he was home he was — a rollercoaster of a person. He had times when he was the most fun person in the world, taking me to the fair and the movies and making up stories of make believe worlds. I love that man, that dad. But there were times, and they got more and more as time went on, when he was angry and scary and violent. Never to me but my mom was always on the receiving end of his wrath. I sat in my room covering my ears hoping the yelling would stop but then also fearing the moment it would because the silence was even scarier. When she was yelling at least I knew she wasn’t slumped on the floor bleeding or crying. “
There’s cold and hot shivers running up and down his spine as he listens to her story. If there’s one person in this world that he wishes he could take the pain from, it’s (Y/N). If he could just take it from her and put it all on himself, he would.
“ I was 10 when I called the police after finding my mom unconscious on the living room floor and dad gone. They arrested him again, put up a restraining order. Mom and I moved to Hawkins to be with my grandparents. Then she got sick. She died when I was 12 and I stayed with my pop and nan for a while but they — they’re old. They aren’t fit to raise a teenager so when I was 15 I got myself emancipated. That’s why I work at HHTCY. It’s a requirement to show that I am capable of living on my own and being responsible. Dad tries to contact me every once in a while. I don’t want to see him though. As far as I am concerned my father died along with my childhood when I had to pick my mother off of the floor, bleeding and unconscious. “
Billy doesn’t know what to say, there’s no words in the english language to properly express just how sorry he is that she had to go through this. How much he wishes she didn’t. How much he just wants all the pain gone and wrap her in up in quilt of safety and warmth.
So he doesn’t say anything, just pulls her closer and places a kiss on her head.
“ Pretty girl, you’re probably the most badass person I know. “
She sniffles then glances up at him with a tiny smile “ you think I’m pretty ? “
                            When they arrive at (Y/N)’s place, Luke the cat runs up to them, rubbing himself on Billy’s leg and purring up a storm. Though he never considered himself to be a cat person, Billy can admit that he’s warming up to this one particular feline. Luke is fat and happy and content. Maybe Billy is even a bit envious of him. Oh to be a housecat. What a glorious life.
(Y/N) disappears in her room for a moment and Billy let’s himself slump down on the couch. His head feels better though it’s still lightyears away from feeling good. The night feels like a goddamn hurricane of emotions. His mind was so loud at first, felt like it was never gonna shut up with thoughts of what is and what could be. Now it’s quieter, softer. Like a cozy blanket has been draped around him. To keep out the cold. The noise.
Billy kicks off his boots and takes off his red shirt leaving him in a white wife-beater. Just as he is about to lay down on the couch and settle down for the night, the door to (Y/N)’s bedroom opens and she calls out to him.
“ Billy ? “
“ Hmm ? “
She doesn’t reply, just reaches out her hand towards him waiting for him to take it.
He does. No question asked. He doesn’t know what it is about this girl, and quite honestly it terrifies him, but he would follow her to the end of the earth. Something about her puts things in perspective. No matter how cheesy it sounds, how much it makes him look like a pussy, but this girl has changed his life in the matter of about a week. This girl has brought some kind of sunshine to him. Has put parts of his heart back where they belong.
Her hand looks tiny in his. It’s such a stark contrast, her soft smooth skin against his all rough and calloused. It shouldn’t feel right but it does. It feels like it the only thing that’s right in his life. It feels perfect.
“ I can not let you sleep on the couch in this condition. I — it’s too small for you and it’s uncomfortable. “
“ It’s alright. “
She just shakes her head. “ I don’t want you to sleep alright. I want you to sleep well. Comfortable and warm and cozy. “
She has the most gorgeous eyes he’s ever seen. Like stars. How fucking cheesy.
“ So what, you gonna let me sleep in your bed ? “ he jokes, teasingly raising his eyebrow.
He thinks his heart about stops when she bites her lip and nods, pulling him towards her bedroom. And it’s not because of any sexual implications. This feels so much more intimate than casual sex ever could. Just the mere thought of falling asleep next to her sends a weird tingling sensation through him. To fall asleep holding her. To wake up next to her. Messy hair and pillow print and sleepy eyes and tired smile and all.
“ Okay. “ and this time it’s his words that don’t come out as more than a whisper.
                            The morning sun shines through the curtains of (Y/N) bedroom window, enveloping the room in a golden glow.
Billy opens his eyes to the sudden brightness lighting up the room. A glance at the clock on (Y/N)’s bedside table tells him that it’s 9:42, they’re already late for school might as well sleep in. After last night’s events neither of them thought of setting an alarm.
Billy looks beside him to the sleeping girl still blissfully unaware of anything but her dreams. He hopes they’re good ones. A selfish part of him hopes there’s a place for him there somewhere in her dreams.
It’s a strange sensation to wake up in a girl’s bed when he hasn’t had sex with her. He doesn’t think it ever happened before. Strange. Not uncomfortable though. Not at all.
As if sensing someone looking at her, (Y/N) grumbles in her sleep then reaches out towards Billy. When her hands find his arm, she crawls closer towards him and cuddles into his side as if it’s no big deal. And maybe it isn’t. Friends cuddle all the time, right ?
Thing is, it IS a big deal. At least to Billy it is. He’s not cuddled with anyone is such a long time. He definitely doesn’t cuddle his hookups. That’s way too intimate. Way too personal.
Billy Hargrove never thought of himself as a cuddler but as he pulls (Y/N) closer and feels her warm and soft against him, he thinks he might have been wrong about that. If this is what cuddling feels like, he’s definitely a cuddler.
So he closes his eyes again to fall back to sleep with the girl in his arms that changes everything.
                            “ Can’t believe you convinced me to skip school. You’re a bad influence Billy Hargrove. “
Driving along the roads of Huckley, sunshine flooding the streets, the two chew away on their late late breakfast to go. Having agreed that there was no point in going to school after having missed quite a bit, the two of them decided to just head over to HHTCY a little earlier than usually.
“ We were late anyway. And don’t pretend like you don’t enjoy it. There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life. “
(Y/N) gasps “ did you just quote Star Wars to me ? Holy shit, Billy Hargrove is a nerd after all. “
“ Ah shut up. “
He doesn’t want her to shut up though. He’ll gladly listen to her ramble on about some nerdy movies he doesn’t really give a shit about if it means she’s happy. If it means he gets to see her smile.
“ So what’s on the agenda today ? “ Billy asks before taking another bite from his bagel.
“ There’s a uh — group session. “ she says, glancing at Billy. Though her eyes don’t meet his. Instead they rest on the bruises scattered across his face.
“ Why are you looking at me like that ? “
“ Mmm, you know, a lot of the kids there come from homes where they’ve experienced domestic violence. Talking about it helps them, maybe — “
“ — I’m not gonna talk about my feeling with some looney doctors “.
“ You could talk to me “.
Billy puts the car in park but doesn’t get out, just stares straight ahead trying to find the right words. He hasn’t had anyone to talk to in so long it’s hard and scary to change his ways. He wants to talk to her it’s just so much to unpack, half of it he hasn’t even dealt with himself.
“ I know that. “
“ Good, that’s all I want. Always, yeah ? “
He nods and places a soft kiss on the top of her head before getting out of the car and walking towards the big brick building.
Even her hair feels soft and warm, goddammit.
                            With every story shared Billy gets more and more angry. His blood keeps bubbling and boiling at the thought of what some of these kids have been through.
It makes him acutely aware of the bruises littering his skin. Though he’s a big guy, he can take it. These are kids. Innocent kids who don’t do anything wrong. They didn’t ask for this. The dysfunctional family dynamics. The frustration and the stress and the blame and the hurt.
What makes him even more angry, is that some of the adults in this room, professionals or not, don’t seem to grasp the situations. They have a lot of nice words the shower the kids with. They’re empty phrases though, written by someone who’s never had to go through the struggles he thinks can be overcome with positive thinking and focusing on the good in the world. The happy things.
“ Try to focus on the good things “
Enough. Enough.
Fucking enough.
“ That’s such bullshit. “
It’s the first time he’s ever spoken up in any session, ever, which means all eyes immediately focus solely on Billy. Then again, maybe it was also because of the swearing.
“ Would you like to participate in our discussion, Mr. Hargrove ? “ Lydia questions, still slightly perplexed by the fact that Billy of all people is suddenly showing interest in the conversation.
“ Sure. I said It’s bullshit ! “
“ Excuse me ? “
“ Oh you heard me. This whole thinking positive shit is old news. That stuff doesn’t work for someone who comes from a completely normal family and it most certainly doesn’t help when your dad thinks a new black eyes would really suit you. There’s no positive thoughts to fall back on when you’re all alone in your room with nothing but yelling from downstairs and the fear that once this fight is over you’re the next to feel the wrath.
A positive side doesn’t exist for most things in my life. In those kids’ lives. The good stuff is fine and the bad stuff is real fucking bad. Horrible. No happy thoughts for those days when you’re covered in bruises and blood from your nose courtesy of your father’s fist. You tell those kids that one day the good is gonna outweigh the bad. How can you be so sure ? Cause I can tell you right now, so far I can’t confirm that. “
“ Billy “ (Y/N) approaches him, placing her hand on his arm. He doesn’t shake her off though he’s not finished.
“ Stop telling the kids that the storm is gonna blow over. Maybe it will but the damage is done and It’s gonna weigh down on them for a long time. A long ass time. And you get so used to feeling nothing but anger and sadness. So when a good thing comes in your life, it’s fucking terrifying., because what if this too ends up leaving, what if you mess up this good thing ? “ he says then look over towards (Y/N) then back to Lydia “ You don’t tell ‘em that, do you ? “
Billy doesn’t wait for an answer, just rushes out the room, hands clammy at the anger and frustration cursing through his system.
He leans against the cool brick wall of the building, taking drag after drag from his cigarette trying to calm his nerves, as a pair of arms wrap around his middle from behind. (Y/N)’s places her head between his shoulder blades just holding him close for a moment. Billy thinks his heart might combust right there and then. She seems to have a magical ability to take away all the anger, all the pent up rage. And in its place there’s only calm.
The cigarette drops from his hand and he toes it out before placing his hands on hers, taking one of them in his and placing soft gentle kisses on her skin.
What is this girl doing to him ? And why is it both insanely scary and absolutely wonderful ?
                                                        Taglist:
@babygal-babygal / @anxiousamandapanda / @imjusthereforsupernatural / @chhhcherybomb / @tomarisela / @noodlenerd101 / @xxcxrolinexx / @bippity-boppity-boopa / @mcrmarvelloki /
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murfeelee · 5 years
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I just want to speak my piece and voice my hopes & concerns about the ideas for a new Sims Networking site.
Disclaimer: Despite the length of this long effing post, I know absolutely nothing about creating a website, or hosting, servers, or anything like that.
In light of Tumblr’s clear and present determination to kill its own website, many ideas are being proposed about The Sims community starting its own website. This would be a safe haven for simmers, where we can all share our content without fear of overzealous censorship and nefarious politico-economic stunts and power-plays.
Having different simmers presenting different platforms and ideas about how to get a simming network started is great, and I support anyone who pitches an idea. I don’t care who figures it out, just as long as someone does, and it’s good. But at this critical point and time what the community really needs is to not be splintered -- that’s what the problem is: that when Tumblr internally combusts we’ll all mass exodus and go our separate ways (to LJ/DW, Twitter, Blogspot, WP, etc), and we won’t all be in one place anymore. :(
There’s nothing wrong with having multiple simming networks, and having a selection of simmers-only social media outlets, not at all. We do that already, with sites like TSR & MTS, etc, that embrace content from ALL the sims games (1-4, etc), but where different preferences/standards/visions naturally lead to different websites doing their own thing separately.
But I think it’s time we as a community had one main home.
IMO, ideally, it would be one that functions like Tumblr did -- just Better and More Positive. ;) It would not be moderated by admins like the other sims sites, and instead the site runners would be there strictly for site support and maintenance. We’ve been moderating the simblr side of Tumblr all these years pretty okay -- aside from the abuse/neglect of the Tags (which I hope we could come to a more unified system with on a new site).
The new site could have all the image uploading/storage and other features we enjoy (Follows, Reblogs, Likes, Comments, IM, etc) but possibly even with an additional forum aspect, with rich text text threads & private messaging, etc. Is that at all possible?
The forum half of the site could have moderators, if only to keep the threads organized, but there would be none of that censoring crap that gets users warned/banned over stupidness like language, adult content, or my personal favorite: filesharing (especially when cc users rely on WCIFs and reuploaders to share content from dead sites and creators who delete their content for one reason or another).
I’d also love to see a return of more community events:
more Simblreen-like photo prompts & challenges for other holidays & seasons
more creative contests (like the one recreating real movie posters as sims images to get featured as new cc)
more visibility for machinimas (those mofos work HARD)
the return of sims magazines for fashion & builders & whatnot
Age and Adult Content Restrictions
The Sims is a borderline Teen/Everyone/Mature-rated game. It’s got sex and violence and crude humor and weirdness that isn’t really suitable for little kids. It's at each parent’s discretion what their kids are exposed to, but most simmers are either in their teens or older (I haven’t come across any 7 year olds playing this crazy game, at least.) As such, I don’t feel this new site should be censoring/blocking adult content and nsfw. Let the tags do their jobs -- even implement a Safe Mode & parental controls if you have to.
When it comes to what the age restrictions are, can’t y’all just have a captcha or one of those buttons you click that says you’re 13+ or whatever the age needs to be? And there are pretty cool captchas out there, too -- we don’t need something as crazy as what Thaithesims had (for those of y’all who don’t know, it was freaking nuts, trust), but there are others that ask a simple math question, or makes you to click the picture of the vegetable, or some Where’s Waldo looking thing to find all the bicycles or whatever the heck. Y’all’ve seen them, I don’t know.
Again, I don’t even know what goes into making a website, and determining what it can & cant support -- or AFFORD.
And that brings me to Money:
While it’s so exciting and heartening to see different ideas coming out now, honestly, it’s not gonna work when all y’all are all asking for money and donations. That’ll have us scrambling to fund & invest in a million different people’s ideas, until someone gets a site working that we’ll actually use.
Of course we know money is THE issue, and of course websites are Expensive AF™. But it would be more realistic for all y'all to get a site up and running, have us use it and test it out, and once the community gives it our seal of approval, then start doing donation drives to keep the site/servers funded. That’s the way fan-made ad-free sites with adult content like Archive Of Our Own do it; I’ve been subscribed there for years, and they make $100k+ every drive, it’s amazing. Sites like Wikipedia & the Wayback Machine no doubt make more. (Didn’t SimFileShare fund itself to get started? They use ads, though, which might force adult content restrictions like what’s happening with Tumblr.)
I wish I had the disposable income to give to ANY of these fantastic websites that I know and love, just to show my appreciation, but I’m dirt poor, so.... But I just feel that it really shouldn’t be up to users to fund free websites, because that’s hardly better than having to pay for subscriptions to join paid sites. I don’t even like pay for CC, or DLC, or even video games at full price. So any bid for money makes me suck my teeth a bit, frankly speaking.
In Closing:
The Sims community deserves its own space, to freely express ourselves.
The Sims is unique from any other game ever made, because simmers create the stories, simmers create the content, and simmers create the gameplay -- it’s not a linear pre-determined storyline, but a more or less open-ended open-world mechanism by which the gamer decides (and can create) everything from the characters to the plots to the locations.
We’re not just posting pictures on the official forums of our customized Lara, Shepard, Geralt, Arthur Morgan or whoever beating a level or discovering a hidden location. No. We’re creating our own characters and worlds and directives, and sharing art through images, storytelling, and custom content. And we’re sharing a bit of ourselves in the process.
Tumblr used to be the one place we could rely on to embrace our individuality, freedom of speech, agency, expression, and be part of a community that supported us and our content. I don’t want the Sims community to be fractured, and certainly not die out. Y’all have been like family to me, for the 5 years I’ve been on Tumblr, and for almost a whole decade now in the online Sims community -- 2019 will make it 10 years (which is a lot, for an antisocial psychopath like me). If Tumblr fails us, I won’t know where else to go, and it really saddens me. The Sims is a Lifestyle.
So I really hope y’all movers and shakers out there who know about web development can come together, figure things out together, and create a Better, More Positive space for us to enjoy playing and sharing our love of The Sims games.
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