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hotsumiozaki · 2 years

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Oi, e ai?

Kurzes Update zu einer kurzen Nacht: Bin heute morgen, ja richtig gelesen!, ins Bett. Für Frühschichtverhältnisse ein halsbrecherisches Himmelfahrtskommando. Aber keine Panik, das gehört alles zu meinem ausgeklügelten Plan mich auf nächste Woche, wenn es wieder heißt, sich die Nächte um die Ohren zu schlagen, vorzubereiten. Wie es sich für einen Freitag den 13ten gehört, hatte ich eine ungemütliche, unruhige Nacht. Alles kein Problem, denn für die nächsten Wochen war es das mit früh aufstehen. Uns erwartet das Ausschlaf-Paradies!

Alles andere als paradiesisch ist der topsecret Report der kürzlich von einem alten Bekannten an mich herangetragen wurde. Das muss ich einfach mit euch teilen. Behandelt diese Infos zu meinem und vor allem euren Wohl vertraulich. Keine Ahnung ob das eine neue wiederkehrende Kategorie wird. Kommt darauf an ob mir noch mehr solcher Wahrheiten anvertraut werden. Falls ja nenne ich sie "Selbsternannter Doppelagent des Mossad und FSB sagt"(mhhhh, vielleicht nicht der griffigste Name🤔).

Hier erstmal die Faktenlage:

Putin befreit zum Wohle der Menschheit die Ukraine. Nicht wegen der Entnazifizierung, das spielt nur eine untergeordnete Rolle, sondern weil hier die Labore stehen in denen das Corona Virus gezüchtet wird. Leider konnte ich bei der Flut an Informationen die auf mich einprasselte, nicht genau herauskristallisieren wer den Virus warum herstellt.

Ufff, danke das dieser "Obelix des LSD's" internationale Topspion mir die Augen geöffnet hat.

Ich werde unter dem Einsatz meines Lebens versuchen auch die Antworten auf diese Fragen zu bekommen.

Wie geht's euch? Habt ihr Bammel am heutigen Unglückstag oder ist das falscher Zauber? Hel und schönes WE

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crtter · 6 days

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If people were too mean to you when you were growing up, a newborn animal will materialize inside your brain and it’s so so scared and shivering and it will stay there for years. Decades, even. And whenever you say something kind of weird but true to your heart the animal will tell you “Noo! You can’t say that! If you say that, everyone will hate you!”. The animal means well. It’s so so small and everything is so scary for them and it’s just trying to protect you. But listen to me. Listen to me. Whenever this happens, you can’t do what the animal says. You can’t. If you do, you’ll become as scared as the animal. You have to keep saying weird shit. You have to keep doing things the animal wouldn’t approve of. If you do enough things that scare the animal, maybe one day it’ll go to sleep.

#Reporting live

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pyrrhiccomedy · 8 months

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Trump would be such a good drag queen like just such an unbelievably incredible and talented drag queen it's such a bummer that he's decided to be a fascist and a threat to democracy because that cunt would devour at the House of Yes

such a loss

#he self reported as 6'3 215 lbs and strawberry blonde like ugh she would not miss a crumb

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yamameta-inc · 4 months

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y’all do NOT go out next week unless you have to and wear your best masks and tape the edges down bc it’s just not worth it

#Canada is possibly worse than the US #hard to check bc our government won’t even track anymore #I wasn’t even able to report getting COVID to like anywhere #wastewater is the ONLY metric we have left #please take this seriously

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lastoneout · 10 months

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Seein' too many Twitter refugees asking if they'll get in trouble for saying "kill yourself" to people and while no, you're not gonna get nuked from orbit, that is maybe something you just shouldn't be doing in general perhaps?? Maybe telling people to kill themselves is bad actually?? Some of y'all are wild, why is the first thing you can think to ask on a new platform if you can send one of the worst kinds of harassment to people?? Grow tf up and learn how to use the block button. It'll do wonders for your mood, trust me.

#this is the real cringe behavior #also you'll get reported if you do this it's actually against the rules #why do you want to do that??#I've never felt the need to say that to anyone ever #is there a joke I'm missing out on like wtf is wrong with you #twitter #twitterpocalypse #suicide mention #ask to tag

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lezzian · 6 months

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multi-national corps make big bucks selling merchandise with the orange&pink lesbian flag on it but the person who made it is currently HOMELESS.

emily gwen needs money. give them money. stop giving disney and faceless businesses who sell cheap, imported, low-quality crap produced with probably child or slave labour. give your money to emily gwen.

#mission report #emily gwen #lesbian #queer #lgbt #queer community

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telltaletypist · 3 months

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the beatles are an infuriating band to me as a relentless contrarian. liking them is cliche, hating them is cliche, being indifferent towards them is cliche. it's impossible to have an novel or interesting take on the beatles in current year. like how am i supposed to win here?

#telling tales #doesn't help that i've made the upsetting discovery that i actually really like them #it brings me no joy to report this #the beatles

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indigo6f00ff · 7 months

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need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

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elainiisms · 8 months

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it's almost like... if you play a movie in 10 cinemas worldwide, it doesn't do as well as it could 🤯🤯

#btw ik this is actually quite good i just wish sapphic films were given the chance to do as well as other movies #the way i need to leave the country if i want to see it #AND I DONT EVEN LIVE IN A SMALL COUNTRY I LIVE IN FUCKING AUSTRALIA #this is not aimed at the op btw they're just reporting it #anyways feeling anger #bottoms movie #bottoms 2023 #rachel sennott #ayo edebiri #ruby cruz #havana rose liu #nicholas galitzine #kaia gerber #wlw #lesbian #sapphic #elainposting

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egophiliac · 20 days

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bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?)#(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay)#long post #tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then #anyway once again i'm sorry #i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone #i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks.#hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper #because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.

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everchased · 1 year

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can someone please get these hoes under control i'm BUSY

#gun cw #it's EVERY 5 HOURS AT LEAST #AND THEY STAY UP???? LIKE NONE OF THE ONES I'VE REPORTED HAVE BEEN DEACTIVATED #GO AWAY #anyways...#my art #edit: everyone who says i look like [insert anime guy here] has holes in their brain hope this helps some of u figure out what's wrong

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reactorshaft · 1 year

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😘sexy💯 independent😈✨free-thinker😝🎱 roger, roger!🙊real🏅yes, we are hooman😇💫all your base are belong to us👍🙌🏼💋

#reactorshaft images #spam bots #tumblr #star wars #star wars shitpost #star wars meme #droids #the phantom menace #tumblr search #report as spam and block #bots #swedit

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handweavers · 19 days

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saw an article about how the water crisis in catalonia is causing problems for british travelers' annual spain holidays by 'forcing pool closures' and just the fact that water crises are positioned as annoying inconveniences for wealthy people on vacation rather than a very real problem for The People Who Live There Always is such a perfect example of how classism is applied on a global/international scale. i couldn't give less of a fuck about a brit's spain holiday being ruined, tell me how the water crisis is causing problems for locals and how tourism is exacerbating the issue.

#look at way that international newspapers report on the catalonia water crisis vs british newspapers #its very stark

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mywitchcultblr · 13 days

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This is what happen when people take the 'your brain doesn't mature till 25' pop-sci too literally and just ran with it, also transphobia

#england #britain #rishi sunak #trans #lgbt #lgbtqia+#natalie wynn #contrapoints #queer #trans rights #cass review #cass report

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flowerytale · 4 months

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Nikos Kazantzakis, from “Report to Greco”, tr. by P. A. Bien

#nikos kazantzakis #report to greco #greek literature #lit #literature #fragments #books #*

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crtter · 1 year

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Huh! I believe I’ve accidentally found out what the whole deal with this new wave of porn bots is.

#reporting live

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