9!! or 33! also ur writing is beautiful god i love it sm u r a gift ALSO I FUCKING LOVE UR -as a syrian- SYIRAN REMUS/HOPE HC SOOO MUCH U DONT UNDERSTAND THE JOY THAT WRITING RIGHT THERE IS MY LIFELINE I GENUINELY MADE ME SO HAPPY WHEN I SAW THAT AND am bitmanna lakki isboo3 7illo mitlik <33
Notes: Oh God habit I am absolutely balling with tears! like babes I don’t even know what to say i am just an entire mess!! I am going through a real drought with my writing because of a lot of annoying fucked up personal life shit but I am really really trying to get back into the swing of things, this is short I know, so rohee, please send me another prompt and maybe I can write something longer, Wallah I’m trying, but my brain is just such shit right now :( But I included Vivian in this because of you and I adore you babes xxx
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Sometimes Sirius looks at Remus in moments like these— quiet and contemplative amidst a crisp summer night and cloaked in the glow of a thousand burning stars hanging above them like a benediction— and all he feels is that strange cocktail of wanting and yearning and aching that infests his bones and festers in his gut and sometimes threatens to shatter open his ribcage with the startling ferocity of it. But other times he looks at Remus and all he feels, all he knows and all he can understand, is a simmering sort of desperation, like embers being stoked in his heart. Desperate for so much of him, for any part of him, desperate for all of him. Desperate to relearn the facets of Remus that the werewolf had locked away with such unflinching precision nearly four months ago. Ever since that April night that none of them speak about, the night they make it a point to try and forget, to exhaust every flicker of energy to avoid. The night that created a fisher between Remus and the other Marauders that none of them knew how to begin to cement over, to repair, to make it back to how it had been.
But it’s better now, if only slightly. Remus had begun talking to Sirius willingly by mid May, and had begun openly laughing with him in June. And now— Well now they’re here— Or well, perhaps the better turn of phrase is that Sirius is here. Sirius is on the Swansea coast, spending the final fleeting week of the summer before their sixth year with the Lupins after Remus had miraculously agreed to as much, and it feels like maybe it can be the start of healing, or something like healing at the very least.
It’s been a week of blink and you’ll miss it smiles in the mornings and carefully calculated distances so they can’t ever accidentally knock shoulders or brush hands throughout the days, and their nights are spent usually passing a discrete joint back and forth before sleeping stiffly besides one another on Remus’s old twin sized mattress. But despite the icy overture Sirius has been suffering through, it’s still an olive branch all the same, and Remus is on the other side of it— he reckons that he’d just about walk through a thousand stinging hexes just for the chance of them returning to their normal once more.
And it’s the candor in that contemplation that steels Sirius’s resolve to make it till term begins after the fourth morning and he feels his insides crumble up into a ball, watch as Remus flinches back when their pinkies tap against one another reaching for the plate of goat cheese on the table spread of the traditional, Arabian breakfast that Vivian makes every Friday morning.
“Well that’s sweet,” Remus’s aforementioned mother squawks, thankfully shattering the awkwardness of the moment before it ever can actually begin, rising gracefully to meet her muggle husband at the door, holding a frilly lace bag of sweets in one hand and a letter in the other. “When did you get this, love?”
“I didn’t. A bloody owl dropped it off.”
Remus and Sirius’s eyes lock onto one another immediately, both familiar with the glistening, golden and scarlet paper Mrs Potter favors, and her habit of sending random packages of fudge whenever she fancies. So neither of them are surprised when Vivian’s bright, nearly amber eyes— the same shade of Remus’s own— go alight and focusses towards them. “We should bake something to send back to James’s mother, don’t you think Remi.”
Remus flushes, hates the endearment his mother calls him more than his actual name, though Sirius can’t help but think it’s fucking cute as hell on all counts.
“Oi, I think you should Ms Hussein, ’s only right, innit?”
“Stuff it, Black.” Remus hisses, elbows him on the side with a barely concealed smirk.
“No, nah, Remus, your man is spot on. You both should bake something sweet, say thank you and all.”
Remus glares straight forwards, boring his molten eyes into Sirius’s own and it’s the first time it feels like there’s a thawing between them— No. More than that. It feels like he has his Remus back. It feels like maybe those breaths of moment even— those breaths when it was just the two of them and they’d lock their smallest fingers or end up spooning on Remus’s bed or just staring soulfully at one another because there is nothing else they’d rather be doing.
Those breaths of moment that hinted at so much more.
“Hmm, right.” Remus says in that quiet, mishcevious way of his, like when he thinks of a beyond brilliant prank, or when he does something bloody insane like hug Sirius. “Mama, you’ve got that powerpoint to prepare for class. I tell you what, how bout Sirius here and I bake the cookies. Chocolate chip, we can get the recipe from that book you found at the flee market last weekend.”
Sirius’s brows hike up, a choked laugh stuck in his Adam’s apple as Vivian giddily agrees and Remus smugly mouths, you get the pink one.
And yeah, maybe this is actually the start of healing or something like tat after all. h
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MY OTHER WOLFSTAR WORKS
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heritage
summary: Sirius Black, for a man so horribly treated by the past, is still hopeful for the future. Remus Lupin doesn't have the luxury.
A small scene set sometime between Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix.
(1.2k) ao3
"You know, we can just ask someone for help," said Remus, when a low, annoyed muttering broke the silence of the study for the third time in the past ten minutes.
Sirius cursed quietly when one of the papers fell off the stacks towering on the desk to the floor. "I said I got this, Moons, and I do," Sirius shot him a brief look before sighing and reaching for the document.
“Alright, alright.” Remus watched Sirius dip the quill in the inkpot from his spot by the fire, the rings on Sirius’ fingers glistening in the low light.
“It’s not standard property records anyway. Leave it to the Annoying and Most Nasty House of Black to be a proper pain in the arse to inherit,” Sirius dropped a clip of papers on the side of the desk with a soft thump. “It wasn’t worth it to begin with and it’s getting less and less so by the minute.”
“It was your idea to let Dumbledore – “
“Yes, yes, I know, “ Sirius waved a dismissing hand at Remus without raising his eyes. “And I mean it. I want to be useful for the Order somehow,” he made a swift flourish at the end of the written line, grimacing at the unpleasant scratching sound.
Remus shifted in his seat. This was a dangerous mood to operate Sirius in.
“You are.” Remus’ reply was met with silence. After a while he cleared his throat. “Look, I might not know all the ins and outs of pureblood estate laws, but I can at least check the signatures?”
Sirius hovered with the quill in the air for a moment before grabbing a few papers off a stack and handing it over with an outstretched arm. Remus leaned out of the armchair to take them and sat back down with a huff, settling the papers on his crossed knees.
“Thanks,” muttered Sirius.
Remus hummed in a reply.
The room was quiet for a while save for the shuffle of documents, the sound of the quill nib sliding on parchment and the warm crackle of the fire.
“Sirius, what is this?” Remus asked, turning one of the sheets over in the air and showing it to Sirius when he caught his attention.
“Whad’you mean?” Sirius’ look of confusion mirrored his own.
“There’s my name on it.”
“Oh, right, yes, I do hope mother dear dies a second time when she sees you’re going to get the house next. Since I missed bearing witness the first time.”
Remus looked at him, frozen and perplexed. Sirius went on, “The House of Black inherited by a halfblood and a werewolf! You have to say that’s bloody brilliant.”
Remus’ shoulders slouched and he exhaled quietly. “Sirius. I don’t want it.”
“Oh come on, Moony! Stick it to the man!”
“Sirius.”
The barking laugh died in Sirius’ throat. He put back the quill and gazed at Remus pointedly, waiting for him to continue.
“I don’t want your house. Frankly, I don’t want anything left after you.”
Sirius’ breath hitched and he looked as if he had been slapped in the face.
“Yes. Of course.”
The strength and confidence in Sirus’ voice, unshaken even after over a decade among dementors, were gone. Instead the rasp, earned by that very dementor-surrounded experience and age, was harsh and deep. Absent. Cold.
“Sirius, I didn’t mean - “
As Remus slid off his armchair and moved for the desk, Sirius stayed unmoved, hiding away his face in his collar instead, making his black hair fall in front of it like a curtain. The fist holding the quill clenched and trembled, sending droplets of ink onto the pages.
“I didn’t mean it like that, Sirius, please.”
Remus’ voice was shaken too and he cursed quietly, his knees digging unpleasantly into the pasted, mahogany floor, sending sparks of pain up into his bad hip.
“No, no, you’ve made yourself clear. I was a fool for imposing.” Sirius dropped the quill and moved to push his hands off the desk to stand, but Remus grabbed his sleeve, stopping him.
“You’re not a fool, I’m a fool for not choosing my words correctly. Sirius, please,” Remus tugged on the knitted wool of what he was quite sure was his own jumper, “listen to me.”
Sirius didn’t move, head still held low, back tense in the stilled pose. The hand that was now empty of the quill was dirtied with ink. The black liquid in the low, warm light of the fireplace looked like blood.
Remus rushed to continue. “I was already left with nothing but your things once.” He saw Sirius’ eyes widen and catch the light of the fire. Remus inhaled deeply, and went on, “you were gone and I was left with your flat, your clothes, your everything.”
“Remus-”
“I was a wreck and you were gone and part of me still thought it was your fault-”
“Remus, I’m so sorry,” Sirius gasped out, catching his lover’s cold and slightly shaking hands, smearing them with ink. Neither of them said how familiar dark, blackish blood looked once on Remus’ fingers.
Remus chuckled a raspy, sickly laugh. “We are over this now. We can continue to apologise to each other all our lives, and likely will,” Remus covered Sirius’ hand with his own, absentmindedly tracing the rough knuckles,”but it’s not what now I need to say and for you to understand.”
Sirius guided Remus to sit on the leather armrest of the chair, which squeaked lightly undern the weight of the man. They kept the eye contact steady between them.
“I was a ghost without you, then. I can’t do it again, Sirius. The next time you’re gone, I will follow you. If it’s into death, then so be it.”
Sirius wound his arms around Remus’ waist, pushing his face into Remus’ thigh.
“Don’t say that, please don’t say that-”
“It’s alright, love.” Remus threaded his fingers into Sirius’ hair, delicately petting his skin, calming. “You have so much fight in you after all this time, it’s extraordinary. So brave, I’ve never been as brave as you.”
“That’s rubbish, you’re the bravest man I’ve ever known.” Sirius' voice was slightly muffled, vibrating through the fabric on Remus’ leg.
“So let me make this brave choice. After you’re gone, I’m gone. No flats or houses to haunt in. No ghosts.”
Sirius reached out and found Remus’ other hand, gripping it tightly. He nodded and it reminded Remus of a black dog, nuzzling into his lap.
They sat in silence for a while, time only measured by the crackling fire and movements of fingers through black locks.
“I do think the half-blood Black heir is a good touch, though.” Remus confessed, slightly teasing tone to his voice, after they calmed down and moved all the paperwork to the low table in front of the sofa, where they sat side by side with cleaner hands and clearer heads.
“It almost makes me sad I would die solely for the reason I wouldn’t see the house collapse in on itself in shame. You have to see it in my stead.”
“Sirius…” Remus sighed.
Sirius grinned. “Promise me you would try to, at least. Please, Moony. For him?”
“... I’ll try.”
On the parchment atop the table the ink glistened on the freshly written name, in a neat and elegant cursive, of Harry James Potter.
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