what is going on with that cup??
source: relationship guidelines
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there's a lot of bad relationship advice out there, but the best and most genuine relationship advice I would give to help you find one that will last is that, if it's right, you won't feel absolutely enamored all the time as the relationship progresses. let me explain-
there are two types of love that are often contrasted in psychology: companionate love and passionate love. passionate love is the kind of love where you feel absolutely constantly obsessed and it's primarily based on lust and physical attraction. these relationships are not the ones that last. the kinds that last are based on companionate love. this is the kind of love where you feel comfortable with this person, you are committed to this person, you have deep affection for this person.
being enamored with your partner is still a part of this kind of love, don't get me wrong, but intense emotions are not conducive to a lasting relationship. what really characterizes companionate love is joy, not pleasure, the difference primarily being that pleasure is often very intense and short lived, whereas joy is a feeling of deep satisfaction. companionate love is what tends to last.
this isn't to say that your feelings will somehow just fit into one of these two boxes. my point is simply that intense obsession and lust is not what will lead to a lasting relationship, if that's what you want.
also, communicate. that is also the best relationship advice I can give.
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Looking back, I should have known you were wrong for me in so many ways, but my heart wouldn’t listen.
While my intuition was screaming silently, I fell head over heels for you..
But now, I wonder if that was really even you at all.
Maybe you showed me what I wanted to see, showered me with love I wanted to feel and showed me a future that I wanted to believe in.
It’s hard to turn off your feelings when everything seems to be clicking...
Until it doesn’t any more.
I wonder now if it was just a game to you or you simply pursued me to feed your ego- I’ll never really know for sure.
What I do know is that when you left, you shattered my heart into a million pieces.
Truthfully, I should have seen the red flags and warning signs, but we often close our eyes to the truth when feelings are involved.
I’ll never say I regret our time together or what happened, because it taught me a lot about myself, love and what I’ll never allow again.
The bad taste in my mouth still lingers, but with each passing day, it lessens just a little more.
Soon, you’ll just be a faded memory and a lesson I had to learn.
I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but deep down, I know this is exactly what we need to break our cycle of toxicity..and I’m torn between sadness and relief.
The pain I felt with you has made me stronger, wiser and deeper, and the next time around, I’m not going to be blind.
I’ll embrace the opportunity to find love if it comes calling, but I’m not knocking on that door any time soon.
I’m too busy making myself and my life better, not bitter.
I don’t need to be fixed, saved or completed..
I just want to be appreciated, respected and loved for who I am.
The right person will get that and I’ll never have to ask for the things I expect and deserve.
This time, I’m finding my love within, not with men.
And that,darling, will make all the difference.
I’m worth that and much, much more.
|ravenwolf
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