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underthetree845 · 4 months

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I gave you my heart (Last Christmas)

Dazai/gn! Reader (oneshot)

Cws: gn! reader (he calls you "bella," and "my love" gender not explicitly stated), established relationship, cozy evening, christmas traditions, mistletoe, dazai osamu needs a hug

About 1.2k words

Summary: Spending a lovely cozy Christmas Eve with Dazai ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

A/n: Merry Christmas everyone! If you don't celebrate I hope this week treats you kindly and that you can find happiness in the upcoming year <3 And here is @/estrelinha-s requested credit for the dividers. ^^

The soft melody of the radio floated around the room, matching the subtlety of the flurries of snowflakes coming down endlessly out the window. A layer of white peppered the bare branches and cityscape outside, it would be salted away come morning.

A heavenly aroma filled the quaint apartment as your oven mitt hand slid the fresh batch of treats out of their heated hearth. A brunette head of hair, fluffy from being dried after a shower, watched you from the doorway of your bedroom with a certain look in his eyes that could only be described as enamoration. You turned around in search of a spatula, only to be caged against the oven by a freshly bandaged pair of arms. Your breath stifled for a moment before your lips fell into a smile, admiring the rosiness of the detective’s cheeks and the way his hair curled to frame his face, messily but somehow still utterly perfect. “Hey ‘Samu,” your voice was low and gentle as you reached to tuck a lock of hair behind his ear. The snowy white shirt that hung from his shoulders highlighted his features; he really should consider wearing the color more often. “Bella,” he sighed, delicately resting his chin on the crook of your neck. You hooked your arms around his waist, inhaling the vanilla scent of your shampoo. It smells good on him, you think. A subtle munching sound came from the back of your head, and you turned quickly to find Dazai with a half-eaten cookie in hand. “Osamu!” you gave a playful scoff, “Those are for the agency members, remember? I said you could have the extras after I packaged them all up.” The man only grinned at the cute pout that graced your lips. “Oh, really? Sorry my Love, I must have forgotten,” he stated simply, shamelessly continuing to nibble at the warm treat. He took a half step back and leaned against the countertop. You lowered your eyebrows before coming over and attempting to swipe the cookie out of his hand. Dazai only raised it out of your reach, chuckling lightly at your attempts to pull his arm down. “Osamuuu,” you whined, and he popped what was left of the cookie halfway into his mouth. Dazai gave you a look, and you paused for a moment before feeling heat creep up into your face. Leaning closer, you took the other half of the cookie into your mouth. Goosebumps rose on the back of his neck when he felt your breath on his lips. After finishing the cookie, he chuckled again. “But my Love, now we don’t have any of the cookie left.” A light blush came to dust your cheeks. “It was worth it,” you replied with a shy smile. His heart thumped just a little bit harder. “Still, allow me to make it up to you,” Dazai caught your hand as you tried to turn back to the oven. You tilted your head and he took it as an opportunity to lead you to the living room and turn the radio up. Your hands always felt so delicate and perfect in his, as if he were meant to hold them. He would place kisses on your knuckles and palms for hours if you’d let him.

♫ Last Christmas, I gave you my heart ♫

You raised an eyebrow and Dazai’s smile widened. He led you to the center of the room, taking your hand in his and resting his other on your hip. ♫ But the very next day, you gave it away ♫

Your pulse quickened as you slid a hand up to his shoulder, and soon he was taking the lead. ♫ This year, to save me from tears, ♫

Never had you imagined one singular person being able to make you so happy. It was in the little things, the lazy morning kisses and remembering each other’s usual coffee orders. Teaching him how to cook and him helping you learn how to pick locks. The arm casually draped over your shoulders out in public, the brief moments of eye contact in the office that never failed to send your heart aflutter. The way his name fell from your lips was like a gift; he uttered yours like a promise. Dazai didn’t know whether to believe you or not when you told him he was deserving of your affection. He didn’t think he’d ever be sure. The first day you waltzed into his life, he knew there was something special about you. When you first cupped his cheeks and told him how you felt, he knew he was a goner. That night, the first time you ran your hands over his scars and gazed into his eyes with a look he’d never seen before, that was when he knew for sure. The one thing he could say without any doubt was that he would do absolutely anything for you. He had no intention of letting you go anytime soon.

♫ I’ll give it to someone special. ♫ Dazai’s throat hummed softly along to the music, you felt a certain warmth bubbling from your chest as you twirled within the boughs of evergreen and paper snowflakes that adorned your home. Dazai’s eyes gleamed as he admired the way you were lit up by the lights of the tree. The corners of his eyes crinkled and his lips curved upwards into a smile. It made you feel light, breathless. It was a smile reserved for you and you alone. Dazai stepped one foot behind the other, shifting his hand around your waist familiarly. You slid one foot backwards, just the way he taught you, and fell easily into a dip.

As he tilted you back, you caught sight of a little green cluster of leaves hanging from the ceiling, red berries scattered within. Mistletoe. You didn't put that there.

Dazai’s grin widened when your gaze shifted back to lock eyes with him again. You let out a warm sigh, not being able to help the smile that played on your lips. As soon as you allowed yourself to surrender to the moment, he sunk his lips into yours.

Your fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt to prolong the moment for as long as possible.

When Dazai pulled you up to stand again and held you close to his chest, when you hooked your arms behind his back to return his embrace, he knew it was hopeless.

“Y/n…” he started, the emotion in his voice would have been unreadable to anyone else, “you have no idea how much you mean to me.”

It was easy for you to take note of the way he held you just a little bit tighter. Dazai’s silence begged you for a response, his breathing light. You searched and found the slightest hint of vulnerability in his eyes, your heart doing a backflip knowing that you were the only person he dared to trust with a look so raw.

“I love you too Osamu,” you gave a small smile in understanding. He again questioned what he ever did to deserve someone like you, someone who spoke to him with such a gentleness embedded in their tone. He allowed himself to drown in it nonetheless.

That night, you fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. Curled up under the covers, Dazai draped his arms over you protectively. He cradled you like you would evaporate at any moment, as if begging the universe for just a moment longer of the light he’d been granted. Dazai gave you his heart completely, utterly, hopelessly, and he knew he wouldn't ever regret it. Not in a million years.

A/n: Thank you for reading! I'm actually so happy with how this turned out T-T Sleep well tonight and remember to be kind to yourself!

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harry-styles-obsessed · 9 months

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Tender love

Request: hi Amber, I was wondering whether you could write something comforting about Harry please? I’ve been struggling with my body image lately because I feel that I’ve put on too much weight and I’m just anxious and uncomfortable about myself and my body. But maybe a imagine could help? Your writing always helps so if you could it would be greatly appreciated.

A/N: hello lovely, thank you for this sweet request and your sweet words. I understand how difficulty body image is, I hope this brings you some comfort, although it might be hard treat yourself with kindness and respect. You deserve it. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. We’re all beautiful. Love yourself. All the love, Amber x

©️ please do not copy or translate my work.

Trigger warnings: self hate/ body imagine issues. If you’re struggling with it please reach out, my DM’s are open. Feel free to message if you ever need someone to support you(:

Pairings: Harry styles x plus-size Fem!reader

“Out with it,”

Harry’s voice cut through the silence of the movie, the credits rolling, your tired anxious eyes slowly moving to look at the man who you loved dearly “what?” Your voice was quiet, his green eyes piercing into your softer ones “somethings up. C’mon. Out with it. Tell me.” He spoke his tone worried as he studied you and you stared at him for a while before slowly looking away.

“Hey,” he gently reached out touching your cheek with his fingertips gently coaxing you to look at him again your now teary eyes focused on him and he offered an incredibly gentle smile “you can talk to me, love.” Your eyes searched his and he kept a soft gentle look on his face “it’s embarrassing though,” he gently shook his head “thats okay… that’s okay, darling. Embarrassing is okay. Talk to me.” He didn’t want to pressure you, of course he didn’t, but he knew if you didn’t talk soon enough you would end up bottling it all up until it became an overwhelming storm of emotions. He gently got closer to you his arm wrapping around your shoulders “you can tell me. You know you can.” He soothed lovingly watching as your eyes slowly met with his again before you sniffled leaning your head to rest against his chest feeling the soft thumping of his heart aching your head, the silence that engulfed the both of you was deafening, the type of silence when you get called out by the teacher in a room full of students and you don’t know the answer. All the students waiting to pry on every single one of your answers… but thankfully this time wasn’t that case… harry simply wanted to hear your issues just so he could take care of you. And finally, you spoke, “I’m ugly” those words alarmed the man his brows furrowing deeply “ugly? What do you mean by that?” He asked concerned “I’m just ugly… too ugly for you..-“ “ah ah… no… we don’t talk like that.” He gently held your cheek in his hand “we don’t talk like that y/n. We don’t talk down about ourselves…” he shook his head in disapproval “that’s nonsense, my love. Absolute nonsense.” He held you closer, trying to bring you comfort yet instead it made the tears clinging onto your eyelashes pour down your cheeks your shoulders jerking as soft sobs left your lips,

“Hey.. hey.. shhh. I’ve got you… I’ve got you.” His hand cupped the back of your head as he slowly rocked you back and forth in his embrace “where is this all coming from, hm?” He asked delicately his touch tender and caring. “Because-because I’m fat… I-I’m too big for you… I hate the way I look… I-I-I’m not good enough for you.” Those words alarmed Harry, his brows arching in pure disbelief and he pulled back to look at you, watching the tears trail down your cheeks “no. Y/n… no… look at me.” You slowly looked at him his face blurry from all the tears that stained your eyes “you’re perfect. In every single way. And I’m not just saying that… as soon as I laid my eyes on you I fell for you. For all of you. Those models on Instagram and on magazines and other websites and social media… they’re edited. Photoshopped. Sure some are real, but many are fake…” this man knew you like the back of his hand and you hated it but also loved it all at once. You didn’t even need to express the fact that social media had been playing on your mind, he already knew, it made him want to wrap you up in a blanket and protect you forever… “besides you can be a better model than them. Any day.” His voice was loving and caring and you smiled weakly “you’re just saying that…” you muttered and he raised his brows “No I am not just “saying that” I’m telling you the truth. You’re gorgeous. Inside out. I fell for you… you. Your personality. Your kindness. Not just your body… I love all of you. Like you love all of me. I love every single part of you… I adore you, y/n… you’re perfect and I will happily kiss every inch of you if it makes you believe me.” A blush formed on your cheeks and he smiled cheekily “I’m not bluffing. I will.” He spoke and you giggled the tear stains on your cheeks painting a picture of the pain you still held. Of course you had your good days and your bad days- good days being you adored how you looked, but on bad days you hated every single thing about yourself. About your existence.

“I don’t believe you.” You spoke teasingly, Harry’s brows raising before he chuckled “alrighty. I guess I’ll have to prove it to you then hm?” He spoke before he abruptly yet very gently pushed you down onto the couch so you were laying down against it, and he hovered just above you, his lips connecting with yours, locking with yours in an instant before he kissed down your cheek and to your neck, before he began trailing kisses down your body, his kisses soon stopping at your belly and he lightly lifted your T-shirt as he began peppering kisses all over your belly- soft squeals leaving your lips and you laughed pushing him away “nooo, it tickles!” He grinned up at you before kissing all the way back up to your face where he began kissing all over your face making you feel loved, giving you all the tender love possible before he planted a kiss onto your lips “I adore you and only you… do you believe me now?” A soft smile was on your lips and you nodded gently, you were a sweet sweet creature and he loved you more than words could describe. You gently cupped his cheek, kissing him again, melting into his lips and he smiled before you very teasingly and flirtatiously muttered: “thought you said you’d kiss every inch of me…”

The look he gave you said enough and he smirked before rolling his eyes playfully “that’s my girl…” he then chuckled lifting you up into his embrace as he carried you into your shared bedroom… oh how he was going to show you just how much you meant to him… he wouldn’t let you forget how he loved you. He’d make sure the negativity got released from your pretty head and instead got replaced with positivity… he was going to make sure you knew just how loved you truly were.

A/N: be kind to yourself. You matter.

Choose love. Give love. Give yourself some kindness. You matter. Much love, Amber x

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takethebodymarc · 2 months

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pac is the most adorable nicest person iiiii need a moment

#qsmp #AHHGHHGG #watching him comfort mouse that time empanada fell from the castle he's so sweet #reassuring #fit and pac my beloveds

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imaginativeworks · 1 year

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Imagine Your OTP

Person A: “Why do you look at me like that? (Tilts their head to the side confusedly) Have I done something worthy of praise?” They asked shyly.

Person B: (with an admiring look) “Oh my dear, you always do~”

They answer as they take Person A’s hands in their own.

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tranquilbird · 9 months

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There's something so reassuring and sweet about the :) to me, like look at it!! Such a genuine expression of :)

However (: instills a primordial fear in me that I cannot define. Vile form, deceptive, capable of murder. I shan't trust it.

#:)#happy #reassuring #i love it #the best expression #196 #(:#scary #untrustworthy #vile creatura #anyone who uses :) makes me happy good on y'all

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piscescrown · 3 months

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FRIENDLY REMINDER ‼️

DRINK WATER.

Sometimes, don't you feel like eating but you have eaten recently and you want to keep eating? Drink water. If you feel satisfied after 10 minutes, then that's perfect. If you aren't satisfied, go eat!!!! But please, remember to drink WATER!!!

✨️💙🫂

#water #reminder #friendly reminder #drink water #drinks #food and drink #drink #reassuring #reassuring words #healthcare

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furiousgoldfish · 1 year

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Sometimes you don't even need that much. It's enough for someone to just understand your situation. To remind you that you have done all you could, that it was enough, and that you deserve some rest and peace. To tell you they believe in you and that your thinking is right and that you are not wrong to feel what you feel, and want what you want. That sometimes mourning loss is okay, even if the loss is imagined, or deep in the past.

That you're going to be loved and accepted even if you're sometimes weak, small and without any faith in yourself. That you will pull yourself up, because you always did, and there will be someone waiting to greet you, to tell you they missed you and they're happy you're back. That you have a little bit of space in someone's heart and there's warmth for you there. That you're not unlovable or impossible to bear even if you're sick, arguing, or unable to make them happy.

That you'll be forgiven if you make a mistake. That there will be understanding and compassion for you, that your actions will not be misinterpreted in the worst way and villanized. That in the moments of fear and danger, someone will be standing beside you, making sure you pull thru, asking if you're alright when it's over.

That is really not that much. That is so little that most people can take it for granted. You deserve all this as a bare minimum. This will never be too much to ask for.

#comforting #aftermath of neglect #aftermath of abuse #child abuse #needing comfort #reassurance #reassuring

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socks-bog-wench · 4 months

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It's a new year,

So imma need that RENEWAL of REASSURANCE in no uncertain terms that you like me and perhaps would like a kiss

#new year #kiss #lmao #Renewal of Reassaurance #reassaurancr #reassuring #reassure #me #please

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kindnotestoself · 1 year

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{You are worth so much more than they made you believe.}

#supportive #kind #gentle #loving #reassuring #soft #notes to self #positive #good vibes #positive thoughts #positivity

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beelzzzebub · 7 months

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nothing better than the distant sound of crickets and cicadas

#love my little buggy friends :)#nature #bugs #its just so peaceful #reassuring #like the world is carrying on and the little creatures outside my window are living #i just love them #so many little friends

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heavylittlepeople · 8 months

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#heavy little people #cartoon #webcomic #humour #comic strip #art #writing #dark humour #comic #death #reassuring #pretty fly for a white guy #not fly?

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minminio-the-infp · 2 years

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•The faults •

________________

A comfort-sort-of-story because daydreaming is my coping mechanism

Fluff , Angst , lot of angst and fluff

WARNINGS :none (I hope)

Word count: idk tbh long enough

This one shot has no names specified in there,feel free to imagine whoever you want ;)

________________

"In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night...You - only you - will have stars that can laugh. "

~William Shakespeare

The sound of the door creaking open causes him to startle slightly from where he’s been staring up at the starry sky for the past half an hour. He turns his head to see who it is and feels his heart stop in his chest. Standing on the threshold is a girl; the familiar face shines in the moonlight. She looks him in the eye and smiles softly, almost shyly at him. “Hi,” she greets him, as if they never met before.

He swallows and stands up. it's been a while. should he say hi back ? tell her he missed her? ask her if she's ok ? No, she seems fine now , better than ever.

"Hey"he replies. His voice sounds rough even to himself.

She steps into the room and closes the door behind her, sitting down on the chair by the desk he was just gazing out of. The room is silent except for their breathing for a moment.

"sorry for not knocking, the boys said you might feel sick and they sent me here to check up on you ...are you ok?"

Gosh that was embarrassing. Getting drunk till you spit your guts out , crying and choking on your tears while starring blankly at the ceiling and now your ex is here . Man that's one terrible combination of events for a single night.

"yeah yeah , just drank a bit too much but you know I can handle myself. no need to worry" he says dryly.

she pauses for a second , looking like she's struggling to find her words .

"alright,glad you're fine " she awkwardly bids him a "nice to see you " and closes the door .

She hurriedly goes downstairs but his friends stop her .

"So, how's he? "they ask looking at each other laughing. "did you guys talk or something?"

"nope , he said he's fine btw,but you should still keep an eye on him , he didn't look that good to me . his eyes were red-"

"that's because he's crying after you"says a bulky boy . she recognized him. he was his best friend. or used to be .

"he's a simp, he never stopped talking about you !" he spits angrily at her .

"man stop it! wtf is wrong with you?? " a light haired guy interrupts the other one. he takes her hand and bends forward a bit to reach her ear.

"don't mind them , they're all drunk and I'm not far from that either . you should enjoy your night ,ok? have fun " and he pushes her gently in the opposite direction.

He'd already gotten drunk twice during the night and that had been quite the feat, especially considering the alcohol intake he's currently suffering through. This is what made him feel guilty. Because he knew he shouldn' have done this,but he needed that drink more than anything else in the world.

His feet drag along as he makes his way downstairs where people actually had fun.

They seem like they've got a lot going on, there must be around twenty girls here and they're dancing and drinking. There are a bunch of guys trying to get one of the girls to dance with them, so he quickly wanders away. It doesn't take long for him to spot a familiar face at the bar.

"mhmm hey" she looks at him surprised by his sudden appearance. He struggles to keep his body straight or at least in a standing position. everything is so foggy around him ,he barely sees something.

"whoa whoa whoa,hey, you alright" she hurries to pick him up from the ground.

he looks her in the eyes and something breaks in him . it's the same expression she had when they broke up . it's like he has come across his lost girlfriend and her beautiful brown eyes hold such concern and care. it brings a lump to his throat. he tries his hardest not to cry again.

"I want to go home "he whispers softly.

"oh sure ,ok let me find your friends-"

"they're drunk" he whispers again. there's a hint of some hope in his tone now." can you please take me home ?"

she doesn't look at him, worried she might hurt him with her gaze and instead scans the room.

"mhmm sure just give me your address"

"you already know it" he smiles dryly at her.

"oh right" she takes his hand awkwardly and helps him stand up . he leans on her and slowly move through the crowd till the exit

the Uber drives slowly and he falls asleep a few times during the ride but he doesn't care. he's tired from having been through hell and he needs sleep.

When they arrive at the security gate , she hurries to pay and opens the cardoor for him . he's basically dead, the only move his body does is from breathing.

"oh you better be joking..." she struggles to drag his body out of the car.

the Uber throws her one last questioning look and leaves .

Now it's only her problem.

She tries to pick him up somehow deciding to give him a piggy back .

she hears him mumbling something in her ear but who knows what he's trying to say.

bless his brilliant mind for having a big ass mansion on a hill.

she keeps walking and walking,her hands starts to hurt a little but they're close . really close now.

it's almost morning, maybe she should just go home...

But then she hears him call out her name and she instantly hears her heart beating frantically in her chest.

"hey " he mumbles.

"hey" she mumbles back "where are your keys?"

he tries to think ,he really tries ,but it's exhausting to even remember simple stuff now.

"check my backpocket"

she freezes in her place.

"I'm not touching your ass ...search for them yourself"

"oh c'mon my butt doesn't bite ,I can't use my hands now ,I'm hanging on to you "

"you really are,eh?"

she loses her balance for a second trying to reach her back but she leans on the cold door. "ok almost there,stop moving"

"I'm not moving ,you're moving "she grunts.

"ok,just keep quiet "

"your ass is huge.why do you have a giant ass?"she sighs loudly

"because I have a giant ass "he mumbles "jealous?" she was sure he was smirking now.

"go back to sleep, I liked you better with your mouth shut"

she finally manages to find his keys.

she opens the door and carries him to the couch. she drops his body and hurries to turn on the lamp.

She sits down on the floor next to the sofa and looks around at the room. "wow" she whispers.

it's definitely big enough for three people.

she gets up and looks at him, he's fast asleep.

she thinks for a moment about waking him up to go to bed. but then decides against it. She' d rather not wake him up.

she lies down on the floor beside the couch and wraps herself in the blanket that lays on it.

The room is dark, save for the moonlight shining in through the windows.

"I missed you" he says softly and quietly,almost afraid to utter it aloud.

"you did?" she says. she's lying on her stomach and her head is resting on her arm. she feels her eyelids getting heavy but she resists the temptation to sleep.

"yes.i did.I'll never get tired of missing you"

she feels his gaze on her, she can't fall asleep. Instead, she stares at the ceiling .

"are you happier now ?"he asks after a long pause.

"what do you mean ?"

"are you happier now than when we were together?"

"no.not really"

"then why did you leave me?"

"I don't know.. I just couldn't cope with it anymore. "

"so you decided to run away from me? to avoid being miserable?"

"yes "

"and you left me without saying goodbye?"

"yes.. sorry "

he stays silent again.

"you didn't choose anything, you left for good and I don't understand why".

"I had to go and start my new life. I want to live freely"

"why would you even do that? we've been together until the end of highschool and after that we hardly saw each other. you could have stayed with me instead of running away, I was ready to spend our lives together and I never once complained or questioned you."

"I wanted to change things!"

"you changed nothing!"

she remains quiet, unsure of how to respond.

"and you took away the only thing that gave me life and happiness! You ruined everything! "

she's stunned by his outburst.she doesn't know what to say, she feels bad and sorry. she wants to apologize but her mind seems unable to cooperate .

"what I did wasn't easy and I wish I could have acted better. But you can't undo the past " she speaks.

"no I can't. "he agrees.

she closes her eyes and lets out a deep breath.

"now go to sleep " he says softly.

"ok" she replies.

"goodnight "

she turns off the lamp and lies down on the floor.

she's still awake when she hears him mumble something again.

"what was that?" she asks.

"nothing"

"come on tell me"

"I said 'can we talk about what just happened earlier?'.can we?"

she lets out a frustrated sigh. he isn't gonna budge from this.

"of course,go ahead "

"do you still love me?"

this is exactly what she didn't expect him to ask. She' s been feeling guilty all evening and everytime she thought about what she did, she felt bad.

all these memories came flooding back, the pain of losing him, the sadness that comes along with it , the anger.

it all made her feel weak and vulnerable and alone. She couldn't stand it.

she didn' t even know what she was doing, she never thought he actually cared about her,however, she was wrong. "yes,I do?" she asks."I think so"

"then why did you leave me ?" he repeats the question "if you loved me, you wouldn't have left."

"it's complicated"

"isn't love complicated?"

"it's too complicated for me,it's hard to explain"

"then explain it to me "

she closes her eyes again and breathes deeply.

"I think I just don't deserve you,you're an incredible man,I've never met anyone else like you and I'd hate to hurt someone like you. And if I knew that you were gonna go through shit because of my actions , I wouldn't have done what I did".

there's a silence as he doesn't reply

"I hate it "he mutters "I hate you." he mumbles again.

"i never meant to hurt you" she says softly,"i'm sorry for taking away everything you've ever cared about. I'm sorry for making you cry and hurt and angry".

"you didn't make me cry "he whispers sadly."Fuck it , look at you now !"

she now sits with her knees close to her chest , hugging them as if they're going to fall off.

"why are you always like that ,hm? why the fuck do you think you're so unworthy of love ? you fucking left me because you thought you don't deserve love"

She bites on her lips and squeezes her legs tighter around her body "maybe i didn't deserve it then...maybe it's better this way." she admits in a whisper, her voice barely audible but loud enough for him to hear her clearly."maybe it's for the best if you hate me for the rest of my life "she adds

"no.no " he suddenly exclaims as he slowly stands up. He walks towards her and pulls her into his arms. he holds her tightly.his breathing heavy "no I'm not mad at you.I'm angry you just decided to walk away and not listen to my calls, you were hurting and I was right here, waiting for you. you run away from problems without trying to deal with them . talk to me ! I've always been there for you ! you know we can solve shit together!"

she cries. she was crying for real this time.she feels horrible for what happened, it's not fair on him.

"please forgive me "

he caresses her hands slowly "I'll always be here when you need me" he whispers.

she pulls him closer and buries her face on his neck. she holds him as if she's never gonna let go.

"you don't know how much it hurts."she murmurs "i broke my own heart"

he pats her back slowly trying to calm her down.

"I'm afraid " she confesses between sobs.

"I'm afraid I'll hurt you and anyone around me . I'm not made for relationships. You gave me so many things, you made me feel loved but I wasn't able to love you the way you loved me . my love was silent ."

"I'm sorry " she whispers."i hate myself "

"don't say that.."

"please tell me what to do " she cries "just tell me what to do.i can't fix it,I can't change it,I really don't know what to do"

"you're a good person. you deserve more than what anyone on this planet can give you . you're the kindest person I know. you fucking hurt yourself so others won't hurt . you deserve everything but hate ".

"i don't deserve you "

"Yes you do, you deserve everything, you deserve to be loved by someone who truly loves you and cares for you and cares for the things and feelings you care for. you're such a beautiful, loving, amazing person, you're everything I am not.You've always treated me well. "

she cries silently gripping his shirt , hugging him tighter trying to hide her face in his chest .

"you're perfect and i hate that you feel broken. you can't help it, i know. you haven't done it intentionally,i know.i know you tried your best to be strong and keep smiling when inside you were suffering alone , but you can't stop being human. you need to accept what you are."

"i know, "she whispers,"that's why I'm scared".

"why are you scared? "

"because i'm not sure if I will ever be able to heal again "

"I'll stay here with you "

"but it's my problem,not yours. I don't want to waste your time.you could be happy" she says, looking up at him with her tear stained face.

"I won't leave your side for anything in the world.i won't do that again.I promise you that I will always stay with you no matter where you are or how far away you may have gone, whether it's in the other side of the universe or the next galaxy.we'll go through this together,ok? you're not alone in this "

"what if i do shit like last time" she smiles sadly.

"even if you do shit like last time,I'll at least know the reason" he responds."but please talk to me when you're struggling with something "

"thank you"

"no, thank you, for being you."

she smiles softly and hugs him .

"wait weren't you supposed to be drunk ?"

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