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cryingatships · 10 months

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Parents in BMF

Sooo, Be My Favorite has been hitting too close to my heart since ep 1. But this ep topped it off ahaha I did not sign up for this where's the cutesy show I can watch without feeling anything

There's already been a lot of (frankly wonderful) discussions about it, but this stuff hits close to home so I had to write a bit, too. Prior warnings for (mostly) personal thoughts, disorderly ramblings, and discussions of homophobia.

About Kawi

We start off the series with saving Kawi's family as one of the goals. But what is 'family' to Kawi? Kawi gives us a lot of info about his background - He is poor (one of his main insecurities that plays into his sense of self), his mother has remarried and moved away, and his father is mortally ill.

From Kawi's words, it's clear that he is not at all close to his mother. So, he probably did not have a mother figure growing up. Did he even have a feminine figure he was close to throughout his childhood and adolescence? A playmate, a neighbour, an aunt? (Not really, I think)

Is that why he values his 'crush' so much?

A woman showed him kindness and interest for perhaps a very, very long time, in a foreign setting where he feels vulnerable, and he latched to it. Can't blame him for that. But that brings up an interesting possibility—The feelings Kawi has for Pear, are they of an inherently romantic nature? Or are they of some other kind, but which Kawi chooses to label as romantic, because he has little to no experience with female affection whatsoever?

Anyway, I was supposed to talk about Kawi's dad and got derailed.

So, Kawi's father.

Someone who loves Kawi a lot, as evident from his unwillingness to touch the fixed deposit he has because it is saved for Kawi's future. He refuses to get expensive treatment that is crucial for him to live him because he does not want to land Kawi in debt. (He also refused to talk about his disease in the initial eps, perhaps because he does not want his son to worry about him and affect his studies.)

So, Kawi at least had a positive father figure in his life. (who evetually becomes the reason why Kawi starts chasing his dreams!! Woot to healthy fathers in bls and in reality!)

But, it also makes me wonder, would Kawi's father accept the fact of him being a part of the queer community? Since BMF is a bl show, the answer is perhaps yes. (Though BMF is giving so many surprises each week I feel that this may just be hmmm... not true... hm... deep in delulu) But if this was in the real world, would he, an aged asian person with perhaps negligible knowledge about the queer community, learns that his so-far-straight son has suddenly 'turned gay' (using this term cause this is what I've heard ppl use irl when talking about their kids coming out...), be ok with it? Would he accept Kawi?

(I REALLY really wanna see Kawi coming out to his dad. LIke. Give it to meeee gmmtv.)

About Pisaeng

Contrasting Kawi's openness about his family (despite his insecurities about it), we have Pisaeng, who gives us no info about his family.

In all the prev eps, we got little mention of Pisaeng's family. And when we did, it was from Pear, saying that Pisaeng had a lonely childhood with no friends other than her and Not. (Which struck me as weird, cause Pisaeng, with his friendliness, ought to have many. making assumption about extroverts...i'm sorry. Ofc, we later learn the reason for this.)

Anyway, Pisaeng *does not* bring his family up, ever. He refuses to talk of the past. What could have happened back then?

In ep 6, finally, we get an idea.

It's Max, dearest Tired Queer who never fails us, who brings it up (the irony!)

But, even faced with the direct question, Pisaeng clams up and refuses to talk. (At this point I didn't realize what was happening it, just thought we were hating on politicians like we always ought to. And that Pisaeng's last name is very common in Thailand.)

And this wannabe politician lady is liberal enough on the media to have an out and proud queer person like Max follow her because he likes "what she says."

I need a breather cause this is so close to reality that it's nauseating

We later know that liberal politician lady is Pisaeng's mum. And all her liberal thoughts are just for the show. She employs people who are from the queer community but then uses them to spy on her son. (another breather needed asap)

Now, I wouldn't have realized this part if @bengiyo hadn't pointed this out in their post about how Pisaeng has been forced into the closet by his *liberal queer-supportive* mother, who also insists on controlling his life, his sexuality, and even his friends. Look at @jjsanguine's post on Pisaeng's mother and her view of frivolous friendships! It's soo... TwT. There *are* parents who insist their children don't make friends cause according to them the wrong sort of friends will get them into trouble in their future life (aka employment/career. Frick society and its- everything, actually.)

As much as I hate her for her horrible parenting, for her blatant lies about acceptability, and for using queers to hunt down their own community, and for being a politician (there's smt inherently wrong with ppl in politics, smt or the other, you can't convince me otherwise), I can't help but marvel how real her character is. Cause yeah, this stuff happens every day. I've seen others experience it, and I've experienced it myself.

That said, I can also see *where* Pisaeng's mum is coming from. (His name is so long I wanna call him Saeng but we got soo many Saeng's in bls recently ueue). As in the thought that drives their behaviour.

I think Pisaeng's mother operates on this—It's ok as long as it's not one of ours aka queerness in fine, as long as it's other people, as long as it does not affect our children.

I dunno about Thailand, but in my part of Asia, this is the often the *most* acceptability queers get. This, or outright homophobia. (breaths.)

Parents (ie the 'cool' ones) are ok with lgbt+ as long as their kids don't come out one day, or heavens forbid, bring a partner home. I do believe there are some parents who accept lgbt freely, but like, in my 19 yrs of experience, none of the parents (the ones who were ok enough to hold such a talk with in the first place) were. I hope some parents out there are more accepting :')

If you belong to a particularly liberal upper/upper middle class family, and you show your parent an lgbt ad, talk about the latest legislature that decriminalized homosexual relationships, or the ongoing court case about legalizing same sex marriage, they'll be ok with that. They'll nod their head and say 'progress'. (Though a lot more parents would beat you/inflict other kinds of abuse on you. Also honour killing.)

But heaven forbid their child becomes a part of that community. Then, there are talks of soothsayers, 'treatments', "it's just a phase", cutting off the child's friends and their access to phone cause they've been "badly influenced".

At the end, if the person still insists on being a part of queer community, the parents will force them to hide it. Not to tell anyone about it, to go back to the closet. Which is exactly what happened with Pisaeng. Only, Pisaeng's mother makes it worse (should there be a difference in levels of homophobia?) by using this pseudo acceptance for profit.

Their worry? The person's future. Their career, jobs, social standing. Because yes, even with legislatures, being queer can hamper one's access to education, health, and job opportunities, among many many other things. (To say nothing about the recent rise in hate crimes in my country...)

Often, this behaviour comes from parental love (a very twisted love that is), because most parents do not want their children to suffer, which they inevitably would if they lived their queer lives openly in the current social conditions.

But it also comes from prejudice, hate, and as urge to control. In many cases, parents refuse to accept their children have grown up, and are in a place to make their own decisions. Instead, they try to dictate every thought and every behaviour, including the choice of marital partners. (Ik arranged marriage au is often a thing of joke in the bl circle but, it's so real, guys. It happens way too often and tho it's mostly not a coercive thing... it sometimes is).

Also, surveillance. Parents often pry on phones, it's uncomfortably common place. I know a (not lgbt) friend whose parent had hired a private detective to spy on them cause they were afraid said friend would go into bars and get into drugs after entering uni.

So yeah. It's a circus. It'd be a funny one if this wasn't real life. >.>

So anyway anyway, Pisaeng's mother and her words made me think a lot sooo... I thought-dumped!

When I started watching BMF I thought it'd be a funny little show that would help me relax after a hectic week. Who knew it'd make me write so much about so many things. (I also blame Tumblr.)

This got wayy too personal at the end so like, congrats if you read till here. I kudos your patience for reading my disorganized mess of thoughts. Have a cookie/cupcake/chicken fritters(they are so! good!)/other food of your choice and I hope your weekend goes reallyy well!

ALso I hope Pisaeng's mother gets her just desserts. Even if she accepts him in the end, her past behaviour is horrible. And who knows if she won't use her financial and political power to harm the queer society later? People in power always under suspicion tbh

Also I just realized we have got nothing about Pisaeng's father...

#waiting for the show to tell us that Kawi's mom divorced only recently #or that he has an aunt/girl frnds he was close to before coming to uni #the clown makeup stays on #this is very disorganised #and I do not have the energy to write everything properly cause like #too real. too personal. let me crawl back to my world of fanfics where every queer's guaranteed a happy ending #but woo who knew writing tumblr meta is so liberating #this is free therapy u.u #I'm supposed to be writing a bmf fic but I wrote this why why brain #also f politicians.#we do not support politicians in this blog #be my favorite #there's so many other posts about this topic that I really really liked but haven't tagged cause my memory is shit and me forgot T.T #ty ty ppl for writing and for creating a safe space #<333

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jaegerbroshoe · 2 months

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I was wondering-- what is it that you found about oli's interview that was very interesting or things that the left refuses to discusses?

youtube

He admitted all his trans issues were because he struggled with his identity his whole life, and I think it’s admirable that he’s finally come to acknowledge that and is doing so publicly.

My comment about the left shutting down conversations was more about my observations over the past week or so listening to the voices of people I previously never even gave a chance, simply because of the leftist hive mentality I was sucked into—that anything “rightist” is automatically evil and shouldn’t even be entertained—as well as what I’ve come to learn is the illusory truth effect—if you hear or see something repeated enough times, you will start to believe it’s true even if it’s not (e.g. I was fooled into believing JK Rowling is transphobic when she’s literally not).

I recommend watching people like Amir Odom (who is what really got me started on this whole journey), Buck Angel, and Blaire White, who are all non-leftist LGBT people that are actually very respectful and provide authentic perspectives without resorting to screaming at people and throwing insults. (Matt Walsh, Steven Crowder, and Piers Morgan—all non-LGBT non-leftists—also make very good points regarding this topic).

These woke left “activists” simply refuse to listen to the experiences/voices of LGBT people that don’t validate their own narrative—detransitioners, most of whom transitioned as children, are not allowed to share their experiences (they are bullied and shunned from this so-called community of love, simply for having a different experience), actual trans people, women, and LGB people can’t speak up about being erased/forced out of their spaces, and literally no one can raise concerns over letting children alter their bodies permanently when they can’t comprehend the concept of consent/taking drugs that are literally used to sterilize adults/being used as human experiments for all these medical procedures that haven’t even been tested, without being automatically labelled as “tRaNsPhObiC!1!1”.

And it’s bonkers because the LGBT community (and many other people like tomboys and feminine boys—what this mob is essentially now trying to claim as “non binary” and “trans” 🙄) has literally been hijacked by this crazy extremely leftist mob that is erasing the meanings of all these words that have been well-defined for centuries and are literally essential for the existence of LGBT in the first place.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, biological sex, gender norms, the purpose/function of pronouns in the English language… none of these mean anything anymore because this woke mob wants to tick off as many labels on their oppression card as they can, and they’re bullying the rest of the world into believing their delusions.

Basically, being extremely left makes you as bad as being extremely right, as extremists are the people who are actually always discriminatory. That is all to say, I encourage you to just do your own research and look into different perspectives before you make your own conclusions. That’s what critical thinking entails and it’s really dangerous just to surround yourself with like-minded individuals, which I personally have the tendency to do because I’m an avoider who hates discomfort (and I know that’s not healthy).

It’s not like I suddenly agree with the argument/perspective of every single conservative or YouTubers I’m watching (e.g. I’m still pro LGBT, anti guns, pro abortion, etc.). But the point is, you should be able to admit when someone is right about something even if they’re wrong about something else. And I’ve just come to realize I was brainwashed into abandoning a lot of beliefs I always had by leftist ideology, which is actually extremely defeatist, promotes a victim mentality, and is all in all not at all healthy.

#asks #the new left agenda is to shut down conversations with ‘omg that’s transpohobic’#and it’s not conducive to anything #this new mentality is very much cult like #one of the interviews I watched was between an ex mormon and buck angel where the girl discusses how she sees the parallels as someone who #+ escaped a cult #so yeah anyways it’s just scary #this woke shit is out of control and it’s having real consequences #and also I finally remember what trans actually means lol #I started thinking it wasn’t even a real thing because it was getting so ridiculous and contradictory but trans is a real thing #just not what these new clowns are claiming it is #which is honestly so disrespectful #anyways I can go on a lot about this topic but I’m tired #and I just encourage everyone to leave their comfortable space and look at the perspective of someone you disagree with #you can still disagree at the end but it’s healthy to be able to listen without getting triggered and just agreeing to disagree peacefully #which I had at one point lost the ability to do thanks to surrounding myself by other snowflakes lmao #also I didn’t realize how bad it was because I’m not on tiktok #and I only saw reddit headlines and comments which tend to be left #a lot of times I wouldn’t agree but I didn’t realize I was internalizing that shit still on some level #my opinion #global issues #rant #me stuff #I’ve come to realize my colleague at work had a point though and her being confused about LGBT isn’t actually just because she’s muslim #she’s confused because the woke agenda is conflating things that shouldn’t be conflated #the shit they’re teaching at school is not right and is not what LGBT really is #they are grooming kids #and giving us such a bad image it’s undoing all the acceptance LGBT has gained in society up until now

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