i was a trans man until after a lot of build up of doubting myself, i finally realized that we are putting ourselves further into boxes by not accepting that we are the biological sex that we are and we can do WHATEVER we want at the same time.
clothes and makeup and certain interests do not equal gender.
and not liking being a woman is an unfortunately natural symptom of puberty and/or experiencing society’s deeply ingrained misogyny. and everyone deserves support for those problems.
but we can all fight together against gender social constructs in a healthy way without prescribing people hormones and invasive cosmetic surgery to make them more like the sex they “should” be according to… social constructs…. and help them be comfortable in who they are
Alright. Its been like 9 fucking months that I have been staring down this ask. What better time than to give TERFs some nuance than right in the middle of a fucking hate campaign going on where people (well... singular person probably) are calling me a TERF. This wont backfire.
This post arrived in my inbox shortly after I made another post about gender, and just how fucking weird it can be, and how I genuinely believed every single person on this planet has a fascinating relationship with gender, and so much nuance and personal identity in theirs. Even cis people. Even TERFs. In the tags, I even begrudgingly encouraged TERFs to talk about their gender on that post if they wanted. I genuinely think that TERFs do have really cool relationships with gender. As I mentioned in those tags, the quickest way to explode a group of TERFs is to get them to start talking about their own relationships with gender, and see how vastly different it is, and watching them stab each other in the back over it. So I told them to ramble away about how they view gender, as long as they stayed the fuck away from the rest of the blog WHICH THIS ANON CLEARLY FUCKING IGNORED.
But... this anon does bring up another topic I want to talk about.
Detransition.
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I am a huge supporter of detransitioning. This is... surprisingly... not a very common stance in the trans community, and it breaks my fucking heart. Like, I get it. I understand why. A LOT of detransitioners, like the person in this ask, end up weaponizing their feelings of gender against other trans people.
My support of transition comes from the intersection of two very central beliefs of mine:
Everyone should explore their gender without feeling a need to commit! This is a pretty common belief in the trans community! Damn near universal in fact! We even have a fun little term we use for people who decide to play around with gender, only to end up a bit closer to where they started and being perfectly happy with that: Cis+. Someone who is cis, but at least put in the work to understand the trans experience, and actually CHOOSE to remain Cis instead of just defaulting to it with societal pressure. Many trans people are much more comfortable around 'Cis+' people, because they know these are people who have taken the time and put in the work of being an ally. Self examination isn't easy, especially not publicly, and doing so is genuinely one of the strongest ways a Cis person could ever show their support.
It is never too late to transition. This is also a pretty common belief in the trans community! It is... sadly not quite as universal though. But it is something very important that needs to be said. You could be 80 years old, sitting in a retirement home, and go "You know what? I think I'd rather wear a dress and be treated like a lady. I don't want to be buried as a man." And I think every single trans person should have that freedom!
I was discussing this with @thydungeongal the other day, far more paraphrased than this post, and she said something incredible that has been knocking around in my head ever since.
"Gender is an ongoing process"
Those five words they said to me sum up my feelings far more than this entire post could. Gender IS an ongoing process. My gender has changed SO MUCH over the past three decades. From the straightjacket of assigned gender that I was once forced into; to the very stylish and still lovable finely tailored suit of femininity that grew a little too stuffy to wear constantly, even though I do still enjoy it and try it on from time to time; to the wonderful and freeing losely fitting clothing of being aegogender, finally feeling free to be myself and just act naturally and feel natural without having to keep up an appearance!
And I think, there is no length of time you can try out being trans, and trying out new genders, before eventually coming to the realization you were cis all along. Even if you started HRT. Even if you got SRS. Heck, I don't even think you should have to call yourself trans to do either of those things in the first place, why would I be upset that someone did them and then realized they weren't trans? No single moment in your life should EVER lock your gender in place into some unchanging, set in stone thing.
So I support detransitioners completely, with my entire heart. They deserve just as much support as every other 'Cis+' person out there.
So anon, while many people may hate you and lash out at you for detransitioning, I want you to know, that I am not one of them. It sounds like your detransition might have been forced by peer pressure, which is heart breaking to hear. No one should ever force their own gender expectations on another. I hope that wasn't the case. I hope you came to the decision yourself, after realizing whats right for you. I will never give you hate for your detransition.
I WILL ABSOLUTELY GIVE YOU HATE FOR BEING A FUCKING TERF THOUGH. YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE WITH GENDER DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO POLICE THE GENDER OF OTHERS, FUCK OFF. GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
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"The best way I can protect you is to teach you how to protect yourself"
See, this! I love this! Because this is Anakin talking the talk of a jedi- this is their philosophy, this is how they raise kids. This is what he learned from Obi Wan. He tried to train Ahsoka as a jedi. He understood that he might not be able to protect her, that he couldn't smother her, only try to teach her how to survive. This is how he’s meant to channel his fear of losing her- into teaching her the skills she needs. This is his job! This is why he was asked to train her, this is his greatest achievement as a jedi- teaching Ahsoka everything he could
But he's Anakin, so even while he talks the talk, he’s guided by fear and he takes it to an unhealthy extreme, pushing and pushing with a manic edge to it. And as always he thinks the jedi are too soft. Even Rex is concerned.
And then of course there’s the heartbreaking way his care for her is shadowed by his betrayal. The irony of his acknowledgement that he wouldn’t always be there to protect her is that other padawans, Cal and little Caleb who was watching Ahsoka’s test with stars in his eyes, survived order 66 because their Masters did protect them, gave their lives for them! ...but Anakin was the reason Ahsoka was in danger. Anakin was the one who traded her life for his happiness. And years later he would try to kill her with his own blade.
And Rex, who cared so much too, was just as instrumental in her survival as her training was. Anakin abandoned her, but she wasn’t alone, just like Caleb and Cal weren’t alone, just like Obi Wan survived because of his partnership with Boga.
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I am having late night sleepover thoughts but like.
The thing about Naoto's arc is that if you insist on reading it solely as a story about sexism and Naoto only presents as male to avoid workplace sexism...
Then it's a shitty arc that fails at that goal? Because you'd like. Expect as part of that arc to have Naoto embrace feminity, say "I'm good enough on my own I don't need to present as male to get what I want" and in general be the most generic 90s-mid 2000s baby's first feminism arc but it ISN'T
Like. Ok sure some of the spin offs that take place post game give Naoto a more feminine design but the base game itself? Getting Naoto to dress in a skirt is like pulling teeth.
I cannot stress this enough guys, Disney's Mulan does not have Mulan continue to present as Ping once she is found out (and I don't say this to deny a trans reading of Mulan. I'm saying this as a basic point of comparison for a cis reading of Naoto)
Like what is Cis Naoto's story? "She presents as a dude to gain more respect. When she is in a peer group that doesn't care about her gender... she still presents as male because she can never really overcome the sexism of broader society by being herself?"
Yeah, what a great thing to implicitly tell your female players, and yet it never comes up?
Almost like people who are emphatically against a queer reading of Naoto's arc haven't really thought through the implications of a straight/cis reading either, they just say "it's about sexism, idiot" and leave it at that
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Things I thought about after Watching and Dreaming, with no particular order. Much of this is pulled directly from my notes document
Hunters tv tropes page says Caleb is hinted to be albino
Lilith may have let Luz fall in Agony of a Witch if Eda hadn't sent Owlbert to catch her
Hunter relaxes slightly with everyone else at the beginning of For the Future when Luz says she's okay after coming out of the portal. He's relieved she's okay, even wrapped up in his own head as he is
Belos lights up the Titan's opposite eye from the one the Titan has lit. The Titan has a functioning left eye but a dim right one, and Belos lit the right one. King has a crack on the left side of his skull, Eda has a grey left eye, Luz has a scar over her left eyebrow. All of the Flapjack tattoos are on the left side except for Hunter's, which is where his sigil was (or is, if they had just started developing that technology and hadn't removed it yet)
The palistrom shortage was not only from Belos taking palismen, but also using the wood to make grimwalkers
Oh no did he ask Hunter to kill the Selkidomus because he expected this grimwalker to be the last and he wasn't giving himself room for failure. He needed to complete his mission, and failure wasn't an option if he couldn't make more grimwalkers. Because he had to have Caleb in the picture.
The fact that the show itself says point-blank that Belos is genuinely delusional and his goals are self-serving (through the Titan talking with Luz)
King never saw the room full of Titan skulls in Edge of the World, so he's seeing it for the first time in Watching and Dreaming
Luz's scene of standing and watching Belos melt while he tries to talk to her perfectly mirrors the scene of ghost Caleb standing and watching Belos melt while Belos tries to talk to him. They have the same expressions, angles, shots. And it's flipped. The scene is flipped. It's literally mirrored. And she has a similar hair thing going on. A fluffy hair noodle.
The speech Belos gave to Luz probably parallels how he tried to convince his brother
Luz's Titan magic orb is like the light glyph. King also had one when he yelled at Belos. Also Luz was zapping around like Hunter, the sound effect is even reminiscent
The parallels between Belos' skeletal form and the Titan's skeletal form
Waffle/s sitting on Hunter's head at the very end,,, feels familiar. No I'm not crying
Alador doesn't hunch anymore, and his belt has three symbols for each of his 3 kids
King finally got to play catch
Willow is definitely about to kiss Hunter in the Grom photo. Also look at his suit. Atrocious. Absolutely wretched. Perfect.
Green fungus vs red grass. Just. The colors in general there's so so so much going on there I have so many thoughts about it
Polly
The fact that Caleb's kindness and forgiveness did not work on Philip. Caleb hugged his brother even as Philip was corrupted and monstrous and it did not work. And the Collector ran into the same problem. Can you stop haunting the narrative for five minutes
Dana as a Hexside student cameo
The earrings exchange
The basilisks!!! At least two others survived!! And maybe reunited with Vee! This is excellent news
The airship with the abomination styled like the way Luz styled the Blight's household abomination to look like a cat
Dana signing Luz's writing scholarship. Luz getting a writing scholarship. Remember at the end of ASIAS when Lumity had the idea of their book club also being a writing club
Amity recognizing Luz quoting Azura in Covention (which Luz also outright states) but not saying anything. Imagine her inner dialogue, must have been so confusing
The kid who introduced sigil application way back when being the one to introduce the removal process. Good for him
Amity and Lilith have a good relationship. They were sort of like a mirror of Luz and Eda's mentor-mentee relationship such a long time ago, but less healthy. Now they're friends
Hunter gets all the family ties. Clearly a Noceda because of Thanks to Them, clearly a Deamonne from Watching and Dreaming, which also makes him a Blight, and he also gets Eberwolf with Darius because of course. If you include being a clone of Eda & Lilith's great-something grandfather AND being Luz's sister AND the fact that there may be a shared guardianship of Luz between Camila and Eda, which also includes Raine, he gets to be a Clawthorne, which also means he gets to be a Whispers. And let's not forget how he's obviously also a Park. If desired, for good measure, you can cite brotherly relation and tack on Porter as well. And don't forget the actual canon where he is adopted by the entire school as the resident cryptid
Hunter is literally a cryptid and I have been thinking about this for a very long time. I wish they got to talk about that more but they didn't, which means it's free real estate
The sheer amount of love and care baked into the finale. It's splendid. The hugs and kisses and words and actions and feelings
Eda and King both got mega evolutions. Then Luz did too
Making a stand against Belos at the site of the DOU. Paralleling prior shots, like looking over the Isles and talking about destiny, the parallels between Luz's Titan mega evolution vs Hunter's possession (there's quite a lot)
How they avoided the feeling of powercreep by keeping a lot of the actions very readable and down-to-earth. Even when they were fighting kaiju puritan with decay laser, there weren't world-shattering mega-powers. Everything was built on what we already understood. We got glyphs, we got Harpy mode and Beast mode and King's powers were heightened but they were still the same powers, we got Luz with her staff and Belos with his usual strategy, Raine fighting back in ways we already understood but also ways which meant more (like breaking their instrument). The archives collapsing and the Collector holding them up with ribbons while standing on the shooting star, we understand those powers because we saw them earlier, it made sense
While the archives start falling, Hunter zips toward Willow before stopping short when they stop falling. Hmmm now where have we seen something like that before. For reference I am talking about COTH
Amity finally using a glyph
Amity using vines, Willow using fire. That's the reversal of their usual things. Amity used the fire spell in Adventures in the Elements, that was tough for her. Willow's got plants down. Hunter using ice. Gus flying around and levitating
Hunter being able to save a palisman
Eda's absolutely MASSIVE smiles throughout
Magic coming from the heart, callback to The Intruder
The massive Titan heart in the throne room appearing way back when, and us all wondering about it, and it finally FINALLY came back with significance. Awesome
Luz burning away the rot before making an ice path to give her a clear shot at Belos. Utilizing the glyphs to their fullest, one after the other, super fast. She's become fluent in the Titan's language
Luz's confident speech to Belos paralleling her prior speeches in a moment of pure epicness as she annihilates him. And that's the last she ever says to him
The Collector crowning the Titan
The Titan acknowledging that he went after the wrong person
Everyone being so very gender
The Collector explaining "Hide and Seek" scene was just so. Intense. Them not understanding how mortals work. How empathy works. They're a young child who was raised by the wrong sort of people, they honestly didn't know any better. But that's when compassion comes in
The way the Collector flinched away from Amity paints a bad picture of the sorts of expectations he has
The Hexside kids are okay!!
Belos obviously tries one last Hail Mary, and Luz Is Not Having It
Did the rain come from Luz channeling the Titan's powers?
You can see scarring on Raine's arm. Almost matching Eda. And someone else we know. They should talk
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