alcina. (belonging)
fem. reader
you are an angel amongst mountains of silk.
the soft of your hair rests loosely, untied or tucked, flyaways aplenty from the static of her sofa pillows surrounding your tiny, wonderful body. the nightgown you wear, deep, dark as freshly pressed wine, sits low upon your shoulders, exposing delicate, supple skin waiting, wishing to be devoured. she almost hoped you meant it a distraction, mischief hidden beneath innocence. but you watch her dress for her family meeting with earnest, curious eyes, no such gleam of trouble anywhere to be found.
alcina adored you.
“pet, don’t you have some resting to do?” she says, a trace of tease in her strong voice. she stands before her dressing mirror, catching your eyes in the reflection. her hands smooth the sides of her dress, white as snow, her tint of skin, taking pleasure in how eagerly your gaze follows. “i won’t be long, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
your chin lays tilted on the settee’s armrest, a sideways view still plenty pleasing. she feels your eyes linger on her undone face, her natural self on display. alcina pretends not to notice.
“may i help you with your makeup?” you ask.
she turns to you, shocked. her expression must betray otherwise, or be more severe than she’d realized, for you shrink back and avert your eyes away. “oh, i’m sorry, i’ve misspoken—”
alcina is quick to wave you off, tutting her apology. “my dear, you surprised me, is all. i thought you liked watching me apply.”
“i do! it’s-it’s just…” you say, blinking up at her like a cherub from a renaissance capture, sweet and rosy. “at the very least, i’d like to choose a lipstick for you, if it’s quite alright.”
there’s a familiar pull of skin, crinkles and laughlines accompanying her ardent smile. “come now, it’s more than alright.”
her powder smells of rosewater and talc. it falls like stardust upon you, landing on dolce lips and fluttering lashes.
it is commonplace for alcina to situate you on her lap as she goes about her makeup routine, a process long enough to warrant your presence being. the time is spent watching her work, holding brushes or palates for her to choose between, and the occasional touch of lips exchanged.
you know to be patient, and keep still.
with a final run of a brush over her eyelids, she seals the look of her part, taking a moment to examine herself in her vanity’s reflection. she tries not to chuckle at the way you squirm with excitement, now knowing the finishing touch was all yours to claim. she calms you with a hand brushing over your waist. with the other, she reveals to you her drawer packed full with lip colors of every kind, from the peachiest pink to the deepest violet.
“the honors, girl.”
you trace indecisive lines over bullets of every size and shape. you worry for time, shown through quivering hands, but alcina’s touch splayed across your back is patient, watchful. she’s enjoying this, your eager, careful wish of adorning her. time taken is for her sake.
you uncap a bullet to find a bright, fiery shade of scarlet.
“this one.” you decide, holding it up for her to see. “if it’s all the same to you, mistress.”
she nods an approval, then eyes you with a calm, amused smile. “you know i trust you’ll see me off best, dear.”
you swivel around in her lap, until your legs hang over her thighs, your little arms steadying yourself with the help of her wide, powerful shoulders. alcina does not miss how longingly you gaze at her décolletage, how the static white of her skin differs from yours. her large hands settle themselves upon your thighs, your nightgown exposing the soft, sensitive flesh with the lift of your movements.
she smells the heat of blood pulsing between your ribs.
“may i?” you ask, in a breathless sort of voice.
“please do, lest i arrive fashionably late.”
the gentle way you cup her face almost makes her laugh. you, with hands the size of rosebuds, your very being no larger than one of beneviento’s dolls. with concentration lacing your brow you focus on dotting her lips alight, creamy color bright against her skin. it resembles greatly the bite of blood, or the homemade wine she tastes of. it takes all you have not to lean in for one.
“you’re lovely.” you say, meek as a lamb. you click the bullet in place with a snap, holding it up for alcina to take. she does, but clasps her hand around your arm for a good while.
“such a sweetheart.” she purrs, eyes crinkling with her signature dazzle. “i won’t be long, you hear? but i still want you in bed by the time i get back. rest, rest, rest.” with the same hand alcina lowers you to the ground, paying another look at her reflection before standing upright. she watches you, raising a brow, until you scurry off and up her bed, showing your usual obedience. she has no reason to worry.
“be safe, mistress.” you whisper beneath velvet and lace.
alcina beams with a grin of pleasure. “always.”
her bedroom doors slam close behind the exit of her gargantuan being.
with a loud click, they are locked shut.
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Recent Events and Reactions
CW suicide mention, transphobia and hate:
I am a trans woman who has been out and about for about 20 years presenting as myself in public. Things are so much better now in so many ways, though I do worry about the anti-trans laws being passed.
Recently, the CEO of my beloved platform Tumblr melted down over a trans woman named Predstrogen. Predstrogen was perma-banned from Tumblr, and the CEO quite possibly misgendered her very nastily (I hope not) while failing to communicate well at the very least. But, far worse, he then stalked her to X/Twitter and harassed her there – apparently using his CEO power and privileged access to out certain sexually-themed handle names she used. Regardless of what she did to get the initial ban, that would be traumatizing, having a rich, powerful man follow you around on the Internet, using his power to harass and rail on you like that. I imagine she is wondering what else he might do to her now or someday when no one is watching, because I would be.
I really feel that. It brings back my trans feminine fear of men who hate us. We get under their skin in some way and they have something to prove on us. That fear they will be angry enough to do something obviously not in their own long term best interest even if it becomes publicly known. The trans panic defense is still used to justify and mitigate these responses in legal settings. And that fear of a man, in a position of power, acting violently (physically or otherwise because of who we are), is real and it happens. I was a bit triggered. There have been a lot of trans woman beaten after being with a guy and he felt guilty or like he needed to assert his masculinity, let alone someone who is just angry at you for existing.
There's been a lot of trans hate and also CEO hate going around on Tumblr, including people implying or actually wishing said CEO would commit suicide or 'lowtax' himself (which means die by suicide in this context).
But Matt is also a person, with a smart, inquisitive nature and a strong work ethic that has led him to do incredible things, like founding WordPress. Those accomplishments, and the many other social justice accomplishments he might cite, excuse nothing. Doing a certain amount of good doesn’t entitle us to doing a certain amount of bad. But our Heavenly Parents love him. He is a different person now than he was 20 years ago, and he will be a different person 20 years from now. I do not think it makes us better to wish death on someone, even when they have hurt us. And I do not blame Predstrogen for anything she may be feeling at this point, and I'm not saying she or anyone else owes forgiveness.
I am saying that to turn the other cheek, to love and pray for those who despitefully use and persecute us, is hard doctrine and not easy to understand.
But I also believe the world needs more of it. From all of us. Right now.
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