can’t believe misandrist truthers on this webbed site have the audacity to claim that lesbians and sapphics in general have any sort of privilege over gay men in media when time and time again our shows and movies and rep get cancelled one after another

Stop pretending to be so very extremely different

as compared to mspec, aspec and trans women. We all experience the synthetic oppression of being queer women, and in fact we experience it more deeply and strenuously than the (presumed white) monoallocis lesbians who are catered to by the term "lesbophobia."

You are not oppressed for being a lesbian specifically, but for being a queer woman. Stop kicking sand in your sister's faces.

i've been reading up on transandrophobia, and i was thinking. there's a lot of shitty behaviors and discriminatory attitudes towards queer men and queer masculinity in general. i wonder if maybe something like queerandrophobia should be a thing? like, a specific word for prejudices against queer men? and transandrophobia could be under it? i'd imagine that'd mean queermisogyny is also a thing but that's not my call

Interesting idea!

My first thoughts are, however, that we don't need it right now. Or more accurately, that the community isn't ready for it and will destroy it before it can do any of the good it needs to. You only need one look at how hard we're having to fight to get transandrophobia treated as a valid word to know that anything even hinting that cis queer men don't deserve to be insulted for their masculinity would be ripped limb from limb.

The majority of the queer community is really struggling with r4dfem poisoning that's been steadily seeping through almost everyone since the early 2010s, and definitely earlier if you look to lesbian separatism. Even a substantial percent of queer men, trans and cis, loathe their own masculinity from the sheer amount of anti-man vitriol that's been perpetuated by r4dfems. Words will absolutely crop up when they're needed, and one for this will. But first the men that need it need to recognise that they need it. And a lot more people need to realise that queer masculinity is not and will never be cishet masculinity.

And if this is what gets people to pay attention - with the double standards they so proudly flout - closeted transfeminine people who identify as men do not deserve to suffer and have their identity insulted by their own community until they come out, if they even do. I recommend the essay "I am a trans woman. I am in the closet. I am not coming out" for an absolutely scathing look into the damage done to trans women (and by extension cis men) by the r4dfem rhetoric so much of the community has internalised.

But a lot of the community needs an acceptable target to be nasty and derisive to, because too many of us (and too many of us that are white) haven't truly understood what equality is, or what fighting for our rights is. Too many of us just want to be on top instead of the cishets. But that's a whole other essay I could write that I won't go into.

Moving on - I hesitate to want to put transandrophobia "under" anything - it's already "under" transphobia, but the whole point of the word is to describe a specific experience that is gone through by those who are trans and masculine.

A lot of queer cis men's experiences are defined by phobias of their sexuality - homophobia, biphobia, aphobia, etc - and how their maleness relates to the repulsion with which they are treated for their queerness. The masculinity they were lauded for in cishet society now becomes an indication of their traitorousness to the Grand Heterosexual Cause. But this is also the case for cis queer women, regardless of whether or not you bring misogyny into it. Queerness makes you a target regardless of your gender. Queer women and queer men are both considered to have betrayed the natural order of things, and if they retain their femininity or masculinity they're considered somehow "lying" to the Good Heterosexual Peoples interested in Setting Them Right (typically via a romantic or sexual relationship).

Creating more terms for specific types of oppression before the need for them has arisen ends up being another way to sort us into ever more specific boxes and demand we never see each other as similar. We've seen the damage tme/tma has done to our ability to relate to each other and I absolutely do not want to repeat that again.

This ended up being REALLY long but I hope I got my thoughts across!

it’s really so sad seeing how many gay men do not give a single shit about queer women

Compulsory heterosexuality?

Don't you mean - internalized pericisamatoheteronormativity?

Like lesbians, as a lesbian - lesbians do not exclusively experience a unique manifestation of presuming oneself to be, and convincing oneself that you're actually unqueer because the idea of accepting yourself is scary.

Like totally, there is a unique intersection of queerphobia and misogyny which is experienced by all queer women, but like that is not unique to (pericisalloallomonosexial) (white) lesbians - it is in fact the least impactful for that presumptive category.

Grow the fuck up.

I can't believe I spent my whole childhood wondering exactly how much anti-homophobia might imply something revealing to be told as an adult that there were no signs.