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#ppl in fandom love watering down a character to one specific character trait and then ignoring everything else
lovehistories · 2 years
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“if you say it’s love, it’s love”: junho/young woo rs analysis + ep 12 rs development thoughts (spoilers!)
WARNING: this is long. this is so long. it wasn’t supposed to be this lengthy but things got out of hand and this is what we’re stuck with. sorry and enjoy LOL
i. overview
i think junho/young woo as a couple (and as individuals!!!! i love them so much as individuals) aren’t perfect, and i’m not saying that because i think there are any glaring problems with their relationship/relationship dynamic (defining “problems” v loosely, i’m not an old man safeguarding the moral purity in fiction lawn) but bc there’s something rly exciting about two ppl who aren’t done learning about each other and figuring out their next steps beyond “i like you” yet.
i’ve seen so much praise for lee junho’s character being a “green flag” compared to other male leads to the point that i have that phrase muted on twitter (real!™). i get why ppl are using it as a way to describe him, and i don’t want to be too overly serious about what it means for fandom when something like that becomes grounds for bragging rights (pls consider the idea that we should all just play in different sandboxes instead of trying to convince ppl that Our Sandbox Is The Best Sandbox), but....i do think about the fact that some ppl might find themselves enjoying junho’s character a lot less if they keep expecting him to be an arbitrary kind of perfect. 
ii. junho’s characterization
from the 1st episode, junho is a lot of things: patient, considerate, observant, honest, a good listener, and innately kind, someone who actually wants to know how you’re doing and how your day went once he’s asked. no one’s questioning that he isn’t a rly good guy or not ranking at #1 in the annual nicest-person-working-at-hanbada poll LOL, but he’s also a human being with a full range of emotions like a lot of us. 
i’ve seen a few complaints here and there that ppl can’t get into junho as a character or junho/youngwoo as a ship bc junho’s “only personality trait is liking young woo” but i don’t think that’s true when that conclusion rests on the assumption that junho as a character only exists to one-sidedly love and support young woo without having any actual feelings about it. i think we’ve seen over and over again that junho has A LOT, a lot of feelings about young woo, but he also has a lot of feelings about love, responsibility, and what constitutes a romantic relationship in general. 
there are so!!! many moments when junho immediately and intensely rejects other ppl when they trespass on his feelings for young woo or scrutinize the depth of what he feels. when his (college??) friends are hyper analyzing their relationship and esp!!! when there’s the comment that it’s not love that junho is feeling but sympathy, his first move is to physically lunge at the person who said it. the music that plays in the bg (slow, solemn, not violent or aggressive sounding) moves me away from thinking that junho’s anger is the only emotional takeaway we’re supposed to get out of the scene. it’s not an impulsive move on junho’s part to lash out when he hears something that he doesn’t like. there was a buildup and a choice, you can see it in his eyes. in my opinion, it’s genuine heartbreak at the idea that his love for young woo could be watered down to something as (contextually) Less as sympathy and that young woo as a person is being seen as a person who, at most, is only capable of being sympathized with instead of as a person who loves and is loved. 
when suyeon tells him not to keep engaging with young woo (specifically with her whale talk) by inadvertently setting up an expectation that it’ll be a long-term thing if his feelings are temporary, he’s adamant and hurt at the thought of his feelings being so flimsy or seen as a phase. he’s someone who takes ppl, ppl’s feelings, and his own feelings seriously (which is why i think that we see him hesitate with so much helplessness and vulnerability in the face of young woo’s straightforward confessions and “i like you”s. for young woo, liking someone is liking someone so she’s comfortable with saying that and learning as she goes, but junho 1000% feels like someone who’s a pre-planner that acts with intention when he’s all in). 
when he and minwoo are drinking in their apartment and minwoo asks him if he already thinks that the hypothetical relationship won’t last, not knowing who junho likes, junho is clearly angry that someone would even suggest that, like it would jinx things. that same fear of things being out of his hands and ending in a broken relationship comes up again when he and young woo are walking along the famous deoksugung stone wall and she tells him that there’s a myth that couples who walk the length of the wall together will break up. he takes even the chance of them breaking up so seriously, pausing and asking her if they should stop. the anxiety is obvious.
the thing that i’m trying to get across here is that junho isn’t going to be a “perfect” male lead in the sense that the only emotion he’ll ever feel is as-long-as-young-woo-likes-it-i-like-it-too. his love/like for young woo isn’t vacuous. it’s paired with a lot of other things, like learning and communicating and asking for reciprocation when he wants/needs it. 
i so love the way that junho is a fully rounded person who’s figuring things out, with emotions like jealousy, insecurity, anger, sincerity, confusion, and frustration. i think a lot of the time, whether it’s kdramas or other forms of media, the romantic relationships that are shown between two ppl are: person a who has everything figured out and wants to catch person b up to speed through compassionate means x person b who has x amount of issues and is still learning and struggling with how to be a person alongside being a person in a relationship. it’s rly refreshing to see two people figuring out how to fit each other into their respective worlds because of the mutual understanding that they have feelings for one another and find that important.
iii. junho/young woo’s relationship
a lot of what makes junho/young woo so special and genuine to me is that these are two people who are learning how to love each other alongside one another. the learning is so important. their journey is step by step and it’s a path they’re walking together, a space where they can safely make mistakes and figure out how to resolve them, outside of society’s judging eyes and outside of the other people in their lives. 
for young woo who’s never been in a romantic relationship before, everything is new. there’s new things to consider about forms of affection like holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc. there’s old things to consider too like her personal boundaries and what she is/isn’t comfortable with, whether or not she has positive, romantic feelings for junho. there’s also social convention when it comes to dating and learning about what junho’s needs are, what’s considerate and inconsiderate, and what things she can do to reciprocate junho’s affection for her (i.e. asking him if he wants to hang up after calling him, conveying her feelings for him without running away, having a pre-determined time for whale talk, etc). 
for junho, there’s the struggle of trying to figuring out how not to cross the line with young woo and having to curb his own impulses so that he can meet young woo where she’s at. he takes the time to learn more about autism (junho memorizing an excerpt from the text he was reading re: autistic people with sensory overload after he walked young woo home made me so :’) bc he took his research just as seriously as young woo takes the law. plus their matchy memorization!!), i think with the expectation that he’ll have to use it one day. even with all that aside, i think junho just wants to learn about young woo as a person. it’s why he asks if they can restrict whale talk to lunchtime and why he’s so happy when young woo tells him things about herself and says that it makes it easier to understand her. 
reciprocation is rly, to me, one of the biggest reasons that young woo and junho work so well together as a couple. even when they’re unsure about a situation, they read each other/infer things about each other accurately. when junho brings up holding hands while walking home together, young woo explains why hand-holding is uncomfortable for her but still asks if he wants to try anyway, limited as the time might be. 
it’s not about the hope that junho will magically be the only person that young woo will enjoy holding hands with or that her touch aversion will just go away. it’s the fact that she offers to try anyway because she knows that it’s something that might be important to him. when junho leans in for a kiss after the case is closed and young woo walks him home in ep 10, he takes a step back when he sees that she’s uncomfortable. he’s disappointed, but he’s not angry and he’s not impatient with her. young woo again being the person who gets to takes a step forward is so lovely. she comes to her own conclusion about what she wants (what they both want LOL) and initiates their first kiss. junho initiating their second kiss is also so sweet to me. they’re absolutely equals in their relationship.
iv. episode 12
that’s why the conversation that young woo and junho have in ep 12 was such a pleasant surprise for me. ppl have been calling it young woo/junho’s first argument, but i saw it more as a debate between young woo and junho with them each stating their “sides” (i.e. their relationship status and what qualifies as “dating”) and having to re-consider where their “opponent” is coming from. young woo is under the impression that they’re going on dates but not actually dating because they never explicitly said that they were dating, something that’s completely reasonable and applies to aliistic ppl in romantic relationships too. 
for junho, who has a clear sense of what romance entails for him and what forms of affection he shows as a person in a romantic relationship, it’s baffling that the relationship he has with young woo isn’t already considered official. they’re both approaching dating from two different camps of philosophy. you can prefer/empathize with one side more than the other for sure, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that any one side is “wrong” or that any one side is a bad person for thinking that way.
reading the qrts of the ep 12 clip on twitter was a bad exercise in human curiosity, but my biggest piece of advice for ppl who were instinctively hurt by what junho said (and i meant hurt, not anxious, what i’m saying doesn’t need to apply if it triggered anxiety for you), is to rewatch the scene with a different mindset. not everything that someone says outside of explicit praise is inherently negative or antagonistic. ppl are allowed to feel things outside of love and respect for their significant others without suddenly becoming a terrible partner, and those two emotions don’t disappear when/bc ppl are feeling anger or frustration. 
imo, junho’s “if we’re not dating, why would i protest to free the dolphins on my day off?” isn’t supposed to be a statement that undermines young woo’s interests or what’s important to her. it’s a real argument that he’s making just like he’s made with other ppl in the past who didn’t take his relationship with young woo seriously, except this time his opponent is young woo herself. if we follow junho’s character arc, i think we can come to the conclusion that in this moment where young woo is questioning whether or not they’re actually dating (again, still a valid and understandable attitude to have), junho is hurt because his feelings are being (unintentionally! obviously unintentionally!) seemingly diminished and invalidated by the very person that he has all of these intense feelings for. 
there’s a restrained sense of annoyance, overall disbelief at the situation, along with obvious frustration, but he’s still trying to explain himself in a way that’s not accusatory or relying on guilt-tripping. he still insists that he cares about freeing dolphins, he explains that the dates that young woo had listed are out of the ordinary for most ppl, and he’s still carefully watching her reactions to what he’s saying so that she doesn’t get hurt.
the problem from junho’s pov is likely that his way of showing affection: taking an interest in young woo’s interests, trying to get closer to her and enter her world by doing things that he normally wouldn’t do, isn’t...working? as in it’s not being seen for what it is by the person that he’s doing these things for, which doesn’t make his efforts fruitless exactly (there’s no ulterior motive to doing things that he doesn’t usually find fun with young woo. no matter what they’re doing, it’s obvious that he just wants to spend time with her and get to know her better), but does end up feeling a little disappointing. are his feelings not being seen as strong enough to be taken seriously? is he not being taken seriously as a partner? junho is a character who feels things often and feels them visibly, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise plot wise that this is a moment where he feels like he has to speak the truth.
junho’s “it’s not like it’s fun,” is another statement that i think might have been taken rly personally by ppl on the outside (aka the viewers) when it’s a rly blasé comment once you take a step back to think about it. i understand why the guttural reaction of oh-no-so-he-was-faking-having-fun-with-her-that’s-not-how-an-ideal-male-lead-acts-maybe-he-doesn’t-like-young-woo-as-much-or-as-deeply-as-we-all-thought???? happens, but that doesn’t mean that i think it’s logical or fair. 
ppl have different interests obviously, but more than that, time well spent isn’t always time that could be considered conventionally “fun.” i don’t think we’re meant to read the situation as junho suffering through these dates with young woo like he was dragging his feet the whole time, but more like their ideas of “fun” in a romantic context differ. for young woo, maybe it is romantic enough to be with the person you like while doing the things that are important to the both of you (young woo’s immediate “do you not agree that dolphins should be freed?” LOL), but for junho, there’s clearly a bigger inclination toward traditional aspects of romance when it comes to dating/dates. 
when you’re dating someone, of course there’s going to be compromise. you do things that your partner is interested in that you might not personally care for, like going to the aerospace museum or seeing a play, but that doesn’t mean that there’s an expectation that you have to personally find those things fun or want to do them all the time. junho might not find running by the han river and picking up trash to be his ideal, “fun” date, but he still has a bright smile on his face when he hears young woo calling for him. not having fun doesn’t mean not enjoying the time you do spend with your significant other or not finding joy in their joy.
most of junho’s reservations and complaints about their unconventional dates from what we’ve seen are actually bc he wants attention from young woo that he’s not getting. i don’t mean this in an immature, junho only wants young woo to see him kind of way, but in a junho-wants-to-be-in-their-own-two-person-world-while-on-a-date kind of way, where the focus is on their relationship and its development. he wants to get to know young woo better, he wants young woo to get to know himself better, and he can’t do that when she’s solely focused on saving the dolphins and picking up garbage and winning the game they’re playing. 
junho’s despondent, “that day, you really only picked up garbage. you picked up garbage again and again as the day got brighter until that huge basket was full,” is completely said with the sulky tone of an ignored puppy whose owner got distracted by something else. junho’s “attorney woo, you’re great at this,” when they were playing find the difference was the same. he was happy and interested in how good she was at the game even when she was consistently beating him, and he only ended up disappointed when she didn’t engage with him afterward. if young woo had split her focus between the things she was doing and junho himself, i think he would’ve enjoyed their dates a lot more.
tl;dr
saying that something is perfect usually means nothing can be improved and that it’s in a finished and complete state, and i don’t think that applies to junho as a person or to junho/young woo’s relationship because they’re 1) human beings and 2) still learning how to love each other in the best way possible. their relationship would be a lot more enjoyable for ppl if they could put down the green flag descriptor and fully enjoy junho’s character, learning curve and all, when it comes to how to approach romance with young woo. he’s not as unrealistic as you’d think once you start looking at the emotional ups and downs that he has too.
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