I want to love you and not be terrified of it, of you of what it could change but I would love you poorly if I loved with anything less than my full heart and I would love you wrongly if I didn't cherish each piece of you please give me time if you can grant me patience I am creature of selfishness and fear and you make me want to be brave but casting off the long played roles is more difficult than anything I have tried but I swear one day my lips will tell you all

-- until then, I am always half honest by Abby S

you should have told her, that she gave you butterflies and made your palms sweaty but you didn't. you should have told her, that her voice was the one you'd hear in a crowded room. that you wanted to listen to that laugh for the rest of your life. but you didn't. you should have told her, that when she kissed your cheek for the first time, it fixed your broken heart and re- awakened your soul. but you didn't. you should have told her, that night you were scared. that to love her, would mean you'd be in ruin. you couldn't face what it would mean if she didn't love you. you were scared that eventually after all this time to listen to your heart you'd loose her and her love. but you didn't. you should have told her, outside on that cold january night that she was worth the risk of heartbreak. that looking into her eyes hoping she wouldn't see past your facade, that the truth was beating out of your chest. you should have told her the truth but you didn't. you should have told her, that if you kissed her it wouldn't be a meaningless kiss. it would always be more than that. she'd always mean more than that. but you didn't. you should have told her, you were falling in love before she fell for someone else. but you didn't. you should have told her, that seeing her with someone else was slowly breaking your heart. but you didn't. you should have told her, that you could be that person she wanted. that you'd love her forever. but you didn't. you should have told her, to stay. that when she left you'd be missing half of yourself, you'd only be half whole. but you didn't. i should have told you, i loved you but i didn’t.

things i should have told you, but didn’t.//t.c

but she’s a hero, you know. the strong kind, the hold-up-the-sky kind, the too-good-for-this-world kind. she’s a hero, and she doesn’t deserve this.  because she is kind, too-good-for-this-world kind, and i think that’s what makes her a hero. her heart is too big, and she carries it in her hands and i think it’s as heavy as the sky anyway and even if atlas was never a hero, she is.  and she’s a hero, and she doesn’t deserve this, but we all know how this story ends and even if you rip out the last page it doesn’t stop the story from ending.  she’s a hero, she is, and one day it’s going to kill her. because her heart is too big, and she carries it in her hands, and no one can hold up the sky forever.

— heroes are only heroes until it takes its toll // p.s. (edit for @1-800-hellyeah)

"people who see the soft and quiet and beautiful will always want to hurt it"

— soft, by Oliver J. Allen

Shouting into the void

Hoping something feels called

To answer me back with

A hello or an ily

Some people need compassion, and cannot find any. Others cannot find compassion within themselves to share with others. That all people have compassion in their lives, actively, both to receive and to share, this I pray.

james lee jobe

i am a graveyard; a mausoleum of old wounds and discarded desires, a cemetery of abandoned ambitions and girls i could have been.

i am a mirrorball; shattered and shining, a collection of jigsaw pieces crushed together to make a half-hoping, half-desperate facade.

i am a daughter; treading on uncertain tip-toes, tired and faltering, voice hoarse and knees bruised from years of begging to be loved.

— i am trying; l.h.

You took something from me

A hope you never gave

A ray of starlight you never meant shine

You took my belonging

My welcome

My love

And turned it away

And it hurts like i was broken

Like I was crushed and left to die

But nothing was your fault

A simple mistake

A slip of the tongue

A moment's bliss for thousands

But now it's gone

It healed something in me

It gave me a place to be

(What you got to be when you took it back)

Just me

Read the tags

I want to go back, To the threads of this third interconnected space but the past is not a home but a haunt. I don't know who or what became stagnant, or if my roots just became too big for the pot I was planted in. You moved on, and that's good and fine, and yes it's selfish having been the first to drift but I'd have liked to wish you well in the leaving; Maybe curiosity will pique your interest, and you'll find my reply, three maybe four years delayed. I expected things to be the same, but there are still old loves, new joys: I missed you, I hope you're doing well.

Messier 31

You remember at the speed of moonlight reaching Earth:

1.25 seconds.

Enough time for a head shaking no. Or turning away indifferently. Not enough for a warm embrace. Let alone to hold someone from falling apart.

Perfect time for profane words, though.

You remember in momentary flashes that only last for the duration a smile is forming. Or a single teardrop rolling down the cheek. Or a laughter made of corn popping. Or a heart made of glass breaking to pieces.

I could list more things in the span of the speed of sunlight reaching earth: 8 minutes and 20 seconds. But, will you remember them?

Because you only remember glimpses at the speed of moonlight reaching Earth:

1.25 seconds.

Enough time for a single affectionate stroke at your back. Enough time to intertwine fingers with your beloved. Enough time for a thank you. Enough time for ‘I love you’.

Yet, you want eternity.

Or, at the very least, the speed of light from Andromeda reaching Earth, 2,54 million years, just to remember the glint of galaxy, in your mother’s eyes.

the days I love myself are few and far between for the world moves so fast that I am unable to notice when I have gained something precious when I have learned something new everyone I once loved has disappeared and nothing new has filled the emptiness All I have is yearning this bitter brittle feeling in my bones and no place to direct it

_ the days after a hurricane by Abby S

darling,    believe me when i say, for me there was no one else but you.                         but in this story,        this is the way it ends with history keeping us apart and calling it a tragedy.

darling we were so much more than what history made us | letters of a lost love.//t.c

but they're a hero, you know. the strong kind, the hold-up-the-sky kind, the too-good-for-this-world kind. they're a hero, and they don’t deserve this.  because they are kind, too-good-for-this-world kind, and i think that’s what makes them a hero. their heart is too big, and they carry it in their hands and i think it’s as heavy as the sky anyway and even if atlas was never a hero, they are.  and they're a hero, and they don't deserve this, but we all know how this story ends and even if you rip out the last page it doesn’t stop the story from ending.  they're a hero, they are, and one day it’s going to kill them. because their heart is too big, and they carry it in their hands, and no one can hold up the sky forever.

— heroes are only heroes until it takes its toll // p.s. (edit for @1-800-hellyeah)

I recently celebrated a birthday and it wasn't a truly happy one, but still better than some I have experienced in the past.

— Excerpt of another year of growing older, by Oliver J. Allen

winter morning by James Crews

Eeehahahahdughdhvishdkghskskrntjsjsgfj shakes him I like how this turned out. Tee hee funny Surge lore