#pls I'll be so anxious until it's all sorted out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kiefbowl · 2 years

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miss kief, since you're one of the most level-headed women on tumblr,, advice pls. today i found out everyone in my department is getting a raise - not a huge one, but still. i'm not. i've been working hard and it's such a disappointment. it seems they weren't even planning on sharing the news with me if i hadn't overheard. i genuinely thought we are on good terms. how do i handle this/speak to my boss w/o bursting into angry tears? i'm not good with confrontation 💀

so this question will get a two fold answer which is how to ask for the raise (because you should) and how to not be anxious about it (which I think is your bigger concern).

Part 1 Asking for a Raise strat - Yes, ask for the raise. The best best best way to do this is to go directly to your immediate manager face to face (or phone call if not possible), and say "it's my understanding [these people] are getting [x raise], and I share the same [job title/job roles], so I would also like to ask for [x raise]." You have now laid out your terms, explained why, and put the ball in their court. You are kicking off a negotiation, there isn't anything more you need to give them until they deliver or not. You don't have to answer them how you found out, who told you, how you know that, etc. If your manager or above asks how you know, you can just say "I just found out." A smart company would not badger you about it, because it basically confirms what you told them so it's bad negotiating, so if they do ask you can also say "So I'm correct, [these people] got [x raise]?" (small tip - asking questions is a great way to achieve "high ground" in a conversation/negotiation. Person A asks, person B responds with info, Person A now has the floor and is basically controlling the conversation.)

A smart and good manager will be not angry, and will not say anything more except "Okay I will discuss with [whoever they need to discuss with] and let you know." They should get back to you in 2 business days, and if they don't you can follow up and you can use email this time if you want. Don't go over your manager's head, only talk to your manager.

So now either 3 things will happen - they say yes, they counter, they say no or ignore you and string you along. If they said yes, boom you did it! Make sure you get a clear answer on the exact amount of the raise (dollars or percentage) and the date it starts (they could want to start it on the first day of the next pay period which is not insidious, and depending on how your company works that might mean you won't see it until your NEXT next pay check. get familiar with your pay stub! HR can help you out if you have questions)

if they counter, you don't have to accept it. You can counter too. You can either counter by playing ball by asking for something lower than what you first asked, or you can be firm on your original request. Same as the first time, lay out your terms and say nothing more until they come back to you (which might be right then and there in the same convo).

If they KEEP countering endlessly, say no, or never give you an answer, it's time to pull up your leverage. Your leverage in this situation is leaving. There are many slick ways to imply you will leave without straight saying it. Once when I was in almost this exact situation you described, my response when I was told no (which was not angry, but was super bullshit and with all sorts of corpo language), I took a beat and said (paraphrasing), "I know I have a skillset that is highly valuable in this industry" and left the room. in less than an hour I was called back in and told I got what I wanted. You don't have to be aggressive. I was furious but I was polite, direct, left the room to avoid confrontation. You also don't have to give a direct date you will leave unless you have that in your back pocket with a job offer you already have. It's essentially a "I'll remember this moment and I will dump your ass the second it benefits me, so watch out could be tomorrow we'll just wait and see" subtext.

Part 2 You want to cry - You know what, it's totally cool to cry at work. It's not solid negotiating fodder, but sometimes it is! You've worked hard, you feel slighted, overworked, and you're doing something brave and scary, so when you talk to your boss and your throat starts doing that closing up thing like so what, now your boss knows you are pretty upset by this.

Try to remember that even though your company does not make decisions with their employees' best interests in mind, they will make decisions for their employees' best interest if it also has their best interests in mind. It's also not always malicious. I think a lot of rhetoric goes around about how your work and job and boss do not care about you in a way that makes it sound like a shadow entity maliciously trying to hurt you. Sometimes it's just negligence and stupid behavior instead. Try not to take the decision to not give you a raise as a personal attack - in fact it might not be. It might be a complete oversight or maybe they did and forget to notify you. It sounds stupid but business only operates via people making decisions and doing things. Keep that knowledge in your back pocket when you start the convo - the best outcome is you ask your boss for a raise and they look at you funny and say "you got a raise, everyone did." If that happens, then the next thing would be to say "I wasn't under that impression" and have you and your boss talk to HR/Payroll and make sure everything is copacetic.

For more concrete strategy to try to approach this difficult conversation with less heighten feelings, even though you're going to use everyone else's raises as the reason to ask for the raise, pretend it's just you asking for a raise just because you value your work higher than they're paying for you. That's totally normal and people should be doing it often (but strategically), so have your "script" ready but in your head pretend you're having this conversation under completely different circumstances about uplifting yourself rather than the company overlooking you.

Okay, good luck! tell me how it goes :)

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brites · 7 years

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There's so much in your fab blog I'm a little lost. Do you have some Kiyoyachi fluff? If not next time you're feeling the ladies I'd die for Yachi stress snacking at university and sweating the freshman 15 but Kiyoko thinking she's cute and idk feeding her sugared strawberries or something tooth rotting like that. I'll keep looking until then and see if I've missed it somewhere! Thank you so much. Good luck with your studies too!

AN: I love love love this prompt! i’ll also hit you up with some chubby kiyoyachi fluff here and here, because i love my girls.

also i don’t think i’ve ever had sugared strawberries before but they look so good?? yes pls

Kiyoko knew she should say something – she just wasn’t sure what.

“Okay, so I have to write this essay for Linguistics… and then I have this project for Graphic Design that needs to be finished by the day after tomorrow. Or is it tomorrow? Oh man, I don’t know! I don’t remember!”

“It’s on your syllabus,” Kiyoko put in, remaining calm in an attempt to soothe her girlfriend. Hitoka’s hands did not stray from where they were tangled in her hair.

“Where’s my syllabus?”

“Oh the wall.”

Hitoka rounded towards the wall, nearly crashing into her desk as she did so. Her arms wavered, but she managed to right herself before she could topple over. Immediately, she focused the full force of her anxious attention on her assignment list.

“Oh, thank goodness,” she sighed, eyes fluttering shut in relief. “It’s not until Friday…”

More than used to her girlfriend’s stress-induced hysterics by now, Kiyoko was unfazed. “Have another strawberry,” she said, pushing the bowl forward.

Maybe it was Kiyoko’s fault. She would be the first to admit that she’d been spoiling Hitoka a lot ever since she entered college. It was just… so tempting to lavish attention on her girlfriend now that they lived on the same campus. They were so close to each other, after being separate for two years. Not to mention the fact that Hitoka needed the support. Ever since beginning college, her stress levels had gone through the roof.

Kiyoko wasn’t worried. Deep down, beneath Hitoka’s layers of anxiety, she knew her girlfriend had a core of steel. Hitoka would be able to handle the stress of college as soon as she got used to it.

In the meantime, Kiyoko would do what she could to help.

Hitoka sunk down onto the bed with a sigh, picking up a strawberry and popping it into her mouth. She made a tiny contented noise as the sweet flavors hit her tongue, and Kiyoko felt a smile pull at the corners of her lips.

Hitoka’s shirt, she noticed, was the slightest bit too small for her. It hugged her sides, accentuating every curve of her body -- and newfound ripple. As soon as Kiyoko’s eyes caught the rolls of chub bunching the shirt up at Yachi’s sides, she couldn’t tear her eyes away.

Okay, so maybe her efforts to pamper her girlfriend had been having unexpected effects. It wasn’t completely her fault. Hitoka was a stress eater to begin with, and now that she was under so much more stress it seemed like she was always snacking on something. She had always been sort of plump; but since coming to college, the freshman fifteen had hit her hard. When she had changed earlier, Kiyoko noticed that her belly now stuck out over the waist of her underwear, and her leggings were clearly a size too small to hide it.

“Oh -- you noticed?”

Kiyoko jolted back to attention to find her girlfriend staring at her. It was all she could do to keep her face from flushing, even as Hitoka’s own cheeks flared red.

“I know, I know -- I’ve gotten kind of fat, huh? A lot of my clothes are starting to get tight on me. I really should stop snacking so much...” She eyed the half of a strawberry in her hand guiltily, and Kiyoko felt her heart seize up. She wasn’t trying to make Hitoka feel bad at all! Her girlfriend had nothing to feel bad about -- she was gorgeous.

“No! That isn’t what I meant,” she hastened to say, placing a hand on Hitoka’s shoulder. The girl turned towards her, eyes wide; Kiyoko took the opportunity to capture her lips with her own.

The kiss lingered for several long seconds. As Kiyoko’s hands caressed her girlfriend’s boy, she tried to memorize every curve. She loved all of it -- every inch, every stretch mark and bit of chub. She was adorable; but more than that, she was beautiful.

“I love you,” she breathed when they finally parted, her lips still centimeters away from Hitoka’s own. “All of you. I love your body the way it is now, and I don’t want you to feel like you need to change for anyone except yourself.”

Hitoka’s cheeks were colored with a faint blush; she always got bashful whenever Kiyoko was affectionate. But now there was adoration shining in her eyes, and Kiyoko wanted nothing more than to kiss her again.

“I love you too,” she whispered, pressing her forehead to Kiyoko’s own. “Thank you for helping me. I’m... sure I’ll get myself together in another few weeks, but in the meantime... will you please keep taking care of me?”

Kiyoko smiled, reaching for the bowl of strawberries. When she raised it to Hitoka’s lips, her girlfriend accepted it as eagerly as the kiss. “Hitoka,” she said, “I’ll always take care of you.”

#Anonymous #weight gain #chubby #chub #wg #yachi hitoka #IT GOT FLUFFY AT THE END

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