#please they were so happy to kiss eachother they couldn’t stop i’m fucking sobbing
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jodie comer and sandra oh gave us one of the best onscreen kisses ever
#please they were so happy to kiss eachother they couldn’t stop i’m fucking sobbing#villanelle kissing her cheek#they just can’t help themselves#killing eve spoilers#killing eve#jodie comer#sandra oh#eve polastri#villanelle#villaneve#lgbt#lgbtq#queer#gay#bisexual#lesbian#women#ke#ke spoilers#killing eve s4
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Always Mine-John Shelby x Reader
(GIF credit to @tommyshhelby)
Requested by anonymous: ‘Can you please do a imagine where y/n and John were childhood sweethearts (no Martha) and she has known the peaky blinders her whole life and they love her too but then John has to marry esme and even though tommy does feel bad he does it anyway.Y/n works in the betting house so they see eachother every day she acts like it doesn’t bother her but is obviously a bit distant with John who is still inlove with her but she is respectful of the marriage so when Michael comes in he has a crush on y/n and kinda flirts with her and John gets jealous not sure if it’s a John or Micheal imagine your choice’
Characters: John Shelby x Reader, Thomas Shelby x Reader (platonic), Michael Gray x Reader (platonic), Polly Gray x Reader (platonic)
Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name (Y/L/N)=Your last name
Warnings: Heartbreak, swearing, mentions/intentions of sex, arguing, violence, slight fluff
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Heartbreak, many people went through it, many people wanted to avoid it. Although your heart wasn’t physically damaged, it felt like it was. Humans often forget how strong their emotions are. Emotions are part of our survival, they determine how we live, it controls our day, what decisions we make. Unfortunately to live, we had to experience sadness. You could turn it around and say that the bad times made the good times stronger, more enjoyable. But it’s hard to think positively when you’re stuck in a terrible situation.
“He....He’s getting married?” I whispered out, clutching onto my dressing gown as the cold air blew into the house.
Tommy was stood outside, I had invited him inside, but I was glad I hadn’t now.“Today/ I’m sorry (Y/N), it has to be done.”
“Why? Why wouldn’t he tell me?”
“John doesn’t know. And you can’t tell him.”
“Why are you telling me this? I could easily run to him now and tell him.”
“If you do that, you’ll put us all in danger.”
I was growing more angry by the second.“Aren’t you always in danger?”
“This is different. It will benefit the whole family, the Peaky Blinders. He has to do this (Y/N).”
I shook my head at him, crossing my arms over my chest. What with it being so early in the morning, no one else was out in the street, it was slightly dark, with a low fog roaming the streets.“You know I love him. You know how we feel about each other. I’m just confused. Why would you tell me this before they get married? I could go tell him, we could run away together like we said we would since we were fifteen.”
“Because I love you (Y/N). You’re basically family. It felt wrong not to. But I can’t lose you at work either. You need to stay.”
I scoffed.“I can’t believe this! You really think I’m going to stay and see the man I love everyday with a wedding ring on his finger? I can write up my resignation now if you want-”
“(Y/N)-”
“Honestly Tommy, this is taking the piss. You get away with a lot of shit, but this is just fantastic-”
“(Y/N)!”
“Wait here, I’ll get a pen and some paper-”
“(Y/N) would you just listen for a second!?” he yelled, silencing me.“You would be as equally angry with me if I told you after. Just be happy that I mentioned it at all.”
That had been the longest day of my life. Knowing that my worst fear had come true, the man I loved was marrying someone else, made time move at an incredibly slow pace. Part of me pondered crashing the wedding, if I knew where it was or who he was marrying, but I knew that Tommy was partly right. He had a huge responsibility to keep control of his power, but the way he manipulated his family infuriated me.
“John, are you sure you want to marry me?” I said to him as we laid down in a field.
“You’re really asking that after what we just did?” he asked, doing up his trousers.
“Well, Susanne and Jack do the same as us, and he hasn’t asked her.” my (not so) innocent seventeen year old self pointed out.
“Believe me, I would not be suggesting that sort of thing if I didn’t mean it.”
“So you don’t ask every girl you fuck to marry you?” I teased.
He leaned over me.“I haven’t slept with that many.”
I rolled my eyes.“I don’t care how many girls you fucked before me. As long as I’m the one who gets this sort of treatment for the rest of your life, I’m happy.”
He smirked, kissing me.“You’ve been the best out of all of them.”
“Because I do anything you want.”
He leaned down to my ear, whispering,“Because you feel fucking amazing.”
I blushed, wishing I was able to tease him more.“I’m serious John, that’s a serious commitment.”
Although we were being flirty, I knew when he was being truthful.“(Y/N), I don’t want anything else. I want you beside me. My family loves you, you’re already a Shelby in their eyes, and mine. I know they say we’re young, but these feelings I have for you re strong. I wake up thinking about you, I see other women and think, my (Y/N) is so much prettier than you. And yes, thinking about you writhing and moaning beneath me is pleasurable,” I playfully punched his shoulder, which he laughed at,“but imagining you at home with the kids, waiting for me to come back and embracing me as soon as I step foot in our house, that’s all I could ever ask for in life.”
I sobbed as I thought about that memory. We were so happy back then. We were carefree, easily daydreaming about what could have been. Then harsh reality hit us in the face. He was being forced into an arrangement with some wild gypsy girl. We were supposed to be married, I was the one whose last name should have been Shelby.
I didn’t want to hear about the wedding day. I knew that Pol, Ada or any other woman in that betting shop wouldn’t mention it in front of me.Though how was I ever to stop thinking about how the man I loved was married to someone else when I worked with him? And his new wife? Esme also had no say in this, she had been unruly and apparently the only way to sort that was to marry her off. But why did she have to work here too? She hated it here, she could never sit still. It was in her nature to be outside all the time, to run free and wildly along with the horses. Not cramped up in a betting shop counting money, surrounded by the lowest of men. Having to sit across from her as I worked was torture, seeing the wedding band made my stomach turn.
"(Y/N)?" John called me, standing in the doorway of his office.
I caught Esme glancing towards me, though I didn't care. It wasn't as if anything was about to happen, John hadn't even spoken to me since they married, not properly anyway. I had been civil towards his wife, but only speaking to her when I absolutely had to. Quietly sighing, I closed the book I had been writing in, picking up a smaller notebook and pen before entering his office. Some workers were peeking at us, they knew the drama, and it didn't help that his office was basically made of windows, meaning everyone could see us.
"You can sit down, you know you can." John gestured to the chair across from his desk, though he didn't sit.
I said nothing back.He groaned.
"Come on (Y/N), you know I hated when you gave me the silent treatment."
"Is there something you needed from me Mr Shelby?"
"You know, that only sounded nice coming from you when we were in a different environment." he smirked, thinking I would break. He was absolutely wrong.
"I have a lot of work to be getting on with-"
"I don't love her."
My eyes widened, and I kept my voice low."For fucks sake John, we shouldn't be talking about this here."
"You know I don't!" he stood in front of me, but I quickly backed away, not wanting to draw attention to ourselves."She's some random gypsy Tommy picked up on the side of the road. Esme isn't you."
"And yet you're stuck with her. So let bygones be bygones. Did you actually need me?"
"I always need you, and I will always want you."
"Right, thank you for wasting my time sir."
I promptly left, feeling my throat get tight as I pushed back my tears. If I spoke another word, my voice would crack, giving away how I truly felt. Instead of returning to where I was originally sat, I headed to the kitchen, not wanting to see Esme. It was obvious her gaze was on me as I brushed past, though I took no notice. Once there, I made myself busy filling the kettle with water and beginning to make tea, just to distract myself. As it boiled, I gripped onto the edge of the counter, painfully holding back my sobs. I couldn’t do this for the rest of my life, it was emotionally exhausting, it was torturous.
“You can’t keep up this act forever.” Polly appeared.
I didn’t bother facing her.“I know. I already told Tom I would hand him my resignation letter, he refused.”
“No, we can’t lose you, even if we had enough staff. I want you to know that I had nothing to do with that. You know what Tommy is like with his ‘big ideas’.”
I finally looked at her.“My worst fear came true. He’s with someone else. He’s married, but not to me. It’s been in our heads for so long, it was all too good to be true.”
Before Polly could speak, I saw her glance behind me. Turning around, I saw Esme standing in the doorway, her usual scowl on her face as she grabbed a mug from a cupboard.
“I’m assuming you brewed a full pot?” she asked.
“Yes.” I replied.
She put her mug beside mine, making sure it thudded against the counter. When she left, I ran my hands down my face, seriously considering walking out. Polly decided to not add anything. We would just go in circles, trying to cheer me up, reassure me, convince me to stay etc.
Managing to get through the rest of the day, I sighed in relief and tiredness as everyone started to pack their things. Putting on my coat, I smiled at one my colleagues who was approaching me.
“John has asked for you.” they warily said.
I rolled my eyes.“Did he say what he wants?”
He shook his head.“Sorry, wants you in there soon as.”
I thanked him as he left, along with everyone else. Esme held back, obviously glaring at me. She disappeared into John’s office for less than a minute before walking out again, leaving without her husband. I watched the door shut, leaving just John and I. My stomach twisted, heart beating incredibly loudly in my ears as I took my first few steps to his office. I stood in the doorway, hating that he was already looking at me, I was incredibly nervous.
He stood from his chair.“(Y/N)-”
“Please tell me this is about work.”
“I need to speak to you.”
“John, I can’t do this. We’re finished now-”
I started to walk away, not surprised when he followed, but shocked when he grabbed me, turning me around to face him.
“I know you feel the same as me. I can’t fucking stand it! I don’t want to be married to her. I don’t want to fuck her in our bed. I’ve only ever imagined coming home to see you there, not her!”
“Well that won’t happen now, will it?!” I snapped back, trying to make him let go of my arms.
As I struggled, John was able to keep a grasp on me.“It can! We’ll figure out a way! But I need to kiss you. I need to be able to hold you in my arms, to really feel you. I want to keep planning our future together.”
“Tommy has made his decision, and with this family, anything he says goes! You really think we could change any of this? Even if we did, imagine the trouble you would all be in.”
“I don’t care. I would take ten bullets to the chest if it meant being with you.”
“You can’t be saying things like that.”
His eyes were crazy, staring into my soul, fingers pressing into my skin. I felt him pull me closer, it was ever so slow, and I could have stopped it. But I didn’t. We cautiously leaned in for a kiss, making memories and feelings flood back. His hands relaxed, moving up to cup my face. The passion didn’t last long, because before I knew it, I was being pushed back against a desk, clumsily lying on my back. John wasted no time to touch my breasts, continuing to kiss me as it slid down my body, disappearing up my skirt. Although it was extremely tempting to carry on, the weighing guilt made me stop him.
“John.” I breathed out, giving him the wrong idea as he kept going, sucking on my neck. I pushed against him.“John, stop.”
He pulled away.“What? What’s wrong?” he went straight back down to my neck, trying to unbutton my blouse.
“Stop!” I said a little louder, managing to sit up and push him away.
“(Y/N), I know it’s been a while but-”
“It’s not that, you idiot! You’re married!”
“To a woman I don’t love!”
I let out a frustrated scream, buttoning up my blouse again as I stood.“I’m not going to be that woman sleeping with married men, I’m not a whore!”
“Why are you denying your feelings? We were supposed to get married.”
“We were kids back then.”
He pointed an accusing finger at me.“I said that to you every year, we were always waiting for the right time!”
“Life doesn’t always work out John!” I yelled.“This is just as agonising to me as it is to you! But if we ruin this, the Lee’s are going to come for you all, and there’s already enough on your plates to deal with them.”
“I don’t give a fuck about them-”
“But I give a fuck about you living!” I snatched up my coat and handbag, pushing past him towards the door. With my hand on the handle, I calmed down before speaking again.“Obviously we weren’t meant to be. Though at least we didn’t take our time together for granted. Don’t try any of that again John, I mean it.”
For the next week, I didn’t utter a word to John, I didn’t even glance in his direction. I considered sending in my resignation. But after thinking about it, I knew I couldn’t bring myself to do it. These people were my family, I grew up in this business. If I left, I had a slim chance of finding a normal job, because everyone knew who I was associated with. Why would anyone risk taking on someone who was involved with the Peaky Blinders? I was paid more than I should have been for my position, and they trusted me with anything; it would be stupid of me to throw that away and lose everything I worked so hard for.
Surprisingly, Esme hadn’t piped up towards me in that time. I thought she might say something, even if she wasn’t triggered, due to her fiery personality. However, John had been relentless with his attempts to make me speak to him, even trying to trap me in the vault with him. I couldn’t break, I couldn’t let him get to me again. As much as my heart ached for him, as much as I wanted him to grab my face and kiss me again, I would never break a marriage. The guilt that would live with me fr the rest of my life was too much to bear.
At the beginning of another day, I had just breezed into the shop when Lizzie approached me.“(Y/N), Tommy wants to see you.”
I sighed.“Did he say why?”
She shook her head.“You know what he’s like. But he’s asking for you now.”
I didn’t bother taking off my coat or setting my bag down, following Lizzie to his office. She knocked before opening the door, letting me walk in before closing it behind me, and I was left with Tommy, who was hunched over his desk as he looked through papers; however, there was also another man, a younger man.
“Come in (Y/N), let me introduce you to someone.” Tommy stood, setting the papers aside.
My steps were slower than they usually would be as I analysed the stranger. He looked younger than me, but not by that many years. His hat was in his hands, and although he wore a suit, it wasn’t like the ones the Shelby boys wore. His hair was slightly curly, not slicked back or short like most men around Small Heath, and he seemed shy, maybe more reclusive.
“I’m Michael.” he offered his hand out which I shook.
“I’m (Y/N).” I politely smiled.
“(Y/N) is basically family and has worked with us from the beginning.” Tommy explained.“This boy here, (Y/N), is Polly’s son.”
My eyes widened at Tommy as I let go of Michael’s hand.“Wait, you mean...the children she was always talking about...?”
“I’ve come back to find out about my real family. And to start working here too.” Michael added.
“So I need you to keep a close eye on him, help him with whatever he needs. (Y/N) knows the ins and outs of this place, she’ll teach you everything you need to know.”
For the rest of the day, Michael shadowed one of the workers that dealt with the winnings, counting money and figuring out how to run the shop floor. I would occasionally pop up when I thought he needed someone kinder and quiet to help, or just to check on him. He was sweet, but that wouldn’t help him in this environment. Luckily, Michael made it hard for John to bother me, he didn’t have the usual opportunities to bombard me with questions about why I didn’t want to fight for what we had. My shift finished quickly, it seemed like I had only been there an hour and we were already leaving.
“Come on Michael, let me take you for a drink. You deserve it after today.” I offered as we walked out of the shop.
He was hesitant before smiling.“Alright then. Where should we go?”
“We’ll go to the Garrison, your cousins are basically royalty there, meaning we are too. And don’t worry about your mum, she would rather you be with me than with the boys.”
Happily greeting Harry as we walked into the pub, he nudged the other bartender to get my usual drink. After asking Michael what he wanted, I called it out to Harry before disappearing into the private room.
“We’re allowed in here?” Michael asked.
“Yeah, don’t worry. Like Tommy said, I’m family.” the window opened, a bartender passing us our drinks.“So, how did you end up in a place like this?”
We indulged in a conversation about Michael’s life growing up. It wasn’t a good upbringing, he had been through a lot of hardships as a child, and now being thrown into a completely different life was only adding to the confusion he had growing up, but he wanted to be independent. Get away from the boring country and work in an interesting job.
Michael glanced down at his drink, seeming hesitant to speak.“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but is there something between you and John? I thought he was married to Esme.”
I scoffed.“He is. Seems to keep forgetting that.”
“Sorry, I shouldn't have asked-”
“It’s fine. You’re family, you should know what’s going on. We...wow, I’ve never actually spoken about this. John and I developed feelings for each other as we grew up, we became a couple. We always said we would get married, anyone could see we were deeply in love. However, Tommy arranged a marriage between John and Esme, it was to form a truce between the Shelby’s and the Lee family, Esme’s family.”
“That’s horrible. Tommy still did that even though he knew you two were together?”
“Yep.” I downed the rest of my drink.“Welcome to the family business.”
“I understand the need for a truce but...”
“I know what you’re thinking. Although it was heartbreaking, I know nothing can be done about it. And I am not a home wrecker!”
He was shocked by my snappy tone.“I-I didn’t say you were.”
“I know, force of habit.”
The door opened, the Shelby brothers walking in, and only three of them smiled at us, it was obvious who didn’t. They greeted us as they sat, the window opening instantly with their drinks on the tray. Michael and I were still tense from our talk, though tried not to show it as Arthur began rambling on about something stupid Finn had done that day. I tried my hardest to listen, though it was hard to when I could feel John’s eyes on me, and he was angry. Everyone else could tell as well, but they didn’t want to deal with John’s attitude right now. After Arthur finished his story, I excused myself to the ladies room, needing to relax. Unfortunately, I couldn’t even go to the loo without any disruption.
“Why the fuck are you here with him?” John demanded to know as he followed me in.
“John! You can’t be in here!” I snapped.
“There’s no other women here yet! Answer me.”
“He’s a new colleague, someone Tommy told me to look after today. Not to mention he’s your cousin. I was being nice to him.”
“You say you still love me yet here you are with another man.” the rage in his eyes was growing more intense by the second.
“Oh for fucks sake John.” I rolled my eyes.“Why on Earth why I be so stupid to move on with another Shelby?”
“The fuck are you saying?”
“I’ve been battling with myself whether to leave this job because of you! It was terrible enough to be in the same room as you and your wife, but trying to avoid you all day is exhausting. You have to stop trying to make us work.”
His breathing was getting faster, and he hastily grabbed my hands.“But why can’t we just hide it? Maybe after a while I’ll be able to divorce her.”
“I can’t sit around and wait for you! I’ll always love you John, but you can’t expect me to not go on living my life whilst I wait for something that may never happen. And you’re telling me that in that time, you won’t have sex with her, you won’t give her the children she wants? Because I’m not fucking you behind her back.”
He groaned, pulling away from me and turning around, suddenly hitting a stall door, causing me to flinch at the movement and sound. Instinctively, I started backing away, scared that he might flip and accidentally hurt me in his rage.
“It’s not fucking fair!” he yelled.
“John, calm down!” I said, trying not to shout back, needing him to be calm.
“Why was I the one that had to get married?! Why wasn’t it Arthur or even Finn? They know we’re in love! I wanted you to be my fucking wife! And now you’re not even fighting for us!”
I scowled at him, screaming just as loud at him now.“How dare you?! John, there is nothing to fight for anymore! Yes, we still love each other, and I would give anything to be with you again! I would kill for you, you know that. But we need to move on from this. I’m staying at work for now, just until I’ve got enough to move somewhere else, and then I’m gone. I’m not staying where I got my heart broken.”
“You can’t leave.”
“I will. This feels like someone is punishing me for something terrible that I’ve done, but for the life of me I can not think what that could be. I’m done with this John. I don’t want to wake up every morning dreading to go to the shop, being distracted from my work because I’m dreading that you’ll corner me and we’ll get caught doing something we shouldn’t be. I feel like I’ve aged since the day you married, just from the stress.”
“(Y/N), please, just give it more time, we can work something out-”
“No! John just shut the fuck up and listen to what I’m saying! Leave me alone, leave what we had in the past. You’re married now, and I don’t want to have an affair, not just because of the Lee’s but because of the moral of it all. I...I just need to go home.”
“You’re not leaving-”
He grabbed my arm forcefully, and in defence I slapped him around the face. He recoiled his hand as he went into shock, giving me a chance to escape. However, he kept calling my name as I rushed off, seeing the boys standing at the bar, obviously having heard everything. I pushed past them, bursting into the private room to grab my things before leaving the pub. The others were also telling me to come back, wondering what was wrong.
“Don’t follow me! Leave me alone!” I screeched before turning away from them.
I felt light headed as I stormed home. There was so much to take in, too much had been said in such a short amount of time. Though I knew I had spoken my truth, even if it was the hardest thing I had ever admitted. John and I couldn’t be. Perhaps it was never meant to happen, and we needed to grow up, move on from our childhood dreams of us being together. I couldn’t dwell on it, I was right when I said I couldn’t put my life on pause to wait for him, which I knew would never happen. Until I knew what I could do to move on and away from everyone, I hoped that our argument had sent a message to John, and I wouldn’t have to suffer as much as I had been. Not for much longer, I am going to be happy.
#john shelby#john shelby imagine#john shelby imagines#john shelby one shot#john shelby x reader#peaky blinders#peaky blinders bbc#bbc peaky blinders#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders imagines#peaky blinders one shot#peaky blinders x reader#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders fan fic#peaky blinders fanfiction#peaky blinders fan fiction
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hello stranger | reader x changbin |
a/n: I sincerely apologize for the pain caused with last chapter...so naturally, i had to go and write more pain muahaha. i also apologize for the wait on this one, for some reason i had a weirdly hard time getting this one out of my head, ahhh i think I’m just lil sad about it all ending :( but! we’re almost out of the woods cuties!! thank you so very much reading as always!! <3 this is the second to last chapter and idk how to feel ahhhh
Part 7
Pairing: self insert, female reader x seo changbin, female reader x han jisung
Genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst
Tags: (of this part) college au, rapper!changbin, rapper!jisung, establishedfwb!jisung, artist!reader, skz side characters, bestfriend!chan, bestfriend!felix, roommate!minho, explicit language, some kissin’ and that good, good makin’ out, soft n’ intimate body touchinggg, mentions of getting drunk in the past, mentions of a toxic familial relationship, gahhh lots of crying and emotions in this one but it’s bc we’re figuring things out :)
CW: dub-con-ish scene due to conflicting feelings but it gets stopped pretty quick
Word count: 7.6k
Chapters
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART ?
Jisung shared his apartment with two equally messy boys. You had forgotten their names despite meeting them and seeing them around on more than one occasion. Lucky for you, they each had distinguishing features so you named them as such: tall one and younger one with white hair. Once upon a time the four of you had hung out and they weren’t unbearable, just a bit cookie-cutter as you had called it. Both of them were in the same music school as Jisung and didn’t have many other interests outside going to music shows and playing PC games while loudly shouting.
There was never food in that apartment but somehow there was always dirty dishes in the kitchen. Sure, it smelled a bit like dirty socks, but you never paid too much attention to that when you would clambering in the door with your lips locked with Jisung’s. It was strange walking in not doing so. Tall one and younger one with the white hair sat on the couch eating pizza with feet kicked up on their banged up coffee table. They didn’t say anything as they watched you walk in, but merely rolled their eyes and pretended that you weren’t there anymore.
“We can go to my room.” Jisung raked his hand through his greasy brown strands, then kicked aside approximately ten pairs of sneakers. He held onto your hand tightly--so tightly that his knuckles turned white.
You nearly slipped on that rug that lined the wooden floors of their hallway. It wasn’t the first time.
Just as the rest of the apartment was, Jisung’s room was strewn with all kinds of random articles such as dirty clothes, tangled up cords and old to-go containers. His bed was unmade; it was those navy sheets that likely hadn’t been washed in several weeks. You could never really pinpoint what they smelled like, just that they smelled like him. You had spent nights there too, but they were nothing memorable. No groggy mornings with coffee or sunlight streaked onto his features for you to admire in the golden sheen. It had been running late to class and the dozens of times that you had left jewelry and hair-ties.
“Wanna sit down?” Jisung patted the spot next to him, and you did so.
The two of you sat in silence, the atmosphere became thick with the tangible sense of disaster that hung around the both of you. It was catastrophic.
His trembling hand came reaching for yours, and you let him take it. He sniffled, and it triggered your eyes to fill with the same hot tears.
For the first time, you wondered, what am I doing here?
“You want to lay down?” His puffy eyes asked you.
You nodded, crinkling those bedsheets that were probably full of dust.
In all your months of knowing him, you had never, never cuddled. This was the first time and you really weren’t even tied together anymore.
His nose had turned pink, and he rubbed a bit of snot away with his wrist.
“Thank you for coming here.” Jisung whispered. “But--what are you doing here? I thought that you were with Changbin now?”
I am. You thought briefly. Am I?
“I just...so confused right now. I don’t know...there’s just...I don’t know...”
A tear fell down Jisung’s cheek, and you couldn’t fathom why he would be the one crying when it should’ve been you. You wiped it away. You had never thought of it before, but seeing him cry brought a sting to your chest.
Jisung leaned forward, and the bed creaked lightly, then he kissed you. It wasn’t really a passionate one, but one that he had used to say more than he could himself. His lips tasted salty running over yours, and your brain froze deciding what to do. Jisung never changed: as broken as it felt, he was still starving, needy, and rough. You tried to find meaning in it, or if it made you feel.
It didn’t.
Jisung held your face in his hands, and with a hesitant sigh, he said, “I really, really wanted to do that for so long.”
As desperate he had seemed for you, you couldn’t find the same desire if you had tried. Maybe, you had to find it?
“Kiss me again.” You hushed.
He licked his lips with a gaze softening. “Okay.”
This time he swung his legs around your hips and straddled you with the kind of pressure that you had craved, once upon a time. He bent down to press even more of his heated desire on your skin. He was a good kisser, and you remembered once again how you really had wanted to have him kiss you like this, once upon a time. His tongue slicked against your bottom lip and you gave him the permission, testing it out just to see.
You had thought back then that he was unreal.
Jisung rutted his hips down into your waist, and you had already felt how he had hardened in his sweatpants.
You knew how it would go...or how it used to.
“Baby, I want you so bad. You have no idea. I-I don’t think that I want anyone else besides you--” He broke to meet your eyes. Your world blurred, and sobbed out from under his gaze.
What am I doing here?
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Worry flooded over his face.
“I-I can’t do this, I shouldn’t do this, fuck--what the fuck am I doing?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Please just...get off of me. Please...”
He did so, but still looked just as shocked. “Did I do something wrong?”
He too started to tear up again. At last you could finally name what it was that tugged at his soft brown eyes. Fear.
“Can you please tell me what I did wrong? Y/n, I don’t understand, you’re confusing me so much--”
“--This isn’t right Jisung!” You nearly yelled with broken sobs. “We aren’t right.”
Jisung’s face fell, crestfallen. “N-no--”
“--We destroy each other!! Don’t you see?? Never have we ever been happy together, we’re just...coping! That isn’t love!!”
“Then why the hell am I in love with you??” Jisung spat out the words, and then it was immediately evident that he had regretted saying them.
A deadly silence fell over the room, and all that was left was the both of your weak sniffles.
“What did you just say?”
Jisung grabbed one the pillows then threw it down on the floor with a poof.
“Fuck!!!” He literally shouted. His face had turned red, and snot dripped down to his lip. “I have fucking feelings for you okay?? Is that enough for you?”
“Ji...yo-you can’t--”
“I can’t what?! Is it a fucking crime? Listen, I’m scared out of my fucking mind saying this to you, alright? I don’t know why the hell I am but--”
“--We-we can’t, Jisung..”
“Can’t what?!” He threw his hands up into he air in his exasperation. “Stop fucking confusing me!!”
“We destroy eachother.”
Jisung grabbed another pillow to pummel to the ground, but then stopped himself, digging his fingers into the fabric until his nailbeds turned white.
“We hurt eachother too much. An-and...I don’t think that it’s really our fault either. It’s just...who we are. I can’t give you what you want and you can’t give me what I want.”
Jisung sobbed out horribly, then buried his face in his hands.
“But I fell in love with you...?” His voice was terribly cracked.
You watched as tears dropped into your lap and made little wet dots on your jeans. “I fell in love with Changbin...”
His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, but still glistened, like the way that oil would slick in rainbows with the snow.
“Then what are you doing here?” He asked one more time, but now he had appeared to be utterly broken.
You rose from the bed, looking down at him and drying your face. “I...think I know why.”
“And?”
Outside of Jisung’s window, the view was similar to your own: city lights in an array of colors; each of them like stars on the ocean. On the wall adjacent from his bed, you noticed there was a crack. You had never realized that it was there before.
“I’m admitting something that I should’ve a long time ago.”
╚ ——————————————— ╝
You had likely forgotten to close a window in your apartment somewhere because the winter cold had pervaded the whole space. It took you about ten minutes to realize that it was in your bathroom from when you had taken a shower earlier to air let out the steam.
The second thing that you noticed was the crumpled up blanket resting on the couch from before. For some odd reason, you felt the strong desire to wrap it all around yourself like you could capture some essence of him in it. Sure enough it did smell like that scent of his that you had grown so used to. You let the blanket trail behind you has you made your way to your room to pull on one of his shirts over your head.
“Who told you that you could look so cute in that?” He had said one time.
[23:16] Bin
me: can i call you?
[00:18] Bin
me: if you’re asleep, can I call you in the morning? if that’s okay? i said things that I didn’t mean...i just didn’t know it then.
i’m so sorry
how i treated you...you didn’t deserve that
i understand if you’re mad at me. you have every right.
i’m sorry that i couldn’t see that things that you were trying to show me.
i see them now.
You had thought that now the snow had finally faded into the edge of the winter that near it’s conclusion. Early March, and you wanting nothing more for spring buds to peep from the snow capped floral beds on street corners and for the white hugging the trees to dissapear forever. The winter had felt as if it had lasted for a year--even though this year you had seen less snow than other years.
There had been a time when you firmly believed that once the snow melted, it would get better. Snow was a bitter memory, and it was curse that had to happen each and every year.
The night that you had met Changbin, it had been cold. Cold like the winter that you had tried to hide from. You hadn’t thought of it until now, but he was much like the way that snowflakes melted on your skin. It reminded you of the icy coldness of the world for fleeting moments, then faded just as quickly as it arrived. The little wet mark of him warmed on your skin.
Outside of the miniscule window to your living room, snowflakes got caught up in the edges of the frame, and sprinkled the surface of the glass in their variety of gorgeous fractals and unique shapes. A full moon was painted into the sky with a brightness that could’ve paralleled the sun on this clear night swimming in deep azure.
You hugged the fabric of one of his shirts even closer to your frame, pretending for a moment that it was him that had been hugging you and not the cotton.
“I’m so sorry.” You cried out weakly to the empty room.
Your phone screen flashed with the time: [00:42]. You wondered, maybe he really had given up like he said that he would’ve. Maybe he walked home in the shivering cold, hands shoved into his pockets and decided that he was done waiting; that you weren’t worth his time and the effort. Maybe he walked in his front door, closed it behind himself, and said the words, This is it. No more. Maybe he walked into his room and cried. Maybe he didn’t. You couldn’t decide if you had wanted him to cry for you or not. Both hurt.
[01:13.]
Your eyes dragged with sleep, but your mind moved faster than the pace of your dry eyelids. Dust had settled on the white sheet that you had drawn over the painting in your room. On the underside of the sheet, globs of acrylic had dried and turned into multicolored flecks: a bit like the sheet was a piece of art and and of itself. It was nearly finished, and only had about one more quadrant left that was void of color.
Your wooden pallet had been resting by the window, so it was cold to the touch--as were the little aluminum bottles of paint resting beside it. You used your shirtsleeve to dry away one tear that had battled its way to your lid, then sat back on your desk chair, facing the easel head on.
Black first. Then deep blue, then bright yellow, burnt orange and gold.
Hairs brushed over the canvas, and swept in wide strokes back and forth. With an empty mind, you smeared over the dark colors that faded to the edge of the canvas into the glowing light of the edge of the alleyway painted here. His figure was prominent, even though you couldn’t see his face. He wore black clothes that were simple. Frankly, you didn’t really remember what he had worn that night, but it didn’t matter much. Neon blue and red restaurant signs met on as reflection on his dark black hair.
It was as if your chest and hand had been weighted down even further, but you fought through it to raise them. While you let the tears fall at first, they dried after long and made the skin of your cheeks tout. The room was silent, and so it was outside with the drifting snow. Soon, the painting would be finished, and you could sleep. You couldn’t sleep until then.
if your art didn’t mean anything, what even was it?
The pink lights lining your room provided the only light to the room, however not much else was needed than that.
You bit your lip, now mixing yellow with red.
If you couldn’t tell him. You hoped with every fiber that this would.
[04:51] Bin
me: if you’re up to it, can we talk? or, i can call you?
goodnight
wait its morning
good morning then.
╚ ——————————————— ╝
Chan was good at keeping his promises. There was not one time in your whole time in knowing him that he hadn’t kept a promise, no matter how absurd it might’ve been. He had promised you to buy you ice cream on the first day of snow, and he had promised to share his lyrics with you, no matter how much they would make him cringe. He promised that if you ever needed someone to watch your guilty pleasure reality shows with, he would be over as soon as he could. Next to Felix, you had figured a long time ago that if there were ever people in your life that you were destined to meet, he was one of them. Admittedly, there had been a time when you had harbored a crush on him, but as usual, you had been best at getting in your own way before anything could’ve happened. This, and you loved him as a friend too much.
Too many jell-o shots were both of your enemies. Halfway into the driest seven minutes in heaven of your life, and halfway into your confession to him, he had passed out right in your arms. You were lucky that he had forgotten the event entirely. Or, he was keeping his promise that you had hurriedly made asking him to forget that it ever happened when you and Felix carted him out of there.
While he was good at keeping promises, you more so wished that he had forgotten that one.
Chan had promised that he would personally use his ID card to get into the soundproof booth in the music department to scream.
You hadn’t ever taken him up on the offer until today.
It was nearly midnight and unopened text messages still sat in in empty bubbles on your phone screen.
Even though you had consistently texted “good morning” and “goodnight” for three days straight, the action of sending them didn’t make you feel any better.
Chan didn’t ask any questions, but merely let you through the halls which echoed from your squeaking wet shoes. The green light of emergency signs appeared to be the only guiding lights, but Chan knew the way well.
“Careful. The floor is slippery. They mop after everyone leaves.” He hushed in the silent hallway.
Your fingers and lips cracked from the cold and felt tingly warming up in the dry heat of the building. The two of you turned two more corners, then Chan carefully wrapped his veiny and red hand over the handle to the door marked with “Studio Five.” He tapped his key to the reader, and it beeped with flashing green and orange lights.
“Here. This is the entrance to the booth. I’ll enter from that door to get to the other side of the glass. You don’t...want me to go in with you?”
“Want me to wreck your ears?” You have him a feeble smile.
He mustered his own kind of strength that he had been keeping up just for you. “Hm. You’re right.” Your friend clicked on the light, and it burned your eyes at first compared to the black hall. “Take...all the time that you need, I’ll just be over there. If you wanna...talk about things, I’m here for that too.”
The booth was an ugly shade of lime green, and you wondered how anyone could ever be creative in a place such as this. On the other side of the tinted glass, you watched as Chan flicked on the light, then made his way to push the button to the little intercom system. His voice buzzed with a tinny sound.
“No one can hear you, so....go nuts.”
The walls were too padded with black foam insulation, and for a moment you considered how strange it was, that you, had entered that place to scream--not make music like the room had been used to. Even though the walls were lime green. It still brought a sense of sadness to your chest.
The room spun lightly behind your eyes, and you panted out frantically.
What the hell am I doing in here?
[23:29] bin
me: I hope that you sleep well tonight. i’m thinking of you.
“Is everything okay in here?” Chan’s voice said over the speakers.
“W-what am I doing here?” You repeated the question, feeling panic rise up your throat.
“Getting your anger out?” He tiled his head. “I-I don’t know why else because you didn’t tell me. You angry at someone? Something?”
“N-no? --I mean, yes...I-I don’t know.” You said with uncertainty. Suddenly the foam walls of the room started to close in. “I need to get out of here.”
“Woah! Woah! Y/n! What’s--” Chan chased you out of the room, back into the empty hallway with the squeaky floors and the green light.
“Hey, let’s just...take a breather here for a sec.” Your friend reached out to smooth down your arms. “If you wanna talk about it, I can help maybe?”
You tore from his gasp, then slumped against the wall to slide all the way down and sit on the cold linoleum floors with the heaters pumping steadily above your head.
“He’s not...messaging me back, and I think that I royally fucked up this time. I think that I finally did it, I finally pushed him too far.”
“Who? Changbin?” Chan crouched down to sit next to you. “Is that what this is about?”
Shallow breaths filled up your lungs, “I think...I think I just lost everything that I could’ve had with him, and it’s all my fault...I’m fucking angry at myself, Chan.”
“A-are you sure?”
“I basically told him that I didn’t know if I wanted to be his girlfriend...after everything that’s happened, everything that he’s done and how patient he’s been...but...there was Jisung an-and...I realize that I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean any of it, I want to be with him so fucking badly and I was just too caught up to see it and--”
“--Stop!” Chan barked. “Stop and give yourself a second to breathe! Did you realize that you’re not doing that?
You hadn’t. Nor had your noticed your shaking hands. However, Chan had seen them, and held them with his.
“You said that you do want to be with him but you told him that you didn’t?”
Somewhere in the hallway, one of the emergency floodlights blinked with a harsh white light.
“Yes.”
“And did you tell him that you didn’t mean it?”
“I have but he hasn’t gotten back to me? He would always get back to me, no matter what it was--it makes me worry--”
Chan cupped your hands then brought them to his chest where he held them earnestly. “Some things are out of our control, Y/n. And, I hate to say it but, now, I think you need to come to accept the possibility that maybe...” His gaze softened. “I’m sorry. I wish I could say something more or better but I’m not him and I can’t know...”
You scoffed, “Is that supposed to be comforting?”
Chan tsked, as he often would do with a little sarcastic drag to his voice. “A long time ago I promised you that I would always be honest with you, and you know that I hold to my word.
He rubbed his thumb into your hands.
“Do you want me to say then to go running after him? Throw it all to the wind? Even if it doesn’t end up going your way?”
“...Maybe.” You swiped a tear from the corner of your right eye. “Would it be worth it?”
“Maybe.” He sighed.
A silence filled the hall and the space between you two, and Chan kept holding your hand. It was a simple touch, but you hadn’t realized that you had craved something as such.
“Y/n? Can I say something?”
“Yeah?”
“Even if it isn’t him that it ends up being, I think that you should know that you still deserve happiness in someone. Even after all that you’ve been through, you still do. It sounds like to me...you’re finally realizing it.” He smiled with a bit of a wrinkle to his lips. “I’m proud of you.”
You squeezed his hand. “Thank you. Its...been a long time coming.” Your head hit the wall behind you with a slight thud. “I’ve been painting recently. And...it means something to me. I feel like I found something, like I’m seeing something for the first time in a long time and it makes me really... full. Like he does.”
Your friend let go, then went to play with his shoe-laces.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what was the final straw?”
“He just...loved me different. Better than I ever could myself, and I think that it made me realize that in order for me to love him too, I had to make peace with myself, and just...” You breathed out a laugh, “...Chill the fuck out. But--I know that I can’t let go of it forever. What happened, made me. I can’t give that up, but that doesn’t mean that I should wallow in it forever. I don’t deserve that.”
Chan leaned to give you a light slap to the arm. “Look at you.”
“I...saw Jisung too.”
While anger laced his voice, Chan remained level headed. “...And?”
“Me and him just dug ourselves into a deeper hole. Even he...he could do better. He needs a “Changbin” too. You know? I can’t be that for him. I never was even close. I feel sorry. I should probably see him one last time...”
The image of Jisung’s disparaged face burned in your memory in the midst of it all. Somehow you had forgotten that he had gotten feelings tangled it up in it all, and you had just left. Through all that you had been through with him, you couldn’t let it just go so easily.
“There’s a lot of things that I need to make right.” You sighed out with finality. Next to you, your best friend did the same.
“Whatever happens, Felix and I will be here for you. Like always.”
“Mm. Thank you, Chan. Really. Thank you so much. The two of you are the best friends that I could ask for. I don’t know how you put up with me...”
“Ahhh, don’t mention it.” He shoved his shoulder into yours playfully. “Ya know, if this goes south, we could just date.”
“What?!” Your head whipped over to him so hard it hurt.
“As I recall, about a year ago all it took were some jell-o shots...”
You smacked him upside the head, causing him to burst out laughing in that empty hall.
“I told you to forget about that!!”
“I’m just joking!! Jeez! Can you take a joke!?”
You laughed with him, your goofy and kindhearted best friend. You realized it hadn’t happened in quite some time.
“Yeah Changbin is alright, but me and Felix are forever. Got it?” He teased, and you slumped your head on his shoulder.
“I know.”
In your pants pocket, your phone vibrated and flashed with a white light.
[01:36] L. Minho
minho: i fucking hate that i’m in this position
but
bin’s in a bad way and i’m fairly certain that he hasn’t told you about it all
idiot.
anyway, his parents are being shitty assholes and i think that he really needs you right now, even if he isn’t saying anything about it. actually i know that he does.
i also wanna ask you to kindly resolve whatever shit that you have going on before you walk in our door. out of kindness for both yourself and him.
sorry not sorry. i really do love the both of you and it hurts me to see it be like this.
i suggest that you come over as soon as you can.
Your heart beat its way into your throat with a million emotions, but out of them all, fear for Changbin ached the most.
“Chan, I have to go.”
╚ ——————————————— ╝
It was likely Minho who had buzzed you in.
Luckily, the night had somehow gotten warmer--at least warm enough to where you couldn’t see your breath in front of your face any more. Unfortunately though, you had still worn the shoes that Changbin would scold you for wearing on snow-packed nights. Luckily, the snow had started melted too.
The door clicked when it unlocked, and you slid inside the glass entrance that was smudged with fingerprints and the wet from dog’s noses pressing on the surface.
For a reason unknown to you, you decided to take the stairs--even though he had lived on the seventh floor. Partially you had decided that you had done so because it meant that you had more time with your thoughts; more time to decide if you really had resolved all the shit that you needed to leave on the outside of his doorstop.
You thought back to the painting sitting finished in your room. It waited in all of it’s beauty for the sun to shine on it and the rest of the world to see it. For him to see it. It was for him that you had painted it in the first place. Every ounce of pain and confusion was lathered across the canvas, it was bare for anyone to see after you had kept it concealed for so long.
He would see it.
You took each step slow and carefully, and listened to the way that the sound bounced off of the walls and how the carpet matted on each stoop.
Chan had said, “Even after all that you’ve been through, you still do.”
Minho opened the door after three clicks wearing a bathrobe and slippers. For being so distressed like his message had said, he looked perfectly cozy. You remembered that Minho really was one to keep it all together when shit would get intense. Somehow he had the ability to write whole papers over the course of one day and had passed tests after studying for only four hours. You wished you could manage as well as he could.
“Fuck. It’s late.” He rubbed his eyes. “Come in. Take off your shoes please.”
You did so, and rubbed your toes into their carpet. It was almost as if you were waiting further instructions, but you knew full well what you had to do.
Minho glared at you expectantly. “Well? Shits left outside?”
“Shits left outside.” You repeated with a nod.
“l’ll let him explain. It isn’t really my place. Just--listen to him okay? I think that’s what he needs right now.”
The apartment itself was a bit barren, the only things that were placed in the small space were the things that the inhabitants needed: a dining table, a leather couch, a TV set, a few beanbags and a kitchen kept clean by Minho. It was strange seeing a place so organized and...neat. It was as if this apartment was from an other side of the world compared to what you had grown used to previously. Changbin’s thick and dark black coat hung on one of the dining chairs, the same that he had worn the night that he had last seen you. You wondered if it had been sitting there these past few days.
“Go on.” Minho flapped his hands to usher you down the hallway to Changbin’s room. At the end of the hallway was the bathroom, and seeing it flooded your skin with the feeling of warm water and defrosting skin, lips on lips with heated desire; tracing fingertips that got caught with the translucent stream of water as they brushed down spines and hips. If you could’ve gone back to then and done it all over...you wondered if you would’ve.
“Knock first.” Minho mouthed.
You did, breath hitching when it opened slightly, and you called out his name. “Bin? Its me. Can I...can I come in?”
His hesitant voice called back to you, “Yes.”
He was a crumble on his bed, black socks twisted up with his dark bedsheets and his hoodie riding up his back to expose a sliver of skin where he laid facing away from the door. His beautiful dark hair was knotted.
“B-Bin? A-are you okay?” You advanced forward carefully, reaching out to touch his arm. You had never seen this confident and headstrong man reduced to something so small, it broke your heart into shards to see him as such. You didn’t know what to do with yourself: sit with him? Stand? Crawl in to bed next to him? Unspoken words filled the air, and he sniffed out loudly into it.
“Thank you for messaging me still.” Was what he had said first. “I saw them a little bit ago. I was...too scared to open them at first...your messages. I was...ashamed to...”
“--Bin,” You took two steps closer. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”
He sniffed in with a clogged nose once more. “I’m sorry.”
Two more steps. “No, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry that I didn’t listen to you, and took all of your patience with me for granted. I really don’t deserve it. I tore you up, and that was awful of me. You somehow ended up being collateral damage to me figuring my shit out and I can’t say I’m sorry enough. I understand if you don’t want to keep this going that we--”
“--Can you get into bed with me?” He suddenly interjected. Changbin twisted his hand back as if he knew that yours was there in some superhuman way, and grabbed at it. “It’s...cold.”
Your heart paused, uncertain if you had heard him correctly.
“Please?” Changbin muttered. “Two bodies is warmer than one.”
Silently, you crossed the room and shimmied off your coat so it fell to the floor. It had been partially absentminded, but you had pulled on one of his shirts that day. It was light grey, and had nearly lost all semblance of his scent on it. You pulled the covers over both of you, peering just enough to see his puffed and red eyes and red wet nose. Seeing him like this, you had to fight every instinct to pull him into your arms, but rather keep a respectful distance.
From seeing the way that he dominated the stage to how he looked under the soft glow of your pink lights, to how he had looked as thin and as fragile as glass now, it had all finally made sense to you. As brash and forthcoming as he was, it wasn’t all of who he was in the slightest. If anything, it was who he had pretended to be.
Tears fell over his pink lips. “I didn’t tell you because...I was embarrassed. Fuck,” He laughed a little, “It’s so fucking pathetic. I’m so pathetic for getting so messed up over this all. I-I shouldn’t. That and...it’s not something that you should--”
“--Don’t you dare say that I shouldn’t worry about this Bin. How many times do you need me to say it?” You traced his dark hair over his ear. “What happened to being each other’s problems?”
He smiled with a weak grin, then wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “Minho didn’t tell you?”
You shook your head. “He said that you should be the one to.”
Changbin sighed out, then pulled the comforter up to his nose, adjusting himself to meet your eyes with his that were strained with pink.
“They’re disowning me. For real this time. They asked me to do a legal name change and everything...as if...they’re cutting me out of the family line. Fuck, I mean, they basically are.”
His chest shook with an inhale, and a thick and burning mucus felt as if it had clung to your throat. It was anger and rage, the kind that was so foreign to you, it even started you to feel such a thing.
“Bin, I’m so sorry. They’re...they’re fucking less than human is what they are. Treating you their own son like this...like they think that they can reverse time so that you were never even born of them...” Under the sheets your knuckles clenched so hard it bit the skin of your palms. “I-I’m sorry too...that you were going through this by yourself--”
In one single motion he had spread out his arms to circle them around your upper body and pull it into hm.
There he was again. Rosemary and cedarwood.
You were in shock, but feeling the warmth from his body on yours made you shiver--it was the contact that you had craved so intensely now that you had it, it was so all encompassing that your brain scrambled feeling it.
“Thank you for coming.” He whispered to the top of your head.
Your hands snaked around his body, and you held him back.
In that very moment, you had decided that you would spend the rest of your life holding him back if he would let you. If there was someone out there listening to your thoughts, you prayed that they would let you hold him.
Changbin patted to top of your head with a trembling hand.
“What the fuck do I do?”
Your fingers tugged at the thick cotton of his hoodie.
“They said that either I meet with them to sign away my name, or I pack up, and go back with them as if nothing happened. They said that they were willing to “forgive” everything that I had “done” if I chose to come back home with them, so to school, and forget everything that I’ve ever written, performed...”
“They said that??”
The young man remained silent, but instead nuzzled further into you.
“They said that they could arrange for a meeting with their legal team to finalize it in as little as two days if I decide to do it. Those assholes expedited the whole process and called up their lawyers to make it happen as quick as possible...”
“Bin...” You cooed, and smoothed up and down his back. Being close to him like this you could nearly feel his own heart breaking in his chest against yours.
“Do I forget everything that I was to chase this...dream? Or do I go back, get their support, live a normal life...”
“--Stop.” You gently pushed his hand away to look up at him. “This, all of this is your life Changbin. It’s what you’ve worked hard for relentlessly and it’s what makes you happy, isn’t it? Yeah, it’s harder to do, but you’ve gotten so far, people love you! You’ve made a name for yourself, people want to hear your music--”
“--Yeah, my names gotten itself out there a little too well for my parent’s opinions.”
You wiped a tear cascading from one of his exhausted eyes. “They should be proud of you, not trying to suppress you.”
“They...don’t want me to be Changbin any more. Do you know how that feels? I’ve lived my whole life being me and now they just want to take away the very last thing that I have that they didn’t touch?” He stifled a sob.
“Hey! Just because you change it on paper, doesn’t mean we have to call you that!” You laughed out gently, “If you want to get a driver’s license or something it might be important...but, you’re always going to be Changbin to me, and Minho and everyone else who knows you. A name is just a word. You make up who you really are.”
Changbin laughed out, then returned his hand to pat at your head.
“Who told you to say that?”
You chuckled back at the way that he had turned your words back on you. “No one.”
“I’m just me, but...” Under the covers, your legs intertwined. “I think that if we compare a life of missed oppurtunties to a life where you leave a couple things behind, its worth leaving.”
Body heat swirled between the two of you, and it was as calming as a song. Changbin brought his hand down to caress the side of your cheek with as much gentleness one would with those fragile snowflakes.
Past his shoulder, your eye caught a small piece of paper that had been pasted to the wall above his desk: right in a space where he could see it if he had sat at his desktop. It was crinkled and held several creases and the lead that had been used to draw on it had smudged as if it had rubbed up against itself.
It was a picture of a bench, some Christmas lights, and the city skyline behind it.
Tears flooded your eyes, and then fell freely onto his his fingers where he held your face. They caught in the corners of your mouth, and heated up your eyes.
“Woah, hey, what is it?” Changbin rubbed away the wet and pulled you even closer to him.
“Y-you kept it?” Your voice wavered.
“Kept what?”
You pointed a shaking finger to your drawing posted on the wall, and his eyes widened at first like he was embarrassed, then he slowly faded into something much softer.
He nearly whispered the words, “Of course.”
“W-why?”
“It reminded me of you and that night. I think that I realized something then.”
“What’s that?” He wiped your tears once more, stretching the skin of your face as he did so.
“I realized that, well...I’m in over my head here.” He laughed out lightly. “Do you need me to say it again? I love you a fuck ton, alright? Getting over things, and healing from things...it’s not easy. You...don’t have to apologize for the mess of things and what it did to you. It’s not your fault.”
You threw your head into the crook of his neck to sob openly. But I hurt you. I made you wait...I-I don’t wait you to wait any longer.”
“And I made you wait too. My stupid...my parents fucked me up too, and I couldn’t get over the fact that this fucking mess that they made of me put a wedge between me and you. I didn’t feel like you deserved...I’m a mess too. A fucking nervous, cocky bastard at times and I don’t know how to talk about it. Isn’t that pathetic?”
“What?? No--”
“You wanna call it even then?” He grinned out, and it was his sly little smile that you had found yourself thinking of after you had seen it for the first time those months ago.
“I--”
“Damn. It does feel kinda good to talk about things.” He joked.
You cried out his name even harsher, then melted into his whole body. He was boundless in the way that he had understood you, and how he had looked you without condition or pause.
You don’t have to be scared any more.
With your face muffled in the fabric of his shirt, you let the words fly of your tongue with reckless abandon, and it felt as if you had finally been rid of the crushing shroud fogging your mind, and chaining your heart.
“I-I want you to be...my Changbin. An-and I want to be--”
“--Wait!” Changbin pulled you back by the shoulders with a new and wild smile on his face that only grew wider by the second. A type of excited panic flamed in his chocolate brown eyes. “Willyoubemygirlfriend???” He said at light speed.
You were confused as to why he had said it as such, but you nodded, finally feeling the sense of respite that you had searched so hard for. “Y-yes?”
Changbin startled you with his sudden crack of laughter, then squeezed you so tight that it became hard to breathe. Once he let go looser, he bowed in deep to press dozens of kisses on your mouth and around it. Most of them missed the mark, but that didn’t matter to him. He only stopped for a couple moments to mutter the words, “I wanted to say it first.” You would’ve laughed had he not been attacking you incessantly with more and more pecks that you struggled to keep up with.
“I-I’m sorry again that I made you wait--”
Changbin rolled his weight over to lean carefully over your body tangled up in the sheets, then kissed away at your lips with “don’t say that’s “ quietly. “Thank you for trusting me.” He said quickly, then returned, pouring out oceans of admiration onto your lips until they felt a little raw. You kissed him back too, and you kissed him like you wanted to spend your whole life holding him back. His blissful little “oh’s” tickled at your lips, and you giggled at the way that they vibrated.
Once you had properly kissed nearly all of the air out of each other’s lungs, you laid back, gasping, and each still a bit bewildered.
“Thank you for trusting me too.” You turned your head to look at him where he lay with quickened breaths quaking his chest.
“When I go through with this name thing, can you...be there?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.” He said, barely loud enough for you to hear. His strong hands fell down his shirt which you wore; down to the small of your back where he snuck up the fabric. His fingers tickled at your tiny hairs there.
“I have one more loose end to tie myself. One more place that I need to make peace.”
Changbin nodded. “Mm. We’ll get through it together.”
To your surprise, Changbin then took to pulling his sweater over his head, revealing his bare chest, then pulled off his pants from his legs a bit awkwardly under the covers.
“W-what are you doing?”
He giggled, then pulled at the hem of your shirt for you to do the same.
“Trust me.” He whispered.
You held his eyes as you did, and your bare skin too met the crinkling edges of the sheets which were a bit colder than you had expected. Changbin watched as you did so with a prideful little grin.
“I-I’m confused.” You hugged your arms over your cold torso.
“You’re so gorgeous.” He merely muttered, uncrossing your arms for him to look at you fully, then pulled you by the under sides of your chin back to his lips. He pulled gently at your bottom lip with his teeth. “Clothes were getting in the way.” He hushed, then set to unhooking your bra behind your back.
“Getting in the way of what?”
“Me being as close to you as I possibly can.”
While he had said the phrase calmly, it still sent heat rising straight to your cheeks.
“I want to hold my love like this for as long as she’ll let me. Can I?”
Your two bodies met in the middle, flush, buzzing with a kind of giddy energy that only heightened the more curious that your hands got eating up each other’s presence.
“As long as you’ll let me do the same.”
You couldn’t quite tell, but it had almost felt as if Changbin had scribbled little invisible messages into the skin of your back.
“Isn’t it obvious?” He answered.
You took his wrist to kiss at the line of a scar that lived there. Naturally, Changbin blushed rosy from the action--then promptly pretended that he just hadn’t.
~🌹~
Bunch of (Ro)ses!
@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @lunarskzzz
#huhuhu#skz smut#stray kids smut#kpop smut#seo changbin smut#changbin smut#skz imagines#kpop imagines#stray kids imagines#stray kids oneshots#stray kids drabbles#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fanfiction#skz fanfic#skz fanfiction#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfiction#changbin x reader#changbin x you#changbin x y/n#changbin x female reader#changbin x female reader smut#skz angst#stray kids angst#changbin x reader smut#kpop drabbles#kpop oneshots#kpop scenarios#stray kids scenarios
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comforting u when ur stressed<3
genre🍓: fluff, slight angst
pairing🍓: nishinoya x gn!reader, tanaka x gn!reader, sugawara x gn!reader, hinata x gn!reader
warnings🍓: reader not taking care of themselves, reader getting angry and yelling 😀🥴, terrible writing and ✨typos✨
word count🍓: 1.8k
desc🍓: you’ve been stressed because of school and you haven’t been taking care of yourself. your boyfriend has noticed and tries to make you feel better
author note🍓: lol fuck school 🤯🥴 also send requests if you want but just an fyi i’m not that familiar with most characters and it’s gonna be harder to write for them but i’m fine with everyone from karasuno 😭😭
nishinoya yuu (401 words)
you guys used to go on dates every week and would hang out almost everyday but lately all you’ve been doing is studying. you had a few tests coming up and a few missing assignments. it was almost the end of the year which meant that everything was due.
you stayed up all night to study and work. you devoted all your time outside of school to your books. you barely ate, barely slept and barely had any human contact.
when you walked into class you looked exhausted. you looked weak. you didnt look like yourself. everyone noticed this especially noya. he tried to talk to you and get you to relax but you would just walk away from him and review things.
he came over to your house one night, wanting you to stop and eat a meal and sleep. he walked up the stairs to your room, knocking softly on your door.
“y/n? can i come in?” he spoke quietly in case you accidentally fell asleep.
“...yeah...” your voice sounded so drained. he slowly opened your door, stopping when he saw you hunched over your desk, books and papers everywhere. his heart shattered. he walked over to you, softly turning your head to look at him. his eyes scanned over your face, noticing the dark circles, the tear stains, the tired look in your eyes. it hurt him to see you like this. all he wanted to do was hold you and let you know it was okay, that the tests didn’t matter, that you could relax.
he pulled you into his arms, squeezing lightly. “do you wanna take a break?” he pulled away and looked into your eyes.
“i can’t, i’m sorry.” you slid out of his grip and turned back to your work only to be pulled away. you were being dragged to your bed.
“noya? what are you doing?” you asked confused.
“i’m making you relax and you will not fight back. you can’t treat your body like this. i know you want to do well in school but you need to take breaks sometimes”
he threw you onto your bed and collapsed on top of you. you two stayed like that for awhile until he started giving you small kisses all over your face.
“do you want something to eat? i can order whatever you want”
“nothing right now. i just wanna stay with you”
tanaka ryunosuke (420 words)
he waited at the restaurant for an hour. you never said you were gonna be late. you never texted or called him. he got tired of waiting and tired of the embarrassment so he got up and left.
he went to your place wanting an explanation. he knocked on your door a couple times without a response. he called your name. no response. eventually, he got out his spare key, letting himself in.
the place was in total darkness except for a small amount of light coming from your room. he opened the door slightly, wanting to know what was happening. he saw you at your desk crying. there was paper all around you. on the floor, on the desk, everywhere. some of it was scribbled over, some torn to pieces. it was a mess. he took small steps in your direction not wanting to make his presence known just yet. he lifted his hand and tapped your shoulder.
“y/n...are you okay?”
you quickly wiped your face, turning around and forcing a smile.
“i’m fine! what are you doing here?”
he looked at you with a disappointed expression. you forgot about the date. he looked into your eyes and saw how bloodshot they were. he saw how much pain you were in. your smile started to falter.
“we had a date. you didn’t show up so i got worried and came over.” he crouched down next to you “are you sure you’re okay?”
your breath got caught in your throat. you knew he’d be able to see through your lie. so why would you try and do it?
“i’m fine. nothings wrong. i’ve just been a little behind on school and we have tests coming up. i’m sorry i missed our date.”
he looked at you for a few seconds before pulling you into him. he rubbed your back and rested his chin on your shoulder.
“please...tell me the truth” his voice was calm.
and that’s when you broke down. you started sobbing into his shoulder. crying about how the stress of school has been too much for you. about how you were scared to fail or not get things in. how you couldn’t handle it anymore. he let you cry for a while before pulling back. he brought his hands out to your face and wiped your tears. he gave you a soft smile.
“everything’s gonna be okay. i promise. lets just take a little break so you can calm down. if you need any help i’ll be here”
sugawara koshi (463 words)
you kept canceling things with him. every time you two made plans, you canceled last minute coming up with a stupid excuse. he put up with it for awhile but it started to hurt. he got scared. were you cheating on him?
you canceled on him again. he kept calling you but you would never answer. he got tired of it and decided to see what you were doing.
he rushed over to your place, saying hi to your mom as he ran to your room. he swung your door open, startling you.
“s-suga? why are you here? i thought i told you i couldn’t make it...”
“you’ve canceled every date we’ve had for the past three weeks and i’m kinda tired of it. i want to spend time with you but you keep blowing me off. i thought you were cheating so i came over to see if you were or not”
you looked at your fingers, playing with them. you didn’t know what to say. you felt bad for canceling but you felt hurt because he thought you would cheat on him.
there was an awkward silence but it was ended by soft footsteps coming close to you. you felt a hand on your chin forcing you to look up.
“why have you been canceling our dates?”
you stayed silent. you didn’t want him to know how you haven’t been eating that much or sleeping. how many breakdowns you’ve had. you didn’t want him to worry.
“i...i don’t know”
he let go of your chin, letting out a deep sigh. he knew you were lying.
“y/n please tell me. i won’t be mad. i just want the truth”
you kept saying that was the truth and he kept saying it wasn’t. it went on like this for about 30 minutes before you cracked. you started sobbing and telling him what’s been happening. you told him that you didn’t wanna be seen as stupid because you kept failing quizzes and tests. you didn’t want to embarrass him. he pulled you off your desk chair and into his lap. he wrapped his arms around you, softly squeezing. he rubbed his hand down your back trying to calm you down.
“you’re perfect for me. you could never embarrass me okay? you’re not stupid, you’re not an idiot, you’re perfect. please tell me these things next time. i’m here for you. i’ll help you. you’re not alone.” he gave you a kiss on the forehead.
he pushed you off his lap and stood up, grabbing your hands and pulling you up with him.
“we’re gonna go get something to eat and then we’re gonna come back here so you can sleep. you need to stay healthy and strong. i don’t want anything happening to you.”
hinata shoyo (600 words)
you two were always hanging out. there was barely any time you spent apart. you loved being around him and he loved being around you but recently, you’ve been...distant. its not that you don’t love him or that you’re getting annoyed by him, you’ve just had a lot of schoolwork to do.
shoyo didn’t notice you not hanging out at first but eventually he noticed you spending less and less time with him. it hurt him. it made him feel like you didn’t want to be with him anymore.
he started to not answer your calls when you would call him (which was rarely!!). it hurt him to do it but if you wanted your space he would give it to you. he got tired of this tho. he missed you and missed being around you.
he got your favorite candy and favorite flowers. he made his way to your place, knocking on your door and greeting your mom. he went straight to your room, bursting in like the ball of mf sunshine he is.
you have been extremely stressed out and irritable lately. school hasn’t been the best for you. you fell behind in most of your classes and the work got harder. it took you longer to finish things which is why some of them were marked as missing. you’ve been trying to make it all up but it’s been a lot for you. so when shoyo came in all happy it annoyed you. you weren’t in a good enough mood to deal with him so you snapped when he tried to talk to you. you screamed at him and said some things you didn’t mean. things that hurt both of you. but you couldn’t stop. he started arguing back and then you told him to leave. you didn’t think he’d actually do it and you definitely didn’t think he’s be gone for this long.
you admit what you did was wrong but you couldn’t help it. that was the last straw. you felt bad but how could you apologize? whenever you saw eachother in the hallways he would always walk the opposite way even if he had to go in your direction. even if you were able to catch up with him he would ignore you and pretend like you didn’t exist. he wouldn’t answer your calls or texts. you didn’t know what to do.
you waited outside the gym until practice was over, hoping to catch him on the way out. after a long time it finally ended. you watch everyone walk out. everyone except for shoyo. you went up to daichi to ask where he was.
“oh hey y/n. he went home sick. did you not know...?”
you thanked him for telling you and ran towards his house. you knocked on the door, waiting for it to open. after a few minutes it opened to your boyfriend. his usual smile not on his face.
“why are you here. are you gonna yell at me for ‘bothering you’ and ‘being too clingy’ again?”
his words stabbed you like knives but you understood where it was coming from.
“i-i came to apologize.” you started crying “i was really stressed and everything was bothering me and i know that doesnt excuse it and i know you probably won’t forgi-” you were cut off by him hugging you.
“remember to breathe.” he held you closely, making sure you were actually there. the past few days were hard for him but he didn’t want to upset you again. you two made up and ended the night in cuddles and movies.
anyways that sucked 😀
tags (dm or send and ask to be added): @yourdaddychan @noyatonic @sunacor3 @yanjeongs @lov3ric @hotelhaikyuu @satosimp
#🎈mine#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#hinata shoyo x y/n#hinata shoyo x reader#hinata fluff#sugawara x reader#hinata x reader#sugawara koshi x reader#sugawara koshi x y/n#sugawara angst#sugawara fluff#hinata angst#tanaka ryunosuke x reader#tanaka ryunosuke x y/n#tanaka fluff#tanaka angst#haikyuu angst#nishinoya yuu x y/n#nishinoya yuu x reader#nishinoya fluff#nishinoya angst#noya fluff#noya angst
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Twin Size Mattress//Draco Malfoy x Reader
She hopes I'm cursed forever to
Sleep on a twin-sized mattress
In somebody's attic or basement my whole life
Never graduating up in size to add another
And my nightmares will have nightmares every night
Oh, every night, every night
A/N: Based off of ‘Twin Size Mattress’ by The Front Bottoms. So this song is one of my absolute favourites and I think it’s so sad dude. However I thought this would make such a beautifully sad draco x reader. Just to let you know: requests are open, I have a new Draco series coming & a Lucius imagine out super soon! Anyway enjoy!
Set: Golden Trio era into Post War
Word Count:1,989
Warnings: honestly so much sadness bro
This is for the lions living in the wiry broke down frames
Of my friends bodies
When the flood water comes, it ain't gonna be clear
It's gonna look like mud
But I will help you swim
I will help you swim
I'm gonna help you swim
To Draco, she was a roaring lion with a mane of perfect hair and a will stronger than anybody else’s. He’d noticed her long before she’d noticed him. He watched her as she got weaker throughout the years, the darker the wizarding world got. She was a muggle born, so he guessed this was a hell worse than she’d ever expected to experience. Y/N’s body became weaker over time and the lion like prowess stopped as Draco looked after her from afar. She stayed too close to Hermione for him to ever speak to her. But he wanted to. He got to one night, when he was taking a late night stroll around the grounds to clear his mind in his fifth year. Dumbledores army had just arrived back to the castle, Harry had met Voldermort again, this time at the Ministry and everyone was scared. That’s when he saw her standing on the edge of the Black Lake, swaying on her heels. He’d approached quietly, playing with his hair as he came closer. When she saw him she flashed him a gentle smile. Draco finally plucked up the courage to stand next to her. He flicked his wand so that a gentle, silver glow lit the river bank. Y/N looked up at him through her thick eyelashes.
“Are you scared Draco?” She asked gently. They’d never spoken, but she laid her head on his shoulder then as if they’d been friends for years. He raised his hand to her head and gently played with Y/N’s hair, thinking of an answer.
“I’ll protect you.” Was all he said as they stood there together in peace. “I will protect you with everything I have.” She shuffled closer to him then.
“The floodwaters coming Draco...” She huffed as she looked at the water in front of them. He took her further into his arms and kissed her forehead.
“I will help you swim.”
This is for the snakes and the people they bite
For the friends I've made, for the sleepless nights
For the warning signs I've completely ignored
There's an amount to take, reasons to take more
They’d decided to be together after that night, in a secretive way, but still devoted. He’d snuck out of the manor at least three times a week so she could show him muggle London in the summer holidays. Draco adored the time he spent with her, but in the back of his mind he knew it was coming to an end. You see, unlike Y/N, a beautiful lioness, Draco was a snake. In the recent months, things were becoming darker. Instead of running away though, he was losing any shred of bravery he had left. He was friends with all the wrong people. Back at Hogwarts, he sat at the Slytherin house table, the dark mark he’d acquired burning under neath his robes, he looked over to her. Drowning out the conversations of his friends about mud bloods, he watched Y/N laugh with Harry, Ron and Hermione as they sat huddled together and it stung. Why couldn’t he be like them?
Draco cuddled her to him as they lay in bed, thoughts of what he had to do swirling through his head. Y/N was peacefully asleep, while he lay wide awake. He was wearing long sleeved pyjamas even in the heat as he couldn’t let her see what he’d done. As he lay looking down at the girl, he thought about all the warning signs at home he’d ignored, he should’ve prepared for this war, got away, joined the order, moved as far away as possible. That was all just dreams now. His mistakes were piling up on top of each other and he couldn’t take anymore. Draco kissed her head as he jumped out of bed, sliding out of the room silently, praising merlin that his girl was a heavy sleeper. He made his way out into the corridor towards the room of requirement.
It's no big surprise you turned out this way
When they close their eyes and prayed you would change
And they cut your hair, and sent you away
You stopped by my house the night you escaped
With tears in my eyes, I begged you to stay
You said, "Hey man, I love you, but no fucking way!"
Y/N awoke to screaming in the halls. She slipped unnoticeably out of the Slytherin common room, getting lost in the crowds. Hermione appeared then next to her, concern spread across her features. She pulled Y/N with her as they jogged out into the courtyard. Hermione and her pushed to the front. There lay Dumbledore, dead. Harry was bent over his body sobbing, his shoulders heaving as he held his hand. The school raised their wands to the sky, Draco was no where to be seen. People began to leave then, one by one going back to their common rooms, until the four of them were left.
“This was Draco.” Harry spat. Y/N looked at him in slight shock, struggling to regain composure. “He let them in. He’s one of them. He has the mark. Snape had to kill Dumbledore to save Draco. This is his fault.” Rage began to sore through Y/N’s body. She briefly dropped to the ground to give Harry a hug, before getting up and leaving the three be. She ran, as fast as her legs would carry her, up to the Owlery tower. She stood on the edge for ages, bent over in agony. She never thought she could hate him, but he’d proved her wrong. Y/N was knocked out of her thoughts by a familiar hand on her shoulder. Draco smiled down at her, tears brimming in his eyes. She simply shrugged him off.
“Show me it.” She demanded, crossing her arms and standing opposite. He looked at her wide eyed. “Show me it, now.” Draco took a deep breathe and began to roll up his sleeve, showing her the mark that adorned his pale flesh. She scowled at it. “It’s no big surprise you turned out this way, really.” She whispered at nobody in particular. Draco stayed silent, pulling down his sleeve again, hiding the mark once more. “I just prayed you would change sides.” Y/N looked at him now. He guiltily stared at his feet. “Did you escape?” She asked gently, watching how he nodded so slowly it felt like it might of not happened. “Are you going to fight against the school?” She asked, her tone emotionless. He nodded again, looking up at her with big, sensitive eyes. Y/N glared at him, and turned on her heal to walk away. Draco, with tears in his eyes went to chase her.
“Stay?” He begged, droplets of water rolling down his cheeks. Y/N turned to him, placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and shook her head.
“Hey man, I love you.” Draco looked up a little eagerly, but was met with her pained face walking away from him once more. “But no fucking way.” She spat.
This is for the lake that me and my friends swim in
Naked and dumb on a drunken night
But it should've felt good, but I can hear the Jaws theme song
On repeat in the back of my mind
The war was over. The right side had won. Draco’s family had all charges against them dropped. He should be happy, he thought to himself as he stood by the side of the large river in front of him, Blaise and Pansy splashing eachother already swimming. Draco stripped from his clothes and dived into the cold water. He felt alive for the first time in a few years. The group swam together, laughing, all of them naked. The water felt so relaxing over his skin as he sunk deeper into the river. But still, in the back of his mind he knew something was still wrong. It was on repeat, the sense of loneliness, which he tried to push away. That was the moment he decided to start to drink. Everyday. To feel alive again.
Make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face
There are lessons to be learned
Consequences for all the stupid things I say
And it is no big surprise you turned out this way
The spark in your eyes, The look on your face
I will not be late
He’d passed out again. It was only three pm, but he was laid on his sofa in his flat, eyes closed. They fluttered open at the sound of ringing. Draco flung his arm to reach for his phone. The number was unknown. He groaned, before swiping and answering.
“Who is this?” He snapped down the line.
“Jesus Draco,” A familiar voice spoke, “kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face.” The sentenced ended with a slight tone of amusement. Draco’s heart began to flutter as he realised it was Y/N.
“Lesson learnt.” He groaned. “I’ll take the consequences for all the stupid things I say.” She laughed gently.
“Are you drunk?” She asked quietly. Draco nervously paused.
“Yeah...” Draco whispered. Y/N sighed.
“It’s no big surprise you turned out this way.” The words stung as Draco remembered the last time she’d used them. “Anyway, do you want to see me? It would be nice to see you. I’ve missed the sparks in your eyes and the look on your face when you see me.” Draco swallowed loudly.
“Please,” He sighed, “I will not be late.”
I wanna contribute to the chaos
I don't wanna watch and then complain
'Cause I am through finding blame
That is the decision that I have made
Draco staggered into the bar. He knew he’d fucked up before he’d seen the disappointment painted on her face. His breath stank of fire whiskey, his clothes were dirty and he could barely walk. He sat down opposite her, and she simply blankly stared back. He’d gotten nervous. He’d contributed to the chaos in his brain by poisoning himself. He didn’t want to watch himself be lonely just to complain.
“Am I to blame for this then?” Y/N spat at him as he swayed in his seat. She looked beautiful Draco thought, absolutely radiant. Draco simply shrugged as she asked. They sat in silence for a while, taking eachother in.
“I’m about to be made homeless.” Draco said, with a slight laugh to his tone. He decided to laugh so he didn’t cry. She just stared back at him.
“I’m going.” She announced breaking the silence. “I’m not letting you ruin my life again, i’ve decided.” And Y/N left Draco sitting alone.
She hopes I'm cursed forever to
Sleep on a twin-sized mattress
In somebody's attic or basement my whole life
Never graduating up in size to add another
And my nightmares will have nightmares every night
Oh, every night, every night
Draco laid on the mattress on Blaise’s floor. He stared at the ceiling as his girlfriend Astoria laid next to him asleep. He wondered what Y/N was thinking about. Probably the fact he deserved this. To not have a permanent home. He clung to himself. He didn’t want to sleep. Draco knew when he did his nightmares would get worse. His nightmares had become so violent, he thought his own nightmares were having nightmares. And that’s where he’d stay. On his twin sized mattress he used to share with her, just now without her warmth. And that was how it would be. Every night of his life.
#draco#draco malfoy#draco x reader#draco x reader fluff#draco x reader angst#draco x reader sad#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy x reader fluff#draco malfoy x reader angst#draco sad#draco fluff#draco angst#draco fanfiction#frontbottoms#songprompt
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Forgive Me (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Reader and Bucky are enemies who prank eachother and annoy eachother all the time until one insult is taken too far, Bucky must do everything he can to make it up to the reader.
Warnings: Bucky is a bit of an asshole, insults, mentions of a parent’s death (but no details), language, kissy kissy at the end. Angst with a happy/teasing ending.
Word Count: 2,176 (oops someone take my keyboard away from me!!)
A/N: This is for @simsadventures 1k writing challenge with the prompts:
1. Enemies to Lovers
2. One character annoying the other just because they’re into them and don’t want to admit it
Thank you for letting me join babe and so sorry this took so long! I love you!!!
Another day stuck at the compound as the storm outside hit unexpectedly overnight. Too dangerous to fly the quinjets, Director Fury had canceled all missions temporarily which meant you had to stay at the compound with the team and more specifically with the man you detested from day one when he was so rude to you, the two of you never really got along since you were always bickering about everything and anything. It drove the team insane with your constant arguing, but you couldn’t stand the guy and didn’t understand why he was even on the team. All he did all day was brood and yell at you but because he’s Stevie’s best friend you figure that’s the only reason he gets away with so much.
It didn’t help the situation that you developed a big crush on Bucky. The room always felt better with his presence in, and so ordinary if he wasn’t in the room. You became jealous of every girl he dated and went to bed with, that’s when you knew you were in trouble and you were in fact, in love with him and could do nothing about it. If he ever found out, no doubt he would tease and insult you about it.
You were taking a shower in your room, sighing as the hot water cascaded down on your body as you washed away your worries, your loofah loaded up with your fruity shower gel. With the water running and you being too busy making sure to scrub every inch of your body, you didn’t hear your bathroom door open.
Bucky had stealthily entered your unlocked room and turned the cold water on in the sink, you shrieked out as the ice water hit you.
You yanked the shower curtain back slightly still covering your private parts as you gaped at the man. “Bucky, what the fuck are you doing in my room?!” You gritted through your teeth.
Bucky had a shit-eating grin on his face as he shrugged and walked out of your bathroom backward, leaving the cold water running and you groaned in frustration.
It was no secret that the two of you would prank each other occasionally. You once put green hair dye in his expensive bottle of shampoo and snapped a photo of him with the result. He retaliated by putting salt in your coffee instead of sugar.
And Bucky enjoyed annoying you, he loved getting you so riled up because he thought you were the cutest. He was in love with you and it killed him he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
You shut the shower off and got out, towel drying yourself quickly and throwing on a hoodie and a pair of black leggings. You tied back your wet hair as you exited your room, making your way down to the kitchen area where the team was hanging out. Steve and Bucky were making eggs by the stove.
“Good morning Stevie!” You greeted cheerfully, perching yourself up on the stool and resting your forearms on the counter.
“Good morning Y/N.” Steve greeted back, sipping his coffee and reading the newspaper.
“Goddamnit!” Bucky cursed. “Steve watch my eggs for a minute I forgot to grab my phone. I invited Holly for a skype chat.” Bucky sprints out of the room when Steve gives him a nod, and a smirk grows on your lips.
You quickly empty the tomato ketchup from the bottle and replace it with extra hot sauce and set it down next to Bucky’s plate of eggs just as Bucky gets back. Steve raises an eyebrow at you and shakes his head. You purse your lips and watch Bucky eagerly as he puts the sauce on his eggs and sighs. He lifts you off your seat and shoves you away from him.
“What’s the matter? Never seen a guy eat eggs before?” Bucky snaps, scooping up his scrambled eggs and eating them, immediately choking on the strength of the sauce.
“Enjoy.” You laugh, patting the soldier on the back and going to sit down on one of the couches in the common room with the team.
Bucky is seething and once he’s got his coughing under control he stalks towards you with his fists clenched by his side and a scowl burning holes in your face.
“You know what Y/N. You gotta be the most irritating fuckin’ person on the entire planet!” He grits out through his teeth.
“Well tell me Bucky, is it possible for you to choke on your own dick?” You grin, Sam spits his coffee out of his mouth.
“I don’t know doll, why don’t you get on your knees and find out?” He challenges, moving in front of you.
“Eww, no thanks. According to one of your one-night-stands, you taste like ass.”
“Oh yeah? Well, you smell like ass. You need to go and take a fuckin’ shower because you smell so bad that it’s no wonder anybody wants to be with ya. You probably got your smell from when your ma pushed your pathetic ass from her disgusting pussy.” And that was a line crossed for you. His insults you could handle, but insults about your mom was a step too far.
You swallowed the lump in your throat and willed your tears away, you hadn’t talked about your mom in years and the team knew why but Bucky didn’t.
You stood up abruptly and walked back to your room without another word spoken, locking your door behind you and collapsing on your bed as you think about your mom.
Bucky saw the look in your eye at the mention of your mom and he immediately felt guilty. He believed you genuinely hated him and he returned the favor because it’s easy to hate someone who hates you.
“Good job, Buck.” Steve rolls his eyes, knowing just how sensitive the topic is for you. Steve didn’t understand why you and Bucky didn’t get along. Bucky joked and laughed with the other girls and even went out to the club with the boys, but with you, he was a different person.
“You’re an asshole, Barnes.” Nat piped up from her seat.
“Steve, help me fix it.” Bucky pleads, not knowing what to do.
“Why Buck? So you can continue to throw insults towards her?” Steve places his hands on his hips and shakes his head. “You know, I’m so sick of the two of you bickering and hurting each other. We’re the Avengers. We’re supposed to be a team! Instead, I got you two down each other’s throats!“
“I don’t hate her Steve.” Bucky’s voice was so quiet that Steve wasn’t sure he heard him correctly.
“What?” He leans his ear more towards Bucky’s mouth to hear him more clearly.
“I’ve never hated her. I love her and I just don’t-I fucked everything up.” Bucky runs his hands through his hair and tugs on the roots painfully.
“What about this Holly girl?”
“There is no Holly. She’s just a friend to make Y/N jealous.”
“You’re such a jerk. Here’s what you are gonna do…”
It was evening and you still hadn’t emerged from your room. You had actually been rocking back and forth on your bed, whispering “I’m so sorry mom” over and over. Your heart clenches in pain as you remember her final days before that fucking disease took her away from you. You’ve never been the same since and you’re not sure you ever will be.
“I miss you.” You whisper as another round of sobs rack out of your chest as you clutch your memorial necklace tightly in your fingers.
A loud knock on the door catches your attention and you wipe your eyes with the sleeves of your hoodie as you go and unlock the door, thinking it’s Steve or even Wanda coming to check on you.
“You’ve been crying.” A gruff voice laced with guilt says as the man responsible for your heartache stands in front of you, looking over your features.
“What the hell do you want, James?” Bucky winces at your tone.
“I just wanted to-” you try to shut the door on him, but his foot stops you from doing that. Instead, he pushes the door open and forces you back. Knowing he won’t go away anytime soon, you go back over to your bed and sit down, playing with the hem of your hoodie and keeping your gaze to the floor.
The bed dips gently next to you, and you feel cold fingers tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear and you shiver.
“I’m so sorry, doll.” He whispers. “I really never meant to hurt you.” He sniffles, wishing he could turn back time.
“Don’t you have a date with your girlfriend?” You ask bitterly, ignoring his apology.
“Is that jealousy I hear in ya voice?” He teases slightly.
“No.” You shrug slightly, sniffling and wiping your nose with your sleeve.
“I do care about you, doll,” Bucky whispers, leaning closer to you. “I don’t mean any of the insults I say. I just-I know you hate me and I don’t blame you but-”
“I don’t hate you.”
“You don’t?” He asks, eyes wide in surprise.
“Not at all. It was just a joke.”
“I don’t hate you either.” He smiles softly and for the first time, you meet his gaze. His eyes are full of sadness as he searches your soul. “I’m sorry for everything I said. I never wanted to hurt you. Please, if you’ll let me I’ll make it up to you.” He strokes your cheek gently.
“How are you going to do that?” You wonder curiously.
“Well, I’m gonna run you a bubble bath. Make some hot chocolate and invite you to my room for a movie and cuddle night.”
You frown as you think over his words.
“A bath because I smell right?” Reminding him of his recent insult.
Bucky shakes his head no.
“You smell really great all the time. I have a hard time keeping myself together when you’re in the room because I wanna kiss and taste every inch of your soft skin. Like I said doll, I don’t know why I say half of the shit I say because none of it is fuckin’ true. But I mean it when I say I’m sorry and I’m serious I wanna make it up to you and make you feel good, make you happy. I have feelings for you and I will never hurt you again. I promise.”
And you don’t know what you were thinking - chances are you probably weren’t but you leaned up and caught his lips with yours. Relishing in his taste of peppermint and sandalwood. Bucky reciprocated, angling his head to kiss you deeper. His fingers snaking under your hoodie and grazing your hips. A gasp escapes your lips at the different temperatures of his hand, and Bucky takes the opportunity to slip his tongue between your lips, moaning at the way you taste.
Bucky reluctantly pulls away for air and rests his forehead against yours, smiling softly at you.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He whispers, his breath fanning against your swollen lips. “Will you be my girl, doll?”
“Do you promise to never hurt me?”
“I cross my heart. I’ll make it up to you, for every single thing I have ever said to you, I’ll make it right. You’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.”
“I need a date first Buck.” You tease, pulling away from him slightly but he still has a firm grip on your hips.
“Come to my room tonight at 8 pm? I’ll set up a dinner and movie date for the two of us?” He asks hopefully.
“Alright.” You agree, knowing he’ll keep his word and make it up to you. He pecks your lips a final time and stands up.
“I’ll see you soon.” He says, walking over to your door. His hand hovering above the doorknob. “Oh and doll?” He looks over his shoulder and you hum in response. “Don’t wear underwear.” He winks, walking out. A small laugh escapes you and you hide your face with your sleeves as embarrassment washes over you at how forward he is.
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#sims1kcelebration#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky x reader#bucky fluff#bucky imagine#bucky fic#bucky x you#bucky barns x reader#bucky barns imagine#bucky barnes angst#angst with a happy ending#writing challenge#mushyjellybeans#steve rogers#asshole!bucky#bucky angst#marvel#marvel fic#mcu imagine#mcu#x reader#the winter solider fanfiction#the winter solider imagine#bucky imagines#imagine#one shot#one shots
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I Have to Tell You Something
A/n: HEHE I SUCK AT WRITING BUT I LOVE LOGICALITY AND THOUGHT I WOULD WRITE THIS ON A WHIM ANYWAY ENJOY THIS TRASH
Warnings: medical talk, no happy ending, angst but it has some comfort! Ask to tag
“How do you always look so beautiful in the morning?” Logan mumbles through his kiss as he places a gentle one on Patton’s cheek. He flops back onto his pillow sighing, Patton lays stiff.
“Logan we have t-“ he begins quickly getting stopped by Logan
“I can’t even look at you” He turns his back to his partner laughing as he makes a joke of his antics. Patton gives him a weak smile unsure of how much longer he can hold onto. “But I have to so I can do...this” Logan whispers the last part as he cups Patton’s face giving him a kiss, the breath leaving Patton’s body “Now come, I’m going to make you the most delicious food you have ever had the pleasure of tasting” he quickly leaves the warmth of their bad, his hair a mess as he places his glasses on his gruffly face. Patton admires him for a moment, the faded navy blue shirt rested on his waist scrunched with the grayest sweatpants all bunched up.
“Hold on” Patton sat up, bringing the blanket with him “Just give me a second ok?” He requested, his efforts were futile as he watches Logan’s mind already wandering. His boyfriend crawled onto the bed once again taking Patton’s lips on his own.
“Breakfast” he smiled, a smug excitement as he bounced off the bed and into the loft.
“Breakfast” Patton repeated, rubbing his face vigorously he took his own glasses and hesitantly followed Logan. He sat at the kitchen counter whilst Logan had already begun cooking.
“Coffee sunshine?” He offered Patton a cup, Patton gave him a lazy nod hoping the brewed drink would help him get through this. He was glad for the Saturday morning. Remus slept until noon, Virgil had already left for his morning shift. Now in the hazy living/kitchen area, with the sun finding its way through the curtains, was the perfect moment.
“So listen-“
“I smell food!” A third voice cried. Logan whipped around a giant smile plastered on his face. Remus strolled in giving Patton a kiss on the forehead. They had always shared this bond, a sibling one. Which of course extended to Roman, Remus’s actual brother. He took in the scene before humming as he leaned onto the counter. “Peaches, what’s better than Logan cooking?” He inquired from Patton
“Logan cooking breakfast” Patton responded meekly. A clap and bounce was his verification that that was indeed the answer remus was looking for. Patton forced a tighter smile, his patience and ability wearing thing. Of course he couldn’t fault his roommate, but when was he supposed to do it. Remus and Logan no doubt would be working on their project today, Patton had clients and tonight was Virgil and Romans engagement party. Speaking of clients, he watched his phone vibrate the metal counter. Logan and Remus paid no mind as they continued discussing the true meaning of breakfast. “Patton Foley of Foley Fashion speaking, how can I help?” He answered.
“Oh good, i thought I had written the number down wrong” he heard a familiar voice speak through the other end.
“Mister Voce” he recognized “How may I help you?”
“Oh please just call me Janus. I was just wondering if we still had our meeting today? About the outfit for the gala?”
Patton yawned rubbing underneath his glasses.
“Yes, twelve pm at Monsier Meals” he nodded, instinctively holding the phone away from his ear as an elated shriek was heard.
“Merveilleuse!” Janus replied “Thank you” and soon the phone was quiet.
“Breakfast is served!” He heard Logan announce. He walked back towards them watching as Remus took no survivors, allowing a hefty amount of food to grace his plate.
“I will be in my room watching the season finale of the bachelorette if you need me” he says before rushing away. Finally, this was Patton’s chance. The loft fell quiet as Logan and Patton sat across from one another eating their meal.
“You had something you wanted to talk to me about?” Logan reminded, for the first time this morning Patton’s heart stuttered.
“yeah um...look Lo i-“
Surely this was a joke, as if the universe was so hellbent on making Patton’s life difficult
“I’m not marrying him!” Virgil slammed the door. Logan and Patton shared a look, their eyes and nods a full conversation. After pacing with anger Virgil sat down with a drop next to Logan “what was I thinking, saying yes..to him” patton chuckled going to clean his dishes. Logan set his utensils down facing his friend.
“What now?” Logan asks expecting something minor, it was typical with the pair, they were perfect for eachother. Of course they were, but ever since they had met when Patton moved in and introduced the twins to the group, Virgil and Roman were set, game, match. Patton listened humming ever so gently, but the sudden sobs almost caused him to drop a plate.
“I-I can’t marry him!” Virgil gasps “He’s so fucking perfect and annoying and I love him!” He wasn���t typically like this in all fairness, but he was a sucker for romance...especially his own. “He came to my work today, he bought me flowers! He invited me to lunch!” Virgil shook furiously, Logan nodded not grasping what the problem was.
“What a horrible horrible man” Logan’s response fell flat. Virgil stood and began walking to his room, Logan knew he was meant to follow, he placed his dishes by the sink quickly. Before he could go he felt Patton tug his shirt pulling him gently. “Tonight I promise”
“Tonight” Patton begged. Logan gave him a careful kiss on the forehead, before smiling. “I love you starlight” Patton watches as his boyfriend ran after a rambling Virgil.
The place became clean once more, as if untouched. Patton debated going into his room but after walking by and hearing the raging fit Virgil was making he decided to work in the living room, after he showered.
It had been about fourth five minutes of design and putting together a portfolio for the meeting before Patton’s concentration was broken by the sound of his phone.
“Patton Foley-“
“Hello this is Doctor Mauras office, is this Patton Foley?” His heart dropped, he was unsure as to why he knew this was coming. He was hoping it would have gone differently, Logan by his side at least. He leaned back sighing as he massaged the nook of his nose.
“This is he”
“Mister Foley, you came in for check up the other day and doctor Maura wanted to run some extra tests is that right?” He knows the woman on the phone was doing her job but he wanted nothing more to rush this. Just tell me he could hear himself scream.
“Mhm”
“Right well I have the results here...” her tone wavered and Patton took note “from our tests we were able to conclude you have a grade one glioblastoma growing in your brain, it’s not as aggressive but it’s quickly getting to be a problem we have some treatment...” he heard her voice continue talking but nothing was processing the words just existed as his mind went blank. The nausea...the constant fatigue and weakness...his inability to comprehend things... What was he going to do? What was he going to tell Logan? “... even with all of that it’s an incurable condition”
He wanted to faint right there, pass out.
But his fear seized him. Would he ever wake up?
“Ok finally done with that..” Logan breezed into the room watching Patton instantly shut his phone. “Are you hiding a secret lover from me?” He teased expecting at least a giggle of amusement. But the way Patton’s face morphed...the small shake before his eyes were swept with a glossy look. Logan rushed to his side allowing him to collapse into sobs as he held him. “Patton...” but he couldn’t find the words, so gentle strokes and kisses of comfort was what he provided.
Glioblastoma..
Treatment options...
Hard to process...
Preparations should be made..
Can improve condition but...
A choked sob broke though
...it’s incurable
#sanders sides#youtube#Patton sanders#Logan sanders#Remus sanders#Virgil sanders#writing#write#my writing#angst#hurt/comfort#hurt comfort#fic#fiction#fan fiction#logicality#tw angst#tw medical
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Mind if I request a fluffy scenario where after shoto and his male s/o graduate from u.a, y/n proposed to him asking “will you marry me?”
First off I love this ask so much!!! Thank you for sending me it! I hope I do you justice ! Okay let's get into it!
Scenario :
Y/n had a lot on his mind graduation was only a few weeks away and he had almost enough saved to get his boyfriend shoto the ring he had planned on proposing with. He was nervous beyond belief, he went to shoto's closest friends to ask about proposing they all agreed that the idea was wonderful. Above all he wanted shoto to say yes of course. He just hoped that it wasn't too much all at once.
Shoto was never extremely public with his emotions so he didn't want the proposal to be in front of everyone. That wouldn't be good on y/n's nerves and it certainly wouldn't help shoto's decision making. Luckily, Momo was hosting a small party just for 1A's graduation and y/n checked to see if he could invite shoto's family. Momo was ecstatic and jumped at the opportunity to help in any way possible.
That was another thing y/n was extremely nervous about shoto's family. Yes, they knew if him, he had met them on quite a few instances but, he wasn't sure how'd they react to him proposing. The first person y/n told/suggested the idea of proposing from shoto's family was his older sister. She smiled and told him that it was a wonderful idea and that her brother would also agree. The siblings had a great love for you, they saw how much shoto trusted you and wanted nothing more. Then there was his mother.
You had expected her to be well ... You didn't exactly know what to expect. Shoto's family situation was difficult and you didn't know how she would exactly respond. You know what you didn't expect, you didn't expect her to hug you and call you son. That was unexpected but, not completely unwelcomed. It was awkward, in a sweet calming sort of way and you hugged back as she gently shook as tears escaped from her eyes.
"You're all he ever talks about. I'm so grateful for what you've done for my son. I'd love nothing more than to see you two get married." and you let out a cry of joy.
Okay that's 3 out of 4. Which left you with, endeavor to tell the truth you didn't exactly like the man. You still held some resentment from what he had done to shoto and what his child hood was like. However, you knew he was trying, and if he could try then fuck it, you could try to. You walked into his home office and stared at the pro in front of you. He looked up at you and gave you his full attention. You just had to rip the bandage off before, the tension in this room became unbearable.
"Mr. Todoroki erhm Endeavor? "
"Yes, y/n I see shoto isn't with you so I'm assuming this is a matter between us."
"Well yes, it is. I would like your blessing to ask shoto to.." You couldn't read his expression and it irked you. 'shit he's gonna say no '
"You want to marry my son?"
"Yes, that's it." You still couldn't read his expression. 'fuck just show some inkling of emotion what is he a robot ?'
"Okay, go ahead."
"You, you aren't saying no?"
"Shoto really loves you, and if he agrees to it who am I to stop you."
You just stood there dumbfounded. 'Well I guess endeavor isn't as big of a dick as I had originally thought'
"okay well, thank you."
You were set. Ring in pocket, family waiting at momos house, friends all set for pictures, graduation was emotional and you two were on your way to momos right now holding hands is the backseat of am expensive car and you could feel the lump in your throat. 'oh god I hope it's not too much '
Shoto noticed your unease and Gave you a silent smile and a small squeeze if the hand. God you really loved him. The second uou stepped into the party shoto noticed his entire family being there and gave momo and his family a look of confusion that only depend when he heard all his friends (who didn't know about the proposal ) gasp and pull put their phones. You let out a shaky noise in order to get his attention as you steadied yourself on the knee you set yourself on.
"Shoto we've known eachother for years, I've seen you become a great person, a great man, and a great hero. I couldn't be prouder to be a part of your life, to be your friend-"
Shoto's eyes were blown wide and a huge smile graced his features something extremely rare and you felt a happy sob build up in your throat but you pushed it down and continued with you small speech.
"- I couldn't be prouder to be your boyfriend. And with all respect I'd love to have the honor of being your husband so, I guess I have a big question to ask."
You could feel the amount of pure, love, and joy in the room as shoto's eyes welled with tears and he slightly gasped and you smiled back back your own eyes welling up as well.
"Shoto Todoroki, will you please marry me?"
He nodded his head and threw his arms around you.
"Yes. I love you so much."
And then he kissed you, and you weren't nervous, or anxious or even worried that things would go wrong if that moment you were bothered you, you were together, you were happy, you were in love.
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stay - mark lee
mark and reader - best friend to lovers trope oops ft. supportive friend donghyuck (who is the mvp in this entire thing tbh)
inspired by the friendship of caroline and stefan during seasons 5 and 6 of the vampire diaries. i hope my fellow tvd fans can see where i was going with this!
n e wayz, this is pretty angsty and could be triggering so warnings: death mentioned, lots of grief and mentions of a car accident.
word count: 4.8k
without further ado, please enjoy and tell me what you think hehe
a/n: anyone else love kick it era mark? oop
//
“i’m so sorry for your loss” you heard the doctors speak to your parents. you hid behind the walls of your brother’s hospital room, eavesdropping on the conversation. your heart immediately stopped; this wasn’t possible. you had just seen him today. jisung wasn’t gone.
your parents were sobbing, you could hear the heartbroken cries from your mother. the doctors were equally distraught,
“i understand this is a very difficult time. please grieve with your family, again, my sincerest apologies” you dropped the bottle of water you were holding and bolted out of the room. you slammed yourself against the nearest wall and cried. you cried until your body ached, until your lungs were begging for more air. he wasn’t gone. jisung wasn’t gone. he was a fighter. you kept chanting in your head.
“y/n! what are you doing?” you heard donghyuck exclaim, instantly dropping to the ground with you.
“he’s gone, hyuck. he’s gone!” you wail, digging your nails into your palms.
donghyuck just held you in his arms, like nothing else truly mattered. he kept repeating “i’m sorry” to you, but he didn’t have anything to be sorry about. it wasn’t his fault.
“how’s mark?” you had the courage to finally speak.
“he’s...recovering. he’s refused to see the rest of us. i actually came to see if you were still around, maybe you could talk to him” donghyuck sighed, still brushing fingers through your hair. mark was your best friend. you would do anything for him. he was always there for you when you needed him to be. he always gave you crappy advice, which, 40% of the time actually worked. he drove you to school almost every day....your mind started drifting away,
driving.
a wreckless mistake can cause so much damage.
few hours ago
mark and jisung were driving home from basketball practice, as they had both recently started training together for a local team. it was fairly dark out, and mark didn’t want jisung to skate back home.
“just get in the car, jisung! there aren’t any girls to impress with your little skateboard” mark teased, watching as the younger boy just rolled his eyes and got into the car.
“i’m not trying to impress any girls” jisung huffs, putting on his seatbelt.
“you mean, one girl” mark smirked, knowing of his little crush on a girl in his maths class.
“shut up!” jisung blushed, turning on the radio to listen to some music.
“is it okay if we drive around for a bit longer? things at home aren’t so, well calm, i guess you can say” jisung mumbled, feeling embarrassed.
“oh okay, but are you sure you don’t want to go home? whatever it is, it can’t be too bad” mark just gulped, his thoughts wandering to you. were you okay?
“i’m sure, my parents are just arguing and well y/n doesn’t get to hear much of it because she’s always at the library or work or hanging with you guys! it’s hard just being at home, alone” jisung confides in the older boy, which led mark to have a warm feeling inside.
“thank you for trusting me, jisung! of course we can drive around, as long as you pick the songs!” mark tried to make jisung smile, even if it was the tiniest bit. jisung nodded along, turning up the volume.
they were driving along the highway, which wasn’t as busy as it usually was. the boys were laughing, telling stories of their random experiences from school. mark swore his eyes were off the road for a second, when suddenly, another car’s headlights blinded the two boys. mark tried to swerve to the side of the road, but it was too late, the other car crashed into the passenger side, causing his car to spiral.
mark reached for the younger boy’s hand, before his vision become blurry, knocking him out.
now he laid, staring at the ceiling of the hospital room. reliving that moment over and over. replaying it. how he could have saved him. how it should have been him.
mark lee was always seen as a protector to his friends. he was a natural leader. the one who always stood up for others. but right now, in this moment, he felt like a failure. he was ashamed. he couldn’t face you. no matter how many times the rest of the boys came over, telling him how distraught you were. mark refused to see you. every time he heard your voice behind the curtain, he moved to his side and pretended he was asleep.
one night, you snuck into his room, without warning him. you stared at his injuries, he looked miserable. he was in pain. your heart broke.
“mark” you whispered. the boy had his eyes closed and laid to his side again. you sighed, taking a seat next to his bed.
“i don’t know if you’re pretending or not. but i don’t like how you’ve been ignoring me. jisung is gone. i miss him. i miss you. i want to talk to you. mark, you’re the only person i need right now. please talk to me. i will wait for you. just please” you sobbed into your hands. mark’s heart ached to hear you cry. he hated when you cried. but he couldn’t get himself to just turn around and look at you.
“goodbye mark, i’ll see you soon” you whispered, giving up at that point. you stumbled out of the room, and walked towards the exit. you passed the room, jisung was in. and your eyes immediately teared up.
a few months went by, you were trying to get yourself back on track. it was graduation soon. you and your friends were beyond excited. you all needed something good to distract from the events.
“guys we made it!” jeno smiled, as they all huddled in a circle.
“i can’t believe jaemin was able to pass bio” renjun smirked, nudging the boy.
“i can’t believe it either mate” jaemin chuckled, along with everyone else. how you’d wish mark was here to see you graduate. he was always there. no matter what. you were all aware that mark had been discharged from the hospital. after that last night, you tried to see him again, but you saw someone else occupying his room. you heart sank, at the thought that mark had yet to speak one word to you in months. not even a message or call. nothing.
“anything you wanna say, y/n?” donghyuck pulls you closer to him, sending you had zoned out.
“i’m so proud of us, we got through some tough times together. thank you all, so so much” you felt a tear threaten to leave your eye,
“oh please don’t cry! it makes me wanna cry” jaemin pouted,
“group hug you losers!” renjun yelled as you all embraced eachother.
after graduation, things settled down. you, donghyuck and renjun were packing to move out of town for college, while jaemin and jeno were staying behind to take a gap year. things were finally going back to being normal, except, you hadn’t heard from mark since the accident.
you all were hanging out at donghyuck’s house, chatting away about your future plans and what you all wanted to achieve by this time next year.
“jaemin and i wanna start our own sports club! something fun to do during summers and we get to teach kids!” jeno excitedly explained,
“suits you guys so well! i’m so happy for you” you smile at him before getting ready to share your plans.
“this time next year i’d hope to have survived first year college stress and also, not be so sad anymore” your smile faded, as the boys solemnly looked at you.
“i miss him guys” you mutter, your words becoming softer.
“we miss both of them” donghyuck puts his arm around you. you both looked up and saw the other boys fidgeting. they looked uneasy.
“what’s up you guys?” you wipe away a small tear that stained your cheek. you prepared yourself for what they had to say,
“i don’t know how else to tell you but i spoke to mark, well the three of us did” renjun began talking, your eyes widened at his words.
“what do you mean you guys talked to him? where the fuck is he? why didn’t he come see all of us?” you screwed, visibly distraught at what you had heard. donghyuck held you back, knowing you weren’t truly angry at the boys.
“he came by one day when we were shooting hoops. he told us he was leaving town. he didn’t say where he was going” jaemin continued, the three boys sitting across from you had the most sympathetic expressions on their faces, you couldn’t be mad at them.
“he didn’t say anything about me?” you barely spoke above a whisper, watching as the three shook their heads simultaneously.
“that dick” donghyuck exclaims, letting go of your figure. he stood up and began pacing.
“he just left her. he left y/n, alone. he’s known her longer than any of us and just left. he’s a dick” the boy balled his fists.
“we know, we too, don’t understand why he’s gone. but what else can we do? he’s pretty much dropped off the face of the earth” jeno sighed, holding his head in his hands.
“i hate him” you raise your voice, everyone immediately draws their eyes to you and goes silent.
“y/n, no you don’t. you don’t hate mark” renjun muttered, trying to not let this escalate.
“i hate him! i hate him so much! i hate him for leaving me. i hate him for ignoring me. i hate him for letting me fall inlove with him” you whimper at the last few words. holding your hands over your chest, tears staining your cheeks.
the boys knew of how you felt about mark. it wasn’t so discrete. you thought of him as more than a friend, but you never thought you stood a chance. he was seen as a brother to you. but you already had a brother. you wanted mark, you wanted him to hold you when you were upset. you wanted him to be the one to comfort you during dark times. you wanted him to wake you up in the mornings with small kisses. but you would never get that. because mark lee was selfish. he was a coward. he just left.
you swore to yourself you wouldn’t contact him. but when you looked all around your room, pictures of you and mark and your silly adventures were plastered everywhere. you wanted to take them down, but some photos had jisung in them, you didn’t have the guts to remove any photos, it would have hurt too much.
you broke your promise to yourself, you continued to send mark voicemails every single day for a month. you wished him well, and that he was safe and happy. you hoped that he had found new friends and was living a great new life. you spoke about your days, and what you did. knowing that he may not even have the same phone or number. speaking out your thoughts still helped in a way. even if the other end was completely radio silent.
you were scribbling down the last sentences of your notes for class the next day, when you hear your phone ringing.
“yes, hyuck?” you answer, closing up your notebook and placing your stationery back in its usual place.
“i know this sounds crazy, but i think i know where mark is” he blurts out. you stop completely in your tracks, unsure of where he was going with this.
“how did you- when? what?” was all you could say.
“some of my second year friends, kept mentioning, a new kid named mark that has been hanging around at their parties. they aren’t sure if he goes to the same college as us, but he’s definitely a lot closer than we thought” donghyuck explains to you over the phone, you were stringing along with every word.
“where is he then?” you started biting at your nails, feeling a wave of anxiousness wash over you.
“he’s roommates with a guy named lucas, we can go there on the weekend if you want. i got their address” donghyuck waited for you to respond, but you were just in shock. not only did you think you would never see mark again, he was only staying a few towns away. that broke you down even more.
you decided to send one last voicemail to mark that night.
“i still don’t know if you even listen to these. but i’m coming to see you mark. you’ve hurt me so much, and you’re not even physically here to do it. you know how fucked up that is? i can’t wait to see what excuses you have for me, but i will not hold back”
saturday morning rolled around and donghyuck was at the front of your house, waiting in his car. you rushed out, bidding a goodbye to your parents and jumped into his car.
“ready for the road?” donghyuck flashed you a smile, waiting as you nodded, before starting the engine and driving off to the mysterious destination.
the whole drive there, you felt sick to your stomach. you weren’t sure what you would say to mark. you weren’t sure if you would even be able to speak. you might have just cried the moment he opened the door.
“we’re here” donghyuck cut out your thoughts. you both exited the car and made your way to the apartment. your nerves were going through the roof, you hoped mark was there, you really did.
donghyuck sensed your nerves, he gave you a tight hug before knocking on the door himself.
it took a few seconds before you heard footsteps. the door swung open and you were greeted by a tall boy with tanned skin and light brown hair. he was wearing a white t-shirt and black shorts, you assumed it was lucas.
“may i help you guys?” he asks kindly,
“we’re...friends, uh of mark” you spoke, watching as he nodded.
“i didn’t know he had friends coming over! i was just heading out, he’s in his room right now, feel free to come in! i’ll call him” lucas smiled widely, opening the door wider. you felt your heart pound in your chest. you were about to face the boy who brought you so much pain in the past few months.
“markie! you got some friends here for ya!” lucas yelled while pretty much slamming on his door.
“what do you mean friends?” you heard the familiar voice ring through your ears. you watched as the same boy, walked into the living area. his hair was now raven black, compared to his chestnut brown colour, you were far too familiar with. his face immediately became pale. lucas stares between the two of you, raising his eyebrows in confusion,
“this is kinda awkward, i’m gonna go now, see you guys, have fun catching up”
mark just gave him a small wave before walking towards you. donghyuck stood behind you, ready in case you couldn’t handle your emotions.
“what are you doing here?” his voice was so cold. he was so straight forward. you wanted nothing more but for him to hold you and say he’s sorry.
“really?” was all you could choke out at that moment. you saw his eyes shift around the room, clearly uncomfortable with the situation.
“i’m gonna leave you two to talk” donghyuck states as he moves to the kitchen, mark leads you to his room, closing the door behind you both.
“i can’t believe you” you stutter, crossing your arms, watching as he sits on his bed.
“what? y/n? you can’t believe what? that i actually have a good life right now?” mark groans at you. this may have been the first time you’ve seen him so distraught.
“what happened to you? did you not get my messages? my voicemails?” you whimper, he refused to even look at you.
“i couldn’t listen to them. you know that” mark muttered, turning his head to look at you.
“why did you leave?” you sighed, moving to sit next to him, leaving a fair space between you two.
“i couldn’t stay. i couldn’t stay in that town when everything bad that happened to all of us, was my fault” mark’s voice was unsteady. he couldn’t control the sobs that wanted to escape.
“what do you mean?” you wanted to hold his hand, touch him in any way you could.
“i killed him, y/n. how can you forgive me? how can you still care for me?” mark looked right into your eyes, his were glossed over in tears. the dark circles under his eyes and his messy hair, didn’t indicate he was living his best life.
“you did not kill, jisung. you got hurt too” you move to sit right against him, your shoulders touching.
“i did though. i’m the one to blame. jisung didn’t want to go home that night because your parents were fighting. he wanted an escape. i should have still taken him home. i shouldn’t have gone on that route through town. it was all my fault” mark whimpered, tears flowing out of his eyes. you placed your hand over his. your eyes beginning to stream tears of your own.
“oh mark lee, you could have never predicted that something that terrible could have happened. no body blames you” you held his head to your chest, letting his tears trickle down your shirt.
“i didn’t want to leave you, you know” he sniffled. you nodded, even though he couldn’t see you.
“but you still did. you hurt me, mark. real bad. i hated you at one point. i thought we were stronger than that” you sighed, brushing your fingers through his hair. he pulled himself up to look at you.
“i’m sorry” he mumbled, pulling his face closer to yours.
“it’s okay” you were speechless, you had never been so close to him. he stared into your eyes, flickering down to your lips.
“i’m inlove with you” you mumble, ready to press your lips together. mark stopped you, pulling himself back.
“i- i can’t” he stood up and turned his back to you.
“what?” you grabbed his shoulder, turning him to face you again. he got slightly taller, or maybe it was because you hadn’t seen him in so long.
“i can’t love you like that. i’ve hurt you too much. you deserve better than me. i can’t” mark runs his fingers through his hair. you were more frustrated than ever,
“you’re right, i do deserve better than you. go fuck yourself” you grit through your teeth, before landing a loud smack to his face. he tried to chase after you, but you were already out the door. donghyuck was about to follow you when he bumped into mark.
“look here buddy, you fucked with her heart so bad. i don’t care what you said to her, but she would die for you. she would have done anything for you. she cried almost every day for a month after graduation, because she wanted you there for her” donghyuck shoved the older boy, so that his back hit the nearest wall.
“you don’t know how much pain she’s been through, and all she wanted was for her best friend, to be there for her. and you couldn’t even do that. you’re a coward mark lee. she’s inlove with you. and i know you are too. i know you want to protect her, but she’s desperate for your love again. so cut this act and be a decent human. for her sake. please” donghyuck finishes, not waiting for mark to respond before chasing you to his car. you had already sat in the passenger seat and began crying hysterically.
“it’s okay sweets, he will come to his senses soon” donghyuck pulls you in for a quick side hug, before starting the car.
you were too broken. and you weren’t sure if anything could fix you.
a week had passed since that dreaded day. you had barely left your house. it was exactly like the week after jisung passed, all over again. your parents weren’t sure if they should push you to tell them what was wrong. you were glad they thought that, it kept you from talking about your feelings for mark. even if he was a complete ass to you, you couldn’t get rid of years of emotions.
you were laying in your bed, rewatching the vampire diaries for the thousandth time, finally getting up to parts where stefan and caroline were almost in the same situation as you and mark. you groaned at how painful it was to watch. you shut your laptop, and sighed, you hadn’t showered in a while. as you were getting ready, you heard a faint knock on your door. you assumed it was one of your parent’s, checking up on you.
“come in!” you yell, grabbing your stuff in your arms. the door opened slowly, you heard the person cough slightly, knowing it wasn’t your parents, you froze.
“uh hey” mark’s voice echoed through your room. you glared at him, ready to shove past him and tell him to leave. but as you approached him, he grabbed your wrist. you groaned, tears ready to stream. you started banging his chest, mumbling hurtful words to him. he knew you that what you were saying was true. he didn’t deny anything. he held both your wrists, not wanting you to punch him anymore. you just balled your fists, pushing your head into his chest. he let go of your wrist and pulled you into his chest completely. he stroked your hair gently, mumbling “i’m so sorry baby” over and over again. you felt your arms wrap around his torso. you weren’t sure what you were feeling at that moment, but it wasn’t complete hatred or anger for him. he was always going to be your mark lee.
“i’m sorry baby” he muttered, before you looked up at him. his eyes were red, indicating he was crying before he even entered your room.
“baby?” you mumble. not once in your entire friendship, sort of not friendship, did he call you baby.
“yes. i’m a little too late but, i’m inlove with you, y/n. i know i pushed you away, i didn’t want to. i hope you trust me on that. i didn’t want to hurt you, but i did it anyway. i didn’t want you to think about me anymore. you could have been happier without me. you could have made new friends! gotten new interests, become a new you. i didn’t know that you needed me that much” he stuttered over his words, holding both your hands in his.
“i don’t know what to say” you shake your head, holding onto his hands tightly, as if he was going to just leave again.
“can i kiss you?” he pressed his forehead onto yours. your heart didn’t hurt so much anymore. you weren’t sure how you were feeling, but you weren’t opposed to the proposition. you nodded slowly, watching as mark pulled your chin up with his finger and pressed his cold lips onto yours. this wasn’t how you imagined your first kiss with mark. you dreamt of it being in his car, while you two were watching the city lights and stats like you would always do. but this feeling, was something you couldn’t stop.
you held onto his shoulder and he moved his hand to cup your cheek. he pulled away, pressing his forehead onto yours again,
“you don’t need to forgive me, ever really. i just needed to do that before anything else happened. y/n, i would do anything for you. even if that meant pushing you away so you could be happier. i’m happier with you. i am a better person with you. and if it takes me forever to prove that to you, i’ll do it, because being with you, feels like forever” mark muttered before pressing another kiss to your lips. you didn’t respond with words, instead you pulled him in by his shirt and continued to kiss him repeatedly. he led you to your bed, your back pressed against your mattress, with mark on top of you. he tried to pull away to speak but you continued to kiss him more. eventually he started chuckling,
“why are you laughing?” you smiled, still holding onto his shoulders.
“you just want to kiss! how about tell me how you feel!” he chuckled once more, causing you to roll your eyes. you pushed him back, sitting cross legged from him.
“i don’t forgive you yet, you have a lot of making up to do. but i just want you to promise me one thing” you sigh, taking his hand in yours.
“anything” he assured you, squeezing your hand in his.
“promise you won’t leave again. please. stay with me” your voice cracked, thoughts of him hurting you, coming back,
“i’m not leaving anymore baby, i’m not going to run away from my problems. i’m done with that. i’m focusing on us now” you felt more tears prickle in your eyes,
“oh no why are you crying?” he pouted, wiping away your tears.
“fuck you, you’re too fucking cute” you manage to smile, letting him know you weren’t upset.
“you’re cuter” he mutters into your temple.
“i love you, mark” you run your fingers around the palm of his hand.
“i love you too, y/n” he stroked your hair gently as you both cuddled up in your bed.
mark lee. the only boy who was your weakness. but also made you strong. he loved you like no one had ever before. he wanted to protect you from any danger that came towards your way. he needed you close, as did you. he will always be the one for you, no matter what happens.
a/n: apologies for any mistakes! mark lee got me feeling things *sigh*
#mark lee#mark lee imagine#nct imagine#nct angst#nct dream imagine#nct 127 imagine#nct fic#nct au#mark lee au#mark lee fic#jisungsmochiimagines#jisungsmochi masterlist
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Crazy, Rich, and They Hate Me — Epilouge
Jaehyun’s head is pounding. He can’t remember how many texts he had sent to your phone, and he doesn’t care. You may have not wanted to hear him or see him, but he still needed you. Even if it sounded stupid, he was willing to look like a complete idiot.
He eventually began to have a stare down with the bottle of vodka that taunted him from the counter. He doesn’t even know how that got in here—maybe it was from his angels? Or demons. Just as he was about to rise to make himself feel as close to nothing as possible, someone was knocking on his door.
He’s silent. It’s obvious he’s in here, as this is his room, but he doesn’t care about respect anymore. He was tired of thinking about others feelings before his own.
They knock again.
“Son, it’s me.”
His father’s raspy voice that sounds so close to his own is on the other side, and like a light switch does he feel like a child. He wants to be held, shushed. He needs someone that’s not his mother to tell him everything will be okay, even if it’s not the truth.
Minjun is careful as he creaks the door open, stepping inside the large space. It’s clear that memories from Jaehyun’s childhood are popping into his head—unfortunately ones he wasn’t there for. He just remembers the stories. Jaehyun’s first steps. His first time uttering a clear word. He heard that over the phone, but it didn’t make it any better.
“Dad.” Jaehyun says in a shaky breath.
“You don’t have to speak.” He utters, approaching the bed quickly as his sons tears were rare. They were so alike in so many aspects, but he knew his son wasn’t aware. How could he be? The only thing he knew about his father was that he was a hard worker. At least he taught him that much.
“I lost her.” He sobs loudly. Jaehyun wanted his mother to hear it all. He hasn’t felt his father hold in forever. And even then the last time that took place was when he was too young to remember it happening. It was all so unfamiliar. Regardless, it was everything he needed. The grip on his body is tight and it makes him feel like he didn’t make a mistake trusting his father. He wasn’t here to criticize him.
“Let it out, son. I’m not going anywhere.”
Those words, minus a few sounded so alike to yours. Whenever Jaehyun needed advice, or guidance for anything big or small, you would always say this to him as he enraged. He didn’t realize until now how much he took that for granted. Living in a fairy tail where words held power seemed so perfect for him and his perfect life. Now look at him, alone.
“What—what do I do? Huh dad?” He hits his chest gently. He had never hyperventilated so much in his life. He didn’t know what to do with himself. All he knew was that his chest burned and so did his skin. He felt like hell. A life without you is hell. “She’s gone. She’s going back home. I heard her when she came to the house.”
“I know you don’t want to hear anything about your mother...”
“No!” Jaehyun shoots up. “I don’t want to see her, hear her, be near her. It’s bad enough I’m in this house right now.”
“Jaehyun.” His father sterns, and the intense glare that he’s rubbing into the already sharpened wounds of his son is enough for him to listen. His eyes are raging and wet, but his mouth is shut. “Just listen to me.”
“Your grandma hated your mother with a passion I had never seen before. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t know how one could possibly despise someone for something so stupid. Class? And although it wouldn’t have mattered, it blew my mind that even while your mother was still loaded rich, beautiful, and smart, she still didn’t get the approval.”
“I thought with time, everything would change. Me and your mother would go to the states, mom would miss me and realize she’s pushing me away, she realizes how idiotic she sounds, and then boom—life is perfect again. I’m the destined son, I run the buisness, and me and your mother have kids running around half naked while we chase after them filling the mansion with laughter.”
“But that didn’t work. We went to the states, and that only made mom more angry, so we came back. I thought that maybe their first meeting wasn’t personal enough. Maybe I needed to move out of the way and let them bond.”
“That didn’t go well either I assume.” Jaehyun adds in.
“Of course it didn’t. Mom didn’t speak the entire trip, so your mother ended up calling me to save her. I won’t go on, but do you get what the moral of this story is? Hm?”
“That grandma isn’t as amazing as I thought she was.”
“No, son.” Minjun rises. His arm extends to place on his shoulder, and Jaehyun can see the light strain it’s causing him. He moves up to fill the space. “The moral of this story is that you will never be able to please these fucking people. Excuse my french.”
“I know your feelings of your mother have drastically changed in these past couple of days, but pretend you’re me. I’m extremely disappointed in her right now too. Disgusted, actually. But your mother is the love of my life. She’s difficult, but I love her. And I married her. And I got the best gift I could ever recieve because of her—you. My son. I’m sorry I was never around. I’m sorry if you ever felt like work was all I cared about, but it was all for you. So you could live life how you wanted.”
It was all coming back. The heavy emotions Jaehyun had finally let in. His father was right. There were nights, especially when he was younger, where he felt his father was avoiding him. That he really just didn’t want to play cars or hide and seek. But as he grew up, he knew that wasn’t true. His body is moving on its own as it deeply embraces his father—his dad.
“I know dad...I know. I love you.”
“I love you too, son.” Minjun had never felt Jaehyun like this, but it felt all too rewarding. He was always haunted with nightmares of his son resenting him. He doesn’t want to let go, but he has one more thing to show.
“One more thing.” He sniffles. He places his hand in his left coat pocket, digging unnecessary.
“What’s that?”
“Something that you better use.”
In his hand is a wooden box, clearly antique. The engraving reads letters, but Jaehyun can’t read them. His head is still pounding and maybe that’s why he can’t realize what’s in front of him right now. He definitely understands when he father snatches it open, though.
“Dad...”
“You want to marry this girl, right?”
All he can do is nod frantically. He never thought he would see the day where this ring would be on a finger other than his grandmothers.
“Is this real?!”
“The real thing. Not a remake. It took so much convincing, but me and mom had a talk. A very important one.”
As Jaehyun takes the box into his hand, his heart sinks into his stomach. “I—how do I do this? Do I get doves? Do I—
“You go to her, no matter where she is, and you propose son.”
“Okay.” Jaehyun is running around the room grabbing all of his belongings. He doesn’t have a suitcase—he’s just grabbing the essentials. Now Minjun is getting a headache, although he finds this all to be too cute.
“Don’t go too fast.”
Jaehyun is about to run out of the room before he stops.
“Son, wait.”
“Hm?”
From the right pocket, his father takes out a piece of paper. “You’re going to need this, arent you? Unless you’re going to swim or something.” He smirks.
“Right...” He trials, walking quickly to grab the plane ticket, but not before embracing his father one last time. “Thank you so much, dad. I don’t know what I would do without you, but I’m going to bring her back to you. I promise. You’ll love her. If she says yes.”
“I know I will.” He smiles. “I know I will. Now go. I want some grandkids sooner than later.”
“Everything okay?”
It’s you, and it’s home. In the aftermath of your honeymoon love making, Jaehyun took a step outside to the wooden patio, and his gaze on the waves—the way his eyes were soft, but also spoke rememberence told you a memory was running through.
His bare chest moves up and down as he takes in the scent of Aruba. The golden sunset is beautiful, but not as beautiful as you. He couldn’t believe everything that had to happen for the two of you to get here.
“I don’t know if this is a good stare into nothing, or a bad stare into nothing, but if it makes you feel better your dad made the picture of me and him his Facebook profile picture.”
Jaehyun can’t hold a chuckle in. He never could around you. He feels you on his right side, and unconsciously he opens up his side for you to seep into. His lips connect to the side of your head like always.
“Did he now?”
“Yes he did. You better treat me right, or I’ll go be with him.”
“You wouldn’t.” His eyes dissapear as he puts on an Oscar performance of looking angry, but he couldn’t hold it for long. He has to kiss you.
“You’re right...I wouldn’t.” You smile. He’s still staring at you, but now you’re trying to lock eyes with whatever has him out here instead of in bed with you. Your left hand is on his right, and the ring is prominent on your skin. You always wore it like it was made for you, but the band that laid above it was the icing on the cake.
The two of you were married. He always knew he would be able to say that, but even so, it feels like a dream. His mom came to the wedding. She didn’t look happy by any means, but she came. She also hugged you and said congratulations. Maybe that was his fathers doing, but he didn’t care. He knew it gave you peace of mind.
Rosé’s baby bump was starting to show big time, but she was rocking it like a pro. It’s always said in Seoul that although couples who were “put together” may last forever, they hate eachother, but that would never be the case with Johnny and Rosé. At the reception, the way they looked at eachother was more fire than they had at their wedding night, and that was beautiful.
Haechan, Taeyong, Lucas, and Yuta, along with Johnny were Jaehyun’s best men. Rosé, Jasmine, and Heechul were by your side. It may sound weird, but you made it work.
“I’m okay.” Jaehyun begins, rubbing your shoulder softly. “I’m better than okay. I just thought about how my dad saved me more times than I ever knew. I love that man.”
“He loves you too, baby. You wanna know who else loves you?”
“Who?” He plays innocent, but he already knows the answer. “Is she cute?”
“You better hope so.” You chuckle sweetly. “Well, you better hope one of them is. The other is destined to be cute.”
“Huh?”
“I love you.” You kiss his nose gently. “And they love you.” You take your ringed hand and place it on your belly. Obviously it’s nothing there, but it will be soon. Sooner than you think.
“Baby...”
You immediately catch him in your arms as you know he’s going to practically faint from the news. “Mhm.”
“You’re pre—pregnant? Are you serious?”
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life other than you.”
“We’re having a baby?”
“We’re having a baby.”
Quicker than lighting is he picking you up in his strong arms and swinging the patio door open. He doesn’t throw you on the bed, but instead gently places you as he hovers over.
His lips are on yours and it’s passionate, but slow.
“Thank you, Y/N.”
“For having your baby?”
It makes him laugh.
“For all of it. For being you. Words cannot explain how much I love you. Never forget that okay?”
“I love you more, Jung Jaehyun. More and more everyday.”
Happy endings really do exist.
#nct#nct 127#nct jaehyun#nct imagine#nct scenario#jaehyun#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct angst#nct scenarios#jaehyun imagine
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Amortentia
(gif is not mine)
Pairing: Gryffindor! Hongjoong x (Your house)! reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst??, Hogwarts! au
Words: 1.615
Song: Pin - Grimes
A/n: i listened to pin while writing this and im not sure if the lyrics have anything to do with the plot but yeah kgjldfjgld hehe hope u like it anon! since u didnt specify joongs house i just went with gryffindor :D IGNORE THAT I PUT LIKE a tiktok audio reference in here... I just. Man i got no braincells..
It was your sixth year at Hogwarts, so it was no surprise you finally got a lesson about Amortentia. You and your gryffindor boyfriend, Hongjoong walked to class. You were holding hands as he joked about the Amortentia smelling like your sweet shampoo.
“Like my Amortentia wouldn’t smell like your signature stinky smell!” You laughed.
Hongjoong threw his head back, laughing because of your remark.
“Wow, thanks (y/n)!” He ruffled your hair and quickly pecked your cheek, knowing that if any teacher saw you, you would have detention; Again.
Potions was one of the few classes you and Hongjoong had together. He was pretty good at it, and you were, well, not failing the dreadful class.
“Good morning , students!” Slughorn spoke and the class went silent, you all respected Professor Slughorn greatly. “Today, I’m going to teach you about Amortentia. If you had done the preparations, you had known Amortentia is a love potion. The most powerful one in the world, to be exact.”
You all quickly got to work, and Hongjoong being your partner in class, you had it brewing pretty quickly.
Professor Slughorn finally got to your table and smiled. “Hongjoong, I hadn’t expected anything else. It’s perfect. (y/n), did you help? Or did you let Hongjoong do all the work?” You quickly shook your head. “No, professor. I helped Hongjoong a lot!” He grinned. “Good, that’s what I like to hear.”
After chatting with the professor a bit, Hongjoong turned to you. “What does your Amortentia smell like?” He had a sparkle in his eyes and it made you smile.
You took a little sniff from the brewing cauldron. You giggled. “It smells like my bed, paint… And strange enough… You after a quidditch match?”
Hongjoong blushed, and giggled. “Well, my amortentia smells like… Hmm. A quaffle, new parchment and your hair… Hey, I predicted that earlier!” You just smiled and squeezed his hand.
After you and some other classmates were done with the potion, class ended. It was now dinner time and you and Hongjoong were on your way to the dining hall. When you got there you had to part ways to sit with your respectable friend group.
You sat down beside Yeri and Jungwoo, and started talking about your day and classes. Suddenly you felt someone squeeze in between you and a housemate , who you recognized to be Yewon. You looked up and it was Youngtaek.
Your relationship with Youngtaek was… Interesting. The boy had always had a small crush on you, and you kinda suspected he did. You never said anything about it, though.
You didn’t get along that well, he annoyed you sometimes with his know-it-all attitude but you always tried to be nice to him. He was a housemate after all.
“Hey, (y/n). I know we’re about to have desert but I made you a little pastry.” He said, visibly nervous.
“Oh my god…” “Jesus…” You heard Yeri and Jungwoo mumble. You were about to say something not so nice, but you changed your mind. Sometimes you can choose to not be a dick. “Do you like it?” Youngtaek asked you while playing with his fingers. You gulped. “Yes… Thank you.”
After dinner you were still a little hungry. “Hey, Youngtaek. Is it okay if I eat the pastry now?” He nodded eagerly. So you took a bite and looked at Youngtaek who grabbed your hand. You wanted to shove him away, but suddenly you didn’t mind it anymore. You actually liked it and laced your fingers with his. He giggled and put the pastry away. “Did it taste good?” You booped his nose. “Of course, silly!” Yeri and Jungwoo witnessed what went on and looked at each other. This couldn’t be good, but they decided to wait it out and see what happens.
Hongjoong had no idea that this had happened. But that wouldn’t last long.
That night you didn’t come to the gryffindor common room to cuddle and read with him. But he tried not to be too sad about it, maybe you just needed some time alone.
The next day you didn’t greet him on the way to the dining hall, in fact, he hadn’t even seen you.
That was until he walked in there, and saw you glued to Youngtaek’s arm, Yeri and Jungwoo looking visibly uncomfortable and Youngtaek enjoying it very much.
He stormed to his table and sat down next to Mingi. “What’s u-“ “What the hell is with (y/n) and Youngtaek? I’m their boyfriend, why are they glued to his arm? Why is he enjoying it so much? Why do (y/n)’s friends look so uncomfortable? What the hell is going on?!” Hongjoong ranted to Mingi. “Wait, didn’t that guy have a crush on (y/n)? Like, for a long time already? A-and, I don’t wanna assume but you guys got taught about Amortentia yesterday, no? Maybe… He took some and used it on them? I don’t know I’m just guessing but, it’s an option?” Mingi said.
Hongjoong’s blood started to boil. Could it be? Would Youngtaek do that? What the actual fuck? That was his s/o, not Youngtaek’s. He turned back to Mingi. “Dude, can you make an antidote. Please? It’s Saturday, we don’t have classes and I’ll make your herbology homework for the rest of the month?” Hongjoong pleaded. With a sigh and a nod, Mingi agreed.
After breakfast, Mingi headed to the potions class and Hongjoong went to look for Yeri and Jungwoo.
He found them pretty quickly and pulled them aside. “Did Youngtaek give anything to (y/n) recently? Like to eat or drink or whatever the fuck?”
Yeri nodded. “Yeah, yesterday at dinner he gave them a pastry and suddenly they were all over him.” “And you guys didn’t tell me anything? You guys didn’t tell a teacher? You didn’t tell him off?” Yeri and Jungwoo looked at eachother, and then looked down in shame. “What the fuck?” “Look, we didn’t think it was serious? Like, maybe (y/n) just got over their annoyance for Youngtaek and liked him? A bit? I don’t know, I’m sorry…”
Hongjoong ran his fingers through his silver locks and sighed in annoyance. “It’s- it’s whatever. Look, just get (y/n) to the potions classroom in like, 20 minutes. Okay?” Yeri nodded as Jungwoo spoke. “Yes, sir!” And with that they went off to find you. Hongjoong headed to the potions classroom.
Meanwhile you, you were in your common room with Youngtaek. He was feeding you strawberries and cuddling you. “Ah, Youngtaek! You’re so cute!” You pinched his cheek and booped his nose.
As he fed you the last strawberry, he spoke up. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” “Oh, of course, Youngtaek!”
“Not happening.” Jungwoo said and quickly picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.
Yeri gasped. “Gosh, (y/n), you look so sick…” “Whatever!” You snarled. “Let me go! I was about to kiss the love of my life! The boy of my dreams! Let me go, right now!”
Needless to say, you struggled the whole way to the potions classroom. And a lot of people gave you, Yeri and Jungwoo weird looks. But none of you cared, Yeri and Jungwoo needed you cured.
As soon as you entered the classroom, Jungwoo sat you down in one of the chairs and you growled.
“What the hell is your problem? Can I go back to Youngtaek? He was gonna take me on a date to Hogsmeade.” Hongjoong balled his fists and was ready to go find him, but Mingi stopped him.
“Let’s cure your s/o first, okay?” Hongjoong just nodded.
Mingi walked over to you, holding the antidote, but you didn’t know that. It just looked like regular juice to you. “You can go to your loverboy if you drink this, you look… Uh, dehydrated. Yeah.”
“Whatever.” You took the cup and swallowed its contents.
Suddenly, you felt like you could properly breathe for the first time in twenty-four hours. You felt dizzy and refreshed all at once.
“What- was that?”
Mingi squatted down in front of you. “Youngtaek gave you Amortentia and you were, well, in love with him for a whole day.” You nearly gagged in response, but then it hit you.
You were “in love” with Youngtaek for the past twenty -four hours. Your eyes went wide and tears formed. “Where’s Joong?” You croaked out.
“I’m here…” He said and walked over to you.
Tears spilled from your eyes and you looked away from him. “’I’m so sorry, Hongjoong. I didn’t know he poisoned me. I-I-…” You stopped talking and just cried. He sat down where Mingi sat, and started rubbing soothing circles into your thighs. “Look at me, love. You didn’t know, and you couldn’t prevent this from happening. It’s fine. I still love you.”
You threw yourself onto Hongjoong and sobbed into his shoulder. “I love you too, so much. Don’t ever doubt that.”
You all eventually left the potions class and walked over to (your house’s) common room. Youngtaek was still sitting there and when he heard people enter he turned around and saw you. “Hey, babe.” He smirked. You just smiled at him and walked over to him. He stood up and stood in front of you, he noticed you didn’t look as sick anymore and panic set in. Before he could say anything, you slapped him in the face. “Don’t ever pull this shit again.”
That night, you slept over in Hongjoong’s room and you cuddled all night, whispering sweet nothing’s to each other and giggling.
Mingi and some other gryffindor boys didn’t get much sleep that night, but at least they were happy that their best chaser had his person back.
#ateez#ateez imagine#ateez x reader#ateez x you#ateez hogwarts au#ateez au#ateez hp au#ateez seonghwa#ateez hongjoong#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong imagine#hongjoong x you#hongjoong au
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Nobody is going to see this. Had a dream. I cannot tell anyone about it so ... I'm going to write about it here.
We were returning from somewhere we had partied. I was on my own. I had friends T&T but they were obviously very invested in themselves. B was there with A and a lot of others. He was drunk. He couldn't even walk straight.
(A little backstory. He had been crushing on y/n for the longest time, y/n liked him too to a but there were a lot of issues that stopped her from dating him. He is a nice guy. Sweet , the type who wears glasses. )
(Y/n is in a relationship with D. He's perfect. The kind your parents will approve. Doesn't drink or smoke. Is polite, really really good at academics. Gives everything he has to protect y/n and keep her happy. Tries really hard to keep her entertained. Y/n likes him too. How can she not? They've been dating for 2 years now. Y/n slipped once with B. She was heavily intoxicated then and the mood in the sleeper bus triggered her feelings for B and nothing else mattered. Although this happened when y/n and D were 3 months into their relationship.)
Her eyes met B's eyes. She couldn't even look at him. She felt guilty, like she wronged him as well as D. She knew if something were to be initiated by B, she'll probably give in.
(She had this whole strong exterior she showed people but really that was just a front for how weak she was when tempted.)
B's arm lightly brushed against y/n's thigh while moving towards the back end of the bus. She felt a strange feeling but decided not to acknowledge it. T1 saw how flushed y/n's face was. (He had taken a lot of efforts in the past 3 years to get B and y/n to date. He was the fiercest shipper y/n and B ever had. But B was too polite to use T1's extravagant ways to ask y/n out. He didn't want to put y/n in a position where she'd look bad for not accepting his "proposal". You see why y/n would be attracted to him.)
T1 had already put a scheme in motion to get y/n and B to interact with each other. T1 was a natural leader so it wasn't hard for him to implement his play. He curated pairs to exit the bus for a smoother transfer from one bus to the other. At this point y/n had downed 360ml of vodka. She had lost her inhibitions and was enjoying her ride with nothing but music and the scenic view on her mind.
She was informed about this decision and had no other option but to abide by it. Some part of her was thrilled to have to interact with B. But some part of her knew it was wrong on so many levels. B made his way to the front of the Bus and sat on the platform opposite to y/ns seat. He was drunk out of his mind, so was she. He took her hands in his and just looked at her for a while. It didn't take long for him to jump from that stare of admiration to a hug filled with warmth. Y/n hesitated at first but gave in once he stretched his arms out to slightly pull her off the seat and get a hold of her waist to pull her in closer to his body. He rested his head on her chest. Her heart was beating faster than usual for a while but stabilized once she was comfortable in his embrace. She felt loved. She felt like she could melt in his arms and it wouldn't be an issue.
T1 had a satisfied grin on his face.
B kissed y/n on her cheek. He held her like there was no tomorrow. He didn't know when he'll get to hold her like this again. He knew she belonged to someone else. Someone he has already wronged before. But she just meant so much to him. It was hard to let go. He had never felt this way about anyone.
---skip---
They alighted the bus. D was waiting to meet y/n. His y/n. His face instantly dropped when he saw who was not very far behind her. B. B and D disliked each other for obvious reasons but they were adults and knew it would be inappropriate to greet each other. They shook hands and greeted eachother and with that B left the scene. D was disappointed. Very disappointed and hurt. He had recieved a couple photos anonymously which he didn't open. He did now. In front of y/n. He saw them. Hugging eachother. B kissing y/n on the cheek. Y/n not protesting. Now although this wasn't cheating, he still knew how they felt about each other. He simply left. Y/n cried and begged for him to stop and to let her explain her self. He didn't budge. He just said, " I forgave you th first timw but this... its just not fair to me. I don't like how it feels".
With that he made his way into the elevator. Y/n was sobbing. She knew she fucked up. Big time. But she didn't know how could she make it better. So she decided to go to her room and just forget about it. She made her way to the elevator to the fourth floor and in her room. She locked the door and made her way to the bathroom sitting in the shower contemplating what she should do. D was the one and B isn't a back up option. She decided she was too much of a coward to face this situation, so she left. She moved out and shifted to another city ? (I'm not sure what happened in this part. I don't really remember.) She deleted her social media, changed her no. All that. It wasn't difficult for her to make new friends.
(this was a dream I had, so this next part doesn't make sense at all. Im not sure why did I dream of this)
She found herself living in a castle? The castle was huge with decor from all her favourite places from different eras , right from the Egyptian pyramids to the interior of palace of Versailles. She found herself in a maids costume(???) She enjoyed this place thoroughly but had to serve the king in order to survive. The king was an ugly lazy fellow who treated her like shit. But she was ok with it because when she wasn't serving the king she was dreaming of what her life would've been like as a Pharoah or Marie Antoinettes friend.
She tried to seduce her way into the kings heart to get more benefits but instead only got abused physically. He was clearly not impressed with her sexual prowess.
Moral : She learnt she is probably never gonna get what she wanted in life, so she has to be satisfied with what she has.
Ps: if anyone could please explain what this entire dream means , it would be great. I'm very confused. And I really cannot talk to anyone about it.
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Girls Night
Steve x reader
W.c: 1640+
“Fuck guys!” Wanda yelled at the top of her lungs as she took another swing at the very expensive bottle of tequila .
“Fuck heartbreaks!” A very drunk redhead creid.
“Fuck penises!” You followed your best friends.
Three of you then turned to Pepper waiting for her to yell something but what could she yell at since she was in a happy marriage with Tony.
“Fuck…” But she couldn’t think of any “...boyfriends..?”
And the three of you cheered at her response followed by the chanting of what she had said. The four of you continued to cheer at what the other had said while singing at the top of your lungs, singing was used very loosely, and dancing around.
“You coulda had a bad bitch non-committal, help you with your career just a little!” The four of danced and sang at the top of your lungs and continued to sing about how men aint shit.
“What’s going on with the girls?” Sam asked as he entered the training room.
“I think Nat had a bad date so there supporting her.” Tony answered from the boxing ring.
“Isn’t Pepper married?”
“And Wanda with Vision.”
“And Y/n is single.”
“I think they’re all single tonight, by what there saying.” Clint shrugged,”You know those girls will always anything for eachother.”
“But do they have to be so damn loud.” Bucky grumbled “She went out on that date yesterday night.”
“They started with wine last night.” Steve stated which only caused the rest of the team to look at him wired. “You guys didn’t see the wine bottles in the garbage can?” He tried to play it off, he can’t let out his secret.
“Then it went to brunch this morning, some light shopping which combined I think they spent around fifty thousand dollars.” Clint shrugged like it was nothing.
Which caused Bucky and Steve to choke on there on saliva.
“What?” They both yelled at the same time, still not getting use to spending too much money in just one day, considering that fifty hundred dollars back in the ‘40’s it was close to a little over half a million dollars in today's currency.
“I think you guys forget that Y/n is loaded as well, why do you think she has the best wing.” Tony leaned against one of the ring post.
“But that’s so much money.” Bucky gasped.
“They have expensive taste, especially Y/n, I wouldn’t be surprised if more then half that tab is her’s. The guy that ends up with her is one lucky basterd.” Tony laughed and Steve snorted.
“But why does she live here?” The long hair blue eyed man asked.
“She doesn’t want to live alone, she spent most of her life alone she doesn’t want that anymore.” Clint explained, which to Bucky nodded understanding were you were coming from.
-
“Guys shut up!” You giggled, trying to get them to shut up but you were just as loud at them.
“Ooh Y/n likes Steve!” The now three extremely drunk friends shrieked, teasing you.
“What no I don’t!” Your voice got extremely higher than what you anticipated.
“You like the stars spangled man, the man with the plan.” Pepper got up on the bed and did a hero pose, with her fist on her hips and her chest puffed out.
“So what you like Tony!” You yelled not realizing what you were saying.
“Ooh Pepper like Tony!” Now the three of you teased her.
“What no I don’t.” The strawberry blonde giggled,playing with her hair.“Wait, I Am married to him.” She threw her head back crackling like it was the funniest thing she ever heard.
“I want to be married.” Your eyes filled with tears.
“You will marry Y/n, marry Captain america.” Wanda giggled at her funny ‘joke’.
“It’s okay Y/n.” Nat pulled you in between her legs and into her arms. “We will all find happiness one day.” She kissed you cheek.
“I love you Nat!” You cried harder as you threw your hands over her shoulders pulling her in. “And that guy is so stupid for not wanting a badass like you.”
“I love you too.” She cried into your shoulder.
“And I love you Pepper.” Wanda weeped as she brought brought her into her arms.
“I love you too Wanda.” Pepper sobbed into her shoulder.
And what seemed like a hour the four of you were done crying and now fast asleep on your humongous bed in which the four of you fit easily.
“I dont think I’m ever going to drink again.” Pepper said from the bathroom as she finish washing her teeth after throwing up.
“Pepper shut up.” Nat groaned as she shoved her head deeper into the pillow.
“Pepper move!” Wanda shoved her out of the way and soon her head was in the toilet.
Nat sighed knowing that she wasn't going to be able to sleep once more. “Where the hell is my bra?” She scratched her head.
“When did you take of your bra?” You questioned her after stepping out of the shower with a towel wrapped around your body, chuckling at Wanda as she laid on the bathroom floor.
“I don’t know.” She dragged herself out of the bed and into your shower.
“I’m going to go shower, I’ll see you guys down in twenty.” Pepper yelled as shut the door behind her.
After Wanda and Nat showered and borrowed some of your clothe which was just pair of legging and some band t’s, after Nat still hadn’t found her bra she just decided to borrow a sports bra instead ,and you guys were good to go for breakfast, at one in the afternoon. Were the boys waited for your arrival.
“Afternoon ladies.” Steve eyed the four of you as you walked into the kitchen, his eyes stayed on you the longest.
“Hi Stevie.” Without thinking you made your way into his arms and kissed his lips. “I missed you last night.” You leaned into his chest.
“Uh guys?” Tony’s voice broke you out of trace,causing your body to stiffen not even realizing Steve body was stiff not saying anything.
“Oh no.” You whispered and stepped away from Steve.
“Oh yes!” Wanda yelled.
“What the hell is this?” Sam yelled in excitement.
“What the hell are you!” Steve yelled back, causing Tony to wheeze and press his face into Peppers back, who was sitting on his lap.
“What?” Sam questioned.
“I don’t know.” Steve mumbled and played with his hands.
“Since when was this a thing?” Nat smiled at the two of you.
“Like three months.” You mumbled as you itched closer to him, god you felt like you were a pair of teenagers begin caught by your parents.
“Why didn’t you guys tell us?” Wanda whined, as she fixed her self a plate of pancakes eggs and some greasy bacon and a big cup of coffee from that amazing machine that you bought for the team. “God I love these chefs.” She digged into her plate.
“ We just thought it would be to soon, and we thought it would be best in case we broke up. We didn’t want to make it awkward.” You sighed. “Wait why aren’t you shocked Bucky?”
“Steve told me.” He shrugged like it was nothing.
“You told him, we had a agreement!” You gasped and hit Steve on the shoulder, which only caused you gasp in pain and you quickly grabbed your hand and held it tight to your chest .
Steve let out a laugh and explained “He caught me doing a walk of shame, doll.” he brought you back into his chest.
“Steve Rogers, doing the walk of shame who would of thought.” Tony joked, and got up to fix his very hungover wife a plate.
“Oh trust me I have no shame.” He pulled you into a deep kiss.
“See Y/n I guess you will marry the star spangled man after all.” Nat smirked from behind her coffee cup.
“Nat, we just started to date.” You shoved your head into his chest, but Steve already knew he was going to marry you the day he saw first saw you.
-
“Sam, I swear I’m going to rip you a new if don’t start to punch like you mean it!” You yelled at the your tall broad friend,your back was facing Steve who was leaning against the door, smirking as you talked to one of best friends.
“I don’t think your going to be able to handle, all of this.” He motioned down to his body.
You threw your head back in glee. “Oh Sammy, stop your going to make me cry.” You clapped your hands together.
He took this as his advantage and charged your way but you were quicker than him , ducking his right and left punch, jumping and swing yourself onto his shoulder straddling him with your thighs, his hand reached to grab a hold of your shirt to flip you over but with a swift move you swung yourself along with him onto the floor, landing on your feet with one foot on his chest.
“If I didn’t like you so much you’d be dead,Sammy.” You offered him a hand to help him on his feet and turned around to realize you had company, your face lit up with joy to see who it was. “Mr.Rogers, pleasure to finally meet you.” You made your way to him and extended your hand.
“Pleasures all mine, and please call me Steve.” He took a hold of your hand not letting go. “Pleasures all mine.” Steve mumbled.
“So ‘am going to kick your ass,like I did your friend.” You nodded over to Sam.
“I’d like to see you try.” He smirked “I’ll buy you dinner if you can actually beat me.” Steve still had a smirk on his face.
“You got a deal Cap.”
#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#steve x you#steve x reader#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers one shot#steve imagine#steve oneshot#captain america x reader#cap x reader#captain america one shot#captain america x you#captain america imagine#marvel oneshot#marvel imagine#imagine#oneshot#avengers one shot#avenges x reader#avengers imagine#captain america
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Problematic Children
Present Day**
Everyone of the boys witnessing it were all frozen in place, scared that the second one of them tried to intervene it would get worse. In the middle of NCT 127′s dorm room were Haechan and Mark, the latter clenching his fists tightly alongside his jaw. Haechan’s bottom lip was shivering, his eyes threatening to spill the tears of frustration. Huannie the middle ‘man’ of all of their arguments wasn’t there due to not wanting the 12 boys to starve that day and had taken Jisung and Chenle with her.
Taeil and Taeyong were hesitant on whether on not they were to intervene or let them go at eachother again.
Instead the door slammed and it was Huannie to diffuse the situation yet again. She barged in between the two with her eyes cold and eyebrows frowning again.
“I leave for twenty minutes and you’re at eachothers throats again?” She asked clearly irratated. For a moment the dorm were silent.
-----
***Three Hours ago**
It was no lie that the camera noticed everything. As NCT Dream walked onto the showcase stage and got into their places dressed in their cute sailor boy outfit. Huannie could be seen next to the main camera filming the boys with a murderuous glare on her face as she watched Haechan get bothered by Mark calling him out for something and Haechan retorting something, making the mood on the stage all wrong. Jisung and Chenle looked to Huannie who was currently wishing she could jump up on the stage and bang both of their heads together, hopefully giving them some more common sense. She caught Marks eyes making a harsh motion to her neck telling him he’s done.
They got into their places with Huannie giving an agressive smile on her face at them to tell them. “Put a fucking smile on your faces before I kill you all.” It was a clear message since both of the boys gulped nervously and forced the smile on their faces.
The performance was going fine until Haechan mislanded his transition and ended barging into Mark who replied by giving him a death glare, to that Huannie stormed off and waited for the performance to finish. At this point was where any fucks Huannie gave flew out of the window.
As the boys all sat in the car in silence waiting for the manager and their Noona they were all looking towards eachother wondering where she went.
“The hell were you two doing up there?” She piled into the van with the manager, her hands on her hips and a stern glare on her face.
“He started it by calling me out for nothing. I wasn’t even in the wrong place Noona I-” Haechan tried defending himself.
“No you were being an idiot and didn’t listen to the direction the stage manager gave you and-”
“I don’t give a diddly darn fuck who started it or who’s fault it was.” She fumed back, she knew what happened and she wasn’t impressed by both boys.
“Huannie, die down the language.” The manager tried to quieten down.
“I’ll stop the language when these two stop acting immature and act like professionals. People don’t come to watch you to see the two of you bicker aimlessly- Now both of you better be quiet until we get home.”
***Present time***
And here they were.
“You may think that in the NCT 127 dorms with all of the older members that you can get away with your screaming matches because they don’t want to scold you. Let me tell you something, i’m not scared of scolding you two because i’m sick of it all!”
“Huannie that’s enough!” Taeil added in placing a calm and gentle hand on the womans shoulder to diffuse her anger before it blew up.
“No, you don’t know what it’s like in the Dreamies dorm. Jisung cried every night because he thinks they won’t make up and will continue shouting at eachother. You don’t have Chenle and Jaemin calling you every hour crying, because they think the managers will disband them all!” It was a known fact that Huannie had gone to live in the Dreamies dorm for the month they had been arguing. The older members were at a loss for words.
“Renjun and Jeno come and sleep in my room because they don’t want to witness them arguing all the god damn time. But you two wouldn’t know that would you, because for the last month you’ve been so selfish.”
“Huan-” Jaehyun muttered, observing the two boys undergoing Huannie’s brutal scolding. He must admit, the Chinese girl was like a dissapointed mother at this point.
Haechan’s body was undergoing heavy treamors as he tried to conceal his sobs, he had his head lowered to the floor in shame with his hands tightly behind his back. Mark wasn’t any better either, his eyes puffy and he wasn’t hiding his cries. They couldn’t bear meet her firery eyes.
“I sit with Jisung everytime as he cries himself to sleep everynight because he misses his friends. I have to rock Chenle to sleep because his anxiety makes him feel like it was his fault. I have to make Jeno and Renjun come and deal with you two because i’m trying to mend your damage. And poor Jaemin walked straight into your confusing fucking arguments. I end up having five boys in my bed trying to muffle out your screaming. It’s breaking me I can’t do it anymore.” She ended up crying at the two boys. “I have Haechan coming to me crying because you’re stressed because of all of the units, and you decide to use him as a punching bag. And I have to be Mark’s venting machine because you’re being petty and won’t let things go. I physically can’t cope with you two being problematic!”
“Huannie that’s enough now they get the point.” Ten spoke quietly gripping her arm and pulled her towards him. Eventually Huannie began to simmer down noticing the states the two boys were in.
Her heart was broken, it washed over her like it had ounched her in the face. Each tear was a knife to her heart and sent pain through her chest. How she longed to take back her harsh truth and speak softer, but it had been said now. There was nothing she could do but hope she could fix it.
“I’m sorry Noona.” Heachan finally let his sobs be heard as he headed rapidly towards his room and slamming the door behind him. She looked to Jaehyun and motioned to the door with pleading eyes, he nodded softly and slipped inside the room to attempt to calm the hysterical boy.
However Mark dared to look his Noona in the eye. “I’m sorry Noona, I didn’t mean to take it out on all of you.” Mark shook, “I’m just tired. I’m so sorry to all of you really sorry.”
“Hey, it’s okay. But you need to learn not to take it out, talk it out Markie. We will all listen to you. Come here kid.” She smiled opening her arms, the younger boy quickly placed himself within them, savouring the loving moment. Before saying he needed to take a walk, Taeil walking behind him to keep him some company.
She turned to the rest of the boys that were still shook. “You can scold me later Oppa, I need to check in on him.” She sighed at Ten who looked ready to argue with her himself.
“Go easy on him Noona.” Chenle voiced up for the first time since they got back, the older girl kissed his cheek only to get stopped by Taeyong.
“Thank you for looking after them all. I know it’s hard for you to keep up these days.”
“Hey i’m a Noona, it’s my job.” She winked before sliding into Haechan’s room.
---
When Huannie got into the room Jaehyun was hugging the boy who was awkwardly sobbing into his shoulder, the older boy rubbing circles on his back trying to calm him down.
“Jae, can I have a moment with Haechannie please?” She asked as the older boy nodded and left the room.
Huannie immediately walked over to the boy and brought him into a tight hug. All of Haechan’s emotions were let out into Huannie’s neck, she sushed him until he’d calm down.
“Shhh.. it’s okay Sunshine. Everything is okay.” Haechan gripped Huannie’s baggy hoodie, aka Taeil’s, and refused to let go of the fabric.
“Are you still angry Noona?” He whispered between sniffles. Huannie shook her head. “Why ... not?”
“Because you’re still a teenager, you were bound to loose your temper at some point baby. I’m always here when you need to talk Haechannie. I made a promise to keep you happy.”
Haechan’s somewhat dry eyes had began tearing up from the love from his Noona. She began to play with his hair until he fell asleep tucked into her side.
When the door creaked open revealing Mark she didn’t question him she just opened her left arm to give him the otherside gesturing him over.
“I’m sorry Huannie.” He whispered into her shoulder. “I’m surprised you even let me in.”
“I’m not gonna lie to you, I was ready to smack you and Haechannie up the head. How could I hurt my foreign swagger Markie poo.”
“Noona, I thought you wouldn’t do that.” He groaned hiding under her duvet cover.
“How about a day out, just us three tomorrow?”
“Sound good.”
“Be there or be square kid.”
“I hate you Noona!”
#19th member of nct#nct127#nctdream#kpop imagines#haechan imagines#mark imagines#markhyuck#Jaehyun#Kun#Ten#Jaemin#Chenle#Jeno#Renjun#WinWin
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Everythinggoes
You weren't exactly an insomniac you did require sleep but not as much as the others, borderline insomniac you called it. But every time you had a steamy night with Namjoon, your boyfriend, that sent you right across the bed asleep for 6-7 straight hours almost twice as your normal sleeping schedule.
Namjoon, the epitome of caring, trustworthy, passionate, beautiful inside out and so much more, was your best friend growing up. Both of you were polar opposites, if they tell you to not open the Pandora's box Namjoon would question why but you'd be already opening and regretting it. Always head first into any situation never thinking through things, you needed Namjoon, no you more than needed Namjoon and he was right there by your side laughing at or sometimes with your crazy antics, a shoulder to cry upon whenever you had a break up (just once) or whenever you saw a sad movie (it was often the other way around too). You couldn't imagine staying apart from Namjoon, at all. You were always going to be a part of his life or at least that was the plan for the long haul. You both were always stuck together no matter where you guys were, same school same classes though sometimes it was hard to keep you with Namjoon's brilliance you took the extra effort to make sure you and Namjoon were always together. Underground rapping is something you enjoyed more than Namjoon himself, one might say. You both always showed up for the rap battles being eachother's loudest cheer, you didn't rap that much freestyle wasn't your cup of tea but you did spit some fire when insulting in the name of rapping came up.
The BigHit auditions took place and much to your dismay Namjoon took part. You knew he was going to get recruited as a trainee but you didn't want him to move away from home it was a selfish thing to do, you were ready to even sabotage his audition but realized how stupid you were being and kept quiet.
Obviously you went with him to his auditions and you stayed by his side reassuring him for the nth time that he'd get in but he just got anxious, even more after performing for the judges. You both were seated side by side at the very back of the hall, with his nervous shaky hands he tried to stop his legs from jiggling but it didn't help.
"Namjoon for fucks sake stop you're going to get in you're gonna move away from home and into the dorms and you'll debut so please stop!" You snapped making him look at you but your eyes stayed forward.
"But what if I don't?" He questioned after a few seconds. You looked at him ready to reassure him again that he would be just fine but his eyes, he looked terrified as if this audition were a matter of his life and death.
"Joonie..." You sighed softly, "I have a feeling you'll get in. You said so yourself you didn't mess up the words you were cool and you certainly look like a rapper." You said pointing to his attire. "You look better than all of them here too, handsome so just breathe."
"Yeah... You're right I'll get selected because if not I'm gonna have to answer my mom I'll probably be grounded for even like coming here to the auditio-" He was cut off by your kiss, you weren't having any of his nervous ramblings so you pulled him by his collar and kissed him. He was shook, of course and it took a few seconds for him to realise what was going on and he pulled away
"... What was that?" He asked.
"A kiss... Look." You took a deep breath "You wouldn't shut up I had to do something."
"Yeah so you kiss me?" Namjoon looked a bit mad, so far this was the most stupidest thing you've ever done.
Before you could conjure up an excuse in your head a guy with a mic announced the results had been posted on the board and Namjoon was a nervous wreck again, he held your hand so tightly but you pushed the pain down and instead you made him walk to where it was posted. His name was there, of course it was, Namjoon let out a sound between a mix of a sob and a sigh and hugged you, well he threw himself on you which made you lose balance and fall down because you weren't exactly strong. His face was mushed against your breasts and to say it was awkward was an understatement.
Namjoon apologized a million times as he balanced himself on his hands lifting his weight off of you. You groaned in pain and as you were about to start cursing him he closed your mouth with one of his hands. You gave him a murderous glare asking him to take off his hand from you mouth.
"Do not swear in here." He warned and after you nodded he took off his hand and got up, he immediately reached out his hand for you to take and you stood up with his help.
"OH MY GOD YOU GOT IN!" You yelled and hugged him, he chuckled at your excitement and hugged you back tightly. You pulled away from the hug and smiled at him, it didn't sit well with you that he'd be moving but you decided that for now you'd just be happy for him. You treated him to his favourite restaurant emptying what was left of your little allowance but the look on his face was worth it all. Him being the gentleman he is tried to pay back but you were too stubborn he gave up at the end.
You two were on your couch watching some game show deciding to worry about packing the next day.
"About that kiss..." Namjoon started making you stiffen a little you hadn't exactly planned that, hell you weren't even sure why you did that, but you knew where it came from.
"Why did you kiss me?" He asked.
"Honestly I don't know... But it shut you up so your welcome." You joked at the end focusing back on the TV.
"You're a good kisser all things considered." He reached out his hand for the popcorn bowl but you pulled it to your side.
"Uh sorry what? All things considered?" You made sure to sound offended because you were.
"I didn't mean it like that." He shook his head. "You know... we're best friends I meant those things. The kiss was good."
You knew Namjoon your whole life, you knew he was upto something by the way his eyes wandered around not really looking at you, how his hands got a little bit sweaty.
"Joonie..." You warned.
"Don't make up stuff in your head pabo." He said chuckling nervously and stuffed his mouth with popcorn. You both knew exactly where this conversation was heading, it wasn't the first time but before you hadn't kissed him like an idiot.
"I'm not I don't know what your talking about." You said quickly and went back to watching the show, which both of you lost track of.
"Rey... Look at me." Namjoon sounded serious.
"Before you say some shit intellectually we both decided that feelings and emotions ruin things and you're moving places so let's not have this talk."
"We both didn't decide that, you decided it for us and walked away like you always do. Ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away."
"Well you're the one going away now not me." You stood up trying to walk away to your room but Namjoon pulled your hand making you sit down again.
"Exactly I'm going away so can we please sort this shit? Because we keep distracting each other till we run out of things to say and you just walk away when things get serious."
You took a deep breath knowing this time you won't be able to ignore the situation, you liked Namjoon you've always liked Namjoon, you didn't realise that until your ex-boyfriend had pointed it out to you, of course you called him a jealous monster and walked out (yet again) but after crying about it for a few days you realised it yourself. You never told Namjoon of course but that man had a way of knowing everything. You weren't surprised when he tried to confront the matter to you, you had simply denied and walked away.
"Do you like me?" He asked, there was no escaping anymore. You could lie and get away with it but there's just one tiny problem you can't lie to Namjoon and your mom even if you do they always figure it out.
"Yeah...I guess so, I don't know. Do you?" You said all too quickly making Namjoon smile in amusement because out of the 2 of you, you were never flustered and nervous, like ever.
"Want me to be honest with you?" He asked trying not to laugh seeing you fidget. You nodded looking at him.
"I've never thought of you that way like at all." You stood up from the couch not wanting to hear anything from him anymore but Namjoon grabbed your wrist. "You never let me finish pabo." You sat back down and pulled the bowl of popcorn on your lap eating, waiting for the bad news.
"I can try... I've never thought of you that way but I can try, I want to try." Namjoon said sounding honest and sincere. You couldn't resist the big smile that adorned your face which made Namjoon chuckle, he pulls you closer making your head rest on his torso, your hands automatically went around his torso embracing his warmth. Everything wasn't so bad after all.
Being in a relationship was good, being in a relationship with your best friend was the best but being in a relationship with Kim Namjoon was freaking amazing but it wasn't always like that, obviously. You did have your arguments, fights but you two always pulled through, you and Namjoon had this little belief of your own: "It's us two against the problem and not us against eachother."
But as years progressed Namjoon felt more distant, you figured it was because the honeymoon phase of your relationship was over and reality had set in you brushed it off as you being immature and moved along. Six years of being together with Namjoon, two years since Bangtan's debut you've been nothing but proud and supportive of him. He'd call you at ungodly hours because that was the only free time he'd get. You were there for him when he was bashed for being the worst rapper and leader, you were there for him when he won awards, you were there for him always. But was he?
Maybe you knew deep down that it was always going to be like this, you knew being with Namjoon would require you to stay away from him for long periods of time, sometimes even months at a time. You knew Namjoon wasn't just your best friend and boyfriend anymore, he was 1/7th of BTS, an idol, a leader. You weren't bothered by the fact that he had to miss most of your anniversaries and birthdays because you knew he'd be here if he had a way, he'd always make it up to you though, with your favourite food delivered to you and plethora of gifts. Sometimes you'd wish Namjoon was here in person instead of the things he sent but you knew... you knew this was how it was going to be.
You'd call him but he'd be always busy the phone call not lasting more than five minutes so you had to wait for him to call you during his free time which seemed to decrease the more popular BTS got. You became his little secret, the public and fans weren't supposed to know about you because he feared for their reaction. You understood that of course, but it left you alone most of the time.
He wasn't beside your side when you graduated from your dream college, he wasn't there when you didn't get your dream job so you had to settle for less, he wasn't there when you got fired and couldn't afford a nice apartment, he wasn't there when you finally got your life together. The eight years you were together with him seemed too short and you couldn't cope up with him anymore. You needed Namjoon from stopping you from making dumb decisions, you needed his shoulder to cry on, his dimpled smile, his hugs, him.
Namjoon's long fingers caressed your bare arm as you lay beside him, or almost on him, both of you were half naked cuddled up against each other under the fluffy blanket. You had spent the whole weekend together most of it on the bed with Namjoon, cuddling, talking about anything and everything and sometimes getting a bit frisky.
"When do you have to leave?" You hated yourself admist asking this question, you didn't want him to leave, this weekend made you forget all the times you missed him too much when he wasn't around.
"In a few hours, 4 to be exact." He stretched his arms making you groan as your head hit the pillow instead of his warm chest.
"You can't delay the flight?" He was going to Tokyo for his world tour and had managed to get a week off to visit his family and you.
"I can't delay the rehearsal and concert so I can't delay the flight." He shifted so he was facing you, his arms going around your hips as he pulled you closer.
"Can't disappoint the fans." You didn't want to say it sarcastically, it had slipped. You pursed you lips stopping yourself from saying anything further to worsen the situation.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked taken aback slightly by your sudden change in tone.
Maybe if you were successful in pursuing your lips the argument wouldn't have started, but you couldn't hold it in anymore, all the time you were left lonely because his schedule kept him busy came rushing to you making you sad, but you, dumb you always channeled your sadness into anger. You tried to stop yourself from saying all the vile words but you couldn't.
You were both on your feet putting on your clothes still yelling at each other, this was the longest fight you've ever had and you feared it wasn't going to end well for the both of you.
"Namjoon stop. Answer me this." You said calmly not wanting to argue anymore. Namjoon took a deep breath looking down to calm himself and looked at you to continue.
"Do you know where I work? Do you know any of my friend's name from work?" You asked praying hoping he'd answer it.
Namjoon remained silent, he didn't look away he didn't call you ridiculous he just stayed still.
"Joonie..." tears welled up your eyes as you watched him, waiting for him to open his mouth and answer you.
"I can't do this anymore Joonie." You were saying the words your brain didn't want you to say. Namjoon nodded and said nothing else.
"The saddest part is that I still love you even though it leaves me with nothing but you not being there for me. Eight years and I can't..." you couldn't continue anymore you sat down at the edge of your bed weeping and you couldn't stop the tears. Namjoon's first instinct was to hold you, keep you close in his arms till you stopped crying but he stayed in his place. You cried for 10 mins or an hour, you didn't know but your head was aching and there was no more tears to shed. You looked back and Namjoon was sitting at the far end corner of the bed watching you silently.
"You're not Namjoon anymore... you're not just Namjoon you're RM now and I can't love you both and it fucking hurts to hold on." You wiped your face in your shirt and collected yourself, you weren't going to cry anymore, not in front of him anyway.
"I'm really sorry you had to go through all of this... I'm sorry." He finally talked his voice soft and it sounded like nothing more than home to you, but you had to let go.
"I know... we'll always stay as friends even if it's difficult and weird." You knew this was the last time you'd ever be together with Namjoon, this was the end of your relationship of eight years with him.
Namjoon gave you a small smile, he collected his things and with one last kiss to your forehead he walked away.
The saddest part wasn't that you still loved him, no it was the fact that he knew, he knew what was going on with your life, he knew everything yet he remained quiet because he knew that you needed someone who would stay beside you to love you, hold you, to kiss you whenever you wanted and not just the idea of having someone to love you... He let go of you, something that you couldn't do. The one thing he was afraid of was disappointing you, too many cold hugs too many lonely nights, the relationship turned into a speck of dust in the universe.
_______________________________
This is my first ever work of fiction that I've ever posted. I always kept my writing to myself and shared it with not more than 3-4 close friends, so yea... *sighs
There's definitely a lot of grammar errors so please forgive me.
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1 & 16 :0
1. “Please don’t leave me.”
16. “Give me a reason not to turn around and walk away now.”
They were fighting.
Again. It was a screaming match that surely would wake up the neighbors. Every curse word was said, every ounce of energy they had left used to continue the torture. They both wanted to stop but neither of them would take the hit. So they kept going, back and forth, back and forth. Every tiny thing that had ever bothered them coming into play, used as ammunition. Eddie’s voice was hoarse and thin, the words burning his throat as they spilled into the air. He couldn’t even remember what it had been about, something about work and time spent away, he didn’t fucking know anymore.
“You just aren’t listening to me!” Richie hissed, pointing a judging finger in his direction. “All you do is go to class, work and sleep. It’s like I don’t even exist anymore.”
I’m sorry, Eddie wanted to say. I’m so sorry baby. “You are being over dramatic! We went out last week, fucked in that restaurant’s bathroom ! What else do you want from me? Huh, am I just not enough anymore?”
“Always the victim! God, man up!” His words cut Eddie deep, making his blood drip down his chest and onto he carpeted floor. They were both wounded, maybe fatally and still they continued on. “This has nothing to do with your insecure masculinity! It has to do with the shitty way you’ve been treating me!”
“I miss one fucking date! One and you freak out on me!” Eddie ignored his aching bones, his blurry vision and his clenched lungs. Everything hurt, he really wanted to end this and go to bed. “Sue me for trying to make us some more money! It was time and a half, and we are behind on bills! I was being responsible.”
“Oh so now I don’t make enough money? Is that’s what got that stick up your ass” Richie was flustered, his teeth bared and eyes dark. Rarely did he raise his voice, or even indulge in an argument. This was bad, so fucking bad. “I swear to god I don’t even know you anymore!”
“Then why are you still here?” It dripped from his lips like venom, poisoning the air between them. Richie blinked, stepping back as if he had been slapped. Eddie tried to eat the words on his tongue, tried to keep them from coming but they came nonetheless. “Honestly, if I treat you so badly than why do you stay?”
“You’re right.”
Eddie’s blood ran cold, his heart stopping. No, no no that wasn’t what he meant. “I-I’m right?” He stammered, watching in horror as his lover walked towards their bedroom. It was like he was frozen in time, forced to watch as the only person he had ever loved slammed drawers in their shared bedroom. Eddie didn’t know what to expect next, but when Richie left that room with a suitcase in hand the veil broke and everything came crashing down.
“Where are you going?” Eddie whimpered in a voice smaller than his. There was no response, only the noise of Richie’s shoes on the floor as he went to the kitchen and grabbed his keys. Next he strolled to the door, plucking a jacket from the hook and opening the door. Desperation washed over Eddie, his heart cracking. “Hey, wait. Wait for just a second I-”
“You what huh?” Richie sneered, pausing and turning towards his boyfriend. His eyes were dulled and his tone harsh, like he was in some kind of trance. This wasn’t Richie, not really. “What the fuck do you want Eddie!”
“Please don’t leave me.” He cried, tears clumping against his lashes. “I didn’t mean it. I swear. I-I’m sorry.”
Richie didn’t even flinch at the shift in the air, standing there with a puffed chest a determined scowl. “Give me a reason not to turn around and walk away now.” He demanded, his grip tightening on the handle of his suitcase. “I can’t do this anymore, something has to change otherwise I’m done. Done with you, with all of this…just done.”
“I-I-” Eddie teetered on the edge, fearful of the fall that would surely await him if he jumped. Richie waited, staring him down with a scorching glare. “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to fix this I-I can’t-I’m so scared and-you-you-” His throat clenched, the waterfall that streamed down his cheeks tainted the hatred in the air, Words stopped coming, air refused to fill his lungs and he struggled to even stand. Shamefully he covered his face, crumbling into himself completely.
He expected for Richie to just leave, to continue his path out of that door and to never look back. They were not happy, not anymore and there was no reason to keep up the torture. Whatever caused the kink in their relationship, whether it be the money or stress, it had finally won and Eddie accepted it.
Suddenly there were arms around him, pulling him close. At first he fought against it, struggling to break free but the sweet voice that rang in his ears brought him back. “Calm down, it’s okay. I’m right here Eds, please stop crying.” The sobs ripped though him harder, the warmth in his touch and tenderness in his tone igniting the sadness under Eddies skin, making things so much worse.
Eddie clutched onto Richie’s shirt, burying his face into his chest. It smelt of clean laundry and irish spring, of sugar and musk, of home. “I-I’m s-s-sorry.” He whined, his nails digging into his boyfriend’s back. “D-don’t leave m-m-me, I can change. I c-can-I can-” Fingers ran down his spine in a soothing way, creating discourse rather than comfort. “D-don’t g-g-go. I-I’m s-sorry.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Richie breathed into his hair, his grip tightening. “I’m sorry too Eds. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just-please calm down.”
The tension thinned and Eddie could finally breathe, coming down from the high his fit had caused. He waited for Richie to leave, to let him go but still he stayed even after the sobs turned into whimpers and the whimpers turned into nothing. They stood there in eachothers arms for what felt like forever, neither one of them moving away.
When they did separate Eddie felt cold, like a piece had been ripped from his chest. Richie looked down at him and forced a smile, it was broken and weak but it was there. Interlacing their fingers he placed a gentle kiss atop of his boyfriends forehead and muttered. “Let’s go to bed.”
Eddie sighed, “I love you.” There were tears in his lovers eyes, not heated tears like his had been but rather soft and welcoming ones that only came in the wake of a horrendous storm. “I love you more than anything Richie.”
“I love you too. Now let’s go lay down.”
Richie led, and Eddie followed just as they always did.
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