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dandylovesturtles · 6 months

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Sidelined AU Info Post

Alright, I guess we're doing this

CWs: mentions of internalized ableism, struggles with mental health

Timeline:

all of S1 is the same as in canon up until End Game

however, after Splinter turns over the helmet to Draxum, Draxum does not put on the armor, but chooses to put Leo inside instead, realizing that whoever goes in will probably have something horrible happen to them. that's detailed in this fic

unlike Draxum, who gets spit out of the armor immediately, Leo ends up trapped inside. from Leo's perspective, he is only vaguely aware of what's happening outside (it's a bit sunken place-ish, with him seeing snatches of events like through a grainy television), and he has only small amounts of influence over what the armor does

once Feral Shredder is on the loose, he pretty immediately starts destroying the Hidden City. Draxum realizes that he has inadvertently released a great evil on his people, the exact opposite of what he wanted, and he turns to the Hamatos to help him stop it. obviously they don't want to work with Draxum, but they have to get Leo back so they take the help

it takes them two days, during which the Shredder moves up to start terrorizing New York as well, but eventually they get him subdued. I'm not 100% on what goes down yet or whether Big Mama gets involved (I'm leaning toward not), but Leo fighting from the inside is a big help

Leo is removed from the armor and is in really bad physical shape; meanwhile the Shredder is subdued for now. in the immediate aftermath, the Foot Clan manages to get ahold of the Shredder and take off with him

he's too weak to do anything immediately but he is very much a Looming Threat the family is aware of

Draxum leaves for awhile at this point because none of them want him around and seeing Leo in the aftermath did wake him up to "oh yeah that's just a kid and I did that to him," also he's feeling real bad about that whole "accidentally almost destroying the yokai and also maybe the world" thing

meanwhile, Leo is severely weakened, but there's not anything that the family can do to hasten his recovery. they can only get him hooked up to an IV for fluids and nutrients and wait

it takes Leo a few days to become fully lucid again; during that time he tries to fight anyone around him off or sometimes pushes his family away to "protect" them

eventually Leo does regain lucidity, he tells everyone he's fine but he's Super Depressed. he's also lost his mystic powers completely.

Splinter also retreats a bit at this point, because he feels guilt for handing the helmet over to Draxum instead of trying to find a different way to rescue his boys, which isn't a great thing for him to do but his mental health is also not doing very well (someone get these guys some therapy)

in the meantime the bros and April manage the best they can, they all have different approaches but I'll go into detail about that in the next section

there's no treatment for Leo's condition outside the most boring one: time, exercise, and diet. unsurprisingly he hates this

Healing Bad Times abound, as shown in this fic

eventually the boys have to go out on a mission again. Leo, feeling useless, listens in on the comms from the lair, and ends up catching something the other boys' missed, meaning he's able to save them from a trap or something idk exactly what the point is he makes himself useful

this opens up a new path for Leo, one his brothers very heavily encourage

with a new goal in mind, Leo starts taking a lot better care of himself, actually following his physical therapy routine, spending time gaining new skills, and accepting help in the form of mobility aids. his physical and mental health both start making big improvements

this also helps his dad's mental health, everyone is doing better even if things aren't perfect

Donnie builds Leo a command center modeled after the bridge of Jupiter Jim's ship, he absolutely loves it. whenever the boys+April are on missions, Leo is in his command center helping from the background

eventually Leo has gotten to the point where he has enough strength for day to day life most of the time, he still isn't fighting baddies on rooftops but he can get to a store and back without collapsing on a good day and that's pretty good!

the Foot Clan has been a much bigger threat in this version of S2 and it's clear they're up to something big

of course right when Leo is starting to feel stable and happy again, that's when they launch their final attack

a lot of the finale events go down similarly to how they do in canon, minus Battle Nexus New York. they get Karai back but then she dies, Shredder destroys their home (including Leo's command center :c ), everything is Bad

Leo gets his mystic powers back the same way his brothers do, though he needs a little bit of an extra helping nudge from April/Karai, since he didn't think that was a thing he could still do

everyone getting their mystic powers is emotional but it's especially emotional for Leo. he didn't even know what ninpo was before today, but he knew after the Shredder it was like some part of his soul got locked away, and now that he can feel it again he finally feels whole

it gives him a burst of adrenaline so he can participate in the fight, though he doesn't do much of the actual battling, instead getting his bros where they need to be for the big hits (I mean this is basically what he does anyway haha)

it takes Donnie exactly .02 seconds to figure out how to use his own mystic powers to support Leo physically so that helps

after this, Leo becomes a more constant part of the team in the field, though he still primarily works as support and only gets into direct fights when he feels like he has to

instead of being made leader like in canon, Leo and Raph become co-leaders. Leo's own leadership abilities have improved massively, but Raph has more experience in the field, so having the two of them working together means they cover each other's blind spots, and the division of labor is less stressful for both of them

since Leo's already been through his character development and this tension is gone the movie events play out totally differently but I haven't gotten that far yet lol. I'm sure the apocalypse still happens somehow, though, I'd hate to lose Casey Jr

happy ending whooo

Relationships

Raph

Raph feels a lot of guilt about what happened to Leo; he was supposed to protect his little brothers and he didn't, and now one of them has permanent physical disabilities as a result. add to that it was Raph's idea to be heroes in the first place and yeah... he's not doing great

because of this guilt, Raph's instinct is to essentially baby Leo - he wants to take care of his every need as soon as it arises. this makes Leo feel stifled and infantilized, and drives a wedge in their relationship (the same one Raph is driving between himself and Mikey, in fact)

his and Donnie's distinctly different approaches to the situation also mean that they get into arguments often and can't really deal with being around each other, leaving Raph feeling isolated at the start (and thus pouring more attention and effort into Leo, which compounds the problem)

Raph dealing with his own guilt and trying to find the balance between helping Leo while also respecting his need for independence, boundaries, and dignity is a big part of his journey in the AU, and it also improves his relationship with Mikey and Donnie as he gets better at those skills

Donnie

Donnie is not dealing well with the fact that there's nothing to fix. they can only be patient and work incrementally to improve Leo's condition

he distracts himself by putting all his energy into making the lair accessible for Leo, building him mobility aids and doing everything he can to help

he also has a hard time understanding why Leo won't do the things that will help him (at first), because doesn't he just want things to go back to normal? doesn't he want to help himself? why won't he just do what he obviously has to do, Donnie does not understand

Leo is deep in denial at first, and he feels like he breaks down and starts doing physical therapy and using mobility aids and doing basically any of the things that will help him, that means it's not going to magically get better, it's going to take time and effort and it will probably never be fixed, just improved, and he hates that so much he's choosing to treat this like a temporary cold or flu that will blow over any day now

Donnie doesn't understand that so he takes Leo's refusal as a rejection and animosity abounds!

breakdowns and admissions of feelings will eventually happen

Donnie and Leo together come to grips with the idea that there is no fixing this and there is no return to how things were before but they can work toward a new normal that's just as good

Mikey

this one is a little bit too big for Dr. Delicate Touch and Dr. Feelings

Mikey tries, but he is just a kid, and with their dad emotionally retreating too there's just too many feelings for him to deal with on his own

he's gonna play family therapist until he breaks

he's frustrated because he can see what each of his brothers need to do to feel better but they just! won't! they won't do it, and he doesn't know how to make them

he's really stressed

it's Mikey that realizes that Leo needs goals to work toward to get himself motivated to take care of himself, and it's Mikey who pushes the hardest for Leo's new role in the team

sometimes Mikey will challenge Leo to something silly, like who can make the most throws of a paper ball into a trash can, just to push Leo into exercising

he finds other little ways to help the others too, but he still can't solve the big problems on his own

meltdown ensues

Mikey has to learn to take care of himself, too, while the others have to learn they can't lean so hard on him for all their emotional problems

April

the only one holding on around here. it helps that she doesn't actually have to live in the powderkeg

takes a rationally minded approach to all these problems, kind of functioning like family therapist along with Mikey but in a healthier and more controlled way

helps get them resources from above ground

Leo opens up the most about his feelings about his physical condition to her first, because she strikes the best balance between being a sympathetic ear without coddling him

she's also stressed, but she has an outside support network so she's handling it better

Splinter

fully blames himself for what happened to Leo and has a hard time getting over it

depression in full swing

it means he can't easily get out of bed to help his kids, but then he feels bad because he isn't helping them, which worsens the depression, which makes it hard to get out of bed... a vicious cycle

when Leo starts working on his condition he gets a pact out of his dad that they will both work on being healthier together

maybe they manage to find an actual therapist eventually idk lol

either way, Splinter and Leo grumpily sitting over their plate of broccoli and then Leo says "bet I can eat more pieces than you" and it's on son

he's trying his best

Leo's Condition

Leo came out of the armor severely dehydrated and malnourished, even more so than any person should realistically be after two days; just keeping him from dying of the dehydration was the most immediate struggle

the main issue is that Leo's life force, mystic abilities included, were basically sucked out, leaving his body catastrophically physically weak

his muscle mass can come back with time and diet

the bigger problems are the bone density and chronic fatigue. while Leo can improve these, they'll never be back to where they were before the Dark Armor

his reduced bone density means he has to be careful doing anything physical because the chance he can break a bone is much higher than average, and he stands to suffer more from that break than the average person

he'll eventually get to where he can go through his day-to-day life just fine most days, and can even do some of the physical things he enjoyed before, he just has to be careful and know his limits. he'll never be pulling the 1440 off the halfpipe again, but he can still skateboard as long as he's careful.

even when recovered (as much as he can be), he has bad days and days when the fatigue is really strong. how Leo feels on a bad day is up in the air; sometimes he's at peace with it and generally cheerful, happy to be around his family even if he spends most of the time in his chair or on the couch dozing in and out. other days the depression rears its ugly head and he can get a bit nasty and bitter again. his family is much more patient with him on days like that than he is with himself.

in the beginning Leo also has brain fog and sensitivity to light and sound. these clear up over time, especially once Leo starts making more effort to exercise his brain. he starts reading a lot more and doing puzzles, especially things like sudoku and word puzzles, which helps a lot. thankfully these changes aren't permanent

his inner ears were also damaged a bit, this also heals up largely on its own, sometimes he still has difficulties hearing his brothers if they're whispering or far away but it's not so bad he needs assistance

Leo's Devices

Wheelchair

this is obviously the one Donnie had the most fun building and it shows. this baby is tricked out. Leo also likes to suggest improvements often, some for actual functionality but many just because he thinks it would be cool (like neon lights on the spokes)

it is blue obviously. do you even need me to tell you that?

it's fully electronic but Leo can also wheel it around freely if he wishes. Leo likes to wheel himself when he has the energy because it's good exercise he doesn't have to go out of his way for and he just likes feeling like he's moving himself under his own power. but when he's not feeling up to it he just drives it with the electronic controls instead

it has handles that extend and retract. being allowed to touch the handles is a major sign of Leo's trust and initially it's only for his bros + April + Splinter. Leo hates being moved when he doesn't actually ask to be moved, and he also hates being tipped backwards so his fam knows not to do it even as a joke (and it's so heavy that tipping him is kind of hard, anyway). someone touching the handles or messing around with them without permission gets you immediate backlash from protective siblings

that said Leo has them extended often so he can hang things off them, even though Donnie constantly gripes that that is not their intended purpose!

Sr Hueso is another person who gets handle-touching-privileges pretty fast, and he's also the one Leo asks to move him most often because he thinks it's really funny. he hams it up every time. Hueso is exasperated but does it anyway

(if Hueso adds a few extra wheelchair-accessible tables to Run of the Mill no one has to know)

the chair can also be moved by S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. this is mostly just for emergency situations, or times when the chair is somewhere Leo is not. Shelldon is a very good boy who does not move the chair without Leo's permission.

it has a billion storage spaces and little hidey holes and it can sync with Leo's phone to play music and it also has a charge port for his phone and yeah basically anything Leo and Donnie can come up with goes into this thing. it's a behemoth

Donnie also made Leo a lighter-weight chair with fewer features that he most often uses when he's good using his walker/cane/braces but wants to clear a larger distance first, and eventually Donnie makes him an athletic wheelchair so he can play games like wheelchair basketball

Walker

the walker is also blue but there's nothing particularly special about it

Leo hates using it because it feels like an old person thing. even if realistically he knows there are plenty of reasons people use them, including his own situation, culture is culture and it makes him feel bad no matter what rationality states

so basically once he doesn't have to use it he doesn't

as they all get more comfortable with Leo's situation and he starts openly using humor to cope, jokes about Leo's chair and cane become pretty commonplace in the fam (all good-natured of course). they know the walker is too much of a sore spot though, and poking fun at it is the fastest way to get Leo to do something stupid, so no one does. it's better to just pretend it's not there

Crutches/Canes

he eventually ends up with a variety of these, with different levels of support depending on what he's needing on a given day.

some of the canes are more fashionable than others. this is important to him.

Leo pretty much always has one of these on hand just in case, even on days where he feels alright to walk on his own

he is not afraid to bonk a brother with a cane or crutch but he does so knowing they are free to retaliate

Leg Braces

Leo doesn't need these every day but they're a pretty standard part of his wardrobe at this point

they start out plain but get increasingly elaborately decorated as time goes on because he, Donnie, and Mikey can't help themselves

like the walker, the braces are in the "don't make fun of" zone, though Leo is happy to get positive comments about them and doesn't really need their presence ignored

Other Mobility Aids

Leo has a variety of things to help with his loss of grip strength, difficulties bending over, tremors, etc. all of them are either made by Donnie or ethically "acquired" by April

he drives everyone crazy by leaving them in random places and then forgetting where they are. Donnie starts installing locator tags on everything they give Leo

jokes about these are fine, Leo makes them often himself and has silly names for all of them (this also drives Donnie crazy)

#rottmnt #sidelined au #phew #can't believe it lol I don't need more AUs but here we are #also I do not have any mobility disabilities myself #a lot of this comes from experiences with family + research #however feel free to correct me if I've misrepresented anything!#I do want to be respectful #it's why it's important for me to stress the name of the AU is based on Leo's own feelings (and how he overcomes them)#and not intended as an outward judgement on his situation or abilities

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piratadelamor · 10 months

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skip and loafer ch. 53

shima seems to see romantic love as a combination of different attraction factors, where liking someone as a person (for their personality) can be compensated for other things, therefore your standarts are lower when you're romantically attracted to someone. the way he sees it, the highest form of steem you can have for someone is to like them as a person, where these other factors don't matter and what you truly value is solely their personality.

i think it's interesting how mukai introduces this conversation by building a hierarchy of feelings, where romantic love stands on top of the feelings of friendship and of liking someone as a person, because that's one concept i've been personally focusing on deconstructing in my life. it's precisely by differenciating these types of feelings and putting them on a hierarchy that so many people end up in romantic relationships with people they don't really like, or why so many people drift away from their friendships when they start dating someone.

through everyone else's eyes, shima's feelings are romantic, and he doesn't feel like they are, because romance to him means something else. the lines between liking someone as a person, as a friend and as a lover are blurred. and listen, that's how they're supposed be. to love someone as a lover is supposed to mean you love them as a friend and as a person as well. a friend and a lover shouldn't be too different, and liking them as a person is supposed to be the core of both feelings.

i don't think shima is being innocent, like i've seen so many people saying on twt since the chapter came out. i think he's touching something very deep about relationships in our society that so many stories that focus on romance fail to address. in most of these stories, romance is the final goal. that's where most of them end. that's not the case here. i was already surprised when mitsumi and shima started dating, and even more surprised when they went back to being friends. that's not the usual narrative for this kind of story. because here, it doesn't seem like this hierarchy matters. and i think it's beautiful and i think it's HUGE how both shima and mitsumi value their friendship above everything else. not only them, because friendship is one of the main themes of this story. both as a dynamic and as a type of love as well.

but people have different perspectives on love and how love feels for them. it's different for mitsumi, for shima, for mika, for fumi. the way you're taught about love in your family or as a child in general has a big role on shaping that. we saw the matter of mitsumi having received lots of love in her family and childhood friends being brought up before as an explanation for her confidence. then, on the other hand, that's why we see shima acklowledging this on the next panels:

we know a few things about shima's family and their complicated relationships. shima never realized his little brother liked him because he saw his behavior as coldness or indifference, when he was actually being considerate of the distance shima was putting between them himself. he felt the need to please his mother by acting in order for her to love him, or for him to be worthy of her love, because their relationship was too anchored on exploitation. his father was having an affair, which not only made shima watch the failure of his parents marriage but also perceive romantic love as something superficial (as in "people break up and move on to the next person") and possibily as something that pushes people away. then shima's first girlfriend only liked him because of his looks, and so many others confessed to him without barely even knowing him. how could shima trust his own feelings after all of that? if he spent most of his formative years in an environment of appearences where love was tied to selfishness, interest, volatility, coldness, pain? shima learned to supress all his feelings and be a people pleaser as a survival mechanism. don't get too attached, live up to others expectations, keep your distance, smile and wave, bottle it all up. he is a kid that doesn't know a single thing about love and is scared as hell of it. love feels as if something is about to break.

that's why liking someone as a person feels more important to him. and that's not only the highest feeling he can have for someone else, i think this is the highest form of feeling he thinks someone could have for him too. it's the kind of feeling he thinks his own mother couldn't have, because acting was more important to her than who he actually was. it's the feeling he unconciously doesn't allow others to feel for him, because he never shows people who he truly is. so shima understands mitsumi's words as a love confession back in chapter 41. she didn't say "i love you", she said "that's what i love about you". and he asks her out, not only because he already knows mitsumi is different, so it seems more reasonable to give it a try, but also because he thinks this is how it's supposed to go. this is what he thinks it's expected to give her in return.

when society puts romance on the top of the relationships/feelings hierarchy, it builds an insane amount of expectations around it. i think it's crazy how friendships feel so free while romantic relationships feel so enclosured. they have too many rules. you're supposed to do this, and that, and behave in certain ways. if you start dating a friend then suddenly your friendship dynamic changes. a boyfriend or a girlfriend have responsibilities that friends don't have. it's a weight. i can't imagine a person like shima feeling any other way about a romantic relationship. for him, this is a big, big weight. that's why he puts an emphasis when he says "i thought that i could be a 'boyfriend' too". a boyfriend is a social role. when he phrases it like that, he's using the word "boyfriend" as an outside concept: he doesn't know what it means to him, he only knows what it means for everyone else. and that's not something he can do.

mukai is absolutely right when he tells shima he shouldn't be going out with anyone. shima isn't ready to be that close to anyone, not even his closest friends. i can't even describe how sad i felt when mukai said this to him:

shima is just so, so lonely...

but this doesn't mean that shima's supposed to become ready to be a "boyfriend" on those terms. i just think he's still trying to figure out what all of these things mean to him. and the good thing is that mitsumi is also trying to figure out these things too. the difference between them is that mitsumi is a few steps ahead, because she already understands what friendship love feels like. and when it comes to that, she gave us one of the most special love confessions i've ever seen.

so many people talked about this scene already, but now, in the light of chapter 53, her saying "i really like this person" has a whole new meaning. this is the most honest love shima has ever received from anyone. no romantic confession could top that. no romantic feeling could heal his wounds the way these words from mitsumi can. this is a treasure shima can't afford to lose.

we're taught that romantic love will save us. that it will make us the happiest, that it completes us. we grow up believing that we can't survive without it. what we really can't survive without are our friends... skip and loafer is putting friendship above everything else, but more than that, it is questioning how romantic love is supposed to feel. some people feel it, some people don't. i think most of us don't really know what it is. we think we do because we read enough, we saw enough movies, we listened to enough love songs. i think i felt it a few number of times in my life but everytime i felt it for someone new i asked myself, was it really love before? what is it, really? if i never read those books or saw thoses movies or listened to those songs. would i recognize it? would i know it better? would it even exist?

aren't shima's feelings for mitsumi already valuable enough? big enough, true enough? would they change if he called them romantic? mitsumi has SO much to teach him about love, about himself, about others. their encounter is so beautiful and so rich. we see how much he's changing, how many new things he's finally starting to understand about himself, how many important steps he's taken since they met. is finding romance at the end really the most important thing for their story?

#skip and loafer #skip to loafer #PHEW OK ALRIGHT I DONT KNOW WHERE ALL OF TJIS CAME FROM BUT HERE IT IS #yes i do hope they get together i do want then to say i love you i do love the blushes and everything i just really #appreciate the way this theme is being approached in a non linear way #and probably it will end with them being together but not as a final goal but as a consequence of the goal which is #learning about themselves and their feelings and about relationships and frienships and growth and communication and human complexity #aaaaa #bea talks

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pocketgalaxies · 11 months

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I'm not very good at seeing things that are here. (arlo black + mannerisms)

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inhuman-obey-me · 6 days

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Congrats on the 4000🎊🎉🎊

Could I request 🧳 with Asmodeus 😘

Thank you, and thank you for your patience!!

"If you really want to go, I'll come with you." - Asmodeus

cw: blood, implication that a drink was laced

*Note: Afray is one of several demons that serves both Asmodeus and Astaroth, and their name means "dust".

“Afray,” the lesser demon’s name leaves Asmodeus’ lips in a near-whine as he holds out an empty glass, “I feel like you haven’t been paying me enough attention lately. Do you like being with Astaroth more?”

“Of course not, Lord Asmodeus.” Afray smiles as they dutifully pour more Demonus into the offered cup. “I’ve just been quite busy, that’s all. But just between me and you,” they lean in closer, “I much prefer being by your side than Lord Astaroth’s.”

“Of course you do!” Asmodeus giggles before taking a slow sip, his gaze still focused on the other. “Who doesn’t want to be by my side and have the privilege of being so close to all this beauty?”

“Indeed,” their smile doesn’t budge, “I’m forever grateful that you’ve deemed me worthy enough to serve you.”

“Well, I don’t let just anyone get so close to me like this, after all.” Finely manicured claws go to gently hold the other demon’s chin, thumb stroking their lips. “While no one can compare to my beauty, you’re just so pleasing to look at.”

Something flickers in Afray’s eyes, and Asmodeus notices.

“It’s really a shame, though.” His grip tightens, claws beginning to pierce flesh. “You’d be so much more pleasing to look at if you were a better liar.”

Finally, the smile drops as disbelief takes over Afray’s features. “Th-that hurts – and whatever do you mean? I haven’t lied.”

“Mmm, and there you go again. It really does make you look much more…” he scrunches up his nose, “...ugly.” Asmodeus holds up his glass with his other hand, turning it slightly in the light. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

There it is again, that look in their eyes.

“N-notice what?” Afray gulps, a hand going up to grip Asmodeus’ wrist in an effort to be released. “It’s just a particular vintage. I’m sorry if it wasn’t to your taste, I can grab ano–AHH!” They let out a yell as they’re lifted into the air, bleeding from where claws have fully dug into their face.

“Oh, if only it was a matter of taste.” Asmodeus slowly licks his lips, as if savoring every drop. “It’s you tampering with the drink that I’m not a fan of – and let me guess, you gave those bottles you wanted me to take home to my brothers your special little treatment too, right?”

“P-please, l-let me go!” Afray hisses, struggles in the greater demon’s grip, tail and feet flailing in the air. “I-I’m sorry, I–ack–I’ll do what..ever you want, just…let me go!”

“Whatever I want? Well, what I want right now my dear, sweet Afray, is to make it so that your name is quite literal.” He smirks as he sees the panic spread. “Turn you into dust, and oh, I’m sure you’d make for a wonderful highlighter. Could really make my cheekbones pop!”

“Just let me go!” Afray scratches and claws at Asmodeus’ arm, desperately trying to escape. “Please!”

“Tch, really, you’re just going to ruin my skin like that?!” Tired of how much they were struggling, Asmodeus tosses Afray to the floor. They scramble to get up, but find themselves pinned down by a heel as the greater demon hovers over them.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking, I-I was put up to it! They offered me so much I couldn’t refuse!” They grovel, hands now clawing at the ground. “I-if you let me go, I promise, I’ll do whatever it takes! I’ll tell you everything! I’ll go a-and make things right!”

“Alright.” Asmodeus takes his foot off the other’s back. “If you really want to go,” he leans down, his voice full of devilish glee. “I’ll come with you!”

“Wh-what?”

“Well, I need to make sure you actually ‘make things right’. Astaroth won’t be too pleased to hear about this either, you know? You’re going to want me there to make sure you don’t mess up again.” He grabs them by the scruff of their neck, hoisting them up so that they’re now on their knees. “And you know how much I enjoy beauty. After all, you just look so much prettier when you beg.”

#phew this is the last of these!!#we couldn't get to them all but I really wanted to crank out one more unhinged Asmo lol so this was technically a bonus one #obey me #obey me!#obey me swd #obey me shall we date #omswd #omnb #obey me nightbringer #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me fic #obey me drabble #writings #4000 follower celebration #the all encompassing [mod] cosmos

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ciderbird · 30 days

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cringe napalex-themed playlist is done!

I know this is a MIXED bag but I just kinda put everything that reminds me of them here so I want to elaborate:

1. Just one yesterday - Fall out boy: I can NOT listen to it without thinking about them, literally every verse fits: “Angels choking on their halos” - Alexander losing at Austerlitz, “I don’t have the right name or the right looks but I have twice the heart” - Alexander has the perfect name and looks for a monarch but it’s Napoleon that everyone admires. And then there’s the chorus about wanting to teach someone a lesson but still longing for the time when things were good? And the bridge?? “If I spilled my guts the world would never look at you the same way” - bro. It’s their song. To me.

2. Rewrite The Stars - The Greatest Showman: Do I even need to explain this one? They’re star-crossed! Napoleon sings Zafron’s part, obviously.

3. Улыбки сфинксов - Flëur: I had to put in at least one russian song. And come on, Napoleon and Egypt? Alexander literally being called Northern Sphinx? And the whole song is about two people talking in riddles and being unable to communicate? Yeah.

4. Hot n Cold - Katy Perry: Yes, really. Look I know it’s silly but it also just perfectly encapsulates Napoleon’s frustration with Alexander not committing to the alliance while also not breaking it off.

5. Irresistible - Fall out boy. Yes, another FOB but listen, it’s the BRIDGE! The bridge is about them, it even has french in it! “I’m coming for you and I’m making war”? And it goes both ways!

6. Everybody wants to rule the world- Lorde: it’s cliché, but it still fits them “So glad we’ve almost made it, so sad they had to fade it” just hits different

7. Gold - Imagine Dragons: This one I associate specifically with Napoleon but it’s also about the corruption of power in general so I included it anyway.

8. Teen Idle - Marina and the Diamonds: Since I have one for just Napoleon, this one is what I most associate with Sasha. It just fits his deformed psyche growing up in court with two opposing influences so well

9. We are never ever getting back together - Taylor Swift: Yeah. This is another silly one, but tell me you can’t just picture them bickering listening to it, especially with all the unanswered letters from Moscow.

10. Recovery - James Arthur: Unexpected, I know! I don’t know why I connected it to them so strongly but I think it works for how they ended up? Napoleon sick in exile, Alexander disappointed with his reign and apathetic. They’re both ‘recovering’ from endless wars, one in isolation, another in mysticism, they are shadows of who they once were. Very tragic end to this playlist as well as their relationship. Oh well!

#phew I can’t believe I actually wrote all that for a joke playlist #if someone wants to share their own go ahead!#i’d be interested in seeing them #napoleon bonaparte #tsar alexander i #alexander i of russia

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 15 days

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https://www.tumblr.com/twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat/747358492889858048/sugurus-route-sounds-interesting-i-know-a-lot-of?source=share

is it just me, but if reader and suguru are in their twenties, i don't see the four year age gap being a big deal? and later on, it becomes even less of a big deal.

i get that there may be some moral deliberation on suguru's part with the growing up aspect, but for them to keep their relationship a secret forever? really? that's kinda weird imo and making a big fuss out of nothing

if they're like 24 and 28, why the hell do they have to hide? i literally don't get it at all. they're not doing anything immoral. and reader is not a child by any means, and it's not like they have some cognitive gap or anything. i just don't get it. maybe it's a cultural thing, and for you it's a bigger deal than it is for me.

obviously fourteen x eighteen is super fucked up and wrong, but we're not talking about that, my god

aaa and !!! as for riko !!!! kairo COOKED w the shoko thing.

i think... that this pairing makes a lot of sense! i think it makes more sense than riko x reader, tbh

i just... i don't see the need of turning every best friend friendship into a romance

like irl i don't want to fuck my friends (pardon me for being crude) and i will never want to fuck them, and that's okay. i'm perfectly satisfied with our friendships staying friendships, and the transition to a romance is not necessarily a signification of a 'higher-level' relationship

at the end of the day though, as others have said, it's your stories so you get to do whatever the hell you want to do with it

…. anon i talked abt this a bit in another ask but maybe you missed it so i’ll say it again :’3

(this got very long i’m sorry in advance 😔)

the gap itself isn’t the problem, it’s not a big deal in their twenties. the issue here is the way their dynamic started. satoru always viewed reader like a younger sibling, and it was the same with suguru. don’t you think that would be awkward for them at all? 😭 i think you’re focusing on the present point of their relationship which is fine, but their history as a whole is important too!! if you grew up with a younger kid who was crushing on you, while you viewed them as a sibling, wouldn’t you also feel weird about developing feelings for them later down the line? i definitely would!!

the important part is the shift in their dynamic, not the age gap (but i mention the gap bc it’s so central to their prior dynamic). satoru can’t bring himself to shift his view on reader, bc he still sees them as someone younger that he needs to protect. there’s a kind of power dynamic there that’s important to remember, and it was established when they first met. he’s older, he’s known you since you were a little kid, he’s spent all those years making sure not to give you the impression that he’s leading you on at all. satoru doesn’t want to break that pattern, and he views that choice as important.

so don’t you think he’d be kind of pissed if he found out suguru had gotten together with you? if he found out suguru had made a choice to break that pattern, when he was so adamant on not doing so? there would definitely be a lot of tension there. satoru literally spends the fic talking about how he thinks reader should be with someone better, someone closer to their own age, someone who they didn’t meet from such a young age — and then he finds out they’re with suguru??

like . there’s no way there wouldn’t be a fight there. i’m not saying it’d be the end of the world or their friendship or anything, but satoru would absolutely be upset with suguru. especially since he places him on such a high pedastal. it’s less about morality and more about convictions. there’s nothing immoral about them being together, but it goes against the convictions satoru’s found himself sticking to.

so!!! that’s the reason i think they would keep their relationship secret. to avoid that tension. i can’t see it being anything other than a sneaky summer romance. maybe in the future they could tell everyone, but i also just don’t see suguru/reader as an actual endgame couple in this au… i didn’t specify this in the fic but the two of them aren’t nearly as close as reader is with riko and satoru, since they only met when suguru was hanging out at the gojo household.

anyway!! that’s my take on that. again, the gap isn’t the issue, it’s everything surrounding their dynamic, and the history of it. bottom line is that stsg grew up viewing reader as a sibling of sorts, so of course any kind of shift from that pattern would feel strange. if you meet someone when they’re fourteen and you’re eighteen, i’d argue that it’s a lot weirder to not consider that part of your dynamic important when thinking of them as a potential romantic interest in the future.

like, imagine someone asking you and your partner for your age, and you tell them you’re 27 while your partner is 23. not a big deal, obviously!! but then they ask what age you were when you met and you have to say you were eighteen and they were fourteen. even if you quickly explain that you didn’t get together until you were both adults, don’t you think that would earn you some weird stares? it’s not immoral but it’s a delicate situation, and i think satoru would get angry at suguru for not handling it delicately enough from his pov. remember that satoru himself can only see it as totally normal like. a decade into the future LMAO. his view doesn’t have to be the same as yours or mine, but it’s satoru’s own view that’s important here.

….. hopefully that made it all a bit more clear 😭 sorry for rambling so much anon!! hopefully you’re still with me :’3 obviously you’re free to root for whichever couple you want, but i don’t see myself changing my stance on these two. it’s a fun what-if bonus ending and i think that’s more than enough!! nothing that’s meant to be angsty or whatever, just suguru and reader sneaking around a bit because they know riko and satoru will be angry.

AH ALSO one more thing !! :’3 i’d argue that there is a cognitive gap between reader and suguru. reader is 22-23 in the fic, suguru is 27. it’s not a big gap but the human brain doesn’t finish developing completely until your mid/late twenties!!

i just... i don't see the need of turning every best friend friendship into a romance like irl i don't want to fuck my friends (pardon me for being crude) and i will never want to fuck them, and that's okay. i'm perfectly satisfied with our friendships staying friendships, and the transition to a romance is not necessarily a signification of a 'higher-level' relationship

wait nevermind i also wanna talk abt this 💔 a bit more rambling incoming.

overall!! you don’t have to like riko/reader anon. that’s totally understandable!! a part of me also prefers them staying as friends and nothing else, and i’ve always hated the idea that romantic love is seen as stronger as platonic love bc it just . isn’t. platonic love can be and often is just as powerful!! canonically reader and riko are best friends, nothing else, but i still think they’d be cute in a what-if scenario, that’s all :3 if it’s not your cup of tea then that’s totally fine, none of the endings are canon anyway.

as for the sexual aspect 😭 i just wanted to point this out bc i never write any of my character dynamics with a sexual aspect in mind, even the romantic ones. sex doesn’t have to be a part of romance!! maybe you were just joking so i’m sorry if i’m reading too much into it, just wanted to mention it bc i do see it as important :’3 being lovers doesn’t equal to having sex!!

#phew ok i’m done 😭😭#sorry if any of this comes off as rude anon!! i just want to be as firm as possible with my own takes so there’s no confusion #at the end of the day you can like and dislike whatever ideas you want!! we don’t have to agree on them all :3 #that makes it more fun anyway!!#but i hope you’ll enjoy reading the endings whenever i post them >:3 still haven’t fully decided on some things but #i do have three endings in mind hehe #ask tag ✩

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wild-moss-art · 9 months

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my fesona pre and post timeskip! some info under the cut

Moss is a half nabatean who performs with a traveling circus. When Rhea sees one of their performances, she senses that there is something familiar about them. Moss takes more after their human mother than their nabatean father, so Rhea can't quite place who they remind her of. Moss is not forthcoming with any useful information on the matter, feigning complete ignorance. In order to watch them more closely, Rhea extends an invitation to the officer's academy. Moss accepts this invitation, albeit with suspicion, because it may offer better career options than the circus.

At the academy, Moss is a bit hard to pin down. They are friendly enough, generally cheerful, and happy to engage in conversation with anyone. They enjoy getting to know people, but are reluctant to reciprocate; rather, they tend to mirror others. Most people don't really notice this behavior, and those who do tend to find Moss mercurial and manipulative. Moss owns very few things, and they have very little regard for morality and attachment.

Due to the difficulties other characters may have getting to know Moss, support points are difficult to build. They get no support points from gifts, and negative support points from returning lost items. Supports can be built through battle, teatime, and sparring together(assuming that is a mechanic I also add to the game). If people try to pry too much, they lose support points unless they are at b support.

Moss can be recruited to any route, but will defect at the timeskip if they have no a supports unlocked for the house they are in. If they have an a support unlocked in a different house, they join that army after the timeskip. If they have no a supports unlocked, they never return to fodlan when they leave during the timeskip. Moss's heritage is only revealed in the silver snow and verdant wind routes.

#phew lots of typing #my ocs #fire emblem oc #fe3h oc #fe3h ocs #does anyone the proper tag #myart #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #fesona #fesona or jojosona 🤔#anyway you could clip a leash right on there--#feel free to send asks if you like #I have a few more details but stringing them together coherently is the trouble #ummm you can also send asks abt how they might interact with your oc. if you want <3 #I take feedback

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filmnoirsbian · 2 years

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In what follows I address this kind of shock in particular relation to the figuring and staging of bodies in tragedy - especially dead ones, but also those living that are represented as approximate and / or proximate to corpses. Interacting with such bodies intensifies agony and transport for characters and audiences alike, both of which affects plunge towards sublimity. At the same time the strongly gendered familial dynamics of pivotal scenes inflect the emotional shudder that attends them with a psychic recoil, as mothers haunt sons and sisters seek to lie down with brothers or other 'wrong' objects of affection (e.g. a mother's husband, as I'll come back to).

Unsurprisingly, each of the three main dramatists pursues these effects by different means, in keeping with their distinctive stylistic registers. Aeschylus foregrounds corpses as precipitating ominous figurations that are forcefully manipulated by and/or have powerful effects on those who view them. The Oresteia offers an arresting collection of corpses, with both Clytemnestra and Orestes commanding tableaux on the ekkuklêma flanked by their victims, the effects of which drive the son (if not the mother) mad. Sophocles focuses instead on the moribund body of Electra, expanding upon a brief moment in the kommos of Aeschylus' play, when Electra draws attention to her outsider status. Sophocles is more concerned with the metaphors that indicate the eerie, elusive qualities of heroic bodies on the edge. The corpses in his version are barely present; in their place Electra emphasizes her mouldering and tattered state as well as her existential proximity to Orestes, whom she thinks is dead. Euripides, in a characteristic move that makes palpable the dread and fascination aroused by the outcast and the dead, combines these effects, so that unsettling figurative and staging tactics encourage a creeping awareness that the drive to violence may foster perverse attractions. His Electra expatiates in bitter detail on her coarse clothes and shorn hair, then later on in the action pursues to alarming affect engagement with the corpses of Aegisthus and Clytemnestra. Aeschylus' and Euripides' dead exert unnerving holds over the live viewers of their bodies, while Sophocles' undead Electra is also a presence that is difficult to assimilate or ignore, with her sullied appearance and harsh regard, as well as her eerie sense of both metaphor and the literal edge.

Exquisite Corpses and Other Bodies in the Electra Plays by Nancy Worman

#obsesseddddd with the fact that sophocles was like no electra is undead electra is what is haunting the house of atreus electra rather than #orestes as the curse in human form. she knows she's in this story she knows these violent delights have violent ends but she wants them #anyway. and so she'll have them. phew! jason todd elektra hours. anyways.#electra #the oresteia #hauntings #in the beginning #tcp #essays #i know the scs are hard to read jstor really makes me work for it 🙄

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magpieddd · 1 year

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When you've been wanting an EC sigil your whole life and when you finally get it you just want to carve it out of your skin. Sad!

#self harm tw #<- better safe than sorry #what a week phew i hate it here #anyway if you're feeling bad just draw vent art while listening to lost kitten on repeat for up to an hour #it will not make you feel better but it's nice before lost kitten gets on your nerves so much that you want to throw yourphoneacrosstheroom #incredible song but i fear it's going to become unplayable sooner than expected #be quite and drive it's a great alternative but it's too overwhelming to listen to while sketching #it's better for coloring and shading #which i do every time a pope dies so ough #go listen to those two songs this is not a request this is an order #i want a review of them in my inbox at 11pm sharp hop hop #lost kitten is by metric #listen to it listen to it listen to it #toh oc #backup au #gatherer #the owl house #and the other song is by deftones #sh tw #tw selfharm #my mental health is so not great these past days hhhh more than usual #'grimm the sigil placement in the drawing is wrong' fuck you #grimm's art #blood tw

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c-kiddo · 8 months

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unfortunate to go from popular media special interest to other niche (or niche-er, on tumblr at least) interests, because like if i want to have a little browse in the azhdarchid tag or the mount eerie tag i cant because there is maximum one new post a month </3

#mount eerie enjoyers we are holding hands on the summit of a mountain being torn at by storm clouds lalalalalaaa #kiddo say #sad times for lil ol me....................#i usually hav several special interests at once and this includes a music one and rn its mount eerie/the microphones #paleontology n paleoart in general theres more thing so thats nice. but i want to see azhdarhcid image : - )#i like them sm #once a month is pushing it its realistically more like 2 . or 3 #(i say all this but rly i am glad its quiet too. like . phew)

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startistdoodles · 1 year

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Are there any headcanons you have in either the Kirby or Pokemon series that you’ve had but never had the right moment to mention?

I’ve wanted to do a Kirby’s Species headcanon list for a while but haven’t gotten around to it…until now.

(For the sake of simplicity, I’m just gonna call them ‘puffballs’ lol)

(Also see: Dark Matter Headcanons)

Kirby’s Species Headcanons

Puffballs consist primarily of light matter—the manifestation of positive (love) energy.

Their bodies can be practically any color and can range from being smooth and rubbery to very fluffy with long fur. Generally though, most puffballs have a very short layer of fluff on their bodies that makes them slightly fuzzy to the touch.

Puffballs are biologically genderless, but can use gendered pronouns if they want to. However, they are unable to reproduce. Instead, they are born on shooting stars that will fly to and land on planets at random. Adult Star Warriors make it their mission to retrieve infant puffballs as soon as they can.

The vast majority of puffballs have the power to use copy abilities when they are young, though it is quite rare for one puffball to be able to utilize every ability. Usually they can copy about 5-7 and will end up specializing in 1-2 primary abilities. Once they start maturing into teenagers, most puffballs lose their ability to copy and rely primarily on the powers they have been trained in.

Young puffballs utilize copy abilities as their primary way of defense. However, puffballs often rely on a guardian that will care for them and protect them until they are old enough and trained to defend themselves fully.

Puffballs have enormous appetites, especially when they are little. They will inhale to eat large quantities of food at a time, but generally that is a behavior they grow out of as adults. Though an adult can also inhale if they want to; it’s just seen as rude and improper while eating with others.

Puffball smooches contain a small amount of healing power (they really are just an actual ball of love energy <3). However, they can’t heal away super major injuries or Dark Matter infections. But a puffball smooch on a boo-boo will really make it feel better.

They are typically very social and familial by nature and thrive in groups. If a puffbull does not have any friends or is isolated for an extended period of time, they can grow extremely destructive and unable to control themselves. Younger puffballs may not be able to survive without receiving love from others.

Puffballs can sense each other’s presence within a short distance. Knowing that others of their kind are nearby offers them an immediate sense of peace and comfort.

Additionally, puffballs feel very happy when they cuddle with other puffballs by rubbing their cheeks together.

Puffballs that reach 200-250 years of age will start developing wings. These wings vary by the individual and are seemingly random, but the purity of the light matter they are made of can potentially have some amount of influence. (I really like these wing headcanons by @ferahntics so please check them out if you wanna know more about those in particular)

Similarly, when a puffball reaches 800-1,000+ years of age, they will start growing horns. Horns also vary by individual and their shape and design may occasionally be influenced by the puffball’s abilities. (Again, more headcanons by ferahntics that I love)

On very rare occasions, puffballs may not grow wings and/or horns. This can be due to a variety of factors, such as being in a poor and unsubstantial environment (a lack of love and friendship in their lives, lack of food) or simply just by chance.

#ask #anon #not art #kirby #kirby worldbuilding #phew i think thats all of them #i think of these lil creatures too much #thats just one down i still have other hc topics people have wanted me to tackle #a few months ago someone requested nightmare #and another requested gala #i have yet to get to them but i WILL! eventually ^^;#long post

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