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#people make posts about supernatural and I say hey that’s a pretty good interpretation
castielcommunism · 2 years
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wait u guys weren’t kidding cas eating meat in 5x14 is textually carnal. the couple at the beginning of the episode become so horny they eat each other
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cassierobinsongf · 5 months
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hey, how’s it going. I made this side blog when i had 2020 dean winchester induced brain fog (i also literally had a concussion and then post concussion syndrome for months, so brain damage in the realest sense). thinking about dean winchester occasionally still makes me feel things…but lately it’s giving that “i got on mood stabilizers and dont like bts anymore” tweet. still, destiel 4ever obviously. i rarely post on here anymore, but here are some core tenets of this blog:
1. Supernatural is a white supremacist show on every single level.
2. i’m interested in dean in a gender studies way, but also in a rawer more emotional teenage connection way and also i’m a sucker for gritty family drama and kids who had to grow up too fast and every painfully twisted sibling dynamic ever written. i think the groundedness of the undercurrent of very complicated familial abuse and how extremely real that feels is actually the only emotional glue holding the show together.
3. I named this blog after cassie because she was a rare compelling and somewhat humanized woman of color on this show—who was tragically underused and existed in a horrifically racist one off episode, but still in a show riddled with misogynoir and every fucking flavor of racism and misogyny, she stands out to me as someone worth highlighting. plus she had sweet sexy fun bi4bi vibes with dean
4. Ok i’m bored of making this list. Basically i was gonna say as we all know there are lots of delicious concepts in supernatural, but none of them were ever delivered on to their maximum potential or carried through consistently. I guess the interesting conversations to me mostly lie in the wells of potential and the innumerable swing and misses on the show. With that being said, there is absolutely nothing serious about supernatural. To all the creators and everyone involved: you are not serious people.
5. about me: i’m an iranian american dyke in my 20s. i think super online white queer people are typically pretty annoying. i’m not interested in being a part of “spn fandom” this blog was just my own little chronicle of a breakdown and an outlet during an extended hard time. i don’t believe in dnis, but a lot of you are really racist and out of touch and i will not hesitate to block you. ok! now that the annoying people have left, i will say i do love talking to the mutuals and other smarties! feel free to message or reply to a post if you have relevant (good faith) thoughts. you can also find me on my active main blog @dykesaira
6. how could I forget? do not talk to me about actors…i literally do not care…unshackle your minds and stop paying attention to them
7. and of course! Destiel is real. source: it happened to me
8. I’m interested in studying the American Studies element/aesthetics of Americana and the cultural interpreting/mirroring of the show. my posts about how the us military loved the show and how sam and dean operate as cops fall into this category. but so do a lot of my thoughts on the role of music in the show and what the soundtrack SHOULD have been like
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shelobussy · 3 years
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I know you talk abou st*cky in the interracial ships stuff, but can we talk about st*ny? Iron husbands is literally right there, but I also always sees Rhodey as Tonys moral support only. And ik Tony is very shippable with most characters, but the fact his ship is Rhodey is one of the lowest ships in ao3 (ironstrange, winteriron and god forbid stark*r all had more fics in ao3).. It's pretty telling this side also has racism problems...
I'll go ahead and answer this here, but letting y'all know that I do have a marvel sideblog if you want to hit me up there (@themarvelarchives).
Hey, I'm going to ramble for a good minute.
So after I posted my very incoherent, controversial take on St*cky vs SamBucky, there were a ton of ppl who came onto anon saying that St*cky shippers were racist. I think I only answered a few, but y'all were pretty insistent on it. I personally have not observed that St*cky shippers are so I'm not calling anyone out on that side of the fandom for that.
I also did not call out anyone on this side of the fandom bc that's not what my meta was about. I think I mentioned maybe once or twice in the whole post that there was underlying racist in the fandom, but since you asked, we can talk about it here.
Covert Bigotry In Fandom Spaces.
To understand what's going on in the MCU, we have to first look at what I call "woke-queer" fandom.
So "Woke-Queer" Spaces is the phenomenon where certain fandom members like to call ppl out on their bigotry, while covertly harboring their own queerphobia/racism/etc. An example of this that we're all familiar with is TERFS and how they like to claim that they are progressive and woke, while also claiming that trans women are fake and trans men are sexist.
How this translates to fandom, however, is the hypocrisy that is cancellation and callout culture.
For example, Supernatural in particular is a fandom that likes to call out the writers on their homophobia and racism, and yet, somehow, the fandom is chalk full of homophobia and racism. If you want to read more about this, here is a truly excellent article from the perspective of a queer woman of color.
Moving on, I've also talked in a previous meta post, on the internalized acephobia that exploded in 2019 after Good Omens was released. Rather than reiterate everything I said in that post, I'll just leave it at this: the controversy in the Good Omens fandom can be summed up by the fact that queer audiences are claiming that Ineffable Husbands is the wrong kind of queer. The hypocrisy oozes off the screen, doesn't it?
A final way this viably translates to fandom, is in how the Doctor Who fandom evolved over time.
So Steven Moffat takes over as head writer and showrunner in 2010. It's a new series, a new Doctor, a new Tardis, and new branding. He steps up the action, changes the color grating, and raises the stakes. Women are sexier, the Doctor is smarter (and more of an asshole, but that's another meta post), and every companion comes with their own impossible mystery that makes them Special™.
Series 5-10 got tons of woke points for having lesbian characters, an episode where the Doctor is homoerotic with James Corden, and an underlying trans narrative with the Master's reincarnation. What a lot of people forget, however, is that his series was incredibly sexiest, incredibly lesbian/biphobic, and basically turned the Doctor into everyone's fantasy sex-object.
This, unfortunately, brought out the worst of the fandom. There was RTD Era vs Moffat Era wars exploding in certain corners, TenxRose shippers vs ElevenxRiver shippers.
What does this have to do with covert racism in fandom cultures though?
Hnnngng ok, so back in RTD era's we get Martha Jones, the Actual Best Companion On The Entire Show. Except for the fact, of course, that she is written to be in love with the doctor. She's a brilliant character--smart, sassy, flawed, funny, flirtatious--and her entire plotline is reduced down to a school-girl crush on a white man.
She doesn't do well with fans, they scrap her after one season.
We move on to Donna Noble (The Other Actual Best Companion On The Entire Show) and RTD's era ends with them scraping her too and regenerating David Tennant's Doctor.
It will be five more series (not seasons, SERIES) until Doctor Who will have another black companion--who gets extra points for being gay--only to fall victim to "bury your gays" at the end of the season (but not really bc no one stays dead on Doctor Who).
The fandom's reception of Martha Jones was historically bad. The comparisons to her predecessor, Rose Tyler, were rampant and everyone was finding a reason to hate her.
The fandom's reception to Bill Potts was also historically bad, as everyone was screaming that she was being written for more "woke points" and that they wanted Clara back.
Fandom has a historically bad reputation of being problematic and, I would argue, the majority of it has to do with these toxic undertones of bigotry that slip under the radar. "Woke-queer" spaces, as I call them, are these instances above where spaces that claim to be inclusive of gender/orientation/race are covertly bigoted.
Marvel and Cancelling
Now is an excellent time to talk about the MCU.
Anthony Mackie (Sam Wilson) has recently come under a lot of criticism from fandom members for shutting down shipper speculation.
"The idea of two guys being friends and loving each other in 2021 is a problem because of the exploitation of homosexuality. [...] something as pure and beautiful as homosexuality has been exploited by people who are trying to rationalize themselves."
I can't find the rest of the quote, but Mackie goes on further to say that it was important to him to portray "a sensitive, masculine figure" without insinuating that there was romance involved.
Woke culture lost it's shit. Everyone was suddenly claiming that Mackie was calling them exploitative for shipping a gay ship as a queer audience, which could not have been further from the case.
Mackie actually makes some very excellent points in that sensitivity is not gay/queer. Woke culture loves to rag on Toxic Masculinity, but the minute someone plays a character who is loving and sensitive with no queer narrative in mind, they are immediately canceled.
What Am I On About
Okay, let's actually address what your ask was about, Nonnie. You pointed out--rather truthfully--that it is unfair to call-out racism on one side of the fandom, while ignoring it on the other side.
Well, I've gone back through my St*cky vs. SamBucky analysis (which is incoherent at best, I apologize for that) and I see maybe once instance where I called out fandom members for being racist. Here's what I had to say about racism:
"[...] Iron Husbands is a rarepair, probably because it’s an interracial ship."
"[there is] nothing wrong with shipping two white men, but it does become a problem when you ignore/bash POC/interracial ships to the determinant of your own white ship."
And then there was the post you brought up where I addressed interracial ships in the fandom. That one is probably more relevant to this topic, to be honest, as I actually addressed fandom racism there. I assume that your reason for bringing up Stony is because it's a ship that is more relevant to my side of the fandom, HOWEVER, the reason I highlighted Stucky instead was because I was comparing the fact that they've both been around the same amount of time and are relationships that feature the protagonist and their best friend.
You brought up St*ny in the ask, however, so I'm going to talk about St*ny for a minute.
As someone who never has nor will ship St*ny, it never even occurred to me that some of the problem behind the Iron Husbands tag being so small is because everyone ships the white, boring ship. You brought up a very valid point, but because I was never in that part of the fandom, I can't really speak to any possible underlying racism there, besides what I've already said above.
I would be interested in hearing a St*ony shipper or ex-St*ony shippers thought on this, but sadly I don't know any. If you have any more thoughts regarding this, Nonnie, pls drop back into my inbox.
You do make some excellent points in this ask though, and I would like to talk about racism on my side of the fandom.
So back to Mackie and his Twitter cancellation. Notice that Disney made him address the rumors and not his co-star, Sebastian Stan. Anthony Mackie is put on blast and made to answer fan demands and receives backlash, while Sebastian Stan gets to fly under the rader. This is not, by the way, a criticism of Stan, but instead of the blatant racism Disney has been displaying over the past few years.
How this ties in with the rest of my post has to do with my "woke-queer" spaces bit. The outcry across the MCU fandom over Mackie was swift and unforgiving. He was cancelled on charges of homophobia and bigotry--all the while these same fans turn a blind eye to any queer interpretation of other interracial ships and discourse in their own fandom.
The racism that I'm speaking about, of course, is an almost passive racism. Of course if you don't ship a specific ship for reasons other than their race, it's perfectly fine. It's okay not to ship Iron Husbands or SamBucky or any other interracial fandom ships. However, the distinct lack of shippers in the fandom IS telling because there are people who would ship that exact ship if not for the fact that one of men is black.
I don't have much more to say about this except to thank you for bringing it up and for listening to my long rambling post.
(Feel free to bug me about Tony Stark, MCU ships, MCU Meta and anything you want to talk me about on this blog and @themarvelarchives.)
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So, i made Jared's answer so why not Jensen's. It feels like he had to so i can't find myself to gif it. I just interpret his word ~ (My interpretation =/ "his word". We're good ?)
Jensen knows he can't be over with hellers who think that platonic love is less powerful that romantic love...
Fan : When did you know that the way Castiel loved Dean was in a romantic like deep love like when in the series did you know ?
He explains first that "Dean really ever knew until the very end there. In fact, i know he didn't because i never played that. But as Jensen, it was kind of discussed internally..."
"it's interesting because i think the term romantic is being used because there isn't a term that necessarily.."
he struggle getting to his point because he doesn't want to offend anyone.. and it's really hard with people who can't understand that the show wasn't about that. But like hey he have Jared here thanks. When he says that Dean knew in the very end (i assume he's talking about the last scene with castiel) he doesn't mean it romantically and this is what he will try to explain..
He finish saying that he don't think lust is involve..
"That the love that cass had is heavenly, he's an angel so he's able to love on a level and on a plane that human emotion doesn't necessarily comprehend and i think we might default to making it a romantic or a sexual love.."
He manages to take into account what misha said without refute him.. but as we can see it didn't prevent hatred.
.
He go to "destiel doesn't exist" to Mark Hamill style answer.. (X)
Did i think that's better ? Not really 'cause that's two different universe. Supernatural is about love, platonic love, family bonds about these two brothers willing to die, kill or do anything for each others it shows at each episode involving them (yeah i can pretty say every here😅) (platonic soulmates, you know). Interpret this love just makes it incest 🤷‍♀️
"The way i kind of interpreted it, and this is the great thing about the show and I think the relationships in some of these characters is that they're open for interpretation, if you find identity in a character because of whatever reason.. fantastic ! Great, if that encourages you to be a better person..."
But i kinda love what he said for all the people out there who (i can't understand yet why) find identity in a fanon ship. Just don't spread hate.
"And i think cass' love was a love that isn't identified by humans necessarily, it was a love that superseded that and we try to find words to describe that and I just don't think there are words."
So what he try to tell us is that Dean understand that love of castiel, because hey castiel isn't human it's not romantic love, either platonic. It was on other plane that humans can't describe it. So can we move on already.
#destiel isn't canon#but interpretation is welcome#even if the show was about platonic love#not really a rant#just anti destiehellers#and anti jared hate#castiel's more than just a ship#btw i love the no word to describe it#cause yeah you know it's dean#and castiel loving him in that way it's refreshing#we cover platonic and now we have heavenly#why not#long post#i'm really grateful to this actually#cause yeah it's good to make clear that destiel doesn't exist in canon#but to actually take into account misha's words for his character#makes me feel better to like castiel#it may seem strange but like i can now interpret Misha's words in Jensen's way without him being there❤
Thanks for reading
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The Rooster Sunrise motel and the roots of the narrative at the sunset of the story. A masterclass in Dean characterization
If I didn’t care / more than words can say / if I didn’t care / would I feel this way? / If this isn’t love / then why do I thrill? / And what makes my head go round...
This song plays as Travis comes in to check at the Rooster Sunrise motel - late in the night, later than the motel technically allows checks in. Metaphorically, this episode happens later than it should. Everything happens later than it should. Dean defeats the monster too late, after it gets Travis dead. They’re running a case when they should actually be preparing for the ultimate showdown against God. Dean tells Sam the truth about Jack too late. The very episode is “out of place” in the season - I mean, purposely so - because it gives us a “old style” hunting case in a season where hunting has lost its original purpose in the narrative but has taken a different purpose, as a sort of caricature of itself, as we’ve discussed about before.
This episode is a last. Okay, we haven’t seen the next few yet, but this episode has a specific function, and it is to be the last traditional hunting case of the show. It’s about the past, and that’s why it can happen now that hunting can no longer exist, not really. This season, we have never had real hunting cases. Fake ones, weird ones, ones that just felt off -- obviously because the story is no longer working the way it did before. Chuck’s “hamster wheel” has been fully revealed, and the narrative can no longer function in the old way.
And this episode happens as... a sunset, actually. Or better, both sunrise and sunset because it shows us, in parallel, the beginning and the end. The first case Dean and Sam work together, and what is essentially the last, at least the last with the traditional formula - a monster of the week, a motel, a gross place, a civilian saved, some choking, some yeeting across a motel room, you know how it goes.
(The elephant in the room is the sun/sunrise imagery across the show, especially relevant after the latest episode brought back the Gas’n’Sip logo, of course, but let’s talk about something else here.)
There are many echoes in the episode. 2x11 Playthings, a case in a hotel that involved children. 11x16 Safe House, where a case was run both in the past, by Bobby and Rufus, and in the present, and involves a monster’s nest and visions. Of course 1x18 Something Wicked, where they defeat a monster that targeted kids after an attempt when they were kids had failed to get rid of the monster for good, and where we also get flashbacks of them as kids. And many other little references and callbacks. A pretty major one (*rubs hands together*) is 10x19 The Werther Project, where something supernatural causes hallucinations that make the victim kill themselves; Dean also almost stabbed himself back then. (Cuthbert Sinclair again... bless.) Oh, well, the pilot itself, where Dean and Sam comment that they make a good team. And then Carver-era secret and lies, of course.
And 14x13 Lebanon. (Yes it gets its own paragraph...) Dean smashing the stone in the ring, making the monster disappear, parallels straight to Sam smashing the pearl, making John disappear. The other monster of the episode is John, of course, who drops the kids in some motel alone while he gets “out of reach” when Dean tries to contact him on the phone (callback to season 1, when they kept trying to call John on the phone and he never answered, not even when Dean was dying or they were in their old house in Lawrence and terrified). John only appears as an invisible figure driving the car, symbolically driving their lives (all this “killing God and getting free” is nothing but a mirror to getting free from John’s influence, right). Callback to 9x07 Bad Boys, where we also see a younger Dean and we also deal with the weight of the lifestyle John placed on him, in an episode that features a literal ghost of a parent. (Heck, we even had Dean stealing food - in 9x07 he was caught by a policeman and brought to the boys’ house, now Caitlin jokes about arresting him.)
As 1x18 Something Wicked, we are presented with how growing up among monsters and hunting cases impacted Dean as a kid. Interestingly, Sam tries to reassure Dean in both episodes, telling him that he was just a kid and he shouldn’t be too hard on himself. In 1x18 he had ruined John’s hunt and put Sam in danger (of course the implication is that John put them in danger by using them as bait and expecting a child - addditionally unaware of what was going on - to watch after a younger child), now that he didn’t tell anyone about the nest because it was too horrifying to share that with other kids (of course, he’d also been a kid and shouldn’t have had to investigate a child-killing monster, so the implication is again that John shouldn’t have left them alone and unable to reach him in case of danger. It’s so telling that the episode has Dean discovering the bodies of dead kids while Sam is playing with another kid - although, of course, the game also turns terrifying soon).
So it’s an episode that has it all: the ghost of John Winchester, the way Dean’s parentified role impacts negatively his relationship with Sam (the episode establishes a connection between Dean shielding Sam from the horror of the monster’s nest and Dean essentially shielding Sam from the horror of the latest Jack news, it’s always about Dean feeling the weight of a responsibility to Sam because he’s Sam’s caretaker, even if he ostensibily mentions Billie’s plan and stuff as the reason of his silence), and of course the theme of FEAR.
I’ve been screaming this from rooftops pretty much since I’ve been here on tumblr - fear is the interpretative key to Dean’s character. Since season 1. Since the beginning. (You’re scared. It’s okay. I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too.) Many posts have been written about how anger is a secondary emotion, when the narrative ostensibly had Dean be “angry”. Dean has dealt with fear almost his entire life, and this episode basically works as an asterisk to the season. Hey, we’re having everyone comment on Dean’s anger! Including Dean himself! He says he doesn’t know why he has these outbursts! Well, we do know. Little reminder here now... he’s scared. And he’s scared because he cares, because he loves so much, and when you keep losing what you love you are scared, scared of losing more and more, stuck in a hamster wheel of losing and losing and losing.
In fact, if losing Jack will stop the hamster wheel, he’s fine with it, because as long as they’re stuck in the wheel they’ll lose Jack again anyway, they keep losing everything over and over, Jack and Cas and everyone. In this episode he mentions funerals of hunters, friends, how they couldn’t even attend all the funerals of people they were close to. There were so many. They’ve always been so surrounded by horror and fear and death. He just wants it to stop. (Of course the plan cannot work, just like the immersion therapy method didn’t work for Travis. Well, poor Travis’ idea of facing his fears to overcome his trauma worked very well on paper, just like Billie’s plan seems to be the best option on paper, but we still have a few episodes still to see...)
This episode is an exploration of the motives of Dean’s behavior, and it spells them out very clearly. John’s abuse and neglect, the forced parentified role he had to take towards Sam since a too-early age, the nightmarish horrors he had to see (while shielding Sam from, which reminds me of the infamous scene about Max’s childhood...), the neverending chain of losses with its baggage of fear.
Dean wants - needs - to defeat Chuck, just like Travis needed to face his fears and overcome his trauma. Because Chuck means hamster wheel. And the hamster wheel isn’t just a theoretical lack-of-free-will thing. It’s not just about a philosophical/theological concept. It’s about the very real cycle of horror and fear and loss that Dean has spent his entire life in. It’s about a pile of dead children, both a metaphor for his brutally ended childhood and a very concrete example of what has been haunting him for so long.
His apparently “okayness” with Billie’s plan is not out of a revenge thing or lack of forgiveness towards Jack (of course we can add millions of words about Dean’s relationship with Death). His okayness with killing Amara is... well, only partly about punishing her for, as he sees it, toying with him. His anger is because he feels so much. If I didn’t care / more than words can say / if I didn’t care / would I feel this way?
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roublardise · 3 years
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SPN vs CONSENT
I think s9 is particularly interesting to question the portrayal of consent in spn. It starts with the whole “angel suggests Dean to trick Sam into saying yes to said angel” and that really makes you think (non-ironically)
Consent is usually discussed in a sexual context, but spn makes it (whether it wants it or not) a prominent theme through possessions, and that’s how i’m gonna talk about it in this essay-not-actual-essay :)
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Legally (and here I’m basing my analysis on my French lens), consent is defined by the absence of violence, surprise, threat, or coercion. So anything with any of these (violence, surprise, threat, coercion) is considered as assault. Then, what is considered as violent, surprising, threatening, and coercive is open to interpretation. In that way, consent would be the absence of no, and not a yes per se. (is there an english idiom for “qui ne dit mot consent”?)
In feminist circles discourses around consent are trying to define consent by itself, and not by the absence of assault. What is consent? is it simply an agreement? is it saying yes? is it desire? is it pleasure? It brought feminists to highlight “grey areas” around consent, where a situation can look consensual, but also... was it really??
In the past years we’ve seen more and more of these “no means no” & “yes means yes” campaigns. Though we can, in light of the grey areas, be wary of the last claim. Some “yes” might not actually mean “yes”, or at least be questionable “yes”.
Basically, consent is / can be:
not saying “no”
saying “yes”
saying “yes” but without violence, surprise, threat, coercion
saying “yes” but without those + with a full knowledge of what it means & the consequences (libre & éclairé)
anything meaning “hell yeh i’m down”
kind of all of the above
??????? (that’s my personal feminist pov)
We can see that the words matter a lot in these views. Being able to verbally express something (or not express something) is a major point in defining a situation as consensual. It’s interesting through an ableist lens but that’s not why I’m writing this post but, you’re free to keep that in mind.
All that being said, that’s when I ask myself, nice, but how does the show supernatural portrays consent?
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The notion of consent is heavily present both through the demons & angels possessions, and particularly through the difference between demonic possession & angelic possession.
Demons are, by definition, villains. They don’t even bother to ask and wait for permission: they take.
With Ruby back in s4, the issue with it is acknowledged and she ends up possessing an “empty” body of a girl who just died. The girl didn’t technically agree to be possessed post-death, and it isn’t presented as a completely consensual situation, it is more of a grey area. Honestly, spn shows up plenty of grey areas even through demonic possession.
In s9 we learn Josie agreed to be possessed by Abaddon, in place of Henry. She said “yes”, and it’s a choice she makes, while knowing (I presume, as a woman of letters) what it entails. Yet she does it to save Henry, and while it technically is a context of “saying ‘yes’ with a full knowledge of what it means & the consequences” & Abaddon doesn’t tell Josie “I’m gonna possess you, if you don’t want to it’ll be Henry” - like, Abaddon isn’t the one suggesting the idea. Josie is the one bringing it up. But Abaddon doesn’t need permission anyway, and in the end she’s the one who takes - but she takes what’s given to her. Seeing it like this, was there coercion?
I don’t think the narration is telling us “hey, technically she literally asked for it so it’s okay” considering demons are never portrayed as good (at best they’re grey areas, but demons as a group = bad). And I may make excuses for Crowley but I sure won’t argue the contrary in this specific case.
But while demons don’t have to bother about consent for possession, they do need to when it comes to deals. So, how do crossroads demons make deals? are they actually just providing a service, for a price, to consensual humans? is their job inherently bad?
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The way Crowley sees it, demon deals are truly like a contract. People come to ask for something, they get the price, they buy ; each part respects the deal and everything’s smooth. Crowley even gets pissed off by demons collecting souls too early. And when Abaddon’s like “lmao why are we acting properly we’re demons?” it implies that the way Crowley runs things is “too human”.
And that’s true and that’s what I love. Crowley is just a businessman. He doesn’t even send demons to pressure people to summon crossroads demons & make a deal (like Sam will do in s10 with Lester, which portrayed this demon deal as a grey area which is even addressed in a convo between Sam and Dean). The knowledge of crossroads deals is passed through folklore and people come like one enters a shop.
Questioning this job as good or bad, as a potentially inherently non-consensual context, is fascinating to me because it leads to question business as a whole.
Back to consent, though. There’s an actual act which sells the deal and that’s what can be seen as a “yes”. And here, different demons act in different ways. During the course of the show we’ve seen demons barely telling humans what the cost was (Azazel just goes “I’ll come in ten years” and he’s not the only one) ; while others are pretty specific. Some are more vague and use the disbelief of the client to take advantage of them. To get that “yes” which counts as “yes”, in every case, even if it is given with bias & without a full knowledge of the act and its consequences.
But the “yes” is even what sells the deal in itself: they seal the deal with a kiss. A kiss, as a physical act, is something people can’t take back. It happened. It’s not mere words throwing in the air - there’s something definitive about it that neither a “no” nor a verbal “yes” has. The kiss are never forced onto people, they have to initiate it. Demons can’t take it by themselves. In a way, they can’t force a deal on someone who doesn’t take the decision. But a “no” is never definite and can be changed through persuasion.
For crossroad demons then, I’ll say consent goes in the ‘simple “yes”’ category. But it could actually fit better in the “hell yeh I’m down” category. Which is even more interesting because what counts as “hell yeh I’m down” is a kiss which can be very not enthousiastic (see Crowley’s first deal, where he makes a homophobic guy kiss him).
Depending on demons, consent can involve violence, threat, coercion, and not knowing the exact consequences. Such cases are portrayed as more evil, more questionable ; whereas the “usual” demons-Crowley-way lays on a grey(er) area.
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What about angels now? How do they define consent?
I don’t think, talking about supernatural, that we can start with the premise of angels being “good”. Even their default settings seem to have never truly been about helping humans, that’s what Castiel’s arc questions all the way. But they are still supposed to act in a certain “more decent” way, than demons. And they do give Heaven, I guess. Anyway.
Angels are a big grey area, yet when it comes to possession the statement seems to be that they do things “correctly” as they have to have the vessel’s consent to do so. In Castiel’s first appearance the dialogue goes:
DEAN : You're possessing some poor bastard? CASTIEL : He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this.
Which already puts angels in contrast with demons who don’t bother to make sure their vessel is okay with it and can handle it.
The whole arc of Jimmy agreeing to be Cas’ vessel is truly interesting because there’s a process at play there ; Cas introduces himself, he proves to Jimmy he can be trusted, and when he eventually asks, Jimmy accepts. He says “yes”.
We later learn that Cas didn’t have to go through all that, he didn’t have to take his time and be sure Jimmy agreed. At the same time, Lucifer is looking from a vessel and using manipulative tactics to get the “yes”. That’s the first time we’re shown the loophole in the concept:
Angels need a “yes” to be able to possess someone, which is a way to make sure they aren’t crossing any boundaries or pushing themselves into someone who doesn’t want to. Yet, Lucifer shows the grey line here: a “yes” doesn’t always truly mean “yes”.
Quickly during s4 angels are portrayed as untrusting, and not much better than demons in the way they treat humans. And it’s interesting that Castiel, the rebel angel, is the only one we see who truly made sure his vessel consented (then, well, shit happens, but let’s focus on the first possession). Though even the first possession can be seen differently: we can even wonder if Cas’ process to get his “yes” (approaching Jimmy with the intention of making him his vessel and building trust accordingly) isn’t very similar to grooming - and then, is this case even truly consensual?
What s4 shows us, is that while angels do require some sort of agreement, this one can be pretty similar to the one crossroad demons do where a “yes” doesn’t have to be a full, enthusiastic, i’m-so-down-with-everything-about-this yes. So... do angels truly care about consent?
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Angels seem to be physically unable to possess someone without consent, and to me it seems like it’s the only reason they care.
For angels as well as demons, a “no” isn’t definite and can always be changed. Whereas a “yes” seals the deal, and once possessed it’s difficult, to say the least, to change your mind and kick the angel out. That’s what we see with Gadreel and Sam: even once Sam is aware of the possession and refuses it, he still has to fight his way for his will to be recognized. And then his consent is only doing a difference because Gadreel has no other choice but to take it into account when they literally fight over Sam’s own body.
Unlike actual contracts which always allow cases in which it can be broken, there is no way to get out of a demon deal (as shown through s3 portrayal of Dean’s and Bela’s arcs). You can try to make deals over deals, but it’s never an actual back tracking (except when Bobby got his soul back iirc? Through blackmail so…).
We find a similar dynamic in angels: when Dean agrees to be possessed by Michael, he does so by stating it’s only until Lucifer’s dead. But Michael is able to take control over him anyway. The deal was never a fair one, wasn’t a mutual agreement: Michael always had the upper hand in it as agreeing to possession means giving control of your body and your mind - so losing control of yourself.
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Angels in spn aren’t truly about protecting humans, as we’re shown through Cas’s character arc & doubts. What they are about is maintaining a status quo, making sure the story unfolds As It Should, because that’s just How It Is. In that sense, their idea of consent can be understood as a mere tool to save face: make it look like people have a choice in the matter when truly, they don’t, because angels have enough power to pressure a “yes”.
The idea of “we need you to be willing” is a way to pretend there’s no power imbalance between angels and humans, but there is. And then we can wonder - can there be consent in such a dynamic?
I feel like the difference between angels & demons, when it comes to consent, is that demons don’t pretend to not have nor take the power over humans. Hell is literally a monarchy ; they’re not shying away from admitting they’re an individualistic business. Whereas Heaven, as a bureaucracy, dulls the power until it’s barely visible (both to humans & other angels) so they can better maintain their public order.
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The specific case of Gadreel mostly highlights all these ideas, while also raising the question of who can consent for whom? And if the concept of consent can be (ab)used and its lines get moved. But what’s to gain from these grey areas, from moving the lines?
Gadreel doesn’t truly care about Sam’s consent when he asks Dean to trick Sam. He uses angel possession to hide himself, and possessing Sam is all about that goal. It’s not even about owning Sam’s body, about getting a vessel like Lucifer wanted to. Gadreel is straight up using Sam’s body & mind.
That’s a very angel thing to do imo. Following rules but make them yours, bend them to your/God’s will. Rules, in Heaven, become less about restriction and more about power: who orders and who follows? And if what you’re doing doesn’t break the rules, then there’s no use to punish and nothing wrong with it.
SO WHAT?
Honestly I don’t truly have a conclusion. Consent is shown as something important which should be respected. It is also a strong theme through angels & demons, and the ways in which consent can be twisted and abused.
I do love to read it as a direct portrayal of the ambiguity of consent in our own capitalist & patriarchal society, very likely unintentional. It’s truly an interesting material to get multiple layers on the topic.
There isn’t a clear “consent is” or “consent should be” stance that spn takes. It’s way more about how the meaning of consent is changed and twisted depending on one’s moral and goals. Which lead me to wonder: could we define consent outside of power dynamics? What is consent, then, if not a power tool?
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sinnabonka · 3 years
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Hey Hun! Lots of love to you. For starters I wanted to say that there should be no cell in your body blaming yself in any way. You and your blog were hope for so many people. You were the "you are not crazy" of the final weeks, and I'm forever grateful to you. Instead of dying of anxiety I managed to have a blast in this time of waiting, thanks to you. I passed my master thesis, because you gave me strength to see past the fear. I laughed in those weeks more than in last 5 years, and all of it because of the hope you gave me.
The rest of the msg is going to be pretty emotional rant about the awfulness of it all, and I know my opinion doesn't matter to anyone but I wanted someone important to me to hear my thoughts, if that's ok. It's also ok if you don't want to read it ofc. It's like my breakup letter to the show.
I hear many people cheering for the finale and i find it really hard to deal with. I always considered myself an open person who fights for healthy love as the only redeeming quality of the universe. I could see people's point of view, even if it didn't sit well with mine, and I would always try to hear them out respectfully until they weren't being respectful themselves. That said, I'm fully unable to understand cheering for this type of spiteful content and hearing those cheers makes me feel like the entire world is listening to "this is how you treat your fans, this is how to abuse your power over naive sheep, this is how to keep dumb, hopeful minorities in check" and taking notes.
It also upsets me that the people who gave this show all of themselves and tried to understand it to the core are given no resolution, are spitted on and buried under the rug for doing their best to appreciate the art and the story it was telling. Yet people, who just hang around and watch the show doing the dishes, with no consideration to it's story or characters, got as nonsensical ending as their whole idea of character development in SPN.
I know people say that it was good enough, because it leaves space for guessing and own interpretation, but I feel it's really undermining the extend to which the finale was awful and hurtful to the fans. There is no end that realistically could stop fanfic writers from finding way around it in the world of Supernatural, so saying it was thoughtful of them Is like excusing abusive partner because "they could hit me harder, but they didn't. That means they care"
Lose ends, characters being written in a way that is totally not true to them and their development (personally my biggest allegation), dismissing years of story development, proving that it was all 'queerbaiting' in big part in the end (hell, even the whole "Cas is in heaven so do with it what you will" is a shameful way of appalling to LGBTQ community after using them so hard.
In the pie scene, the roles should be swapped, it's Dean who should say that Cas is on his mind and Sam explaining him that it's only right to keep on living doing good in their name. That's what Dean told Sam at the beginning of the season, when Sam lost Rowena, so it would be at least a bit poetic. This would at least give us some truth from Dean for once, but he died how he lived, in shadow of his fear to be true towards his feelings and needs. And as he died, he bound his little brother to the hunting till the end of his days, by guilting him into it on his deathbed. Guess Dean took after his father.
Have you realised what that emotional "love speech" from Dean to Sam resulted in? It was writers taking back Cas' confession after they didn't need our viewership anymore.
They basically gave us love confession to get us to follow the finale and when they didn't need us anymore, not only they didn't commit to the confession, but they undermined it by having Dean's speech to Sam go the way it did with obviously higher emotional charge, successfully taking back the value of Cas' confession and making it about a bait for "Tumblr idiots"
Finale killed my feelings towards Destiel, not because it wasn't confirmed canon, but because from what I see in the episode, they canonically confirmed that
- for Dean, Cas was only means to an end, which is such an awful way of ending Cas' character arc. They gave him everything he was scared of and nothing close to consolation price and they dare to tell us he had a happy ending, "because they said so". Well, I didn't see him being happy, and knowing what i textually know i can empathise enough to say that he faced a miserable finish. Even Chuck got an end that was better than Cas' fate.
- Dean, given power to do anything he could dream of, chooses to not even greet Cas, after Cas gave his whole life to Dean, told him he loved him and died for him. I know some people consider the little smirk of Dean confirmation of his feelings, but let's be real for just a second. If someone you deeply loved for years confessed to you, told you they thought you don't love them back, you would be freaking running to see them and tell them how much you love them. That smirk to me reads as "I'm relieved to know you're not going to spend eternity in mega hell that i left you in" and we really need to stop giving credit to writers for scraps like this when it's the last episode ever and we know this isn't going anywhere.
Not to mention that by having Jack bring Cas back behind the scenes it just highlights the fact that Dean didn't ask him to do that in episode 19.
As result, I'm unable to look at any Destiel scene and not think "in here Cas already loved him and in here Dean already abuses the power he had over Cas, because of his one-sided love"
And yet, the episode and endgames for everyone (maybe not Sam, but he was seriously pinning for Dean his entire life. Wincest much?) managed to be so bad, that not even bringing Cas back or following up on Destiel would make a difference in my eyes. I know you believe that Destiel would save it, but for me as much as it would be a redeeming quality, it wouldn't be enough to save this awfulness that writer doomed characters with.
And all the Wincest scenes in the finale... I low key expected them to make out and it made me feel physically sick. Also, cutting Misha out because of coronavirus is a cheap excuse. We all know better than to believe that, so let's not fall for the self pity play from the abuser.
If you managed to stay with me till this point, thank you so much for hearing me out. I hope i didn't anger you with my monologue. I will always think of the lamp when i think of you. The reality is that you were the lamp for so many of us in this darkness.
Love you so much, wish all the best to you, take care of yourself and stay safe!
Oh my god, if I didn’t cry with the final, I definitely am crying now. And now I have to explain my partner why I’m staring at my laptop and sobbing ugly. What have you done? 
First of all, I hear you pain, my friend! I share it! I didn’t spend a second after the final without the feeling of my heart being shuttered into million pieces, being stitched back just to break again, and so on and so on. 
I had my first panic attack in two years yesterday, when I kept thinking about the message the show sent to the fandom via Dean’s fate. I have a few posts in my draft on the matter, but I am not sure I will ever share them, because it is one strong depresso, and I don’t think people following me should see how fucked up it really is (if they didn’t get it by themselves, of course). 
I want to remind you, my gentle soul, that the story belongs to us. We know Dean, we know Cas, we know Sam and others. We know that the final is not who they are! I know it’s hard to ignore the text, the canon, because it’s kinda godsent, but the truth is essential. And the final is not the truth.
The truth: 
Cas loves Dean, he sacrificed himself for him, he saved his life on multiple occasions, he told all those beautiful things and he meant every word.
Dean loves Cas, he was on his lowest every time he lost him, Cas was his “big win”, his best friend, his brother, his white light that lead him out of his anger, hatred and despair. He took a dog and called it Miracle, he was looking for a job to retire from hunting, he didn’t kill Chuck - all of that, because the sacrifice Cas made was not in vain! The message was clear. 
I choose to ignore the “Carry on”, the only attention it is going to get is me creating 20 more mails just to put a one star review there and to drop some more salty or bitter comments with it. Maybe I will read through some reviews, too, add them to my collection. 
Maybe I will one day write here an article from scriptwriting perspective how fucked up in was, because that’s what I can do about it, without throwing up. 
If you can’t ignore it, I understand it. It is painful, it is disrespectful, I hate it as much as you do, probably. 
If there’s anything I can do for you to feel better, just drop me a message, we can talk about it. I am on the lowest, too, but maybe we can help each other.
You say I was your lamp. Let me lead you our of the darkness one more time <3 
CW can suck my metaphorical dick (I’m tagging every angry post with it), but Supernatural is not just the show on CW, it’s a big family. 
And you can’t give up on it! You can’t give up on Dean and Cas, you can’t give up on Destiel! It’s so much bigger then the show itself.
Rediscover the show for yourself, remind yourself that Dean and Cas are real, it was never one sided, it was always something amazing. 
What is real? We are.
Don’t you ever change.
I rather have you, cursed or not.
It’s love, hun, and love always wins. 
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wanderingcas · 3 years
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hey so I saw you post a couple things about not wanting negative comments on your fics and I feel rly bad bc I think if you were vagueposting it may have been in response to the comment I left on your most recent chapter of ascend (I’ve since deleted it, though if it’s still in your inbox I’m sorry I can’t remove that as well). I did read it through before I hit submit, but after seeing what you said I went back, and can see how it could have been interpreted that way; I can tell my tone was just way off, especially for the platform. I’m autistic and have done a lot of work to improve my communication skills and convey appropriate tone, but I still bungle it up sometimes, and I’m sorry about that.
Things get messy on the internet for a variety of reasons, basic miscommunication being one, blurring of boundaries another, mismatch of expectations, etc etc; my intention was to be conversational, like wondering about a plot point not touched on, sandwiched between things I really liked about it. In retrospect I am seeing that even if that tone had been appropriately conveyed, that’s still a boundary you would prefer not to be crossed, particularly not in that setting uninvited.
Tumblr can add a layer of complexity bc of how friendly and informal and blunt so much of it is, and I think perhaps because I’ve read so much of your work and follow you here, it skewed the relationship baseline I was aiming from. For example, if I were talking to a friend about their work, I believe that tone would be less likely to cause hurt or offense, if that makes sense, or at least that has been my experience...though now that I’m thinking about it, still maybe not on a public comment platform! So again I am realizing the layers of my error here.
I’m not explaining to minimize your feelings or absolve myself of blame, but because by describing it this way I better understand what I did, where I went wrong, and how to improve going forward. I would rather be embarrassed and work through it than experience this social faux pas and be too ashamed to leave comments at all in the future. I can understand the position you have taken about not wanting negative comments, and I definitely get that you and all fic authors and other fanwork creators put in the time and effort and make yourselves vulnerable by sharing that effort for free, only hoping for some positive feedback in response.
Although I’ve definitely had good interactions with some authors over the years via comments and included some not-exclusively-positive feedback without issue, it’s wrong to assume that that is everyone’s stance. It’s absolutely every author’s prerogative to decide what types of comments to accept, and I mean that without judgment. As a non-neurotypical person (who often needs explicit statements of acceptable social behavior to adequately modulate my communication), this has reminded me that it is safer and kinder to assume that someone wants positive-only until otherwise demonstrated.
I apologize for any hurt caused by my inappropriate and badly phrased comment. Thank you for sharing your work, and for enforcing your boundary about what type of comment you’d prefer to accept.
hi, anon! just to clarify - are you the commenter that made a post about wanting more of Jack in the epilogue? Because i want to absolve you of some blame right now - I actually wasn't vagueposting toward you at all. I got really bad anon hate yesterday? two days ago? toward my fic (I deleted it, blocked the anon, and never posted it), as well as anons in the past - and I've also been seeing fellow writer friends go through some of the same issues. My post was less of a vague post necessarily and more of a general "let's review fandom etiquette" lol. Know that my post about that, and the subsequent discourse with that anon, was absolutely not directed at you.
When I got your comment I will admit it made me a little uncomfy - mostly because when I've gotten those comments in the past, they're layered with an added "this is what I wanted and you didn't do it so I'm angry and telling you about it", but that's not what you did in your comment - I understood where you were coming from, even if it did make me pause a bit. So i just want to let you know that you shouldn't feel shame or awkward or anything like that. I agree that tone and intention can get lost over the internet, and the relationship between reader and author can be tricky sometimes - particularly if you want to offer an opinion that might not be taken as completely positive? But it sounds like you are aware of that, and I do appreciate you taking the time to self-reflect.
And just as a quick note - in the past, there have been fics I've asked to get feedback on from readers - like La Hantise, for example, which I since deleted to rework as an original fic. I really wanted readers to point out what parts worked for them, and what parts didn't, and I specifically stated that in the author's notes on every chapter. Looking back, that may have been why our signals crossed got crossed, if you've been following my fics before. And usually I am pretty open to opinions in comments? But "ascend" in particularly has gotten some really entitled, really awful comments (again, not putting yours in that category!) so I've had to guard myself a bit with that fic. Maybe it's because it's a fix it fic, and everyone wants different things out of the finale to be fixed. Maybe it's because tensions are high. I dunno. Either way, i've had to build some walls around myself so i don't want to stop posting supernatural fic altogether lol.
So yeah, this is a messy way of saying - thank you for coming to apologize in case you needed to, but know the post wasn't about you. It was a general vent about the unwanted criticism and vitriol that some writers have been receiving lately on their fics. Like, really mean-spirited stuff lol. It wasn't my intention to make anyone paranoid, especially because comments on fics are great and lovely and I'm not about to drag anyone through the mud even if a comment made me a little sad, but I can tell their intentions are good. Usually in that case I just disengage and think about how to process it on my own end. <3
That all being said, i really really appreciate you taking the time to come to my inbox and say all this. You're one of the good ones, you really are. And people like you make me want to keep posting fic. Truly.
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duhragonball · 3 years
Text
‘21
Amidst all the popular hype for seeing the end of 2020, it didn’t hit me until about lunchtime what the real highlight is that I’ve been waiting for: For the first time since 1999, the year finally ends in “numberty-number” again.    It low-key irritated me that we had to call it “two thousand three” and I was relieved when “twenty-thirteen” caught on, but it still wasn’t right because it was too short, and now we’re back in the sweet spot, and I should be safely dead by 2100, so that’s one less thing I gotta deal with.
Really, even “numberty hundred” rings true to me.    “Nineteen hundred” sounds like a year.    “Twenty-one-oh-six” sounds like a futur-y year, which is even cooler.   So did “Two thousand five”, until I was actually living in it, and it sounds even worse now that it was a long time ago and adults will talk about their childhood happening in that year.    Daniel Witwicky would be old enough to get married and grow a fancier beard than me.    That’s nuts.    My point is that, honestly, it’s the year 3000-3019 that I have to worry about, so if I ever decide to go vampire, those will be the years I hide in the ocean or force society to reset the calendar, whichever’s easier.  
I spent New Year’s Eve finishing Superliminal, which I bought on Steam after I watched Vegeta play it on YouTube.  It has a similar look and feel to the Stanley Parable, so if you liked one you’d probably enjoy the other, although Superliminal has a different theme.  I kept hoping I’d find some secret passage that I wasn’t supposed to take, and a narrator would scold me for finding the “Chickenbutt Ending”, but it doesn’t work that way.    Superliminal’s all about puzzles and awesome visuals, but it does have the same soothing design aesthetics as TSP.   Honestly, I enjoyed just wandering around in Stanley’s office, and Superliminal does the same thing with a hotel and several other settings.   It’s nice.
This got me thinking about how I kind of did everything there was to do in The Stanley Parable, and I sort of wished they would add new stuff to the game, but I’m not sure there would be much point to that.    I could play the older version, but it presents the same message, just with different assets.   The Boss’s Office would look different, but it’d be the same game.   And this got me thinking about various “secret chapters” in pop culture.  Secrets behind the cut.
I first heard about this idea in the 2000′s, when fans invented this notion that there was a secret chapter of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.    I read a website that tried to explain the concept, and of course it lauded J.K. Rowling with all this gushing praise for working an Easter egg into the book, a literary work of “well, magic.”  
That pretty well sums up my distaste for Harry Potter, by the way.    These days, JKR has thoroughly crapped all over her reputation and legacy, but in the 2000′s it felt like half the planet was in a mad rush to canonize her as a writing goddess, to the point where fans were congratulating her for writing secret chapters that didn’t actually exist.   The idea was based on lore from the books about Neville Longbottom’s parents.    They were patients in a mental hospital, and he’d go to visit them, and they would give him bubble gum wrappers, intended to demonstrate how far remove they’ve become from reality.   The secret chapter lies in those wrappers, which all read “Droobles Best Blowing Gum” or some such.    What if Neville’s parents were only pretending to be mentally ill, so as to throw off their enemies?   Naturally, they would want to stay in contact with their son, so the bubble gum wrappers would have to contain coded messages.    Said code involves unscrambling the letters on the wrappers to make new words, like “goblin” or “sword” or “Muggle” or “Dumbledore”.    The problem is that you can also use it to make other words like “booger” or “drool” or “booobbiess.”   Play with it enough, and you can make the code say anything you want it to say, which means it’s no code at all.   
But the idea was that the not-yet-published sixth HP book would reveal all of this gum wrapper nonsense, and Neville would decode the messages and discover all of his parents’ super-cool adventures.   I’m not sure why we needed a secret chapter if Book 6 was going to explain all of this anyway in several not-secret chapters, but that was the whole point.   Fans didn’t have Book 6 yet, and they were so desperate to read it that they started trying to extrapolate what would happen next based on “clues” from the previous five.    That’s like trying to figure out what Majin Buu looks like by watching the Androids Saga.   I guess some wiseguy would have guessed that he’d resemble #19, but that’d just be blind luck.  
And when you get down to it, this whole secret chapter business is really just a conspiracy.   This is literally how Qanon works.   Some anonymous jackass posted vague “hints” on an imageboard, and people went goofy trying to interpret them and figure out what would happen in the future.   They call it “research” because they spend a ton of time on this, but there’s no basis to any of it.    It took me a few minutes to figure out that you can spell “Muggle” with the words in “Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum”, but that’s not research and it doesn’t prove anything.   But all these guys keep looking for “Hilary Clinton goes to jail next week” and lo and behold that’s all they ever find.   
In the same vein, the gum wrapper thing was really a complaint disguised as a conspiracy, disguised as a “magical secret chapter”.   At least a few fans wanted to see more Neville in their Harry Potter books, they wanted Neville’s parents, or someone like them, to have cool spy adventures or whatever else.   The point is, they clearly weren’t getting what they wanted out of the printed works, but they didn’t want to turn against their Dear Beloved Author, so they started casting about for an alternative reality, one where J.K. Rowling wrote a cooler story and hid it in the pages of the one that actually went to press.    So instead of just saying “Hey, Order of the Phoenix was kind of a letdown, I hope there’s more ninjas in the next book,” they said “Rowling is a genius because I wanted ninjas and she’s definitely going to give them to me, I have the gum wrappers to prove it.”
The same thing happened all over again when the BBC Sherlock show took a turn for the nonsensical.    I don’t know from BBC Sherlock, but I watched the fascinating video critique by Hbomberguy, and it sounds like the show did tons of plot twists until it stopped making sense altogether in the fourth season.    If you skip to 1:09:00 in the video, you’ll hear about fan theories that suggested that season four was supposed to be crappy, as part of a secret meta-narrative plan that would be paid off in a secret, unannounced episode that would not only explain everything, but retroactively justify the crappy episodes that came before.    But it’s been a few years and it never came to pass, so I think we can call this myth busted. 
Most recently, I think we’ve all seen a lot of talk about the final season of Supernatural, where I guess Destiel sort of became canon but only one guy does the love confession and the other doesn’t respond.   But I guess he does say “I love you too”  in the Spanish dub, which means the English language version was edited for whatever reason.    It’s not exactly a secret episode, but the implication is that there’s more to this than what made it to the screen.    So the questions turn to what the screenplay said, what the writers and actors wanted to do, etc. etc.    My general impression is that SPN fans are a bit more used to crushing disappointment, so they’re not quite as delusional about this show being unquestionable genius, like Sherlock and Harry Potter.     Maybe this is an Anglophile thing?   Like, if you suck at something with a British accent, people will accept it more unconditionally?   
I had seen something on Twitter about how there should have been a secret Seinfeld episode in the 90′s.    Someone suggested it at the time, they tape a whole episode, then wait until 2020 to air it, because by then it would be worth a fortune.    But they didn’t do it, because it costs a lot of money to make a TV episode, and if you don’t air the show right away, you aren’t making that money back any time soon.    Yeah, you might recoup a fortune someday, but Seinfeld was making a ton of money then.    It exposes the fannish nature of the idea.    A fan would love to discover a cool secret chapter, but a content creator isn’t necessarily keen on making a cool thing and then hiding it where few people would find it.  
I thought about doing this myself recently.   Maybe Supernatural gave me the bug, but I thought “I’m writing this big-ass story, so what if I wrote me a secret chapter for it?   Wouldn’t that be cool?”     But no, it wouldn’t be cool, because it’d be the same work as writing a regular chapter, and the same stress I feel when I hold off on publishing it.    Except I’d just never publish it, I’d put it in some secret hole on the internet and hope that some superfan who might not even exist can decode whatever clues I leave.  
I mean, it’d be awesome if it got discovered and everyone loved it.    “Hey, I found this hidden chapter!   Mike’s done it again!”   And I could bask in the glory.   But what if no one finds it?  Then I just wasted my time, right?   I want people to read my work.   My monkey brain needs the sweet, sweet validation of those kudos and comments, folks.   Once I realized that, I understood why no one else would want to do a secret chapter either.    Easter eggs are one thing, but the bigger bonus features they put on DVDs were pretty easy to find, and with good reason.
I think that’s what made the Stanley Parable so appealing to play, because it teases you with the idea that you can “break” the game and find some extra content that you weren’t supposed to see, but as you go exploring all those hidden areas, it gradually becomes clear that this is just part of the game; you were meant to find all these things, and that’s why they were put here.      It’s hidden, but he secret aspect of it is just pretend.   
I suppose that what I like about games like TSP and Superliminal is the illusion of secrets more than the secrets themselves.    I like roaming through the hallways, having no idea what I might find ahead.    I kind of wish I could open all the doors, and not just the ones the game designers put stuff behind, but the reality is that there’s nothing on the other side.    I used a cheat code once  to explore the unused doors in TSP and it’s just a bright white field on the other side.   Interesting to look at, but not much of a reveal.   Honestly, the doors themselves are more appealing than anything that could lay behind them.  
And that’s probably what makes secrets so fun.   They could be almost anything, but once you open the present, the number of possibilities drops to one.   If they had ever made that Secret BBC Sherlock Episode, I doubt it would have lived up to expectations, but fans could amuse themselves by imagining what could have been in it.    In the end, though, things usually don’t justify the hype.  For every Undertaker debut at Survivor Series 1990, there’s a Gobbledygooker debut at Survivor Series 1990.   It’s impossible to manufacture a secret with a guaranteed payoff.   
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memento-more-tea · 4 years
Text
Can we talk about just how potentially alienating the Fledgling’s experiences were in Bloodlines?
Disclaimer: This is more generally speaking- obviously reactions to trauma and worldview altering information are going to vary by person. I’m not trying to say this is how everyone’s Fledgling has to react to the events of Bloodlines. Plus, this may not be as applicable to Low Humanity Fledglings.  These are just my thoughts on a likely reality some iterations of the Fledgling would have to deal with once the dust settles.
The Fledgling went through an insane amount of traumatizing experiences during a relatively short period of time. The game doesn’t really give us a way to easily measure the passage of time, but it all seems to unfold rather quickly given the dialogue in the game. The Bloodlines Wiki puts it at 11 nights, just under two weeks, but I think you could argue a bit more spacing out to be more “realistic.” After all, there’s travel time, time spent figuring out what to do and where to go, possibly doing some recon on places before attacking, gathering supplies for different missions, healing from missions... I’ve seen forum posts where people estimated up to two or three months just based on how often the Fledgling can give Heather blood.  That seems a bit long to me, and the game doesn’t follow V20 rules perfectly, so there is some leeway there. I’d estimate the events probably unfolded within a month or less, given the urgency with which the Fledgling is asked to do some tasks. 
While it would be foolish to say there is a “typical” neonate/fledgling experience, its probably safe to say this isn’t the usual experience.  Sure, plenty are left sireless, and plenty have probably been thrown into a war they had no choice in by area elders.  But to be sireless and asked to single handedly:
Face down a Tzimisce elder and his army of creations
Obliterate one faction’s entire presence in the city
Wipe out not one but TWO groups of hunters, including the complete destruction of one of their home bases
Purge a masquerade breaking doomsday cult (admittedly optional, but pretty necessary if the Fledgling intends to get into the good graces of people who might actually stand a chance of helping them against LaCroix)
Assassinate TWO leaders of powerful factions
Again, that’s all within likely 3 - 9 weeks. No backup, no help when it comes down to the parts where the Fledgling is risking their unlife. And that isn’t counting the messed up shit they get put through they didn’t expect, like:
Jeanette’s betrayal 
Therese’s subsequent attempted murder
Oh, hey, GHOSTS ARE REAL TOO, which implies an afterlife of some kind? Depending on the Fledgling’s spiritual beliefs and general disposition, this could seriously layer onto the existential shitshow (if they had enough of a breather to even process that)
Potentially facing down a serial killer who turns his victims into amputees before letting them die of blood loss or infections. 
(I mean, there’s also the OTHER serial killer, but at least that one the Fledgling has to actively stick their nose into)
Meeting Pisha, who admittedly is a goddess, but unless the Fledgling is really low humanity, watching her chow down on raw people would be... upsetting
Almost getting torn into itty bitty pieces by a WEREWOLF, WHICH ARE ALSO APPARENTLY REAL
Even given the more generous timeline interpretations, that is a LOT of near death experiences, betrayals, and just generally messed up shit to go through in such a short period of time. And largely without any kind of emotional support system. Whatever family or friends they have from their old life would be put in too much danger to contact them, and if the Fledgling is a Nosferatu? Forget it. The Fledgling can only really trust two people according to the game: Mercurio and Beckett. Aside from the fact the Fledgling would only know this if they spoke to Rosa and believed her, this still doesn’t mean they are emotional supports. While Mercurio would not willingly betray the Fledgling (assuming they didn’t rat him out), it would be deeply unwise to give him any kind of information LaCroix could dominate out of him and use against them.  Beckett doesn’t have that issue, but he also isn’t around a whole lot. I guess if the Fledgling kept Heather, they could lean on her for emotional support, but she doesn’t seem like she’d be the most helpful. Nor can she really understand everything they’re going through.
But because of all this, things may not necessarily be any better once the dust has settled after the events of the game have concluded.  The Fledgling is in an arguably unique position where they are both vastly more experienced than a lot of other younger vampires... yet they are still incredibly green.  There is also still SO much they have yet to learn about kindred society, politics, and traditions. Their first month or so was a great crash course. to be sure, but it was only a crash course. They haven’t experienced the finer intricacies of kindred politics or assimilated to the time scale on which older kindred live and plot.  Especially considering kindred don’t seem to move cities a lot, at least not the older and more powerful ones.  You have a community of paranoid predators who have known each other for generations- the web of relationships, alliances and grudges forged across the span of generations, the depth to which some kindred come to understand their enemies.  Some political maneuvers take place over not days or months but decades, centuries, even millennia.  They may not have to deal with it right away in Anarch heavy LA, but they’ll have to face it eventually, especially if the Fledgling decides to side with Strauss.  And with such an impressive list of accomplishments under their belt at such a tender age, the Fledgling is sure to attract attention from elder kindred whether they want to or not.
All this could easily result in a difficulty relating to younger kindred, especially ones with smoother transitions into kindred society and more sheltered “upbringings.” Hell, they might even harbor resent or misplaced rage towards kindred closer to their “age” who weren’t put through the meat grinder right out of the gate like they were.  Just the sheer frustration of trying to socialize with kindred who haven’t experienced just how dangerous and treacherous the supernatural world is- especially if they have sires who keep them living safe and comfortable.  But at the same time, there would also be a difficulty relating to older kindred. Differences in perceptions of time aside, I can imagine the Fledgling and a much older kindred talking and the older kindred mistaking them as older than they are, only for there to be a jarring moment where a “basic” or “commonly known” concept or information has to be explained.  Sort of like how adults sometimes tell children who were forced to grow up too fast because of trauma or unhealthy family dynamics that they have “old souls.” 
It could also show up in differences in levels of humanity. Not even in a bad way, just the memories are so much FRESHER for the Fledgling. They can still remember when sunlight didn’t cause agony. They remember the taste of their favorite food. Their grief over losing their old life and/or loved ones hasn’t had any time to dull or heal. In that sense, they just aren’t where older kindred who have become more removed from humanity and begun forgetting things are. At the same time, the Fledgling has been forced to, or even chosen to, commit actions other kindred closer to their age may not have had to contemplate yet. They’ve faced horrors some younger kindred may not yet know exist. And that’s likely shaped the Fledgling, one way or another.
Now obviously, the World of Darkness is, well, pretty dark. There’s a lot of bad shit out there. I’m sure there are plenty of younger vampires who have Been Through It and seen some horrible things, just like the Fledgling. Plus, this sense of feeling out of place would definitely ease as time went on. And again, everyone reacts differently.  A given iteration of the Fledgling may not struggle with this, or may even be grateful in a sense to have been thrown into the deep end and proven themselves so quickly.  Alternatively, a Fledgling might actively use being thrown so far into the deep end to build community. Their experiences help make them more valuable to older kindred and allow them to relate in a way other baby vamps might not be able to.  Likewise, they can become a mentor or leader to other young kindred, leveraging their experience and reputation while also being able to relate more easily to being a freshly turned vamp because they, ya know, still are one. 
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millennialzadr · 5 years
Text
WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!
HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO
So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌
it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)
I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)
But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️
[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]
SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%
so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)
(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)
NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY
- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK
- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…
- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.
- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s  escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.
- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy  щ(ಠ益ಠщ)
- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.
so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!
-
SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!
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statementends · 5 years
Note
Okay that cousins au thing was The Cutest Shit and if you’re still taking prompts... more of that? In whatever way you wana interpret that
So this story happens in a universe that is sort of a blend of By the Seashore and Broken Web.
By the Seashore involves Gerard on vacation with his little cousin Martin who he takes to the beach and helps him win the attentions of his crush, Jon. 
Broken Web takes place a few years later. Gerard saves Jon from A Guest for Mr. Spider and comforts him. He promises to remain Jon’s pen pal and tell him more about the supernatural. Jon and Gerry do not recognize each other from the events of By the Seashore
This story takes place when Jon and Martin are thirteen and Gerard is about twenty. The timeline is a bit shaken up since Mary doesn’t bind herself to the book until 2008 when Jon and Martin would be twenty-one. In this universe it happens earlier. 
Characters: Gerard Keay, Martin Blackwood, Jonathan Sims
Pairings: Minor Jon/Martin background in this chapter
Rating: T
Warnings: Parental neglect, homophobia. The story starts out sad, but I do plan for warmer feelings in the later chapters. 
Summary: Gerard opens the door of Pinhole Books the summer after his acquittal. Standing in front of him is his younger cousin asking if he can stay with him. 
AO3: Link
-
Gerard almost didn’t get the door.
It wasn’t like he got any customers for the dingy old bookstore by appointment or otherwise. When there was a ring it meant the paparazzi or some busy body wanting to see ‘where it happened.’ He wanted to sell it, but his mother wouldn’t let him. It was tempting to burn the place down when she was weakened.
After the mistrial he had tried for normal as he had done in the past. It hadn’t lasted long. Didn’t help that people recognised him. He considered cutting his hair short and bleaching it, but the thought of it made him wince. He’d rather be miserable as himself rather than miserable as someone else.
The buzzer rung again. He sighed, but decided to shoo off whoever it was bothering him. Last time he had left it someone had tried climbing through the window not knowing they were already nailed shut.
He opened the door. His scowl switched to confusion.
He had grown a lot. He would still be one of the tallest boys in his class, he already overtook Gerry. The chubbiness hadn’t faded any and the freckles had multiplied. He was big, and if it wasn’t for his babyface he might be mistake for a full grown man, as it was Gerard recognised him as his thirteen year old cousin, Martin Blackwood.
“Why…” The answer was probably Gerard’s luck honesty. It had been… a very bad year. Not that he disliked Martin, but…
Well, whatever this was it was going to complicate his already complicated life, he could feel it.
Martin was trying very hard to smile, but there was a watery look to him. Brittle. He opened his mouth to speak, but inhaled suddenly, as if realizing he couldn’t bring himself to start the sentence.
Gerard frowned. “Martin?”
“I–” Martin’s voice cracked. “Could I maybe stay with you for a little while? I… I don’t have anywhere to…” He crumpled and quickly wiped tears from his eyes.
Oh shit.
Gerard looked wildly around. He couldn’t bring him upstairs. He couldn’t slam the door and say no, which was tempting only because if Martin thought he would find safe shelter here, he was very much mistaken.
“I…” Gerard said slowly. “You… you know about the…” He gestured. Surely his Aunt had told him. Not that she had kept in touch for more than the occasional Christmas card, especially in the last few years, but she had been pretty clear about him staying the fuck away from her. She rung him up the night he got out of prison.
Martin nodded miserable and hesitant. “I don’t–they wouldn’t have let you go if you had done it.” He offered weakly.
Gerard shrugged. Honestly they would have jailed him. He knew he didn’t do it and knew there wasn’t much of a chance of convincing anyone otherwise unless he wanted to show them his mother’s ghost. Martin’s uncertainty did hurt a little though.
“You must be desperate then…” Gerard sighed. He still had Martin on the doorway. He quickly glanced around. No one seemed to be watching, but that didn’t mean someone with a camera wasn’t around the corner. He relented and pulled back.
“Close the door behind you and lock it,” He told Martin.
“Y-Yes of course, thank you Gerard.”
“Don’t thank me yet, we need to talk about this.” Gerard led him up the stairs. He felt the usual claustrophobia of all the books stacked around him. He lead Martin to his room. It was the only place free of clutter and the stench of paper and the crawl of silverfish. He sat on his chair at his desk and Martin sat on his bed. Martin looked amazed in the way someone is amazed by a house fire. There was no way he could let him live here even if his mother wasn’t literally haunting him.
“So.” Gerard said. No use beating around the bush. “What happened? Why are you here?”
Martin bowed his head. He played with the hem of his shirt. “Do I… do I have to say, Gerard? I… Mum kicked me out and I … there’s no one else…”
“She kicked you out?” Gerard asked. His Aunt had never struck him as a warm woman. He had only spent a long length of time with her once, a summer vacation in Bournesmouth. She didn’t seem to be a particularly tolerant woman, but Martin did his best to be obedient. Only a kid but he was well behaved… maybe… maybe too well behaved…
Martin was nodding still playing with his hem, not meeting Gerard’s eyes.
Gerard almost asked what he did, but caught himself. He doubted it had anything to do with what Martin had done and more to do with the fact that she was a terrible woman.
Must run in the esteemed Von Closen line.
“What happened,” he asked instead. “I won’t hold any of it against you.”
“I… you can’t know that you won’t.”
“Martin I was suspected of murdering my own mother,” Gerard said bluntly. Maybe to shock Martin out of it. “There’s not a whole lot worse than that.”
“You didn’t do it though.” Martin said, more certain this time.
Gerard sighed. “Right, but I’ve had a lot of people hold things against me, so I’m not inclined to do that… especially not to family.” Not that family inspired anything in him really, Martin was probably the only exception.
“I’m … I…” Martin took a deep breath. “I’m gay.”
“Right.” Gerard couldn’t be less surprised by the revelation considering he facilitated Martin getting to spend time with his first summer crush. He felt a weird sort of emptiness though. Mary Keay wasn’t a good mother, but he had a cold comfort certainty she would never abandon him.
There was a long pause. Gerard shrugged.
“I… already knew,” He said thinking it might put Martin more at ease. Martin looked terrified.
“You can tell?” He squeaked.
“Oh–no. I mean… you and your friend that you played with that summer. Jack? Josh? You were obviously smitten.”
Martin’s cheeks heated. “Oh…” He said softly. “I… I never thought of it like that… but… yeah…” He looked down. “I guess it’s weird to want to marry a boy you just met.”
“It’s not weird,” Gerard said. He felt tired all of the sudden. He can only imagine what Martin’s Mother said to him before throwing him out of the house. “It’s just… love.” he shrugged. He didn’t really have any sort of experience with that sort of thing, but he knew it was stupid for people to get offended over it.
Martin still had an ashamed look on his face.
Gerard wasn’t sure how to comfort him. He had embraced a very alternative lifestyle at the age of eleven. Was used to sneers and jeers and assumptions about his personal life. Had the shit kicked out of him a few times for it. He had never slept with anyone to make either side of the argument true, but he considered beautiful people beautiful, and the idea of masculinity incomplete and shortsighted. Gay probably wasn’t quite what he was, but he was certainly queer. It had just… it hadn’t mattered. It wasn’t a worry, it was just… part of him. Like liking oranges and getting sunburned easily.
But for Martin this was probably the most afraid he had been in his life.
“You’re fine,” Gerard said. “Hey.”
Martin looked up.
“You’re fine,” He repeated.
Tears spilled down Martin’s face.
“Th–Thank you. Gerard.”
Gerard got up and sat beside him on the bed. He squeezed his shoulder awkwardly. Martin instantly pressed in quietly shaking on his shoulder. He gave his back a few pats, but let him cry it out. It was uncomfortable. So uncomfortable, but the kid needed it, and Gerard was emotionally distant for his own sake, but he wasn’t emotionally dead.
His crying subsided eventually.
“Why don’t you rest in here for a bit, I’ll get us some food. That alright?”
Martin nodded. “Y-yes. You really don’t mind me staying?”
Gerard knew he should kick him out. Give him to child services and let the government sort him out because keeping him here was a bad idea.
Maybe he was lonely… or maybe it was because he wanted to believe family did matter in the good ways. Maybe it was just Martin’s lost look. Whatever it was he nodded.
“Long as you like,” He told him.
Gerard left the room and headed upstairs to his mother’s old office. He dug around and found a plain brown box, packing tape, and a sharpy, as well as enough stampage. He stared at the book he had avoided touching knowing she might pop out at any moment.
“Right.” He inhaled slowly. Slipped the book into the box and wrapped it. Carefully wrote out the address of the Magnus Institute.
If anyone could hold her it was them.
He went out and threw the book in the post, then grabbed some curry and headed back. He opened the door and stepped on the junkmail. There was a letter among it all in familiar and precise handwriting. He dipped and picked it up, slipping it in his pocket. He knocked on the door.
“Come in!” Martin said. His voice sounded a lot stronger.
“So, it’s actually good timing if you don’t mind the work,” Gerard said as if Martin was just here to visit him. “I need to pack up and sell this place.”
“You’re moving?”
“Yeah,” Gerard nodded. There was a strange lift inside him saying it out loud. “I mean… we are…”
Martin nodded eagerly. “Right. I can help!”
“We don’t have to start right now, eat your curry.”
“In here?”
“The place is a disaster,” Gerard said. “I’m almost tempted to burn it all and save some time.”
Martin laughed. The first time he heard since he got here. Small and a bit timid, but there all the same.
-
He gave Martin his bedroom and made do on an old couch in a room Gerard couldn’t have put a name to. It was full of books like the rest. So more of the store. He remembered the letter and pulled it out. Neatly written in Jon’s handwriting:
Dear Gerry,
You haven’t written back since my last letter and I’ve lost patience with you which is why I’m writing now. If you’re trying to protect me, or think that I might think the worst of you for what I’ve read in the papers you’ll find yourself very much mistaken. All you’re doing is being stubborn and thickheaded.
I know that you didn’t kill your mother, and if you did, you probably had a good reason for it and she probably wouldn’t have been considered anyone’s mother anymore, so you need to write me back, or I’ll break the promise we made and come straight to this address and make you talk to me.
Gerry snorted at that. He’d like to see Jon try. He hadn’t seen the weedy boy in years, but he had the feeling he hadn’t grown all that much.
So. Write back to me. You said you would. I know whatever happened you did what you had to. And I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you’re okay.
Sincerely,
Jonathan Sims, Bournemouth  
P. S. I think I’m right about the docks.
Gerard scowled at the post script. That little… he sighed. Two thirteen year old boys he had no business looking after. He shook his head.
The ending was nice. Through all of his bluster Jon was worried about him, but if he thought Gerard wouldn’t go down to Bornemouth and kick his arse for going anywhere near the docks after he had explicitly told him not to…
He got up and grabbed a pen and paper.
Jon,
Do. Not. Go. To. The. Docks.
I’ll look into it.
-Gerard
P.S. I’m fine.
He stared at the letter. He should go into it a bit more, but he was too tired for it. He put it in an envelope and addressed it, planning to send it the next day. For now he’d sleep. Try to figure out what to do with Martin.
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homestucky · 5 years
Note
Davekat fic recs?
hrrmm wow i will have to think. ill probs just check my bookmarks which means i probably wont be able to think of many one chapter fics off the top of my head since i dont tend to bookmark them. also some that havent been updated in yrs i wont put here bcaus thats just frustrating unless theyre rlly notable and may come back i may not link them
also disclaimer that while im not super into smut so its unlikely im gonna recommend just porn fics, some may have some sexy times incidentally i suppose. also a lot of them are dave centric/dave POV bcaus hes my BOY
M.C. Escher that’s my favourite MC by Unda (COMPLETE)  is a wild ride and long but i recommend for sure, very well written n thought out. also check out the other fics in the series bcaus if i recall correctly there are some other shorter fics that unda wrote to give some background or develop characters. but theyre also really great even stand-alone! its finished now and i followed it the whole time :0. cw for child abuse and death 
Within, Without by reinkist (COMPLETE)  i actually read a long time ago so i dont remember it so well. i do remember thinking it was pretty great tho, so i do recommend it. i should probably go back for a reread some time. its just a really good meteor fic that explores everything you’d want it to, and does that well, u kno? its like the fic that u wanted to exist but couldnt find. but here it is!
Doc Scratch’s School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents by medical  (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED)is great, its like a multichapter magic/superhero au thing. its fun and characters in it are rlly well developed, like, i do enjoy a davekat fic which has a good and significant rose characterisation in there too. but theres some serious plot goin in in here too…. very exciting. 
To Be Taken Care Of by shitstuck  (COMPLETE)is good, its god some deep convos about troll v human culture and stuff, some rosemary too. bit of body horror but if i can handle it its not too bad. i just reread it lol. the epilogue changes the tone of things a bit n id be interested to know other peoples thoughts on that ;_;
Don’t Forget the Sun by Weevilo707 is rlly good but sadly NOT COMPLETE AND HASNT BEEN UPDATED IN AGES :@!! hope the authors doin ok  (EDIT: APPARENTLY the author is not planning on updating this one again, but i still think its a good read :^) )
Book Covers by turntechGeneticist717  (COMPLETE) is rlly great also!! big recommend. dave is lookin after a babby dirk as his big brother in college. i havent read it in a while but i remember when it was updating being like !!!!!!!!!!!Aaa!! also there are others in the series so take a look :)
The Truth is in the Eyes by AcrylicMist  (COMPLETE)is like a rlly mythological/fantasy interpretation of canon post game which is very cool????? like the world is sort of medieval or something but w the gods n magicky stuff. rlly interesting. , very dope again havent read it in a while and am running out of steam for ranting about fics but!! yea its sweet w an intriguing plot
The Eurydice Suite by callmearcturus  (COMPLETE) !!!!!!!!!!! i love this fic so much like its bonkers n i just. its like an inception sort of inspired au and i have NEVER watched inception but im just super into the concept. its just. a rlly amazing well written fic w perfect pacing and characterisation like the plot is like a beautiful spider web where time flicks back and forth yet makes perfect sense. theres such a sense of atmosphere. ive reread it so many times. also!!1111111 i love the dave in it, and i love the strilondes family relationsy stuff!! i also feel like it ties everything up rlly nicely despite having like all the main characters in it p much. hell yeaaaa. its my fav by this author whos an AMAZING writer like they just DROP U IN to the world with so much confidence and drop context and background in at a perfect pace so ur never confused but always intrigued. but often i find the atmosphere in their fics almost TOO intense u know?? like i feel like i wake up in a ditch after reading one like wh,,h who am i?? i hate using this word but the writing is weirdly like… “sensual” which i think means the writing is great, rlly strong atmosphere but im not  always 100% able to handle it. this one does not make me feel so dazed and its just.. yess
The Lucky Ones by daniomalley (COMPLETE) is another one i followed as it came out. a cool spacey au. sorry i cant think of anything else to say aaaa
Off Court by levvan (ON HIATUS?) is great tho strong themes of abuse from the start. not that none of the above have that if i havent said so uhhhh yea be wary of the tags i guess. but yes. 
three rounds and a sound by skitpost (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) is rlly great, like a magic school au. very excited to see whats gonna happen next :0
We’re All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We’re Sick Of Your Shit) byLandOfMistAndSecrets (COMPLETE) is TECHNICALLY a dirkjake fic but it has very cute little pastiches of other characters and the DK ones are very cute and well characterised
An Alien and a DJ Walk into a Bar (and Accidentally Start a Relationship) by Kadaaver (APPEARS TO BE ON HIATUS) i was p into when it was still updating. theres not actually MUCH relationship stuff yet if i recall correctly but still. good. and i enjoy the characterisation of dave being p socially anxious.
turntechGodhead is offline by forestknifefight (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) well relatively recently. i like this one a lot! theres some good beta kid friendship and some good karkat.
Astronomy in Reverse by PunkZucchini, sicklekind (ON HIATUS>??????) cute + features BIGKAT is i recall correctly
Bring You Down by acedavestrider (COMPLETE) idk what to say about this but thats not a criticism. its just a legit cute fic that is good for the heart. human au, earth n whatever. karkat is a student nurse!! yeaa! thats kind of incidental but i like it
Survival of the Richest by ireallyloveicecream (HIATUS???) theres not a lot of it but im so intrigued. some kind of a fae/magic fairy folk kinda thing
Californian Son by LivTC (COMPLETE BUT THERES MORE IN THE SERIES WHICH I HOPE WILL CONTINUE TO BE UPDATED ETC ETC) !! ok this one is kind of sexy n angsty and daves a REAL DICK in it but it rlly well written and i rlly wanna know more jijhihihu
First Contact by yesfir (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) !! its au but like idk scifi, humans having to make a deal with/coexist with trolls. space colonies!! this one is great… good character development and plot… does that great thing of pacing the revelations of the plot rlly gradually so ur like ! somethings happening here and i must know more!!!
Feathered by AlloftheFandom  (UNFINISHED, RECENTLY UPDATED) this ones exciting :3 karkat has only just been introduced to it. its like a magicky world w a bit of mild body horror so far. some good strilondes also… has anyone noticed that i need strilonde family relations in a fic i love….
Soulmates by egossweetheart  (UNFINISHED (fairly..?) RECENTLY UPDATED) this is a souleater au which i dont know a lot about??? but its cool, i am suitably intrigued. bit of body horror. idk as always check the tags. idek why im bothering to specify that. anyways,
 Vladimir and Estragon Cope with Their Trauma by Volo (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) afterlife au. so yea TW death. im into it tho
The Importance of Being Karkat by choicescarfsylveon (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) karkat has a radioshow, dave is kind of a dick. some parts of that change. i wont spoil which. theres something deeper goin on too…….. mysterios….
anyways here are some fics that i think are cool. sorry it took ages i just wanted to give it a good effort ukno?? its not an exhaustive list but its what i found. thanks to all these authors and hey, while we’re at it, all fanfic authors!! good work and i hope u all know how appreciated it is. anyways i have a headache so i guess ill finish this up. peace!
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leiaryes · 6 years
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for anyone saying bi lance is dead
alright so this is probably going to get a bit long so i’ll put the bulk of it under the cut.
but let’s start with what’s caused this: the interview with jeremy and bex where they supposedly shut down bi lance and anything else that has to do with it. i don’t know what anyone else is seeing, but to me, they neither confirmed nor denied anything. all they talked about was the fact that many people in the fandom take what they say and blow it out of proportion. and, to be fair, they’re not wrong about it. it’s exactly what’s happening right now. they weren’t explicitly saying lance wasn’t bisexual, nor were they confirming that he indeed was. in my opinion, they said the only thing they could. they’re both professionals. they’ve both signed NDAs.  these are their jobs. they can’t just outright say whatever they want just because it’ll please us fans.
now let’s move onto what’s a little more important: THE ACTUAL SHOW ITSELF
look, i don’t know about you guys, but when i analyse this kind of stuff, i try and look at it from a logical point of view. do my shipping goggles sometimes cloud my vision? ABSOLUTELY. i’m a lance and klance stan first, so naturally, my view will sometimes be biased. but everything i’m about to say, i’ve looked at through a logical, storytelling point of view, so let’s get started shall we?
i’m not going to go too much into this first detail because there are hundreds of metas on this already, but if you guys have watched the show, you know how many hints there are of lance being part of the lgbt community. i mean, you could write a post just on the entirety of Taking Flight. The colour coding (the bi and gay flag colours), the looks shared between lance and keith (”hey lance! i got your lion back :) thank you, keith. now, can you come and unchain me?). 
voltron is an animated show. it’s not a live-action, where the way actors interpret scenes can lead people to find things that simply aren’t there (i don’t want to throw anything under the bus, but destiel from supernatural is a prime example of this). with animation though, every little second counts. and for a show like voltron, where each episode is only about 24 minutes, this becomes even more apparent. they wouldn’t waste time, money, and effort into drawing out and animating a scene if it didn’t carry importance. couple that with what JDS and LM have said about including certain facial expressions into characters if they know it plays a role later on, and i have to believe that these “hints” all have reason to be there.
this brings to me to my second point: the bonding moment.
i know this has been mentioned in literally every klance meta ever, but the simple fact that it exists, that the voltron crew took the time and money to animate it, is saying something. it served no purpose other than to establish a bond between lance and keith, in an episode where their friendship wasn’t even at the forefront. they didn’t have a mini arc like in Eye of the Storm, where they were at odds with each other at the beginning, but worked together better by the end. the bonding moment was simply that. a moment, which, from a storytelling point of view, was honestly kind of random. but it existed. the crew used up precious seconds to animate lance and keith grasping hands and smiling at each other, all the while bathed in soft, purple lighting.
if it didn’t mean anything, if it was in no way important, they wouldn’t have placed such a big emphasis on it.
but moving on.
i want to address the picture LM drew when voltron first came out. i’m not going to attach it here, but i know everyone knows what i’m talking about (the picture of the paladins with the signs: race, gender, and lgbt). in it, shiro and lance are holding the lgbt sign. when it first came out, and then especially after the arcs with keith and pidge occurred, many of us believed it meant lance was going to get an arc related to sexuality, and that shiro was going to help him through it. after today, with shiro being confirmed to have had a boyfriend back on earth, some believe that it means voltron has given us the lgbt rep they promised, and that there is nothing more to say. now, i’m extremely happy with shiro’s announcement, but i do not believe voltron is finished. 
everything else in LM’s picture has come true. keith struggled with being galra, and hunk played a role in his arc. pidge struggled with telling the team she was a girl, and allura played a role in her arc. shiro, from what it looks like, does not struggle with being part of the lgbt community. he had a boyfriend. LM confirmed that had it not been for the kerberos mission, he and adam likely would have gotten married. so, shiro is not the one needing help in that regard.
but who else was in that drawing?
lance.
lance, who from day one, has always been about “the ladies”. 
lance, who in my opinion, would struggle immensely if he came to the sudden realization that he also liked boys.
lance, who would indeed go to shiro to ask for advice and help on how to come to terms with it.
in the picture, lance has a very shy smile on his face. he looks as though he is nervous or hesitant, like he is unsure and vulnerable. shiro has a hand on his shoulder and a very calm expression. he is supporting him. 
but voltron would need a logical way for this to occur, and this is where klance comes in.
up until now, if you disregard all the scenes between him and keith, lance has very much been about allura. he likes her, far more than any other girl he’s liked before. if voltron does indeed have lance identify as lgbt, his arc with allura cannot solely be it. it does not make sense for lance to go to shiro, asking for advice on his new attraction to boys, if there’s no boy there to begin with. lance needs to like, or at least be attracted to a boy in order for him to realize that perhaps he’s not straight. and the only logical character for that?
keith.
why? process of elimination. it can’t be hunk, because he and lance simply do not share enough scenes to justify it. it can’t be shiro, because he will be the one to support lance, and i suspect that his arc with adam is far from finished. it can’t be matt, because like hunk, he and lance do not have enough interaction. and it certainly won’t be coran. unless voltron introduces a completely new male character (which at this point, although plausible, is doubtful), the only person left is keith.
and it gives lance another reason to seek shiro’s advice. he knows keith. they’re best friends. brothers. and lance knows it.
another reason it can only be keith?
because, from a storytelling point of view, their arc is unfinished. seasons one, two, and three gave us many interactions between them. they placed a lot of emphasis on their dynamic (”lance and keith, neck and neck”). they built it up from a childish rivalry to a place where both of them felt comfortable enough to go to the other with their insecurities. and then season four came around, and all that growth came to a halt. it left you reeling, because you were expecting their arc to continue as opposed to disappearing.
there was no closure.
arcs are supposed to have endings. if a character has an arc, you are meant to be able to identify the beginning, climax, and end of it. with pidge, her arc came to a close with her finding her brother and father. this does not mean she does not have any more important scenes coming, but from a narrative standpoint, her main conflict has been dealt with. 
with keith and lance, you cannot identify this ending. you can pinpoint the beginning, and you can pinpoint all that has happened after it, but there is no scene that gives us the sense of closure that comes with the ending of an arc. these boys have more coming. their relationship will progress, simply because not doing so would only be bad writing (which granted, voltron has had before, but this does not seem like the kind of thing that has not been thoroughly thought out). and even if they only remain friends, you will be able to feel it when their arc comes to a close.
and, i don’t know about you, but that leaves me feeling pretty excited for what’s yet to come.
so how do i see lance’s sexuality arc playing out?
if voltron does indeed have lance be a part of the the lgbt community, then the way i am about to describe is, in my opinion, the most logical way for it to occur.
the first half of season seven will see lance getting over allura. it will be hard, but he’ll eventually come to terms with it and move on. the second half of the season will see lance and keith’s friendship strengthening, with them interacting more and growing closer. during this time, we might see hints of lance beginning to like keith. he might go to shiro for advice sometime during the end of the season, but i do not see that being likely. not yet, anyway.
the first half of season eight will see keith and lance’s friendship becoming even closer. by this point, if we are getting klance, both of them should like the other, and we as the audience should be able to tell. during the end of this half, or the beginning of the second half of season eight, lance will go to shiro for advice, who will in turn support him and help him better understand his feelings. lance will gain more confidence after this, and the end of the second half of the season should see keith and lance getting together. 
now, all this is hypothetical, but i truly feel that if we are indeed getting lgbt lance and endgame klance, we will be able to see the beginnings of it in the upcoming season. there are only two seasons of the show left, and if we get no convincing klance interactions or lgbt lance hints in season seven, i do not know how likely either have of becoming canon. but i cannot deny the logic. looking at past episodes and seeing the patterns, i truly do believe there is a good chance for both klance and lgbt lance.
now, this has gotten much longer than i intended, so i’m going to end it here. i don’t know how much of this made sense (if any, LOL), but i hope you enjoyed it.
‘till next time, guys!
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haljathefangirlcat · 3 years
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still thinking about that “we Have To Talk about how quips are ruining fandom by destroying meta and turning all fic into shitposts” post @ms-demeanor wrote a great rebuttal to, and about the other posts she wrote about it and about the You’re Doing Fandom Wrong attitude in it, and about the notes on those posts. not gonna reblog or reply to any of those because my thoughts are admittedly kind of random and jumping from place to place and probably OT to the point of the discussion, but you know. still thinking.
so, uh. not trying to start wank or anything but enjoy the ranting that got way out of hand under the cut.
so, like... that one “we can’t just block everyone who quips and shitposts because some of these people also write actual meta but then they unfortunately go back to Not Engaging With Canon by writing quippy shitpost-y stuff” line, or however it was actually phrased? besides the blatant entitlement with the “you have to fandom ONLY in ways I like, I can’t just engage with the part of the content you create that I’m interested in and scroll past the rest” thing (which kinda reminds me of the whole “you can’t CNTW on some of your fics, I should be able to read ALL of your fics” thing, in a way) and the ”I refuse to curate my fandom experience and I’ll make it some stranger’s problem” thing (which... reminds me of a few other things, but tbf it has probably been around since the very first days of fandom), what if someone doesn’t even see meta and quips/shitposts as fundamentally different and mutually exclusive approaches to fandom? what if they see them as just two ways to be interested in a specific fandom and interact with it, and maybe even closely linked together, so going from one to another is actually very, very easy for them? hell, what if they (gasp!) even mix quips and meta together sometimes?
I have a few posts about what I think Baran bo Odar and Jantje Friese might have been doing with mythological references and themes in Dark, and about what I got from the series finale. some are meme-like, phrased in a joking tone, probably even shitpost-y? another one is literally just a gifset plus me having intense Feels in the tags, and the last one is an edit of the kind I’ve seen people complain about as “those cringey unoriginal tumblr aesthetics that all look the same” in at least a couple of occasions. does that automatically mean I only wanted to “win” at fandom (with my hard-earned prize being... a handful of notes in a fandom that’s not even that big compared to others) and that I haven’t actually spent probably way too much time thinking about the significance of Martha’s Ariadne play as a commentary on character interactions/plot/narrative themes (and honestly still do from time to time), or that I don’t occasionally read the captions under other people’s gifsets and suddenly feel very much enlightened about why the Ariadne play mentions the myth of the Flood of all things? that I didn’t start reading posts and comments and reviews and theories about the series finale as soon as I finished watching it? that, just because I didn’t write 10K+ words of Perfectly Serious Seriousness about all that stuff, I simply refused to Engage With The Text? 
... and if I said that I feel a little irrationally self-conscious at the idea of writing down all of my (often rambling, sometimes jumbled) thoughts about a series that to me actually does feel very deep and complex, so adding memes and humor to that or finding different means to put my ideas out there makes me feel more comfortable expressing myself while also taking off the (admittedly made-up) pressure of having to write a whole coherent essay where I have to find a clear and explicit way to explain where every single thought comes from and how it leads to the next like I’m gonna get graded on it? or that a lot of those thoughts stem from memories of spending five years of high school translating and analysing ancient Greek poetry and reading and watching and discussing every available interpretation and reinterpretation of it from Nietzsche to Vernant to Dürrenmatt to Christa Wolf to Pasolini to a lot of others and from certain things in Dark violently hurtling me back to those times without even asking for permission, so a part of my self-consciousness is actually “I probably don’t actually know/remember enough about this to base a whole in-depth analysis on it even though I do think there’s something there” and another part is “shit I’m too lazy to dig through all of my old textbooks and homework and additional readings to hunt for the thing I feel the desperate need to reference or figure out who might have said it, so no extended explanation here either”? I guess in the end it would all boil down to “there’s an amount of effort and physical and mental energy I’m willing to put into fandom but I also have limits to stop something that makes me feel happy from becoming a chore”, which. considering the whole “you have to put all your resources into constantly pouring out 100% serious meta and nothing else because that’s what I like, no deviations allowed” thing? yeah, I can see saying stuff like that would still make me a blight upon fandom. and/or Not Engaging.
which, I realize, it’s a thing I keep coming back to. but that’s because I really, really, really hate it? seriously, what even counts as Engaging With The Text correctly? not shitposts, and not quips either, apparently. Regardless of the fact that humor and crack have existed in fandom since forever and that it’s actually not uncommon AT ALL for them to be born out of looking at canon from different angles, pointing out whatever the fan in question finds surreal/strange/implausible/convoluted/awkward/just kinda funny about it. 
also, not canon divergence/what if fics motivated not by a desire to “fix” something that made us feel bad when it happened in canon but by a desire to actually fix what we felt was objectively a poor writing choice from the author, because we shouldn’t Engage by analysing the text to criticize it or to think over how and why certain aspects of it don’t work for us or how we think the structure of the text itself could be modified or even improved, we should Engage by... writing meta and/or writing canon-compliant fics with perhaps a little allowance for slightly-to-the-left-of-canon-compliant missing moments fics, I guess? 
from what I’ve gathered from reading other fandom discussion some time ago, AUs are also out, especially Modern/No Powers AUs, because those are always just an excuse to slap your fave’s name on your OC/disguise your original fiction as fanfic to get comments/ignore all that’s interesting about canon to write yet another dumb syrupy high school or coffee shop AU, even if I’m honestly not sure what kind of AUs people are even reading to never get to the “there’s no supernatural threat so let’s focus entirely on the fucked-up family dynamics and blatant mental issues in a world where you can’t just ignore them by marrying off your daughter or sending your son to be someone’s squire” AUs or the “this is pretty much what happens in canon but adding new dimensions and different outlooks on the themes by moving everything to a new context” AUs. seriously, I could rec you a pretty great “this guy would be a horrible father and treat his children horribly in any world, it’s not just the feudal society around him, it’s him as a person” AU and that’s literally just the first thing that came to my mind. but, hey, maybe Engaging is only engaging with the canon plot and setting and nothing else, what do I know.
... fuck, thinking about it, I’m not even sure if by “not shitpost and not quips” I should even mean humor/crack? because it’s not like the OP was clear about it in any way? maybe it’s just all that’s weird and tropey and not-canon-compliant? I can see the “everybody gathers in the main character’s stuff to smoke weed and weird shit happens” fic I got a chuckle out of some time ago being one of the dreaded tumblr-born shitpost fics that are supposedly ruining fandom by ensuring that fans stop thinking (?), but what about the “everything is the same but this one character is a catboy, not for any particular reason but just because” fic I’m currently following and loving? people have been joking and shitposting about catboys a lot on tumblr lately (I distinctly remember that the last catboy joke to pop up on my dash was the “I’m your catboy gf and I’m stuck in a wall” one...) and finding an always-a-catboy!AU initially got an amused smile out of me, so is the mere premise enough to make the fic just a joke/just taking a trope and running off with it/just part of a shallow trend? even when the author literally goes “oh shit just realized this is all a metaphor for neuodivergence and masking” in the story notes? unless writing a character who’s never explicitly stated to be neurodivergent in canon as a being literally or metaphorically neurodivergent in your fic is always shallow projecting or posturing issuefic... instead of, y’know, looking closely at the text and Engaging with it by interpreting it that way....
I feel all this ranting/venting might end up plunging into Why We Slash discussion territory now, so I better stop here.
anyway, in short, good to know I’ve been in fandom for years yet I’ve always been just a Fake Fan who Can’t Think and is constantly Doing It Wrong (by Not Being Transformative Enough, possibly). gonna do my best to stay exactly like that in the future <3
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Wonky preliminary thoughts
I watched the episode once this morning then I’ve been various degrees of busy and sickly so the episode is sort of nebulous in my mind but I want to throw down the thoughts I remember thinking this morning... on a second watch I could change my mind. Honestly I don’t even know yet what this post is going to be like. I’m gonna make it up as I go. Let’s find out together.
- It’s a finale baby
Okay I haven’t touched my dash but I know my chickens and I know there’s gonna be wank, because people forget that every year when the finale comes out no one likes it. That’s it, that’s the finale, expectations are high because finales are supposed to be epic so people end up disappointed, some things were predicted 8 weeks prior and people complain that they were too obvious, some things were unexpected and people complain they came out of the blue, some people say Cas wasn’t in it enough some people write down explanations why his part was actually meaningful, you know the drill. This has been a typical finale: Dean makes The Sacrificial Decision (having Death kill him, become the soul bomb...) and things don’t just work the way he expected them to (sometimes positively like with Amara, sometimes negatively like with Michael).
I personally expected Dean to let Michael (although until recently I supposed it could be the original version of him) in since 13x15 (the showrunner’s own meta manifesto relatively to the ‘reverse season 5/reverse Swan Song’ nature of the final part of the season) and that it would be about shouldering himself the task of getting Lucifer killed since 13x20 (where he goes after Loki himself and is not enthusiastic about Sam’s revenge intents against Lucifer), and heck the ‘I let you in but you provide the power but I’m behind the wheel’ kind of speech was something I pictured in a thousand scenarios, so I didn’t get any shocks from that part of the episode’s plot, but I still enjoyed how we got there. And then, Lucifer is dead! *celebration noise coming from the fandom*
- Um okay let’s say you did your best
Okay, the impression I got from my first watch: the script worked, but the episode got wonky in its execution. Not even the special effects (insert a wonky gold star for the trying) but I remember being unimpressed by the sound/music? Is it just me? Like, sometimes the sound choices were too over the top? There were also overdramatic zooms but that’s Supernatural, and Supernatural without overdramatic zooms is like Supernatural without the Winchesters.
I liked the recap montage a lot (what do you think came first, Rowena’s line about the music or the idea of having that line inside the season to use it for the finale recap?). I got a bit sad because there was a lot of Wayward Sisters in it, and it would have been better if the finale came in a moment of celebration for it happening rather than anger and bitterness for the CW’s choices. Something I felt missing from the last portion of the season was Jody, but I was obviously okay with it because she was missing in preparation of her role in the spin-off. If we can’t change the network’s decision, I hope next season is packed with those characters.
Anyway, back to the episode - it was weird at times, you all know what times, let’s just run with it and make jokes.
- But in season 5 they said--
No, the act itself of Michael killing Lucifer wasn’t what was going to kill half the planet’s population. It was that act inside the large picture of that spell-like orchestration that was the apocalypse (seals, horsemen, omens, stuff like that). I would argue the large-scale damage that was expected wasn’t an accidental consequence, but kind of the whole point of the apocalypse. I hate myself for bringing it up, but you know Thanos killing half the people to ~save the universe~ or whatever dangerously ambiguous nazi crap that dumbasses have actually fallen for because Marvel is just that bad and dangerously ambiguously conservative? I think that the archangels kind of were similar to that mindset, making a huge sacrifice of humans to bring ~paradise~ because they were tired or whatever. You know, I know some people don’t think Supernatural is particularly progressive, but in the current media climate not framing the mass-murderous, abusive characters with nazi-coded intents as the actual heroes is apparently too progressive for some, so kudos to Supernatural for not making Lucifer or Michael the hero of the story but to stick to common sense and decency. (I know, this part is not about Supernatural but just me being salty at Marvel, but let me, please.)
- So while we’re talking about this...
I can say that what Supernatural did with Lucifer in season 13, in my opinion, has been really good. I’ve never been afraid they were going to ‘redeem’ him, so I wasn’t worried or bothered by the story throwing the tools of redemption at him. Because not only he didn’t pick them up, he couldn’t see them even if they hit him in the face. He didn’t understand what redemption even means. He kept seeing himself as the misunderstood victim, so instead of bettering himself he just felt sorry for himself, and completely missed the point of a ‘second chance’ or whatever he claimed he was after. So, eventually, it was all a lie. I think Lucifer’s “I’ve changed” attitude was partly a schemed lie (because he’s not that clueless), partly something he was convinced of himself, because he has his head up his ass enough to actually believe he was a poor victim. I think this narrative hits the nail on the head - white male fragility works like that, the men wrapped in toxic masculinity and male entitlement think they’re the victims of a big bad oppression from women and queer people and non-white people. But they’re just pathetic, and when the bubble bursts, all they can do is scream in rage and their ‘nice guy’ persona disappears. Lucifer’s 180° change of attitude towards Jack reminded me of the nice guys who start throwing all sorts of disgusting invectives against women after being rejected. So yeah, I think that Lucifer’s arc this season was sort of relevant, if you want to interpret it like this.
Either way, Supernatural, unlike some other pieces of media, doesn’t actually try to make you sympathize with abusive, violent, misogynistic men (unless they actually show to be self-aware and to seek change, and again you aren’t meant to sympathize with their bad side! Toxic masculinity is supposed to be bad, and slaughtering billions of innocents not justified for any reason, and especially does not make you the hero and the ones fighting to save the people the actual villains! *gasp*). There was even a clear dig at Trump, and I am pretty sure that’s Dabb’s answer to accusations of not being clear enough on the subject...
So yeah, I think this season’s big bad was an allegory for white male entitlement and the ‘nice guy’ victim complex, and Dean stabbed him (I’d say with the help of a Black man, sure it’s actually Michael another villain but momentary symbolism, I guess? Or maybe that just isn’t supposed to be relevant.) I felt someone cheer that was still bitter that Sam killed Alastair. You just know someone out there was still bitter about it. I mean it was teamwork, of course, but Dean provided the power and the stab. Oh, Dean letting Michael in to acquire the power to kill Lucifer (who killed Cas and Sam) as a parallel for Sam’s demon blood usage to acquire the power to kill Lilith (who killed Dean) *insert lengthy reflection here*
- Speaking of parallels--
Someone was irked at the apparent belief across fandom that Dean leaving Sam to the vampires in the cave was ~the codepencency being broken~? (I am not a fan of analyzing the show in these terms that have become so simplified, in case you’re wondering.) And of course now we see that that wasn’t so simple, because Dean makes the same face when Sam disappears with Lucifer and Jack, and Cas tries to stop him, but Dean decides to do the sacrificial decision (did he really expect Michael to keep the deal, really really?). But! (I wasn’t saying that things are still stuck in the 10x23 mud puddle, don’t misunderstand me!) This time it’s not just about Sam, it’s about Lucifer being set on really breaking dad’s toys on a large scale this time. Dean Winchester gives up his humanity to save humanity, because that’s his middle name, and not just to save his brother at the cost of harming the universe. Of course Michael is still on the loose and with a stronger vessel now, but hey, one threat at a time... But I also think there’s something significant with the fact that the last sequence of the episode shows Michael on earth, looking in his element and satisfied about it - to stop Lucifer, Sam, with Lucifer inside, went to hell; to stop Lucifer, Dean, with Michael inside... is on earth. Of course, next season he’ll probably be involved with heaven and whatnot, but I think there’s something significant there, but I’d wait to make much meta about Michael-in-Dean when we actually are shown more about it.
- So, overall?
Overall it was a good finale! Satisfying to have Jack discover Lucifer’s true nature and the nice guy lie shatter, emotional the Jack stuff, powerful that we didn’t see Dean actually getting possessed and Cas seeing it but only Cas being fraught about it, just there, kind of like the narrative was telling us, what do you even expect Cas’ face while losing Dean to Michael to look like? Now, this post is long enough and I’ll need a rewatch and some health points more to analyze the details, but I am sure that I’m going to enjoy analyzing them.
- And what now?
Oh, I expect a lot of fanworks of Charlie and Rowena during the hiatus. It’s probably already started...
Alright, more coherent and hopefully meaningful thoughts coming shortly (...maybe) to your screens ^-^
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