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singmyaubade · 7 months

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No Longer Yours

James Potter x Female!Reader

A/N: Hello everyone! Now, I know I took so long to post this part but I wanted to think out everything and understand the direction of where the story is going! Thank you to everyone who was understanding and continued supporting me and this story, thank you so much!

IB: In The Cold November Rain by @sweetsweetjellybean (This is truly amazing guys and what truly inspired this entire series so please check it out!)

Summary: James had disregarded you for multiple years, but when you have an epiphany in your final year, how does it feel to taste his own medicine?

Warning: It may contain swearing, use of weed, and soon-to-be smut.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

The fresh sunlight peaked through the curtains in your room right onto your face as you squinted. Nothing like a beam of light hitting your face after three days of avoiding the Potter family.

You hadn't left your room and Dot kept appearing, asking if you needed anything and would give you dinner when it was time. You knew Euphemia was up to this but she wanted to give you your space which you respected.

You loved Euphemia dearly but you didn't know how to face her or what to say about everything. In all honesty, you were a bit embarrassed about the whole thing.

You wanted to go home badly but your Father was still sick and your Mom had to stay with him so it was with the Potters for Christmas which was a tragedy within itself.

You had asked your Mom if you could just go next door and stay there alone but she considered it rude and the Potters would still have to check up on you so it was easier if you stayed with them.

You just couldn't stop thinking about everything which was more painful.

You never felt like you acted obsessive when it came to James but hearing his words in your heard,

"I couldn't get away from you, and the only time I could was when I dated Lily; it was the best months of my life,"

The words echoed in your head during the last three days. You knew you were an amazing friend to James and always thought about his needs and comforted him.

And he had the audacity to say such cruel words when all you had been was kind and caring towards him.

Not only did it anger you but you felt humiliated that you could care for such a hateful and disgusting person.

He hadn't even tried to approach you about the situation, he just continued to live in the same house with you without such of a word.

The only one who did try to talk to you was Sirius and even when you tried to ignore him, he refused it and to admit, he was hard to ignore.

"Oh Y/N!" Sirius sang loudly outside of your door, "I know you can hear me!" You clutched your pillow over your ears to drown him out, "If you don't let me in, I'm gonna tell everyone what I saw you do in the girls bathroom sixth year," He said, urging you to the door as it swung open.

You glared at him while he had a grin on his face as he stepped inside your room, "Wow, Mom really set you up with the perks," He looked around in atonishment.

"What do you want?" You said sincerely.

"How are you?" He nervously asked, scratching the back of his head.

You scoffed, "Peachy,"

His face frowned, "I know you don't want to hear about James-" He started.

You cut him off, "Ding ding! I don't," You replied, laying on your bed as Sirius sighed.

"Prongs is a dickhead," Sirius started, earning a nod from you, "But he's trying to turn the love he has for you into hate," He explained as you looked off to the window, "So that he won't miss you but he does dearly," Sirius pleaded.

"Why can't he be the one to be mature?" You asked lightly, "Why does everyone always have to speak for him and excuse his poor behavior?" You exhaled, crossing your arms over your silk nightgown.

"James will never deserve you," Sirius answered, "But I do think a serious conversation is needed without the dramatics,"

You knew that you agreed that you needed to have a conversation with James to put an end to all the bullshit and to just finally be done but you didn't know what to say or how to start it.

"The only reason he hasn't tried talking to you is because he knows you will see how he truly feels and who you've always known," Sirius spoke, "It's up to you but I know that whatever you decide will be the best option," He gave you a reassuring smile.

You looked at him, smiling back, "When did you become so wise?" You asked.

He shrugged, "I'm afraid I've gotten fed up of James and gotten bored," He snickered as you giggled, "I'll see you," He said, kissing your forehead lightly as you nodded before he exited the room.

James didn't deserve you and he probably never would but you remembered that young boy who had been your friend for all of those years.

You couldn't excuse James's actions but you could find it in your heart to give him the much dreaded conversation that has been waiting to happen.

And despite hating him more than you ever have in your life, you had to find it in you to at least explain your feelings.

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts, "Sirius?" You asked confused as the door swung open.

You were surprised to see your four best friends at the door, smiling at you.

"Ew why was that your first guess?" Marlene questioned disgusted as your face glowed in excitement, racing over to your four best friends at the door.

You embraced them all in a tight hug as you pulled back, "What are you guys doing here?" You gleamed in excitement.

"Well, we heard about what happened from Sirius and Euphemia suggested that we come," Dorcas answered.

"And well, we couldn't say no," Mary added.

"But what about Christmas with your families?" You asked, frowning at the fact that they won't spend Christmas with their families.

"It's just one Christmas and I'm sure Petunia will have a better Christmas without me," Lily giggled as you gave her a soft smile.

"Well I can't say it's that merry here," You said, sitting on your bed as they all walked in and Dorcas started admiring the bookshelf in the corner.

Lily sat down next to you as Mary and Marlene shared the chair across from you and Lily, "How about we actually have one day to celebrate your birthday instead of focusing on James?" Lily comforted.

"It's never one of those days," You sighed.

"But it can be," Dorcas smirked, holding up candies.

"Candy?" Mary asked with a snort.

Dorcas rolled her eyes, "No you idiot, there's weed inside them," She whispered.

Your mouth agaped, "Where did you even get that?" You asked.

"Remus is one hell of a dealer," Dorcas replied, grinning ear to ear.

"I don't know about that," Lily said, swallowing.

"You did say that you wanted to celebrate Y/N's birthday," Marlene replied with a smart-ass tone.

"That is not what I meant and you know it," Lily argued.

"We don't have to do it Lils," You smiled, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

"Yes my sweet Lily flower," Marlene walked over, pinching Lily's cheek, "Let's not prevent you from blooming," She snickered.

Lily stared daggers into Marlene, "You know what, just to prove you wrong McKinnon," Lily replied, walking over to Dorcas and snatching the bag from her.

"Wait a second!" Dorcas softly shouted before Lily ate two of the candies.

Lily's face contorted into disgust and then a gulp before shaking her head, trying to shake off the flavor.

"Is that safe?" You asked, walking over to Lily and checking her eyes.

"Yeah but it just means she's gonna fucked out of her mind," Mary snorted.

"Lily, you are the one who tells us to never fall for Marlene's tatics yet you do this!" Dorcas said, sitting Lily down.

"I feel fine!" Lily persisted.

"For now," Marlene snickered.

You glared at Marlene as she put her hands defensively, "Well if we wanna follows Lily lead," Mary said, eating two like Lily did.

"Count me in!" Marlene cheered, eating two straight after.

"Should we?" Dorcas asked as you shrugged your shoulders and took two as Dorcas did the same.

You both ate the candies and your face contorted the same Lily's did. It tasted like a bitter, earthy taste as if you were chewing cannabis.

"And now we wait," Marlene said, plopping down.

You yawned as Marlene exasperated, "I don't feel anything!"

"Well duh you idiot, it takes a little bit," Mary chortled, continuing to lay down on the carpet of the living room next to LIly.

"You did insist we move downstairs because you thought the aroma of Y/N's room was ruining it," Dorcas snorted.

Marlene crossed her arms, "It seemed right at the time," She pouted, sitting down in the big armchair.

"Maybe we should've took more," Mary suggested.

And that's when everything took a turn for the worst.

You felt like you couldn't fully think straight and you had this sweet, bitter taste in your mouth. You felt relaxed like a huge weight had been lifted in your shoulders and you could be alone in your own thoughts.

"Took more?" Lily giggled.

"Yeah duh," Mary said, giggling too.

"Duh," Dorcas repeated as you all laughed uncontrollably.

"Stop, I can't breathe," You horrendously laughed, holding your stomach in your hands.

"Guys, I'm gonna pee myself!" Marlene cried out, rocking back and forth laughing in the chair.

"Guys, we are so loud," Lily whispered, shushing all of you while uncontrollably laughing.

You felt like you were gonna explode, "You're right, you're right," You whispered, trying to calm down.

"Okay guys silent game," Dorcas shushed, covering her hand over her mouth.

Suddenly Sirius walked in with a confused grin on his face on why you all were whispering and trying to be silent, "What are you guys bloody doing?" He asked which made you all break.

You all bursted out into outrageous laughs while holding your stomach's, trying not to explode. James walked downstairs with a confused smile on his face as he watched the scene in front of them.

"What's up with them?" James asked, the corner of his mouth upturning.

"No idea," Sirius shrugged, walking into the dining hall as James followed him.

"Girls," Euphemia appeared from the dining hall as you all tried to shush yourselves, "Come into the hall for dinner," She gave a comforting smile.

'Shit.' You mentally thought.

Lily was the first one to rise up, looking at the rest of you with a worried look on her face. You stood up, trying to inhale the next laughing round.

You walked towards the dining hall as you could hear the girls behind you, whispering and saying to "act normal."

You sat down next to James as his face was mentally confused on why you had made that decision in the first place.

You felt like your eyes fluttering close as you laid your head on James's shoulder. You could feel him shift uncomfortably but let it happen without questioning you.

Euphemia saw the state in front of her in utter shock, "Y/N, are you okay dear?" She asked, worried.

You didn't want her to suspect that you had taken anything or were under the influence,

So all you had to do was act normal.

How hard could it be?

You straightened yourself on your chair, taking your head off of James, "I'm fine!" You said, louder than you wanted to, earning a worried look from James, Sirius, Fleamont, and Euphemia, "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night," You cleared your throat.

"I'm sorry to hear that dear, do you need any potions?" Euphemia asked.

"No, no, that's okay," You smiled as she returned one back but still looked worried.

"James, can you grab me a piece of that chicken and some potatoes?" You asked, looking up at him as his eyes showed visible shock.

He hesitated before grabbing a piece of the chicken using a fork and knife and placing it on your plate and grabbing the spoon to put potatoes on the plate. You muttered a 'thanks' before digging into the chicken and potatoes.

You weren't the only one because the rest of the girls were doing the same. Sirius, Fleamont, Euphemia, and James all had shocked expressions, wondering if you guys were wolves.

Fleamont whispered something to Euphemia as she assured him that you guys were fine even if it didn't look like it.

"Y/N, are you okay?" James whispered into your ear.

You smiled, "I'm fine James, how are you?" You asked before stifling a laugh.

"Are you blazed?" He asked with a scoff.

"Shh," You laughed while shushing, "Don't tell Mom,"

"Bloody hell," James replied, trying not to laugh at the situation, "Okay, try to follow my lead," He whispered before standing, "Mum, Y/N is not feeling well, I'm gonna take her to lay down," He said, helping you stand up by grabbing your waist.

"Do you want me to come with?" Euphemia asked, rising up.

"No, no, it's fine," James stopped her, "She just needs to rest,"

Euphemia nodded, "Okay well, feel better dear," Euphemia smiled as James began walking you and you squeezed Euphemia's shoulder in a 'thank you,'

James whispered a few things that you couldn't make out while taking you up the stairs, helping you on each step. You almost tripped over a step as James grabbed your waist, leading you up the stairs.

You laughed obnoxiously as you went from room to room, trying to get to your own. James could only try not to laugh and be the serious one in the moment.

He was leading you to your room but you placed your hands on the door frame, stopping him, "No, your room," You frowned.

"Y/N, you need to sleep in your bed," James insisted, trying not to laugh.

"Jamesie, pleaseeee," You pleaded as he couldn't force you through the door frame and gave up.

"Okay," James sighed, "Come on," He didn’t want to see the sad look on your face any longer so he had to cave.

You cheered gleefully as James leaded you to his room, carefully helping you step towards his bed before laying you on the bed.

You looked up at him with a smile as he blushed, "I'm gonna go back downstairs and then I'll sleep in your room," He said, moving to leave.

"Wait!" You yelled, raising up, "Lay with me," You looked at him in the eyes as you looked at him back.

His mouth agaped, "Y/N, I don't know if this is a good idea," He replied.

"We aren't doing anything, I just want you to lay with me," You said, pleading with your eyes.

He walked over to the other side of you, laying up on the headboard as you moved your head to his chest, snuggling into him. His heart was beating faster than you ever could have felt it beat.

"Why are you so mean to me?" You asked, frowning into his chest.

He ran his hands through your hair, "Because I don't know what else to do," He whispered, slowing his strokes down, "I really am sorry Y/N, I don't know if you can forgive me,"

"Just talk to me," You said sadly in his chest.

"When you are sober, I will," He chuckled.

"Promise?" You asked.

"Promise," He said as your eyes fluttered close, sleeping into his chest, "I promise Y/N," He whispered, kissing your head before closing his eyes too.

A/N: For one, I am so sorry for how long this chapter has taken. Number two, this was based on my experience of being high so guys, please don't hate and say this isn't the right experience! This chapter was not that long and not very angst filled but I know my plan! Again, if you hated this, I apologize and thank you so much for reading.

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charles-leclerizz · 1 month

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🏎️ ๋࣭ ⭑blue views

🏁 Pairings : Carlos Sainz X fem! Reader

🏁 Warnings : smut [nothing major, listed at the end of the writing], fluff, stress [which is aliviated by the smut]

🏁 Word Count : 3.6k words (3612 words)

🏁 Summary : It’s time to celebrate! For everyone else that is. You, on the other hand, will be planning your’s and your fiance’s “engagement week” festivities, until you die. That is, until an impromptu intervention is planned.

🏁 translations via radio comm below

🏁 credits : word dividers by @heavenlayt

🏁 Music player : Good to be by Mark Ambor

“Carlos!” You shouted out, leaning back against the heel of your soft wedges as you reached behind you for more cocktail glasses. The sound of your fiancé’s loafers against the terracotta staircase echoed throughout the ground level as he made his way to the kitchen, where you were working alongside half a dozen cooks.

“Si, Mariposa?” He came up behind you, plucking the crystal margarita glass from your fingers and taking a sip of the peachy, carbonated concoction that you had masterfully created. You giggled when he hummed happily and kissed your neck, “It’s delicious.”

“Ay, Ay, Señor. Tienes que esperar a la luna de miel” An elderly voice scolded from your left followed with a hollow bonk. Carlos hissed, rubbing the back of his head where a thick wooden rolling pin had struck him playfully, “You wound me, Maria.”

He followed with a pained “Literally.” When Maria had merely shot him a fond look over her shoulder as she went back to washing the tomatoes in the deep-set ceramic sink.

“You’re absolutely sure that everyone got the invites?” You leaned down to inspect the dozen drinks that you had made, “Because we invited at least 60 people, and if I make 60 drinks and there are not exactly 60 throats present to ingest them. You are going to remain abstinent until we’re married.”

Carlos stared at you open mouthed, a betrayed expression overtook his face, “So you would choose Maria’s wishes over mine? muy cruel.” He then bought his hands up from your waist to brush your hair from your shoulder, dragging his fingers up your arm-he slipped off the thin spaghetti strap of your white, cotton summer dress to press short, sweet kisses on your skin, “I mean can you really resist this?” He reasoned.

“It would be very easy Mi Amour.” You harrumphed, ignoring the tingling shocks that fluttered beneath your skin at the drag of his lips against your shoulder. You jolted forward when you felt his other hand travel from your waist, down to the front of your dress, “Carlos- I have so much to do. I mean I promised Alex and Lily I would make trifle for dessert, but then your parents have this one friend who hates custard! I mean did you hear the story, he literally puked, and I will not have him puke in my engagement party, nope. Not on my watch.”

You wagged your finger in the air before grabbing another five glasses from their upside-down position on the kitchen island where you were working. Taking the washcloth that sat comofortably in the front pocket of your plaid apron, you began wiping away the droplets of water from the crystal before continuing to babble about your long list of duties for the upcoming week of festivities.

“So, I need to also make these cute fruit tarts that I made that one time. But then I realised that Charles and Max hate kiwi, and the whole dessert is basically that, so for them I’m making this great chocolate gateau, the one at the restaurant? Since they really fucking liked that one.”

You grumbled out the last part, crushing up your freshly picked strawberries that had previously been resting in a metal strainer along with a cream, cotton cover up to keep them moist. The marble mortar grinded against the matching pestle as the sweet fruits reduced to a thick paste.

“On top of that the other like, 40 guests have very specific wants, so I have 20 different things to make along with this signature drink that Jenni designed for us! You know her, right? the bar tender at the other restaurant in Monaco, I learnt how to make it, and you said its good. It’s good right?”

You add a few cups of carbonated water to the pinkish paste in front of you, before turning back to Carlos, who had been patiently listening to you rant- mainly due to the fear that if he were to stop, you would give his ear the same treatment as the berries that remain crushed beneath you, “Si, mi mariposa. Very good.”

You sighed before fully spinning around to face him, resting your back on the dark wood counter, looping your hands around his neck, “I’m sorry Carlito.” You brush a singular strand of hair that fell from its carefully crafted style onto his forehead, “This isn’t very fun for you, is it?” You move onto your tiptoes to reach his cheek.

“Nonsense, I have Papa and Guillermo coming to help with the decorations outside, I think Blanca and Mama are also coming- to help.” He chuckles when you groan happily and bring his head down to kiss his lips graciously.

“Thank you, Mi Amour.” You murmur against his mouth, running your fingers through his hair as his arms came to circle your waist, pulling you against his chest. You sigh against him, melting in his embrace as you barely manage to hold yourself up and anchor yourself on his broad shoulders that strain against the baby blue polo top, he chose to wear.

“AY, SEÑOR,” Maria bumped Carlos slightly as she came rushing through the walkway, trotting determinedly through the low, exposed brick archway and outside to the patio area that was protected from the morning sunrays by the lattice structure that stood tall whilst being overtaken by winding ivy.

Beneath this, Maria sat down at least 3 trays full of freshly sliced vegetables, sun drying them as preparation for the multiple dishes that would be served that evening, “Si no estás aquí para aportar nada útil, sal de la cocina.” She screeched whilst heading to the other side of your estate, towards the large garden that housed many seasoned plants, ready with multiple fruits and vegetables for plucking.

“I think she will cook me next.” He shuddered before laying his forehead on yours, “Do not worry, Mariposa. Everything will turn out fine.”

“Why did I suggest an engagement week.” You pouted, nuzzling your head into his chest, to hide away from all the responsibilities you had brought onto yourself. You shake your head wildly, causing flurries of hair to escape from the bun you had messily done up, “All I know is that it must go well. Maria will for sure have a heart attack if it doesn’t,”

“I still think it’s a good idea” He comforts you, until the melodic sound of the doorbell resounds throughout the house, and he detaches from you, “That must be the back-up.” He winks at you as he jogs off to open the large, rustic door. You watch from the kitchen as Carlos laughs boisterously whilst embracing his family.

His mother and sister quickly wave him off, ushering the men out to the acres of back garden they have yet to decorate to approach you.

Blanca dances up to you, wiggling her arms and hands excitedly as she beams at your exhausted face, “There she is! Beautiful bride-to-be, our mariposa.” The knee length dress she chose skims her legs as the burgundy silk falls from her shoulders delicately, she hugs your neck tightly, swinging you both side to side whilst you flail around.

“Hola, diabla.” You chuckle, catching your mother-in-law’s eyes, you wait until Blanca removes herself from you for Reyes to do the same, but instead of violently rotating you like a ragdoll, she rubs your back and coos sympathetically.

“Ay mi muñeca, you look too tired to be a blushing bride.” She moves her arms from being drawn around your neck to rub your shoulders.

“What can I say? There’s too much to be done for me to be blushing.” You shrug, already going back to pouring out 10 more drinks, adding to the sea of glasses in front of you.

Blanca tuts disapprovingly, “This is not what being engaged is meant to be, it’s meant to be fun! And new! And sexy!” She waggles her eyebrows suggestively, ignoring her mother who had picked up your to-do list and hid her face in the paper.

“Blanca, please.” Reyes rolled her eyes, “But she’s not wrong.” She reaches for a spare apron that hung rejected on the back of the pantry door.

“No, mamá please,” You attempt to snatch the apron away from Reyes, who tuts disapprovingly and had already begun to collect multiple utensils from your spacious kitchen whilst talking quickly with the cooks who had been diligently making progress on the rest of the menu, “I can’t possibly allow you to do my work.”

Blanca plucked the neatly tied bow around your waist, undoing the stained, pale blue cotton that protected your dress, “No, your job is to relax, and let my culo brother treat you nicely. Champagne, strawberries, chocolate.” She listed off the aphrodisiacs one by one, pushing you through the living room and up the stairs. You braced yourself on the railing as you let her guide you through the landing.

“I have all of that in the food that I should be making,” You whined, stomping your foot, and swivelling to level her with your eyes, “There is just too much to do before tonight. And the boys don’t even know what to do for decorations.”

Blanca swatted her hand through the air, as if physically plummeting away your doubts, “You’ve had the entire family added on your Pinterest board.” You snorted at that, but pressed your lips together when she shot you a look, “If I can’t whip them into shape, consider me a bad sister from day 1.” She planted her hands on her waist before pointing at your bedroom door, “Now either you can start yourself a bath, or I will.”

You harrumph and dig your feet into their spot on the newly waxed, wooden floors beneath you, “I see how it is.” Blanca squints her eyes at you, “Fine, I see how it is.”

You half expect her to push you into the room, but instead she leans over the banister and shouts, “CARLOS !!”

“Blanca!” You gasp, grabbing her dress and tugging her back from the beam, “W-Why would you?” You splutter.

“AY CARLOS !!” She continues to screech until you slap a palm over her mouth, careful of the nude brown lipstick she had worn.

“Si diabla?” Your fiancé shouts back up, already at the base of the staircase. Blanca licks your hand, causing you to yelp and jump back, giving her the perfect opportunity to answer, “Your fiancé is anxious as fuck.”

“What else is new?” He chuckles, hand braced on the railing as he emerges from the winding staircase. Carlos takes in the new scene, you are tackling Blanca onto the floor, she’s squealing whilst attempting to wrangle free from you, tummy first on the floor, “Mi amour, if you are going to leave me for my sister...” He starts, crossing his arms and tilting his head at you.

“You both are insufferable.” You grit out, twisting the knob to your bedroom, wating for Carlos to step inside. He stops momentarily when Blanca darts an arm out and begins to ramble to him in Spanish, Carlos answers just as quickly before his sister reaches up to smack the underside of his head.

“Blanca!” He shouts out after her, but she ignores him and sprints downstairs to assist with the preparations. Carlos turns back to you, slumping forward to rest his head against the door frame that you were currently leaning on, arms folded amusedly as you looked at him from under your eyelashes. He pivots his neck, gazing fondly into your eyes, “You’re pretty.” He mumbles, bringing a limp hand up to rest on your cheek, thumb moving soothingly against your face. You lean into his touch, “So are you” You breathe out, leaning upwards to ghost your lips over his.

This moment was merely poetic, the two of you, finding respite in the chaos within each other. His soft touch as he leaned forward for more, you grant it, because you craved him as deeply as he did for you. The astringent sweetness of his lips against yours and the heavenly feeling of his fingers cradling your hips made you moan out as he caught you weight when your knees gave out from beneath you.

The door creaked shut behind the two of you, your palms digging into the waistline of his shorts to tug his shirt out, his fingers dance down from your neck to the large cut-out of your dress that showed off the curve of your spine. Carlos broke away from you momentarily, his eyes still shut as he chuckled when you whined, chasing his lips desperately, “Jump,” He murmured, bracing himself by tugging you close and digging his fingers into the back of your thighs.

You complied, hopping into his secure hold before attaching your mouth to his once again, nipping at his full bottom lip. Carlos passed through the bedroom with ease, his muscle memory allowing him to walk underneath the long archway that led to your shared bathroom. He released you gently, his fingers pinching the hem of your dress on your way down, he bunched up the flowy linen, dragging it up to your waist and tugging it over your head- leaving you in just a pair of white, lacy underwear.

You laughed slightly, your hair mussed at taking over half of your face, “Carlos” you huff out. He laughs at your annoyance, gently moving the strands out of your eyes before tracing the dips and curves of your chest and stomach with feather-light touches.

Sighing, you tilt your head back, allowing him to press his lips against the column of your neck. You loop your hands around his neck, stumbling backwards towards the sink whilst bringing him with you. Carlos hoists you up and onto the counter, finally stepping back to gaze at your naked body, his eyes ravish you, the stiff peaks of your breasts and curve of your stomach, you watch him intently when he finally makes his way down to your panties, a damp patch already forming.

Carlos approaches you once again, his breath fresh and minty against your skin, “Tan bonita.” He compliments, trailing warm, open mouth kisses on your collar bone, starting from your shoulder until he reaches your sternum, “Tan deliciosa.” He moves to your breast, decorating it with his own purple-ish love marks, he littered them across until he enveloped your nipple into his mouth, his tongue licking against the pebble until it hardened beneath his attention.

Carlos turned his attention to the other whilst his other hand slipped beneath the elastic of your underwear, his middle finger teasing your wet slit, “all for me?” he moaned against your breast.

“of course.” You bury your hand in his hair, arching into his touch before he lowered to his knees in front of you.

“F-fuck” you whine, biting your lip harshly as he settles between your legs, he shucks you closer, harshly tugging you to the edge of the counter as he inches his mouth closer, hot breathe settling on the front of your underwear. You arch your back at the feeling, fingers teasing your peaked nipple, “please,” you whisper, eyes darting down to where Carlos had begun to lave lazily at your newly soaked panties.

“Please what? Huh?” He whispers, tongue darting out to push further into your throbbing hole. You whine, thighs threatening to clamp shut around his head, your hand inches down to shyly tug at his hair and guide him closer to your leaking cunt, “can’t even talk now? ‘s okay mariposa. I’ll take care of you.” He promises, laying one of your legs over his shoulder.

You breathe hitches slightly when you feel him drag his lips up your hip, only for his teeth to sink into your underwear band, trailing it off you.

You scrunch your eyes with a gasp when his kisses trail up from your ankle, to your calf and towards the inside of your thigh- you growl playfully when you hear him chuckle and coo up at you, “you were just stressed...” he pressed an open mouthed kiss to your skin, “being so diligent..” he continued, tongue ghosting over your leaking folds, “so perfect.”

“Carlos,” You moan, scratching your nails against his scalp, “you’re being mean. Hah. It’s not good to be mean to your future wi-“you cut yourself off with a scream, well, a muffled one, you managed to cover your agape mouth with your hand. He dove into your sex, tongue searing through you as he fucked the muscle steadily into you, curling it to poke gently at the sensitive, spongy part within you.

Carlos let his eyes flutter shut, the sweet taste of you staining itself onto his tongue, how he could stay like this forever, fuck the dinner, he only ever wanted to taste you. Only you.

“taste so good,” he panted against you, his tongue nudging your clit, in an oh-so delicious way that made you bite down on your fingers to stop your needy moans leaking down from the open, semi-circle window towards your in-laws, who were dedicatedly preparing your back garden to host a multitude of people.

“uh uh mariposa, quiero oír tu voz.” He reached up with one hand, tugging your palm away from your still open mouth.

“I-“you gulp heavily, trying to unscramble your mind from its mush state, “I- wan’ want more, need you to- do something please.” You bring your other leg to his shoulder, locking him between your limbs.

Carlos huffs out a laugh, biting playfully at your tender skin, he brings up one hand laying his fingers gently against your pussy lips, creating a ‘V’ to spread them wide, exposing the sensitive area to the midday warmth. And then, he spat, a fat string slowly drips from his mouth to land directly on your hole, he gawks at it with interest, his large puppy-dog eyes shining with lust.

You blush and cover your face, “come on- please? I’ve been soo good, did ever’thin you wanted.” You babbled, gyrating your hips against his face, baiting him into pleasuring you again until the delicious wave reached the crown of your skull until the tips of your toes.

“have you? You been my good girl? Hm?” He arches a brow at you, but stops you from answering when he lays his tongue flat against your clit, gently shaking his head side to side until you begin to shake and whine, “yeah, I know mi amor, se siente bien, ¿sí?” he whispers, prodding you cunt with his index finger, “you want it, don’t you?”

You hummed, eyes widening as though he had proposed all over again, “yeah, come on, please, pretty please with a- ahh,” once again, he wouldn’t let you finish your pleading, instead, he answered you with your prize, him pushing his fingers into you, your wetness dripping down into his palm and along his wrist.

Obscene squelches echoed through the bathroom, along with explicit sounds of his knuckles slapping against your skin and your high-pitched moans.

“yes- oh, don’t stop.” You sobbed, tears pricking at your eyes when he thrusted in a second finger, stretching you out whilst he crooked his digits to continue stimulating your g-spot mercilessly.

“don’t plan on it,” he promised, delving back in for another sacred taste, he tongue worked wonders against you, drinking in your nectar as though from the gods- letting in slip down his throat graciously. You groaned and bit your lip harshly, arching your back at angles that chiropractors would wince at until you could feel that euphoric feeling begin to bloom within your stomach.

Your walls fluttered around Carlos’ fingers, making him smirk against you and continue his movements, hungrily licking and slurping at you until your toes curled and eyes crossed over, “fuck,” you grit out, gasping laboriously as the tight knot finally snapped and torrential pleasure rained over you.

“te entendí my love,” He crawled over you, bracing himself above with his hands planted on the thick, white marble countertop you were currently blissed out on.

You brought your shaky hands up to his face, kissing him gently, “what about-hah, what about you,” you panted, wrapping your arms around him, continuing to softly brush your lips against his face. His temple, stubbled cheek, and muscled neck.

“We still have-“ He looked down at the heavy, silver Rolex on his wrist, “40 minutes, until Blanca comes hunting for us.” Carlos looked over to the floating bath that sat in front of the Juliet balcony, “and we have a bath.”

“That is just by a huge ass window,” You reminded him, glancing over to the open doors, revealing the intricate black grill of the balcony along with the pristine view of your tall trees that lined the well-kept entertaining space of your garden.

“Well, I doubt they don’t know what’s going on, I mean, my sister probably told them to leave a box of condoms outside.” He shrugged.

“In that case,” You started, your low whisper a mere breath of warm air between the two of you. Marinating hard and heady eye contact with him, you reached down to take his hand in yours, then slipped the two fingers that still dripped with your wetness, into your mouth.

Carlos stared at the sight, a short, strangled noise leaving him when you popped out his digits with an all too innocent noise, “Better make the most of it,” You leaned back against the mirror, hand open for him to carry you.

He groaned, shaking his head slightly before hoisting you in his arms, “best 40 minutes of my life.”

[Smut warnings : alot of kissing, fingering, sucking, love-bites, fem! oral recieving, fem! fingering recieving.]

📻 Kcccchh.... come in.... come in...translatiion available...over

📻 Kchh...Spnish..to engli..sh....over

Ay, Ay, Señor. Tienes que esperar a la luna de miel - Oh, Oh, Lord. You have to wait for the honeymoon

muy cruel - very cruel

AY, SEÑOR - OH, SIR

Si no estás aquí para aportar nada útil, sal de la cocina - If you're not here to contribute anything useful, get out of the kitchen.

mariposa - butterfly

Hola, diabla - Hello, devil

Ay mi muñeca - Oh, my doll

Si, diabla? - Yes, devil?

Mi amour - My love

Tan deliciosa - So delicious

Tan bonita - So beautifull

quiero oír tu voz - I want to hear your voice

te entendí, mi amor, se siente bien, ¿sí? - I understood you, my love, it feels good, yeah

📻 Kchhhhh.loosing sign....al.....kcchh....over and out...

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girlsandtgirls · 2 years

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👑Queen of ❤'s!!! LILY PEACHY!!!!

#asian babe #asian babes #the one piece swinwear #peach lily #queen peachy lily❤#peachy lily #girl bulge

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allthingspantyhoseandtights · 3 months

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Lily''s peachy bottom day

#great legs #high heels #pantyhose #tights

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lunasfics · 6 months

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You Remind Me of Lilies - Damian Wayne

Summary: "You remind me of lilies.” He paused, eyeing you with curiosity, “And why is that, beloved?” You smiled, “You just do, all different colors of lilies mean different things, and I can trace each one back to you. Every time.”

pairing: older! Damian Wayne x gn! Reader

word count: 611

warnings: none

a/n: saw a picture of lilies and got the idea to write this <3 my formal apology for the jason angst lol, i hope you like it! - luna <3

reblogs are appreciated!

The moment was a quiet one. The two of you were sitting on the grassy patch, the soft cloth from your earlier picnic providing comfort beneath you. Damian held your hand in his as he looked forward, eyeing the patches of lilies scattered across the meadow.

You looked at him, his brilliant green eyes glazed over with the soft peachy tint of the sunset ahead. The soft breeze swaying his hair ever so slightly, his smooth olive skin was kissed by the soft pink and orange hues of the fading sun. He turned to you, his gaze catching yours. His lips quirked up into a soft smile.

“Why are you staring at me?”

“You remind me of lilies.”

He paused, eyeing you with curiosity, “And why is that, beloved?”

You smiled, “You just do, all different colors of lilies mean different things, and I can trace each one back to you. Everytime.”

A soft shade of pink spreads over his ears and cheeks, he scoots closer to you, the hand that was holding yours letting go and snaking itself around your waist. You leaned into him, relishing the moment. The soft sounds of the grass rustling in the breeze, a blue hue slowly washing over you as the sun sets further. The temperature cooled slowly, the warmth of the sun dissipating, you brought yourself closer to Damian.

“Tell me about the lilies.” He spoke softly, you almost didn’t catch it. You smiled.

“Well, white lilies mean purity, tranquility, and humility. Red ones signify love and affection, pink symbolizes youth and joy, and orange ones represent happiness, love, and warmth.”

He spoke softly, “I don’t know that I’m any of those things.”

You turned to look at him, “Nonsense, you’re all those things and more.”

He met your gaze, smiling softly, the sun was gone by now. However looking into his sparkling green eyes, seeing the small crinkles at the corners from his soft gaze, they could’ve fooled you into thinking the sun was shining on just the two of you.

He leaned and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“I don’t think I would be anywhere near where I am today if not for you. I love you.” He spoke softly. His voice is gentle, tender.

You were so proud of him. Truly. He'd graduated from the Robin title, taking on his own identity, he'd started attending Gotham University with you. He'd opened up, made friends, he'd come so far. And it was all him. As far as he has come, these kinds of soft gazes, tender words, and warm touches were the kind that he saved only for you. It made them all the more special.

“That's all the product of your effort, Dami, not me. I love you too.” You leaned your head back on his chest, his arm wrapped securely around you.

The two of you stay like that for a moment, a comfortable silence washing over you like a warm blanket of serenity. The bees have stopped buzzing, the sounds now replaced with the distant songs of the cicadas, and the soft sounds of the crickets.

Damian broke the silence, “I used to think you were too good for me. That I didn’t deserve you. This. Even now when I look at you it’s as though I am seeing the stars for the first time.”

You met his eyes, gazing into the now darkened shade of green, “You deserve everything good in this world.”

He held you closer, kissing you softly. He pulled away, speaking softly, “The sun is down, we should get going.”

You shook your head, “Let’s stay just a little bit longer. This is nice.”

He smiled and nodded, “As you wish, beloved.”

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immortalbutterflycos · 11 months

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James: *just having a casual conversation with Regulus in the hall*

Lily: "POTTER!" James: *his head turns on a swivel and his eyes go wide as he processes how she's running at him, full fucking speed* "Oh, Merlin no not agai-" Lily: *She then proceeds to grab him, and straight up suplex him into the ground before flipping him off and casually walking away as if nothing happened at all*

**Bonus**

Regulus, standing over James with an amused smirk: "You alright down there?"

James, coughing, wheezing, and struggling to take a breath: "Oh yeah, love, just peachy."

#platonic jily #the marauders #james potter #lily evans #I just like imagining that she does this just for the sake of chaos #i love their dynamic #This could honestly work with Sirius too now that I think about it #jegulus #starchaser #regulus black #james x regulus #sunseeker

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cherienymphe · 1 year

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The Less I Know The Better IX (JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron)

Warnings: eventual NON-CON, eventual DUB-CON, jealousy, manipulation, DUI, mentions of blood, underage drinking, drug use, mild unhealthy relationship, eventual violence, one sided kiara x jj, non canon ages, pogue!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | divider by @firefly-graphics

➥ series masterlist

summary: When you start dating Rafe Cameron, no one is more surprised than you when your best friend JJ takes it really well. However, no one is more surprised than JJ when he’s forced to see his once frumpy BFF in an entirely new light, suddenly terrified of losing what he never knew he had to the person he hates most.

It was hard to keep your eyes open, lashes fluttering and nails scraping along the railing. Rafe’s hands were tight on your waist, pulling you back against him to meet his thrusts. Your breath was shaky, moans and whimpers interrupting your breathing. Your legs were trembling, and you were sure that the only thing that kept you standing was Rafe.

He pressed his chest to your back, hovering over you and nipping at your ear. It was dark, the only light coming from that of the half moon in the sky. It was Rafe’s idea to spend a night on his dad’s boat, taking it out during the evening and having a sleepover on the water. You hadn’t hesitated to agree, and your boyfriend was taking full advantage of your seclusion. This was the second time you’d had sex today, your cunt greedily gripping Rafe and desperate for more.

“Louder, baby,” he groaned in your ear. “Louder. I want to hear you…”

As if to force your hand, he fucked you harder, making you gasp, breath hitching. Rafe’s name tumbled from your lips, and you reached back, nails pressing into his skin. You could feel how wet you were, feel it dripping down your legs. Your bathing suit was wherever, thrown haphazardly over Rafe’s shoulder the minute he got it off of you.

You could feel your stomach burning, skin blazing as he fucked you towards your climax. Rafe could feel it too, pulling you closer and backing up. He kept you against him as he sat down, fucking himself up into you with one hand sliding up your chest and circling your throat. Your fingers pressed into his thighs as you steadied yourself, moans climbing out of your throat.

He forced you up and down his cock, a groan leaving him as he stretched you out. Your thighs were shaking, and your breath grew choppy, and the only thing that kept your head upright was Rafe’s hand on your neck.

“Rafe,” you mumbled. “Rafe, I’m-.”

You cut yourself off, coming around him with a gasp, falling against him. Rafe was more than happy to hold you in place, pushing his cock into you and fucking you through it. You felt yourself shudder again when he spilled into you, one of his hands sliding over your stomach. Now, that you were on birth control, Rafe didn’t always use a condom, but your pregnancy scare didn’t allow you to let him make a habit of it.

When you fell to the side, Rafe slipping out of you, he reached for the blanket he’d brought. He wrapped it around you and pulled you against him, mindful of how cold you could get. You leaned your head on his shoulder, still fighting to catch your breath.

“Ward doesn’t mind about the boat?”

“Your birth control is fighting off my sperm as we speak, and you want to talk about my dad?”

You made a face, and Rafe chuckled. He leaned in to press a kiss to the side of your head, taking a deep breath.

“I didn’t really ask, but…as long as she’s back as perfect as she always is, he doesn’t care.”

“She?” you questioned. “What is with you guys and constantly comparing your favorite objects to women? You, John B., JJ.”

You laughed to yourself, but Rafe didn’t join you.

“Just a guy thing, I guess,” he murmured, and you shifted.

Your eyes met his, concerned.

“You okay…?”

Rafe slowly blinked at you, gaze unreadable and hair going every which way.

“Peachy. How is JJ, by the way?”

You knew what he was referring to, and it made you smile. He didn’t like JJ, that was no secret, but you were glad he asked about him because he knew how much you cared about him.

“Good,” you said with a nod, pausing. “Well, as good as he can be.”

You shook your head.

“Him and his dad… I don’t even know how to describe it.”

Your gaze lowered.

“I beg him and I beg him to get out, but JJ is one of those people where family is family,” you scoffed. “He’s going to stick by him no matter what, and I hate it.”

You had similar thoughts about Rafe, but you kept that to yourself. Sometimes it scared you just how alike he and JJ were, just how much they had in common. You both heard and felt Rafe sigh, and you wondered if his mind had gone to the same place that yours had.

“You’re a good friend,” Rafe murmured, and you looked at him just as he brushed a finger down your face. “I like that about you.”

You gave him a soft smile.

“I try to be.”

Sometimes you doubted yourself. Especially when it came to JJ. You often wondered if you were wrong to put your history with Rafe behind you. It wasn’t like you had talked to any of them besides Sarah about it first. Someone somewhere would probably argue that you didn’t need to, but you weren’t so sure.

It wasn’t like Rafe had only been mean to you. He had an ugly history with all of you, JJ especially, and while the morals behind it were subjective, you were sure almost anyone could agree that it was insensitive at best. It was like JJ announcing that he was seeing some girl who’d made your life hell at one point, and you suddenly had a better perspective on his side of things.

You were pulled from your thoughts when Rafe stood. You watched him pull on his pants before reaching into the pocket. You straightened, curious as he pulled out a small box.

“I know fancy jewelry isn’t your thing,” he started, sitting back down. “…and this reminded me of you, anyway.”

Rafe opened it, pulling out a simple gold necklace with a pink seashell attached. On instinct, you turned around, and he brought it over your head. His fingers brushed over your skin as he clasped it, hands resting on your shoulders as you played with it.

“You like it, right?”

Your eyes met his over your shoulder, and you brushed your lips over his, reassuring him.

“Of course, I do.”

He nodded, a crooked smile on his lips. His fingers ghosted over your hand, and Rafe exhaled.

“I don’t want you to think I’m trying to buy you or anything like that,” he quietly told you. “…but all I want to do is buy you everything I see.”

He chuckled, and you joined him.

“I’m not used to it, that’s all. That’s the only reason it makes me a little uncomfortable, but I don’t think that. Besides,” you said, kissing him. “I can’t be bought anyway.”

“You sure you don’t want a snow cone?” Kie asked again as she brought John B. his, happy with her own.

“I’m good. They can get messy anyway.”

“That’s half the fun,” Pope spoke up, leaning back in his seat.

Kie took her seat too, excited for the movie to start.

It was warm outside, but not too warm to the point of being uncomfortable. You could hear some parents shushing their kids, the projector turning on as the sun made its descent. You felt like it had been a minute since all of you hung out like you used to, no tension or unspoken words hovering around. JJ’s arm brushed against yours as he shifted in his seat, and you smiled at him.

After he had apologized, things felt more like what they used to be than they had in a while. You didn’t know if it was because JJ had snapped, letting out everything he’d been keeping inside for months and making you aware of just how much he’d been struggling with this… Or because everything being out and in the open now had relieved him, had been the first necessary step to actually trying now.

“Rafe didn’t want to come?”

JJ’s voice was low, but you heard him all the same. You resisted the urge to sigh, remembering the disappointment on your face when Rafe had to decline.

“Family thing,” was your only explanation.

Neither of you commented on the fact that Sarah was here, clearly not held to the same obligations that Rafe was. Ward wasn’t even your dad, and you swore he pissed you off almost as much as he did Rafe. Sometimes you wanted to talk about it, but Rafe wasn’t known for expressing his emotions in a healthy way, and that hadn’t changed just because he was dating you. You would’ve loved to at least talk to Sarah about it, wanting some help on what you could do, but that…

That didn’t seem like a good idea.

You loved Sarah, like a sister, but you doubted that she’d ever admit to Ward’s favoritism. Sure, Rafe didn’t help the situation, but Sarah would probably never accept that it had been happening since she was born. She’d take it the wrong way, would feel like you were saying she had some blame, and you only just got one friendship back on steady ground. You didn’t want to shake the table on another.

JJ could probably relate to Rafe the most, but considering how much abuse JJ had to put up with, you didn’t know if he’d appreciate you coming to him about Rafe. JJ wouldn’t think the two situations were comparable. He’d probably laugh in your face if you tried to make him feel bad for Rafe Cameron, the guy who seemingly had everything. You could practically see how that would go.

“His dad gives him a hard time here and there and suddenly he’s like me? Tell me more about him confiding in you while lounging on his daddy’s yacht,” he’d say.

You were so deep in thought, the movie just a blur to you now, that you almost missed the vibration in your pocket. Your phone was on silent, but not off, and you slipped it out of your pocket with a frown. It deepened at the sight of Rafe’s name. You could feel eyes on you when you stood, slipping away to answer it without disturbing anyone.

“Hey…”

Your tone was inquiring. Rafe knew that you were at movie night with your friends, so you gathered that he wouldn’t have called you if it wasn’t important. You were right.

“Hey…uh…” you heard him sniff, and you stiffened. “You still at that movie thing?”

“Yeah,” you glanced over your shoulder at your friends. “Rafe, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he hurried to say. “I just uh…I really need to see you.”

He was lying.

You could tell that something was wrong. It was evident in the way his voice shook, in the way he slurred his words a bit, and you remembered that he’d been with Ward tonight. You wondered what happened, what the other man had sad, and your hand tightened on your phone.

“Um,” you breathed, looking around. “I can come by-.”

“No, no, no, I can come get you,” he interrupted, and you could hear him starting his truck. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll come get you.”

He hung up before you could say anything else, and while you felt bad about leaving your friends, your concern outweighed that. They were curiously looking at you when you returned, watching you grab your stuff.

“Everything okay?” Sarah wondered.

“I don’t know,” you honestly answered. “Rafe is getting me. Something’s wrong.”

Sarah looked worried, and you shook your head, calming her down.

“No one’s hurt or anything…I don’t think,” you added. “He…he sounded off. Something’s wrong.”

Her shoulders fell at that, and they all looked disappointed that you were leaving. JJ’s expression was unreadable when you looked at him.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized to all of them. “He knows I’m here with you, so he wouldn’t call if it wasn’t serious-.”

“Y/N, it’s okay. There’ll be other movie nights.”

John B.’s words made you feel better, and you waved them all goodbye. You were barely in the parking lot for a minute when Rafe’s truck pulled in. He was quick to park, hopping out and helping you put your stuff in the back seat. You eyed him, taking in his taut expression, jaw clenched.

He didn’t say anything when he helped you inside, leaving you to stare at the door when he closed it. Your eyes were on him again when he hopped in, his own cold gaze focused on the road as he pulled off. You wanted to give him a minute, a chance maybe to get his mind together, but it became clear that he wasn’t going to tell you what was wrong.

So, you asked.

“Did something happen?”

Rafe blinked at that, pulling his lips between his teeth. His skin stretched over his knuckles as he tightened his hand on the wheel, briefly looking out the window.

“Rafe…”

You were getting worried. He was so quiet, and that unnerved you. You reached for him when you noticed his lips trembling.

“I don’t know what he wants from me,” he slowly said.

You sighed, disappointment and anger filling you as you realized what and who this was about.

“He’s not happy when I fuck up…a-and he’s not happy when I do something right…”

“Rafe-.”

“I mean…I’m starting to think that he’s just not happy with me…at all. As in, what am I even doing here?”

“Don’t-.”

“…because it’s becoming pretty clear to me that he doesn’t want me around, at all.”

“Rafe, please don’t say that,” you whispered. “That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?” he bit out, teeth clenched. “What else am I supposed to think when me simply existing seems to upset him. What else could that possibly mean?”

He looked at you then, and that was when you noticed it. Rafe took notice of your gaze, and his face fell just as your heart did, reaching up to wipe his nose as he turned his face back towards the road.

“Are you high?”

Rafe didn’t answer, opening and closing his mouth, but his silence was confirmation enough. You heaved a sigh, more disappointed than anything else.

“Rafe, pull over.”

He didn’t listen to you, hands tightening on the wheel, mind more than likely going a mile a minute.

“You know Sarah didn’t even have to come tonight? Nah, of course, you knew because she was with you, right?”

“She was,” you quietly confirmed, just focused on trying to get him to calm down.

Your boyfriend laughed at that, but it lacked humor, filled with bitterness instead.

“He’s already decided that she’ll turn out better than me. Already made his choice,” he forced out, and your chest tightened at the tears in his eyes. “I almost wish he’d just wash his hands of me and be done with it.”

“No-.”

“That’d be better than whatever this is,” he choked out. “At least I’d know where I stand.”

The trees were flying past you when you looked out of the window, and you swallowed.

“That’s because he hasn’t given up on you,” you tried to placate him, but you were also speaking your mind.

“Bullshit,” he sneered, shaking his head.

“Rafe, you need to slow down,” you told him, hand on his arm.

“He’s taking her to the Bahamas with him,” he choked out, ignoring your words. “Sarah. He’s taking her to talk about the company, but not me? His oldest? His only son?”

His eyes were on you, one hand grazing his chest, and you fought with him to keep his eyes on the road.

“Rafe…”

He was rambling, pupils blown and mind moving too fast for his lips to keep up with. Your heart raced when you glanced at the speedometer, and again, you tried to get him to pull over or at least slow down. You wiped his face, but it was like he didn’t fully register your presence, talking to you but not really seeing or hearing you.

“You’re the only one who’s on my side,” he tearfully told you, looking at you.

“Okay, okay, but Rafe, I need you to look at-.”

“The only one who actually cares about me and what I want.”

“I know,” you whispered, nodding with him. “…but I really need you to keep your eyes on the road.”

He glanced at the road, but that didn’t last long, his gaze returning to you.

“…and I don’t know what I would do without you, because you actually listen to me…and you see how he treats me…and you’re always there…”

His words became background noise when you glanced at the road again, watching as his truck drifted into the other lane again. You almost pulled your eyes away when headlights caught your attention. Your eyes widened, hands tightening on him as you let out a gasp.

“Rafe!”

Your scream had him following your gaze, and he was quick to swerve back into his lane, but between the coke and the panic, he overcorrected.

You braced your hands against the glove compartment as the truck dipped down off of the road, the speed at which Rafe was driving causing it to flip completely. You squeezed your eyes shut just as the sound of breaking glass reached your ears, and you could feel Rafe’s arm pressing against your chest.

A scream was stuck in your throat, stomach flipping in time with the vehicle. One of your hands was clinging to Rafe’s arm, the other to your seatbelt, now. You were gritting your teeth so hard it was a wonder they didn’t break, and as the truck rolled again, your head hit the inside of the passenger door. Even with your eyes closed, stars clouded your vision.

His truck came to an abrupt stop when the tail end of it hit a tree, a startled gasp escaping you. The ringing in your ears was loud, and your eyes were still closed, not quite remembering how to open them. Adrenaline was coursing through you, and you knew that once it disappeared, everything was going to hit your body at once.

When you peeled your eyes open, the first thing you noticed was that your vision swam. You could hear Rafe stumbling out of the truck, and you could barely keep everything from swaying. You blinked, reaching up to touch your head just as Rafe opened your door. He was saying something to you, but you couldn’t quite make it out.

He reached over you, undoing your seatbelt and practically carrying you out.

“Does anything hurt? Y/N?” he called your name when you didn’t answer.

“I don’t…I don’t know,” you honestly answered as he set you on your feet.

You brought your hand up, noticing the blood on it, and your mind didn’t register how alarming that was. Rafe’s hands were on your face, forcing you to look at him.

“Look at me,” he whispered, lightly tapping your face when your lashes fluttered. “Baby, look at me.”

The world was tilting again, and he caught you when your knees buckled. You could hear his heart racing in his chest, hear him swallow as he held you to him.

“Okay, okay,” he breathed. “We’re going to get you to the hospital. I’m calling Topper.”

“You can’t…you can’t come,” you slowly exhaled.

Rafe paused with the phone in his hand, frowning at you. He helped you stand up straight, leaning you against his truck. He looked at you like you were crazy, some blood on his cheek from where some glass got him.

“What are you…?”

“You’re high,” his voice trailed off when you spoke, pointing out the obvious to him.

You watched his face fall, the realization hitting him, and he licked his lips. Rafe glanced away, expression troubled before shaking his head.

“I don’t care-.”

“Rafe,” your voice held more conviction, now. “You crashed your truck. You almost caused a really bad accident…and you’re high.”

He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the words to argue with you.

“Please… You can’t come with me,” you struggled to say. “Let Topper take me, and I’ll just meet you back at your house.”

Rafe ran one hand through his hair, a deep frown on his face.

“I can’t just leave you-.”

“I will meet you back at your house,” you tried to stand on your own, but swayed again, and his arms wrapped around your waist. “Call Sarah. Just tell her…I got into an accident, and I’ll come back with her.”

Rafe looked like he wanted to argue so badly, lips pressed together and tears in his eyes, but he knew you were right. They would ask him all kinds of questions, check him out too, and you didn’t want to think about what would happen, what Ward would say. He leaned you against him while he called Topper, routinely shaking you to keep you awake.

“Oh my God,” Sarah cried, pulling you into a hug.

You had paperwork in your hand as you hugged her back. Her arms were tight around you, and when you visibly flinched, she was quick to let you go. You hated hospitals, and you were relieved that you could finally go.

“When Rafe said you got into an accident, we all thought the worst,” she said.

You were pulling away from John B. now when Pope pulled you into a hug next.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Kie whispered, hands on your face. “What happened? They wouldn’t tell us anything.”

You sighed, licking your lips and avoiding their eyes.

“I was driving Rafe’s truck…when this car just came out of nowhere.”

It hurt to shrug, and your eyes met JJ’s then. He was frowning at you, studying your face, but he pulled you into a hug anyway. He deeply inhaled, breathing you in, and you didn’t want to think about how worried they’d all been. Especially JJ who struggled to let you go.

“You were driving Rafe’s truck by yourself?” John B. wondered, and you pulled away from JJ.

You hesitated, but Pope spoke before you could think about what you were going to say.

“You’re fine though, right?”

“Yeah,” you were quick to answer. “They said I have a slight concussion, but they gave me something for it and said that someone will need to monitor me for the next 12-24 hours. Watch me sleep. Wake me up every few hours and ask me questions, stuff like that.”

JJ was still frowning at you when you glanced at him again, and you quickly looked away.

“Of course,” Sarah said, taking your hand and guiding you out of the hospital. “Even if Rafe wasn’t frantic about you, you’d still be staying at my place, tonight.”

“Yeah, why wasn’t Rafe with you? And why didn’t he come to the hospital?”

You struggled to answer Kie’s question as you slid into the passenger seat of her jeep. The rest piled into the back seat, Sarah on John B.’s lap, but the Camerons’ house wasn’t far, so it wasn’t a big deal.

“Ward,” was all you could come up with, a lie.

It was a lie that was easy enough to believe, you supposed. However, when you looked in the mirror, your gaze meeting JJ’s, that frown was still on his face.

“Ward wouldn’t let Rafe come and see his girlfriend at the hospital after she crashed his car?”

You could tell by JJ’s tone that he didn’t believe you, and you looked out of the window.

“I guess not…”

You had only lost consciousness once during the hours that you’d spent at the hospital, waking up an hour later and waiting on an update on how you were. You had texted Rafe as soon as you knew, promising him that you would see him later. Even after Topper had arrived, you had spent a good fifteen minutes in Rafe’s yard convincing him to stay.

What had happened was an accident, a genuine accident, and Rafe felt bad enough without getting into serious trouble for driving under the influence. You felt sick to your stomach for lying to your friends about something so serious, but you knew how they would react. You knew that they would make it into something bigger.

Rafe’s truck was totaled, and you had to go to the hospital. There was no doubt in your mind that Rafe knew how badly he messed up. He didn’t need to hear it from them too.

They said their goodbyes when you and Sarah hopped out of Kie’s car, but they were cut short when JJ hopped out too. You thought that maybe he was getting in the front, taking your spot, but you frowned when he walked towards you. His blue eyes raked over you, taking in the cut on the side of your head and the slight bruising under your eye.

A sinking feeling grew in your gut.

“Rafe picked you up from movie night…”

You blinked, fighting to hold his gaze.

“So, how did you end up in his truck alone?”

“JJ,” you heard Kie sigh, frustration and disappointment coloring her tone.

“We all know what Rafe is like. Ward’s not gonna stop him from doing what he wants to do…” your heart sank. “So, why wasn’t he at the hospital with you? Why didn’t he at least meet you there? Hmm?”

You swallowed, unsure if it was the concussion or medicine or combination of both that kept you from coming up with an answer. JJ stared at you, and you stared at him, almost pleadingly as you silently begged him to let it go. JJ swiped his tongue along his lips, eyes dimming as he dropped his head, nodding to himself.

When he lifted his gaze to meet yours again, there was a small smile on his pink lips, but it lacked humor.

“Rafe was driving…wasn’t he?”

You didn’t answer, and your silence caused Sarah to look at you. You avoided her gaze, keeping your own on JJ as he did the same to you.

“Wait…what?” you heard Kie say.

She hurriedly got out of her car, followed by Pope and John B. now.

“Wait, wait,” Sarah finally spoke, hands up. “No. If Rafe was driving, he would’ve been at the hospital. He wouldn’t just leave her.”

“No, I don’t think he would,” JJ seemed reluctant to admit. “Unless someone made him.”

“JJ, that doesn’t make any sense,” John B. told him.

“It does if she’s protecting him,” he said with a shrug.

You rolled your eyes towards the sky at that, feeling angry even though you knew you had no right to be. It’s not like JJ was wrong, and it’s not like he was doing anything wrong by pointing out what you’d tried to hide. He was just being a good friend…but you hated him for it.

“JJ…”

“Let me guess…drunk…?”

“No,” Sarah quietly mumbled, in disbelief.

You crossed your arms over your chest, avoiding your friends’ eyes.

“No, wait, this is Rafe we’re talking about. So…high, right?”

When your tearful eyes met his again, the blond nodded, both satisfied and disappointed. The silence was loud, and you didn’t know what to say. You could feel all of them staring at you, and you licked your lips. Pope called your name, and you blinked, a few tears escaping as you looked at him.

“It was an accident,” you whispered to him, looking between all of them as they reacted. “It was an accident.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kie cried. “Look at you!”

“You act like he got behind the wheel with the intention of crashing his truck,” you argued. “He didn’t mean to!”

“He didn’t mean to? That’s the best you’ve got?”

Your head was hurting, and you didn’t pop enough pills to deal with this. You made your way towards the house, but you could hear footsteps right behind you. It should’ve come as no surprise that it was JJ.

“I am trying,” was the first thing he said when he forced you to face him. “I promised that I would be better, and I am trying, but you have to meet me halfway.”

You opened your mouth, but he continued.

“What am I supposed to say—do when you wind up in the hospital with bruises and a concussion because your boyfriend snorted a few lines of coke and thought it was a good idea to drive? Tell me how I’m supposed to react to that.”

You were at a loss for words…because he was right. JJ had every right to be angry, and that’s what you hated the most. You opened and closed your mouth, unsure of what to say when his attention was drawn elsewhere. You heard the door open, and you turned to Rafe, blinking at the cut on his cheek and bruising on his forehead.

“See?”

You turned around, watching as JJ gestured to Rafe, looking between him and your friends. Sarah’s expression was the only one you could focus on, the disappointment and anger in her eyes evident as she glared at her brother.

“JJ-.”

“What is wrong with you?” he interrupted, gaze focused on Rafe. “Aside from the obvious-.”

“JJ!”

He wasn’t paying you any attention, all of it reserved for your boyfriend. You both heard and felt Rafe come closer, his chest grazing your back.

“This isn’t any of your business,” Rafe quietly told him, his hand on your arm.

“You put my best friend in the hospital, and I’m not allowed to say anything?”

“JJ, please…”

John B. and Pope were near him now, worriedly looking between him and Rafe.

“Look at you,” he snapped, his gaze meeting yours now. “When Topper called Sarah, he said you could barely walk.”

You blinked, unaware that Topper had called Sarah too.

“Why are you defending him? Is it the concussion? Is that it?”

You blanched, pressing yourself against Rafe as he attempted to move closer.

“Do not talk to her like that,” your boyfriend threatened, tone icy.

“As opposed to what? Driving her into a tree?”

Rafe was silent when JJ looked at him, and you exhaled.

“JJ, it was an accident,” you reiterated.

“He could’ve killed you.”

He wasn’t looking at you as he said this, but at Rafe, and you glanced over your shoulder when he didn’t say anything. Rafe’s jaw was clenched, eyes softening some at JJ’s words. Your heart sank because you could tell that they got to him, Rafe unable to say anything back…because it was true. And he agreed. You watched him swallow, tearfully looking away before gently rubbing your back.

“I’ll be inside,” he quietly told you.

You stared after him, fighting back tears before facing JJ again.

“You don’t think he feels bad enough?”

“He should,” JJ sneered. “You could’ve died! Do you get that?”

“Yes, I do!” you screamed, and Sarah was beside you now, pulling you back some. “…but you’re acting like he did this on purpose. He didn’t mean to.”

JJ stared at you for what felt like too long, an expression you couldn’t place taking over his features.

“You know who you sound like?” he finally asked, voice low. “Me.”

“JJ,” John B. warned, and you frowned in confusion.

Your brows knitted together, unsure of what he meant as he just…looked at you.

“You sound just like me…making excuse after excuse…when I show up on your doorstep…”

Your eyes widened, understanding washing over you, and JJ’s head snapped to the side when you struck him. Sarah was pulling you back, and you were so in shock that she did it with ease. Your hand stung, and your mouth fell open as you stared at the blond. Kie looked just as shocked as you felt as Pope held JJ back.

“Rafe is nothing like your dad,” you slowly sneered. “If you even knew…”

You trailed off, taking a deep breath and swallowing. Your chest hurt so much, disgusted that JJ would even think such a thing.

“You wouldn’t even make that comparison.”

“…and yet here we are, fighting because I dared to point out that your boyfriend did a shitty thing…and almost killed you in the process.”

You blinked, more tears falling as JJ shrugged at you. John B. urged him away, begging him to ‘come on’. Kie and Pope threw you apologetic looks, and you barely registered the sound of Sarah’s voice as she pulled you inside. You couldn’t stop crying, no matter how much you tried, and she gave you a paper towel once you got inside.

She rubbed your back, staring at you as you repeatedly wiped your face.

“Sarah,” you choked out. “I’m not…I’m not stupid…am I?”

You looked at her, and she frowned at you.

“No, of course not,” she said with a shake of her head.

“It was an accident…”

Her face fell at that, lips pressing together. She took a deep breath, glancing away.

“Yeah…it-it was…”

You eyed her, carefully watching her expression.

“…but…?”

She held your gaze, her own expression very serious.

“Rafe could’ve killed you.”

Your lips trembled again at that, and you looked away.

“I’m sorry, but I’m on JJ’s side with this one,” she admitted, making more tears fall. “No, I don’t agree with him comparing Rafe to his dad. That… He shouldn’t have done that, but Rafe got high…he let you get into his truck…and he almost killed you both.”

You swallowed.

“That’s not good,” she whispered. “…and I know it was an accident. I know that, because Rafe would never go out of his way to hurt you, but…”

She gave a humorless chuckle.

“That doesn’t make it better.”

You stumbled back, falling onto the couch and pressing your hands to your eyes.

“He didn’t mean to,” you repeated, shaking your head.

You felt Sarah sit down beside you, rubbing your back and arms.

“I know,” she sighed. “I know.”

You rested your head on her shoulder, squeezing your eyes shut as she held you.

When you got out of Rafe’s shower, he was nowhere to be found. You had stolen one of his shirts, skin still damp as you peeked into the hall for any sign of him. You didn’t see him, but you did hear his voice coming from downstairs. It was only when you made it to the stairs that you realized he wasn’t alone.

Sarah’s voice was clear.

“You know, I rarely agree with JJ on anything…”

You sat down on a step, defeated as you realized what they were talking about.

“…but he was right…and you know it.”

“I don’t need shit from you, okay?” Rafe drawled.

They were in the kitchen, out of sight, but their voices made it sound like they were right next to you.

“You could’ve killed her.”

You looked down at Sarah’s words, swallowing as your gaze focused on your feet.

“…and I know that you’ve been hearing that all night, but you’re going to hear it a few more times.”

Sarah’s voice was thick, choked up with emotion, and you felt tears kiss your eyes.

“When I gave her my blessing to date you, I did it because I trusted you with her,” she harshly whispered. “…I thought you’d be different…better.”

“I am!”

“You’re still doing the same shit you always do, Rafe! Only this time, you’re taking her with you,” Sarah argued. “You wanna snort coke until your whole nose is gone? Fine. You want to drink yourself into an early grave? Whatever, but leave her out of it.”

You brought your knees to your chest.

“I saw the truck. I went with dad when he had it collected,” she whispered. “You both were extremely lucky.”

You heard Rafe sniff, and you fought the urge to go in there and wrap your arms around him.

“I fucked up. I know that, okay?” Rafe mumbled. “You don’t think I knew that when I had to basically pull her out of my truck? When she kept falling? When I didn’t want her to close her eyes because I didn’t know if she’d open them again?”

You slowly stood, feeling like you shouldn’t be listening to this.

“I’m going to do better,” he shakily whispered to Sarah. “I promise, I am.”

“You better,” Sarah bit out. “…because if anything happens to my best friend, JJ will be the least of your problems.”

“Trust me, JJ doesn’t need a reason to start fights with me…”

“…and yet you just gave him the perfect reason,” Sarah scoffed. “He’s never going to let this go…”

Sarah’s words faded as you got up and went back to Rafe’s room.

She was right, they all were right, and you hated it. What Rafe had done was serious, you knew that, and you knew that no matter how many times you repeated that it was an accident, it wouldn’t change anything. Rafe hadn’t gotten high just to get high, and you wished they could understand the effect Ward had on him.

It wasn’t an excuse, just a reason.

You still thought about the hurt and shock you’d felt when JJ compared Rafe to his dad. It wasn’t even remotely the same, and the memory made your chest clench painfully. Aside from that though, you knew that JJ had every right to be as angry as he was, and you hated more than anything that he had another reason to hate Rafe.

When Rafe came back to his room, he found you sitting cross-legged on his bed. You perked up at the sight of him, smiling, and he weakly returned it. He swallowed when you held your hand out, and reluctantly, he took it, allowing you to pull him closer.

“You didn’t mean to…”

Rafe gave a bitter laugh.

“That’s what scares me.”

You frowned, taking a deep breath.

“Things happen, Rafe…and it was an accident.”

“An accident that almost killed you.”

You pulled him down beside you, brushing your lips against the corner of his mouth. You wrapped yourself around him, holding him close.

“Rafe…please, please, please don’t beat yourself up over this…please,” you choked out.

There were tears in your eyes when he refused to look at you, dirty blond strands hanging into his face.

“I’m not good enough for you.”

His voice was barely a whisper, and you took his chin, forcing him to meet your gaze. You hated the troubled look in his eyes.

“That’s not for you to decide.”

He didn’t respond to that, only nodding in defeat, not putting up a fight when you pulled him to lay down with you. When you kissed him, he seemed hesitant to kiss you back, your hands on his as you guided them over your skin. At some point, he didn’t need your help, fully being hit with the knowledge that things could’ve gone so wrong. Rafe was afraid to let you go, and even after you came around him for the third time, he still refused to let you go.

#dark!jj maybank x reader #dark!jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x pogue!reader #jj maybanks #rafe cameron x pogue!reader #rafe cameron x reader #obx #outer banks fanfiction

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oliversrarebooks · 5 months

Text

The Rare Bookseller Part 31: Fitz's Showtime

Masterlist

June 1905

TW: mind control, captivity, hypnotic induction

Fitz wasn't one for making plans, normally trusting in his ability to wing his way through any situation life threw at him. That approach had worked well enough until it had ended up with him imprisoned in a vampires' auction house.

Over the past few days, he'd already suffered what was practically a fate worse than death: being left with nothing to do but stew in his own mind. His treacherous brain had helpfully supplied an exhaustive list of every mistake he'd made along the way to end up here, and all of the ways he could have avoided this fate now that it was too late.

But with his cell neighbors unresponsive -- and he didn't want to think too hard about how that might have come about -- there wasn't anything at all to occupy him apart from meals and sleep. The meals were surprisingly generous and varied, and Fitz supposed that if they really were vampires, they must be fattening him up the way you would a prized pig. Sleep was less generous, as the pitch blackness, complete silence, stiff cot, and vampire guards all conspired to make him uneasy.

So he had plenty of time to think of how he would approach it when Lily came for his mind. Now, he'd ended up in a plush, too-comfortable chair, facing down the vampire who'd captured him.

He wasn't even tied down. He'd been nothing but ingratiating towards the vampires the whole time he'd been here. Lily had made it beyond obvious that he wasn't going to escape through strength or speed, and on his first night, he personally witnessed an angry, cursing, struggling man being dragged away and coming back a hollow shell.

No, that sort of struggle was pointless. He could instead bide his time. Be friendly and charming. Hope that someone would let their guard down or give him a special privilege. He'd have an easier time of it and more opportunities to free himself. At least, that was the theory.

Of course, all of that was for naught if he were actually put deep under whatever mesmeric spell they were using to keep the other captives still and silent.

He knew very well now that Lily was capable of it. He also knew that simply resisting would not do -- little chance they would give up and let him go instead of trying over and over again until he was broken. No, the only thing to do would be to play along, pretend to be under her spell, and hope he could keep the spell from touching him in truth. The longest of long shots, but he didn't have a better idea.

"So I hear you've been on your best behavior," said Lily with a smug smile. "Joking around with the blood grader and everything."

Fitz lounged in the chair as though his existence weren't on the line. "I wouldn't dream of being rude to a man who calls my blood special grade A fancy."

"And here I worried you might be trouble. But it seems you do know your place, better than you think," said Lily. "That's why I have a proposition for you."

"If it's another five dollar bet, I'm going to have to respectfully pass on that."

"Oh, no, nothing like that," she said, amused. "As I told you before, I'd like to sell you to a friend with deep pockets and a soft heart. I think he will appreciate you. The less you resist the conditioning, the more I can allow you to keep that wit of yours. That works out for both of us, doesn't it?"

"Oh, yes, just peachy," he said. She couldn't possibly think he was daft enough to trust her a second time, not when she held all the cards.

"I know you don't believe me, but it's actually a great deal for you. You'd live in a mansion and have an easy life, all in exchange for just a bit of blood." Her words were honeyed, and Fitz could practically feel them worming their way into his mind. "You won't have to be Fitzwilliam de Hastings, disgraceful and useless third son of the de Hastings shipping conglomerate. You won't have to be Phantom Fitz, scraping and clawing for fame with your little magic tricks. You can just be Fitz. Loved. Wanted. Cherished."

If only any of that were true. If only it weren't just a trick to soften his mind and get him to accept a vampiric master, one who would "love" and "cherish" him the same way he might "cherish" a fine bottle of wine.

"As intriguing as all of that is, and as flattered as I am by those lovely descriptions of me, I'm going to have to decline your offer," he said with a tight smile.

Her own smile turned predatory. "You haven't really given me a chance to persuade you."

"I think I've heard --"

"Have you, though? Or have you been half paying attention while focused all on yourself?" she said, leaning in closer. "Here I am, my entire focus centered on you, and you aren't repaying the favor. Why don't you focus, Fitz? Why don't you relax?"

There was no doubt she was exerting her power this time. Fitz could feel the magnetic pull of it. This was it, this was showtime -- the moment he had to somehow convince her that he was being enthralled, without actually falling. He couldn't make it seem too sudden or she wouldn't buy it. What should he do? Should he be visibly affected by what she just did? But he'd hesitated and --

"You think too much," she said. "I'm going to need to stop that first. Slow and soothe your mind, make it so hard to think that you just give in and listen. Look where all your thinking and scheming has gotten you. Won't it feel so much nicer not to do that?"

He nodded, with a bit of hesitation, widening his eyes, playacting that her mesmerism was taking him down once more. Lily was good at luring a mark, but so was he.

"Yes, isn't that easy?" she said, amused. "Just let my words soothe you so you can listen. It'll feel so good when those racing thoughts slow down. We both know it's inevitable, so why keep searching for an escape that won't come? Why not take the easy and pleasant path?"

"Because, as I told you before, I don't care to be a vampire's convenient lunch box," he said, making sure to slow his voice and lace it with doubt. The more she thought he was falling, the more careless she would be.

"It's so cute to watch your thoughts turn in your head. I can practically see them, dear. I can see that machinery working those threads of thought, weaving them together into plans and fears and witty little comments. I can see all the weaknesses in those gears, all the places where they can easily be slowed. Can you see it?"

"Hm?" he said, caught off guard, not sure how he should respond to that one. Did she suspect what he was up to? Of course she might, she might've mesmerized hundreds of people for all he knew, and he surely wasn't the first to think of pretending.

But that didn't mean she was always successful. Of course she claimed that she was. That was an important part of the confidence game; he would've done the same in her shoes. But for all he knew, her actual success rate was poor. Surely he wouldn't be the first to fool her. After all...

After all, he was...

Fitz blinked, trying to remember the end to that thought.

"...you don't even need to listen as your mind slowly drains of its cares and worries... so relaxed... so comfortable..."

He shook himself in mild alarm. She'd been talking this whole time and he'd zoned out thinking and hadn't kept up his act. He arranged his face into what he hoped was a convincingly dazed expression.

"How are you feeling, Fitz?" she asked.

"...Good," he said, an answer that seemed safe, as he wasn't quite sure how she expected him to feel.

"Good," she repeated. "Isn't this nice? Having someone's full attention on you without having to fight to earn it? Isn't it nice to be so wanted?"

His brow furrowed. "Well..."

"That's how it's going to be from now on. No more fight for attention, no more fight for approval, no more fight for survival. You'll have your needs taken care of and overflowing praise to boot. Just like you crave, deep down."

Oh, she was good. Good enough to make his chest ache with the thought of what she was offering. If only...

"You're going to be the best thrall, Fitz. I've never seen anyone as delectable, handsome, and charming, with such an intoxicating scent. You'll have your vampire eating out of the palm of your hand -- literally, perhaps."

Fitz blinked slowly, wondering how he should react to keep up the game, trying to ignore the warm sensations he got from the praise, no matter how manipulative and insincere "Do you think that cheap flattery will work on --"

"Look at me," she said, hooking a finger under his chin and gazing straight into his eyes. "You can see it, can't you? A future of being cherished and loved?"

"I --"

"Imagine a vampire who wants you, one who wants so badly to drink deep of your blood that he practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll want you always by his side, his beloved prize, protected and treasured."

It wasn't hard to imagine. It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about things like this on lonely, difficult nights. Something beyond sex and courtship. Intimacy. Comfort.

The kind of things that he hardly dared to think about for long, lest he feel their absence too keenly. The kind of things that were meant for those who had grown up wanted, who knew how to trust and let themselves fall in love. These delights weren't meant for the kind of person who wore a mask wherever he went and conned everyone he met.

"Just relax." She ran her fingers through his hair. "No more pain, no more struggle. No more struggle, now. No more struggle."

If any of this were true, it really wouldn't be so bad.

"No more struggle, no more fighting, no more resisting."

"I'm..." he mumbled. "I'm not..." He had to pretend that he was falling. He let his eyes blink so slowly.

"Oh, my dear, my Fitz, I know you aren't. You're doing such a good job right now."

His eyelids fluttered. "I am?"

"Yes, yes you are. You're doing such a good job. I told you, you're a natural. You're perfect."

He couldn't help but smile. That was good. She believed it was working.

"That's a good boy now. All you really want is approval, isn't it? For someone to see you and decide they're exactly what they need."

"Yeah..."

"You're going to have that, and all the praise and approval you could ever want," she said. "I promise."

He couldn't trust her, he remembered. This was all fake, just like every other time he'd been promised something. But he had to pretend that he believed. He was good at pretending.

"That's right, you're good at pretending. You're doing such a good job pretending to go under for me, Fitz."

Fitz felt the relief wash over him. Thank goodness for that. He'd been so nervous about this the past few nights, trying to convince himself that he'd be just fine outsmarting a vampire and saving himself.

Wait --

"It's okay!" Lily laughed. "It's okay, really. I know what you're up to. I expected that from you, of course. And I know what you fear. You fear being made mindless and docile like most of your cell-mates."

Fitz crushed down his panic. His plan wasn't working, his mind already felt hazy and sluggish from Lily's mesmerism, and now his worst nightmare might be about to come true. He'd spent so long escaping from a family where every little word and move was regimented, scrutinized, criticized, judged and punished. At least in those days he could escape into his head. Now, he'd be brought back to that place, with no recourse.

"...Yes, obviously, I fear that," he said, hating how vulnerable he sounded but not knowing what else to say. "Who wouldn't?"

"Who wouldn't?" she echoed. "But it doesn't matter, ultimately, because I've already given you a powerful hypnotic trigger the first time I had you in my thrall, and told you to forget it."

Adrenaline surged through him. "No, there's no way you --"

"Showtime, Fitz."

He only had one more brief moment to panic before his mind shut down entirely.

---

"...two, one, and wake. Come back to the land of the living now, Fitz."

He opened his eyes, feeling like he'd just awoken from a really refreshing nap. It took him a second to realize where he was and what had just happened to him, and all relaxation was immediately wiped out by his fear. Miss Lily had given him a hypnotic trigger, she must have erased his mind, he'd be nothing more than --

Except... he clearly wasn't.

"Confused?"

"You..." He wasn't really sure how to approach this. "You didn't wipe my mind, sir."

"Did you want me to?" she asked with a grin.

"No! Absolutely not, sir," he said. "But you had me -- you knocked me out --" He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to make sense the overwhelming swirl of thoughts in his mind. Grateful that he still had an overwhelming swirl of thoughts in his mind. "What did you do, sir?"

"I made you obedient to vampires. I removed your ability to escape. And I made you crave our feedings. Nothing more, nothing less."

Fitz stared. It couldn't be that simple. Not that he was thrilled about the changes, but he had expected much more and much worse.

But he didn't feel different. He was still capable of thought. He was still nervous. He could still remember who he was.

"If that's all you were going to do, sir... why did you bother with all of your setup? Why not just mesmerize me the moment I walked in?"

"Because mesmerism is a performance, dear Fitz. I thought that you of all humans would understand that," she said.

Fitz could feel his eyebrow twitch.

"There's magic involved, of course, or it wouldn't take so strongly, but magic alone doesn't make me so effective at molding perfect thralls. Cold reading, misdirection, distraction -- all of these are critical to what I do. I needed your original plan to fail before I truly conditioned you, and I needed to plant the seeds that a vampire might cherish and accept you. The results speak for themselves, don't you think?"

"I'm not even sure I can tell what the results are, sir."

"Precisely."

Fitz scowled. Was he really that obedient now? Did she actually make him "crave their feedings"? So he would just accept some bloodsucker gently tilting his head to expose his vulnerable neck... a wicked grin as sharp fangs grew closer... his mind growing hazy with pleasure...

"Oh, goddamn it, sir."

Miss Lily laughed. "Now do you see?"

It was a relief, in a way, that he could feel the results of the thrall now. That meant he could get a bead on what she'd done to him. "Yes, I'm afraid I do, sir -- hold on, you also made me call you 'sir', didn't you?"

"Any vampire. Yes. But you're allowed to say it as sarcastically as you want."

"Thank you for that most gracious allowance, sir."

"Oh, you're very welcome."

Part 30.5 >> Masterlist >> Part 32

Extras: Emily's Crayons Fitz in the Snow

Fitz's Volunteer Part One

Thank you for reading about Fitz.

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