#patriarchy all day all the time and it's heart wrenching and soul crushing and unbearable and sometimes the worst part of being alive
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this is not how mental illnesses work but i truly feel that if i look at jensen ackles too much i will develop gender dysphoria
#if i was braindead i would reblog gifs of him and be like 'gender'#which is cringe as hell cause it glorifies gender roles which are harmful as hell#but i also fully understand that in the gender role obsessed world we live it's possible to be jealous of#the way someone does or doesn't fit gender roles#bc they're so baked into every facet of style and personality and stuff#that admiring something about someone inevitably ties in to how they do or don't fit gender roles#because every trait that every person could have has already been coded masculine or feminine by society#of course my answer is to deconstruct and destroy that rather than have fun with it bc there's nothing fun about misogyny lol#anyway all that's to say i never agreed with what people meant when they were reblogging the pretty boys being like 'i want his gender'#aka i want to be like him and fit gender roles the way he does or doesn't#but i'm seeing some jensen ackles shit that is rewiring my brain fully#i need to look like that immediately#also i had a soul-crushing convo about misogyny with my friend yesterday (love her we have so much in common)#and my subconscious is now like. ha just a reminder being a woman is so hard all#the time wouldn't it be nice if not only you were a man but you were a 'man's man'#and just live one day out from under the patriarchy!!! wouldn't that be so great well too bad. sucks for you.#patriarchy all day all the time and it's heart wrenching and soul crushing and unbearable and sometimes the worst part of being alive#ha! ha!
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