#partly 18+
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Welp. Just had the most horrifying realization.
What determines whether people want to punch Nazis or not isn’t the fact that they're Nazis.
People only want to punch Nazis when they disagree with them.
#wall of words#Free gaza from hamas#antisemitism#It's absolutely possible to criticize Israel without being antisemitic and I would love to see non-Jews try that instead of just yelling it#Spoiler alert: Hamas is part of an org founded and partly funded by Nazis#Its founding documents explicitly use Nazi propaganda#Its public statements have consistently been wildly antisemitic#And at least one of its fighters called home during the massacre to boast that he'd killed 10 Jews with his own hands#This is not even a tiny bit unclear#The only way you can think Hamas is the Palestinian Resistance is if you see and believe its own propaganda saying so#And are not listening either to Jews or to Palestinians in Gaza#Who have been brutally oppressed by Hamas for 18 years#Stop yapping about Zionism you are actively harming Palestinians with your obsessive Jew hatred#They're in Gaza protesting Hamas and demanding it surrender and release the hostages so they can finally have peace#And you're over here like “GIVE ISRAEL TO HAMAS”#Get a grip goyim you are high on the kool-aid
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god its 1am i cannot be doing this
#bsd yt tiktok whatever they don't GET IT#its not sad because his friend died and then hopeful because he told him to do good its fuckin#imagine your life lowkey going to shit and you lose one friend and then your other friend of 3 years knowingly marches to his death and you#cant convince him otherwise but you go to him anyway and he's dying youre watching him die#the anime doesn't do much well but dazais hand shaking covered in blood is a Visual you dont get it#dazai trying to be like we will save you just fucking gets me#think abt the aftermath#“Dropping onto his knees by Odasaku’s side‚ Dazai looked
up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. His tightly shut lips
faintly trembled.”#think abt that#and the way the stageplay turns that into full on crying#he is literally 18 his lifes like partly collapsed he just held his friend until he died#and when he leaves this room hes going to uproot himself entirely#this isnt coherent in any way but it hurts me#it hurts me so much#odas death doesnt hurt because its odas DEATH it hurts because its ODAS DEATH#also im thinking abt how in the anime dazais coat fell off when he ran to oda#he burned that#he had to pick it up and leave#do you ever think about that#he had to pick it up and walk away
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me, every single day on this earth: embodiment, not dissociation. embodiment, not dissociation. embodiment, not dissociation. embodiment, not—
#I’m sure trying#trauma recovery#it’s way better than it was a couple years ago#and it’s somewhat better than last year#so I guess it’s paying off!#I am not in a state of physical panic 24/7 anymore it’s only like 12-18/7 nowadays it’s a huge difference#and I’m still partly dissociating nearly always but it’s at a much lower level and barely impacts anything anymore except my personal exp
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omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.
#literally thank goodness my brother was here to like Perfectly describe in real time what happens to adhd people when they go to college for#the first time. there's less structure and you fall apart. i used that as an opportunity.#i've slowly slowly slowly been chipping away at my Entire family btw. i've finally convinced my dad that medication is a GOOD THING.#i said You know. there's a lot in life that you feel like you Have to live with. but being on meds has made life so much easier and happier.#and that's when my dad finally said it.#:^) sometimes i like..... think about my family and how complicated i feel because growing up was super tough with all of them but now they#are all better people..... and i can't help but feel proud because as much as it is ABSOLUTELY great job for THEM for getting there But i#also feel uhhh partly responsible because i was constantly calling them out for shit. not always in the best way#but always standing up for others and challenging them on their worldviews and just casually talking about more liberal (as in free. not#politically) things. yes i do feel like if it wasn't for me my family would be worse people#i KNOW one of my brothers would be because he literally told me so. and it makes me happy. it is proof that my life is worthy and i have a#good impact on the world. it doesn't have to be a big thing i do to change things..... because i believe in the Ripple Effect#my dad is a teacher and he uses the proper pronouns for his trans students without complaint now. that has a good impact on SO many people#the trans students and their classmates who hear their teacher respect them. my brother is no longer homophobic he's bi lol and#if i hadn't argued with him about what bisexuality meant bc he was Wrong when i was 18 and he was 16... i wonder....#my younger sister is one of the nicest kids i've ever met and i partly raised her. it feels great to see her be such a good kid#her best friend is a trans girl and when she first came out my sister was one of two people in their class who still wanted to be#her friend.#idk. just inspires me to keep being the best person i can be & always do what's right even if it makes people mad#bc no one can hurt me as much as my family has traumatized me (lol) and look what happened to them!! i didn't give up! and i see real change
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are gyms fucking allergic to setting the ac below 20 degrees or something
#literally on the verge of tears rn from my WARM UP. i haven't even worked out literally just 30 mins walking on the treadmill#and it's so fucking hot i am actually about to cry#i get that it's expensive to run and also this is probably partly my sensory issues#but it's a fucking gym. come on. people are working out i'm fucking sweating turn the fucking ac up#would it fucking kill to set it to 18. seriously#like i'm genuinely pissed about this bc i actually can't work out to the extent i want bc i will just pass out from overheating#idk am i fucking insane? is 20 not too fucking hot for a GYM? am i being entitled? hello?#bearing in mind the membership here is like. several hundred at best#like wtf am i paying for if ur gonna be tight with the ac i'm sweating my balls off come on#literally dripping in sweat after walking at 3mph for my warm up 😭 be fucking serious i haven't even run or lifted a single weight#don't even wanna do fucking cardio rn bc it's too HOT. like be fucking serious#sorryyyyyy i'm actually crying rn over this bc i'm a pussy. slay
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Tell us if you have any cool dreams during your nap!!
I had one that was going into nightmare zone but it cut off when I got flashbanged by a door opening in the dream and I immediately woke up and thought that someone was at the door (there was no one) (it was the sun)
I don’t usually dream but when I do I always confuse the events for reality upon waking and it takes a couple days to convince myself they were dreams lol 🧍♂️
#I rolled over and went back to sleep btw#’huh that’s weird. anyways’ snore mimimi#you go 18 years without dreaming and then suddenly it’s at least once a month#I think that’s why they confuse me so bad#bc I never dreamed for 90% of my life and now I’m getting dreams that a juuuust convincing enough#partly because my experience of the world has an uncanny quality to it#so the fuckery irl and the fuckery in the dream feel similar#yknow?
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I want to write something fun and silly that doesn't really matter and that I don't care about carefully crafting with logical plot or well-thought out character arcs or perfectly worded sentences.
I want to write like nobody's watching
#it seems so fun but also I question whether I am capable of it#I only ever wrote like that in the early stages of scif (now MDE) when I was like#14-18#and then suddenly it became SERIOUS#and meaningful#and has been the only thing I've put my heart into writing for years#it seems so fun to write completely carefree with no self-editor or consequences#but idk why the thought of even *trying* scares me#ah idk#I'm not sure I'm making sense#this was partly brought on by you Jax if you ever read this#just reading your TNS excerpts during nano you just seemed like you were having so much fun with it#that it just made me...wanna do that to#inkoverted thoughts
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new following policy: no age in bio or blank blog will get you softblocked. effective immediately for new follows, current followers have until i get around to going through my followers tomorrow (aug 24) to comply. thanks!
#this is partly bc i want to thin out my followers a bit#and partly bc i really should have done this as soon as i went strictly 18+
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Jonathan is hot. That's all.
That was on purpose.
Thank secxen for that 😏
#zksfjksd#partly selfish on my part in case I finally make that 18+ game I kept talking about#*when I#and Jonathan is a LI#...what's a romance game without hot LIs right??? exactly#asks#crushed vn
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... I may just have bought a plane ticket to Australia...
#Unreal#it's pretty much a plan that has been in the making for 18+ years#but it's been on the back-burner for quite a while because I didn't think it was feasible#partly because of the whole time vs money issue#but thanks to my job trying to screw me over and having to undo that.. I suddenly found myself with a bargaining chip#to get extra time off work..ha!
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flickr
Any Excuse to Visit Waterton Lakes National Park by Mark Stevens
Via Flickr:
While in Waterton, Alberta, with a view looking to the north-northeast across the waters of Upper Waterton Lake with a backdrop of the Prince of Wales Hotel. This is in Waterton Lakes National Park. The blue skies and clouds would be that color contrast to complement the earth-tones in the lower portion of the image as well as highlight the lodge/hotel.
#:Partly Sunny#Alberta and Glacier National Park#Ant People#Azimuth 18#Blue Skies with Clouds#Canadian Rockies#Central Montana Rocky Mountains#Clark Range#Day 6#DxO PhotoLab 6 Edited#Glacier National Park Ranges#Hotel#Lake#Landscape#Landscape - Scenery#Lodge#Looking NNE#Mount Crandell#Mountain Peak#Mountains#Mountains in Distance#Mountains off in Distance#Mountainside#Nature#Nikon D850#Outside#Partly Cloudy#People#Portfolio#Prince of Wales Hotel
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T-minus 9 days until I’m officially raw-dogging life
Almost 12 years on brain meds & we’re breaking free baby
#this is not cold turkey I have been weaning off for over 18 months#June 2022 I was off SSRIs officially#and now I’m almost off mood stabilizer#just me and my birth control against the world at that point#feels weird but good?#anyways I haven’t been active here and this is partly to blame#Megs posts
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Earlier when we were talking about jobs Elliott said their job's pay was good for when you're not an older adult with major financial responsibilities (aka he said for teenagers but 18 is adult so—) but I'm just focused on like how funny would it be if all 3 of us worked at the home depot warehouse
#Literally chances are when we're 18 that could be our job#/hj but also imagine#They got that job partly because adult works there and is good at it so like#Yeah they will hire another member of the family#They said it didn't require a lot of talking tho so that's one like good thing ig#But again#I am mainly focused on the concept of all 3 of us working at the same place it just sounds funny to me#[''roll the dice!'' | 🎲.txt]
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Agent 4, Agent 3, and Agent 8/Marmon Hachibana concept doodles.
Is it a little sad that I never actually named my Four and Three but did name my Eight despite her being the most recent addition since I’ve been playing these since 2015? Yeah kinda. I’ll find suitable names for those two eventually to distinguish them from the game canon versions as well as others’ OCs. These doodles are a bit older, I’m slowly teaching myself how to draw Splatoon characters but it’s not easy since it’s way out of my normal art style.
All three of them are wearing the gear I most commonly played them with. I’m mainly an E. Liter main and always kinda have been, but for the characters themselves Four mains Kensa Dualies, Three mains the Golden Dynamo, and Hachibana mains the standard E. Liter 4k build. I miss the E. Liter 3k….
#splatoon oc#splatoon#Splatoon 2#agent 8#agent 3#agent 4#I do like my four a lot tho she’s such a brat lol#she absolutely detests Marie and they become more amicable later on but#there’s still some underlying snark there#she is however a total Callie simp when she first meets her (having never been interested in the squid sisters before)#Three is kinda just a local cryptid which isn’t that far from canon really#Four is the oldest of the group partly bc of the line of dialogue that says four is like three but a couple years older#which was just in reference to the game coming out a few years after the first but I’ll take it#I have her set around 20 or so while three is like 18#which does mean she was 16 during the events of the first game which is tragic#marmon hachibana
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I fucking hate the smell of frying bacon.
My roommate came in the kitchen and started frying bacon while i was cooking and now my clothes and hair smell like fucking bacon i am Not Happy
#not only do i genuinely dislike smelling like pork product when i JUST washed this sweatshirt#but i also have mild trigger associations with a horrible food job where i had to fry like 8 boxes of bacon every morning#i will be taking a shower before eating my dinner it seems#good god bacon tastes fine but smells fucking awful#and also this one roommate consistently cooks the Worst smelling food imaginable#shes also the only one who never says hi just gives you the classic nordic ignoring like youre not there at all#but that might be partly bc i had to camp outside her door to get one of her friends to tell her to turn down the music#when she decided to throw a techno party between 4 and 6am on sunday night/monday morning#in the room next to mine and the music was so loud she couldnt hear me knocking on her door#i thought she was like 18 or 19 so i chalked it up to being a kid on her own for the first time#but it turns out shes 23!! my friend you are Way too old to be acting this selfish in shared living quarters#anyway this devolved into a rant about my shitty roommate but everything in the whole hall and even my room smells like bacon so im pissed
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After the hospital bombing, I finally heard back from my grandmother and confirmed that several of my relatives were murdered by Israeli bombing. Seven of them, to be precise. Three are still going, including her. We've been talking constantly ever since.
Asked if it was possible to head south, and was told they did but were also bombed there. So they decided to go back home, in Zeitoun. Their home was bombed and they were pulled out of the rumble, then driven by ambulances to the al-Ahli Arab Hospital. There were people in every corner. Gazans sheltering, sleeping on the floor. Gazans dying on the floor, waiting for beds.
Four were declared dead on arrival, three were in need of surgery and other three were just bandaged. Then, a bomb was dropped in the parking lot that made parts of the ceiling collapse, like Dr. Ghassan Abu Sittah reported in that horrific conference/interview. Those in need of surgery died.
By the way, just in case you didn't know: the Church of Saint Porphyrius, the third oldest in history, bombed by Israel a few days back, was located near the hospital.
When looking for new shelter, they saw schools with signs hanging outside, "We can't take any more families." They met families, sympathetic but already sheltering too many people. They're now staying in an apartment building they found empty. Sleeping in the corner of the living room. If the family comes back, they'll apologize and leave.
Told me she was saving her phone battery for when the bombing stopped, and she had to ask for help to rebuilt the neighborhood. But she doesn't think it's gonna stop anymore. The ones still with her are mute most of the time, like they're saving energy, but she feels lonely and wanted to talk. There's no internet and to connect to WhatsApp, people are buying "a card from the supermarket, there's a password and username." Not sure what she meant. Still, the internet is inconsistent and won't load neither videos or images nor pages, so she doesn't know what's happening on the outside world.
Told her there were a lot of people protesting to stop the genocide, she replied, "The bombings are getting worse by the day." The bombing yesterday was the worst she ever witnessed. The entire neighborhood is infested with the smell of death, of decomposing bodies. Bodies are piling up in the streets and she's not sure if it's because they ran out of places to store them, but most of them are in bags. The smoke of the bombings hide the blue sky—she hasn't seen the clouds for a while.
Asked if I could share their pictures, names and dreams with people and was told, of which I partly agree, "they're not entertainment." If anyone genuinely cared, they would be alive—I'd argue there are people who do care, but I'm not gonna lecture her pain. And they don't deserve to be used to fulfill someone's sick fantasy. Told me to remember what some Israelis do with pictures of dead Palestinians. And I do.
For those of you who are not familiar, many times before settlers got together to celebrate the murder of Palestinians. For one, in 2015, Israeli settlers set a house in Duma, West Bank on fire. An 18-month old baby, Ali Dawbsheh, was burnt alive. Both parents later died of wounds and only a 5-year-old, Ahmad, survived, although severely injured.
Two celebrations of their murder are widely known, one at a wedding and others outside the court in which two were indicted for the terrorist attack. In the wedding, guests stabbed a photo of the toddler, Ali, while others waved guns, knives and Molotov cocktails. Israel's Minister of National Security, Itamar Ben-Gvir, was present.
That's what happens in an apartheid. Palestinians are so abused by authorities that their "innocent civilians" come to accept the brutality as necessary or are desensitized by our suffering. After all, it's been 75 years—get used to it!
So I won't risk the image of my loved ones, in fear they are used in these kinds of depravity. I will say, though, the world lost a young footballer. Lost a female writer and an aspiring ballerina. Lost a kind father, who was also a great cook, and a loving mother that enjoyed sewing and other types of handicraft art. Lost a math teacher and a child that wanted to become one.
People think Israel is testing new weapons on them. There's civilians arriving at the hospital with severe burns, which they thought was from white phosphorus, but apparently the pattern is different from the one caused by white phosphorus. It's widely believed Israel tests weapons in Palestinians.
Jeff Halper, author of War Against the People, a book on Israel's arms and surveillance technology industries, said: "Israel has kept the occupation because it's a laboratory for weapons."
They've ran out of drinkable water and the "aid" Biden sent was only for the South of Gaza and no fuel, for hospitals, was allowed in. Many shelves in the supermarket are empty. She said many are convinced that if they don't die from the bombing, they'll die from starvation or dehydration, or whatever disease will develop from the dirty water they're drinking.
Told me all people do now is pray, cry and die. Told me she hopes West Bank is spared. Told her Israel bombed a mosque in West Bank and dozens of Palestinians in West Bank are being murdered by settlers, so she bided me goodbye.
#palestine#free palestine#gaza#free gaza#may allah protect them#may almighty allah see our pain#hopefully she'll message me tomorrow
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