i'm trying so hard not to hate myself. i make endless mistakes and try not to yell at myself about it. instead, i listen to my favorite playlist. i make myself a warm pot of soup. when i hesitate between bites, i remind myself that my body is good simply because it is my body. and that i am good simply because i am me. i do not have to make myself smaller. i do not have to give and give and give, even after there is nothing left. i make a mistake and i try to forgive myself. ignore the swelling of guilt in the pit of my stomach. perhaps shame will always be a voice in the back of my head. but it does not have to be the only voice. there can be one that's kind to me. even when i think i do not deserve it. especially when i think i do not deserve it.

the fact that adam is the one who tells us "[Ronan's] code of honor left no room for infidelity, for casual relationships. it wasn't that he didn't condone them; he couldn't understand them." will forever get me like adam is always reiterating ronan's capacity for love and intense devotion without even knowing that he PRAYED FOR HIM ON FIRST SIGHT.... & then he takes the time to completely process that before allowing himself to be with ronan (this didn't feel like a game and ASKING GANSEY ABT LOVE AFTER THEIR FIRST KISS) knowing how badly he wanted to accept it but wanting to be sure that he could return it. he approaches it differently but every bit as seriously as ronan does. bc it means so much to both of them, it isn't a game, they both know what this will be if they let it. who has he ever had to love him ever adam parrish is loved by someone that he himself has described multiple times as being intensely and singularly dedicated to what he loves, and expressing that love without restraint on a level adam marvels at. it is literally like nothing adam has ever known and every ounce of it is directed right at him.

Adam always with the intellectual flirting that’s also pretty mean

ronan lynch = the lorax

i just want the entirety of the raven cycle series tattooed across my body

hello for the love of god hi. i was talking to my dear friend and correct-opinion-haver @parrishwife and now i’m filled with rage all over again about the fact that adam ended the dreamer trilogy without any resolution other than “harvard bad” AND without his group of queer friends because apparently *checks notes* they weren’t Special Enough and instead he should be content with *checks notes inside my sleeve* having no relationships outside his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s family and also *checks notes scrawled on my hand* working as a cop for the government… hello is this thing on HELLOOO

Blue Lily, Lily Blue ch 15 // Mister Impossible ch 25

emily brontë, wuthering heights, 1847 // madeline miller, the song of achilles, 2011 // maggie stiefvater, greywaren, 2022

adam being called gansey’s magician and ronan being called gansey’s dreamer is something that can be so personal

thought about adam parrish yesterday. thinking about adam parrish today. will probably think about adam parrish tomorrow.

if you read trc and came away hating adam parrish i have no choice but to assume you’re extremely unsympathetic to poor people in general and i do Not trust you

breadcrumb trail - parrish h.

assigning taylor swift songs for the raven cycle characters because i have free will.

adam - the archer, my tears ricochet, you're on your own kid,

ronan - this is me trying, epiphany, evermore, the great war, white horse

gansy - labyrinth, mirrorball

blue - gold rush, nothing new, mad woman, the last great american dynasty

henry - all of 1989. i will not elaborate.

noah - the lakes, right where you left me, bigger than the whole sky, majorie, safe & sound, my tears ricochet, breathe

ships & the group:

pynch: peace, invisible string, i think he knows, sparks fly, sweet nothing, i can see you, hey stephen, cornelia street, daylight, delicate, sweet nothing

bluesy: new years day, love story, treacherous, it's nice to have a friend, mine, cowboy like me, illicit affairs, hits different, the very first night, sweet nothing, untouchable, king of my heart, afterglow, i can see you, dress, cardigan, fearless, lover

the gangsy: long live, seven, invisible string, change, dorothea, no body no crime

unstoppable force (Adam’s canonical teacher kink) meets immovable object (Gansey being a professor’s soul in a teenagers body).

Honestly, the biggest redemption storyline from the Teen Wolf movie being Ryan Kelly going from a flat ass to a fat ass wasn’t on my bingo card but it’s iconic all the same.

the raven cycle series and marauders fics have a weirdly similar throughline

the bad boy falls in love with the traumatized magician

the bespectacled leader has a prophesied doomed romance with a girl who's very aware of the class divide

the fourth guy is barely there until he very much is (or, depending on interpretation, very much isn't)