Painscrolling

When you're in too much pain to sleep and can't do anything else except lie there, so you scroll aimlessly, hoping it all goes away

My Body: Hey 🙂

Me: Please don't

My Body: You know what it's time for? 🙂

Me: Could you just NOT for ONCE—

My Body: 😃 it's time for

✨ Pain ✨

Just a gentle reminder that it is okay to feel jealous of your able bodied friends sometimes. It does not make you a bad person, you wouldn’t wish anyone to live with your pain, but sometimes you just wish that you got a break.

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

I think given that it’s disability pride month I’m gonna try to be more open about the shit my body is going through atm.

Like even if y’all think it’s just me complaining, Idc because this is what it’s legitimately like for me 24/7.

Take today for instance - Im working because I have to pay rent, but while I’m working the only thought in my head is “don’t throw up, don’t pass out”. I’ve maxed out on pain meds, and my HR hasn’t dropped below 100 since I started.

But I just gotta go with it because otherwise imma be homeless and living out of my car and that’s going to make my pain worse.

So it turns out actually resting and not pushing yourself when a flare-up happens actually helps minimise it or potentially stop it from pushing over the edge

get a pain flare.

have it be manageable at like 3am

has had zero time to relax.

who needs sleep?

Canon 60D + @vsco

Did a thing yesterday, today I'm suffering.

Noone wants this. Absolutely nobody.

I feel alone in my body, only other chronic pain people know what it's like (ime)

Nobody can do anything to help it. I just have to sit with it, somehow.

These pains are eating me away. Joint pain, muscle pain, skin pain, just existing pain.

I can't speak today, only lay down & breathe slowly. I don't have the energy to push the words out, they come out in whispers.

The fatigue just takes me, I'm falling asleep allover the place. I cannot control it.

Nobody fucking wants this.

Why does this always happen when I'm just trying to live my life?????

Will I ever be unchained from my bed?

It's a hard knock life

lads it finally happened, someone prescribed deep breathing and yoga to manage my chronic gynaecological pain at work :) :) :) :)

Today I realised that apparently most people don't force themselves to do things they actively hate doing/are painful?

Like, I was at work and I expressed that I hated eating a certain food because the consistency feels bad and my colleague asked me why I was eating it then. Well? It was there, I didn't want it to go to waste.

A similar thing happened when we were standing around and I expressed that my feet hurt from the long standing. He (different colleague) then went around looking for a spot to sit in that would still let us do our job.

The idea hadn't even occured to me, I had just accepted that I would be in pain and that I would have to deal with it.

I am so used to being in pain and doing the things that need to be done while being in pain that the idea of not doing the thing until the situation could be improved hadn't even occured to me.

OW OW OW

Fucking OW

How the FUCK and I supposed to work five days a week like this?!?!

MAKE IT STOP