#p.s. I hope you read the tags or I look like such an asshole | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eleganzadellarosa · 6 months

Text

Business Before Pleasure

Part 1

💕 pairing: Cha Eun Woo x fem!reader, Cha Eun Woo x OC

✨ genres: Dark Romance, CEO!au, eventual smut

💕 summary: After losing your job, you pursue your dream of working as a secretary. What you thought would be a piece of cake, turns into more because your boss is a POS

✨ author’s note: This fic is based off of an IG pause game lol. This will be a multi part fic so I will upload them as I write. If you would like to be tagged when I upload, please leave a comment! This first part is short but I hope the following parts will be over 2K words. Thank you for reading and enjoy your day <3 P.S the pictures I'll be using for this are not what the character looks like, just as reference to their style or personality.

💕 word count: 2.26K

To say you hated your job was an understatement. You had been working as an at home event planner, only visiting the office for important meetings or to meet with certain clients. It's been 3 years since you started working for the company and to think you bared through the stress for this long should be counted as an achievement. Truthfully you stayed for the pay. Yes it wasn't amazing but it paid your bills and anything else necessary so it slightly outweighed the cons. Tonight however, you regretted your tenacity with how the woman on the other end was yelling at you. She complained and complained about how her entire event was ruined because of a simple mistake that wasn't even on the company’s part but she felt the need to be compensated.

"Yes ma'am, I understand the problem you're having and I'm doing my best to help you. However, I am only able to do that if you stop yelling."

That only seemed to fuel her anger more and she blurted some obscenities before hanging up on you. You rolled your eyes and looked over at the time. It was already 9:45 pm aka 45 minutes past your time to get off. You sucked your teeth and quickly clocked out before shutting down your computer and standing to stretch your legs. Punctuality was one of your biggest traits, especially when it came to your meals but with you staying over time, you had no energy to stand and make yourself dinner. Takeout was your best bet now and as you scrolled through the many options available, an email notification pops up on your screen. You cringed when you saw it was from your boss and already knew why he bothered emailing you so late.

He was an asshole to say the least. He always treated his employees like crap and would penalize them whenever they worked overtime. He especially seemed to hate you for some reason and you were never really sure why. You open the email and read its contents, predicting what you would see, only to be utterly shocked.

Dear Ms. Meng,

I am regretfully emailing you to inform you that due to complaints and interactions with your client tonight, we will unfortunately have to terminate your contract with us. At this time we are unable to reconsider this decision. We hope that you will succeed in your future endeavors.

Best Regards,

A.P Wilson

This could NOT be happening, especially after you took the time out to try and help her as best as you could with an issue that wasn't even your fault. You never received client complaints, so she would be the first and apparently last. You immediately scrolled through your contacts and selected your boss' number and gave him a call.

"Ah Ms. Meng I expected you to call. Unfortunately as I said in my email, the decision is not up for discussion."

"Mr. Wilson" you put on your best fake smile even though he couldn't see it on the other end of the call. "Would you care to inform me how one complaint from a client lead to my termination? Don't you think that's a bit much?"

"A bit much? You were 45 minutes over time with a client you weren't even being considerate to. She said you yelled at her and didn't help her at all. What am I, as a good boss, supposed to take from that?"

"I don't know, maybe ask your employee first before you just let them go? But I forgot, you have your head so far up your ass that you are so busy worrying about paying your employees extra for overtime that you didn't notice that she tried to get a full refund and then some for an issue that wasn't even our faults! Fuck you and fuck this company!"

You didn't even bother to hear what else he had to say and hung up. This job was never really worth it and maybe now you could get an office job that you actually preferred with a boss that you actually liked, no matter how hard those are to come by. You sat on your bed with your brows furrowed and tossed your phone to the other end. You were pissed and now you didn't even want dinner.

Flopping onto your stomach at the other end of your bed, you picked up your phone and immediately typed in a job searching website. Office jobs were common and shouldn't be that hard to find, yet after scrolling through almost 20 pages and finding nothing, you ended your search early. It was only the first day and unemployment should process quickly so you had a few months before you were flat broke. Surrendering to the growling in your stomach, you settle on some tacos for the night.

There was no point in sitting at home sulking when you could be enjoying your unintentional vacation. You never had much time for your friends before, so now was best to call them up to hang out. It was a unanimous decision on meeting at a cafe to chat and have some decent coffee.

"Hey girly!" your best friend Priya called out to you, wrapping an arm around you as she approached. "This is great, finally some time to yourself and time for me!"

Priya has been your best friend since high school. She was your ride or die, there for you whenever you needed her. She was on the much more outgoing side personality wise, but you liked that about her, it helped you get out of your comfort zone. To say this friendship was a blessing would be a severe understatement. You were grateful for her and so was she for you.

"How are you handling everything?"

"I'm doing great actually. I'm going to take this as a sign to go for what I really want." You push the door open for her and allow her to walk in.

"Optimistic as always. We love a consistent girl like you Faye."

A few minutes later, two more friends, Liz and Ada, popped into the cafe and happily rushed over to where you and Priya sat. You slid over to make space on your end of the booth for Ada to fit.

"Someone must have sold their soul to get this girl out." Ada says, bumping her shoulder against yours.

"Haha no, I actually got fired."

The whole table spent about 10 minutes cursing out your boss and praising how much of a good worker you were. As much as you hated how everything was handled, you were telling the truth when you said you were fine.

"Actually, one of my friends from college works at this business and they're looking for a new secretary. If you want, I can hook you up with all the info." Liz interrupts the "boss bashing" and you focus solely on what she has to say. "And I heard the boss is super hot."

You laughed and shook your head. She was always trying to be the matchmaker of the group and almost always ended up failing. You appreciated her efforts though, you haven't had a boyfriend or any love interests since highschool. Boys weren't really on your mind since you broke up with your last one, he was just like every other douchebag guy you knew of.

"Actually Liz, I'm going to have to take you up on that offer. Can you ask your friend if she minds that I have her number? I want to ask her about a few things before I apply."

She quickly nodded and immediately got to typing on her phone.

This was it. Your dream job coming true before your eyes and you didn't know how to handle the happiness. It checked off all the marks you wanted and then some. Sure there were a few things you didn't like about the job but nevertheless, it was what you wanted and you didn't let the chance pass you by.

Today your interview was scheduled for "noon sharp" as the secretary informed you just a few days before. You were all about great first impressions, so you made sure to be here 15 minutes early.

The building was huge and slightly overwhelming. You walked through the revolving doors that lead to the large space. It made you feel important and like the characters you would see on dramas that scanned their key cards to get past the turnstile gates.

There was a middle aged fair skinned woman sitting at a large desk on which the words "information" was read, with a phone between her face and shoulder.

"Hello, can I help you?" She looks at you with a bubbly smile, teeth pearly white.

"Yes, I have an interview with EWX"

"Oh yes, they're expecting you. Take this elevator on the left and go to the 4th floor."

You silently thanked her and waved goodbye as she took another call. The more the elevator ascended, the more your anxiety rose. It's been years since you were last on an interview and you suddenly felt like you left all your experience and skills with your old job. The elevator dinged when it reached the 4th floor and the two doors opened. There was another woman at the front desk on this floor and she smiled when she saw you.

"You must be Faye, here for the interview?"

"I am! Do I need to sign in?"

"Not at all, go ahead and take a seat and they'll be out here shortly."

You sat in the small waiting area for about 5 minutes before you heard someone call your name. When you turned around and looked, there was a girl, seemingly around your age looking over the front desk to see where you sat. Admittedly you were short, but she looked past you as if expecting to see someone a bit older.

"Oh, you're Faye?"

"Yes, I am." You chuckled and put your hand out to shake hers.

She sneered and hesitated to shake your hand. "Wonderful.” She says, sarcasm heavily laced in her voice “Right this way."

You didn't want to think negatively about her behavior but there was only one way to assess it. That's not what you were here for though and you wouldn't let it affect your professionalism. When you entered the interview room, there were two other people there; a man and another woman.

The interview went well. They asked you about yourself, your work history and how you found out about this position. They appeared to be pleased with your answers and said they would be contacting you within the next few days.

The first girl you met eventually introduced herself as Ashley and walked you back out to the waiting room.

"Don't get your hopes up, the boss doesn't really like people like you and most people don't last long."

You looked at her as you pressed the button for the elevator. "Do you mind elaborating on 'people like me'?" She was leaving a bad taste in your mouth but you gave her one last chance to turn it around.

"You know, extremely bubbly, overzealous. Just stop trying so hard and maybe you'll have a chance."

You wanted to roll your eyes. She obviously either has a crush on this man or secretly fucks him and thinks she's better than everyone else, but you bet money it was the former. "Well Ashley, I guess we'll just have to see if the boss wants 'someone like me' to be a breath of fresh air after dealing with someone like you." The elevator opened as you finished your sentence and you stepped in. "Have a great day!"

It's been 3 days since you last spoke with them and the weekend was quickly approaching. It was only your first interview so you knew not to put all your eggs in one basket, but you really wanted for it to work out.

You stood at the stove, phone propped up against your toaster as you made yourself a quick lunch. "I'm so excited to hear back from them whether they want me or not."

"I'm glad you're looking on the bright side and not letting it get you down." Ada praises your optimism and confidence.

"Same and for not letting that jealous bitch get to your head." Priya added.

"I'm sorry if they say no, I'm going to feel like it's my fault for even mentioning it." You looked over and saw a pout on Liz's face.

"Aww Lizzie, don't feel that way. I'm actually so much more eager about finding this type of work so this interview was a big step."

Just then, a number you don't have saved rings your line and you quickly put your friends on hold to answer it.

"Yes, is this Ms. Meng?"

"Yes, speaking!"

"Oh great, this is Sabrina with EWX, I was just letting you know that we would like to offer you the position. Are you still interested?"

"That would be wonderful!"

"Great! We would love for you to come in this Monday to get a fresh start and learn the ropes. Is that too sudden?"

"Not at all! Thank you again for this opportunity and I will see you all Monday!"

"Wonderful, it was a pleasure speaking with you Ms. Meng and we'll see you Monday!"

You quickly switched back over to the group call with your friends and they immediately knew of the great news with the huge smile you wore. They all screamed, clapped and congratulated you.

You never expected to get over this big hump so quickly but you were no less than grateful. This was big for you and you couldn't wait to see what your new job had in store.

#cha eunwoo #astro kpop #astro eunwoo #eunwoo #astro

28 notes · View notes

tethered-heartstrings · 2 years

Note

hi i was just wondering what your pronouns are ? feel free not to answer if it makes u uncomfy ofc !

I prefer not being perceived.

#they/them to actually answer your question though #sorry for the shitpost answer. I thought I was being funny #I'm not. but that doesn't stop me from trying #p.s. I hope you read the tags or I look like such an asshole #I mean I am. but that's not the point #I do find it funny how the internet cares more about this shit than people in my actual life #i'm not having personal issues with this at all in fact. I am very normal and very fine and very stable #the curious clown #anonymous #idk why I feel weird about pronouns on the internet. maybe because real life is entirely shit about it and I project that onto the internet #too drunk for this ask tbh #I have never felt my actual life crash and collide with my internet life so hard #not even when I made a fucking meme about me telling someone they could fit into a fucking horse #gender is a fucking pain in my entire ass. sorry you had the Tag Essay Rant of the century #ignore me. its fine #also who are you #the idea any anonymous person wants to know about me is wild #do you talk about me. hello.#part of me wondered if/when the question would arise #and I answered it like the clown I am #no one is even reading this far into the tags #and yet I cannot stop talking #you definitely are not reading this far down but #thank you for asking!#p.s. that 'i am just about worn out with bitches' post was 100% related to gender :')#it got repurposed for other needs because people piss me off #but that day was hard #oversharing in the tags because no one reads them when they are this long <333

10 notes · View notes

sunnysunoo · 3 years

Text

Love Letters ; Sim Jake

Pairing: Jake X Reader

warnings: explicit language and cursing

word count: 3k words

genre: friends to lovers au! fluff with tiny pieces of crack lmao

Jake was always known for being this perfect guy in school. I mean, they're not wrong. They always described him as if he's this walking piece of art in the hallways. People would stop to just stare at him. You'd stare at him all day too, but you set priorities first: writing him love letters.

You're no Lara Jean, but I guess you can say that she's what inspired you to write Jake letters. Who needs Peter Kavinsky when Jake Shim exists anyways?

note: Not me completely disappearing off of tumblr for like months and then showing up again suddenly lol. I got really busy the past few months since I was completing requirements for school, and I really didn't have the motivation to do anything at the time so I took so time off to take care of myself first so I hope you understand :) But now since it's summer break, I am given at least 2 more months until I go back to school in August :)) Here's the long-awaited Jake imagine that I completely forgot about lmao hope you enjoy <3

P.S I finished writing this at 1:26 am so please excuse the really shitty plot and grammar ill rewrite it once i wake up

tag list: @cha-raena ( sorry for the rlly late post bestie )

Dear Jake, First of all, I will never call you Jaeyun because calling you by your English name makes me feel like I'm your friend. Calling you by your Korean name makes us feel like we're cold strangers to one another and I don't want that. I want us to be something more than that, but it's hard when you don't even know who I am. I'm surprised how you don't grow tired of me just dropping letters right into your locker every time you open it, and that's one of the things I love about you. You don't just throw away people's efforts and you treasure them with care. It makes my heart beat so fast as if I ran miles away from here.

We're already one year left until we graduate high school, and I don't want to end my high school years without you realizing my feelings for you. I know for sure that you would never reciprocate the feelings that I have towards you, so I want to treat this as closure in case we do forget about each other in the future. Yours truly,

Moon

"How is this person not over you? That's like the tenth one this month," Jay said, looking over Jake as he reads the letter from his secret admirer. Jake has always been receiving these letters from the same person everyday for the past four months. He's thankful for the letters because they definitely make his day better, knowing that there's someone out there who loves him as who he is regardless of looks. He's not gonna lie that these little notes and letters make his heart race too. "Do you have any plans with finding the person behind the letters?" Jay asked as he watches his best friend trying to hide the small smile that's been growing. No one really knows who this mysterious person is and why they decided to name themselves the moon, but we don't judge anyone in here. If they want to be the moon in their next life, then so be it. "I really want to find the person who's making these letters," Jake shoved the letter in his backpack, trying to not wrinkle it. "But I don't know where to start." "Who's finding who?" A voice popped suddenly beside the presence of the two boys. You leaned beside the locker beside Jake's, watching him as he grabs his books from his locker. "Did Moon drop your daily letter today again?" "They did as usual," Jake wasn't even surprised. He would expect the letters every time he enters the school in the morning. He would open his locker to see the usual small letter placed inside his locker. He usually arrives at seven or earlier, but he's surprised that he could never even catch a glance of this anonymous sender around the campus. "Should I go to school at five in the morning?" "Five in the morning? Isn't that a bit too early?" You questioned, followed by a shaky breath. "The school doesn't even open until six." "I could just walk to that nearby convenience store I always pass by to grab a coffee." He argues, closing his locker shut before walking towards his classroom.

You and Jay followed beside him, and you sneered under your breath, "You don't even wake up to your alarm clock."

"Why don't you even want me to go early anyway?" He glances as you try to give him an answer. But before you could say something, Jay replies first.

"You’re probably hiding something." He said. You rolled your eyes and narrowed your eyes at him. "You are so weird." You grunted, before walking ahead of them. You feel panicked because you were scared that you made yourself obvious to them.

You were inside your classroom sitting on your desk. There were only fifteen minutes left before lunch, but you had eaten your packed meal before instead of going to your school cafeteria. You were fidgeting in your place, conflicted about Jake finding his secret admirer, not knowing that it was you who's been sending him letters the past few months. You're not scared of him finding out that the letters were from you; that was the entire reason why you wrote him letters in the first place. You're scared of how he was gonna confront you about it. Would he like you back? Would he hate you? Would he avoid you?

Your mind was full of scenarios but you were suddenly brought back to reality when a hand planted itself on your desk. You look up and saw Jay standing in front of you, eating sushi with his other hand. His face kinda looks like he knows something, and it's freaking you out a bit.

"What?" You asked, suddenly flustered over how his eyes stared right into you. He took the seat in front of your desk and flipped it so it was facing you. He sat down and blurted the phrase that you were dreading to hear from anyone.

"So, you like Jake?"

You suddenly feel like punching him in the face with his sushi.

"What??" Your body felt like, and you were left a nervous mess. Your heart like it was going to pump right out of your chest any minute, and your hands started to sweat.

Jay's mouth formed into a smirk. He caught you. "Jake may be a bit oblivious, but I can totally see right through you."

“Haha...no you don’t,” You tried to deny, but it was all useless when his expression looked unconvinced.

“Oh yeah? Then why are you all red? You look like a bursting tomato.”

“You don’t know that," You leaned further into your seat, playing with the strings of your hoodie.

“C’mon Y/N, you’re not even trying. Just give up and admit it,” Jay was trying to help you confess your feelings for Jake. Frankly, he knew it was you sending him letters this whole time—how can Jake not see it?

With a heavy sigh, you slumped and laid your head on your desk, embarrassed. “Fine. I like him, okay? Are you happy now?”

The smirk on his face grew wider, feeling proud of himself. You are not dealing with his annoying crap this early in the morning. He grinned and munched on his half-eaten sushi. “I knew it.”

“Congratulations,” It was muffled because you hid your red face away from him. All that was on your mind now was how you could book yourself a flight all the way across the world.

“But seriously, since when did you have a crush on him?” You raised your head to face him, giving him a look that could kill, except Jay finds it entertaining rather than intimidating.

“I started having a crush on him when we were in fifth grade. It was at a friend's birthday party, and he saw me being all quiet and lonely. Honestly, I forgot who’s birthday that was.” You told him the very first time you had discovered feelings.

“He saw how sad I looked so he accompanied me the whole time. He was even trying to feel more included in the games and stuff.” You felt a smile ghosting on your lips as you can still vividly remember how you felt your heart tug the first time. “It was kinda like I fell in love at first sight.”

Jay faked a gag, so you lightly punched him in the shoulder. He may be a bit of an asshole, but he’s one the most caring and kind people you’ve ever met. It honestly felt good spilling out your feelings about Jake to him.

Speaking of, Jake was watching you two play around and laugh at Jay's little jokes from outside, and he felt something burning from inside him. Was it that he felt jealous of you and Jay?

No, he can’t be...right?

Maybe it was because of how he felt separated from you and Jay because of him being a separate class.

Yeah, maybe it's because of that.

Dear Jake,

I just had the most bizarre day today, and I felt like telling you about it.

It was chemistry period, and we had to be partnered with someone for a lab project. I ended up getting paired with Yeojin. We kinda created this unexpected friendship, which I love. We would crack jokes at each other, tell funny stories, it was so fun to be with her that we had completely forgotten about our project. So now, we both got a detention slip for making an accidental explosion.

How about you? How was your day? I hope it was just as fun as mine. If you feel like the day just wasn't as happy or you're feeling down, just now that it's okay to feel that way because days like these just lasts for 24 hours. It will be all over before you know it and you'll be greeted by another day. Maybe it will be different, and you would be all happy again just like how my day went. Maybe being with you would be my happiest day yet, and I couldn't wait for that day to come. See you soon :)

Love,

Moon

"Yeojin!" Jake called, seeing her walk down the opposite way. "Hey, mind if I ask you something?"

"Hey Jake," She greeted him with a smile. "Sure, go ahead."

"Could you perhaps give me any information about your partner in Chemistry?" He had hopes of getting any kind of description about his mysterious sender, but he was instead given a sad frown on Yeojin's face.

"Sorry Jake, but that person told me not to tell you about their information." She gave an apologetic smile. "I wish you all the best in finding them!"

Jake muttered a small "okay," and sighed before walking away, feeling defeated.

Yeojin knew that he was gonna ask about Moon the moment he called her from across the hall. She couldn't wait to tell you about this.

"Hey Y/N," A voice said from behind. You turned around to see Jake with his backup hung on his shoulder. He brought his hand up and raked his hair, and you felt your face grow red. Jake is like a gift from the gods. How can someone look so ethereal even if they're just standing there? You could stare at him all day. You couldn't even understand a thing he said until he started waving his hands in front of you.

"Hello?" You blinked multiple times as you were brought back out to reality. You saw Jake's face grow into concern. "Are you okay? spaced out."

"O-oh..No, I'm completely fine." You reassured him, feeling embarrassed. "What were you saying again?"

"I was asking you if you wanted to go to school with me early tomorrow."

Well, shit.

Your eyes started to go wide, and your hands started to go clammy.

"Tomorrow?" You repeated, voice trembling.

'Well, yeah." He pouted his lips, and you felt like melting into a small puddle in your place. Your heart started to pound heavily.

Oh my fucking god, he is so adorable.

"Okay, sure I can go with you tomorrow," You weakly smiled at him, slightly tense.

How we're you going to give him the letter now?

"Good Morning," Jake said as he watches you close the gates of your house. It was past five in the morning, and you were a mess.

"Morning," You replied back before running your fingers through your hair, getting rid of any flyaways.

As you started walking your way to the bus stop, Jake kept on glancing towards you from time to time. He knew you were pretty, but since when did you become really beautiful in his eyes?

The walk was pretty quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. For him, mostly.

Meanwhile, you couldn't stop freaking out. You had written a letter the night before, but you don't know how you were going to slip it into his locker without him taking notice. If he saw you, he would know.

"Are you sure you're okay? You've been like this since yesterday," Jake blurted. You looked at him before heaving a sigh.

"It's nothing," You mouthed, suddenly feeling anxious and gloomy.

"Something on your mind?"

"Something like that." It was hopeless. I guess he would have to miss this letter today. It was the first time you skipped a day, and you're feeling guilty that you would have to see Jake's face sadden that he wouldn't receive it today.

As you two stop at the bus stop, Jake looked slightly panicked as he was rummaging through the pockets of his blazer before looking through his bag. "Hey, do you have an extra pen? I left mine at home and I have a quiz today."

You snickered, "Out of all the days, Sim Jake. The same day you have a quiz is the same day you forget your pen."

"Very funny." He scoffed.

As you unzipped your bag to grab your pencil case, a folded piece of paper fell out without you realizing it. When Jake went to pick it up, he notices that it was folded the same way as the letters in his locker. It looked so identical.

Once you already got your pencil case out, you were about to hand it to him when you saw what he was holding that made your body freeze with your hand holding the case in the air.

"Why were one of my letters inside your bag?" He glanced at you, waiting for you to reply.

If you were freaking out before, this is a whole other thing. The thing that you were fearing the most is happening right before you.

"Maybe it fell into my bag yesterday..." You stammered, making up an excuse to look like it was an accident. You were tightly holding onto your pencil case, chanting many curse words in your head as you watch Jake unfold the letter.

"I don't think I've received this one yet," He said before he opened the letter and read it.

You watch as his expression formed into confusion as he reads through the paper. It only took a few moments before something in him clicked that it was you sending him the letters.

"Y/N," He began, and you started quivering in fear.

You should've known this would happen, but you didn't expect it to happen this sooner. In fact, you believed that this wouldn't happen at all. But it did.

"Let me explain," You eventually gave up and accepted fate and watch as your identity as "Moon" be revealed to your crush. You're now exposed so you didn't have any other choice but to explain everything. "Yes, I am Moon. I was the one writing you the letters that you've been getting in your locker."

Jake's face was unreadable. He looked bewildered and puzzled. He was trying to comprehend what was happening right now. All this time, it was you?

"I started crushing on you when we attended that birthday party before. I didn't want to confess my feelings for you because I was scared that you were going to harshly reject me, so I started writing down letters as a way to tell you how I feel about you without making you feel awkward around me." You continued, eyes suddenly taking an interest in your shoes. They were brand new too.

Jake was silent, and you felt your heart crack into pieces. You were mad at yourself for being so careless about it that he ended up finding out about you as his secret admirer. You wanted nothing else but to run back home, lock yourself in your room and cry with your sad playlist on loop.

You were expecting a harsh rejection coming from him, but what surprised was how he took dangerous steps towards you, minimizing the gap between you two. He placed his hand under your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

"I don't plan on rejecting you Y/N," You stare into his eyes as it reflects the sunlight of the early morning. "I'm actually happy that it was you."

You look at him, puzzled. He lowly chuckles under his breath before leaning over to place his lips against yours. It was a light, quick kiss, but it brought you feeling ecstatic. You've dreamed of this moment before, and now that it happened, you thanked your clumsiness.

As he pulled away, you were sure your face was a red mess.

"Thank you," His smile was as bright as the stars in the sky. It was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. "Thank you for making me like I'm special to someone."

You felt flustered over his words. You were scared that he could hear the sound of your heart pounding loudly. The butterflies in your stomach were going wild, and you felt like this was all a dream.

"So, what am I to you now?" You broke into a smile as he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

Jake acted as if he was thinking, "Hm..maybe my best friend still?"

He bursts into a fit of giggles as he sees your smile slowly disappear, replacing it with a look of disbelief. You removed your hand from his and walked at a faster pace away from him.

He ran to match your pace beside you before holding your hand again, "I'm sorry, I won't ever do that again. Is my girl mad at me?"

"Oh my god, it's only five-fifty, Jake." You too broke into laughter over his cheesiness, but your heart fluttered over the thought of Jake calling you his.

HERE’S A LITTLE BONUS! since I've made you guys wait for 4 months :(

"What the fuck?" Was the first thing You heard from Jay as you and Jake entered the classroom. All of your classmates were staring at your and his hands intertwined together.

Jay stood in front of you two, crossing his arms together. "Can one of you explain when this happened?" he motioned towards your linking hands. You and Jake smiled at each other before walking away, leaving Jay in a fit of joy, and confusion.

170 notes · View notes

duuhrayliegh · 3 years

Text

male chivalry

warnings: okay so there is a trigger warning of sexual harassment and attempted sexual assault, language, men being gross, protective!bucky, angst a bit, i think that’s it, if you see anything else let me know

word count: 3230 :)

a/n: idk why it took me so long to finish this, but it’s here now!!! also this is based off this post from @teaboot (just the op bc the rest of it pissed me off :)) i hope y’all like it. i hope it’s what y’all expected idk, i’m proud of it.

i really hope i did the topics justice, if you don’t think i did, please shoot me a message and help me figure out how to do better. <3

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open! also this is not beta read, so all mistakes are my own.

xoxo ray

ray’s m.list

************************************

It had been about three weeks since Bucky had first met the group of four at the protest. Bucky made sure to check in with Steve and let him know what he was doing. Steve was always worrying about Bucky, which was totally understandable because of everything they had been through.

Bucky’s day was a relaxed one with little to no time to dawdle. Over these three weeks, he had learned more from an eighteen year old than he ever thought he would. It was easier to open up to her, for some reason. Bucky hadn’t fully figured that out yet either, but he wasn’t going to question it.

Bucky had been going to his court mandated therapy with Dr. Raynor, to say they were making progress would be a lie. Honestly, Bucky was making more progress with the new individuals in his life. They knew what he did as the Winter Soldier-- no they know what the Winter Soldier did, Cassie made sure the distinction between the two was crystal clear. Bucky was still a bit cautious around them, not wanting to hurt them or be a burden to them.

It amazed Bucky how open they were with each other. Back in the 40’s, you didn’t express your feelings. Especially if you were a man, for fear of being labeled something unsavory. Even stranger still to Bucky was the encouragement and support that everyone gave to those in hard times. It warmed Bucky’s heart to see Penny comforting Freddie after his recent break up.

“Freddie and Ted had been together a little over six months,” Cassie explained to Bucky one night after the group had dispersed from the dining table. Bucky and Cassie were standing over the sink washing the dinner plates and cutlery. “Freddie was so in love with him. I thought Ted felt the same, but I guess that’s just how it goes, right?”

Bucky shrugged, this was one of his first experiences with modern romance. Dating in the 40’s was very rigid, which was to be expected, but nowadays everything is very fluid. It truly fascinated Bucky.

“I honestly don’t know.” Bucky shrugged as he dried the pristine plates. Just as he began to get lost in thought, Evie pulled him into a subject that he hadn’t thought of in a real long time.

“What was it like with women in the forties, Buck?” Bucky blinked at her and considered his answer carefully. The group had been teaching him how to handle some subjects sensitively.

“To be honest? The last date that I went on was to the World Expo of Tomorrow in 1943, the night before I shipped out to England.” He turned, leaning his weight on the counter behind him and crossing his arms over his chest. “I went with Steve, this was before he was Captain America, so when he was a little ol’ gangly thing. I had hooked us up with two women, one for me and one for Stevie, their names were Dot and Connie, I think.”

“No, no, that’s not what I mean, Buck. What was it like with women?”

Bucky tilted his head in question.“What do you mean?”

“What was it like with them? Like, how were they treated as a whole?”

“Oh, uh I think they were treated well? My Ma always told Steve and I to treat women with respect, so we did.”

“Right, but what about everyone else? How did they treat women?” Bucky was confused by the question and he began to think that he was giving the wrong answers.

“Um, I guess I don’t know. I guess they were treated how they are today?” Both of the girls in front of him released disdained scoffs.

“Well, that’s unfortunate, right Cas?” Cassie nodded at Evie and dropped her head in disappointment.

“Why do you say that?” Bucky asked. He was genuinely curious about what the girls were referring to. “I mean, I get that the treatment of women hasn’t always been good but it’s not that bad right?” The girls shared a knowing look, and then Evie sighed. She hauled herself out of her chair and nodded to Bucky.

“Alright, let’s go take a walk, just you and me.”

“Where are we going?”

“Oh, just a couple blocks away to the Walgreens. Sound okay?” Bucky agreed, grabbing his jacket and waiting for Evie by the doorway. “We’ll be back soon, Cas.”

“Uh, are you sure that’s a good idea, Evelyn?” Bucky had only ever heard Cassie use Evie’s full name when she was getting in trouble.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine, Cas, I swear.” Evie glanced at Bucky, “Besides, I’ve got a Sargent escorting me, so we’ve got nothing to worry about.” She threw a smile to her older sister whose face was just a veil of worry and doubt.

Bucky and Evie exited the apartment building and neither of them had said anything since. Bucky was wondering what this whole exercise was all about, but he wasn’t going to say anything until Evie did. The pair walked up onto a crosswalk, causing them to stop and wait so Evie was able to turn the man beside her.

“So, before we go any further, I just want to set the scene for you.” She took a calming breath and it was now that Bucky realized that this was the first time that she was noticeably scared. His brows furrowed and he nodded as she continued. “It’s ten o’clock on a Wednesday night and you’re in Brooklyn, walking to your local Walgreens because you need tampons.” Bucky huffed out a small laugh as Evie playfully glared at the man.

“Yeah, yeah. The female menstrual cycle is hilarious as is the pink tax that is put on feminine hygiene products. Laugh it up, James.” She shook her head and pulled Bucky closer to the front of a building. “I’m trying to tell you something, ya asshole. So, you see that it’s dark outside because it’s late but you decide to risk it anyway because you have a flight to catch at four the next morning. You leave your apartment and you are greeted with this.” She gestured to the expanse in front of her.

“Alright, let’s go. And just a word of wisdom real quick before we really get going. Women are considered fragile but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego.”

“Wow, that’s quite a pearl.” Bucky caught up to Evie as she made her way down the street.

“So being a woman and even more so, being a woman at night, means that you have to constantly be on guard.” As they were walking, a man in a greasy white tank top passed them. The man’s head turned and he scanned Evie’s body.

“Goddamn, that’s a sweet little body there, baby girl.” Bucky’s head snapped around to the man, but Evie kept walking. Bucky looked over to Evie with concern riddling his features.

“Hey, sweetcheeks! Let me talk to you for a while!” The greasy man was now following Evie and Bucky. “I bet I can show you a better time than he can, baby girl. Come on, let me talk to you.” He reached his hand out, gripping Evie’s arm and pulling her to face him.

“Please don’t touch me.” “Get your fucking hands off her, you dick.” The man took a step backwards away from the pair.

“Well, fine you bitch! I didn’t want you anyway, fucking fat ass.”

“Hey, you don’t just get to fucking walk away, you jackass! Apologize to her.”

“Why should I apologize to her? I was giving her a compliment.” Bucky’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. Did this guy just fucking--

“Okay, buddy.” Bucky went to approach the man to settle their disagreement when Evie stopped him.

“James, leave it. Let’s go.” She kept walking and Bucky didn’t want to leave her alone, not after that whole debacle.

“What the fuck was that Evie?” He questioned quickly, she shook her head in response but never verbally responded to him. A few paces later, the pair was about to pass a group of men leaned up against the brick wall behind them. Brown paper bags crunched around bottles were grasped in their hands. Drunken laughter was ringing out through the near empty streets.

“Hey baby! Why don’t you come on over here so we can talk to ya!” One of the men began to step in front of Evie effectively stopping her movement. The eighteen year old took a few steps backwards, coincidentally into Bucky’s chest. His arms came up to meet hers, about to move in front of her in a protective stance.

“Woah, you got a bodyguard baby?” The man tilted his head and stared at Evie. “You know you don’t need him sweetheart.”

“Damn, baby girl. You’re fine as hell.” Another man walked to stand next to the first. “What do I gotta do to get you in my bed?”

“Please leave us alone.”

“No, baby girl I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen.” Bucky stepped in front of Evie protectively.

“I think she told you to leave us alone.” The two men in front of Bucky didn’t waver. Two raised brows and a fit of laughter later, they still maintained their ground.

“Why? You guys going somewhere to fuck? Already got a piece of that ass and don’t want to share it big man?”

“That’s just cold. You gotta share sometime. And it’s just easier to do it now rather than later.” Evie trembled behind Bucky and leaned up so only Bucky could hear her.

“Come on Bucky, let’s just go back to the apartment.” She tugged on his right arm, fingers digging into his soft flesh. Bucky was sure that he would have crescent shaped indentations where her nails laid in because of how much she was gripping him.

Bucky’s eyes flicked up and down the two men in front of him, assessing how much of a threat they were. They were clearly enough of a threat to frighten Evie to the point of wanting to go home. Bucky gave Evie a stiff nod, not taking his eyes off of the men.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going baby? We’re just getting started!” One of them yelled at the pair as he reached out to grab Evie’s forearm. A split second later, Bucky’s left hand balled into a fist and he launched it at the man’s face. A loud crack resounded and a groan left the man’s mouth as he hit the ground. A look of shock fell across the other’s faces as they saw Bucky standing over their fallen comrade. The group took several steps away from the pair, holding their hands up in surrender.

“Don’t you ever touch a woman without her permission, you fucking prick.” Bucky then turned quickly, grabbing Evie’s wrist tightly and hauling her away from the men. Several paces later, Bucky still held a tight grip on the girl's arm.

“Bucky, you’re kind of hurting me.” Evie’s voice broke through Bucky’s barriers. He let up on how fast he was walking and then dropped Evie’s arm.

Worried eyes scanned her body for any bruising, “I’m so sorry, doll. Are you okay?” Evie laughed as she was rubbing her sore wrists.

“Bucky, that’s normal for any woman. Ever.” Shaking her head, she began walking back towards the apartment. “We could’ve kept on going to Walgreens, but I wasn’t sure your fragile heart could take it.” Bucky drew in his brows and a deep frown etched itself into his features.

“What the hell do you mean that’s normal, Evelyn?” He thrust his arm behind them, gesturing to what they just went through. “Nothing about that was normal.” Still shaking her head, the eighteen year old shrugged her shoulders.

“It’s normal for women.” She glanced at Bucky as she continued on her way. “Also, I know that you were probably just defending my honor or protecting me or whatever, but I want you to really think back, Buck. Think about when you were picking up women in the forties, did you ever push when they didn’t want to have that drink with you? Did you continuously ask for them to dance with you?”

“No, I told you. My Ma raised me the right way.” They walked up to the apartment building and Bucky reached for the door handle. Evie began making her up the stairs, Bucky not far behind her. She stopped suddenly, a few flights before Cassie’s apartment.

“What about your friends?” Bucky was taken aback. His memories were still a bit fuzzy about those times, but he could remember clearly enough. Although he wasn’t quite sure what she meant by the questions she was asking.

“What are you getting at Evie?” He huffed while opening the door to Cassie’s apartment. Freddie and Penny were lounged on the couch with an almost empty bottle of wine. Cassie’s head shot up at the sound of the two walking in the doorway. Evie dumped her things off on the granite countertop and turned on her heel to stare at Bucky.

“Did you ever stop your friends when women said no?” The quiet laughter between Penny and Freddie stopped suddenly as Evie’s question hung in the air. All eyes were on Bucky as he gulped and thought back to the times at the bars. Out with Steve and the other Howling Commandos, did they ever do that? He tried to think of a time when they pushed for what they wanted to happen. Of a time when the woman they were pursuing reluctantly gave in because they wouldn’t leave her alone. Evie didn’t wait for an answer, she could see that he was processing everything.

“So why did you stop those guys back there?” Her brows raised and her head tilted in question. Bucky took a deep breath and was about to answer when Evie cut him off. “By punching that guy out there, you’re a hero and we should all thank you and congratulate you for doing the right thing.” She stepped closer to Bucky and the three in the living room understood where Evie was going.

“What do you think would have been said if I would’ve punched him? Sure, you would’ve said something snappy and nice about how I can take care of myself. The general public though? They would say that I overreacted.”

“Easy Evie, he’s still learning.” Cassie said quietly. Bucky was thankful for that, he still did have a lot to learn but it felt like Evie was attacking him. That’s the point, you fucking dumbass. If you had been berating her for putting herself in danger by punching that guy, you would think she was reckless.

“Her point, Bucky, is that the double standard for men and women goes beyond what we expect. Everyone goes crazy for the knight saving the damsel, but everyone hates the damsel for saving herself.” Freddie explained from the comfort of the couch. Bucky nodded, starting to understand the concept. “And her questions about your old buddies. That has to do with the fact that you’re part of the problem.”

“What problem is that?” Bucky was honestly scared to know the answer but he knew to fully learn, he had to get all the facts, both good and bad.

“Stunting the growth of feminism. Being one of the people perpetuating the fact that it’s okay for men to be violent, but not for women.”

“Violence in the form of defending oneself in any capacity.” In Bucky’s line of work, he sees tons of capable and strong women. Natasha, Okoye, Shuri, Sharon, he could think of so many. Then he tried to think of when any of them got the limelight like Steve or himself.

“So it’s like anytime that there would be press releases for the team, and the interviewers would come and ask us questions,” he paused to think how to word what he wanted to say, “they always ask the guys about like super important things like how we’re keeping the city safe and stuff. But when they talk to the girls, they ask about their workout schedule and if they can wear underwear under their suits?”

“Yes, it’s exactly like that Bucky. That’s just a different form of it.” Evie replied quickly. She came up to hug Bucky. “I didn’t mean to attack you or anything, but this is something that we all feel is really important for you to grasp now that you’re back out there.”

“And now that you can recognize when it’s happening, the next important step is to stop it before it happens.” Penny yelled from the living room as she downed the last of the bottle in her hand.

“I’m so sorry, Evie. I didn’t know.”

“I know, I’m sorry too. You’re still figuring stuff out, but I needed you to see what it was really like for women.”

“Okay.” Bucky nodded. “How can I help this situation?” The group exchanged proud looks.

“Well, educate everyone around you. Don’t let it happen when you’re around.” Cassie said as she walked into the kitchen to crack open another bottle of wine. “And just support women. Push our problems into the public’s eye.” Bucky smiled, he could handle that, he was good at that.

Considering he was on his way to becoming a member of the Avengers, he would be able to influence from up high. He could openly support groups that were run by women, for women. He was used to standing in the background for things he didn’t believe in, so standing for something that he did was going to be a cakewalk.

A concern floated into the forefront of Bucky’s mind. He looked down at Evie, who had just recently released him from her death grip of a hug. “You know how to defend yourself right?”

Evie’s brows raised in a challenging manner, “Do I look like I don’t know how to defend myself?” The man shook his head and smiled as the surrounding group laughed. Cassie poured a glass of wine and cracked open a bottle of beer for Bucky.

They all made their way to the comfy couches to snuggle in for a movie night, satisfied with their teachings for the night.

“What are we watching tonight?”

“Well, in the spirit of feminism, we are going to watch Legally Blonde.” Penny commented as she picked up the remote. “And it’s Freddie’s favorite so yeah.”

The lights clicked off as the opening credits ran for the movie. Bucky looked around his group of friends as they giggled at the screen. Evie had her head in Cassie’s lap and she was stretched across the sofa with her feet tucked under Bucky’s thigh. Freddie and Penny were curled up in the loveseat across from where Bucky was. Pieces of popcorn and glasses of red wine were being passed from person to person, with the exception of Evie who was still underage. The energy surrounding the five of them was something Bucky hadn’t experienced in a long time and he wasn’t going to give it up anytime soon either.

A large grin overtook his face, although today was one of the harder lessons for him to learn, he wouldn’t want anyone else to be teaching him.

***********************

@mishaandthebrits

#twenty first century liabilities #bucky x oc #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes fanfic #james buchanan barnes fanfiction #sebastian stan #bucky fanfic #bucky fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader

172 notes · View notes

nagipops · 3 years

Note

Hi! I don't know if you're gonna answer this, but I'm currently making a blue lock fanfiction and I was wondering if you could explain the characters nature, because you seem to know them so well in your headcanons. Because it's kinda hard for me to make certain parts of my story without understanding the characters :(

Sorry for bothering you and sorry if you don't understand what I mean 😬

HI ANON!!! my deepest apologies for the delayed response, and you are not a bother at all <3 i am truly honored that you decided to ask me about this, so here we go!

side note: these lowkey turned into a mini headcanon type of thing, so.. ENJOY? I GUESS?

p.s. i didn’t know which characters you wanted me to write about, so i just did the ones i write for the most! if you have any more questions, please do not hesitate to send another ask or message me!

ISAGI

i would say he’s lowkey the embodiment of second hand embarassment 😭

like he always tries a little too hard but with the best intentions possible

SUPER SWEET THOUGH, a tad bit awkward, but who doesn’t love flustered soft boys??

*cue heart squeeze*

BACHIRA

pinkie pie in human form.

bouncing off of the walls 90% of the time, but will flip like a switch during that rare 10% and just get all soft and sleepy and cuddly

always has a smile on his face, super positive all the time :D

well, except when for when his imaginary friend.. you know.

NAGI

you’d think he was this scary, tight-lipped, brooding soccer superstar who’s too cool for school (im looking at you, rin 🙄)

but he’s literally just a lazy beanpole. a simple man

can and will fall asleep at any given moment or complain about being hungry

sulk… - x -

RIN

a scary, tight-lipped, brooding soccer superstar who’s too cool for school

easily irritated at the smallest of things

the childhood trauma from his brother literally abandoning him and crushing his dream still lingers

but the right person can help with that :)

SAE

OK I POSTED ABOUT THIS BEFORE BUT I LITERALLY CANNOT WRITE CANON SAE 😭

canon sae is a grade-a ASSHOLE and he’ll let everyone know about it. he’s got a venom tongue

fanon sae (in my head which is canon because i say so) has moved past his assholery and is now soft and devoted to the one he loves

also he is famous in multiple countries. 😇

SHIDOU

i once described him as the “kool-aid man on steroids” and i still stand by that.

he has… violent tendencies, so PDA is not in his dictionary. it’s more like. public displays of lowkey concerning behavior towards his s/o. PDLCBTS.

very loud! in your face! explosions! this man cannot be tamed! so dont try!

YUKIMIYA

okay whenever i think of him i just associate him with honey

like idk if it’s his voice, his heart, or his scent, he’s just liquid gold personified

canonically a street soccer prodigy AND a supermodel on the side, this man has it ALL

teasing, but in the sweetest way possible. I LOVE HIMMMM

WELP THATS IT HAHAH i had a lot of fun with these but i hope they were somewhat helpful 😭 again, if you need me to go more in depth or describe other characters, feel free to shoot me another ask!

p.s: make sure to tag me/send me your fanfic when it’s completed! i’d love to read and support it <333

#blue lock #blue lock headcanons #blue lock manga #bllk #bllk headcanons #pop.ask #what do i even tag this as #kat has fun

76 notes · View notes

talesofphantombandits · 3 years

Text

Zero to Six ~ The Death of Six - Edited version.

Greetings and salutations! So I know this isn’t what everyone wanted but people are still reading Zero to Six and I’m honestly so grateful that a year on, people are still loving this series. But I never felt like I wrote it properly, the chapters where always too short and I felt like they were never detailed enough so I wanted to bring to you an edited version (that probably still won’t be perfect.) one that I’m more satisfied with. I will be keeping the original version up just in case people prefer that one, maybe one day I’ll take it down? who knows but yeah so enjoy! <3 P.s I’ve missed you all so much and I’ve really missed this series. Hopefully sometime soon the Prequel will be out which I have started and named ‘Before there was Six, there was Zero.’

Characters: Four X Zero (OC) Summary: Zero was the first person to be ‘saved’ by One, she was his first honorary Ghost. Her knowledge in tech meant she got the role of ‘Hacker’ she recruited new team members, looked for missions and locations and made sure every security measure was looked at. You know normal hacker spy stuff. But her tough up bringing meant that if needs be she could fight, she was maybe even better than some people on the team knew. But due to One’s protectiveness over her she had to stay hidden, she was more of an actual ghost than the rest of the team was. This didn’t mean she couldn’t have her fun though, over the months of being with the full team she had formed quite a passionate love/ hate relationship with the handsome Four. Who knows what sparks would fly if they were ever to meet. Warnings: Slight swearing, some suggestive flirting in later chapters.

Tagg list: (I know this is a edit of my original story but if anyone wants to be tagged let me know.) @raylan-c

Zero to Six ~ Part 2. Edited Version. Masterlist.

“You’re stalling.”

“I’m not stalling.” Zero could practically hear the smirk in Fours voice over the coms. “I’m simply just working myself up to it.”

She laughed. “You always say that, and you’re always stalling.” She was playing on his last nerve, she knew it but this would be good for Four and entertainment for her. He always worked better when he was frustrated and no one stressed him out quite like Zero.

Four had been doing parkour for most of his life, or that’s what he told them. Yet he was still fearful every single time, still I guess that’s what made him great at it the fear of always falling gave him the adrenaline he needed to make the jumps.

Another breathless laugh fluttered through Zeros left ear. “Don’t test me darling.” Now it was his turn to make Zero sweat, this always happened. Zero would insult and tease and Four would flirt right back, although most of the team were used to it by now they still broke them up from time to time.

“Whatever monkey boy, just be ready for when Six gets his ass in gear!” She clicked her tongue. “I can hear you mocking me asshole, remember I hold the key here I can make your life a living hell with just one click of a button.”

“You already make my life hell darling, But I live for it everyday.”

“Swear to god Four, you’re a pain in my ass.” She mumbled as she typed away at the computer trying to figure out their next move so she could be ready with any instruction they needed.

“I’m sure your ass is pretty fine, I can’t wait to see it someday.” She could practically feel the smirk.

“Yeah? And I can't wait to punch the smirk off that pretty face one day, only you could be in a life or death situation and be thinking about my virtual ass.”

“Wait, did you just admit to fancying me Zero? Guys she called me handsome, I think I’m getting somewhere.”

“Go for Four!” Saved by the bell it seems, One’s voice rang through coms. Zero silently thanked god for she did fancy Four, who wouldn’t fancy that absolute Greek god of a man? With that honey voice and the moves he had! moves he could use on her, she shook her head hoping the images of him forming in her head would magically fall out of her brain never to return, but she wouldn’t be so lucky.

“Shut the hell up, stop thinking about ways to seduce Zero and get your ass down here we need you!” And just like that, it was go time. “NOW!”

Zero had been working with this team for a while now, but she was more on the surveillance side of the missions, which meant that she had never officially met the team face to face. The only person she had actually met was One, who had recruited her. He would visit from time to time, she liked to think they had a special bond. She was in fact the first person in need that One had found and ever since then he had become a sort of father figure to her.

Two was next who was sort of cold at times, Zero put this down to her CIA training but she had never been anything but caring towards Zero. Then she found Three, a hitman who she was reluctant to look into at first but she knew now it was the best thing for her and the team. Despite his past he was one of the most sweet and caring men she’d ever met, and he never failed to make her smile on a bad day. Ever since recruiting Four, she felt the atmosphere in the group shift slightly, there was nothing bad about him but they both couldn’t ignore the growing attraction between them, and this was just over cyber space. She then found her best friend in Five, she was different from the rest. Not as violent and rash but still amazing at what she did and protecting herself and others, Zero knew if she ever needed someone the first person she’d go to was Five.

Six was her latest recruit, one that she knew was extremely talented in not only driving but in all things mechanical too, they had chatting a few times about servers and bots and he’d promised her a round in their shared favourite video game once this mission was complete.

She’d be lying to herself and everyone else if she said she didn’t want to meet them all in person, they were the closest thing she had, had to family. However she knew that if she was to meet them nothing could ever come of her and Four. One would definitely not allow it, and most likely lock her straight back up.

Still they were sort of this dysfunctional family, and she was definitely the odd one out. She couldn’t remember the last time she had, had a normal conversation with someone who wasn’t ‘dead’ the only time she was allowed to leave the flat was when One said it was moving day. He didn’t like her staying in one flat too long, she must have moved at least four times this year already. While she was alone in her flat eating ready meals they were all back at base eating together, she sometimes pretended she was there eating with them. Three telling her some stupid story that no one else is listening to because they have heard it at least a thousand times, but she would just be so happy to hear his beautiful accent in person that she would listen to anything he was telling her. How she wished she could hug three in real life. The closest she had gotten to eating with them was over coms, sometimes they would leave the line open for debriefing but it still made her feel like an outcast.

“I’m coming down!” Everything was going wrong, Six had gone the wrong way. Which Zero wasn’t surprised to see as everyone in the car was shouting at each other, she sat there in her gaming chair drinking Dr Pepper and enjoying her fried chicken meal while everyone was losing their minds in the field. Maybe getting to stay in the comfort of her flat wasn’t so bad after all?

“Good boy.” She praised Four. “Finally putting those parkour skills to use, other than robbing some innocent person.”

Even before he started to speak she could tell he’d started to run because his speech came out in huffs. “Shut up, at least I can do parkour which makes me cooler than a girl who sits at her computer all day.”

She had to laugh. “What are you? Five years old? Try again when you can think up better come backs, I can’t take you seriously right now.”

Wherever One moved Zero was never too far away from where the team worked, the first time the rest of the team worked this out was when Zero first used the drone to help navigate them someplace safe. That was also the first time she finally got to see Four in action, the image of him running along the rooftops like a monkey in the jungle both amused her and impressed her. Hence the nickname she had given him. But there were also times when he would have close calls, where he had nearly fallen to his death that’s when the breath would get knocked out of her and she would only calm when she knew he was safe on the ground again.

“Right over you guys.” He said in a strained voice while leaping onto another roof.

“So guys, just look out for the flying monkey above you. That will be Four.” Most of the teasing with Four was just to pass the time while they were out in the field having fun and mainly it was just way too fun to hear him get so frustrated.

“Zero, that’s not helping us.” One said in a sing-song voice.

“Maybe it’s not helping you, but it is definitely helping me pass the time.” All she could hear was a disappointed grunt from One which just made her chuckle,it was also very fun to piss One off.

“Six! SIX! Wrong way god damn it!”

She cringed at how loud Four had screamed down the coms. “Come back! I’ve got an idea.”

“Ladies and gentleman, for the first time in his life Four has an idea!” She said mindlessly typing away trying to find the best route for them to escape by.

“You know what Zero, when we finally meet I’m going to run that fine ass of yours into the ground.” He all but growled.

“You can try monkey boy, but you’ll have to catch me first.” She smirked to herself, she secretly hoped that, that was more of a promise than a mere threat. “Oh, challenge accepted sweetheart. I’d love to have a game of cat and mouse with you.”

“You two do remember that we are on a mission right now, right?” Six moaned. “What with you two flirting, and these absolute idiots fighting beside me in the car. I’m finding it very hard to concentrate on driving!” With every word Six’s voice got more agitated and louder.

“We are not flirting!” Both Four and Zero exclaimed together.

“Aww they even said it at the same time!” Zero just rolled her eyes at One’s teasing. “No one cares, now both of you shut up so we can all get out of here.”

“That’s it Six, keep coming towards me!” The drone was filming just above the action, once she’d wiped her hands and they were free from the grease on her chicken. She finally realised what Four was about to do.

Suddenly the car that was tailing Six was being impaled by five metal tubes. “God, okay I’m definitely done eating now. That was so gross.”

Then the screaming started to fill the coms. “Guy’s, what the hell are you doing?” All Zero could make out was something about an eyeball.

“This is so stressful! Can everyone stop arguing and speaking over each other?!” Zero was getting agitated now.

“YOU THINK YOU’RE STRESSED?! I’M TRYING TO DRIVE WHILST ALSO TRYING NOT TO KILL ANYONE, DID I MENTION I ALSO HAVE AN EYEBALL ON MY LEG?!” Six all but screamed down the coms, loud enough that Zero had to remove her earpiece until she was sure he was done with his rant.

“Six sweetie,” she said as calmly as she could, trying not to laugh. “Are you okay?”

“DO I SOUND LIKE I’M OKAY ZERO?!” She knew he would say that, she finally let out the chuckle she was trying to hold as to not irritate him further.

“Sorry I was just asking. I swear I‘m not using your painful situation to make myself feel better.” She held her hands up in defence even though he couldn’t see her.

He just let out a huff. “I’m going to ignore you now Zero, you’re pissing me off more than these guys are.”

After the commotion things went quiet for a while, there was now a helicopter tailing them so all effort and concentration went on losing it. While there was little chatter over the coms the main sound that dominated the air was the gunfire, Zero silently prayed to herself while she watched the drone that everyone would make it out of their first real mission alive. One finally found a route for them, conveniently inside of a building that would shelter them enough to lose the aerial surveillance they were under.

“The drone will meet you on the other side, good luck and please try not to make too much of a mess in there Six. There are some priceless statues in there we would all like preserving.” Just as Zero finished her sentence she heard a loud crash.

“You were saying?” Six chuckled nervously.

“You didn’t.” Zero stared shocked at her screen, mouth wide open.

One was the one to respond to her though. “Unfortunately he did, don’t worry we’re all just as disappointed in him.”

“Okay we finally lost the chopper, Zero do you have a visual?” One asked surprisingly calmly.

“You mean the bright green car, kind of hard to miss. Good choice Six you really blend in.” Zero laughed. “I see you, there are two black vans heading your way. Shake them off then head to the arranged rendezvous spot where Three will be waiting for you.”

Six’s voice was strained when he spoke. “Listen, fast and convenient was what I was told to get. So that’s what I got.”

Zero would have responded but she was more distracted by the sight of Four on a skateboard holding a launcher. He jumped off the board and leaped up onto the stone wall just as one of the black vans passed, he aimed and shot, never missing the mark. She was impressed for a moment but then saw the smug smile on his face, he looked directly into the drone and winked at Zero. She just scoffed, what an absolute show off.

“Seems like we have a superhero on our team.” Six laughed impressed.

Zero scoffed again, but this time loud enough so everyone could hear it over the coms. “I wouldn’t exactly call him a superhero.”

“Then what would you call me darling? A Greek god?” This is the thing about Four, he’d never met Zero in person but he knew exactly how to push her buttons. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy the banter from time to time.

“Hurm more like a vein asshole that thinks far too highly of himself.” She snapped back.

But he just laughed, the complete opposite of what she was expecting. “I mean everyone else loves me, might as well love myself too.” She rolled her eyes, She really couldn’t blame him though he was a very handsome man but no way in hell was she ever going to tell him that. “One day you’ll fall for the charm that everyone else falls for. I know you’re already obsessed with me.”

“In your dreams Four.”

“It already happens in my dreams, every night darling. I’d be happy to elaborate later on in a private chat.” Zero audibly gagged.

“Guy’s can we please cut out the flirting until after the mission? We’re nearly there and I don’t think any of us want to hear whatever this is.” One sounded tired and Zero just laughed at how much their fighting annoyed the other members.

“Yes boss!” She added in a salute even though One couldn’t see her, he could feel she was mocking him.

Just then the drone cut out. “Shit! Someone shot down the drone. You’re on your own from here guys.”

There was a commotion through the coms, one that didn’t sound at all good. Car tyres screeched, bullets rain down on the metal of the car Zero held her breath as she waited for anything. Even just a breath so she knew at least someone was still alive, her heart stopped when the line had been silent for too long she had to know what happened.

“Guys, come on talk to me. What’s going on? Why are you all being so silent? What happened?” There was another breath of silence and her mind went straight to Four, she shook her head. No! She wasn’t going to let herself think about that, she scolded herself for getting too attached to the little shit.

The was a crackle over the line, Five cleared her throat. “Six is dead, we’re in the van, the space is clear.”

Zero sucked in a breath, she felt like her lungs were burning. “What?”

“Zero listen to me, you need to turn off coms now.” One must have turned from the group, he was using his quiet, serious voice. “I’ll handle this okay, I’ll check back in with you later.”

Just like that he was gone, she clicked the switch to turn off almost absentmindedly. She sat back in her chair, only snapping back to reality when she felt something wet fall on her hand. She softly touched her face to find her cheeks were wet, when had she started to cry? Six wasn’t someone she knew in person, he had been the last member of the team but still a very important piece of their puzzle. She thought about the game he had promised to play with her after the mission, this would never come to pass now. Now he was really dead, and it was all her fault.

For the first time Zero started to think about the whole team and if One’s master plan of being ghosts to take down the world’s evil was such a good idea after all, why had it taken a real death in the team for her to even think about this. What if it had been Four, she didn’t think she could live with herself if anything ever happened to Four, maybe it was a good thing they had never met. Seeing him in person, hearing his deep honey voice, feeling his warmth would definitely make her fall deeper then she already was. He was just a voice over the coms but behind that was a real person, one that probably wouldn’t even share the same feelings towards her. So she thought ‘Yes, It’s a good thing I’m behind this computer screen and not with them in person.’ She had to try to distance herself from now on.

......

Just wanted to say one last Thank You! for the continued support for this story <3

#ben hardy #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy fanfiction #ben hardy four #6 underground #6 underground fanfiction #6 underground four #6 underground fanfic #6 underground billy #four #four fanfiction #four fanfic #four x reader #four x oc #four x zero #billy x reader #billy x oc #billy x scout #6 underground x reader

113 notes · View notes

tuesdayintheservantshall · 3 years

Note

Jimmy has no right to *that* hostile (ie downright homophobic). He already almost threw Thomas out onto the street without a reference; if anyone has a right to be scared it’s Thomas; he’s now aware everyone knows he’s gay and he knows at least one or two of those people(one of them being jimmy) would happily throw him under the bus given the chance. He’s literally never been so vulnerable and there’s no need for jimmy to rub it in

Hey Nonny you’re my first official fandom argument! Or you were when I first drafted this over a week ago lol. Since then I've waded into some drama bc I have poor impulse control. Well you're my first argumentative anon still! Do I get a prize, or do you? Have an, um apple of discord: 🍏And I will have one too: 🍏 (Intended tone: genuinely friendly, although if you are not already aware you should know that in fandom spaces messages like these are generally considered hostile acts. Most people don’t want to argue with strangers about why their faves suck, and especially not in response to tags they made about their overwhelmed shippy feelings. (Although I guess if hypothetically you’re the OP of the post I put the tags on and weren’t comfortable with them being on your post that’s admittedly a tough place to be in. Coming to me with your face on and asking me to remove my reblog or the tags because you’re not comfortable with them runs the risk of me being an asshole or taking something in your phrasing badly and starting a big fight. Uh, the chances of that seem rather remote so I’m gonna leave the tags where they are unless OP comes to me and says “I hadn’t wanted to say anything but actually -”.) Anyway I’m not gonna derail this into a long(er than it is) ramble on preferred ways to discuss disagreements in fandom but I might post something like that at a later date.)

God I use way too many parentheses. Apologies to any with a blacklist for Jimmy (do I still have any of those? not sure), obviously I don’t want to put this in the tags. I shall tag this and any further discourse on the subject with “the storyline that shall not be named”. Let’s get (finally) to it!

So, the first thing I wanna say is: yes, Jimmy makes homophobic comments and that’s bad, both because Thomas being gay is not the reason he assaulted Jimmy and because there’s hypothetically a chance someone who doesn’t already know might figure out Thomas’s sexuality based on Jimmy’s comment(s? There's the one before the rope tug and then I could have sworn there was one other one but I'm blanking on what it actually was.)However a) the moment I was commenting on wasn’t one of the homophobic comments and b) I find it important to distinguish between the specific manner of hostility (sometimes homophobic) and the level of hostility (nasty remarks and making a constant point of distancing himself) and the level is in fact 100% warranted. If you think nasty remarks and pointed distancing are more hostile than a person has a right to be towards the guy who sexually assaulted them, then we have a pretty profound disagreement.

As for your other point, regarding fear: Thomas and Jimmy both have very compelling reasons to be afraid of each other but I have to ask exactly what you think Jimmy is “rubbing in?” He initially tried to retaliate excessively against Thomas, backed down from that, and then discovered that instead of facing a reasonable consequence for assaulting him, such as being fired but with a reference that reflected the fact that this was one very bad mistake rather than a pattern*, Thomas was promoted to a position of direct authority over Jimmy. Although Jimmy was bribed into not making a fuss about this rather than, say, threatened, I think he has nonetheless been given a fairly clear message from his employers that they will back the senior coworker who assaulted him against any potential consequence he might try to bring. From Jimmy’s point of view, which is admittedly blinkered by fear and self interest, Thomas is the one in the secure, powerful position and Jimmy is the one extremely vulnerable.

I don't even just mean from his point of view like, ~emotionally. Genuine question: what would happen if Thomas started being overly touchy-feely again, or did worse than that, and Jimmy went to Mr. Carson or Mrs. Hughes or Lord Grantham to report it? I really don't know, and neither does Jimmy. Personally, I'm guessing that whether they believed him would probably depend significantly on things like Jimmy’s demeanor, and exactly what words he used, and basically whether he came across as a victim or as a brat trying to get someone in trouble. And which of those things a person seems like has no particular correlation to the facts of what they’re reporting - as we can see from what happened the first time! Like, Jimmy came off as spiteful and nasty and instead of being fired Thomas was promoted. That is actually what happened! The fact that Jimmy's motives were mixed doesn't change the fact of what Thomas did: Jimmy, when evaluating his safety, has access to one really strong datapoint and that’s that last time the majority of his superiors came down on Thomas’s side, either from the beginning or by the end.

Now, it’s true that he’s had a year to observe Thomas’s behavior and make an educated guess that Thomas really is sorry and won’t do it again. We can only speculate as to what extent he may have reached that conclusion and why he has or hasn’t. Some possible reasons why he might not have: trauma blinkers, homophobic and sexist beliefs, sufficiently bad at reading people to not know what clues to even look for, too self-centered to bother thinking about it in those terms... we don’t know. And perhaps he does know perfectly well that Thomas won't do anything like that again and any lingering fear is of cooties or of people mistaking him for gay and him being in the line of fire along with Thomas next time! You can read him that way if you want. You can say “wtf I see no fear of any kind”. It’s a flexible canon and none of these interpretations are actually contradicted by the text. Indeed I happily read other interpretations and when I babbled in those tags it was more "this is the interpretation I am thinking about right now" than intended to assert it as my One True Headcanon that I will not deviate from. But Jimmy definitely has reasons to be afraid, and of more than cooties.

Of course Thomas also has logical and emotional reasons to be afraid of what Jimmy might do, I'm certainly not denying that. (In fact, one of the things I find so compelling about these two is that they both have such strong reasons not to trust each other and they both reach out anyway.) It seems that Thomas’s belief in who Jimmy is as a person supersedes those reasons (“He wouldn’t be so unkind. Not on his own.”) but if Jimmy has a similar belief about who Thomas he keeps it hidden at least until the fair.

P.S. please reconsider the phrase “has the right to be scared” in every context but especially when discussing someone’s reaction to a situation that involved them being sexually assaulted. I offer you the alternative “logical reason to be scared” or "compelling reason" as perhaps capturing what I hope you meant. I think that’s a language choice that really does matter a fair bit.

#*the reference thing is tricky to think about because on the one hand I don't think it would be out of line (ethically #it would definitely be out of line from a propriety standpoint)#for Jimmy to want to know that the incident was affecting Thomas's reference in some way #but I also don't actually know enough about service and references to know how much room for middle ground there was #like if the reference says 'efficient worker but has made other staff uncomfortable in the past' or some other euphemism what does that mea #was that the sort of thing reference writers did ever?#but I don't think Jimmy actually cared about this #so I guess it's moot #the storyline that shall not be named

12 notes · View notes

todorokibois · 4 years

Text

Treat You Better - Shoto Todoroki X Reader

Song Fic - Based off of Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes (Which I normally would link but Tumblr’s being Shittyblr again and won’t show up in the tags if there’s a link 🙃)

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Shoto X Reader ft. Touya Todoroki (aka Dabi)

Words: 1,384

A/n: On this blog we love and support the Todoroki boys. Dabi is Touya, fite mii :) Anyways, my first post on this blog, just something I thought up today as I was listening to this song. Let me know what you think, I hope you all enjoy!

P.S. You can find more of my writing for K-Pop over on @mint-yooxgi

There are three things Shoto knows now.

One, the moment he learned that you started dating his brother, a part of him had felt like it had died inside; A feeling of emptiness filled him. A feeling of longing that he couldn’t quite explain at first, no matter how hard he tried.

Two, he’s positive his brother doesn’t actually care about you.

At first, maybe he did, given how happy the two of you looked together. However, as of late, he’s just not so sure. There have been too many times he’s come back home to hear your muffled sobs echoing through the walls, his brother nowhere to be found. He’s always the one who ends up going to comfort you for his brother’s mistakes.

And three, he is completely, and utterly, in love with you.

He doesn’t know how, or when, it happened exactly, but he remembers the night he realized it like it was yesterday. Oh wait, it was.

You had come back home shortly after nine in the evening, causing his head to dart up from the article he had been reading on his laptop. He found it strange that Touya wasn’t with you, considering the three of you live together in a shared apartment, but given the circumstances as of late, he wasn’t that surprised.

“I thought the two of you were going out for dinner?” He asks, brow furrowing in slight confusion.

You let out a sad sigh, “I had thought so, too.”

“What happened?” His voice is soft as he shuts the laptop, noticing how you kick off your shoes dejectedly.

“I-“ your breath hitches slightly, “I don’t know.”

Concern is written all over his features as he stands up and walks over to you, whom has not moved from your spot in the entranceway. You look at your feet, refusing to meet his gaze as he guides you to sit down on the couch. He can feel his heart physically pang in his chest as he watches the first of your tears slide down your cheek.

“We were supposed to go out for dinner tonight,” you manage to get out, and he nods, waiting for you to continue. “Since our anniversary is coming up al all.” Of course, how could he forget. “We agreed not to do anything too fancy, just a quiet dinner at our favourite restaurant. I waited two hours for him to show up. Two hours-“ you choke on a sob, “did he even care at all?”

Shoto doesn’t know how to answer you, because he’s not too sure himself. All he can do is grit his teeth in frustration at his brother for treating you like this, yet again. He decides wrapping you in his arms is a start, and pulls you into his chest for comfort, letting you sob, and get it all out of your system.

“That’s not even the worst part,” you admit, and you don’t register his hand gripping your shirt tighter. “Remember how my birthday was last week?”

“Of course,” he says, having a feeling he already knows where this is going, “how could I forget?”

You scoff, pulling away so you can wipe your eyes briefly, “well, apparently Dabi can.”

Shoto’s eyes widen slightly. You only ever use his brother’s nickname when you’re really upset. Although, he definitely doesn’t blame you. He always knew his brother was an asshole, but forgetting your birthday?

That’s not even the best part. Besides not getting you a gift, and only giving you a half-assed apology, there have been other instances where Touya hasn’t been treating you like he should. Or at least, as well as Shoto knows you should be treated. How he would treat you, if only given the chance. He would give you the world, and everything in it, if you asked him to.

By now, this entire situation is getting ridiculous to him. The more he listens to you rant about the neglect his brother has been giving you recently, the more upset he gets for you. So much so, that by the time you’ve finished talking, his jaw hurts from clenching it so hard in anger.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” slips out before he can even process the words leaving his lips.

This causes you to laugh slightly, “yeah, tell him that.”

“Then why do you still stay with him?” He frowns. “You deserve better.”

“I know,” you sigh, your tears having stopped momentarily as you avoid his gaze, “but you have to understand, I love him, Shoto.”

He doesn’t think he’s ever a felt pain in his chest like this before as he hears you utter those words. A pain that starts from inside his heart and radiates outwards, spreading like a wildfire as it suffocates him from the inside out.

He wants to scream. To yell at his brother for treating you this way. To tell you that he’s right here, and that he will always be right here for you. You’re everything to him, but he’s too late. You’re not his, you’re his brother’s. He stays silent, a torrent of emotions swirling in his eyes.

The both of you are interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing. You can hear your name being called faintly from the entranceway, so you quickly wipe away the rest of your tears and stand up. You notice the concerned glance Shoto sends your way, so you opt to send him a small reassuring smile in return. You’ll be okay, or at least that’s what you keep telling yourself.

“I’m here,” you call back, heading over to greet Touya as he walks in.

“I’m so sorry, babe, we got held up at work tonight,” he says, wrapping his arms around your waist and staring into your eyes. “I tried to call you, but you weren’t answering your phone.”

Sure enough, you had turned it off after leaving the restaurant, not wanting to be disturbed on your way home. You nod your head in understanding, and Shoto knows you’re too understanding for your own good.

“It’s alright,” you say, faking a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “You’re here now, aren’t you?”

“That I am,” Touya hums, placing a gentle kiss onto your forehead. “How about we go out for lunch tomorrow instead? I know it won’t make up for tonight, but I have the day off.”

“Okay,” you nod your agreement, before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and heading off to your room for the night. After the evening you’ve had, you’re exhausted, wanting nothing more than to curl up and sleep.

The whole time, you fail to notice Shoto now visibly shaking with anger, now standing just in front of the couch, but his brother does. A smirk crosses Touya’s face as he sees his little brother fuming, brow quirking in amusement.

“What’s the matter, Shoto?” He hums, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he leans against the wall.

“Nothing,” Shoto hisses, hands balling into fists at his sides. How you can so easily forgive his brother for how he’s been treating you makes his blood boil. He doesn’t deserve you.

“Well, if that’s all,” Touya says, pushing off of the wall and heading in the same direction you went off in down the hall. “Goodnight, Shoto.”

Shoto watches his brother disappear down the hallway, jaw clenched in frustration. The fire burning in his eyes slowly dies out as he sits back down on the couch, head now resting in his hands as he lets out a sigh.

He loves you, and he wants you. He wants to know what it’s like to hold your hand, to see you smile just for him. He wants to know how it would feel to kiss you, to wake up beside you every morning with a smile on both of your faces. To be able to hold you when you cry, and celebrate your successes. To take you out to dinner and not have you wait two hours for him, and him having to apologize with some half-assed excuse later that evening.

He loves you, he knows that now, but it looks like his brother does, too.

#bnha x reader #bnha scenario #bnha scenarios #bnha x you #todoroki x reader #todoroki x you #todoroki shoto fluff #shouto x reader #shoto x reader #shoto x you #bnha imagines #my hero imagines #my hero academy fanfiction #mha x you #mha x reader #angst #bnha angst

153 notes · View notes

hookedonapirate · 3 years

Text

Summary: The Jones brothers are polar opposites. Liam's the safe and honorable one, straight-laced and straight as an arrow. The good son.

Killian's the dangerous one, the bad boy with tats, leather jackets, a motorcycle and a questionable past.

The only things they have in common are panty-melting sea-blue eyes, the flat they share in Storybrooke and a rare blood type.

Oh, and apparently their taste in women.

Or rather, one woman.

Feisty.

Blonde.

Gorgeous.

Green-eyed Goddess.

Killian saw her first, but she chose his brother—the nice guy over the playboy. And even though she’s dating his brother, it doesn't make him want her any less. If that's not bad enough, she moves in with them and he has to pretend he's not completely in love with her. His life could not get any worse…

Until Liam dies in a tragic motorcycle accident.

Leaving each of them with one half of a broken heart.

Now Killian and Emma are left helping each other pick up the pieces.

Just as they're beginning to learn how to live in their new reality, another riptide pulls them further into the deep end when she finds out she's pregnant with Liam's baby.

Notes: So I made this post on Tumblr the other day, and then this fic happened. If you haven't seen the tags, please read them before starting this story or becoming invested because it’s very angsty. First of all, this starts out as Swan Jewel? I don't know what their ship name is or if there is an official name, but yes, Liam and Emma are in a relationship in the beginning, and I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. If you're not comfortable with that, I highly encourage you to hit the back button.

Thank you @ultraluckycatnd for looking it over!

This story was inspired by Baby Mine by Kennedy Fox, and I loved the book so much and thought it was very much underrated. I’ve wanted to write a fic like this for a long time now because it’s one of my favorite tropes, but after I read that book, I just had to write my own take. Also, I made this post about a Baby Yodarita drink last year when it was trending and since the beginning of this story starts one year prior, 2019 and since Killian is a bartender, it was a perfect way to include the prompt.

The title comes from the lyrics of the song, Lay By Me by Ruben. The particular line goes like this:

"I hope you know through the rising tide That I'll be here and you can lay by my side"

If you've never heard it, I recommend giving it a listen. It's an amazing song and very fitting for this story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFJbLzEtoZw

P.S. In case you're unable to read the shoulder tattoo in the picture above and are wondering what it says—

"There is no happiness without tears

No life without death

And no true love without heartbreak"

Rated: Explicit for smut (including sexual fantasies, masturbation, implied and detailed sex, etc.) and language (lots of F-bombs).

Also available on: AO3 FF.N

Chapter 1

“Late again?” Liam chides when Ruby waltzes into work as if everything is completely normal. As if she’s not an hour late for her shift.

For the third time that week.

She gives him an apologetic smile, but Killian knows she’s not actually sorry.

He’s just wondering who she was with this time.

“Won't happen again, boss.”

“Damn right it won’t. This is your third warning. Next time, there will be a write-up,” he admonishes.

Frustration creases her forehead. “Geez, would you just chill? My car broke down.”

Liam crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes at her. “So, you mean to tell me your car has broken down three times this week?” he asks, holding up three fingers. “And on either of these occasions, you couldn’t pick up the phone and give me a heads up? Did your phone break, too?”

She flashes him a look as though the answer to his question is obvious. “I told you my car’s a piece of junk. And I tried to call, but no one answered.”

Killian fights off a laugh, knowing for a fact Ruby is bluffing. At least about calling tonight, since the phone hadn’t rung in the past hour. But he could easily check to see if she’d called on the other two days on the bar phone’s caller i.d. to find out for sure if he really wanted to.

“So get a new car. Don’t you make enough from your tips and the hourly wage I pay you?”

“I make enough from my tips,” she replies with a sarcastic smirk, “but I have more important things to buy.”

Liam rolls his eyes. “Like what? More six-inch heels, low-cut tops and short skirts?”

Ruby lets out an exasperated sigh. “How do you think I get good tips—by dressing like a Catholic schoolgirl?” She twists her lips and presses the back of her long, red-painted fingernail to her chin, pondering her own words for a second. “On second thought, that actually might bring in even more tips. Besides, you should be paying for my work clothes. Maybe then I could afford a new car.”

Liam scoffs. “You want me to pay for your outfits?” He shakes his head. “I don’t think so.”

Ruby's eyes widen, as though she’s shocked he declined her request. “Why not? Can’t you claim them as a work expense?”

He nods. “Alright, fine. But if I’m paying for your work attire, then I’m choosing what you wear. Sound good to you?” he asks, knowing damn well she’ll never go for it.

Unsurprisingly, she shakes her head. “Absolutely not. I ain’t wearing no damn polo shirt and black slacks. I like my low-cut tops and short skirts, thank you very much.”

Liam sighs and cups his forehead in his hand to indicate she’s giving him a headache as he turns around and walks toward his office. “Just get to work, Ruby.”

She wraps her apron around her waist and mimics his words in a mocking tone, “Just get to work, Ruby.”

“I heard that!” Liam hollers.

“I could be already serving customers if it weren’t for my pain in the ass boss riding me every two goddamn seconds!” she shouts, hoping he heard that too.

Killian chuckles to himself as he rings up a customer for his drinks and hands him the change.

“That dude seriously needs to get laid,” Ruby huffs. “Maybe then he’d back off a little.”

“Ha! I doubt it,” Killian comments before taking another drink order.

Ruby heads to the dining area to wait on customers. She knows Killian’s not wrong to doubt Liam’s ability to show a little mercy. He’s worked for his brother for two years, longer than anyone has ever been able to stand working for him, and he’s never once seen Liam be lenient, not even to his own brother. He runs a tight ship, and Killian doesn’t see that ever changing. Liam has owned this bar for five years and takes his job very seriously.

Killian’s just glad he only has to work here for another six months. Or at least that’s the plan. He’s about to graduate from Storybrooke University and get his degree in engineering. As much as he enjoys working for his brother, or rather listening to his coworkers complain about his brother behind Liam’s back, he doesn’t plan on spending his entire life making drinks.

Liam emerges from his office an hour later and announces he has to take off for a while to run some errands. Killian’s confused because this is Liam’s night to manage the bar. He dedicates the majority of his other time performing administrative tasks during the week.

“What errands do you have to run on a Friday night?” Killian asks, his words laced with suspicion.

“Just some errands I promised someone I’d take care of. You’re in charge while I’m gone.” He pulls on his jacket and leaves Killian behind the bar with a confused expression on his face, wondering what his brother is up to.

Killian brushes off the thought, deciding to further question him later.

Liam heads out the door, but not before scolding Ruby for sitting down at a table full of rowdy men, chatting (and not about the menu). She may be into women, but she flirts with customers regardless of their gender for the tips.

Ruby curses under her breath and gets up, moving to her next table to jot down orders.

~*~

Emma sighs as Mary Margaret grabs her hand and pulls her into The Captain's Rum. Or more like, drags her in kicking and screaming. She doesn’t wish to be at this bar any more than she wanted to be at the last two. But her sister-in-law insists on the outlandish idea Emma’s going to find Mr. Perfect tonight. Or somehow get over her asshole of an ex-boyfriend after one night of drinking.

And even though it's been two months since she left Neal and his thieving and cheating ass, and as much as she wants to get over him, Emma knows it’s not gonna happen for a while. At least not tonight.

And yet, here she is.

One night of drinking can’t hurt, she supposes. One night of forgetting everything. Of numbing her pain. Or so she keeps telling herself, but that could be the alcohol she’s already imbibed at the other two bars speaking.

“So, how’s it going tonight, Rubes?” Mary Margaret asks the cocktail server once they’re seated at a booth.

Apparently, they know each other.

“Well, no one's tried to manhandle me yet, so it's a start.” The tall brunette with red streaks in her hair leans over the table and murmurs, “Not a great start, but it's a start.”

Mary Margaret rolls her eyes and laughs as she gestures at Emma. “Rubes, this is my sister-in-law, Emma. She just moved here from New York.”

Looking at Emma, Ruby grins and sticks out her hand. “Hi! Nice to meet you!”

Emma gives her a polite smile and shakes her hand. “Likewise.”

When Ruby brings the chips and cheese Mary Margaret ordered, she places them on the table along with two empty plates. Before arriving here, Mary Margaret decided they would put some food in their bellies before they added more alcohol so they wouldn't get too drunk too fast and have to head home early. Well, that was Mary Margaret’s idea at least. Emma would much rather be home in the comfort of her bedroom watching Netflix. Or rather, her brother’s and sister-in-law's guestroom they so graciously let her sleep in until she gets her own place.

“Enjoy, ladies.”

“Sure will,” Mary Margaret beams as Ruby leaves their table. She sips on some water as she scans the bar. Probably for potential suitors she can hook her sister-in-law up with, Emma surmises. “What about him? He's cute,” Mary Margaret remarks, her eyes trained on someone behind her.

Emma looks over her shoulder and arches a brow. “He’s cute if you’re sixteen. He looks way too young.”

“Well, he’s drinking, so he must be at least twenty-one,” Mary Margaret points out.

“He looks sixteen, and sorry, I don’t date children.”

“Emma, he’s not a child, probably a college student. And you act like you’re so old just because you already graduated. You’re twenty-two,” Mary Margaret points out like she’s jealous and wishes to be so young again. But she's only a few years older—the same age as David.

Emma groans. “No, thanks.” Her last boyfriend was immature enough as it was, and he was ten years her senior. “So, tell me, how are you and my brother getting along?” Emma asks, attempting to change the subject and get her sister-in-law to avert her attention from the college boys across the room. “Sick of each other yet?”

Mary Margaret whips her head around and scowls. “Of course not. Why would you ask such a thing?”

Emma laughs and raises her hands in defense. “Because I knew it was the only thing that would get your attention.”

Guilt and apology flicker in Mary Margaret’s eyes. “Sorry, Emma.” She lays her palms on the table. “David and I are just worried about you, that’s all.”

Emma sighs, frustration creasing her forehead. “I’m fine, I promise. Neal was an ass, and honestly, him cheating on me was a good thing. I needed the wake-up call, okay? I was blinded by love. But now that we're over, I can move on with my life. That’s why I let you talk me into bar hopping.”

A slow, hopeful smile spreads across her lips. “I know, and I’m so happy you got out of that relationship, Emma. David and I both are.”

Emma laughs. “I know. When I landed on your door stoop, we both had to stop him from driving all the way to New York to kick Neal's ass.”

Mary Margaret nods. “True. He’s very protective of you.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “I know. It’s both a blessing and a curse.” She takes a sip of water as she scans the bar. It’s the first time she’s been to The Captain's Rum, and everyone is so unfamiliar to her. New York is a huge place, especially compared to Storybrooke, but in this bar, it feels like she‘s back in New York. She swears everyone in Storybrooke is here.

Ruby returns to their table to sit and chat. And steal some of their chips, double-dipping them in the cheese. Emma fights off the urge to laugh at this as her eyes wander past Ruby’s shoulder.

Huge mistake.

The group at the bar counter disperses, revealing the most gorgeous sight she's ever seen.

Holy. Fucking. Hell.

She loses a breath when she sees what she can only describe as a fine specimen.

Good Lord.

Handsome features and such a delicious smile to accompany his perfect face as he chats with a male patron at the bar, she finds herself licking her lips.

“What about him?” Emma manages when she’s able to find the words in her throat.

Mary Margaret’s eyes light up before she even looks to see who Emma is staring so unabashedly at. “Who?!” She and Ruby both turn their heads, their eyes following the path of Emma’s gaze until they land on the target.

“You mean the bartender?” Mary Margaret asks, though, to Emma’s surprise, she doesn’t seem very excited; more like disappointed.

Emma tears her gaze away from the bartender, as much as she doesn’t want to. But she couldn’t breathe when she looked at him and she needed to come up for air. “Yeah, why not?”

“Why not what?” Ruby asks as she looks at Emma, curiosity flashing in her big hazel eyes. “Because if you’re asking ‘why not jump his bones,’ then I can’t think of one good reason.”

“Ruby, don’t encourage her,” Mary Margaret chides with a glare.

Ruby frowns, confusion etched in her features. “Why not?”

“Because… Killian is a player. Emma just broke up with her player of a boyfriend a couple of months ago. She doesn't need another one in her life.”

“Um, excuse me, I’m right here,” Emma groans wryly. “And I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions.”

“She’s not wrong though,” Ruby remarks. “He is a player. But a fucking hot player. Between the two of us, we’ve conquered all the women of Storybrooke.”

Emma lifts a brow. “Does that mean what I think it means?”

“Yep. Probably even some of the same women,” she winks, her words bearing no shame or remorse.

“Ruby, would you stop? Besides, neither of you have conquered me,” Mary Margaret points out with air quotes.

Ruby rolls her eyes. “Of course not. Prince Charming had already parked his car in your garage long ago.” She reverts her eyes to Emma. “If you’re looking for a relationship, he’s definitely not for you…” she leans over toward Emma, speaking softly, “but if you’re looking for a hookup to get over that cheating ex of yours, then he’s absolutely perfect for that. He’ll give you an orgasm sooooo hard, you’ll forget all about that scumbag. Then he’ll do it over and over again until he knows you won’t be able to walk for weeks.” Ruby grins wide. “Hell, you’ll forget your own fucking name for weeks.”

Emma gulps, having to recover from the images Ruby implanted in her mind of the man on the other side of the bar. Once she recovers, she furrows her brows at the conclusions she’s drawn from Ruby’s graphic depictions of what a night with the handsome, dark-haired bartender would be like. “How would you know? Have you two—”

Ruby laughs as though Emma just said the funniest thing she’s ever heard in her life. “Oh Gaaaaawwwwd, no! I don’t swing that way, honey,” she says, rising and waving off Emma’s words with a flick of her hand. “But I’ve seen the number Killian’s done on his conquests. People talk, especially the drunk, horny females who enter the bar. Plus, as I said, he’s my competition, so I have to know what he's working with… if you know what I mean,” she says with a wink.

“Yeah, I got it,” Emma groans as Ruby saunters away. Why do all the hot guys have to be players?

It’s just her luck.

Emma turns to catch another look at him.

God, he’s gorgeous.

Dark, wild hair, stubble on his chin and cheeks, and a fantastic body based on what she can see from her vantage point.

“Emma! Don’t even think about it! That man’s trouble and you know David would never approve,” Mary Margaret explains, pulling Emma from her trance.

She turns her head, glaring at her sister-in-law. “David is not my father. And besides, I’m a grown-ass woman! He can’t tell me who I can or cannot date.”

Mary Margaret gives her a motherly look. “I know, sweetie, but this man doesn’t date women, he fucks them and then sends them packing. David only wants to protect you from guys like him.”

“I don’t need his protection, okay? Or yours. I’m perfectly capable of looking out for myself.” Emma stands from her seat, and she’s not sure if it’s because of the alcohol still brewing in her system, or because her sister-law has expressed disapproval from both her and David, making this man seem like a forbidden, sinful dessert she’s dying to get a taste of, even though she’ll pay for it later. But right now she doesn't give a fuck.

She sucks in a breath and strides across the bar, ignoring Mary Margaret’s pleas and warnings.

Her eyes are fixed on him like a magnet. He’s wearing a black v-neck that fits him like a glove and shows off a provocative amount of chest hair, his tight, firm muscles bulging as he wipes down the bar counter. His muscles aren’t inhumanly large, just big enough for her to imagine him picking her up and easily carrying her to his bedroom like she weighs nothing. Emma can feel her panties grow wet just from watching him work.

But even though she doesn’t wish to be told who to be with, she knows she should heed her sister-in-law’s warnings.

What would one night of fun hurt, though? She’s spent too much time holed up in her New York apartment, wallowing in self-pity and heartache after Neal hurt her. She hasn’t been with anyone since then. And maybe she’s not looking to dive into a serious relationship right now. Or ever. Maybe she just wants to blow off some steam. And this man looks like he can handle such a task. She’s more than willing to find out.

Emma approaches the bar and stands in front of him, placing her hands on the counter.

“What can I get you, lass?”

Well, fuck me sideways.

He has a British accent too?

She knows she should run for her life, but before she can talk herself out of it, he looks up from his task, and she feels like her feet are glued to the floor.

Ho-ly hell.

He’s even more gorgeous up close.

His arms are inked with tattoos she so badly wants to trace with her fingers, and his striking blue eyes sparkle as he stares at her, his smile showing off a set of pearly white teeth.

Well shit.

She couldn’t run away if she wanted to.

~*~

Killian had been running back and forth behind the bar for hours, ringing up bar patrons, making drinks and engaging in small talk. It’s a typical Friday night at The Captain’s Rum; the place is normally busy on the weekends, especially since the bar is only a stone’s throw away from the university, and tonight is no exception. It’s crowded and loud, couples are dancing, and the women are scantily clad in either tiny dresses or short tops and skirts. As he’s grabbing beers and making cocktails, the bar continues to fill and grow louder.

He hands off drinks to a couple before moving on to the next customer.

“Hey Jones, can I get two Blue Ribbons?” his good mate, Robin, calls over the blaring music.

Killian chuckles and grabs the desired beers, popping off the caps before handing them over. “Taking it easy tonight?” he asks, leaning against the counter and gripping the edge of it with both hands.

“Aye. Regina doesn’t like the hard stuff. She’s more of a wine person.”

“Ah, I see.” Killian nods; he can definitely see that about Regina. He doesn't want to say this to one of his best mates, but the lass can be a little stuck up and quite bossy at times. She makes Robin happy though, so he keeps his mouth shut.

He chats with him for a few minutes, finally getting a few minutes of reprieve. As Robin heads back to his girlfriend, Killian takes the opportunity to wipe down the bar top. But before he’s finished, someone approaches the counter. His eyes are still trained on his task, but he can’t miss the long blonde hair, pink lace and fantastic cleavage, seeing as the view is directly in front of him. “What can I get you, lass?” he asks, throwing on his most charming grin as he lifts his head.

His smile is cemented on his face the second he looks up.

Killian’s accustomed to seeing pretty women entering his brother’s bar and parading around in clothes that barely cover their essential parts.

Yet nothing in the world could’ve prepared him for the woman standing in front of him on the other side of the bar counter.

No, not woman.

Goddess.

Emerald green eyes, soft pink lips curved into a shy smile, smooth creamy skin, long golden hair cascading over her shoulders.

Good.

God.

She’s breathtaking.

Stunning.

“What would you recommend?” she asks in a teasing tone.

Fuck.

Her voice is that of an angel’s. Pure and sweet and innocent.

She looks like everything he doesn’t deserve but wants every... fucking... part of.

“Uh… I um…” he stutters, scratching nervously behind his ear. He can’t form a cohesive sentence as he looks into those hypnotizing eyes. He wants to get lost in them, drown in them. “What are you… what are you in the mood for, love?” he finally musters, adding another one of his signature grins. “I can make you anything your heart desires.” What he wants to say is, “I can give you anything your heart desires,” but even that may not be true. As gorgeous as she is, he’s afraid he wouldn’t be the man she deserves. He’s never been the guy women like to take home to their parents, anyway. He’s the guy chicks like to have around for a good time before they eventually settle into a serious relationship with Mr. Perfect. He’s definitely no Mr. Perfect, more like a Good Luck Chuck, but at the moment, he feels like he could be fucking Superman for this woman. And he's only exchanged a few words with her so far.

She arches a brow and it’s literally the most adorable and sexiest thing he’s ever witnessed in his life. “Anything?” He senses a challenge in her tone.

“Try me,” he encourages.

She bites her bottom lip in thought.

He lied. Now that’s the most adorable and sexiest thing he’s ever witnessed.

“What if I said I wanted a Baby Yodarita?”

He arches a brow, very much intrigued. “A Baby Yodarita? Never heard of it.”

She laughs and the sound is music to his ears. “That's because I made up the name. But I figure it would be a green drink that looks like baby Yoda.”

“So, I take it you’re a Star Wars fan?”

“Are you a bartender?”

Just as he answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, since he’s behind the bar serving drinks, he catches her drift and flashes a smirk.

Could this woman be any hotter? And yes, as he’s asking this question in his head, he’s picturing Chandler Bing and the way he would say it, emphasizing the word be. Gods, he hates that he knows that about Friends. He hates that he actually likes that show.

“You don't really have to be a Star Wars fan to be a baby Yoda fan though. He's so cute, he's trending on the internet, haven't you seen?”

He chuckles. “Aye, who hasn't?”

She plants her hand on her hip, donning a sultry smirk. “So, are you up for the task, or not?”

He licks his lips and leans over the bar counter, his eyes locked with hers. He wants to ask her if she fell from heaven. Or if he just died and went to heaven. But he has a feeling cheesy lines wouldn't work on a woman like her. “I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific as to what task you’re referring to, love.” But who the fuck is he kidding? There is nothing he could do for her he would consider a task.

Only a pleasure.

Blush paints her cheeks and she leans over, meeting him halfway until her face is mere inches from his. “I have a few in mind… but how ‘bout that drink, first?”

Bloody. Fuck-ing. Hell.

Her voice is a mixture of sweet and seductive. He doesn’t know how she manages to pull off a combination like that. His eyes drop to her lips and he’s seriously considering kissing the holy fuck out of her over the bar counter, audience be damned. He almost groans just thinking about her soft, luscious looking lips pressed against his, but he swallows the sound before it leaves his throat.

He lifts his eyes to hers. “Sit tight, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” she says with a smile and takes a seat on a barstool. “Oh, and a Cosmo for my sister-in-law.”

“Coming right up.” It takes every ounce of strength within him to pull away, but somehow he does.

He has to take slow, deep breaths to peel his mind from the fantasies he’s already having of him and the blonde temptress watching him intently as he prepares her drink.

~*~

Emma snorts. She honestly didn’t think he would actually take her seriously. She was only kidding around. But he took her very seriously and eagerly accepted her challenge. And he did an amazing job.

She stares at the green drink in amusement, impressed, to say the least. He brought it to her in a margarita glass with two lime wedges sticking out like ears. The stem is wrapped in a napkin tied with twine and clearly made to look like Baby Yoda’s coat. And there's a cocktail stick tucked into the twine like a sword.

“Well? How did I do?” he asks, eagerly seeking her answer.

“It's so cute,” she comments honestly. “It looks great, but does it taste as good as it looks?” As she asks that question, she’s looking up into his gorgeous eyes. And she can’t deny she’s wondering the same about him.

Does he taste as good as he looks?

Before she brings the glass to her lips, he puts up a finger to stop her.

“Hold on.” He grabs a toothpick and stabs two cherries, one on each end, before sticking it into the drink, giving the baby Yoda a pair of eyes. “For the finishing touch,” he smirks.

After she stops laughing, she takes a hesitant drink. Once she takes the first sip, her face sours and she blinks a few times as she swallows. “Wow, that’s strong.” She arches her brow, pinning him with an accusatory stare. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

He chuckles. “Aye, isn't that the intention?”

She nods and grins. “This will certainly do the trick.” She rises from the stool and reaches into her back pocket, pulling out her phone case wallet, which holds her phone and money. “How much?” she asks, pulling out some cash.

He waves off her offer. “The drinks are on me,” he says with a wink.

“Are you sure? I don't wanna get you in trouble.”

“Trust me, I won't get in trouble.”

Taking his word for it, she tucks the cash into her wallet. “Thanks for the drinks, Killian.”

He arches a sultry brow, making her heart skip a beat. “So, you’ve heard of me, but I have yet to learn your name?”

She laughs and points at the name embroidered into his shirt. “Yours is right there.”

“Oh, that,” he chuckles, a light blush tinting his cheeks as he peers down and brushes his fingers over the letters. “My boss insists we have our names displayed on our shirts.”

“Well, your boss sounds like a pain in the ass.”

“He is, but I only have to work here for another six months. I’m graduating from SBU in the Spring.”

She nods as a group of people approach the counter beside her. She glances over at them and shifts her gaze back to him, wishing he had more time to chat, but she knows he has to work. “It's Emma,” she makes sure to tell him before the counter becomes too overcrowded. “My name,” she clarifies, in case that wasn't obvious.

“It’s nice to meet you, Emma,” he says sweetly, reaching over to shake her hand. When she slips her palm into his, she can feel the sparks from his touch, but instead of shaking her hand, he brings it to his lips and kisses the back of it.

Oh, God.

This man’s lips on her skin feel like heaven and sin. She has to clench her thighs to stop the throbbing she feels between her legs.

Fuck.

She feels the loss when she pulls her hand away and sees the loss written all over his face. “Well, I should um… I should get back to my sister-in-law,” she stammers after learning how to form words again.

He scratches behind his ear and opens his mouth to speak before closing it again like he’s nervous about something. “Of course, love.”

Emma swallows thickly and lingers a bit, patiently waiting for him to say what’s on his mind.

He must sense she's waiting for him because as she grabs the drinks and starts to back away from the counter, his voice stops her. “Emma?”

Good Lord, she loves the way her name slides off his tongue.

She cocks a brow, hoping he's about to ask for her number. Praying he does. “Yes?”

“I um… can you come back here before you leave? Say in an hour when it slows down a bit? I’d love to chat with you some more,” he says sincerely.

Emma purses her lips like she has to mull over his question. The offer is extremely tempting. But she has something else in mind other than talking. Something involving his hands all over her body and her legs wrapped around his hips as he's plunging into her.

And you know what? Fuck it.

She’s sure whatever he has in mind is exactly what she has in mind. Or at least, close to it. “Sure.”

His eyes widen in excitement and surprise, as though he wasn't actually expecting her to say yes. “Really?”

She flashes him her sexiest grin. “Yeah, why not? I’ll see you in an hour.”

“See you then, love. Enjoy your drink. May the booze be with you.”

She snorts and backs away from the counter, holding up her glass in salute before taking a sip. Their eyes are still locked before she turns around.

As she walks away, she cranes her neck to see him still watching her, even as he's serving other customers. She winks at him and has the pleasure of witnessing that adorable pink blush coloring his cheeks and the smirk on his lips before she faces forward and heads back to Mary Margaret.

She’s not looking forward to the lecture her sister-in-law is about to give her, but honestly, she doesn't care. She's looking forward to returning to the hot bartender, hoping to go back to his bedroom. Or the restroom. Either will do, really. As long as she gets to have him.

After Mary Margaret is done chewing Emma out and reminding her of what a player Killian is, and after she finally realizes Emma is going to do what she wants, regardless of what anyone says, they are able to have some fun.

Ruby keeps the drinks coming, and soon they’re tipsy enough to get up and dance among the crowd of gyrating bodies already on the dance floor. Emma glances over at the counter every now and then, and every other time, she catches Killian staring at her, sending shivers down her spine. And every time he tosses her one of his cheeky smiles, her stomach flutters with butterflies.

Emma's thankful Mary Margaret is plastered enough to let loose and not give her any shit because she has no idea what Mary Margaret would do if Emma told her she's going back to talk to Killian. Though she has a feeling if Mary Margaret were sober, she'd do anything in her power to make sure Emma stayed away from him.

When the time finally comes, they order an Uber, which takes much longer than expected. She helps Mary Margaret into the backseat and tells her she's staying for a bit longer and will catch another Uber when she's ready to leave. She doesn't dare mention Killian's name, or that she plans on leaving with him, for fear Mary Margaret will blabber to her brother. Because then he'll come marching into the bar on his white horse to find his sister with the bartender and embarrass the hell out of her.

Mary Margaret's too drunk and in no shape to talk her out of anything, so Emma’s able to escape, knowing her brother will take care of his wife when she gets home.

Emma quickly shoots David a text to let him know his wife had a few too many drinks and is on her way home in an Uber and that Emma decided to stay a little longer but will be home soon. Which is a lie.

She hopes.

Before the Uber drives away, Emma slips her phone into her pocket before heading back into the bar. She's fifteen minutes late, but it's not like Killian can go anywhere. He’s the bartender.

Once inside, she takes a deep breath and tucks some hair behind her ears, a smile playing along her lips as she makes her way to the bar counter. She has no idea what exactly will happen once she reaches him, but with a face as gorgeous as his, she’s pretty sure she would let him do anything he wanted to.

She’s also pretty sure he could help Emma get over her ex. As they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. And that’s exactly what she plans on doing.

As Emma nears the counter and spots Killian, the beaming smile on her face immediately falls flat.

And her heart sinks.

A busty blonde is standing at the bar, her hand running up and down Killian’s arm, her fingers tracing his tattoos. The woman is sitting on a barstool at the opposite side of the counter in a low-cut top that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination, and a skirt so short and tight it looks like it's been painted on. Killian’s standing in front of her, so his back is to Emma as he gives his full attention to the other blonde. It's almost time for last call, so it's now much quieter in the bar, and she's close enough to be able to hear their conversation.

“What can I get you, love?”

“A Tequila.”

“Tequilas are trouble,” he says matter-of-factly.

She moves in closer, biting her smile. “So am I,” she taunts.

“I’m fully aware,” he replies with a chuckle. He tries to move, probably to make her Tequila, but she grabs his arm, forcing him to stay. Though, forcing is a bit of an overstatement; Killian doesn't seem to be putting up much of a fight. “Would you like a snack, too?”

Mischief dances in her eyes as she licks her lips, ogling him like he’s the snack. “I’m looking at it, honey.”

Emma feels like she's going to be sick.

The woman leans in and bites his ear and then pulls away slightly. “Last weekend was incredible. Can’t stop thinking about having my legs wrapped around you,” she giggles.

Jealousy stabs Emma’s gut and disappointment shoots through her like a lightning bolt, bringing her back to reality.

Mary Margaret and Ruby were totally right.

He’s a player.

Unable to listen to them for another second, Emma spins on her heels and dashes out the door so fast, she almost tramples over some guys heading in at the last minute.

She should’ve listened to the warnings, but she was too blinded by the attraction she felt for Killian.

God, she’s a fucking idiot.

Why does she always fall for the dangerous guys? The ones who are bad for her? Why can’t she just find a nice guy for once? Someone safe. Someone who won’t stomp on her heart and discard it like trash without batting an eye.

She pushes open the door, tears stinging her eyes as she runs outside into the bitter, chilly night, hoping the Uber driver hasn’t taken off yet. But it's wishful thinking because she can't think of a reason why he wouldn't have left by now.

“Ooof.”

The air rushes from her lungs as she slams into a tall, solid mass.

Hands are gripping her arms to keep her from falling as apologies leave her lips. “Sorry.” She looks up at the man towering over her, Emma's eyes connecting with soft blue ones, which are full of apology.

He flashes a warm smile, his lips framed by a light brown scruff.

“I’m the one who should be sorry, lass. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

Shit.

He has an accent too?

What’s with all the accents in this town? She’s noticed a lot of the locals here weren’t actually born here. Or the States. She didn’t realize how much she liked men with foreign accents until tonight.

This man continues to apologize, but he doesn’t sound very sorry. At least not for crashing into her. “I was distracted,” he says with a smirk, giving Emma the impression she was what he was distracted by.

Emma tears herself from the trance she’s in and glances at the side of the road, where the Uber once was. “Shit,” she curses under her breath.

“Are you okay?” he asks in genuine concern.

“Yeah, it’s just… my ride has already left. And I’m too drunk to drive home,” she sighs.

Before the man can respond, his phone chimes from his jacket. “Excuse me,” he says apologetically, pulling out the device. He studies whatever’s on the screen with a worried expression, then looks up at her, his mouth slightly agape.

“Everything okay?” she asks with an arched brow, starting to shiver as a frigid wind sweeps around her.

“Um, yeah.” He glances at his phone again before lifting his gaze. “You wouldn’t happen to be Emma, would you?”

She freezes and just stares at him, not knowing how to answer that. Or rather, why she should answer that.

What the hell?

She's never seen this man before in her life, so how does he know her name?

Her heart pounds and she wants to run, but she's afraid she’s not sober enough for that at the moment. “How do you know my name?”

He appears to be hesitant as he holds up his phone, showing her his screen.

Emma takes it in her hands so she can get a better look.

Her eyes widen when she sees a text from a Nolan.

Nolan, as in her brother? Who else with the last name, Nolan, lives with a Mary Margaret and an Emma?

Nolan: I just received a text from Emma. She sent Mary Margaret home in an Uber and is at your bar. Can you make sure she gets home all right?

Her blood sizzles as she rereads the message. Then she reads the texts before it, a couple in particular sticking out like sore thumbs.

Nolan: So… I have a huge favor to ask.

Me: Sure, what’s up, mate?

Nolan: The wife and sister are going to the Rabbit Hole tonight. Emma just moved here from New York after a terrible break-up and Mary Margaret is determined to hook her up with someone.

Nolan: Think you have time to get away from work and keep an eye on my sister, make sure she doesn’t find any trouble?

What the actual fuck?

Why is her brother having this man spy on her?

Emma turns around and pulls back the hand still holding the phone, about to toss the damn thing.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t shoot the messenger, love,” he pleads. “I need my phone.”

The endearment makes her shiver. Killian had called her love, too.

She spins around to glare at the stranger. “David’s using you to spy on me?” she demands firmly.

He holds up his hands in surrender. “I didn’t want to, lass, I promise, but I would’ve felt terrible if I said no and then, later on, found out something bad happened to you. I promise, I was only helping a friend and looking out for you.”

Emma sighs and hands his phone back, knowing he’s telling the truth. She saw his responses to David’s texts and gathered he didn’t wish to put his nose where it didn’t belong or to stir up any trouble. “David always has been good at persuading people,” she grumbles.

“Aye, especially when it comes to protecting the ones he loves,” he winks.

“Even so, he has no business spying on me!” she states louder than intended.

“I wholeheartedly agree,” he states adamantly, making sure to express how much he was against this whole idea, to begin with.

Emma crosses her arms over her chest, wondering how she never saw him at the Rabbit Hole when she was there. “So, you spied on me at the Rabbit Hole?”

He shakes his head. “No, I didn’t get the chance to. By the time I got there, you and Mary Margaret were already gone.”

Emma shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the thought of her own brother asking someone to spy on her. But she’s not surprised. “Brothers are so annoying,” she grumbles.

He chuckles, and the deep, hearty sound warms her heart a little, despite the chill in the air. “Agreed.”

She arches her brow, as though to ask him to expand on why.

“I have one of those, too. So I get it.”

Emma’s features soften, a small smile pulling at her lips. “Older or younger?”

“Younger. He can be quite the ponce sometimes, but at the end of the day, I’d lay down my life for him.”

“I usually feel the same about David… and then he goes and pulls something like this,” Emma remarks bitterly.

“I take it he does this a lot?”

“He did when we were younger. But then I moved to New York and he came here, so we didn’t see each other very much.”

“Ah, I see.”

Another gust of wind makes her shiver and has him removing his jacket and offering it to her. Even though she’s already wearing one.

“May I?”

She cocks a brow. “Won’t you be cold?”

He shrugs. “I rarely get cold.”

She gives him a soft nod. He looks like he’d be the type of man who knows how to stay warm, and therefore knows how to keep a woman warm. He has those big, strong arms and broad shoulders, and he’s very tall. She could picture herself being buried in his warmth, but maybe because she's currently freezing her ass off. “Thanks,” she murmurs when he goes behind her and drapes the jacket over her shoulders.

“It’s my pleasure, love.” When he’s standing in front of her again, he sticks out his hand. “The name’s Liam.”

Emma smiles and slips her palm in his.

She was right. He is warm. Very warm. “I think David’s mentioned your name a few times.”

“Probably not as much as he talks about you. In fact, I feel like I already know you,” he chuckles as they break the handshake.

“Hopefully, he had good things to say?” She almost groans at the idea of David spewing a bunch of embarrassing stories about her from when she was a kid.

“Aye. Very good things… well, mostly,” he admits. “But who doesn’t have at least a complaint or two about their siblings?”

She nods in agreement. “True. I complain about him all the time.”

He grins big and wide. “I don’t doubt that.” When his smile fades a little, he scratches his head as he looks at her, hesitant to form the next words he wants to say. “Well, uh… seeing as it’s,” he checks his watch, “almost two o’clock and not getting any warmer out here, how about I give you a ride home?”

Emma twists her lips in thought. Normally she wouldn’t even think twice about rejecting a ride from a stranger, but there’s something about this guy that tells her he’s not a serial killer or rapist. There’s something pure about him, a vast contrast to the bartender inside. That guy screamed danger and sin, but this man standing before her gives off completely different vibes. He has a warm personality, which is very refreshing, and he has honest eyes. Besides, she may not be able to stand her brother and his antics sometimes, but he's always had good taste in friends. And if David trusts Liam enough to keep tabs on his sister, then he must be trustworthy.

So with a feeble smile, she finally answers. “Okay.”

Tagging people who have shown interest. Let me know if you would like to be added. @itsfabianadocarmo @resident-of-storybrooke @onceuponaprincessworld @viajandosinalas @teamhook @captainswan-shipper88 @jamif @katielovesstarcrossedlovers @uhthreeyuh @lfh1226-linda @babyyouremyqueen @sthonour @julesep3026 @fairytalewhispersinmyheart @andiirivera @wefoundloveunderthelight @wickedsw4n @eleveneitherway @eherron14 @ouatpost @transparentclodsludgeweasel

#cs ff #captain swan #liam and emma #swan jewel #forced roommates #minor character death #angst #heartache #pregnancy #healing #through the rising tide #my fic

52 notes · View notes

whumpiary · 3 years

Note

cw: unkind family member made a comment trying to justify some horrible stuff

So this might be a big dumb ™ question, but I'm really not great with words out loud when I'm under a lot of emotion. It's why I'm a writer, I think; I write out my responses so much better than I could ever say them.

Someone in my family over their holiday visit spied on me reading a whump prompt, and after they quickly skimmed it, they made the most offhand, hurtful comment. I feel like a loser because I had 0 idea how to respond to it because my brain does a massive freeze response and locks completely up.

They said, "Oh, so you're fetishizing abuse now? Makes it perfectly cool then, I guess, to do _____ to someone."

I was so angry, all I could do was stumble out "No, that's not--no," and had to just leave and cry in the next room until they left. I wanted to explain that no; whump is something that helps me. I just...I didn't know what to say, or how to properly describe whump, and I almost want to reach out and explain it to them, but they're unfortunately the type of family member to side with all the wrong types of people. They're always saying something like this, it's just never been directly to me.

I think my question is, do you or a fellow whump writer have advice for how I might explain this to someone in the future, if not that particular person, that that's not what this is doing? That that's not what my fellow writers are doing? Because honestly, I've never been in a more supportive community than this, I love how whole I feel here, but I'm just struggling so much with not only the right way to explain it, but the guts to say it out loud.

I'm so sorry to bother you. I look up to you a lot. It's hard being in a trauma headspace a lot and formulating responses under pressure for me personally. Ughhhh. I'm asking anonymously because I'm too scared I'll be put on blast or something for 'not speaking up'. But thank you for reading. I support you and your work, and the entire whump community's work, so much. I hope everything's going well ♥️ You all really do inspire me.

This isn’t a dumb question at all. Thanks for writing me.

Cards on the table, it’s late in my time zone (Happy New Year, in fact!) so I may reblog again in the morning with more thoughts but it felt important to answer you tonight.

I see you and I hear you and I am sending you so much love. What your family member did was really shitty. (First, spying on something seemingly without your consent? Asshole move. Second, making you feel shit about something you like? Asshole love. Third, making you feel shit about something you made? Big asshole move.) I’m sorry you had to experience that.

First up: There’s nothing wrong with you for liking whump. There’s nothing wrong with you for reading it. There’s nothing wrong with you for writing it.

Liking and producing whump content doesn’t mean you condone abuse, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. You’re okay.

You’re also not a loser for not being able to rattle off a perfectly reasoned response in a moment of confrontation. That shit is hard, even when you’re not running on trauma software. You’re not a failure or dumb for not having an answer for them. You’re just a human. Especially on a topic as complex as whump.

I don’t think anyone would “put you on blast” for not speaking up. We’ve all been there, whether on the topic of whump or not. Anyone who’s telling you that you need to be a champion defender of whump at all times is just as much of an asshole as your family member in my opinion. You need to look after you first.

Whump is more prolific than we acknowledge or people recognise sometimes, in my opinion. It’s very easy for people to watch a movie or read a book and know the creators aren’t condoning what they’re depicting, but people seem to find it more difficult when they know the artists personally (like your family member knows you, for example). Something that I do sometimes is make references to things that are well known. Like:

“Saving Private Ryan depicts war and I don’t think they’re glorifying war. It’s a way to explore different parts of humanity and I think that’s interesting”

“[insert TV show here] has a lot heavy themes as a way of exploring character and relationships. That’s what I’m doing here.”

“Horror movies depict violence and gore all the time and they’re rarely fetishising things. It’s a way to get people to face and explore their fears and anxieties in safe, entertaining ways.”

You can also check out the “defining whump” tag for some really great community commentary on the subject.

Here’s the other thing, though: You also just straight up don’t have to justify yourself. You can just shrug and ignore them. Their opinion, and I know this maybe doesn’t feel true, straight up doesn’t matter.

If your family member is anything like some of mine, they likely won’t be convinced to your side. I don’t know your family member, so maybe I’m wrong, but it sounds to me like they were wanting to pick a fight, not have a discussion with you. In which case, even a million well thought out points and arguments won’t help. They’re just in this to make you feel crappy. In those situations, sometimes it’s best to just say “that’s your opinion, I just gave a different view” and step away from the convo.

You know why you like whump. You know why you read it. You know why you write it. You know what you enjoy about it. You know you don’t condone abuse or violence. That’s all that matters. You don’t need a moral high ground to find joy or benefit in something. It’s all good.

I know this is easier said than done, but remind yourself of the community you love and the content you enjoy and let the comments be water off a ducks back. We’ve got you. We get you. Forget about the folks that don’t. They’ve got their plate full of their own shit and clearly don’t have the space for empathy right now.

We love you. We are you. You’re all good, mate.

Anyone who has some words of wisdom or love to send is welcome and encouraged to pile onto this post. I think Anon needs it.

(P.S I hope you get around to posting that prompt! If it prompted such a reaction from someone reading it, I bet it’s a doozy. I’d love to see it and I bet the rest of the community would too)

#whump community #whump discourse #defining whump #answered #anonymous #long post

31 notes · View notes

nightwhite13 · 4 years

Text

trigger warning: internalized homophobia, homophobia, some patriarchal/heteronormativity bs, abusive parents, nsfw-ish (?)

p.s: pls tell me if the keep reading thing isn’t working on mobile and pls tell me how to make it work, jkdhjkshjk. i literary had a fever last night and this chapter made it worse

anyway, tagging @somewillwin

“What are you still doing here?” You asked Bea when you saw her hovered near your phone. You’re not dumb; you know she’s watching you when you type in your passcode. Good thing you changed it at the last minute before she came to the club last night. Otherwise, it would get awkward if she saw you enter her birthday as your passcode.

You let her get some dirt on you, after all, you’ve got a full arsenal to bring her down to her knees. It’s fun, trying to top one another, in almost every sense. Your favorite was the one that happened just a few minutes ago in your bed, who knew Farmsville got a game.

“Just want to say good night.”

You rolled your eyes, but can’t help the smirk on your lips as you heard Bea’s soft laugh. You wished you had more time to tire her out, to scream out your name over and over again until her voice reduced to nothing but a hoarse whisper, begging for your mercy. Like how it always goes in one of your fantasies of her.

You sauntered to her, swaying your hips and you noticed how Bea’s eyes glued to your hips. You remembered her strong arms holding your hips tightly as you pleasure yourself against her defined abs.

“Go back to your place, Bea.”

“Oh, so now I’m Bea.” She had the nerve to smirk, asshole.

You sighed and pulled her chain to make her closer, you can see her shock before it morphed into something else.

Excitement.

“Go home, Bea.” You whispered softly, trying to savor her reaction every time you called her by her name instead of stupid nicknames you come up with.

“And why should I comply?”

“Because your queen ordered you.” You said before you kiss her hard.

It’s so addictive, kissing her.

You never knew what addiction looks like before, you never had a problem with one. Even when your distant cousin tried to explain it to you about her addiction to gambling, you just drew blank.

But now.

Now, you understood.

And it’s such dangerous, exhilarating, and thrilling feelings that’s ever grace your cold heart.

You nipped her bottom lips, drawing out her soft moans, her hands holding your hips, keeping you closer to her. You chuckled darkly when you backed away from her, dropping the chain that you gripped while kissing her, to keep yourself from touching her. “Get lost; I don’t want to see your ugly face again.”

She just laughed and kissed the tip of your nose, probably because you said it jokingly instead with hatred like you used to.

“Okay your majesty,” Bea smiled. “Sweet dream.”

You just hummed and watched her walk away. You let your imagination run a little wild for a while, thinking what other toys she would probably enjoy. She would look good spread on your bed, hands and legs tie up to your bedpost, all those muscles straining against your handiwork. A gag ball won’t hurt either, since she couldn’t shut up even just for a second. Always have something smart to say, always trying to get the last word. It would be fun to hear her muffle moans as you fuck her with your strap-on. Should you whip out your nipple clamp too? Or is it too early for second fucking session?

“Yo, Poppy.”

Her voice pulled you out from your fantasy. “What?” You said with perfect tone, as if you’re not just imagining her squirming beneath you.

Before she closes your door, she glances at you and smirks. “We would probs do it again.”

“In your dreams, Hughes.”

And oh, what a dream it was.

Until the ringing of your phone and the name “Father” flashed on your phone.

_____________________________________________________________

Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl.

Your father’s words echoed within the bathroom, reminding you how wrong this was over and over again. You grit your teeth and clutched the marble sink until your knuckles turn white, hoping the coldness from it would cool you down, but it didn’t work.

You lift your eyes, meeting with your reflection in the mirror. You growled when you saw Farmsville leave a mark on your collarbone, God what an asshole. Such a rude and stupid and annoying asshole. You should’ve left your mark on hers as well, oh how you wish you bit her swan-like neck a little harder until it leaves a mark. Or digging your nails just a little deeper on her perfectly strong back. God, all those muscles, hiding beneath garbage bags all this time. You licked your swollen lips, wishing it was Bea’s.

Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl, Poppy.

Now it was your mother’s voice. Reminding you why falling in love with a girl is wrong.

“You are the heir of our family’s company!” Your father roared angrily at the day when your parents found out about you and Agnes. “Do not embarrass our family.”

Agnes, your sweet Agnes.

You’re both still so young, junior high school. But you knew right away that you didn’t like boys that way. At first you thought it’s because they’re always smell so awful, always fighting, always talking too loud, talking about something dumb, anything. You never ran out of reason to hate boys. It never occurred to you that, maybe, you just didn’t like them that way. No one taught you that you can feel that way towards boys, no one told you that you can feel that way towards girls.

“No daughter of mine is gay!” Your Father spat the word with venom, while you just cowered in fear. You looked over to your mother, but she’s already looking at you with disappointment and disgust.

“Good girl falls in love with a good boy and then becomes a good wife for her husband!”

You tried to hold back your tears; you don’t want your Father to hit you again.

It wasn’t even a kiss on the lips; Agnes just kissed your forehead after you told her that you’re sad.

You told someone about your feelings, and look what happened? Your parents threw her out like she’s a roach, unworthy of anything good in this world.

You should’ve just stayed silent; you should’ve just barked at her when she tried to hug you. You should’ve pushed her away when she’s introducing herself. You should’ve just kept your feelings to yourself, bottled everything up and hope you can survive.

Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl.

That’s why you’re blooming feelings with Bea is a threat. You hate yourself when you realize this feelings you had every time you saw Bea everywhere. With her almost stood tall over everyone, even some of the boys, her annoying laugh and that smirk. And you have to do everything to stop this from spreading inside you, poisoning you and turning you into something that you’re not. Into something that your parents hate.

The last thing you want is to be on the receiving end of your parents’ wrath, not again.

You closed your eyes and counted to three before you picked your phone and sent those embarrassing video of Bea to everyone on Belvoire.

You checked your reflection in the mirror, you didn’t notice you’ve cried, tears are streaming down on your cheeks, but your heart feels so numb and cold. You squashed away all of this feeling, trying to numb your heart once again. It worked before with Agnes, it could work with Bea, right?

After all, you’re a good girl.

And good girls don’t fall in love with another girl.

And yet…

#poppy x mc #poppy min sinclair #queen b #my fics #anyway agnes is actually my mcs name for this book #i promise ill write another poppy x mc #its fun writing from poppys pov #makepoppyali2020

59 notes · View notes

atomicfilm · 3 years

Note

hey, so I'm gonna ask about INTP stereotypes. I'm doing research about some MBTI types to my story, so I would like to know what should I avoid in order to create a reliable female INTP character, are there any common misconceptions? if you want to add anything about INTPs, like weird stuff they do, what do they like or very random things that nobody talks about, I would love to hear about it!

Awesome! If you ever need someone to read it, I’m open to that. I think one of the main misconceptions is how cold we are externally A lot of types might look at us and think we’re standoffish. However, I can actually warm up quite quickly with the right encouragement. The best approach is not to compliment me, it will make me feel awkward and probably slightly avoidant even if I don’t consciously intend to. I don’t really like to be observed in that way when I’m not trying to be. A better way is to tell a few jokes, make really random references, and get me used to the idea of you being in my physical space in a non-creepy, non-confrontational way (a fist bump or high-five will do).

There are a lot of nuances I would say. I am very insecure and very confident at the same time. Generally, I’m very confident in my academic abilities and very insecure about my social interactions.

INTPs aren’t all math all the time. I’m certainly not an engineer, even though I admire engineering from afar. I’m generally the most willing person to shut down people who are being assholes in class (i.e. those really loud kids that exist in every math class) and also contemplate other people’s ideas. However, some INTPs I know are actual engineers. This is very cool, but I’m also aware of the fact that they too get insecure about their math-skills as well because math is cool but not always conducive to the way we think. We’re kind of sporadic thinkers and not algorithmic as much. We can be really talented but are also generally at least a little unstructured (but a lot of types won’t see that, i.e. ENFPs typically think we have our lives figured out).

Everyone likes different things, it’s certainly not limited to type! I only know two other INTPs and they are both guys. I actually am pretty sure i know one other woman INTP but I haven’t spoken to her in four years. I don’t think any of us have a super-strong affiliation with gender and certainly not gender stereotypes (although we all are huge feminists). Perhaps the main misunderstanding is how much we care. Just because we may not outwardly respond does not mean that we didn’t hear the rude thing someone said to us or we aren’t furious about something happening in the world.

Another common thing for us is just being misunderstood. My INTP friends and I call each other aliens and it feels very true a lot of the time. Being an outsider is evident, even if we are well-liked.

I can be seen as sarcastic, snarky, blunt, and I am to an extent, all of those things, but I am not mean. I am very, very intentional about the boundaries I cross and often map out what will upset certain people to avoid hurting their feelings. When I do hurt feelings, it is generally because I have hit the end of my human feeling knowledge (i.e. what do you say to someone whose dad died if you are not religious, they are not religious, they didn’t know him and he was a bad person, but they are crying). I think now I would say “I am here for you, you can cry it out, let’s get you home”. But five years ago when I was in that situation, I didn’t say anything, just let my friend cry on my shoulder and when people came up to us, I told them that she didn’t want to talk. I was trying my best to be there emotionally, but I didn’t have the right schema yet.

My Ne/Si is a cause of a lot of my fights, actually. I tend to build schemas a lot (as most people do) but I am strict in my predictions of what I think people will do. Usually, people do not stray from my predictions but sometimes they do. When that happens, I’m either laughing my ass off and super excited about being surprised or I feel like I have betrayed myself by not being able to predict every outcome.

To write a good INTP character, you ought to give them a lot of comforting things. We like the friends we’ve had for many years, we like to wear the same jacket every week, we often order the same things off menus and say the same jokes and try to keep things quality-controlled. (I’m 19 and I still make pillow forts.) Then, to write a good book, you should mess everything up for your INTP.

If you need some emotional conflict, give them an Fi user. I personally fight with every Fi user I have ever known because there is always eventually a conflict that goes like this:

Fi:“YOU HURT MY FEELINGS. I’M SAD, WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?”

Fe: “Your feelings do not make sense in this logical construct I have programmed to understand human emotions.”

AND/OR

“You are hurting other people’s feelings.”

OH, and another large misunderstanding. INTPs talk more or less like normal people. I have an incredibly colloquial style because formal writing is alienating and often misused. My INTP friends typically love memes as well as puns, bad jokes, and writing texts in stanzas like a drunkard poet. So yeah, we’re not all like “wahhh, you don’t speak in Python, my computer-brain doesn’t like this” (but also we kinda do just in different vernacular).

I also think that INTPs are not incredibly skilled at understanding who they are, even if they appear to be. I can analyze myself all day bebeY but if you ask me what my name is or what I’m doing I’m often like “yeah, idk, who am I? What is the purpose of existence?”. Actually, one of the easiest ways to identify an INTP in my personal belief is to shout very loudly “SO I WAS READING THIS EXISTENTIALIST BOOK THE OTHER DAY-”.

INTPs have a nice dichotomy of wanting stability but getting very bored once they’ve figured something out. If I am not planning something, I am depressed point-blank. Another cool dichotomy is disliking conflict but being sensitive and standing up for people (learned skill).

Hope this helped! Feel free to ask me about how I would respond in a certain situation too.

P.S. Why can’t I add tags to asks until after I’ve posted them? Extremely inefficient.

6 notes · View notes

veterveter · 3 years

Text

YO MANU THIS FINALLY CAME THROUGH I'LL LIKE READ AND DO COMMENTARY AND EDIT THIS LATER BUT I WANTED TO POST IT WHILE I HAD IT!!!!

Bless, tumblr finally working for you.

Anyway, here's the post from @delirious-and-slightly-murderous

So seeing as Tumblr hates me, I'm trying this darling, hope it reaches you.

So just read rat king.

[You should all totally read rat king if you haven't yet, it's fun I promise :) But also read Manu's commentary on it!!]

Tuuli I hope you know I love you and completely adore you and I am in awe of you but right now I HATE YOU.

You broke me AGAIN. And I was just mending myself.

This was great and beautiful and fantastic and completely awful and the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.

I'm crying.

So now I'm going to make a habit of coming to scream at you on tumblr every time you post something.

You already know how I feel about your characterization and Andrés' POV and the angst. So there, it applies here too.

Here we go you awful and magnificent goddess.

“Martín,” Sergio clarified, moving up his glasses, the prescription of which was much too weak for his continuously worsening eyesight, “I think you should stop sleeping with him: Yes, Segio and his judgement. That couldn't not be there. But Andrés and Martín are sleeping together? I know this is going to hurt.

Martín was a constant in his life, something carried over from before. Martín? Martín wasn’t a problem; Martín was the only one thing that was good: at least here he appreciates him. Thank god.

Before, he would have found some entirely healthier way of loving his soulmate. Maybe they would have even had an old-world relationship, eventually. Andrés felt like he might have liked that, once. He knew Martín would have loved it: 😭 I want this for them and it hurts that it's simply not going to happen. I'm afraid of the MCD tag, Tuuliiiiiiiiiiii! Who did you kill, you murderous genius?

Andrés needed Martín, desperately. Too desperately to love him the way he should have: I'm going to die. He could at least try but nooooo, god forbid the day Andrés de Fonollosa makes things simple for anyone.

Andrés could see the way orgasms had loosened some of the tensions that so often gripped his body, and he hoped Sergio could too.😏

If Andrés had to choose only one, he would have certainly chosen— : repressed asshole. I hope that was going to end with the word Martín. Why are you even getting married? What's even the point. But I see Andrés will continue to be emotionally stunted even when the world is ending.

Martín and Sergio had gotten along well, before. Andrés could remember so many pleasant evenings, just the three of them and a bottle of wine. But ever since they had to move to this base, the tensions had been palpable. They were both desperately trying to keep them alive, but were constantly disagreeing on the how: I'm starting to like Sergio more than Andrés here, how is that possible? How? See what you do Tuuli?

He turned around at the doorway and left the room, because he had no doubts about it: they would listen to him: Andresito, you are being too egocentric, this is not going to end well, for anyone.

Andrés understood just enough to know he was proud.: I don't know how to feel about this Andrés. I can't.

Andrés always tried not to take the slights of this brave new world personally – it was cruel, but they all had to endure loss of unspeakable magnitude – but this? Having to choose between his Martín and his brother?: Oh no, Oh no, NO. This isn't fair. Why do I get the terrible feeling we already know who he's going to choose? Please DON'T do this.

Andrés knew with unwavering certainty that either one of them would be willing to do it, and that they would consider it a great big favour to Andrés, and not the horrifying curse it truly was. He was the one who would have to pay the ultimate price, and live, knowing how much it had cost: Everything always has to be about you, doesn't it Andrés. You fucking deserve it.

Andrés could appreciate such a malleable room, because it reminded him of Martín, who always became what Andrés needed him to be.😡😭💔

Martín had never cared about plants, before. Actually, he seemed to have held a certain disdain for them. He had always said they were stupid and lifeless. Now he was looking at these ones, their lifeline, and he was filled with reverence and sorrow. If Andrés could have given him one thing, he would have liked to return to him his complete disregard for flora, and all the things it had since then come to imply: This hurts, and not only for obvious reasons. But nature? Fuck right in the feels.

Martín was entirely too pretty to look like this. They hadn’t even been having sex, because suddenly Martín looked like his eternally calcium-deficient bones might now break from the strain. Pretty Martín yeah! And you are a genius. Now this is my official headcanon as to why Martín drinks milk, he has fragile bones, the poor baby.

The weird walking corpse at the table smiled, and it almost made him resemble Martín.: He's already halfway dead. The MCD tag is him isn't it? I hate you Tuuli.

Andrés had to remind himself that he was lucky to have this. He may have had so many better things, before, but now he had this, and that was good. They had it better than most, him and Martín, for they had each other. Andrés still had his brother, and now he would have his wife, too. He was lucky: Not for long, buddy. And you deserve it. Poor Sergio I normally hate him but gosh.

“No,” Andrés said without waiting for a single beat, because he couldn’t let Sergio think he considered it. Even though he almost— “No, I don’t. I want you two, both of you, to figure out a way. A different way.”: He loves them both and he accepts it? Why does the world have to be ending.

Andrés tried not to think too much about Martín from before, but sometimes he did anyway. That night, as he wrapped his arms around Martín’s pathetic, weak and shivering frame, he thought about his true soulmate, the one this body had once belonged to.: Now I understand Martín sacrificing himself is the only way. He's already dead. And because of Andrés no less. How tragic.

Andrés had never said it back.

That night, he didn’t say it back.: Now Martín is going to die and it'll be horrible isn't it? Tuuli I want to murder you.

I’m so sorry, Andrés,” Sergio said quietly, slowly reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder.

Andrés recoiled from it, sharply. “No,” he snapped, “No. We are all going to die. Say those words, Sergio. We are all going to die.” He had made his peace with death long ago. There were worse things, many things so much more horrifying—

“We are not all going to die,” Sergio said, “The generator—” His words were cut off by Andrés’s hand on his throat, squeezing.: You are the king of denial, bad decision, being stupid, emotionaly stunned and not appreciating your soulmate enough Andrés. You deserve all the pain.

“He doesn’t deserve that,” Andrés said, his voice breaking again as he thought of it, Martín’s body, his corpse, frozen and preserved like that for as long as they would live. Martín, out there, while Andrés was in here, unable to ever go and give him even a proper burial. He had always been able to give Martín so little, and in death he would fail him yet again: I really have no words for this. But Martín being forever preserved out there and Andrés knowing that and not being able to mourn him. That is genius and it hurts and it's the perfect ending for them.

Andrés had never told him. Not once. How could he be certain that Martín had known? How could he insist that Martín, the brightest of them all, had known, when Andrés had never told him? Martín operated in words – how could Andrés have forced him to read his love in a language he didn’t even speak?: Now you confront your feelings too late, like always you repressed asshole. You deserve all the pain.

God, he wished Martín hadn’t been so bright. That he had been an idiot, dim-witted and slow like the rest of them.

Then the two of them would have let all of humanity perish.: You already murdered me with 'stay a while' and now this. Tuuli I'm coming back as a vengeful ghost and haunting your perfect ass.

So yeah, I don't have words but that's what I could spit out.

And Tuuli, you know the thing I showed you about the spider? Well when I finished reading this I was crying and wailing. My professor came running because he thought it was another spider or something even worse like a serpent.

When he asked what was going on I was in such a state I could only say 'rat' like a dumbass.

RAT.

Like seriously? And when he asked again I said Rat king fic and pointed vaguely to my phone.

He thought I was talking about an actual rat.

So imagine this. We are there, at night (in Costa Rica nightfall is around 6:00pm all year round, so now it's 9:00pm and here in the tropical rainforest it gets Dark), camping in the middle of nowhere in the wild with a tropical storm falling over our heads and I start crying about Rats.

Congratulations Tuuli, you put me in such a state that I managed to send the whole of 9 biologists into a frenzy, frantically checking out the tents over an imaginary giant rat.

It was literally terror in the jungle.

I wanted the earth to shallow me. I didn't know how to explain that all that circus was because of a fucking fic.

I think now I no longer have satelital internet rights.

I hate you.

(P.S: But don't worry I still absolutely adore you, even if now I am the laughing stock of my fellows 🥰😘♥️)

Here have my friend the spider to show how I'm feeling.

3 notes · View notes

cuthian · 3 years

Text

A Song Only You Can Hear Chapter Four

Hey everyone!

Sorry for the wait. I had exams and then I had to figure out my plot line. Please check the updated tags; and feel free to blame PJO_Connoisseur for all of it ;)

A nice long chapter with A LOT of angst. Please prepare.

Some of you will need tissues.

Thanks for reading!

Love Annaelle

P.S. I was too impatient to wait for this to be beta'd completely, so thanks to Juulna for checking grammar and such, and a future thank you to PJO_Connoisseur for when they check it for whether or not everyone is in character.

FOUR

“Maybe a good relationship is just [several] idiots who don’t know a damn thing except the fact that they’re willing to figure it out together.” — Unknown author

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:36 p.m.) WILLIE

Willie trailed shaking fingers across the cymbals on Alex’s drums and swallowed thickly. He’d been somewhat relieved to find that Luke wasn’t in the studio when he got here, because it gave him the precious few minutes he needed to collect himself, to get his thoughts in order before he’d have to see Alex again.

He didn’t know what he’d poofed in on earlier, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know either.

He knew that Alex and Reggie had dated, but he’d thought it long over. The way Alex had talked about it made it sound like it hadn’t been that serious to begin with, but whatever had happened up in the house today, it’d looked far from casual before Willie had poofed out.

He didn’t think Alex and Reggie had even noticed him.

Willie dropped his hand to his side and sighed. He didn’t want to be suspicious about this, didn’t want to be the kind of boyfriend that got weird around his boyfriend’s ex just because they were still close, because he knew how much Reggie meant to Alex, knew how much Luke meant to Alex and if he was going to feel weird about Reggie, he’d probably start feeling weird about Luke too, and Willie wasn’t that guy.

He really wasn’t.

He trusted Alex and he liked Reggie and Luke both, and he’d never even considered being worried about it before—he’d even joked about it with Reggie before.

And yet… he couldn’t get the image of his boyfriend sitting pressed close to Reggie, one of Reggie’s hands between both of his and their heads bent close together, out of his mind. It’d looked intimate as hell, and even if he hadn’t quite been able to make out their words, he’d still been very reluctant to stick around—hadn’t really wanted to see the way Alex would react when he saw him.

He didn’t want to see the guilty look Alex would undoubtedly have shot his way because it would mean that Willie was right and there wassomething Alex should feel guilty for.

Right now, all he’d seen was his boyfriend having a rather intimate discussion with his best friend.

Right now, that’s all it was.

God. Willie hoped that was all it was.

They had bigger things to worry about. If what he’d overheard at the Ghost Club was even remotely true, Caleb had been after the boys for far longer than any of them had known.

He wasn’t sure what that meant, wasn’t sure why, but he knew it couldn’t wait.

When the door opened and Julie filed in, followed closely by all three of the boys—and he wasn’t sure what to make of that, what to think of Luke having been in the house too, potentially with Alex and Reggie—Willie exhaled in a rush, running trembling hands through his hair before trying to smile at Alex, who was looking at him wide-eyed.

“Hey hot dog,” he tried, but his smile must’ve looked pained because Alex’s expression changed from confused to worried in a heartbeat and before Willie could stop him he was rushing forward, hands soft and gentle when he pressed them to Willie’s cheeks, like nothing was different, like Willie hadn’t seen him with Reggie earlier, like… like everything was the same it’d been yesterday.

“I’m fine,” he told Alex, leaning back enough so that Alex’s hands slipped from his cheeks. “I overheard something at the Club, I—I need you guys to sit down, okay?”

Alex blinked at him with wide, blue eyes, but he backed up obediently, settling on the couch beside Luke, who was pressed close to Reggie, holding Reggie’s hand in a white-knuckled grip and… shit, Willie really didn’t know what was going on anymore.

“So?” Luke said, looking up at Willie defiantly. “What was so urgent?”

Willie blinked a little, taken aback by the harsh tone, but nodded anyway. “I overheard Caleb talking to someone—I don’t know who, I didn’t recognize their voice, but…” he swallowed thickly and wrung his hands together. “They were talking about killing someone. Killing them and making sure they came back as a ghost with… with powers.”

When he looked up, Reggie looked perturbed and confused, Luke’s expression very similar, while Alex looked a little green around the gills. Julie, on the other hand, was frowning impressively at him and demanded, “Did they mention a name? Any way we can find them and maybe warn them?”

“No,” Willie shook his head. “No, not really. Only that it was a man, and that—that ghosts were flocking towards him. Like… like he was a beacon, or something. Not enough to find him. But that’s not—”

“Willie,” Alex said shakily, but Willie shook his head and waved his hand dismissively.

“That’s not it,” he continued. “That’s not the thing I have to tell you guys. It’s—” He hesitated. “They mentioned making sure they didn’t have a repeat from last time… making sure he didn’t disappear for twenty-five years.” He trailed off there, leaving the implication of his words hanging in the air between them and watched as it hit all three of the boys differently.

Luke’s expression went from confused to baffled to furious understanding, and it took Reggie a few seconds of complete confusion before he, too, looked like he understood what Willie was trying to say.

Alex, on the other hand, looked completely unsurprised, as though he’d expected Willie to say something like this, like Caleb arranging their murder was expected rather than baffling, and though he looked nauseous and on the verge of an anxiety attack, he didn’t look as surprised as his two bandmates.

Julie, too, looked far less surprised than Willie would’ve expected.

“That makes sense,” Julie muttered. “That’s why he was so desperately trying to get you guys to join his club,” she told the boys, glancing towards them, “He lost you three once already, arranged for your murder, he couldn’t risk losing you again.”

“He said—” Alex said hoarsely, leaning forward with his elbows planted firmly on his knees, head in his hands, “The guy who killed us—Maggie said he always insisted ghosts made him do it.”

“Oh my God, that’s right,” Reggie breathed, his eyes wide.

“We have to find him,” Julie said reasonably, and Willie looked at her expectantly. “We have to find him and figure out what he knows—see if Caleb or whoever was working for him let anything slip or said anything that might point to why he wanted you guys dead.”

“Maggie knows,” Reggie whispered. “Maggie went to see him once, when she was still trying to figure out what happened to us. She knows where he’s locked up, she knows his name—”

“I’ll call her then,” Julie nodded determinedly. “I’ll call her and explain what we know, explain that we need to find him, so that we can figure out what we’re up against.” When all four boys blinked at her, she heaved a sigh and added, “We need to know why he’s so dead set on having you guys join his stupid little club. If we know why, we can start to figure out how to get him to back off.”

“I don’t know,” Willie said slowly. “Guys, he’s dangerous. He nearly killed you last time. Again.”

“He doesn’t know we’re onto him,” Julie pointed out. “It’s worth a shot.”

Luke nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said, glancing towards both Alex and Reggie before he nodded. “Okay, give Maggie a call; see what she knows about this guy, where we can find him, how we can talk to him.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and sighed, “Maybe she’d be willing to go with us to see him, since, you know…”

“We’re dead and he killed us,” Alex finished dryly.

Reggie looked like he was going to throw up and Willie could relate.

Now that that immediate crisis was out of the way, all he could focus on was the way Reggie kept darting looks at Alex and Luke, gnawing nervously on his lower lip, the way Alex was fidgeting restlessly and had been the entire time he’d been down here, even before Willie had told him what he’d overheard, the way Luke had planted himself between his own boyfriend and Willie’s and—

And he was probably reading too much into it, seeing things that weren’t really there, because he needed to trust his boyfriend rather than jump to conclusions based on a three-second glimpse of a conversation between two best friends.

“Okay,” he said shakily, “I guess I—I guess that’s all I came here for. I’ll—I’ll go back before I’m missed, or before Caleb realizes I heard something, I don’t want—”

“Do you have to go already?” Alex interrupted, standing up from the couch with a hopeful smile and damn if Willie wasn’t so fucking weak and gay for his handsome drummer boy looking at him like that. He could feel himself give in, could feel himself lean into Alex’s touch when the other ghost rested a hand on Willie’s elbow, letting the drummer steer him away from the rest of the group.

He focused his attention on Alex, who trailed his fingers down Willie’s arm to interlace their fingers.

“So, what’s up, buttercup?” Willie drawled as Alex pulled him towards the little flower nook, settling on the piano bench and smiling up at his boyfriend, because… because he wanted to trust Alex. He hadn’t done anything wrong, as far as Willie knew, and Willie certainly didn’t have any reason to be snippy towards him—being stressed about Caleb’s plotting and the future of the Ghost Club ghosts was no excuse to be an asshole.

“Uh,” Alex said, settling down beside him, fidgeting with Willie’s fingers. “I, uh—I was talking to Reggie earlier—”

“I know,” Willie interrupted quietly, and when Alex looked up, wide-eyed, he added, “I poofed into the house first, heard you talking, but—” He swallowed thickly and looked away, a little afraid to see the look on Alex’s face. “It looked hella intimate, so I poofed right back out, I—I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Oh,” Alex breathed. “You saw us?” And when Willie dared look up, Alex’s expression was one of complete and utter panic, and Willie’s heart sank.

“There was something to see?” he asked faux-casually, even though he felt like he was going to hurl.

“Uh,” Alex stammered, cheeks flushing red as he averted his gaze. “Sort of?” he squeaked, looking up at Willie with an utterly apologetic expression. “It’s—we—I—uh. I kissed Reggie. A little.”

Willie exhaled and squeezed his eyes shut.

Just like he’d thought, then.

“What. The. Hell, Alex?” he demanded, pushing up off the bench to pace in front of it. “I mean, I—what exactly do you expect me to say to that?”

Alex looked up at him with big, shiny blue eyes, and God, Willie hated that he loved him so much, that he loved Alex enough to want to stick around to listen to an explanation even after knowing Alex kissed his ex-boyfriend and that Willie had been a hair away from catching them.

“It was my fault,” Reggie said, and Willie spun on his heel to find the other ghost standing on the other side of the piano, fidgeting with the sleeves of his flannel. “I kissed him. I’m so sorry, I didn’t—”

“No,” Alex interrupted, standing from the bench too, giving Willie a pleading look, “No, it—it’s my fault, honestly. Really, Reg, if you hadn’t, I—”

“Are you seriously arguing about this right in front of me?” Willie demanded in disbelief, looking between his boyfriend and Reggie incredulously. Reggie flinched and Alex looked suitably chastened, and Willie felt like everything was falling apart all around him and he had no idea how to stop it.

Luke came up behind Reggie, hands pushed deep into the pockets of his vest, and said, “Just tell him what you told me, guys. He deserves an explanation as much as I did.” He glanced at Willie and added, “It’s not a justification, but… it’ll make some sense, at least.”

Willie stared, “You okay with this?”

“Oh, no,” Luke laughed, high and bitter and insincere. “No, I am not okay with this, but at least now I know why it happened.”

“What does that even—” Willie began, but Alex cut in before he could even finish his sentence.

“I lied to Reggie,” he exclaimed, and when they all turned to stare at him, he continued, cheeks flushed, “When we broke up. I lied to him about why I wanted to stop what we were, and—”

“When we were talking about it,” Reggie interjected, “it was like everything came back. Everything I felt back then, everything I haven’t really thought about since we broke and I—I wanted—I needed—I needed to know if I still—if—”

“If you’re still in love with my boyfriend,” Willie concluded, crossing his arms over his chest.

He was well aware he was being rude, but he didn’t feel exactly charitable either. Towards either of them—Reggie might’ve kissed Willie’s boyfriend, but Alex didn’t seem exactly sorry about it either, and Willie didn’t know what to do with that. After Alex had told him about his previous relationship with Reggie, he’d sworn to Willie that he didn’t need to worry about it, that they were great friends still and that any and all romantic feelings were behind them and Willie had believed him.

“So when you told me this,” Willie waved his hand between Reggie and Alex vaguely, “was all over, were you lying? Telling me what I wanted to hear?”

“No,” Alex said pleadingly, reaching out towards Willie. “No, Willie, I promise I wasn’t lying—I didn’t think—we didn’t think—” Willie stayed where he was, let Alex take his hands in his, let his boyfriend draw him closer because he wanted to believe Alex, he did—

“So what now?” he asked. “Am I just supposed to forget this happened?”

“No,” Alex shook his head, clutching at Willie’s hand so tightly it almost hurt. “No, I’d never ask you to—Willie, I’m so sorry.” Willie didn’t resist when Alex pressed his fingers to his jaw, guiding his chin up so Willie had to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry,” Alex repeated. “I never, ever want to hurt you, and I know that I am now, and I’m so sorry.” Alex’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears and the thing was that Willie believed him, but he didn’t know how to just get past this either.

“Do you love him?”

Willie’s voice was barely more than a whisper, and he hated that Reggie and Luke were here to witness this, but… well, it was what it was.

Alex heaved a sigh and shrugged miserably. “I don’t know—I mean…” He glanced towards Reggie and gave a sad little smile, “I don’t remember how to not love him. But I—I love you. And I—I don’t know if I still have romantic feelings for Reggie, and I—”

“I don’t know either,” Reggie admitted quietly. “I think we need to—to—"

Luke grimaced and Willie glanced between them with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “So,” he uttered slowly, “what, you’re asking permission to figure out whether you’re still in love with each other?” He looked at Alex in disbelief. “You want me to sit by and watch while you and your only serious ex-boyfriend figure things out?”

Alex stared at him with a pained expression but didn’t say anything.

Willie scoffed, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his hair. “You know,” he sighed. “I know I told you I’d do anything for you, hot dog, but…” He exhaled shakily. “I don’t—I don’t know if I can do this.” He looked up at his boyfriend—his wonderful, beautiful, cheatingdrummer boy—and asked, “What if I say no? What are you going to do if I say I’m not okay with this?”

Alex blinked, opened his mouth to say something and when no words came out, closed it again.

It was enough of a confirmation.

Willie tried to ignore the sharp, shooting pain in his chest and shot a sad smile towards Alex. “Do whatever you want, Alex. You’re going to anyway.”

Before Alex could say anything else, he poofed out.

--------------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:57 p.m.) LUKE

Luke let a soft groan fall from his lips when Willie poofed out and Alex kind of crumpled down onto the piano bench, shoulders hunched and arms wrapped around himself.

“That could’ve gone better,” he muttered, rubbing a hand through his hair as Reggie fidgeted nervously beside him. Luke didn’t have to look at him to know his boyfriend’s eyes would be fixed on Alex—if today hadn’t happened, Reggie would probably already be by Alex’s side, clumsily trying to comfort him, and that meant the only reason he wasn’t was because he was holding back for Luke’s sake. Of course, if today hadn’t happened, Alex wouldn’t be upset in the first place.

Luke sighed again and nudged his shoulder against his boyfriend’s.

“Go hug him,” he said. “I’ll find Willie. Talk to him.”

Reggie looked back at him with wide, watery green eyes and whispered, “Luke.” Luke smiled shakily and fit his hand around the back of Reggie’s neck, pulling him in so their foreheads rested together.

“I love you,” Luke whispered, tightening his fingers on Reggie’s neck. “And I hate this, but I get it. Talk. You’ve got some time. Julie’s calling Maggie, and I’ll go find Willie. Talk, figure out what you both need to to figure everything out, and we can talk.”

“I love you,” Reggie whispered in response and Luke smiled like it didn’t physically hurt to hear Reggie say the words when he still might end up choosing Alex over Luke in the end.

He let Reggie go and watched, stomach twisting uncomfortably, as Reggie fit himself onto the bench beside Alex, looking away when Alex collapsed into Reggie’s arms. He wasn’t sure where to look for Willie, but the skatepark where Alex had introduced him to them seemed like the best place to start, so with one more glance to his best friend and boyfriend, he poofed out of the studio.

He didn’t find Willie at the skatepark, or the museum, or the strip or anywhere else—until he poofed up to the Hollywood sign, because he was pretty sure Alex had mentioned a date there once, and found Willie sitting on top of the ‘H’, slumped against the side, arms wrapped around himself.

Luke took a deep breath and tried to make sure he was calm, collected, before he poofed himself up onto the sign next to Willie. “Hey man,” he said casually, trying not to wince when Willie looked at him with glassy eyes, rimmed with red.

“Hi,” Willie croaked, before slumping back to rest his head against the cool metal. “Alex send you?”

“No,” Luke shook his head, shifting so he could sit with his legs curled up underneath him. “No, I just… If anyone knows how you’re feeling right now, it’s me, and… I mean, I definitely want someone to talk to, so I figured you might too.”

Willie huffed out a breath, shaking his head, and looked back at Luke. “How are you this calm? Your boyfriend cheated on you. With my boyfriend. After they both promised us there wasn’t anything to worry about, that their relationship was definitely over and done with.” His voice was shaky, just like it’d been on the night he’d confessed what Caleb had done to them, and Luke wished they were actually close enough for him to just wrap himself around the other ghost in a tight hug that Willie so very clearly needed—not to mention how much Luke himself wished someone would hug him.

“I’m…” Luke heaved a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair before he turned sideways to face Willie. “I’m not calm, or okay, or anything you seem to think I am. I think… I think that what Alex and Reggie did today is the most reckless, selfish wildly out of character thing either of them has ever done in their entire lives.”

Luke swallowed thickly and fiddled with one of his rings. “And… I guess I… I get it. And that’s both better and worse, because I don’t like it, I’m not happy about it, but after I let Reggie explain, I did get it. I get why it happened and why they can’t just pretend that it didn’t.”

Willie blinked at him, lips parted, and Luke sighed again. “Okay, look, they didn’t really do a great job of explaining, earlier—”

“No shit,” Willie huffed, and Luke smiled a little despite himself.

“How much did Alex tell you about their relationship?” he asked cautiously.

Willie shrugged, but pulled himself up, turning so he was sitting cross-legged too, facing Luke. “He told me they hooked up a couple of times after you and he broke up, and that they tried dating seriously too, but that it didn’t work out, that their dynamic didn’t work so he broke it off a couple of months before you guys died.”

Luke shook his head. “So basically nothing,” he muttered. “Okay. There was a lot more to it than that. Reggie’s told me… well, not everything, I don’t think, but a lot more than that.”

Willie swallowed thickly. “Okay,” he whispered. “Tell me then. Why should I understand?”

Luke wrapped his arms around himself and leaned his head back against the side of the ‘H’. “They’d been… messing around regularly—and exclusively, despite what Alex seems to think—since ’92. Reggie had a girlfriend for a couple of months in ’93, but that didn’t really work out, and after that…” Luke sighed and shrugged. “After that he was only ever with Alex. Reg says they didn’t really call it dating or anything like that until ’94, but in hindsight it felt like it anyway.”

Willie looked away, and Luke kindly pretended he didn’t see Willie wipe at his eyes.

“So they were serious,” Willie said quietly.

Luke shrugged helplessly. “I think so. More serious than they knew too.”

Willie sighed, but it sounded more confused and frustrated than angry this time, and when he looked back at Luke, his eyes were clear and dry. “So why’d they break up? If everything was so good, if they’d been together that long, if they were in love? Why would Alex lieand say it wasn’t serious?”

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know, man. He can be a dumbass sometimes, and…” He shook his head and looked down, tangling his fingers in his necklace. “He didn’t actually say why he broke up with Reggie in there, did he?”

Willie shook his head mutely.

Luke sighed. “He figured out I was in love with Reggie too.” He rolled his eyes and admitted, “To be fair, it probably wasn’t very hard, I don’t think I was subtle about it at all, but… yeah, I think.” He fidgeted with his necklace nervously. “I think he freaked out a little when he realized how I felt. He’s always been… After he came out, his parents… they were never really cool again, and he hung onto us for support a lot.” Luke smiled sadly and said, “Not that we minded, obviously, but we became his entire family really fast and the idea of losing us terrified him.”

He sighed. “I don’t know, of course, I haven’t asked him, but… I’ve seen him react in more illogical ways when he’s scared we’re going to decide we don’t want him around anymore.”

Luke bit down on his lip as he remembered Alex coming out to them, tears in his eyes, knuckles white with the grip he’d had on his fanny pack when they’d been thirteen, and the time Reggie had gotten into a fight with someone at school who’d insulted Alex and had his nose broken and Alex had somehow managed to blame himself—remembered those fraught first few days after their breakup, where Alex had walked on eggshells around him, terrified that Luke was going to kick him out of the band for not getting over his feelings fast enough.

“Reggie’s like that too,” he said quietly. “Abandonment issues. They’ve done weirder stuff than this.”

“So,” Willie said slowly, frowning hard. “So he broke up with Reggie because he was afraid you’d kick him out of the band if he didn’t?”

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know for sure obviously, and I doubt he did it with that consciously in mind, but… I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out he let his anxiety brain convince him that there was no way I’d let him stay around if we were both in love with Reggie, if he was dating Reggie and I wasn’t, and broke up with him to save us all the trouble.”

Willie groaned and dug his hands into his hair. “…and that’s what he lied to Reggie about.”

“I think so,” Luke nodded. “He told Reggie it wasn’t working. That he didn’t feel the same way, so Reg kind of pushed away everything romantic he felt for Alex, refused to think about it.” He chewed down on his lower lip and said, “He wrote it all down, wrote dozens of songs, and never played them, until…”

“Until now,” Willie finished, looking up at Luke with reddened eyes.

“Yeah,” Luke whispered. “Until now.”

Willie heaved a very heavy sigh and thumped his head back against the wall behind him, staring up at the sky. “I get it,” he said, voice thick and choked. “You were right. It’s both better and worse to understand them.”

Luke nodded quietly.

They sat together in silence, and Luke wondered how Alex and Reggie’s conversation fared—and then promptly realized he wasn’t sure he wanted to know at all. He understood, and he sympathized because he loved Reggie and he could see how much this was hurting him too, could see how torn up Alex was over the entire thing and… and they were his best friends.

In the end all he wanted was for both of them to be happy.

That didn’t mean he was looking forward to having his own heart broken though.

“What the hell are we gonna do?” Willie piped up after a while. Luke looked back at the other ghost contemplatively and then shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I told Reggie to find out what they need to figure this—to figure themselves—out, to talk to Alex, but I don’t—I don’t know what is going to happen now.” Willie huffed a breath and jumped to his feet, pacing the little platform anxiously in a stunning approximation of Alex’s expert model strut, tugging his fingers through his hair.

“I don’t know what to do with this,” Willie exclaimed. “I want to understand, and I do, okay, but—but I don’t want to have to sit by and watch him fall in love with someone else.”

“Me either,” admitted Luke. “But what choice do we have? Demand that they don’t resolve their thing and have all of our relationships suffer for it?” Willie groaned and threw his hands up in exasperation before he plopped down beside Luke, leaning their shoulders together casually.

“At least we’ll have each other, right?” he joked, and he felt Willie huff a reluctant laugh before the other ghost tipped his head back against the wall, smiling weakly.

“Promise you’ll run away with me if this doesn’t end well?” Willie quipped, looking at Luke with an expression that was equal parts hopeful and heartbroken, and Luke found, a little unexpectedly, that he was willing to do a lot to erase the heartbreak from Willie’s eyes.

He nodded, offering him the most sincere smile that he could muster. “Sure. I’ll teach you how to play the guitar and you’ll teach me how to skate and we’ll make everyone jealous with how rad we are.”

Willie snorted a laugh, and Luke smiled too.

“We should go back eventually,” Willie said after they’d both fallen silent for a few moments. He sounded devastated at the mere prospect, and Luke was still a little taken aback by the strong urge he felt to shield his newest friend from heartache.

“We don’t have to yet,” he said quietly. “We can just… sit here, for a while.”

Willie chuckled weakly and rolled his head to the side again, eyeing Luke carefully. “How’re you doing with all of this? You’ve said you’re not okay, but—”

Luke shrugged. “I mean… this sucks. This whole thing…” His voice broke, and he shuddered before he whispered, “I love him. I just… In the end, I just want him to be happy, even if that’s not with me.”

He smiled sadly. “I’m sure I’ll get over it if I need to.”

Willie gaped at him, and Luke stared back for a second before Willie huffed and yanked him in for a hug. Luke’s arms came up to grip at Willie’s shoulders automatically, and he blinked owlishly for a few seconds before he sank into the embrace. He felt Willie shudder in his arms and choked, “Bet you didn’t realize you needed a hug too, did you?”

Willie snorted a laugh right in his ear and Luke smiled.

“We’re going to work this out somehow, bro,” he whispered. “One way or another.”

------------------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:43 p.m.) T’NIA

She had just put Regina down for a nap and was headed back down the stairs to join her sister and her family for hot chocolates after their walk when she heard Maggie’s voice drift from the spare bedroom. She hesitated for a moment just outside the door, unsure if she should interrupt, before shaking her head at her own hesitation. She and Maggie had no secrets anymore, and as unbelievable as half of their life was these days, at least she knew Maggie wasn’t hiding things from her.

She knocked lightly on the door, waiting for Maggie’s assenting grumble before she let herself in.

Maggie sat cross-legged up against the headboard, wearing a much-too-large white linen shirt, her hair tumbling loose around her shoulders, a blanket tucked in tight around her waist and legs. It was, perhaps, the most undone and casual she had ever seen Maggie look in days, and it made her insides feel warm and her legs wobbly.

The only thing that ruined the intimacy of the moment was Maggie’s unsettled expression as she stared down at her phone.

“Hi,” T’Nia said quietly.

Maggie didn’t look up, but the line of her shoulders stiffened just so, and T’Nia barely resisted the urge to run to her wife to offer comfort. It was an old urge, one she’d not experienced in quite some time, and one she wasn’t exactly pleased to feel again. Maggie hadn’t had a lot of bad days in the past three years, hadn’t needed to go to therapy more than once a month in even longer than that, but the risk of the depression hitting her hard was always there.

“Hi,” Maggie finally said, glancing up from her phone for a second before directing her eyes back down.

“You doing okay, sweetheart?” T’Nia asked as she moved into the room, the door shutting with a soft click behind her. Even though she and Maggie didn’t actually spend much time in San Diego and even less time staying with Ende, the room was still cozy and warm and was quite similar to their own bedroom back in L.A.

“Julie called,” Maggie said, still not looking at her, “They need my help locating—” She bit her lip and sniffed, “Jacob Tafani.” T’Nia stood rooted to the spot, warring with her instinctual response to rage that Julie had exposed Maggie to a trigger like that so blatantly and her urge to run and comfort Maggie.

“Why—are you—” she stuttered ineloquently, but Maggie mercifully shook her head before T’Nia managed to stutter her way through the question.

“They think they’ve found the ghost who ordered them killed,” she explained. “And I’m not… I want to help them. They deserve to know what happened.” She looked up at T’Nia with shiny, wet eyes and whispered, “I… I’m just scared of what it’ll…” She shook her head again and choked, “I don’t want to go back there, T’Nia. I can’t go back there.”

She exhaled shakily. “Does it make me terrible to not want to? He’s my brother, I—”

T’Nia still felt shaken, unsteady and unsure of how to respond to her wife, but she moved towards her anyway. “Reggie loves you,” she said in a soft voice. “If you tell him this is… this is too much, he’ll understand. He’d never ask you to do this if you said it was too difficult.”

Maggie looked down and away, and T’Nia knew she was repressing her instinct to wave away T’Nia’s concern, her reassurance that Reggie wouldn’t want her to do anything she didn’t want to.

She was drawn from her thoughts when Maggie touched her hand to T’Nia’s lightly. “I know he wouldn’t ask me to,” she said quietly, seriously. “But... I want to help them too. Julie can’t get into the prison, I’m the only one who’s been there before. We know he’ll talk to me. It’s just not… not great.”

“No,” T’Nia agreed. “No, it isn’t.”

She looked down to their hands and swallowed thickly. “You know that I just want what’s best for you,” she then said in a rush of words. “Don’t you? And your brother adores you. No one is going to be angry with you for making this choice for yourself. No one will be offended if you can’t do this.”

Maggie smiled tremulously. “I hope so.”

---------------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (5:17 p.m.) REGGIE

There were shiny tear tracks on Alex’s cheeks and the whites of his eyes were more red than white, and Reggie had never seen him look this miserable—not when Luke had broken up with him, not when Alex had explained, tears in his eyes, that his parents weren’t okay with him being gay, not when he’d broken up with Reggie, sad and apologetic—and he hated it.

He didn’t want Alex to be miserable.

“Willie’s gonna understand,” he urged, pushing himself off from the arm of the couch, arms still clasped tight against his body, and taking a tentative step forward towards Alex, who looked at him, eyes wide and unsure and filled with pain, but didn’t move back. “You and I both know he’s—he’s the coolest guy ever. He’s angry and he should be, you know, I did kiss his boyfriend, but—”

He breathed in shakily, hands trembling when he unwound his arms from around his own torso to reach for Alex before thinking better of it and pulling his hand back again.

“Alex,” he whispered, keeping their eyes locked as he took a tentative step closer. “I’m sorry,” he repeated the apology he’d been repeating for hours. “I’m sorry that I kissed you and screwed everything up for you and Willie. I’m sorry, Alex. I just got so confused when you—with—with everything.”

A tiny, involuntary sound fell from Alex’s lips and Reggie wished he was brave enough to reach out to comfort him again, to show him that Reggie could deal with whatever leftover feelings he still had—he’d been able to do it thus far, and he could do it again. “We don’t have to do this,” he continued, ignoring the wobble in his voice as he pressed on, desperate to make Alex smile again. “We’re not—you broke up with me for a reason, and I should—I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have pushed.”

He swallowed thickly and looked down at his hands. “Doesn’t matter why, right? We broke up. We moved on.” His voice broke and his breath caught for a long, distended moment—he felt dizzy and afraid but also strong because he should have said these things hours ago, before he kissed him—before Alex lifted his free hand and lightly brushed his fingers across Reggie’s cheek, and Reggie’s breath left his lungs in a rush.

“Maybe,” Alex whispered. “But I still did it for the wrong reasons. And I lied to both of us. I thought,” Alex hesitated, “I thought you were okay with us breaking up. You’ve joked about it, you’re—you’re with Luke, you’re in love with Luke.”

“Because I thought we broke up because you weren’t in love with me,” Reggie replied unsteadily. “I thought you didn’t feel the same way I felt—I’m not a masochist, Alex, I don’t actually enjoy unrequited love. You told me it was over and I tried to move on.”

“Did you?” Alex implored, his eyes wide and so scared and confused that it made Reggie’s heart clench.

“Yeah, I mean, I—I thought you didn’t love me, that you knew how I felt about you and… and didn’t want that,” he began, though he was hesitant, because he wasn’t sure about any of this, wasn’t sure how to describe his feelings for Alex anymore.

“I didn’t think you wanted to schlep me off on Luke the second you figured out how he felt about me.” The words were deliberately blunt and Reggie hated the way Alex flinched away, but he followed, staying close, not quite touching but close enough to feel the muted warmth from Alex’s skin radiating onto his own.

He’d promised Luke they’d start figuring this out and Reggie wanted to.

“That’s not—Reg, of course I loved you. I loved you so much—” Alex tried, but Reggie was on a roll, was getting out all the things he wished he’d said back then, and he couldn’t stop.

“But not enough to fight for me,” Reggie interrupted. “Not enough to want to fight to keep me. I was yours, Alex. You wouldn’t have had to fight at all; you should’ve just talked to me.”

“Reg...”

“Why wasn’t I—why weren’t we worth fighting for, ‘lex?” His voice shook as he spoke and maybe he’d have been embarrassed if it’d been anyone but Alex hearing him like this, but it was Alex. Alex had held him when he cried hundreds of times, had seen Reggie make a fool of himself a thousand times over, had seen him at his most vulnerable after his dad kicked him out and took care of him—there wasn’t much Reggie was ashamed to show in front of Alex.

Alex gave him the kind of heartsick expression he’d given Reggie the night he broke up with him, and this time he didn’t hesitate when he stepped closer, pressing both hands to Reggie’s cheeks. “Alex,” Reggie whispered, feeling off-balance and a little shaken and just a little afraid, because they’d screwed up once already today, and he wanted—

He wanted everyone to be okay, he wanted to stop hurting Luke and Willie and Alex and himself and he wanted to be sure.

“We were,” Alex said softly, intensely. “We were—you were. And I wanted to, but…” He shook his head and admitted, “I was scared. I knew how you felt about Luke because you’d always been honest about it, and when I found out how he felt, I—”

“You ran,” Reggie whispered. “Like you always do.”

Alex looked taken aback. “Reg, I don’t—”

“Yeah, you do,” Reggie nodded, and he swallowed thickly, looking away. “You always had one foot out the door. You spent our entire relationship running away from me, from us, Alex. Every time things were hard, or complicated, you’d run. The only thing different about the breakup was that I stopped chasing you.”

“That’s what you thought?” Alex choked, looking aghast as he stared at Reggie. “That I—that you were the one chasing me the entire time we were together?”

“Wasn’t I?” Reggie demanded, pushing away from Alex to settle back down on the couch. “Like when I told you how I felt about Luke, you stopped talking to me outside of band practice for two weeks, and when my dad kicked us out, you got so up in your own head you convinced yourself I’d break up with you so you tried to leave me first and I… I tried to keep you every time. By the time we broke up, I figured… I figured maybe I’d been trying to fight off the inevitable anyway.”

He drew his lower lip between his teeth and wrapped his arms around himself, blinking hard against the burn of tears in his eyes.

“Reggie,” Alex whispered, sounding devastated, and Reggie had barely had the chance to look up at him before Alex was suddenly on his knees in front of him, his hands large and warm on Reggie’s thighs. “I’m sorry,” Alex continued, his blue eyes wide and sincere, “I’m sorry I made you feel like I wasn’t all-in. I was—I really, really was. I wanted—I wanted us to be real, but—”

“We were real,” Reggie interrupted hoarsely. “It was real to me, Alex.”

Alex’s eyes were glassy with tears as he whispered, “It was to me too, Reg. I think… I think I got scared of how real it was.” He looked down and reached out to take Reggie’s hand, tangling their fingers together. “Maybe… I got so freaked out when I realized how Luke felt because… because it’d change everything. If he told you and you picked him, I—” He broke off and looked away, and Reggie’s heart ached, but Alex just exhaled a shuddering breath before continuing, “But if you didn’t—if you’d have picked me, us…”

“No denying how serious that would’ve been, right?” Reggie whispered.

Alex shot him a watery smile. “I told you,” he whispered. “You scare me, sometimes.”

Reggie exhaled a sob and nodded before slipping off the couch and throwing his arms around Alex, burying his face in Alex’s shoulder. They hadn’t hugged like this, just the two of them, since the last time Reggie had spent the night with Alex, a week after they’d broken up, and Reggie had almost managed to forget how much he loved Alex’s hugs.

Alex took a second to catch up, to process what was happening before he wrapped his arms around Reggie’s waist, clutching at Reggie just as tightly as Reggie clutched at him.

“I’m sorry,” Reggie whispered against Alex’s shoulder, digging his fingers into the soft fabric of Alex’s hoodie.

Alex huffed a breath and whispered, “Me too, Reg.”

Reggie had no idea how long they stayed like that, kneeling on the floor in front of the couch, wrapped in a tight hug before the door creaked open and Willie and Luke stepped in. Reggie pulled away from Alex slowly, something that felt a lot like guilt twisting his stomach at the expression on Luke’s face, even though they hadn’t been doing anything but hugging.

He pulled himself back up the couch and looked up at his boyfriend, who shot him a small, uncertain smile. “Hi,” he squeaked.

Luke shared a look with Willie before he crossed his arms over his chest. “Willie and I have some… concerns.” Willie nodded tersely without taking his eyes off of Alex, who stood beside the couch, fiddling with his rings nervously. “And ground rules,” Luke added. “We’re—you guys have to figure out how you feel about each other, and about us, and we get that. But there have to be ground rules.”

“Anything,” Alex blurted, and Reggie nodded urgently.

“Nothing happens behind our backs,” Willie said, voice steady but clearly wrought with emotion. “I—we get that this is hard to figure out and that emotions can run high, but—”

“We’ll tell you everything,” Reggie promised immediately. “Everything.”

“And try to avoid kissing people that aren’t your boyfriend,” Luke piped in, chewing on his lower lip, and when Reggie looked up at him, Luke was looking back at him desperately, fingers twitching against his biceps.

“And be honest,” Willie whispered. “Whatever it is, please keep talking to us.”

Alex nodded wordlessly and that seemed to be all that Willie needed to throw himself into Alex’s arms. Alex let out a soft, hurt sound and caught him, wrapping his arms tightly around Willie and Reggie couldn’t help but smile because he could see the softened line of Alex’s shoulders, the tension that had drained from him the second Willie touched him.

Reggie still wasn’t sure what he felt for Alex anymore, but… he really did just want to see him happy.

He tore his gaze from Willie and Alex when Luke sat next to him, hands shaking and lower lip pushed out just a little into a tiny pout. “Hi,” Reggie said again, quietly, tentatively reaching out for Luke’s hand.

“Hey baby,” Luke whispered, tangling their fingers together.

“I’m—" Reggie began, but Luke shook his head, leaning forward to rest their foreheads together.

“I know,” Luke said, squeezing Reggie’s fingers. “I know, baby. I forgive you. We can—we’re going to figure this out. All of us.” He sounded so sure, so convinced, like he’d bend the rules of the universe itself to make things right, and Reggie believed him.

“I love you,” Reggie breathed hopelessly, because he did.

Luke huffed a laugh. “I know,” he said. “I know. I love you too, baby.”

----------

READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2) (3)

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

A Song Only You Can Hear

(1) (2) (3) (4)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT), HERE (UB) OR HERE (ASoYCH) on AO3 :D

#A Song Only You Can Hear #ASOYCH #julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #reggie/luke #Alex/willie #willex #ruke #reggie/Luke/Alex/Willie #ot4 #BamBat #BamBat sequel #peterpatter #Lisa writes #my writing

5 notes · View notes