"I shall be waiting for you. You know that when you come home, weary, with blood on your hands, I shall be waiting there among the birches. You will rest your head in my lap, and I shall kiss your burning forehead and wash the blood from you. I shall be waiting, and I shall love you."

—Pär Lagerkvist, The Eternal Smile: Three Stories

Bu bir acıydı, bir işkenceydi, uyanan yeni bir yaşamın ve eski bir yaşamın boğuntularıydı, içinde bir tür mide bulantısı duyuyordu -bir şey eriyip gidiyor ve bir bozulma halindeymişçesine değişiyordu. Ama değişen neydi ve nedendi bu değişim?

Pär Lagerkvist - The Sibyl - Vintage - 1963

Min älskade kommer inte åter, men min kärlek kommer åter till mig. Det jag levat kommer inte åter, men mitt liv är åter hos mig.

Pär Lagerkvist, Den lyckliges väg

Un desconocido es mi amigo uno a quien no conozco Un desconocido lejano, lejano por él mi corazón está lleno de nostalgia Porque el no está cerca de mi Quizá porque no existe? Quién eres tú que llenas mi corazón de tu ausencia que llenas toda la tierra de tu ausencia?

El desconocido | Pär Lagerkvist

“There were many killed and wounded on both sides and blood flowed in torrents. It was like a battlefield indoors among the decked tables, between drunken red-faced warriors who after sitting peacefully beside each other suddenly found themselves fighting desperately for their lives. Screams echoed from every side and drowned the groans and sighs of the dying. Appalling curses summoned all the devils in hell to this spot where the foulest of all crimes had been committed. I climbed onto a chair so as to get a good view of what was happening about me and stood there, frenzied with excitement, surveying the tremendous results of my work: the extirpation by me of this loathsome race which deserves nothing else. I saw how my mighty sword went forth over them, pitilessly destructive, demanding vengeance and punishment for everything. How I dispatched them to burn eternally in the fires of hell! May they burn forever! All these creatures who call themselves men, and who inspire such disgust and nausea! Why should they exist? Why should they revel and laugh and love and overrun the earth? Why should these lying dissemblers and braggarts exist, these lustful shameless creatures whose virtues are even viler than their sins? May they burn in the fires of hell! I felt like Satan himself, surrounded by all the infernal spirits invoked at their nocturnal meetings, swarming around them with grinning faces, dragging their souls still hot and stinking from their bodies, down into the kingdom of death. I felt my temporal power with a joy greater than I had ever known, and so acute that I nearly lost consciousness. I felt how the world had, through me, been filled with terror and doom, and transformed from a brilliant feast to a place of fear and destruction. I brew my draught and princes and powerful nobles groan in their death pangs or wallow in their blood. I offer my potion and the guests at the lavish tables grow pale and their smiles fade and none raises his glass again or prates of love and the joy of living. For after my drink they forget all the beauty and wonder of life and a mist enfolds everything and their eyes fail and darkness falls. I turn down their torches and extinguish them so that it is dark. I assemble them with their unseeing eyes at my somber communion feast where they have drunk my poisoned blood, that which my heart drinks daily, but which for them spells death.” (p. 152 - 154)

Today I started reading a Swedish novel from the 40's that I bought on a whim at a bookstore in Massachusetts not too long ago.

Chi sei tu che colmi il mio cuore della tua assenza? Che colmi tutta la terra della tua assenza?

Pär Fabian Lagerkvist, da Uno sconosciuto è il mio amico

Anche se percorri la terra tutta intera , non imparerai mai tante cose quante ne imparerai dal mare. Non troverai mai pace, se non sul mare... Che da parte sua... non ha mai pace.

- Pär Lagerkvist

Happy 🌊🍹🐬weekend

Even if you travel the whole earth, you will never learn as many things as you will learn from the sea. You will never find peace, except on the sea... Which for its part... never has peace. -Pär Lagerkvist-

In Honor of my Nordic Literature, History, Geography, and Linguistics exam on Thursday. Here are some of the books I read so far:

Henrik Ibsen - A Doll's House (1879) Although this is a theater play. I really loved it to be honest with you. It felt very contemporary despite being set in the 19th century. It's the definition of a humanist play/novel.

Jonas Gardell - Don't Ever Wipe Tears Without Gloves (2012-2013) This book is made up of a series called Love, Disease, and Death. It was very emotional and beautiful. It reminded me a lot of a TV show called ''It's A Sin'' or ''Pose''

Henning Mankell - Faceless Killers (1991) They say that Swedish crime fiction is the best in the world and they didn't lie. This book was very intense, sad, and well done in my opinion.

Pär Lagerkvist - The Dwarf (1946) Set in my home country, the book really analyses hate in a very deep way. It was definitely a great reading for sure

Selma Lagerlöf - The Wonderful Adventures of Nils (1906) This other book was another great discovery. It's really beautiful and it kinda reminded me of Pinocchio a bit. I loved it honestly

Karin Boye-Kallocaina (1940) Published at the beginning of World War II, this book really focuses on the horrors of authoritarian regimes. I guess this book was the inspiration for George Orwell's 1984

Ludvig Holberg - Niels Klim's Underground Travels (1741) This other reading was really good as well. The plot was very reminiscent of an underground Robinson Crusoe. However, I think this other book was the inspiration for Jules Verne's novel

Snorri Sturluson - Prose Edda (Early 12th Century) This one is a must. If you're interested in Scandinavian Literature and Cultures, this one is the best choice. This book has a mixture of Christian elements but mostly Norse mythology. This is the book where all the Norse myths come from.

The exam will be on Thursday. I hope it goes well !!

Anche se percorri la terra tutta intera,

non imparerai mai tante cose

quante ne imparerai dal mare.

Non troverai mai pace se non sul mare,

che da parte sua non ha mai pace.

- Pär Lagerkvist

Var är den glädje, djupare än sorgen, den glädje som jag söker och skall vinna. Min själ förblöder i den tysta natten; men utan oro. Ljuset skall mig hinna.

Pär Lagerkvist, Den lyckliges väg

(...) Si le pregunto: ¿A dónde vas, a dónde? se sonríe no más, plácidamente, sin dejar de partir quién sabe a dónde.

Le grito con angustia: Mírame aquí, viviente, vivo. ¿A dónde quieres que te siga? –Y con risa mustia, "Tú no eres yo" –doliente me responde.

Pär Lagerkvist

Niente è certo quanto il fatto che saremo dimenticati.

|| Pär Lagerkvist

"Miłość ludzi do siebie jest dla mnie czymś niezrozumiałym. Napawa mnie obrzydzeniem."

Pär Lagerkvist