#orcs? lame
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please someone help I'm about to play the nautiloid for like the fifth time because I cannot fucking settle on a Tav.
#baldurs gate 3#im being serious i hate that im like this#first was a half orc paladin#but i didnt like how paladin kept talking about how great they are at judgement#tiefling monk#monk is awesome bit shes not s character shes just aesthetic choices i made in customization screen#tiefling barbarian i loved but its redundant with karla#half elf druid but that feels lame#i dont like masc half orc faces is the problem
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its always important to ask yourself “would this monster design be improved if i gave it human/extremely human-like hands and then put them in a weird spot”. the answer is almost always yes
#not for werewolves tho they need their fluff#if you make them too people-y its just lame#if you give a werewolf normal people hands you better be compensating for wolf traits elsewhere#why am i talking about this im not even designing a werwolf#im gonna draw up and compare the designs w n w/o the hands later this week to see if they have the effect i want#bc sketchbook sketches dont really get me very far here#ill have to ask orc when hes physically and emotionally available which one he thinks are better#i respect his opinion as a character designer deeply
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vtubers aren't actually as cringe as you want them to be especially indie vtubers lol. there's very much a critique to be had of the cutesy designs and baby voices some of them do+why they do that. and there's very much a critique to be had of the insane idol culture a small but significant group of fans perpetuate. but outside of that on the whole it's literally just "streamer that isn't showing their real face." nobody has a problem with that when you use a cartoon animal doodle stand-in. if i told you there's an orc vtuber you'd probably think that was cool because he's "doing something interesting with it." and i can agree with that. but if you've got an actual problem with the idea of using an anime character avatar in and of itself, that's on you for being so self conscious about liking anime as a teenager that as an adult you can't even witness someone else having fun without reminding them that they're lame nerds.
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there's something just amazing about john gaius being all "i saved the world, but not for me", blatantly riffing off of lord of the rings, which no one will ever call him on, bc he's the only person who remembers lord of the rings. to make matters worse better more, he's not even quoting the book. he's quoting the movie. so lame, you think, and then you remember where the movies were filmed and about the hobbit tax and the maōri stuntpeople who only ever got to play "evil ugly" orcs and easterlings and all of that and oh boy it's all connected here isn't it
but it also is unambiguously hilarious of him to compare himself to frodo. it's like if frodo set out to destroy sauron but orcs kept trying to arrest the fellowship and call him a charlatan on the middle earth news or whatever and also halfway through he gets hit up by gondor and they tell him that denethor just died and they need him to use the ring to reanimate his corpse and he just does it. and in the end frodo loses it and destroys all of middle earth except sauron who runs away on a spaceship
#posts by me#locked tomb#caveat: he's the only person in the empire who remembers lotr. BOE might have a fragmented copy around ironically enough#BOE operative named#hallowed be thy name hey now you're an all star i'm glad you're with me samwise gamgee
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Title: Brave [2 of ?]
Pairing: Orc!Steve x Reader
Summary: As you begin to acclimate to life in the pack, your new leader seems to take a keen interest in your ability to survive.
Warnings: 18+ Only, Genre typical violence, Warlord Nomad AU, Dark Fantasy AU, Enemies to lovers, Eventual smut, References to past abuse
A/N: i really hope you guys enjoy this next piece! mind the warnings ❤️
You run your tongue across your chapped lips before reaching for the skin of water hanging from a long strap across your shoulder. The liquid inside is over-warm from the sun hanging mercilessly overhead, but you are grateful for it still.
Where are we even going?
The river had been days ago—three, perhaps four at your best estimation—and the pack had been pushing on ever since, riding out into the grass sea further than you had ever thought possible. When you had asked, your father had told you simply that there was nothing out there, his breath stinking of ale as he reminded you to keep your mind to your housework, else he would ensure you found out for yourself. And now, for all the fates cruel humor, you had found out anyway.
You had been spared death at the river, but the same luck that had kept you breathing now also bound you to the blue-eyed-orc and his pack. You had tried twice already to sneak away in the darkness, only to find yourself practically nose to nose with your captor, his eyes bright even in the dark.
Dangerous out there in the dark, Sweetmeat, he’d said, turning you around with one huge hand on your shoulder, tapping the flat of his blade against your backside as your cheeks flamed with hot anger and embarrassment. If you’re looking to raise an army for vengeance, you should ride in daylight. Even now, your face heats with anger. You had no intention of riding to the capital to raise the alarm—even if you knew how to get there, you doubt anyone would care for the fate of a tiny village in the borderlands.
You slip dangerously in the saddle, yelping as you grab for the reins, righting yourself. You had never ridden a horse before now, much preferring to watch the huge beasts from afar rather than subject yourself to them up close. The stallion beneath you seems to know it, tossing his head irritatedly as you pull back haphazardly.
“I’m afraid the saddle is too big for you.” The voice startles you, and you almost slip down out of the saddle again as you whirl to look at its source. Mirthful blue eyes meet your own. “We shall have to find you a smaller one.”
You glare at him, your mouth stubbornly shut.
“Oh come now. Are you still angry about last night?” He makes no effort to hide his amusement. You keep your jaw locked, refusing to answer—which only serves to amuse him further. Finally, your ire loosens your tongue.
“You would have killed me three days ago,” you bite out through gritted teeth. “And left my corpse in the dirt.”
“Aye,” he answers, cocking his head. “Yet I did not.” Somehow, this enrages you even more.
“You hunted the others for sport—” You half choke on the words. “You ran them down like dogs.”
“What use is a lame horse, Sweetmeat?” He asks. “Or a dog that won’t hunt?” There is no derision in his words, only indifference. “I cannot ask my riders to carry that burden.”
“So you kill them.”
“Aye.” You see reflected in his eyes the same cool apathy a wild dog might give a rabbit. “Would you ask a wolf to apologize for feeding its strongest cubs, Little One?” You bristle, but he continues before you can speak. “Perhaps because it is removed from you, you do not see it. But I have seen it. I have seen your great cities of men, and the bodies that line the ditches of their streets. There is death for them everywhere.” You want to deny the truth of his words, but they settle on your skin like oil. “Better a quick death by my steel than a slow one beneath the heel of the man you call King.”
He stops his horse, and you mirror him, watching the orc warily.
“If you wish to return to it, you’ve my blessing to do so, Sweetmeat. May you go and die in whichever way seems best to you.”
You are overcome with the urge to dig your heels into the stallion’s sides and take off, to cut through the swaying sea of grass like a clean blade—but you hesitate.
Your life in the village had been one of little note and much misery; tending to your father as he sickened himself with either too much ale or for the want of it as the days ground on and on. You’d felt little sorrow at his passing, considering he’d blacked your eye only three days prior. There were, no doubt, several villagers that had escaped on horses of their own, racing back toward the mountain to warn others of the orc-pack roaming the borderlands. You suppose you could rejoin them—the same people who had watched as your father’s druken rages consumed him and done nothing to help you.
Your skin prickles with distaste.
“No?” He asks after a lengthy silence. “Then let us ride on.”
You watch sullenly as he takes his place at the front of the group, the other riders falling into a loose line behind him.
—
No one offers to help you as you struggle down from your horse when they break to make camp, and you drop unceremoniously to the ground. For the most part, the rest of the pack ignores you completely, regarding you with the same indifference one might pay a rock as they go about setting up their bedrolls and hobbling the horses. They dwarf you as you all line up to fill your water skins, and the one with chestnut hair—-the blue-eyed-one had called him Buck—narrows his eyes at you.
“What’d you do to earn water today?” He sneers. “Get to the back. We’ll see if we have any left for you.” You dig your heels in gritting your teeth despite your fear. The protestation is there on your tongue, but before you can voice it, someone else speaks instead.
“Give her the water, Bucky.” The blue-eyed-orc rests a hand on his shoulder.
“Steve, she will do nothing but slow us down and rob us of our food, our water—”
“Calm, Bucky.” He holds up a hand. “The human will hunt tomorrow, and tomorrow she will earn it. Tonight, give her the water.” For a moment there is tension between them, a charged current you can’t see, but it soon breaks. Reluctantly, Bucky fills your water skin, shoving it into your hands with a grimace.
“It was fine to give her Roth’s horse—he fell, he’s got no need for it now,” Bucky spits irritatedly. “But Tarrath’s a fortnight’s ride from here. She’s going to need to earn her water.” He frowns at you. “Like the rest of us.” Steve nods his understanding.
“Aye. She will. Consider it half my portion.”
Angrily, you shuffle back over to your horse and begin unstrapping your bed-roll from its back. Nothing has been said outright, but you sleep away from the others, setting your roll up at the edge of camp. You know you aren’t welcome. You know you shouldn’t care at all for your usefulness, but you aren’t sure you’d fare any better wandering the grass sea alone. Your horse—Roth’s horse—stares down at you judgmentally while you wind the length of rope around his front legs, and you frown deeper.
“Even the blasted horse,” you mutter, kicking aside a few loose rocks as you lay down the roll beside him. You don’t know how to hunt—it wasn’t as if your father had taught you, and you doubt he had the knowledge to do so in the first place. There is large bow strapped to the saddle, thus far untouched by you, and gently you undo the bindings. It is heavier than it looks, and you hold it aloft clumsily, the string biting hard into your fingers as you struggle to draw it back.
“You won’t catch anything like that.”
You don’t turn to look at him.
“You didn’t have to give me your water. Steve.” He chuckles at the sound of his name on your lips.
“I won’t be doing it again, Sweetmeat. So you’d better learn how to use that thing.” This time you do turn. He is closer than you anticipated, and you squeak with surprise as he plucks the bow from your hands with ease. “Hold it up, like this.” He draws the string back, the muscles rippling across his bare chest. “This is the sight, here, this notch.” He runs his thumb over the place where the arrow head will sit. “Come.”
When you don’t move, he grips your hands firmly, winding them around the bow.
“Like this, put your hand here.” His hand curls over yours, covering it completely. You’re practically trembling when he pulls away, your palms sweaty against the lacquered wood. “One last piece of advice, Sweetmeat.”
“What?”
“Don’t miss.”
to be continued
next
#chris evans#chris evans fandom#chris evans fanfiction#cevans fandom#cevans fic#steve rogers#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers x you#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers smut#steve rogers au#steve rogers x y/n#captain america#boxofbonesfic#bones drabbles#Orc Au#Brave fic
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Ooh how about a Ranger!Tav who hunts undead (like Vampire Lords 👀) x Astarion?
This is the ultimate monster-hunting duo! Though, Rangers are known to be a bit lame in DnD. If it isn't their favored terrain or favored enemy - they are fucked up.
And Tumblr ate the first rough draft, which caused me some psychic damage.
What if Ranger!Tav is a member of some party of heroes, like "Vox Maquina"? And just can't wait to reunite with their former companions?
Masterlist
Headcanons
Astarion x Ranger!Tav
You never had a chance to talk about your future together. It's not like any of you expected to survive and not be turned into Mindflayers.
When Astarion runs away from the sun, you rush to find him but lose track.
Cities aren't your favored terrain.
Astarion returns to the Elfsong Tavern three days later - he looks like a beaten stray cat.
You cuss him. Use all the known slurs.
Why didn't he come back the first day? Why did he disappear?
You thought he'd died! Burnt to ashes!
He is shocked.
He has never thought his actions could hurt you. He thought you would be better without him.
You drag Astarion to the bathroom, and, while helping him scrub himself, you finally start talking about your own past.
Something you never really mentioned before.
You have home.
Rather a home base but still home
You have a family.
Rather, a group of weirdos who happened to meet each other years ago and call themselves the Brotherhood of Shadows.
Yes, the name was chosen by a Bard. No one had better suggestions, but you know it's stupid.
There is also a Fighter, a Bard, a Cleric, and a Sorcerer. Together you hunt monsters, bad guys, and protect the common people.
You know, eat the rich and distribute their money among the poor.
And you are coming back.
Astarion is hesitant. He isn't ready to share you. And what if those friends of yours won't accept him?
What if years of friendship are a counterweight to this month of passionate love?
They are monster hunters! Monster hunters don't accept monsters at their homes.
What if one of them is in love with you?
But you still ask him to give it a try.
Astarion prays to all the gods to make the journey as long as possible.
Deep within, he knows he will lose you.
Suddenly, he notices a raven, circling above you.
"Black Death!" you exclaim, stretching out your hand.
"It's my pet raven, Black Death. Black Death, this is Astarion".
"Death, death, death," repeats the raven, staring at Astarion.
Then the raven soared into the sky and disappeared.
The next day a Half-Orc Sorcerer rushes toward you, yelling "Tav! Tav is that really you?!"
Astarion stands aside, feeling like a fifth wheel, while you and your old friend share news.
"Listen about this man with me…"
"A vampire? So, you've rejected all the men who ever dared to approach you, including myself, and found yourself a vampire?"
Astarion feels a wave of anger. He already doesn't like your friends.
But the next moment, the Half-Orc stands in front of him, friendly insisting on joining the Brotherhood.
"Besides, I can't believe there have been so many wild bloodsuckers in these woods. It's good to have a vampire of your own to deal with them, am I right?"
Apparently, no one objects to a vampire in their small army of weirdos.
Or maybe they love Tav so much they are ready to accept anyone she brings along.
"Sign me up for the next Mindflayer's attack. I want to get a man, too!" the Cleric jokes.
Astarion sleeps in your room. When the Brotherhood leaves at daylight, Astarion stays to keep an eye on the homebase.
And he talks to possible contractors, demanding to be paid more than they expect.
He is insufferable in the best meaning of this word.
Astarion makes friends.
He often talks about magic and history with the Sorcerer. Or arguing with the Bard ( they have so much in common it pisses them both off)
Astarion feels at home. He has family, he has friends, he has a person to love and hold.
Even Black Death accepts him as his master, though Astarion isn't always capable of communicating with the bird.
Often, you go on night walks together into the woods, an, since you are both horny as nine hells, it often ends not as expected.
You are switches - both hunters and both prey.
Sometimes Astarion "hunts" you - a murderous vampire chasing a helpless Ranger to subdue to his power and hunger.
Then it's your turn - you are a monster hunter, and no vampire has ever escaped you.
Even the Bard calls you freaks when you return at sunset both covered in dirt (and, probably, other fluids under your clothes).
Astarion cares about you deeply - always making sure you are healed before you embark on another adventure.
And he is the one who nurtures you if you are sick or wounded.
He likes being a hero. He likes being a caregiver, both roles he once despised.
--
Tag list
@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati
#astarion#baldur's gate 3#bg3 astarion#astarion romance#bg3#astarion bg3#astarion headcanon#baldurs gate 3#astarion headcanons#astarion x tav#astarion x f!tav#tav x astarion#spacebarbarian headcanon#astarion x gn!tav#astarion x gn reader#astarion x reader#dnd#baldurs gate astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion baldurs gate#astarion brainrot#astarion fanfiction#astarion fluff#astarion imagine#astarion x female reader#dnd ranger#oc tav ranger#ranger tav
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Okay it's after 1am and I've had a lot of wine so obviously it's time for a late night wall-of-text post, but this time it's less likely to piss off your weird uncle or whatever because once again, I gotta talk about the best $4.99 a month I've ever spent.
Please, if you haven't yet, I'm begging you to look into all of the incredible content available on the Dropout.tv streaming service (formerly known as College Humor) . Not only did Whose Line Is It Anyway's Wayne Brady say that the Dropout crew are the only ones doing improv comedy on the same level as Whose Line, but they were also one of the only studios/streaming services allowed to work during the writers' strike because their contracts went above and beyond industry standards. (And, from my own observations, Dropout LOVES hiring queer, trans/nonbinary, and BIPOC performers + crew. Obviously I don't know much about the industry, but they seem like one of the most inclusive companies in Hollywood.)
"Alex, thanks for the recommendation! What shows do they have that you think I'll like?" Oh, you're asking me to gush about my favorite tv shows? Don't mind if I do!!!
Are you D&D curious, but took one look at actual play shows like Critical Role and thought "6 hours an episode? and there's like 750 episodes or whatever? oh baby not my adhd ass..." Don't worry, me too (sorry CR I love you I promise). But Dropout has a show called "Dimension 20" where comedians play Dungeons and Dragons with emotional, immersive storytelling, gut-busting laughs, and spectacular set design that makes you forget it's a fully improvised series controlled by the roll of the dice. They even did a miniseries perfect for D&D beginners called "Dungeons and Drag Queens" where absolute novices and Drag Race royalty Jujubee, Monet X Change, Alaska Thunderfuck, and Bob the Drag Queen embark on an adventure full of mystery, intrigue, and stupidity. I mean, Alaska plays a muscle-bound, axe-wielding, caveman-grunting Orc named Princess, what more could you want? Plus, the primary game master Brennan Lee Mulligan is so easy on the eyes. Oh, you're not into dorky ginger dudes? How about Aabria Iyengar, a 6 foot tall goddess who's equally as nerdy as Brennan but loves basketball. that's right, if nothing else, there's eye candy for every person in every season.
"Oh, why aren't there any good game shows on TV?" you wonder, wishing that the Game Show Network could come up with something that isn't a lame remake of a free-to-play phone game. Well how about Game Changer, "the only game show where the game changes every show (except for [...] Game of Games, Taskmaster, and a few others that have come to light AFTER [Game Changer first aired]. That's right, [the] players have no idea what game it is they're about to play. The only way to learn is by playing, the only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning." And yes, I did sit there and watch the beginning of an episode to make sure I was accurately quoting Game Changer host (and Dropout CEO) Sam Reich's description of his flaghship game show that has THREE separate spin-offs. (for context, he only mentions the other shows that copied his in the one episode I pulled up to get an accurate quote. could you imagine how uncomfortable it would be if he said that every episode? hah!)
Are you more of a traditional Whose Line fan? Look no further than Game Changer spin-off Make Some Noise, where contestants act out "improvisational prompts that [they have] never seen before, isn't that right contestants?" ("We won't know if we've seen them before or not until we see them!" Brennan insists every time he's on...)
You like musicals but wish they were less... ya know, scripted? Check out "Play It By Ear", a fully improvised musical! (you may be familiar with its primary cast members Jess McKenna and Zach Reino from the podcast that inspired it all, "Off Book: the Improvised Musical Podcast with Zach and Jess")
Or maybe you're more into trivia, cuz you're a total nerd like me (and every single performer that's ever appeared on dropout.tv). How about "Umm, Actually" where contestants are given an incorrect statement and have to buzz in to correct it - but you have to say "Umm, Actually" first!
Straight up, you can't go wrong on Dropout. Please, check it out. They're nearly doubling the amount of original shows they have in 2024, and no other streaming service is doing it like them. If I haven't convinced you yet, get the 7 day trial and give em a chance. There's no referral code I can give you that gives me some sort of kickback or whatever, I genuinely wrote what looks like a thousand word essay about Dropout at 1am just because I love them so much.
youtube
#dropout.tv#umm actually#dimension 20#make some noise#game changer#brennan lee mulligan#aabria iyengar#for a late night wine-fueled rant on a broken keyboard i think this went well#actually i feel so guilty about my CR dig because i loved Exandria Calamity so much so please dont yell at me#also google said quiddie is exactly 6 feet i hope i did her justice
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Random ppl saying Karlach is “conventionally” attractive must live in an alternative reality I’m unaware of.
Is she stunning? Yes. But she does NOT fit into conventionally beauty standards for women (yes, even after her face change from EA).
Say you see a woman of color, way WAY taller than the average - let’s say 1.90m tall. She is visibly bulkier, has thick thighs, prominent abs. Wider shoulders than average.
Then, her skin (which again, isn’t white), is covered in marks. Scars, tattoos, discolorations and other “uneven” tones and textures.
On top of that, her entire right side is covered in ‘hideous’ burnt skin tissue. From her fingers to her ribs and half her chest.
But not all. She has metal pins and bits protruding from her due to some medical procedure you’re not familiar with.
And she might have facial scars too. On her very non-white facial features. Imagine she’s not only Asian - but the “wrong” kind of Asian (aka the darker side of Asia- not the mainstream-approved Japan or Korea). Maybe she’s even from the South Pacific islands.
Her hair is thicker, choppier.
And, beyond her appearance, she curses. She laughs loudly. She doesn’t act demure or quiet or feminine. She’s unapologetic about it, too. Proud of being physically stronger than most.
What an affront.
That is all to say… yes, she is stunning (to me and many of us). She’s especially more stunning BECAUSE she’s so off the scale of conventional beauty for women. You might have lived in a beautiful social bubble where women like Karlach are considered the prettiest there are, but even so, that’s not what the world at large sees as ideal beauty - for any gender, but more so for women.
That’s one of the big reasons I’m so into Karlach (and also why I have always had a soft spot for laezel too). They stick out like a sore thumb but they dgaf.
And to top it all, it’s one extra reason for me to ship the shit out of her and Astarion.
Astarion isn’t the conventional male handsomness but he does fall in a wider category of male beauty. He is the most popular male character and attracts both male and female fans.
I like him to fall for characters that would be considered way off the mainstream beauty scale. One thing I haven’t seen yet and want to do one day is make a half orc character to pair with him. Because fuck yes. And also because for me, Astarion does understand where beauty standards lay, but that lost meaning to him long ago. He’s capable of being petty and shallow but when push comes to shove, that’s not it for him.
Again, another reason as to why I’d think he’d fall head over heels for Karlach despite himself.
But yea. Going back to my point, no matter that WE think Karlach is pretty, cute, beautiful and gorgeous. That’s us being ::cough:: superior. But it doesn’t make her mainstream digestible beauty material (that’s lame shadowheart lol - sorry guys, sh is so boring to me).
Which in turn makes Karlach even more precious to me (and her and Astarion in love even more special 🖤).
Thats all the rant, for now.
#bg3#karlach#astarion x karlach#baldur's gate 3#karlach x astarion#hellspawn#starlach#astarlach#fireblood#bg3 opinion#opinion#rant ish
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What’s being pregnant with most of your OCs like? Who’s super gentle, attentive, protective, etc?
Also if you feel like answering, who is wanting or reluctant to take pregnancy glamor shots of us?
This is an entirely random selection of characters ｡：ﾟﾟ(´∀｀)･｡ just whatever came to mind
When I read this the first one that came to mind is Vylkas who is chaotic evil : he will murder anyone who looks at you, rubs your belly, makes any lame pregnancy jokes, or doesn't get up so you can sit down on the subway. It is his way. He would be more reluctant to take pictures because nobody gets to see your cute belly but him! If you insist, he would probably secretly murder the photographer afterwards, tbh
Idreod is deeply confused. He has no idea what to do with all of the love bubbling inside of him, which will express itself in extreme protectiveness. He will glare at anyone who looks at you and carry you around because he's convinced your feet might hurt or someone might bump into you, even if they don't. He will also be the one you catch silently staring at you from across the room with tears in his eyes. If you were able, he might actually take you back to your home planet for safety.
Pretty much all of the Orcs will be doting and protective, but mostly doting. You want a certain food? They are out climbing mountains, threatening shopkeepers, and doing whatever else it takes to cure your cravings. They're buying piles of maternity clothes so you feel comfortable and lots of little accessories like slippers, face masks, and headbands.
Hugo will be deeply, deeply turned on. Your tummy filled with his baby melts his brain, sending him lusting after you. Hugo is the pregnancy glamor shot guy ^_^ There will be photoshoots for every stage of pregnancy
Chase will enjoy all of the baby stuff-- painting the nursery, the pregnancy classes, ultrasounds. He will be there on time and ready to participate. He would also like pregnancy photos
Kostas would be so very, very proud of you. His little darling carrying his big baby would just drench his heart in warm fuzzies. He would very carefully research human pregnancy and try to supply all of the necessary equipment. He'd be extremely patient with your moods, as well.
Nasos would be utterly bewildered and confused, as if this wasn't a natural product of having sex. He would probably buy a ton of stuff, only about half of it actually useful and run around in a somewhat panicked state calling Kostas for advice every time something he didn't expect happens.
Severin and Cedar would be the most hands off outwardly, because they are proud of how strong and independent you are. There would be a lot more sneaking behind your back so stuff you need or want "magically appears" when and where you need it. When they get you alone though, everything would switch and they would be very eager to rub lotion on your belly and massage your ankles.
Heath would be extremely encouraging, helping you get your steps in and teach you different yoga exercises and breathing techniques. He would also be the one who brags the most about your pregnancy. At the shop, he would be keeping the little old ladies updated about the progress and how cute you look in all of your maternity clothes. He'd come home with all sorts of gifts and family secrets to help with morning sickness!
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"Humans are Space Orcs is an awesome Idea!!!" "Humans are Space Orcs is a lame idea!!!" But have you considered humans being space humans? Have you ever thought that two separate species would be so different that they will always lack the sufficient communication skills to describe themselves in a way other species will ever understand? Do you think a picture of an average human would evoke fear? Love? Hate? Misery? Ecstasy? Or is it foolish to assume they would feel emotions like we do, or even experience them at all? Do you think they've tried sending messages to us across space? That regard believers of extraterrestrial life as conspiracy theorists?
Have you considered the bitterness that humans and aliens will likely never meet or even understand each other, but the sweetness in the possibility that maybe, just maybe, they too share the desire to understand the unknowable, the mysterious, the completely alien, and that might just make us more special than any of our human customs and history ever could, without them even realizing that is the same aspect that makes us want to find them too? Have you ever thought about that?
#j rambles#this is probably gibberish#or stupid#very likely stupid#but oh well#humanity#alien#aliens#extraterrestrial#humans are space orcs#ponderings
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an OC of mine called C :)
she's a weaboo FREAK who runs a library. She wants to be swept off her feet by TRUE LOVE soooo so bad but she's so fucking lame and weird about it. Usually she's very reserved.... bitterest girl in town.... but if you ask her to infodump she WILL!
misc doodles + rambles below if ya don't wanna read through the doc lmao
She's called C.
Just C. Full name C Rodentia. nobody knows what it stands for but it's her name
Because her horns' pedicels didn't develop properly she didn't gain all the musclyness that orcs usually get, but she DID get the endurance, constitution, and pain tolerance. This means that whenever she gets the explosive anime nosebleeds™️ she's perfectly fine afterwards, she's also immune to vampires because of this. Not that she cant be turned into one but you cant drain her of all her blood.... she has so much.....
she's a stalker. a creep. a weirdo. i cannot emphasise this enough she is a FREAK who follows her crush (a pretty butch elf called assenzia) around with ye olde binoculars
in terms of actual character she runs a library and makes it a point to include banned books from elven history and culture, since she hates how much information is censored in schools and the public. She's usually the serene quiet librarian who will help you pick out a book that will change your life forever but if you ask she WILL recommend you the nastiest, filthiest, dirtiest vampire novels you will have ever read. When she's infodumping about history and her gripes about the education system she will NOT STOP TO BREATHE until shes blue. Even moreso when talking about a beautiful beautiful girl she saw in the market one day. like a freak <33333
anyway my weird mousy halfelf librarian for you yall, i totally do recommend her doc because it's a lot easier to process teehee
#cab blabs#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi oc#dungeon meshi#art cabinet#original character#OC#original character art#OC art
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I feel like the corn fight ends up being a good tone setter for the energy of our cast during freshman year
Fabian tries to be cool and show off by jumping on the tables but repeatedly biffs it and ends up getting fucking Eaten and has to rely on the others to save him.
Kristen does her cool Cleric stuff before tripping so hard that she dies, meets her god, realizes he's kind of lame, and then spirals into a crisis of faith.
Fig tries to be cool and contrarian but her fondness for Doreen ends up leading to her getting knocked out for the entire fight & she's really insecure about it.
Gorgug does pretty well for himself before dying and ending up in Orc heaven. But since he doesn't know what Orc heaven looks like he spends awhile thinking he went to hell.
Riz chooses to leap into a corn asshole and it somehow works out pretty well for him.
Adaine tries to preserve her self image as a prim elven young lady but then hits an old woman so hard in the face with a ladle that she fucking dies.
+ Aguefort has a long monologue that makes it incredibly unclear what he's going to do and if it's at all helpful to the situation at hand, before shooting himself and the guidance counselor in the head. And then he forces Kristen to smuggle him into heaven.
#I love the corn fight it was a perfect first fight for the series#you think it's gonna be funny haha corn fight#but then two of the players are dead and the cool lunch lady is dead and the principal just murder-suicided himself & the guidance counselo#I'm so very glad I went into fantasy high mostly blind#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high freshman year
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So I accidentally sent this ask before reading the rules in the ask blog so, if the tf2 gang woke up as monsters, what would they be and how would they react?
all good, it happens a lot more often than you think!
Scout: a satyr. once he gets over his initial freak out, he's actually loving it. the new legs help him run faster and jump higher than before. he spends most of the first day outside, seeing what all he can do. and is arguably the least happy when it comes time to turn back, and starts pouting over how lame his old legs were
Soldier: an orc. he loves his new body. he's bigger and stronger than ever, he feels as though he can run this team better than before. he feels powerful and as if nothing can stop him. the problem is, he can't speak. only grunt and roar and make guttural sounds. some of the team think it's an improvement, some argue it was no different than before. he doesn't like that he doesn't get a say in the team meeting on how to fix this
Pyro: a dragon. they're the one that woke everyone up and alerted them that something was happening. if only because they're trapped inside their bedroom, only able to fit their head outside the door. everyone congregates in the hallway, coming and going and hanging out there so they can be involved in what all is going on since they can't freely move about the base like everyone else
Demoman: a minotaur. when everyone woke up and rushed out in a panic, he didn't know anything was wrong. that was until he went to charge out of his door and his horns smacked into the door frame and knocked him back. he constantly forgets they're there, and that happens more often than he's willing to admit. he eventually learns to turn his head and slowly make his way through the doors instead
Heavy: a yeti. he's more cranky than anything. a yeti out in the desert isn't ideal. he spends more time complaining under his breath in Russian and sitting in front of every fan he can find or sticking his head inside the freezer to cool off. someones digs out Pyro's kiddie pool and whoever looks the least suspicious goes out to buy enough ice to fill it and let the man sit in it
Engineer: a cyborg. if he's honest.. nothing really changes. he's a bit freaked out at first, as expected, until he remembers that's more or less what he already was. he's content to continue on with life as such, and is reluctant to agree when they all turn back to normal
Medic: a vampire. he wouldn't have known anything was wrong until he found himself standing and staring hungrily into his fridge full of blood bags. he ran some tests and discovered something was very off. he still grabbed one of the blood bags and promptly went upstairs to figure out what they should do about this
Sniper: a lycan. everyone thinks he's fine, he even laughs about how everyone else was cursed and he wasn't. that was until conveniently the very next night was a full moon and everyone woke up to the sounds of something getting in the trash. no one would have assumed anything if it hadn't been for the fact his glasses were still stuck to his face
Spy: a naga. he absolutely refused to come outside. everyone tried convincing him that they were all cursed and it would be easier to find a cure if they knew what he was too. the angry rattling tipped Sniper off. he's the least happy about the predicament and the first to demand that someone do something to fix this
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 headcanons#tf2 scout#tf2 soldier#tf2 pyro#tf2 demoman#tf2 heavy#tf2 engineer#tf2 medic#tf2 sniper#tf2 spy#sharing one braincell#//if my boyfriend was active on here he'd side eye me knowing damn well why I picked what I did for Sniper
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bg3's character creator's super limited face options are so lame though. not only do they cause everyone's unmodded tavs and durges to look the same, but all the npcs share the same basic faces too. and you can just find your own player character's face on a random npc. i'm on my second playthrough and i'm so sick of seeing the same generic faces everywhere and recognizing who they "belong" to (=some specific npc that my brain has decided "owns" the face).
i can understand recycling faces for some random npcs that just speak one line, but the characters that return in almost every act and are tied to specific quests should have more unique features. it's kinda funny that zevlor is one of the lucky few with an unique face, but seems like his act 3 storyline didn't even make it properly to the game.
i also have to mention that as a woman, i'm disappointed how little variation there are in the options for "female" faces. apart from maybe few half-orc options, they are all really stereotypically feminine faces and generally just really pretty, even with the makeup removed. i always want to create a more butch/androgynous looking woman and there's not many options for that in the game.
i have seen similar (well, opposite?) opinions about the "male" faces too. they are all quite masculine, almost comically so! the people in charge of creating these face presets seem to have had a pretty narrow and traditional view of what women and men should look like. it's really disappointing for a game released in 2023, not to mention for a game that allows the player to choose non-binary/other for the player character's gender. despite that choice being there, you kinda have to choose between masculine or feminine face, there's not much room for middle ground.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3 txt#bg3 critical#i'm using the terms female and male very loosely btw lol#fem and masc didn't seem fitting in this context when i use feminine and masculine as adjectives to describe the faces' features#but the point is that the game basically just gives you two options with most of the races#do you want to look like a stereotypical man or a stereotypical woman#like yeah you can change the genitals and pronouns but that's about it#especially since even the clothes change to more revealing if you choose the 'female' body type#anyway i'm lucky that only maybe 3 tiefling npcs share my tav's face#which probably means my tav is lil bit ugly lmaoo#also congrats to rolan for having an unique face AND a full storyline that starts from beginning of act 1#and if everything goes well finishes at the final battle
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Rating Silm deaths
Miriel: 9/10 - Not a fun way to die but at least the child she died giving birth to was a special snowflake and not an average joe.
Finwe: 3/10 - Pretty lame if you ask me but gets points for trying to be a good dad.
Feanor: 11/10 - Spontaneously combusting sure sounds interesting. Athough it was stupid, I admire his bravery for fighting all those balrogs alone.
Elenwe: 6/10 - Poor thing. She was so brave going to middle earth with a bunch of crazy Noldor. The fanart of her death looks awesome though.
Argon: 7.5/10 - It’s said he killed an Orc Captain in the battle he was slain which seems pretty badass.
Fingolfin: 10/10 - Actually accomplished something by dying. Gets full points for his heroic sacrifice.
Angrod & Aegnor: 5/10 - I’m sorry my sweet summer children. You deserved so much better. Your deaths were unfortunately little more than footnotes though.
Aredhel: 7/10 - Took a Javelin to the shoulder to protect her son but I don’t see why she couldn’t have pulled both herself and her son out of the way.
Fingon: 8/10 - I cried like a b*tch when he died. His death sounded so painful, being held by a whip while being slaughtered by Gothmog.
Turgon: 2/10 - He got played like a fiddle by Maeglin.
Maeglin: 1/10 - Pfft. Lame. Imagine getting defeated and thrown off a wall by human with less than half your experience.
Glorfindel: 4/10 - Sorry dude. Your death wasn’t that cool. A million dudes guys died fighting balrogs and you weren’t the first to do it either.
Ecthelion: 15/10 - What a way to go out my guy. Imagine killing the dude who killed badasses like Fingon & Feanor. Wouldn’t have expected it from a happy little musician.
Finrod: 11/10 - Lmho. He went feral. Fighting a werewolf while naked and weaponless is sure something.
Celegorm: 1/10 - Turko, I love you but what a lame way to go out. A little baby half elf who might have been biologically full human completely owned you.
Caranthir & Curufin: ?/10 - We literally get no info on their deaths except that they died in a kinslaying.
Amrod & Amras: ?/10 - Same as Caranthir and Curufin.
Maedhros: 9/10 - I’m definitely not pro-suicide but his death just feels so right. Refusing to let go of the Silmaril despite the pain it’s causing him. A very fiery end for the hottest Feanorian.
Celebrimbor: 8.5/10 - It was brutal but it was far from boring.
Gil-Galad: 8/10 - I’d say it was pretty hot.
#miriel#miriel therinde#finwe#feanor#elenwe#argon#arakano#fingolfin#fingon#aredhel#turgon#maeglin#glorfindel#ecthelion#finrod#celegorm#maedhros#celebrimbor#gil galad#the silmarillion
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I've seen many many terrible TTRPG and specifically fantasy DND style TTRPG takes. Many of them repeatedly and some even almost seeming the popular stance. And most of the real worst ones involve the ways players treat GMs. But the one I personally hate the most because of how LAME it is as well as showing utter lack of imagination is whenever people talk about dark/gritty/mature or horror based campaigns and there's just this consensus that any ancestry outside like bog standard fantasy human/elf/dwarf/orc has no place in it for being "too silly"". Like I'm sorry you're so bad at this whole fantasy fan thing you can't take a bird person seriously even when the player behind them is being serious. This is even worse when I see it and they're actively choosing a fantasy setting but also seem to only want humans and whatever the horror thing is. Bestie I promise you "Play a system that represents what you want" isn't gatekeeping it's trying to help.
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