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girlscapitalism · 2 years

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RENAISSANCE, by Beyoncé

#beyoncé #wonderfulwoc #dailywoc #dailywomen #popularcultures #usermusic #beyonce #*medits #*m #only going to be talking abt this until the next forever #500 #1k #5k

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exopelagic · 2 months

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once again facing unstoppable force (anxiety-driven need to finish my work) vs immovable object (brain doesn’t wanna do anything but think abt little gay people)

#solution: write tumblr post #I JUST figured out a fix to my plot problem in this story I’ve been thinking abt #and I rlly rlly badly wanna start fleshing out these characters bc this is the story I’ve been most excited abt in a long time #it’s also combining a bunch of elements I’ve been playing with for a long time but never fit #and I am obsessed with all of the character concepts I have rn. there are 4 and this caters DIRECTLY to me #I’m getting much better at crushing the anxiety spikes that are uh. like. vaguely scrupulously ig that kept me from making things do ages #in favour of going hard on self indulgence and I’m having a great time #scrupulosity* as in i worry incessantly abt readings and sociopolitical implications until I’m just exhausted by the concept and drop it #sometimes you can just have fun luke it’s okay #but yeah I am!! and I wanna draw them all and do more stuff but #I have THIS FUCKING LECTURE. most boring frustrating man alive hislectures SHOULD BE GOOD but he SUCKS #he cannot get to the point and takes so many detours which are COOL but he’s so pretentious about it his lectures are PAINFUL #I get headaches within a few minutes of listening to him talk this hasn’t happened since I was sleep deprived in the v basic first year 9ams #and I’m on the last one. out of four. I have half an hour left. but this half an hour is insurmountable #and I gotta finish it bc I have so much other stuff to do (only two more lectures (better)!!! but also coursework now #which is easier!! and I know how to do both of them but it’ll take a chunk of time and I’m committed to getting it done by end of next week #okay. okay fine. I will watch this dumb fucking lecture and it will hurt #but once it’s done I will literally never have to listen to him talk again this is it forever. one last stretch #and then I can mess w my story while I have food. I can do this. pray for me #luke.txt

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horang-07 · 6 months

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FNAF SPOILERS! SCROLL! TALKING ABOUT THE SPRINGLOCK SCENE!

i’ve seen so many people discussing the springlock scene in both negative and positive ways and i think it brings up really cool points about how matthew played that scene and balanced fan expectations with his own characterisation.

i think the discussions around this movie have rlly exposed the disconnect between fanon and canon in fnaf, especially talking abt the core games in isolation, bc frankly in the game universe (ignoring the books) we get Very Little characterisation for William other than the obvious, but Matthew managed to add so much in the way he talks and his body language.

in the reveal scene, we see afton at arguably his peak. in his first scene, he comes off as somewhat demeaning and judgemental until he recognises mike’s name, at which point he seems to have this nervous energy, rushing to cover it up but stumbling slightly, his reaction to the tables being turned even slightly is massive.

this is a man who committed multiple mrdrs in essentially broad daylight, hid the bodies in the most obvious place, and still got away with it, and then kept the crime scene as a trophy of his actions, and an ongoing prison sentence for his victims. he has been in complete control for decades, and is confident that he can deal with any kind of threat quickly. his confidence in his reveal is palpable

it changes when vanessa shoots him. the whole parallel with vanessa and the animatronics is hugely interesting too- how william refers to the animatronics almost endearingly as “kids” when he wants them to obey, how both vanny and the animatronics have an unearned loyalty to him, almost a pseudo-adoption through what he did to them, taking them from their parents and keeping them under his thumb, forever stuck as naive, forgiving, obedient children. vanessa breaking from that control shakes him, but the mask slips back into place almost immediately.

then, he’s outsmarted by the brother of one of his victims, and the child he planned to end next. his pseudo-children turn on him and he can no longer manipulate his appearance or shed his skin to escape. he explodes on them, and his language is incredibly telling that he is being dishonest.

he calls them small, trying to belittle them into submission, even though they are ten feet tall metal animatronics powered by rage. he is grasping at straws to regain control, and failing miserably.

finally, the springlocks go off. the locks in the movie look more like a ribcage, so the first two likely puncture his lungs. they’re slow, and painful, but he doesn’t scream or beg or sob. he grunts and groans, gritting his teeth and only letting out sounds of pain that sound almost involuntary. there is no way in hell he would visibly let himself show weakness or pain in front of these creatures that he believes he has control over. he isn’t brought to his knees until there are eight metal spikes embedded in his abdomen. he doesn’t let the mask fall for even a second, until he literally PUTS THE ACTUAL MASK ON and finally collapses. even then, he’s fighting for consciousness, twitching and writhing with no control over his body. william afton thrives on control, and his soul will not rest until he gets it back.

it’s why he keeps the pizzeria- he always comes back. he can’t help but return to the scene of the crime, putting on his old costume, continuing his killings. he revels in being a constant threat on the horizon. and now, he knows he is going to die, and he knows the suit will bring him back, and noone will be able to get rid of him then. so he puts the mask back on, and waits.

in terms of the sfx- they’re pretty accurate. with stab wounds, you need to leave the knife in the wound as long as possible for best chance of survival, as it stops the blood from escaping. in terms of the springlocks, there wouldn’t be copious amounts of blood as the locks are keeping the wounds filled- which is good because it means a slower, more painful death.

#fnaf #fnaf movie #eden rambles #william afton #matthew lillard #springtrap #five nights at freddy's #fnaf spoilers #idk i thought it was a great scene #ppl just need to manage their expectations of what fnaf 1 Actually Is in isolation #not the years of other media and fandom and lore and theory #we literally saw him get springlocked one time in 8 bit with no audio and four frames. how is this worse in comparison #wanna make another post talking abt how the film explores images vs the reality when you look deeper #specifically abby and her drawings/the drawings at freddys vs mike’s motivation being based on the images he sees in his dreams #and how it’s so perfect for fnaf 1 being a game almost entirely made of just scary images without actually exploring the reality #that these robots are Children and Scared and Lost #tldr the fort scene was necessary

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aanoia · 1 year

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Hi, how’s your day going? Could you do a Mattheo riddle and Draco Malfoy fix where they accidentally stop paying attention to the reader and she thinks it’s something she did when I’m reality they are having a hard time processing their feelings for the reader. I hope that makes sense. It’s completely up to you if you want to do this!

Yes of course! Sorry it took forever to respond, I've been super busy moving and doing finishing touches on renovating my new house! I should be getting a lot of requests out soon, hopefully at least.

Also, my day was alright. How was yours?

Can't Help But Love You

Draco Malfoy x reader, Matteo Riddle x reader

Words; abt 700 each

Warnings; none

Yall I had to do research on how Matteo was bc ik nothing abt him, idek if what I wrote for him is anything like him so lemme know

Draco Malfoy

“So yeah, that’s why I absolutely hate her. Do you get it now?” Y/n asked Draco as she sat across him from the table, explaining why she hated Hermione Granger so much. He continued looking at his plate, not looking up. Y/n waved her hand in front of his face, “Hello?” He blinked and looked up.

“What?” He asked, his voice hoarse. He cleared his throat, “What?” he asked again, clearer this time.

“Were you paying any attention to what I just said?” Y/n questioned.

“Uh, what were we talking about?”

Y/n scoffed and shook her head, pushing her plate forward and standing up. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

“Wait, Y/n.” Draco said but she shook my head again.

“No, you keep ignoring me and I’m tired of it. I’m gonna go study. Bye, Draco.” Y/n walked off, leaving an exasperated Draco behind. Draco groaned and buried his head in his hands.

A few stray tears left Y/n’s eyes as she walked out of the Great Hall quickly. Draco hadn’t been paying much attention to her for weeks now and she couldn’t help but think it was something she did. She constantly replayed the last few months she had with him but couldn’t find anything she did, which only made it worse. She loved Draco. She was in love with him. He was her best friend. The boy she’s been secretly pining over since first year. It hurts that he’s just ignoring her now.

Y/n quietly sat in the Slytherin common room, seeking warmth from the fire. She flipped the page of her book as someone sat down in the large chair next to hers. She spared a quick glance up and immediately looked back down and continued reading.

“I’m sorry.” Draco whispered, just loud enough for Y/n to pick up on. She continued looking at her book, however her eyes no longer flit along the words. “I-uh, I don’t mean to ignore you. I’ve just been doing a lot of, uh, thinking. There’s something I need to tell you, and I need you to look at me when I do.”

Y/n sighed and put her now closed book on her lap. She turned her body and looked at Draco who had a serious, yet slightly nervous expression on his face.

“Go ahead.” She said and meant it to come out harsh, but her words were soft and comforting.

“So, um…” He rubbed his neck. “Merlin, this is hard. So I’ve been thinking-”

“Yeah, you said that.”

“No, you don’t talk until I say you can. I need to get this out, no interruptions.”

Y/n smiled slightly and pretended to zip her lips, lock them and throw the key. Draco’s posture softened.

“Okay. I feel something that I’m not so sure I’ve ever really felt. And it’s been really confusing and I don’t know what to do about it. I talked to Blaise and Matteo about it and they said- well they said-” He hesitated and Y/n urged him on with my hand. “They said I’m probably in love with you.” Her eyes widened slightly. “And I’ve been thinking about it a lot, that’s why I haven’t been paying much attention to you. But I’ve come to a conclusion. Y/n, there’s no probably. I am in love with you, and it scares me and I am so so sorry I’ve been ignoring you.”

Y.n stayed silent with a smile.

“Are you going to say anything?” Draco asked and she brought her hand to the invisible zipper and tried to unzip it but couldn’t due to the lock. Draco shook his head with a laugh and pulled something invisible out of his pocket. He pointed the invisible thing to her mouth. “Alohomora.”

Y/n smiled and unzipped her lips. Instead of talking though, she grabbed Draco by the face and pulled him to her, their lips meeting in a soft kiss. She pulled away after a few moments with a smile.

“I love you too, Draco.”

Matteo Riddle

Y/n sat at the Three Broomsticks, laughing with her girl friends. Her laughter halted as her eyes landed on Matteo Riddle who had just walked in. Her friends noticed and their laughter subsided as well.

Hermione grabbed Y/n’s hand from over the table, “Y/n, are you alright?”

“Matteo wasn’t as busy as he said.” She said, motioning in his direction with her head. Hermione and Pansy (who was sitting right next to her), turned their heads, whereas b/f/n just looked over, as she was already facing him.

“Ugh, that dick.” Pansy scoffed as she turned back around. “He’s such an ass.”

“While I do not appreciate the language, I agree with Pansy.” Hermione agreed.

“I can’t believe he said he was too busy to hang out then he comes here with his dimwitted friends.” B/f/n said while shaking her head. “It’s so messed up.”

Y/n shrugged, pushing down the hurt and mustering up the best smile she could. “It’s alright. Shall we go?” She asked and her friends nodded, placing some coins on the table for the butterbeer. Y/n grabbed her jacket and threw it on quickly before wrapping her Slytherin scarf around her neck.

B/f/n grabbed Y/n’s hand as they began making it to the door. Y/n spared one look up and met the eyes of Matteo, who looked at her in guilt. The cold air nipped at the girl's nose as she exited the warm pub, snowflakes immediately littering her hair and shoulders.

The group made it a few feet before the door burst open from behind them. The girls turned their heads to see a disheveled Matteo without a coat on. Y/n’s hurt quickly turned into anger as she scoffed and turned around, her friends following after her.

“No, Y/n wait!” Matteo called after them, grabbing onto her free hand. His hand was cold -colder than usual due to the freezing weather- but soft.

“No, Matteo. I’m busy.” Y/n said spitefully.

“Please.” He begged, moving in front of the girl. She hesitated, looking into his eyes before sighing. She motioned her friends to continue without her, but they stayed put.

“Guys it’s okay, I’ll meet you back at Hogwarts.” Y/n assured them and they hesitated before walking off.

Matteo grabbed onto Y/n’s other hand and walked her to the sidewalk so they weren’t standing in the middle of the road. She shook off Matteo's hands and crossed her arms.

“What do you want, Matteo?” She spat angrily and Matteo took a deep breath, trying not to freak out at her anger, which proved to be very difficult considering how he had grown up.

“Well, you don’t need to be all snappy.” Matteo mentally slapped himself, there he goes again.

“Oh, really? You’re the one who’s been blowing me off all week!” Y/n said loudly.

“Well, it doesn’t give you the right to be such an ass!” Matteo said, raising his voice slightly.

Y/n laughed exasperatedly, “Me? I’m the ass now?” She yelled. “You’re the ass here! You’ve been ignoring me and lying to me! I don’t get it, Matteo. What did I do to you!?”

“I love you, okay? I fucking- I fucking love you, and I hate that I love you.” He said, his voice getting quieter as the sentence went on. “Because you’re my best friend, and you don’t love me back. And I am so fucking sorry for making you feel like shit and lying to you, I just didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry, Y/n, I’m so sor-”

Y/n cut him off with a kiss as she threaded her fingers through his hair. After a moment Matteo kissed back, his left hand falling into the dip of her waist. She closed the distance between their bodies, pushing herself against him until she no longer could. He pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against hers. His eyes opened and he smiled at her. Little snowflakes littered her eyelashes and her eyes remained close, savoring the moment.

Matteo gently rubbed Y/n’s cheek and her eyes fluttered open.

“I’m cold.” He whispered and Y/n laughed gently.

“Because you didn’t put your jacket on, idiot.” She whispered back.

“Y’know what will make me warm?”

“Your jacket?”

“Another kiss.”

She closed her eyes again and brushed her lips over his, “Your wish is my command.”

#draco malfoy #draco #draco malfoy x reader #matteo riddle x reader #matteo riddle #harry potter #romance #aanoia

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mariposahxh · 9 months

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KilluGon and the Chimera Ant Arc

idk what to title this. but it’s basically just a few interesting killugon parallels and connections i found in the CAA. (SPOILERS AHEAD!!)

1)

“Precious.”

“You’re the only one for me!”

The Killua scene happens in chapter 219. The Palm and Knov scene happens right after, in chapter 220.

Y’all know the story. Killua fights a rabbit and proclaims Gon as his “most precious friend” . Killua thinks of all their moments together, the most emphasized one being from the dodgeball game when Gon said some gay shit to him.

“KILLUA JA NAKYA DAME NAN DA!” is the exact phrase Gon used.

It’s a romantic phrase in Japan. The English equivalent is :

Killua is the only one for me! ; it has to be Killua! ; Killua is my one and only!

READ THIS ARTICLE. IT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING ABOUT GON AND THE PHRASE HE USED.

The top panel is the next chapter when Knov caught Palm using her power without his permission. He manipulates her by saying “Your blood is precious resource.” , knowing exactly how that word would affect her. After hearing Knov say “precious” , Palm thinks to herself “Knov is the only one for me!”

clips from the anime bc i luv how they portrayed these two scenes

i wanted to address that each scene uses different wording BUT they all mean the same thing, just like how there’s multiple ways to say English words and phrases, it’s. the. same. thing. romantic phrases. preciousness. one and only.

Gon :

じゃなきゃダメなんだ (Ja nakya dame nan da) = You’re the only one for me / It has to be you

Palm :

しかいない (Shika inai) = You’re the only one for me / There is only you

Killua :

大事な (Dajina) = Precious / Important

Knov :

貴重 (Kichō) = Precious / Valuable

Anyway, the point is, Togashi’s intentions with this little connection is clear. Knov calling Palm’s blood “precious” and Palm saying “Knov is the only one for me” which was expressed in a very romantic manner, and it all happened like 15 minutes after Killua and Gon said the same things abt each other.

Palm and Knov paralleled Gon and Killua from the very moment they were first introduced.

I’m working on a separate post that focuses solely on the parallels between PalmKnov and GonKillua because it’s a lot.

2)

“Can I stay by your side?”

“Would you stay by my side?”

The bottom panel is the conversation between Meruem and Komugi before they... you know... shinjuu.

I know I talk a lot about Palm and Knov paralleling/reflecting killugon but the parallels with Meruem and Komugi go CRAZY. It's so underrated. The above dialogue is just one example of the many parallels.

Isn't it interesting how Togashi chose to make Gon and Killua reflect not just one but TWO romantic pairings so far?

"I want to stay by your side... always........."

"I'll stay with you... forever!!"

(they make me so sick it hurts)

3)

Importance

I never realized how big of a theme "importance" was in hxh. It connects everything all together.

In the top left panel, it explains how Komugi is important to Pitou because of how Komugi is important to Meruem, and Meruem is important to Pitou.

But the thing is, although Pitou already knew it, Meruem (at the time) didn't realize that Komugi was the thing most important to him. The thing most important wasn't his initial goal of taking over the world, but the person he met along the way, the one who flipped his world upside down and gave him his first feelings of friendship and love.

Meruem didn't realize Komugi was most important to him until after they were separated and reunited again. He fully understood her importance as they prepared to die together (shinjuu).

Oh, and then we have Gon, Killua, and Palm, of course. And Ging.

We're all familiar with Killua's little breakdown. Palm reassured him that she wasn't the one most important to Gon, but that it was Killua all along. Killua is the most important to Gon.

Killua then also becomes important to Palm, because of how Killua is important to Gon, and Gon is important to Palm.

But the thing is, although Palm already knew it, Gon (at the time) didn't realize that Killua was the thing most important to him. The thing most important wasn't his initial goal of finding his dad, but the person he met along the way, the one who flipped his world upside down and gave him his first feelings of friendship and love.

Gon's true feelings and thoughts are actually still unclear, which leads me to believe that his story with Killua isn't over yet. I can only assume that he'll have a similar realization just like Meruem.

According to the bottom right panel, Gon will "inherit" the heart of realizing what (or who, in this case) is truly important. Togashi told us right there in bold lettering.

You alr know that man is cookin somethin real good up 🔥

"Killua is the only one for me!"

"You are the one most important to Gon."

4)

Love

"It'll be a lovers suicide."

"His most beloved...." "Gon."

"Love will always prevail!!"

Ok but can we talk about how HISOKA of all people was the first to say it outloud that Gon and Killua are something more than friends? His little speech doesn't sound that ambiguous to me, he make it pretty clear that Gon is KIllua's beloved, right after using a hetero romantic couple as an example. read my post about this moment here!!

Love love love. HXH IS ABOUT LOVE. The main love of focus is between Gon and Killua, obviously.

And yeah, i know two of the panels aren't CAA related, but everything is indirectly connected to that arc so i'll allow it.

I already have a post regarding "the teachings of love" and how it connects to killugon. here ya go.

yeah. that's all i got for tonight.

long story short :

hxh gay killugon canon killugon reflect romantic pairings everywhere even hisoka admits it KILLUA LITERALLY ADMITTED IT OUT LOUD. killugon will reunite and maybe shinjuu together. thats how they end. just like komumu and meruru

WAKE UP. HXH WOKE!!!!! TOGASHI WOKE!!!!!

#killugon #killugon propaganda #killugon canon #togashi ships killugon #togashi is goated #no wonder hxh has been going on since 1998 #king of parallels #king of romance #togashi invented romance in 1998

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luffyvace · 2 months

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I have a question that’s been stuck in my head for a while? OK, so remember the episode of MHA where Kurogiri warps stain to the bar to meet Shigaraki so they can convince him to join the LOV and then stain stabs Shigaraki?

So imagine, what if Spinner, Dabi and Toga (separately) meet Stain BUT…… stain injures Reader (instead of Shigaraki) how would they feel if the hero killer hurt, they are beloved S/O?think about it??

Ohh yeaaa I remember that episode!

Ooooo yeah that’ll definitely set the mood for some killing dear- 😃 very intriguing question/request! Thank you! <3 :)

(gn reader since you didn’t mention pronouns or gender)

Spinner

⚠️(i think) spoilers at the end of spinner’s I can’t remember if it’s animated or not 😵‍💫💫

The Gif is literally Spinner to stain-

literally nobody liked him before he joined the lov

as we saw in the flash back (I think it’s animated) he was a nobody sitting on his couch watching tv

he joined the lov and now has people that respect him, he started dating you?!

quite frankly the best thing that has ever happened in his life.

no joke this man would do anything for you

He will probably never see what you see in him because of people in his ear from his upbringing but he hopes you continue to see that forever cuzzzz he’s not tryna let you go anytime soon 😋💗

so when you got stabbed by stain? This man was the exact opposite of calm.

What do you mean you just stabbed the only person who loves him?!

this is actually such an interesting request because spinner admires stain!

this dude’s villain costume is a target version of his! (😭)

Yeah he definitely no longer looks up to him. 😐

infact he might find himself hating him 😗

that’s how serious it is!

he panics for a second then pulls out his katanas to defend you in case he comes back for more

he would chase him down, if you weren’t wounded

he instead sheathes his blades and asks toga to wrap you up (until he can get you to the hospital if it’s fatal)

he’s on the verge of tears and is shaking because he could’ve lost you!

there’s no way he could ever let that happen!

Is heavily disappointed in himself that he couldn’t react faster to protect you and ‘realizes’ how much of a weakling he is

vows to protect you even if it costs him his life

of course he was always willing to, but now nothing. and I mean nothing. is ever gonna hurt you again

will track down stain to talk to him and tell him that wasn’t cool (and he doesn’t necessarily curse him out but rest assured he didn’t use the words I did)

⚠️(uh spoilers I think) after he gains the army of mutation quirk citizens he feels much more confident in his abilities to protect you

you should too! His army cares about you nearly as much as he does! They view him as they’re leader and savior after all~

not to mention he for sure changes his villain costume to something else

He asks you to help decide the design and now he looks much more epicc 😎💪

Dabi (Touya Todoroki)

Dabi is instantly heated abt it

like y’all invited him in here and he STABS his you??!

his lover?!

I don’t think so..😐

bro not finna let that slide🗿

he’s aboutta incinerate everyone and himself (again 😂-) trying to kill him

in all seriousness in a situation where someone he cares about gets hurt he does beat whoever hurt you before helping-

just because he’s angry

BROS SEEING RED- 😭🗿🤡

he does come check up on you after though

Besides he knows the lov will bandage you up

either Toga will do it (but she’ll take some of your blood) or they’ll take you to that hideous doctor dude that works for afo

If it’s a fatal wound he checks up on you a lot and subtly asks if you need anything

he’s not some softy, imma be honest, but he obviously does care

no matter what, he now wants to track down stain and reduce him to nothing but ashes

it doesn’t matter who says what. he’ll never forgive him.

and trust me when I say he’s the type of guy who could hold a grudge forever 😬

will tell you to sit out the next mission if your injury isn’t all the way healed by then

he commits arson to try and ease his anger a bit but after all he’s been through, hurting the only person he loves is the final straw.

he’s noticeable more irritated for a while and will try and kill stain on sight

the hero killer has been spotted in the prefecture? He bouta pull up. Bro is over in the mountains? That crazy cuz Dabi is too 🤷‍♀️

Toga Himiko

Would be the angriest if Dabi wasn’t more hot headed (get it? Don’t get mad I had to) and if she didn’t like stain too- 😭

the fact that she loves to see you stabbed also comes into play-

But she’s upset she wasn’t the one to make you bleed

although this is all after she bandages you up

if the wound isn’t fatal she’ll probably unwrap you daily to admire you in all your glory 💉🩸😊

She tries to get payback by stabbing stain so it’s even but it just becomes a game of cat and mouse

meaning they’re both too swift and agile to get hit by the other

In the heat of the moment her first reaction is excitement that quickly turns to anger

as i said she’s happy to see your beautiful rose red blood but she didn’t get to inflict it ✋😤

Def woulda followed stain out the door to track him down if it weren’t for 1. Your wound and 2. Twice & magne stopping her

will lick the blood she cleaned

not fresh off the wound, but off the materials she used to clean you up

she knows it could give you an infection directly

and this is of course after your fine and dandy

she 100% tried to get as much blood into a container or syringe as possible

even if there isn’t a lot

If you have a quirk in particular

bonus if it’s a strong one

You two could pair up now!! Aren’t you happy? 🤗

if you are NOT happy and is upset with her for it, (I’m sure your not- your probably used to it in a relationship with her) she’ll gives you cuddles as an apology <33

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transmascissues · 8 months

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hey, sorry idk if its ok for me to ask for advice here, but im really lost and dont know where else to go.

i might be starting testosterone really soon, (via informed consent) but i keep flipping back and forth on whether or not i'm sure i want it. some days i think, "yes 100% im a man i want T right now" and thinking abt the effects of T makes me euphoric. other days i think, "wait AM i sure tho? what if it turns out i hate it actually" and thinking abt the effects of T on those days makes me anxious and ambivalent.

i think it might be just a fear of change, but i'm not sure, and i'm worried about making a decision i'll regret forever. it doesnt help i keep seeing ppl say things like "you need to be 100% sure you want hrt before u start because going back and forth puts a huge strain on the body" etc, but i dont know if i ever will be 100% sure.

what do you make of this? do i really need to be 100% sure? am i rushing in too fast? or is this just anxiety talking?

i spent years agonizing over if i was really sure that i wanted to start t, and you know what it taught me?

no one is ever 100% sure about anything. it’s an impossible task. that’s just not how people work — you’re always going to find more things to be anxious or unsure about when you think about it because it’s an unknown thing and it’s completely natural to be at least a little unsure of unknown things.

and most of the time, nobody expects you to be 100% sure about big decisions because we all know it’s an unfair expectation. nobody told me i couldn’t go to college because i wasn’t 100% sure where i wanted to go. nobody tells you to never drive anywhere because you’re not 100% sure that the car won’t crash. accepting risk is a part of life. trusting ourselves to make the best decisions we can — and trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever happens next — is an unavoidable part of life.

the only reason we’re held to that impossible standard of 100% certainty when it comes to medically transitioning is because people are transphobic and they want us to second guess ourselves and put off hormones or surgery out of fear. if everyone waited until they were 100% sure, no one would ever transition, and that’s exactly what they want.

i look at it like this: hormones are like any other medication. you take them because you decide they have a good shot at making your life better even though there’s also a chance they might be ineffective, have bad side effects, or even make things worse in the end. we accept that risk every time we take a medication because we weigh the options and decide the good that could come of them is worth that risk. imagine if doctors only offered medical care to people when they were 100% sure it would work and not have any side effects — they would never do anything at all!

i can’t tell you if hrt is right for you. i can’t tell you if the risk is worth it for you. what i can tell you is that, when i was unsure about what to do, there were two things that made me decide it was worth the risk:

the first is that i knew i wanted to give myself a chance. the idea of going on hormones only to get more dysphoria from it sounded terrifying, but the reality was that i was already living with dysphoria! and the idea of just accepting that because i was afraid to try the thing that could make it better was even more terrifying. at the end of the day, i decided it was better to choose the option that could make things better than it was to just spend the rest of my life wondering if it would’ve helped. the worst case scenario in both choices is dysphoria, so i figured, why not pick the option where the best case scenario is euphoria? i know dysphoria is something i can live with because i’ve been doing it for years, so i felt that i could trust myself to be able to deal with that outcome if it came. i knew it was possible that i would regret it and wish i had never started t, but i also knew i would regret it even more if i went my whole life never having given myself a chance at something better than the dysphoria i already live with. i figured, if i have to take a risk, why not take the one that excites me instead of the one i would just be taking out of fear?

the second is that hormones are fucking slow. there can be some changes that happen fast but for the most part, the changes on t take time to happen fully, and if i wanted even more time i knew i could take a lower dose to slow things down further. it’s not like you just wake up one day with a totally different body — it’s a process, and if at any point in that process you realize you don’t like what’s happening, you can stop! you’re completely in control; the second it starts to feel like it’s making something worse instead of better, you can decide to stop taking it. even with the changes that came quickest for me, i had time to assess as they started happening, and it would’ve been as simple as putting down the syringe and never using it again if i decided i didn’t want those changes to continue.

(and the people who say you can’t start and stop because of the strain on your body are exaggerating — i had to start and stop multiple times because i was having allergic reactions to all of the serums we tried, and i was totally fine. that was never even a concern my nurse brought up to me. i’m sure it’s not ideal to do that constantly, but i don’t think it’s a big thing you have to worry about.)

again, i can’t tell you if starting t is the right move for you. all of this is just how i made that decision for myself; i can’t make yours for you. what i can tell you is that you are more than capable of making a thoughtful and informed decision without being 100% sure. certainty is not a requirement.

and frankly, anyone who tells you they were 100% sure when they made that decision is either lying about it because they feel like they should’ve been totally certain, or they were in a position to make the decision so quickly that it didn’t leave time to mull things over and find things to be unsure of.

which leads me to my final point: if you’re thinking about it this hard and trying to be this meticulous about making the right decision, you’re absolutely not rushing into it. whatever decision you make, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and that’s all anyone can ask of you.

this is your decision, not anyone else’s, and already you have everything you need to make the best decision you possibly can. trust yourself to choose wisely, and trust yourself to be able to handle whatever your choice brings. you got this.

#this ended up much longer than i intended but i have a lot to say about it bc i was in the same place a couple years ago #ask answered #trans men #transmascs #hrt #testosterone

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 7 months

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I need to scream about this event (Friends Like These) because I truly was just. Not expecting the impact it would have--I don't remember if I read this one in Japanese???

I've only gotten the first two stories so far but I just.

Jeanne and Mozart are of course, as adorable as ever; there's no question about that. But Jeanne dropping this line:

"It galls me to sound so much like le Comte, but I am grateful to God that I met you."

I. [prolonged error 404 sounds]. I'm not sure there are words to convey the simultaneous endless wheezing laughter but also AWWWWWWWW energy that consumed me in milliseconds. Wildly oscillating between "LMFAO ah yes, sentimentality? Disgusting I'll drink to that (blasts Bring Me To Life)" and "BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM DEEP DOWN AND HE LOVES YOU WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH."

I just can't get over how Jeanne says exactly one thing about liking another person and he's like, 'ew dad gave me cooties >:///// how dare he subject me to the mortifying ordeal of hope.' Jeanne I love you. Jeanne I would die for you. Middle schooler with well-meaning stepfather who begrudgingly accepts his kindness and grows for the better, but would rather perish than admit it. I never knew I needed this found family dynamic so freaking bad until I started playing this game. 11/10 I could watch this forever

More Shenanigans below the cut, + the Shakespeare and Comte Event Story:

Also a sidebar because I just can't help myself, I know I've talked about it before but: Mozart and Jeanne's friendship is so endlessly precious to me????? I love how Mozart is so NO I'M NOT NICE REEEEE (turtles) and Jeanne is like :> bestie. It's so damn cute watching Mozart squirm at being exposed for being sweet and Jeanne just truly grateful someone cares about him?????? How much Jeanne and MC dote on Mozart despite being together, how it only strengthens their friendship? Literally I'm over the moon, nobody touch me I'm tender!!! Jeanne deserves to live peacefully without being a tool of the state/bad actors!!!! Mozart deserves to be loved and happy without being defined by his musical success!!!!!

LIKE. Not to be dramatic but I could watch an entire saga of these two being friends and being adorable. Fresh serotonin every single time. Did I know Jeanne was going to share his food? Absolutely. Did I expect MC to think ahead and pack two lunches? Absolutely not. Was I delighted both times? Beyond what you can imagine!!!!!!!

I'm going to stop here at the risk of repeating myself over and over but wow. Jeanne's capacity to see to the very core of people, for better and worse, and how it lets Mozart be meaningfully seen. Mozart's recognition that Jeanne can mean well to a fault, worried that he might be taken advantage of--and how Jeanne can build trust with someone for the first time without being afraid. Can you hear me wailing and bawling

Naturally, I acquired the Comte and Shakespeare one next. Now, I'm gonna be honest, I saw their names together and went "oh dear God. What am I walking into. Why do I hear boss music????" But I gathered my courage (more like I'm just too feral not to gather info abt Comte, but I digress) and experienced something that left me literally on the floor because I just. Did Not Remotely Expect This Series of Events.

So like. It starts off by being pretty normal and cute and I'm like awwww baby boy (oh he's a little fked up actually) giving gifts to dad. I'm sensing an ulterior motive but right now just let me have this. Also adorable that Comte is struck dumb by it, that's really cute I'm taking notes. And then. I was hit with the veritable ANVIL that was these next few lines:

deep breath Okay. Where to begin.

I LOST IT at the implication that Will was like. Holding back from ending Comte's entire life with mere words. WILL????? WILL P L S??????? (lowkey wanted to hear the roast snickers) Why am I sensing a pattern that Comte loves spicy people??? Love this for me

I also started losing my shit the second MC was mentioned and you could just hear the record scratch/kill bill sirens. Comte really out here like "son say WHAT about MC." I can't get over how he's always so ready to throw down for both MC and Sebas at any moment. Anywho, naturally I come to the conclusion that Will was just trying to one-up Comte to mess with him by giving MC gifts. It was the one thing I did anticipate--and, fool that I was--thought it rendered me safe from what happens next.

DEAR READER. DEAR READER I WAS SO WRONG. I WAS SO TERRIBLY WRONG.

BABY GIRL. BABY GIRL ON WHAT LEVEL IS THIS NORMAL BEHAVIOR. I'M LITERALLY CRYING RN?????? THE FACT THAT I CAN'T TELL IF HE'S JUST BEING SILLY GOOFY OR HE LEGITIMATELY MEANS IT OR SOME COMBINATION OF THE TWO????????

Mans out here like "I lost everything in the war (literally) let me spoil my girlboss dream gf in peace. Vlad took everything in the divorce let me have this pls." I just. The mental image of him chasing Will around the house. The potential implications of him doing this to protect them both (I love you Will but you have. Problems). The HILARIOUS AND DUBIOUS qualifier when he says "dressing up MC is nearly my entire reason for living." Comte I love you more than life itself but that does not make this any more normal. What are you doing my beloved vampire jkhlhalfdhjfg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Also an honorable mention moment, because it was endearing:

Just the img of him wandering around with sparkly eyes and toting home little trinkets for everyone??????? He's so cute, that's the most grandpa behavior I've ever seen. I was chortling when Will was like "sir you made me sit in that cluttered carriage followed by another carriage full of stuff all the way home IT'S TIME FOR REVENGE (affectionate)."

I also love how Comte is like "Do I have a problem? Maybe. Will that stop me? Only when the sun cataclysmically swallows the earth."

Literally half of the members of the house are like "why are you like this" and he just heeheehoos his way out of it. How does he keep getting away with it. Can you tell I love him. Dazai isn't the only clown in this house honks Comte's nose

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp mc #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp jeanne #ikevamp jean #ikevamp shakespeare #man every time i go back to ikevamp its like the first time #idk man the healing from intense trauma and catastrophic overworking just gets to me okay #i wonder if there's just a fundamental ethos to the game that compels me; the idea that genius of any kind is hard-won #that no matter how brilliant someone may seem--there was a cost that may not be apparent at first glance #but they are also just. silly silly guys. mischievous little creachurs #THE DUALITY OF MAN (VAMPIRE?)#im also just endlessly amused by comte's whole “IM NOT UR DAD”#but at the same time him being like “relating to my children emotionally? how about I Give Them This Thing They Like Instead.”#like comte ilysm but that is literally. textbook dad behavior. 0/10 you failed the stealth check #its my comte roasting hours #at the same time trying very hard not to think about the reasons why #namely that he doesn't want to burden everyone with Vlad's beef^TM #i can't help but think about how much keeping his distance is abt protecting them from himself as well #the way he doesn't want to be a burden on anyone else but also yearns so deeply for companionship/connection #how even with mc he frequently notes what she's giving up to be with him/that he's more work than he's worth #:( i wanna hold him my poor sweet mans

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kaiandels · 9 months

Text

Two Hearts pt.2: Ellie Williams X Reader

🐚

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿

warnings: crisis abt 🏳️‍🌈, a bit of angst (but Dina is there to make you feel better 🤎), religious tr4uma, mild swearing , y/n having a very long dialogue, and NO INTIMACY displayed yet. YET! okay?

PROOFREAD! (for the first time in forever~)

p.s: this is going to be a tad bit emotional. i mean, “denial” is obviously caused by a root of bottled-emotions right? and thank you for liking pt. 1 🥹 and i’m very sorry if Ellie isn’t really present in this part, this is supposed to be about the reader and the reader only. But she’ll appear in the next part I promise!

After the wonderful moment that you shared with Ellie, you found yourself trapped in a void that constantly held you down. You couldn’t tell anyone, there is some sort of chain that you felt around your throat that makes it so hard to speak. It’s almost as if you’re choking on the air that was supposed to keep you alive. And what makes it harder is that Ellie already left, your source of calmness. Not even because it’s getting late, it’s because her date messaged her that “she wants to give it another try”. But it’s no one’s fault really. If anything, you felt as if it was your fault because you couldn’t admit to yourself that Ellie was the one you really loved. But you shut down that feeling everytime, because you always thought that it was wrong.

Your shaky breaths led you to feel panic, you wanted to call Ellie. But you knew that you can’t because she genuinely wanted to fix the relationship between her and her date because according to her, it was going pretty well until she “Fucked Up” by mentioning you too much. You understood that. So well, even. But why did that feel like you just got punched on the chest? You shook your head and let your mind calm down even just for a second which led you to message your beloved friend, Dina. God knows that you need her right now.

You finally burst out in laughter. Talking with Dina always felt so bittersweet, she always made situations much more lightweight for you even just temporarily. And you will always forever be grateful for her. You always thought that Jesse was such a lucky man. They were a perfect pair. And secretly, Jesse and Dina were rooting for you and Ellie. They have always envisioned double dates with you and Ellie or even when in the future, when you both have families… they imagined the get-together’s on Christmas, Newyear’s, Halloween, or any holiday for that matter. And they were frustrated, and even upset just by the thought of knowing that you both were struggling to admit to yourselves that you both loved eachother in no other way that a man or woman could ever do.

“Sweetie?” you heard Dina’s soothing voice knocking on your door. Swiftly standing up as you opened the door jumping in to her arms sobbing. “Aw… poor baby. Okay, okay, okay.. let’s get over to the couch okay? Sit down and i’ll open some wine and a huggeee tub of icecream for us. Alright?” you nodded and smiled as you felt Dina’s soft fingers wipe your tears away. You both went to the living room as Dina assisted you to sit down. You told her it was fine, and there was really no reason for her to “baby” you like this. “Nuh-uh, today is about you. And besides, I get to hear about the stupid things Ellie said… or done.” You laughed as Dina brought 2 glasses of wine and the tub of icecream.

“So, what happened with Ellie?” Dina asked giving you a spare spoon while opening the tub of icecream, revealing your favorite flavor. “Dina, thank you so much. That’s my favorite!”. You said smiling at her as you scooped a spoon-full for yourself. “No problem. You know what they say, Icecream does help a lot with negative emotions.” You smirked in agreement and took a bite, moaning at the pleasant taste on your mouth. “So? what happened?” You sighed folding your lips in to a thin line and finally ranting your life away.

“It’s not what Ellie did. It’s what she made me feel. I’m so confused Dina, so fucking confused. I’m constantly trying to push my feelings away for women because I have no guts to face it and admit it to myself. I don’t want to do it anymore. Trust me, I really fucking don’t. But it’s just so hard. I’ve been raised in a household where everything from my childhood changed, I couldn’t buy toys that involved cars because they were too “boyish” or I couldn’t wear what I used to wear because I “looked like a man”. And the people… God, the fucking people. They always tell me that it’s wrong, that it’s against God’s words but proceeds to do much worse things. It’s like they’re only religious when they see something they hate. And the expectations thrown at me that I should be able to marry a man, have 3 children, and live in a white house with plants and flowers with wooden floors near a beach in California. I know it sounds perfect, I know it sounds ideal… But what if I don’t want to live that life with a man? Or live that life at all? What if I want to live that life with a woman? What if I don’t want to live in California near a beach? What if I want to live in a farm, peaceful enough but not far from civilization. What if I don’t want children? What if I don’t like them at all because they are annoying and loud and hinders me from actually living up to the life that I want. Not what they want. I fucking want! Like, seriously? 3 children? Do they think i’m made of metal or something? I know that this sounds ridiculous because I have Xavier, and my parents like him a lot. And I WAS happy with him. But he’s a cheater and a liar… And i’m more happy with-“

“Ellie. You’re more happy with Ellie.” Dina smiled bitterly as she moved her hands from her lap to your face, caressing your soft skin slowly. “Look, you don’t have to feel obligated to fulfill your parents frustrations. It is not your duty and will never be. You don’t have to listen to them especially if it’s not what you want for yourself.” Dina added, studying your face as you seemed so vulnerable. “I know, thank you.” You forced a smile, trying to contain any tears that were threatening to fall from your face. “How does she do it?” you asked. “Do what?” Dina asked tilting her head to the side. “Love women? Without giving a care about what people might say or throw at her?” Dina laughed softly hitting your arm. “Hey! what was that for?” You giggled, taken aback by Dina’s sudden happiness. “It’s just… It’s fuckin’ Ellie. Alright? She doesn’t give a flying fuck. Even back then? Nuh-uh Sis, you’re not getting a reaction from her. And besides, last time I checked, she doesn’t believe in God. But if you’re seriously asking, I don’t know either.” Dina shrugged and laughed at her own ramble.

You grabbed Dina’s hands and intertwined them with yours. “I’m having a really hard time, Dina.” Dina looked at her hands and looked back at you. “I know, Sweetie”. She paused for a moment to think then added to her sentence. “I personally think that you should talk to Ellie about this to clear your mind. She’s the gayest of our group, everything you’re going through right now? She has probably gone through already. But, about Xavier? Honestly he’s no good and i’m not trying to throw you shade but I think you’re just with him ‘cause it pleases your parents.” Dina said tightening her grip on your hand and rolling her eyes from the thought. “I mean, you’re not lying…” You said laughing as you caressed her hand softly.

“But seriously… You really should go talk to her. But if you don’t want to, that’s fine either. You’ll figure it out, Sweetie. Baby steps, alright?” Dina said flashing you her most beautiful smile that have always made you melt in all the right ways.

“I will talk to her.”

you didn’t

(yes the wallpaper is the reader and Ellie)

special tag: @gold-dustwomxn 🫶🏻

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #dina tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #the last of us #dina woodward #female reader #lesbian #lgbt #wlw #tlou part 2 #tlou2 #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou x reader

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d10nyx · 2 months

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NYYYYYYXXXXX!!!!!! HAIIIII HRUU :3! bless ur soul for putting up with my nonsensical yapping.. i love ur inputs<3 & NEW BOTS WOOO thank you for these gracious meals😋

AND I WAS THINKING (here we go again LMAO)..RE2 LEON AS A LOSER COLLEGE CLASSMATE. he’s a loner. kinda nerdy, not that talkative. sits in the back of any room. poor baby is too shy to make a conversation w anyone, & when/if he does, nobody’s listening/thinks his input is weird/is talking over him so he jus gives up on trying 2 make friends & just decides to focus on his studies (◞‸◟)

until popular!reader comes along & makes the effort to get to know Leon by sitting next to him. bro is baffled! but shes popular for a reason; so sweet & considerate, funny—cute! it’s the most attention that anybody has ever given him & he gets so drunk off of her mere presence that he just can’t help getting a little crush on her!

but then that quickly develops into an unhealthy obsession; “accidentally” bumping into her “randomly”, rubbing himself to pictures of her, attached to her by the hip! her bf doesn’t like him for being so touchy, so he kinda beats Leon up :(… a lesson is NOT learned bc Leon complains to reader abt his boo-boos, & she tells her bf off. seeing this, Leon tells her lies abt her bf & she believes him always bc Leon is nothing but an angel!

bro has a whole wall dedicated to her. photos of her w her friends (who r etched out/cut out), her walking around campus, etc. mf collects her chewed-up pencils & forgotten hairties (bonus if they have strands on them) & and disposed gum-wrappers like they’re ancient artifacts. occasionally takes her empty/half-full waterbottles and licks & kisses the lip to pretend he’s making out with her. typically results in him whimpering her name while humping a pillow… yeah he’s pathetic, but she’s none the wiser!…. do u see my vision….

-🍼

🍼anon i'm literally on my knees asking for your hand in marriage because i love love LOOOVE creep/perv re2 leon :3 pls yap in my inbox forever bcs your ideas are so juicy and make me scream!! BUT HIII!!! i'm good !! hruuu?

but omg ofc i see the vision!! he's so sweet at first, just happy to have a friend. but reader is the only one who's ever treated him like this, and his innocent crush is so quick to become an obsession. the water bottle thing had me SCREAMING like ughhhh.

reader is so oblivious. leon is so unassuming and like... no one cares about him, so they don't notice when he slinks away at the beginning of the lecture with reader's room key... oops. he gets himself some souvenirs(aka used panties...) but he's also *such* a gentleman that he doesn't just care about that. he's also taking note of stuff like the shower gel n shampoo she uses so he can get the same ones as reader to feel closer to her :33

bonus points if he snaps one day. after she tells her bf off, her bf gets really fucking defensive about HIS girlfriend. every time leon walks into the room, he's pulling her in for a kiss - not just a peck, but like... a sloppy makeout sesh. leon ends up being like 'hi i wanna say sorry for how i've acted... come w me'. except he's not sorry at all (duh) and he gets rid of her boyfriend once and for all.

of course, he's the one to comfort reader when she's completely distraught at her bfs 'disappearance'. he lets her into his dorm room and cuddles her while being all sweet, using her emotional vulnerability to coax reader into letting him touch her. he's got her right where he wants her now. and if her friends start to catch on? he's got no problem disposing of them, too.

#yandere leon?#I'm always down :3 #asks <3 #🍼anon

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unabashegirl · 2 years

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Pregnancy (INSTAGRAM BLURB)

liked by brittany_broski, harrystyles and 5,976,937 others

yourinstagram it takes a village 🥹

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britanny_broski hungry now

arianagrande can i be invited next time?👉🏻👈🏻

harryfans167 she cooks too?

harry9682 probably had people do it for her

yourinstagram done with these very hands ;)

mitchrowland pls teach pillowpersonpp

pillowpersonpp ouch

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gemmastyles came to see my two favorite people 💖

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harrystyles that’s sweet

gemmastyles wasn’t talking abt you, doofus 🙄

harrystyles then who?🤔

yourinstagram pls stay forever 🤎

annetwist all of my babies together 🤍 what else could I ask for?

jeffszoffs why wasn’t I invited?

harrystyles cause you bug me

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yourinstagram Style’s baby. December 2022.

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harrystyles99 STFU🙃

harryfan947 she is pregnant?! how?

harrytpwk when a man loves a woman…

gemmastyles I’m going to be an auntie 🥺

arianagrande CONGRATS guys!

j_corden No way! Happy for you! 🎉

niallhoran congrats man!

harrystyles I love you ❤️

yourbestfriend i can’t wait to meet her/him!!

liked by yourinstagram, harry_reed and 10,976,937 others

harrystyles you being you. can’t get any more beautiful.

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yourinstagram busted 😴

harryfan853 how is she already so big?

yourbestfriend none of your goddam business. fuckoff.

harryfan3 I am so excited to know the gender!!!

harryfkorals DADDY 🔥

pillowpersonpp Y/N makes pregnancy look so easy. smh.

yourinstagram are you kidding me? you were glowing!

harry_lambert should I start designing?🤔

gemmastyles I love them✨

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harrydailyupdates Harry’s reaction to being asked about becoming a father by Zane Lowe. The conversation started by Zane congratulating him on the pregnancy.

“Thank you” He smiled, “very excited” he added as he sat up on the seat.

“What a transition have you had this year!” Zane smiled “you got married, released an album AND NOW you are ending the year with a baby!” Harry nodded along with the proudest smile. “First, how is Y/N?”.

“She is doing great. At home, enjoying every second of her pregnancy”

“How has the pregnancy changed you?” Zane questioned.

“I think it humbles you. The baby hasn’t been born, yet all my priorities have shifted and my respect and adoration towards Y/N has only grown” He smiled, “I can’t love her enough”.

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harryfans942 crying

harrystylesfan93 you can tell how much he loves her

harry8482 so happy they found each other

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enews 🎶 I am having your babyyyyy 🎶 Y/N Styles is seen for the first time since she and the rockstar announced their pregnancy. She picked up a green smoothie and took a few pictures with fans outside the shop before leaving.

harryfans037 leave her alone 🙄

harrydailyupdate this is why she doesn’t leave her house

harryfan047 I was there. she was super sweet. Took pictures with us. We asked if she knew the gender but told us that they are waiting until delivery.

harrytpwk so excited!

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yourinstagram thank god I married him 💕

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pillowpersonpp Harry Styles cooking? 🤔

yourinstagram surprised? so was I.

harrystyles hey! I can cook!

gemmastyles burns the entire house. This is why I should move in until the baby is here.

yourbestfriend concerned about the safety of my niece/nephew.

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harrystyles 3 trimester. almost there.

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gemmastyles baby watch 👀 ⏰

yourinstagram can’t see my feet anymore 🥲

harryfans947 I can’t wait. Why do I feel like this is my baby too?

harryfans944 right?!

annetwist can’t wait to see you next week💕

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gemmastyles nothing to see here.

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yourinstagram GEMMA! 😂 you said it was for your eyes only!

harrystyles you are fucked 😂

arianagrande fit mama 💪🏻

j_corden challenge accepted ✅

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yourinstagram Alexander Styles. He is perfect. Looks just like dad. We are both doing well 🤍🤎

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harrystyles my love 💖

pillowpersonpp HE IS SO CUTEEEE 🥲

j_corden he is gorgeous guys!

harry_lambert Congratulations! 🍾 when can I visit?!

gemmastyles little alex 🥲

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literaturewithliz · 4 months

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I feel like making a sappy post abt PJO rn so here we go!

As the hours go by, it gets clearer and clearer to me that soon, everything will change for the fan base of pjo. And no matter how hard I try to be excited, there is such a beautifully tragic feeling of sadness I get to think about it. About not knowing what will happen when that show comes out.

I never realized just how protective I was of Percy and his group until it was announced that filming had begun for season 1. When I saw Rick’s post, I felt light for a moment, and then a heavy feeling settled in my chest that I still cannot quite describe. The ironic part of all of this is the fact that it has been alarmingly long since I’ve sat to read these books. In fact, the last time I read The Lightning Thief, it was the first time.

It was quarantine, so the mood was already impossibly somber. But what made it such a unique experience for me was the fact that I had depression. My parents had just split which was earth shattering for me, a ten year old, and all I could think about 24/7 was the countless fights they had, their words ringing in my head like a gigantic bell that never did seem to stop. My grandmother (whose house my dad and I were staying in) and my father still had in person work at that point, so I was alone everyday, which gave me all the time in the world to ponder my emotion, or lack there of. I came close to doing unspeakable things, and eventually just stayed inside my room. I hardly ever came out, so hardly anyone physically saw me for a year. I never picked up phone calls, I ate meals in my room, and I spent the day sleeping so that when I woke up everyone in the house would be asleep and I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone.

I had completely lost my identity at that point, because since school was out, there was nothing to try at. All of my validation came from my academic performance, specifically my performance in reading. At this time, I really didn’t like to read at all. I just didn’t love it, my heart wasn’t in it, but I did it all the time because all of my classmates and teachers and both of my parents told me I had a gift, and that I was destined to do something with it. And so I read all the time, and it seemed like that was all I did. But now that there was no one encouraging me, I didn’t see a point.

Until one day when I was scrolling through a YouTube comments section, and one of the comments mentioned the name Percy Jackson, who I had never heard of before. I looked into the replies of that comment and there was just an endless amount of love there. These people who have never seen each other before all still seeming like a family in their own way, bonding over this book series. I remember wondering why I never had that, with all the books that I’ve read. And then next I remember thinking that I really did want it, and begged my dad to buy me the first Percy jackson book. I was very hesitant because I still didn’t care all that much about reading, but I thought that something about this series must be different, if all of these people can bond so much over it.

So I started reading it, and after a couple of chapters, I gave up on it. Because I didn’t understand what was happening, and I didn’t want to. I thought that the group of people I saw were weird for liking such a boring book. And I didn’t pick it up again for about two more month, when my depression was at an all time low. There was hardly anything in my mind except that loud bell, and I was desperate to make it go away. There wasn’t anything to do, and I felt like this really was the end for me, that life was always going to be this never ending storm of awful feelings, and I would be lonely forever.

So I did the only thing I thought I was good at, and I read. I sat there for a solid 3 hours and read that book without putting it down and it was the best thing that had ever happened to me, because I actually loved it. These characters felt personal to me, I felt like I had known them my whole life. I feel like it was also the first time I had laughed in a while.

Percy Jackson showed me that reading didn’t have to be something I did for the approval of others, but it could be amazing. I kept purchasing the series as it went, and by the time it was over, School had started again, and I talked to people every day. My life felt like there was at least a little bit of normalcy to it, and while the bells never really did stop ringing, I now had a whole fandom I could talk and relate with about these books and about life in general. PJO was always like a buoy in the storm for me at that time, and eventually, I read more books. Books that I loved this time. And instead of reading for the approval of others, I read because I didn’t want to do anything else.

Eventually with all of these new books, I fell out of the fandom for the most part, but Percy was always there in the back of my mind. So how odd it feels now, to feel like I am about to cry at the thought that a whole new generation of fans is about to storm in, and we will all be there with open arms. Maybe there is a little girl out there right now feeling what I felt, and this show will be there to be her anchor. Maybe these characters will be there to show her what the world could not.

I feel like I sounds silly and over dramatic and maybe I do, but it is all true. This series changed my life in the best of ways, and for that I will always be protective of it.

Even so, I know that we have deserved a true adaptation, the world deserves to see Percy Jackson as it truly is. And even with my fear and my sadness to see this era go, I am so unbelievably excited to see what happens next. So excited to watch and rewatch these episodes with y’all until I can’t see straight. So excited to hear what people think of it. I think big things are coming. Good luck Leah, Walker, and Aryan. Good luck to every other actor and every set worker and good luck to Uncle Rick, because with this chaotically beautiful mess of a fandom, you will definitely need it.

#PJO #pjo fandom #disney #disney +#pjo tv show #pjo disney+#pjoverse #pjo series #annabeth chase #percy jackson show #percy jackson #grover underwood #rick riordan

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sighonaraa · 9 months

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I am brain rotting so hard over the trent and colin dynamic rn, I love them so much, football kiddos au or canon, I adore them

ok so the THING IS.......... the Thing Is. i could talk about trent and colin forever. they are just. they are soooooooo!

it's the way trent was the first one to realize that colin is gay. it's the way he, a reporter of Many Years and known gossip fiend, kept that secret for colin without even Telling Colin That He Knew. and he could have! he very easily could have approached colin at any point during the season and been like, yo. i know what you are dot png. but he didn't! he chose to give colin the space to keep that secret, UNTIL he felt that colin was actively putting himself in "danger"/isolating himself to a concerning extent from the rest of the team. (i also think his Rainbow Mug TM was absolutely his subtle way of signaling to colin that he is a safe person, but colin is one of the himbos so we know how well that went). and then. and then!!! amsterdam!!!!! this was trent putting his foot down and being like. okay. you don't want people to know, that's fine. but i know, and you are not alone. You Are Not Alone. WAUUUUUUUUUGH.

ok this is getting Incredibly Long so i've put my football kiddos au-specific thoughts beneath the cut.

so........yeah. yeah!! for the football kiddos au, i ABSOLUTELY had to have trent and colin be a fabulous da and son duo. in my mind, colin was adopted when he was around 5, so the two of them have been in each others' lives for almost half of colin's life. and to me, trent is, like. Thee Ultimate Cool Dad. he's dorky as HELL but has just enough journalistic swagger that kids overlook his obscure literature references in favor of his Hella Fantastic Hair, etc. except colin. colin sees STRAIGHT through his da and he is Not Impressed. he has made it his life's mission to ensure that trent understands precisely how Uncool He Is. but if anyone else dares to tell colin that trent is weird, colin WILL bite their face off. there's a fierce protectiveness on both sides, and colin vets absolutely every single person who makes an attempt to date trent, and trent is fairly chill to let colin roam around and mess up and have fun and generally just Be A Kid. i also have a Lot of feelings abt how growing up with trent will lead to colin being a much more secure person, not only in regards to being gay but also just in generally aspect of his life, because colin is a Very Insecure Person! he doesn't have a lot of belief in himself, and he's not the best footballer, and.......and etc., etc. trent being colin's da will let colin grow up far more confident in Every Way, and i think colin being trent's son allows trent to in turn accept and discover his own sexuality much earlier, simply because. hey. i have this kiddo, and i want them to understand that it is okay to be who you are in this world. wait a minute. i should take my own advice. hmm.

and then there's the random mustachioed american next door and embarrassing flirting rituals and colin is banging his head into the wall because da. Da. Stop Being So Shameful. and then there's the dude with angry caterpillar eyebrows and his tiny five year old brother and trent is shoving colin down the hall because son. Son. There Is a Friend. Go. and they all meet and become a family and all is right in the world!!!!!!

#ask #asteria-argo #THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY......#i have a Lot of thoughts. clearly #trent and colin you will always be famous to me!!!#trent crimm #colin hughes #football kiddos au #ted lasso

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starglitterz · 1 year

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elysian.

─── THE BEGINNING ; 01.

elysian

adjective; relating to or characteristic of paradise

summary: when you lose your job out of the blue, you’re pretty sure this is the end of the road for you. at least until you reconnect with your childhood best friend aether and he offers you your ideal job and a place to stay. the only condition is that his office will be behind the store you’ll be running, and under no circumstances are you permitted to enter. that’s how you begin your new life as a florist, though you’re not sure how to focus on working when aether seems to have too many pretty boys working both for and against him. your fresh start gets a whole lot more interesting when you discover just how many secrets these men are hiding, but somehow you think you’ll still be able find the elysian ending of your dreams.

pairing: various genshin male characters x gn!reader

a/n: hello!!! i've been talking abt this for ages, i'm sorry it took so long :( i had to rewrite this a billion times until i finally came up w smth i liked hehe <3 this is the first part of the set-up for the universe in which my most recent milestone event takes place ! if you're confused just send me an ask & i'll try to explain better LOL. anyways without further ado let's get right into it !! hope you enjoy <3

elysian masterlist. // next.

If anyone asked you what you do for a living, you doubt that even in your wildest dreams would you have imagined replying that you ran a flower shop as a cover for a gang. It's so outrageous that sometimes you think you owe your past self an apology for going off the rails. But it doesn’t make sense to start telling your story from there – it’s better to start all the way at the beginning: a chance encounter in a coffee shop.

“Y/N? Is that you?”

You’re wallowing in the depths of despair, doing your best not to cry into your cup of iced coffee, when you hear a familiar voice call your name. Jerking around instantly, you scan the room filled with chatting teens, businessmen on important calls and smiling couples until your gaze lands on a man with a long blonde braid sitting at a table a few feet from you.

Your eyes widen, “Aether?!” His face lights up when you recognise him, and he moves to your table, “It is you! Mind if I sit here?” “No, not at all. Just… wow, I can’t believe you’re here. It’s been forever!” “It really has. I’ve missed you,” Aether’s features soften into an easy smile, “I think the last time I saw you was at our college reunion party. How long has it been since then?” Attempting to ignore how his smile still manages to make heat rise to your cheeks, you chuckle, “At least three years, but you were always the one with the better memory. How have you been?”

You don’t know if you’re imagining the shadow that seems to cloud his expression, but it dissipates in a second as he replies, “I’m doing well, actually. Moving here was a great decision, I’ve got a new company and everything.” "Really? That's incredible, Aether!" you beam, "At this rate you'll be taking over Teyvat." "I wouldn't go that far," he rubs the back of his neck bashfully, "What about you?"

Now you're fumbling for an answer. How do you tell your college roommate who you haven't seen in years that you've just been fired from your job and your landlord refuses to renew your lease? "Not too good on my end, if I'm being honest," you start cautiously before plastering on a bright smile, "But I'm hoping things will turn up soon!" Genuine concern floods Aether's face and he frowns, "Y/N, what happened? I don't mean to press, but you always did have a tendency to downplay your problems." "It's nothing, really," you try to laugh it off, but you can't meet his eyes. In fact, you can't even take yourself seriously for trying to delude yourself into believing that you being homeless with no source of income is not that serious.

Aether places his hand on yours, which shocks you enough that your eyes dart up to his and he says softly, "You can tell me, you know. I'm the last person who has any right to judge anyone." "It's not that, I just don't want to dump everything on you," your voice seems to be stuck in your throat, and it comes out a lot less convincing than you hoped for. "Hey," he flicks your forehead gently as a playful smile curves his lips, "I don't think anything can compare to listening to you rant about all your different college crushes for hours." That coaxes a laugh out of you, and you sigh, "Fine."

When you finish telling him the sad story of your life (AKA just the awful news of today), Aether is quiet. Fantastic. Now he thinks you're a jobless loser, and he's going to pity you and this is going to destroy the dynamics of your friendship and- "Would it sound crazy if I said I had the perfect solution for you?" Your train of thought comes crashing to a stop, "What?" "There's this building I have on the outskirts of town. It's our… base of operations, so to speak. But we only use the back storeroom, and the entire front area feels wasted. It used to be a flower shop, and we haven't had time to renovate it into anything we could use. Also, it would be really helpful to have someone I trust keeping an eye on the place," Aether explains.

No way. This has got to be impossible. Could a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity like this really just fall into your lap? Aether smiles, "I remember you once said your dream was to be a florist. And there's an apartment on the second floor, so you don't need to worry about looking for a place to stay." He must be kidding, right? He's definitely joking, and he's going to drop the punchline any minute now. But a few seconds pass in silence and he doesn't say anything – he just looks at you. Tilting his head, he asks, "So, what do you think? Of course, there's no pressure to accept. This must sound pretty wild."

It seems too good to be true, but a part of you doesn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. You've known Aether for years, he's someone you'd trust with your life. He couldn't have undergone a complete personality change in just a couple of years with no contact, right? Everything will be fine and all your issues will be resolved if you agree to this – who wouldn't want that? Inhaling a deep breath, you look at him with a determined expression, “Alright. If you’re serious about this, I’d love to!” An excited grin spreads across his face, “Awesome! When will you be moving in? I can text the rest of my team to prepare anything you need for the store, just say the word.”

The reality of what’s happening seems to crash in on you as he looks at you expectantly, you’re moving into somewhere you’ve never even seen and becoming the owner of a flower shop after years of working a 9-5 desk job. But strangely enough, it isn’t overwhelming at all; it feels like you’re taking the first step towards a new beginning, and instead of nervousness, elation is what’s bubbling up in your heart right now. So it’s with an eager smile that you reply, “Would today be okay?” Aether’s expression mirrors yours, “Definitely!”

And that’s how a coincidental meeting in a coffee shop changed everything for you, placing you on the path that would eventually lead to an elysian dream of a life.

#💫 — elysian !#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact fluff #genshin fluff #aether x reader

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trinkerichi · 2 years

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im thinking abt osomatsu

he’s almost nobody’s favorite character right off the bat, and then everyone who has him as their favorite is SUUUPER heavily introspective about the show because even though he’s the title character he’s probably the hardest to distinguish from the rest when you’re new to the show. He’s the main guy. he’s the default model and all the others are variations. he doesn’t really have a gimmick or a trope to his personality besides maybe gambling and being a jerk.

BUT its kinda perfect because he Defines the show. he’s the entire reason the rest of the brothers are the way they are. he’s the leader and they all know it and they can’t escape him. and its KINDA SAD.

OF course they never dwell or focus on any of the incredibly well built up character traits they establish in this show, i could go on forever about that. But for once I really feel like the majority fandom interpretation of Oso isn’t really reaching at all. He holds onto his childish persona and absolutely refuses to grow from it, because that’s what he’s comfortable with. He has a low image of himself, but doesn’t show it or introspect like Ichi does. I’d argue having a shaky sense of identity is kinda the basis of every matsu’s character flaws, but that’s the most true for this guy. He didn’t have to worry about that stuff as a kid. He was the only one with a personality and the rest just followed along. He didnt HAVE to be anything more than that. If he resented being seen as one of six, he didnt realize it until he grew up, and only now does he realize how much it messed him up. And instead of trying to work on it, he’s just desperately trying to maintain the status quo as long as he can. No matter how much the other brothers try to change themselves and become their own people, in either a jokey or serious way, Oso ALWAYS drags them back down to his level again. Even if it hurts them.

HE HAS GROWN FROM THIS OF COURSE. Very very slowly over the course of the 3 seasons and the movie you can tell he’s a little more willing to try new things and become a little more mature. I mean he couldnt get much worse than ep 24, actually physically hurting the youngest brothers and completely emotionally shutting down when Choro left. But he still kinda does this in less obvious ways in later eps.

I really loved the analysis they did with him in the episode where he goes on a date with Nyaa Chan. He was joking like “haha im gonna score with her lol” but then she actually asks him out for real and he’s SO TERRIFIED. and it’s hilarious and adorable he’s just hiding under the couch and they have to drag him out kicking and screaming for an hour. He’s so afraid of change. He doesn’t trust himself enough to be a “real adult” and do all the things he’s supposed to do. That’s why he tries to lower everyone’s expectations of him, but when THAT doesn’t work he has no idea what to do.

While the other’s dilemmas are that they HAD no identity until they became adults, and are desperately trying to compensate by roping themselves into tropes that they don’t even really fit, Oso is the only one who’s stuck with the same role he’s always had, and it doesn’t fit anymore. It’s because he’s grown up now, and because the others dont need him to define the group anymore, and being the big brother doesn’t really matter anymore. so who IS he?

i didn’t have a point or conclusion to this i just think he’s a very developed and interesting take on a grown up version of a very simply written classic cartoon character and the show gives juuuust enough hints at this for me to be satisfied but i want MORE and i want this for all of the characters cuz im in too deep. thank you for attending my ted talk. next I’ll discuss the “jyushimatsu and concepts” skit and how that boy’s secretly the smartest out of all of them ok bye

*edit: i forgot i didnt even mention Tougou. I mean he’s not canon to the new show so it doesn’t matter but HONESTLY if he was i wouldn’t even be surprised. With all of Oso’s surprisingly intense baggage, him having some kinda childhood trauma would make a LOT of sense. Especially with how clingy he is with his family and how he hates the thought of them leaving. His comfort in dwelling in the past, sabotaging chances to change their lives. IM JUST SAYING it would make sense.

#trinket rambles #osomatsu san

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blamebonk · 1 year

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uuu..... i tried to send an ask just now and i dont think it worked....... sorry if you get two in your inbox!!

But thank u for sharing HCs (not the original anon but just a hc enthusiast.....) i'd love to hear any more you have for Beel! Or perhaps Lord Diavolo.... he's a very fun character to me

ORRRR, perhaps, any takes on the Devildom/the realms, if youre into thinking about the worldbuilding side..... fank youuou ^_^ i give funny image in exchange

LMAO THANK U!!! I’ll take ur image and give you world building thoughts because that sparked something in my brain

Devildom headcanon talk!

Devildom is so super fun so I like to think the demons come in literally every shape and size, some don’t look human and don’t really have a human form ( more like minotaurs or some deep sea creature). Like okay Beel and Diavolo are big but there’s bigger!

There’s also demons out there that are there purely to harm and kill and there’s no school program or threats from royalty that could change them. Demons like those are like…human world cryptids, a lot of biblical sort of horror too as well.

Now that I think about it ( pretty sure this isn't canon like at all??) but the brothers def weren’t the only angels to fall and I guuuessss some of those guys could have also turned into good ol human looking demons….but I think there’s more that don’t have any ‘humanity’ in them. Not powerful enough to fully survive falling in a way... they look like, freaky as fuck HAHA

Like imagine you’re the human exchange student it’s like your 3rd night here and you look out your window and YOO!! A figure at your window, it’s got a deathly complexion but you can almost feel it’s heart beating from here and it feels like you know them and they're telling you to open the window PLEASE just open the window- they need help- the window- there’s a pounding now it’s eyes are burning into your vision-- oh omg mammons here telling you to come out and eat dinner! Stupid human!

Like I’m not good at horror or writing but you get I’m i'm 'gettin at? more brain vom under here!

So there’s creepy scary demons in devildom and also ones that are spooky but you sit next to em at lunch!! Succubus, incubus, demons of ice, demons of fire, demons with two heads, some with six arms…. Demons the size of houses and some the size of Luke.. some chick you passed in the hall looked really slimy but that could have just been a potion accident ..?? And more with specific powers and stuff!

Maybe I’m injecting a little too much silly fantasy Halloween cartoon special into this but like…is that not fun to think abt? HAHAE

I don’t think ALL these demons go to RAD so I bet Diavolo takes Mc with him on a trip outside of the city one day and is like “ we’ll have a lovely brunch outside with Hebulaie !!” Or something and Hebulaie is 20x TIMES DIAVOLOS' SIZE? LIKE NO WONDER WE’RE OUTISIDE!!

One of Beel’s fangol teammates has a cow head and another looked completely human until he turned around and had warthog tusks.

Brothers aren't exempt either! they're some of the most powerful demons out there. they can't seem human forever. Belphie gives me boogey man vibes, you see the outline of some darker figure at right outside your door in the dark ass hallway and it's like not moving at all. you can sorta make out features but its warped and too dark.... then it fuckin MOVES and u freak the hell out. Belphie snickers at you and hops in bed. ( i would maul him immediately )

When you're trying to sneak up the stairs the attic to figure out why you've been having dreams that wake you up in tears, you get a weird feeling and look down the stairs and are met with Lucifer staring right up at you and directly into your soul eheh.

One of Mammon's poker buddies has an arm made of gold, they can't move it or brake it off since it came from a curse of greed. They will tell you the whole story about how the object that cursed him RIGHTFULLY belongs to him!! you think that's why they're still cursed.

All demons have a few forms too, not just the regular human one with wings or tail! Leviathan probably has a sea serpent form bigger than Lotan...Asmo with a centipede like form,, so many hands and legs...ouhrhhggg

there’s demons but there’s also mythical fauna and flora!!! Like centaurs, fairies, jackalope…but also strange shit like a goat that can eject it’s organs out and you’re like “what’s the purpose of that” ‘n Satan tells you “ it’s carnivorous”…as if that explains anything!!?!?

The gay plant from the white day event that specifically goes after demon noses GHAHA i like to think some devildom florist is probably growing some of and advertising them as a fun prank gift...also the amount of harmful things that target or can be used to target humans that are in every day demon life... so fun!!

you know the weird scenarios that happen in adventure time? like the episode where this group of blank eyed girls scare the hell out of finn and jake and it's just really strange but ultimately harmless? stuff like that happens all the time in Devildom LMAO tons of weird unexplainable things happen and most the time it's like,,,okay going to move on with my day now i guess.

I just realized you said REALMS so i wanna add that the human realm isn't devoid of these things. as much as Dia, Barbs, and Luci may try there are alot of demonic things that live in the human realm. I believe the Sorcerers Society + witch covens are a big part of cover up and 'care'. I like to think that makes Solomon's and Mc's time up in the human realm very interesting, especially when Mc becomes his apprentice! Mc gives the brothers SO many gray hairs.

That's all i have right now, i hope that's what you were askin for? I'd love to hear yours and others HC's and input too!! i'm also a HC enthusiast

#obeyme #obey me headcanons #ask response #sorry if theres typos #i type like a maniac #tried to to get all over the place with my thoughts #only got one ask btw! you're all goof!#meant to say good but that works too

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