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aloesarchives · 2 months

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Domestic Headcanons W/ Toji, Megumi, Tsumiki, and Mama!Reader

TW/Warnings: Profanity, Domesticity, AFAB/Female Reader, Family life, Pregnancy, Mention of Sperm but not sexual, unhinged crack, too long(LMK if anything else needs to be tagged)

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her (Usage of Mama, Wife, Mom, Mother)

Word Count: 10k words

This headcanon is paired with this one right here. This can be stand alone for general/modern au. But this one mostly revolves around my Toji Lives AU.

Also, I'll be posting either my Toji/Megumi/Reader mini series or Suguru/Satoru/Reader series this week. Here's the form if you wanted to be tagged in my works. Please let me know if something's up with it.

[!!Edited and Proofread! 3/27/2024 11:48 pm CST!!]

The married life with Toji isn’t any different from prior to marriage. You two live in a fairly spacious apartment for Tokyo Standards and well furnished on top of that.

The basic routine of you and Toji as followed: Toji wakes up and gets ready in 10 minutes, gets the coffee going or anything you drink/eat for breakfast, you wake and get ready for work, you and Toji eat breakfast together for a bit, Toji gives you your work bag and lunch, gives you a kiss and sends you out the door on time, cleans the dishes and table once you leave, looks to see if there’s anything you’re low on or out of and makes a list for it, Toji does some house chores before leaving to go run errands, goes to run said errands and buy some groceries, comes home starts meal prepping, you come home as soon as he’s finished cooking, both of you eat together, then chilling on the couch together after cleaning up, Toji forces you to go to bed, does your nightly care routine with you while brushing your teeth, then pulls you into bed where both of you are knocked out instantly.

House Husband Toji and Working Wife (Y/N) dynamic, I don’t make the damn rules. Well it makes sense as you have a sustainable and consistent job that pays comfortably for minimal work. Honestly, Toji doesn’t mind it at all but you both established your roles in the relationship but help out whenever possible. In fact, he loves being a stay-at-home husband. He gets to do his hobbies and chores without distraction, having a piece of mind, cooking food with you, etc. Highkey loves being domesticated.

While yes, he does get an occasional high paying job/bounty from Shui, they happen a couple times a month. But even then it’s few and far in between. You don’t mind working, your job pays you enough to not take any overtime and you never work the weekends. Plus you get a raise and bonus once in a while so you’re not scrambling to find a second job. Also, it’s worth it since Toji takes care of your shared apartment and you.

Both of you are financially stable to the point of comfort. Like only paying utilities because you and Toji own the apartment. Not having to worry about buying food or paying on time. Not taking up extra hours or shifts to just live. It’s a comfortable and stress-free environment you and Toji have created for yourselves.

Doesn’t understand the fuss about men not being stay at home material and it’s a woman’s job. He just thinks those guys can’t take care of themselves and will force someone to baby them under the guise of tRadItIonAlIsm or some bullshit. He understands if both have their jobs and work to split the house chores. It’s not a luxury everyone has and he knows he’s in the small percentage of people who get to stay home while their spouse works. If it works in the relationship, it works, Toji says. It might not work for some people but you working and Toji staying home works for your relationship. If not, it has made it healthy because there aren’t severe or frustrating arguments about house chores, errand runs, cooking, maintenance, home management.

You do anything in order to help out Toji because that’s your home too. Therefore, your living space you share and it’s your responsibility to at least take care of it. After work, you text Toji if there is anything you need to pick up or do for him while you’re out. 75% of the time he says there’s nothing you have to do, but the 25% is Toji asking you to pick up the dry cleaners, some food items he forgot to get while out, check if there’s a sale going on, or buying detergent and stain remover. Also text with a:

‘Doll, can you actually grab a few things from the supermarket? I’ll send the list to you.’

‘Hon, would you be able to pick up my jacket from the dry cleaners? Thank you’

When you say yes or of course, he’s hitting you with the:

‘Thank you, Sweet Girl. I appreciate all you do.’

‘Stay safe, (Y/N). Call me if anything happens. Love you, Baby’

Talks about buying a house and having a family happen a lot more frequently since the two of you got married. You always wanted to have a family of your own but wanted to wait for a good man to be a good father because you can choose a husband but your children can’t choose their father. But you knew Toji would step up when it happened. Toji didn’t think too far into his future but he knows he wants to have a family with you and grow old together. You changed his mind that he was okay with having a family and doing all that it takes to be a loving father and husband. As if he doesn’t do that already.

That and you two talked about how your genetics would make the most beautiful and good looking babies. Toji would say he wants your kids to have your smile and personality while you told him you want them to have his eyes and nose. This is one of those late night talks you have with him that you absolutely love.

You have an ungodly amount of money saved up to pay the house off in full or less than two years. You decided on one where it was a mix of modern and traditional. It was within walking distance of multiple subway and train stations while not being near the busy parts of the city. It’s in a more quiet suburb with good schools and nature. It’s a big home with the exterior of a traditional home but the interior is a little more modern. The main building is two stories and is the actual house, the building connecting to it is for guests, training/workout room/and a meeting room. The walls that surround the property are tall and sturdy. It looks like a mansion but feels more homey as you two start to make it your own.

So when you tell Toji you’re ready to have a baby, the man goes all in. Trying to watch your cycle and listens to the doctor in increasing his chances of getting you pregnant. Man looks up recipes that increase your fertility rate and balance out your hormones. Thinks about checking his sperm count but you declined saying Toji hasn’t done anything to decrease his numbers.

He definitely got good aim because it didn’t take long to get pregnant. After like 2-3 months of trying, it happened. You missed your period by a week and you decided to get a pregnancy test. You got the double lines and were excited to show Toji. He went to drop off your jacket to get it fixed and came home to find you sitting at the table with a napkin. You tell him to sit and he complies with a bit of concern. You gesture to the napkin and he picks up to see the positive text in front of him. He asks are you for real and you just nod. He pulls you into his laps and holds you while saying thank you and I’m going to be a dad.

Becomes protective of you instantly. Having morning sickness? He gets you a towel and some medicine. Sensitive to certain foods or smells? He will change them to your liking. Need him to do something for you? He’s already a flight of stairs ahead of you. He doesn’t want to stress you and the baby out so he’s doing everything.

As trimesters progress, the more protective and conscious he comes. Once you start showing, say goodbye to carrying items, doing some household chores, running errands, or fucking walking because this man will NOT let you do them. Is at your beck and call for anything and will become scary if people give you a hard time or look at you funny. Toji told you if your boss gives you a hard time, call him and he’ll talk to your boss with no fear or hesitation whatsoever. Once almost killed a man because he accidentally bumped into you. Toji had this look of death in his eyes as he grabbed the guy by the collar and forced him to apologize to you. Make sure the guy actually apologizes too. Walking? Who is she? You are only walking a couple of feet before he says ‘nah’ and picks you up to carry you. You tell him you can walk but it falls on deaf ears. Then you get concerned about being heavy for Toji. The man has never been more offended in his life. He looks at you, dead in the eyes, and says: “What kind of husband am I for not being able to comfortably carry my beautiful and pretty pregnant wife? If I can’t carry you, I need you to kill me, (Y/N).” You just get used to him carrying you around.

Always find a seat for you on a bus or the train. Will scare a guy who isn’t tired from work to give you the seat. Always hold your hand during the rides.

Talk to your bump every night. Hands on your stomach, face unbearably close to it, kneels on the floor or lies in bed to talk to it as you run your fingers through his hair. He’ll say some things that make you laugh but he mostly say sweet and warm things to your baby as he just wants to love and protect them. Definitely says:

“You know your mama is the prettiest and most beautiful woman out there? You’re so lucky to have her because you will be unconditionally loved and cared for. How do I know this? Because your mama loves me too, Kiddo.”

“Hey, be nice to mama. She’s not having the best time so I need you to go easy on her. Please, little one.”

“Hi, this is your old man speaking to you. I don’t care whether you’re a boy or girl. I will always love you no matter what. I wanna meet you soon.”

Does the thing where he lifts up your bumps to alleviate some of the weight for a bit and smiles when you relax into him.

When he touches your bump and feels a kick, he is so happy that his head is glued to your bump so he can feel it.

Buys your cravings whenever and whatever it is. It could be late at night and you’re asking him to get you your egregious food combo. He doesn’t understand your cravings but will not complain to you until it’s a straight up abomination. THEN, he just cooks you anything you want because he’s lowkey scared about your cravings affecting your health.

Daily/Hourly reminders of how beautiful and gorgeous you are. Body worshiping and praising, especially since you are carrying his child. The amount of reassurance and sincerity that comes from his words makes you cry a lot, and it’s not because of your hormones. He’s so sweet and loving with his words towards you, it makes you fall in love with him all over again.

Goes to every appointment with you and never fucking misses one. Actually, he is the one to remind you about them. Has this soft look in his eyes as he looks at the ultrasound seeing your baby. Asks for at least two copies so he can frame one of them and hang it somewhere in the house.

Doesn’t care if it’s a boy or girl, as long it’s half of you that’s all that matters.

You always tell him your love and appreciation for all that he has done for you and the baby since he has a tendency to push himself a lot more than he has to. A kiss and a hug will do the trick because he goes all soft for you every time. It’s amusing to you how your huge, seemingly intimidating, husband can become a warm melted putty at the snap of your fingers. But then again, you have him wrapped around your finger completely.

Grows more cautious and protected once you go on maternity leave in your final months of the final trimester. Constantly asking how you are feeling that day or hour, grabs everything within arms reach if there is anything you need or could get you, if you need help with everything in general. It’s not the point of overbearing or suffocating, it gets a bit annoying but you know Toji means well. You assume he’s concerned and worried for you and the baby because he is afraid you will have complications during the birth. It’s terrifying to him to know there’s a slight chance you could die while giving birth to your baby and he couldn’t do anything to help you.

So when you DO go into labor, man’s is a bit scared but also prepared with your bag ready in hand. Drives you to the hospital, checks you in, and makes you feel comfortable while giving birth.

Is holding your hand during the whole thing while wiping away the sweat off your forehead and face.

Says encouraging and calming words to keep you focused and at ease. Guides you through deep breaths and keeps you grounded:

“Take a deep breath for me, Honey.”

“You’re doing so good, Mama. So amazing.”

“I’m here with you, Sweet Girl. Keep squeezing my hand. Trust me, it doesn’t hurt. Hold onto me, (Y/N).”

Sheds a few tears when your daughter comes out and starts crying. Kisses your cheek and forehead while praising you for doing a phenomenal job.

Cuts the cord while you’re coming down from your intense birthing process.

Lets you sleep and relax while he cuddles and holds your daughter with his shirt off for skinship.

Once you wake up, he buys you any food you want since you’re not pregnant anymore. Spoon feeds you while saying you did a wonderful job and asking how you feel.

Once you hold your daughter, he’s over the moon. You look so perfect and ethereal the man thanks the gods for blessing him with you as his wife and your daughter, the proof of your love.

Lets you name her since she is a girl and the first-born. You name her Tsumiki because it’s a cute name for a pretty girl. She gets most of her traits from you besides her hair texture. Toji comments that a pretty girl deserves a pretty name because she was birthed by an elegant and demure woman. You chuckle at him and his sappiness but it brings you a certain type of happiness that Toji was expressing this side of himself more comfortably.

Once discharged, gets the car to bring you and your daughter to your new home where she’ll and her sibling(s) grow up.

Lets you have your bonding time with Tsumiki while you’re on your six months maternity leave. He lives to see you hold and carry your daughter around the house.

Takes care of everything in the house and helps you out during your postpartum. Reminds you of your beauty, that he still loves you and your body, how grateful he is for everything you’ve done for giving him this life.

Gets the hang of parenting faster than you did. Toji already knows how to burp, change, feed, and bathe your daughter.

Lets you sleep and rest more when Tsumiki cries at night by getting up to calm her down himself. Ends up sleeping in the rocking chair with her on his chest.

Tries to play and entertain her as much as he can. Toji is more of a stuffed animal guy than dolls because they’re more inclusive and genderless. But he will buy dolls for Tsumiki when she asks for them once she's old enough.

Tears up when she takes her first steps as she tries to walk towards both of you.

Her first words were Papa for sure but then Mama two weeks later.

Tsumiki is a fairly calm and happy baby. Moves around but isn’t super hyper and energetic. Very smiley and giggly baby that brights up the room she’s in. Always puts you and Toji in a good mood.

Toji is the type of guy to wait for you to give him the green light for another child. Even though the doctor says you’ve made a good recovery, he ain’t pouncing on you until you tell him so. Your doctor asked if she needed to write a note that you weren’t ready for another baby for some time but you told her you’ll be fine because Toji isn’t THAT TYPE OF GUY. On top of respecting you and your body, Toji highkey wants to have age gaps with your children. Like at least a year and a half or so they can be close in age and grow up together, but also give time for you and him to adjust to being first-time parents.

It was after Tsumiki’s first birthday that you said you wouldn’t mind having another kid. Then Toji and you tried for another kid. Happened fast per usual with minimal effort once again. Toji’s goo is pretty strong lol.

He was there with you when you took the pregnancy test and it had the fable two lines. Hugs you close and is excited to give Tsumiki another sibling.

Unfortunately, your second pregnancy wasn’t as forgiving as your first. In fact, your second child was pretty brutal on you. You were more sensitive to everything and your symptoms multiplied by three. It was a struggle but you managed to pull through but barely.

Hurts Toji a lot because you’re in a lot of discomfort compared to being pregnant with Tsumiki. Steps up tenfold to help out and make things better for you.

Tsumiki just plays on the floor in her pen as you watch her while dealing with her younger sibling and Toji's making food in the background.

When you both found out it was a boy after a couple of months, you told Toji he can name the baby this time since you did with your first-born. It threw you off a bit when he said Megumi, a name that means blessing. You talked about names before but this was a new one both of you haven’t brought up yet. Perhaps it was a name Toji wanted but forgot to mention

Man, Megumi was a hard pregnancy. He was an energetic one in your womb. Always makes you lose sleep, loss of appetite, or straight up moody. Toji always talked to Megumi, lowkey begging him to be more gentle on you and not be so rough.

Once Megumi was born, you knew that’s Toji kid because he barely took anything from you. The nose, the eyes, the hair, even his small pout, it was all Toji. Toji was crying once again that your son is born but he takes after his old man. Tsumiki was just happy to see the little baby that is her younger brother.

After Megumi, you and Toji decide that this is ENOUGH children for now. Especially since you have two children under the age of three.

Megumi, however, was an interesting baby. Tsumiki likes being held by both you and Toji, she never picked favorites. Megumi, on the other hand, was attached to you like glue. Technically, all babies are but Megumi never liked being away from you. Megumi was very clingy when it came to you, his mama. You have to hold him or be in his line of sight if you’re not.

Megumi is a certified mama’s boy. He’s all sweet to you, with his gummy smile and bright big eyes as he laughs when you hold.

His first and only words were Mama for a while until he said Papa.

Megumi becomes fussy and cranky if you’re not in the room. He wants you there when he wakes up, to feed him, change him, bathe him, everything. If Toji has to do it, it will take double the time because Megumi is all uncooperative and resistant to his father’s attempts to care for him. It helps if you’re in the room or nearby then Megumi will behave but if that's because he knows you’re there.

Baby Megumi glares at Toji over your shoulder when you’re making his and Tsumiki’s food. Toji glares at his son's back. As he gets older and can walk, Megumi always runs towards you. Place himself on the couch, floor, chair, any surface he can sit on so he is seated next to you. One time, Toji’s head was in your lap as you watched the news in front of you. Megumi was mad because he was supposed to sit next to you. But Toji was faster than him and sat himself where he’s currently positioned. Tsumiki was in front of the couch playing with her stuffed animals on the floor. Megumi decided to grab his doggy plushie and started hitting Toji’s face with it. Toji yelped while you grabbed Megumi and placed him in your lap. Megumi holds onto you while you and your husband exchange shocked looks.

Megumi purposefully and accidentally cock blocks Toji. It’s explained more in this headcanon here.

It’s exhausting to take care of Megumi because he always wants you and never Toji. It kind of sucks because you want Megumi to bond with Toji more as you also don’t want to neglect Tsumiki as well.

Both of you take turns caring for your two kids. It’s so cute to see Megumi bonding with Toji as Megumi smiles a bit more when he’s with his dad. Tsumiki just likes hugging you and so you hold her ever so dearly.

Tsumiki and Megumi never really fight, which you find odd since it’s common for siblings to fight with each other. That’s when you keep observing and notice Tsumiki will let Megumi have his way even though she didn’t have to. Though you appreciate her being an older sibling, you have to remind her she can say no to Megumi if she doesn’t want to. Also reminding her to tell you or Toji if anything happens and not feel scared or ashamed for asking for help.

But Tsumiki is such a sweet child, she says she doesn’t mind at all when it comes to Megumi. But you brought it up to Toji because you don’t want Megumi to become very spoiled nor do you want Tsumiki to feel it’s okay to disregard her needs. Toji understands your concerns and tries to reassure you that he won’t let that happen as they get older.

While you were away from work, Megumi snatched Tsumiki’s pillow pet dolphin from her hands and Toji saw all of it. Toji put Megumi in time-out while he comforted Tsumiki. She wasn’t crying but he could tell she would have if he didn’t step in. Toji refrains from yelling and acting out because you told him that’ll strain his relationship with the kids. It’s easier and effective but it has long-term effects that negatively affect the parent-child relationship and the child themselves, something you knew all too well. So Toji is patient with Megumi, telling him it’s not nice to take things that aren’t his, especially when it’s his older sister’s stuff. That he should understand that Tsumiki doesn’t like it when he does and only lets him have them so he wouldn’t get upset. Toji makes Megumi apologize to Tsumiki but Tsumiki already forgave Megumi.

Toji being patient with his kids is hard and always tests him as a parent. Then he remembers how you told him having a family with him isn’t going to be the easiest thing in the world. But children deserve parents who will love and care for them unconditionally, who will be patient and understanding no matter what, to not make them wish they were someone else in order to please their parents. You didn’t want your children to experience what you did growing up and you believe Toji is someone who will help you make that dream come true. So he continues with his gentle/patient parenting method because he knows it will pay off in the end.

Since you’re going to work most of the day, he’s always the one to take care of them. Toji always takes them to the park or outside so they can run around and be kids. Forces them to go with him to run errands so they can get used to it. Megumi hates this while Tsumiki loves it. After some time, they get used to it and ask Toji to take them on the errand runs. Like going to the local butcher for meat then to the supermarket for everything else. Toji makes this a learning experience for the two by teaching them how to pick and order what they want. He teaches them what each ingredient is and explains why he buys it. Because of this, Megumi and Tsumiki know how to do errands by themselves and get things on the way home from school if Toji texts them to get something.

Megumi doesn’t admit it but he always follows Tsumiki’s lead. Especially when they start going to the same school together. When Tsumiki gets a fever/cold and can’t go to school, Megumi is a little nervous because he’s going by himself. So Toji had to comfort Megumi that he will be okay and Tsumiki will be proud of him for being able to go by himself.

Tsumiki is a quiet extrovert but Megumi is a raging introvert. Megumi, due to his aloof nature, doesn’t have many friends. You became worried because maybe there was something you weren’t noticing with Megumi. So you went to get Megumi checked out and the doctor ruled it out due to his personality and high intelligence. The doctor says it’s common for some children to prefer their own personal space rather than making friends. Though it does encourage you to have Megumi expose himself to kids around his age so he’s not socially distant.

This is where you and Toji butted heads for a bit. You don’t want to force Megumi into something that he doesn’t want. But Toji wants Megumi to interact with other kids that’s not Tsumiki so he can make friends. Megumi just doesn’t like people who are not his family. That’s the conclusion you both draw in the end.

Jungle gym Toji. Ever since they could crawl, Megumi and Tsumiki have been climbing on Toji like a rock wall. They hang off his arms, hold onto neck, climb onto his back, they’re all over him. Well, Toji is built like a mountain so it feels like they’re climbing Mt. Fuji. Toji isn’t bothered by this at all. In fact, he likes it when his kids are playing with him.

When Toji works out, whether it’s outside in the courtyard or in the workout room, he has the kids nearby playing somewhere. Would definitely ask Megumi and Tsumiki to sit on his back while he does push ups.

Hides his old weapons in the shed outside the house, he makes the excuse it’s for gardening tools and snow shovels so the kids aren’t curious.

Doesn’t do baby/kiddie talk to his kids. Obviously he’s gentle when he speaks to his kids but he also isn’t going to dumb things down for them. He’ll speak to them like a regular person but has a soft tenderness for children. It’s actually pretty sweet to see it.

The type of man to say to his children, “Isn’t Mama pretty? She is pretty, right?” Saying positive things about you to Megumi and Tsumiki. Then the two will say those lovely words back. You do this with Toji too. Telling the kids “Papa’s strong, right? He’s so cool.” “Papa made us this lovely dinner. Isn’t Papa amazing, you two?” Shit it so cute, I swear.

Speaking of food, Toji makes their lunches. From preschool to high school, he makes Megumi and Tsumiki’s lunches. It’s a challenge as they get older because both have different food preferences but he takes up on it. Just like with your lunch, everyone is in awe and jealous of their food. It’s always something good every time and it always smells good. Yuuji and Nobara ask Megumi if his dad could make them one and the next day Megumi brings two extra bentos for the both of them. Courtesy from Toji himself.

The type of man to make the kids their character bentos and eat the scraps/leftovers. Like the picture where the kid has a cute breakfast while the parent eats the cut out bread and fruit left over.

Family nap time! This is quite common in the Fushiguro household. You come home from work, sometimes earlier than scheduled, to see them laid out on the floor with a blanket underneath them. Sometimes, if the weather is enjoyable, they would nap outside. Toji is holding both kids in his burly arms while Tsumiki and Megumi hold each other’s hands. It’s so adorable that you have multiple pictures saved in an album in the house. You would join them as well. A family napping pile.

Speaking of which, you have many albums from over the years as a family. Up until the present day, you have so many pictures of your children and your husband having their little family moments. Some wholesome, some embarrassing, others are cool photos or stolen shots. I don’t know if this fits Toji but I’m projecting here: he’ll have photos of your family throughout the years on the walls and tables of your home. But mainly, the ones he loves the most are the portraits of the family. They’re five of them. The first one is of you and Toji, the second one is you two with baby Tsumiki, the third is you holding baby Megumi as Tsumiki is standing with Toji, the fourth is the four of you with the kids who are six and seven, then the fifth one is taken from present day where the kids are teenagers while you and Toji haven’t aged at all. All of them have you wearing formal wear/Kimonos. He gets these personally commissioned and they’re 17 inches(43.18 cm) by 14 inches(35.56 cm), which is fairly large.

Since you work 6 hours of the day, Toji always takes the kids to and from school. It’s not a problem for him nor the kids as they know you are working and making mula for them. The problem is, a lot of parents believe he’s a single dad. More so, the moms of the other students. Toji wears his wedding band on his LEFT FINGER that’s SHINING when the sun hits it and people still couldn’t take a hint. As he picks up the kiddos, a lot of moms go up to talk to him to pass time. He knows most of them are trying to flirt with him, very few only genuinely talk to him. Toji doesn’t play games when it comes to his status and is very blunt if the woman can’t get the message.

“I have a wife.”

“I’m married.”

“The love of my life and the mother of my children is working right now.”

Bro, some of these moms are jumping hurdles just to get a chance with Toji. Toji would keep on flashing his wedding band and they are fucking delusional to think they still got a shot. Someone thought he was a widower even though you were ALIVE AND WELL. Toji felt his eyes twitch as he scowled at the accusation. Toji legit wanted to push her but can’t because he’s a big guy and all. ‘Fuck, I can’t put my hands on a woman. I’ll have (Y/N) do it instead.’ Toji tells you about this and he is more mad than you are about it, which you don’t blame him for. On Friday afternoon, school’s out and the parents are picking up the kids. Tsumiki waits for Megumi outside his classroom door as they always walk out together to get picked up by Toji. As they walked out, they were surprised to see you with Toji in your work clothes. They went into a full on sprint in your direction and you crouched down to hug them both. After giving each other a good squeeze, they hugged Toji. The look on the woman’s face when she saw you was priceless. Tsumiki was hugging Toji while Megumi was reaching for you and you took him in your arms. You turn around and feign a friendly smile her way with such an elegant but dominant introduction.

“Oh hi! I’m (Y/N). You never saw me here since I work as a (occupation). Toji takes care of the kids when I’m away working. But I come every now and then when I get off early. Thanks for keeping my husband company! Though, you shouldn’t press on a married man when he refuses your advances. I mean, it’s not like his wife and the mother of his children has resources when most of the population doesn't. So, try to refrain yourself from stepping into the deep end, Dear. It was nice knowing you!”

Toji thought that was hot af. Tsumiki was hugging Toji’s neck because she was tired while Megumi glared at the woman. After that, no woman ever approached Toji after that.

FAMILY OUTINGS!!! Ugh, you always have one every weekend with your family. The favorites are the zoo and the park. Megumi on Toji’s shoulders while Tsumiki holds both you and Toji’s hands, she swings in-between the two of you. You go to all the exhibits your children want to go to. Tsumiki likes the marine enclosures while Megumi prefers more of the forest and savanna ones. You never could forget the way your son slightly bounces on his dad’s shoulders when he sees an elephant. He lets out a gasp of awe while calling out to you, “Mama mama, look! Look at the elephant!” “I can see it, Baby. You like elephants, Gumi?” “Yeah!” “What about you, Tsumiki-dear?” “I think they’re cool, Mama.” Toji tries to feed the animals but the animals are so scared of him like he is the most dangerous one which is true. This also goes for festivals as well, wandering the stalls and food stands. Toji winning every game you stop by and getting prizes his kids want, if his kids want it he’ll get it. The whole day is fun but exhausting once you come home. Toji carries the kids home along with the family bag. The kids are knocked out and easy to tuck in as you and Toji decompress.

As the kids get older and mature, it’s easier to go places like Kyoto. Megumi and Tsumiki are more of exploring and sight-seeing individuals, which makes it easy on you and Toji so you don’t have to spend a lot of money to do those extravagant things. They just want to experience the surroundings and life without sticking out too much. They like the trips when you all stay at a Ryokan Onsen, it’s relaxing. Especially for Megumi since he’s away from Gojo, Itadori, and Kugisaki. He loves his teacher and classmates but they can be a handful to deal with. Once they get older, they have school and you and Megumi have missions so these family outings happen less. But if everyone’s home, you four go out and do whatever depending on the weather. Spring and early summer are good times of the year because the cherry blossoms are in bloom and the weather is pleasant. You usually go out and have a picnic when the trees are blossoming. It’s simple but sweet to get together so your kids will have some memories they can look back on fondly.

There is this scenario that I can’t stop thinking about but it’s Toji coded: After a day of family bonding, Toji is standing in the train while you and your kids are sitting. It was full but not crowded. During one of the stops, Tsumiki ends up giving her seat to a pregnant woman who’s around her late stages of the 2nd trimester. Toji pets her head as she stands next to him, holding onto his pants as you send a sweet approving smile her way. She sends one back as she grips onto Toji to steady herself. Megumi is in our lap, completely gone into the world of dream as he clutches closer to you. The stop before the one you all get off, Tsumiki helps the pregnant lady up and walk her towards the door. The lovely lady thanks her, gives her a piece of paper to her family bakery which your family become regulars later on, before waving at her and you two. Mouthing ‘You have a wonderful daughter.' You and Toji glance at each other and smile. As your stop approaches, Tsumiki asks Toji if she can carry Megumi. He asks why and she replies, “Because Mama’s tired and I can carry Megumi for her.” Toji glances down at you and see the droopiness as they flutter to keep themselves open. He crouches down, pets Tsumiki on the head, saying she is a kind and sweet kid but he will take care of it. He asks her to give him your bag while he exchanges it for his jacket. Tsumiki places his jacket around you and Toji tells her to get into your lap. She does and you wrap your free arm around her. The next thing she knows, he’s carrying you in both of his arms while you hold your children. Once the train doors open, the incoming passengers are met with a towering man holding his sleeping wife and kids in his arms. They part to make way for him and he WALKS the whole way home. His arms never tired or aching. Tsumiki smiles up at him and comments how cool and strong he is, “You’re always strong and cool, Papa.” He just chuckles in his whole deep, simp-worthy, DILF voice before crouching down to let her stand since she grabbed the house keys. She unlocks the door and holds it open for him. They take off their shoes as Toji places you and Megumi on the couch while Tsumiki gets her Sanrio blanket to place it over you and her brother. You wake up an hour later to Toji cooking dinner as Tsumiki uses her color pencils on her coloring book. You wake up Megumi and have dinner together as a family.

Has no problem carrying you and his children in his arms. Like he can carry a 8 year old Tsumiki and a 7 year old Megumi like it’s nothing. He can carry you, Tsumiki and Megumi around without getting tired. You do the trend where Toji is holding you, Megumi and Tsumiki as kids then you retake the same picture but when the two are in their late teens. The point of those pictures were meant to show Toji is still strong; if not, stronger after becoming a father. If the kids fall asleep on the couch while watching a movie, he’s carrying them to their beds. They did their homework late at night on the kitchen table and are too tired to go to their rooms, he will take them to their beds no problem. You fell asleep on the couch because you came home extremely late from work or a mission. Toji is getting you to bed with him using his oversized shirt as your PJs. When Megumi, Yuuji and Nobara are out cold from their sleepover, Toji covers them with a huge blanket and gives them each a pillow.

I discuss this a little bit in this but I’ll expand upon it here. Megumi and Tsumiki are way less traumatized. Megumi has sass and is aloof but that’s his personality. The reality is, Megumi isn’t as withdrawn or quick to make assumptions about people. He seems reserved but his walls aren’t thick or tall. He’s not going to summon Mahoraga in every death situation but just sometimes uses it as a last resort because he hasn't pushed himself to his limits. It’s more of the lack of knowledge behind his technique since you and Toji can only know so much. Plus you and Toji, specifically Toji, aren’t letting the Zen’in clan be near your children. Tsumiki also isn’t inclined to act more mature and take on adult responsibilities. She is allowed to be a kid and have a childhood, same goes with Megumi. Plus, the two are raised in a loving household. Is it a traditional one? Nope, not in the slightest. Their mom works while their dad stays at home. But it's a functional, healthy, content family. You and Toji have tried to set good examples for your children on love, relationships, and the process of communicating. There are some pitfalls every now and then. Yet Megumi and Tsumiki have seen honesty, patiences, and openness when you and Toji talk things out.

Plus they know the rule you and Toji have: never fight in front of the kids. Matters between you and your husbands are between you two only. You never wanted to drag your children into the argument themselves. Obviously, when they are younger, you have to explain to them that you and Toji weren’t on the same page and are mad at each other. As they get older, you explain what the argument/conversation was about transparently. Megumi and Tsumiki also notice how after you and Toji clear up things the both of you never made snide remarks about each other in the slightest. This helps the kids out a lot because they never felt like walking on eggshells. That’s why Tsumiki and Megumi never really worried about you and Toji splitting over bad blood. They know you and Toji aren’t going to stay stubborn for long and make up no matter the circumstances. But there was an argument that both of them never can forget. They didn’t witness it themselves but they knew it was the worst argument you both had, and this happened when Tsumiki and Megumi were TEENAGERS. It lasted for a WHOLE DAY, the longest you two have been in the waters of the aftermath. The two of them wanted to say something but they knew better when you and Toji told them to not involve your affairs. It was worrying them to the point Megumi asked Tsumiki if this would create a rift. However, being the older sister she is, says the both of you will work through it. And she was right when the two of them came home to see you and Toji on the engawa wrapped up in each other’s arms with a blanket over you both.

Tsumiki loves the flowers and plants in your garden beyond the courtyard. When you take her outside and show her the pretty flowers and plants, she has this sparkle in her eyes as you touch and hold the flowers up to her. As she gets older, she spends most of her time in the garden as you are sitting under the tree with your blanket keeping the dirt away from you. When you mentioned to Toji the garden would look better if there were more plant diversity, the man is handing you a list of your favorite plants and flowers you want. The next few days to weeks, the plants you wanted are already in your garden and blending in well with your home. He is also doing this legally, and doesn't want to be a bio-terrorist by accident.

Toji does this with Tsumiki too. She had this book about flowers from her school’s library and told him that those flowers were pretty and nice. She kept drawing them, saying they would look good in the garden. The next week, there was a bush of them in her favorite spot. Your garden becomes the Garden of Eden with the amount of plant life you and Tsumiki bring in. You do basic gardening but Tsumiki and Toji have the green thumbs in the family. They’re the ones doing maintenance on the garden. Mostly Toji since Tsumiki goes to school and isn’t always home.

Toji does all the planting, replotting, mulching, everything a garden needs. The type to cut the hedges into a perfect shape because it fills his ego and makes him productive. Like one time, Megumi brings over Yuuji and Nobara to hangout and they see Toji cutting the hedges into a cool dragon. Toji wipes the sweat off his forehead to see the fruits of his labor, smirking to himself saying, “I’m so fucking good at this. I’m literally the best.”

Megumi lets his Shikigami out into the garden because they like to hang out outside. The only ones allowed in the house are his divine dogs because Toji doesn't want to see a huge owl or elephant in the living room.

Come to think of it, you and Tsumiki are the main ones who decide what goes in and out of the house. The flowers and the garden were just an example. Furniture, appliances, the color of the blinds and curtains, the interior and exterior, hell everything at this point. If you and Tsumiki made a comment about the appearance of something and it started with the words if, what, wonder, he’s already pulling the catalog for ideas. It’s mostly curiosity but if both you and Tsumiki bring it up, he’s changing it to your liking. Megumi never understands this because he’s the “it is what it is” or “I’m fine with it.” Megumi would be visiting home from school and sees Toji rearranging some of the furniture or building something from scratch in the backyard and he doesn’t question it.

Speaking of which, besides the appliances/photos/silverware/complicated items, almost everything in the house is made by him or customized by him. Tsumiki and Megumi’s rooms? Toji made them into their liking. The main bedroom? All Toji’s work. Not one spot in this house hasn’t been adjusted or changed by Toji. That’s why you credited your house to being the perfect home, all because of Toji. You always remind him that his work is much appreciated around this house. He’ll just smirk but you can see the way his ears fade into a pink rose color. He loves it when you say stuff like that to him. IF the kids say it to him, his grin is stuck on his face for a whole 24 hours.

THE HANGOUT HOUSE! You know how there’s always that one friend where almost every hangout occurs at their home? That’s Megumi, it’s literally him. Technically since Yuuji permanently lives in the dorms and Kugisaki used to live in the countryside, Megumi is the only person in the trio to have an official home. They pass by it a lot when they go exploring or hanging out. Megumi never said anything but the two notice how he stares at it for some time. Then some shenanigans happen and they had to take cover in Megumi’s home. Mind you, Yuuji and Nobara were looking at Megumi like he committed a war crime when he b-lined to the house. And they know it’s a nice house. They were yelling at Megumi saying they were trespassing and they’ll be in some deep shit if they get caught. But Megumi yells at them to trust him as he opens one of the doors. Then Yuuji and Nobara start begging him to not get them killed because they finally see that the home is a literal MANSION. They think they’re cooked by whomever lives here. But from Megumi’s reaction, they’re wondering if Megumi knows the person that lives here. Then when they go inside the actual home, they slide off their shoes and walk to what’s the common area of the house(kitchen/living room). Then Yuuji notices one of the photos and sees kid Megumi and three other people. Nobara shoves herself to see it and they both turn around to Megumi grabbing a pitcher of some sort of drink out of the fridge. “YOU LIVE HERE, FUSHIGURO!?!?” “Oi, not so loud! My sister isn’t home yet but my parents are so quiet.” They don’t meet Toji here but later on because he was doing something with Shui. But you pop in and the students instantly recognize you. You force Megumi to show them around the house and they are in absolute awe. The moment they see his cool ass room, this house is their default hangout spot.

Sleepovers happen often, Megumi doesn’t want them to but you insist since he could just use one of the bigger guest bedrooms or his own room if he wanted. They stay up watching movies, shows, or watching youtube videos or documentaries just because. They do the laughing challenge to see if Megumi actually laughs. He does but fewer far in between.

Toji embarrasses the hell out of Megumi. You don’t purposefully but by accident. Yuuji and Nobara would see Toji going into the kitchen to get a glass of water, see the color drain from Megumi’s face, then ask Toji about anything relating to Megumi. Then Toji spills the TEA on Megumi, it’s so funny. If Megumi won’t spill then his dad definitely would. Megumi’s face becomes like a tomato when anything about him comes out of his dad’s mouth.

Your house is stocked up on everything. There’s nothing in this house you wouldn’t have. Nobara needed some period products and you literally gave her a basket full of them. If she needs something else, you run to the store to get it for her. Yuuji forgot his toothpaste? You gave him a new tube and another one for his dorm. You tell them to ask you or Toji for anything if they need it. Nobara and Yuuji ask you to adopt them.

After a certain point, they just come over and ask for you instead of Megumi. He gets so annoyed and mad at them for it.

But you always insist on sleepover because Megumi finally has friends that he can call his own. It makes you happy he surrounds himself with good people and Toji agrees.

They know Megumi is balling in money which he always denies. But Yuuji brings up that Megumi has a Gameboy, Gameboy color, a DS lite, 3DS XL, a Switch OLED in his room. They’re all blue with every Pokémon game to have ever been released. He’s not beating the rich allegations.

Megumi is so irritated with Toji, it’s absolutely hilarious. I said it before and I’ll say it again: once Megumi is high school age, he’s an angsty teenager. Dude just gets so annoyed at his dad for existing, he only imagines it’s just you, him, and Tsumiki only. Toji asks him to do something, will do it but will grumble under his breath about it. But if you or Tsumiki ask him to do something, he has no attitude. Megumi is more softer with his sister and you but his dad? Nah, if he inherits everything from his dad, he’ll use them to his disposal against his Pops. He and Toji butt heads a lot but it’s never serious. Tsumiki sometimes wants to stop it but you tell her it’s a father son bonding thing.

Megumi inherited Toji’s grumpiness. Actually Megumi inherited a lot of things from Toji but he doesn’t want to admit it. Physically, Megumi is a mini version of Toji. Personality-wise, fairly similar. It’s just his hair curls up a bit but you believe it’s a recessive gene from a distant relative that decided to come out in a rare time.

Never tell Megumi he looks and acts like his dad. It will temporarily ruin his mood for like an hour or so. He legit got so mad. Put a side by side picture of the two and show it to him and he’ll walk away. If he’s compared to his mom? The saintess who does no wrong? Hell yeah he’ll take up the compliment. But his old man? He has his own personal beef with that. It’s when you or Tsumiki tell him he’s like Toji because you’re his family and know his antics better than anyone. But if it was someone like Gojo-sensei? He’s throwing a roast back. “Man, Megumi-kun. You’re just like old man Toji, grumpy and full of attitude.” “And that’s the same old man who was able to beat you and lived. I don’t wanna hear anything from you, Gojo-sensei.” Gojo cried to you about why your son was so mean to him while Suguru was absolutely done with him.

Tsumiki took a picture of Megumi when his hair was still damp from a shower, he looked so much like Toji. She showed you the picture and you asked her to send it to you. She shows Toji and Toji smirks to himself, knowing he’ll dangle that over Megumi’s head for as long as he lives. Toji gets his and Megumi’s side by side comparison framed in the house lol.

Sometimes Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko babysit younger Megumi and Tsumiki when you and Toji are busy. Tsumiki loves them, tolerating Satoru at best. But Megumi is irked by Satoru’s presence and only hangs out with Shoko and Suguru. Hates Gojo’s constant teasing but from pure annoyance. He and Tsumiki grow up with them and that’s why both of them know the three long before anyone else did.

Megumi gets irritated during Middle and High School because his parents are HOT. He remembers when his classmates from middle school would ask who’s the woman waving at him/man that grins his directions. Megumi grimaces and says “That’s my mom/dad.” Then his peers would start gushing about how gorgeous and demure you are/handsome and attractive Toji is. He wants them to shut up about it. If it’s only one of you, some of his peers would say, “Can your mom/dad fight?” Megumi wanted to punch them so badly, but refrains himself because he doesn’t want to waste his punches on a rando. It doesn’t help when he goes to the same school as Tsumiki, it’s the same THING. He knows people gush about him but he could care less. It just irritates him to no end when others do it on his family members. So when both you and Toji show up to school to take Megumi and Tsumiki out, everyone is just looking at Megumi and his attractive family. They can see where he got his genes from. His gene pool was created by divinity itself. His mom’s attractive, his dad’s attractive, his sister’s attractive, then they look at Megumi and see that he’s attractive. It gets worse with Yuuji and Nobara. They make remarks about it every time, how show stopping your looks are, his dad had people of all sexualities swooning, and his sister made people have hearts in their eyes.

Nobara: “That’s not fair! Fushiguro gets his amazing looks and genes from the two most heavenly beautiful people in the world and he’s not using them! God has favorites for sure.”

Yuuji: “But Fushiguro-kun is using his good-looks though, Kugisaki! He’s just the more silent, mysterious, aloof type of guy that every secretly wants, you'know?”

Megumi: “Can you two just shut it right now!? Stop talking about my parents or appearance! Focus on the damn mission!”

Family dinners are silent but content. Everyone always eats together whenever possible since Toji’s done cooking dinner at 6:30pm. There’s some talking here and there but everyone is more focused on enjoying the meal Toji cooks for them. The kids clean up after themselves and usually fill the sink with hot water to place their dirty dishes inside. They prefer to eat their dad’s cooking any day. Yuuji and Nobara come over to have dinner every now and then. That’s when it’s more lively since they’re always gushing about Toji’s food.

Your children are so protective of you because of their father. Toji tells them there are some people out there that won’t respect you and tells Megumi and Tsumiki it’s their job to tell him if anyone bothered them or you. They mostly tell him about the amount of men who try to hit on you even though you said you’re already married to Toji, flashing your wedding ring, when you pick up Megumi and Tsumiki from school. Toji shows up with you, sizing up every male in the vicinity while puffing his chest. You roll your eyes but silently admit it was hot. It doesn’t change when they get older, they just hide it better. You could be in the grocery store in the produce section and some guy is hitting on you. You don’t have your wedding ring on because your fingers were sore and it hurt to wear jewelry on your hand. But you wore it on in a necklace. The guy wasn’t taking no for an answer until he saw two people behind you, staring down this man. It’s your son and husband. Then your daughter pops up and steals you away to look at a sale of some fruits she wanted. Leaving the poor man in the wrath of Megumi and Toji. They only put their hands on someone if they harass you or down right disrespect in any form. Mostly they’ll give a talk to the individual that’s not so courtesy of you. The best thing about this whole thing? The teens and Toji saw it all happen and made it into a whole operation. Tsumiki was in on it too, bruh. The men collectively agree to stare down any person that looked at you funny. Tsumiki isn’t so serious but she’s more subtle with her warnings and hints. You remembered when Toji was talking to Megumi about dealing with these situations. “Megumi, when you bring your dogs out, I need you to have them bite the guy in the balls if they try something with your mother or snatch their bag if they’re a woman.” “TOJI!” “I was thinking about the same thing, Dad.” “MEGUMI (L/N) FUSHIGURO! PLEASE! I can’t with you two!”

Those family talks. Like when Megumi opens up to you or Toji about something, it could be anything but it’s mostly personal things. You know it’s serious when it’s just him sitting at the kitchen table while you and Toji are doing something in the kitchen. Hitting you with the “Can I ask you two something?” Then you and Toji give Megumi your undivided attention to let him know you’re listening and paying attention. These happen with Tsumiki too but she’s already an open book and isn’t as reserved as Megumi. You both give your commentary and advice when asked, sometimes you let Megumi rant or let out his bottled up feelings. Surprisingly, unsurprisingly, Toji gives out insightful advice that Megumi takes into account every time his dad speaks. This is also how you become closer to your son and daughter, even your own husband.

They are allowed to swear in the house but Toji’s rule is “You can swear but it can’t be towards someone.” But the kids didn’t swear until they were in junior high.

The house doesn’t have much talking but it’s not the uncomfortable kind. It’s the kind where everyone is enjoying each other’s presence with no need for talking. It’s functional in your household, so it works with your family.

Don’t remind Toji that Megumi and Tsumiki will eventually move out and have their own lives because Toji will get all soft and emotional about it.

Toji and you are living the dream life. A nice house and property. A loving family with two wonderful children to ever bless you and your husband. And a healthy life where your family is close. Toji never thought he could’ve had this life but he now he does. This is the greatest middle finger and ‘fuck you’ to the Zen'in clan.

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vansmaybeonthewall · 10 months

Text

reputation // i did something bad

chapter summary: The one where your plan comes to life after a series of events that fueled the fire.

Eventual Jamie Tartt x Reader

the support you have shown for this is truly amazing. ily all, i hope you enjoy! i almost accidentally deleted it all before posting

word count: 4.3k

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The spotlight was on you, a familiar yet unwanted feeling. News headlines questioned your ability to hold a crowd that big and there was not one positive thing to combat them. Even the almighty Rupert and his sidekick Derek forgot how small you were compared to other artists. It was almost as if they wanted you to fail despite wanting to take a win from Rebecca Welton. It also was a surprise to see the size of the stage and the number of light fixtures fixed to it. Even dancers who seemed to be warming up? You made your way to the stage from the tunnel, crew milling about preparing the finishing touches. Derek spotted you in your confused state and jogged over to you.

“Amazing isn’t it? Jasmine had the bright idea to have a full stage with room for choreography. She even got some designers to agree to make these long flowy dresses to match your “vibe”.”

“My vibe?”

“Yeah, you know, the way your songs sound and the meanings, all that. She’s gotten a choreographer already planning out your movements. She has a hairstylist and a makeup artist waiting for you already to practice the look they have picked out. Oh this is so exciting! Come on!”

“Wait, Derek!”

But he has already rushed off, jogging back across the field. There was no choice but to follow him which somehow led you to be sitting in a makeup chair with two strangers attacking your hair and face. It was awkward and the silence was excruciatingly painful. Both stylists had made it quite clear they weren’t amused or happy to be working with you. You were left alone in your makeshift wardrobe area looking at an unrecognizable figure in the mirror. Your hair didn’t suit your face and the makeup distorted what you knew to be yourself. The dress, the most beautiful shade of purple, wasn’t what you had planned for the event. In fact, none of this was what you had planned. You would have been content with a small stage and your guitar. It didn’t need to be this difficult.

This wasn’t you. Not in this moment of time. While you reveled in the beauty of your songs and the meanings you so delicately handcrafted, this wasn’t how they were supposed to be showcased. Of course, the opportunity to perform in front of hundreds of people was a dream, but it was to good to be true. A small percentage, if any, would know the lyrics to your songs. It didn’t seem-

“Knock knock!”

Jasmine pokes her head through the doorway, a radiant smile on her face.

“Oh, you look absolutely gorgeous! Are you ready for it?”

“For what exactly?”

“To go over the setlist! I know they were still making changes, but they should be done by now. We need a rehearsal today and to schedule a few more before the match in a few days, which may have to be every day for a couple of hours at the rate we’re going.”

“The setlist is already being done? Don’t I get a say in it?”

Jasmine frowns slightly, her demeanor shifting.

“Derek thought it would be best to pick certain songs and leave out others. He thought you might pick some not fit for the purpose of the show.”

Right. The show wasn’t completely for you, it only involved you in some plan on getting sweet revenge on Rebecca Welton on Rupert’s behalf.

“He said that?”

“Well, yes and no. Think of it like this.”

She places her hands on your arms in an attempt to comfort you.

“You have someone looking out for you making sure you don’t make any more mistakes. It’s sweet. Now let’s get going. I’ll give you five more minutes to yourself.”

Jasmine leaves the room shutting the door behind her. Her words left you dumbfounded. First, you had no say in the songs you’d sing and second, she said Derek was there to help you make no more mistakes. You had no idea if she was being genuine or if she was deliberately trying to hurt you. You shook the thoughts from your head, heading out towards the field.

As you walked across the field, you spotted instruments being set up on stage. It gave some sort of relief that you would play your own, but that was soon taken away. Derek was giving people papers and orders of where to go. The instrumentals of your songs soon flooded your ears. Carefully, you climbed up onto the stage and approached Derek. He spun around at the sound of approaching footsteps.

“You made it! You look exactly how we pictured you should, this is perfect! You have to meet the band and-”

“The band?”

Derek gives you a strange look.

“The band that’s going to be playing for you. Did you think you would be playing yourself?”

“I always have, you know that.”

“Yes, but we wanted to make you seem like a bigger artist than you are. We need to let Richmond know we are better than them in every possible way. Rupert is going to come by for a rehearsal and speaking of which, you need the setlist.”

You started to ask a question be he quickly shot you down.

“(Y/N), you don’t really have a say in the songs. What you have in mind doesn’t fit.”

“How do you know what I have in mind, Derek?”

“Come on, we’ve been dating for two years, you think I don’t know you?”

At the call of his name, Derek excused himself from the conversation leaving you in the center of the stage. It was like a stab to the heart. None of this performance was about you, it was everybody else’s. And yet you still followed whatever you were told to do.

Two days before the match

“August slipped away into a moment of time

‘Cause it was never mine”

“Cut! Cut, cut, cut!”

Mid-song you were cut off, yet again. It was a cycle repeated every few minutes.

“The choreography isn’t right, weren’t you told to do what you normally do when you perform this song?”

“And I have told you time after time, I play my guitar every time I sing this song. But you’re not listening to me.”

“Darling, I was hired as creative director of this halftime performance, you do as I say or I blacklist you from future performances. Which doesn’t seem possible at the moment with your attitude.”

You seeth in silent anger. You push through the entire rehearsal, eager to leave the stadium. And when you finally get back to wardrobe to change back, the day somehow gets worse. You exit the building and make your way to the parking lot to wait for Derek. The constant dinging of your phone in your bag breaks you out of your trance. You dig through your bag and find Twitter to be the culprit of the noise. And boy was it a shock.

Multiple news accounts tweeted articles and comments about your appearance at the West Ham v. Richmond game. But what caught your eye was the A.F.C. Richmond account tagging your username. You click on the tweet to find a clip of a recent press conference with the tweet reading “Real men support their besties”.

You press play and find yourself listening to Colin answering questions.

“And what do you think of (Y/N) (L/N)’s upcoming performance as a halftime entertainer?”

“(Y/N) is a talented artist. She has come so far and I’m happy to see her fulfilling one of her goals.”

“Even if a larger audience doesn’t approve of her choices in her music career?”

You see Colin straighten up.

“For as long as I’ve had the pleasure of knowing (Y/N), she does everything for a reason. Even if it may seem “outlandish” or “stupid” to critics like you, she puts her whole heart into it for the one person who will love and cherish her work to the very end. I look forward to our match against West Ham, not just for a win, but to see my best friend do the one thing she has dreamed of doing since she was a kid.”

A bittersweet smile made its way to your face. You and Colin hadn’t spoken for a while, with his matches and you following Derek as he requested. Maybe you should send him a message? Colin, however, beats you to it. You don’t have a chance to read it as a hand snatches your phone out of your grip. Derek comes into view and holds the phone up to his ear.

“Hello hello, is (Y/N) here? She didn’t hear me calling her name.”

“Jesus Derek, what the fuck.”

“You weren’t listening, I had to do something.”

He pulls the phone from his ear and moves to hand it back to you, but he catches a glimpse of the screen.

“Why is he texting you? I thought I said you couldn’t.”

You try to take your phone back from his grasp but Derek holds it higher in the air.

“He’s my best friend, I can’t just ignore him.”

“And I’m your boyfriend, I think I know what’s best for you.”

“Derek, please-”

He grabs your wrist tightly and sharply pulls it back down. You visibly wince at the sudden pain.

“I’m your boyfriend, you don’t need anyone else protecting you or saying thighs to defend you, I do that. That’s my job, alright?”

You don’t answer. At your silence, Derek jerks your arm.

“Alright?

You quickly nod. Derek lets go of your arm. Seeing tears about to fall from your eyes, he hugs you tightly. He places your phone into your back pocket before letting go of you. He kisses your cheek.

“I only do what’s best for you, you know that. Now I have to go meet with Rupert and Jasmine to discuss final additions to the show. And maybe when I get home, we can celebrate”

Derek looks at you with a smirk on his face before walking away, leaving you frozen by yourself without a ride home. You carefully rub your wrist, already feeling the ugly marks that would soon stain your skin. In fear of speaking to anyone and of meeting Derek at home, you start the long trek back, taking the long way home.

One day before the match

You had been silent for the last rehearsal. To get through the day faster, you chose not to voice any differences or concerns you had about your performance. You didn’t even have the courage to respond to Colin’s text much less open it. You were heading down the long hallway from your wardrobe room when you caught giggles and whispers of a heated conversation. But what really caught your attention was the mention of your name. You stop at the corner and lean against the wall. You take a peak to find Derek pinning Jasmine against the wall, face pressed into her neck. Her giggles turn into soft moans as Derek’s hands slide down her body. You place your back against the wall and slide down, hitting the floor with a small thump.

You knew they were sneaking around. You saw the little glances and the comments they made towards the other. Even the time they kissed as an elevator closed, hiding the affair within. But never would you have imagined them being this bold. It was an ugly feeling, a nausous bugs crawling on your skin type of feeling. How could you have let this go on for so long? How could you have been with him for so long? How could you tolerate it? It was then in that moment that you made the decision to make this show about you. Not revenge on Ms. Welton, not to make West Ham look good, and definitely not to make Derek look good. It was going to end, all of it.

You stood up from your spot and marched back to your dressing room. You snatched your phone from the vanity and found Colin’s contact. The message you never read glared at you.

Don’t let anything they say get to you, they don’t know you. You know you. Don’t let anyone make you forget that.

You press the call button. The call is picked up after the first ring.

“Do you want to help me do something stupid?”

Day of the match

You looked at yourself in the mirror. The purple dress hid any indication of another outfit underneath. The bold choice of a red lip and your cat-eye eyeliner made you feel like…yourself. It was what you felt in the moment and having the decision to do it was truly an amazing thing. Getting to the stage was no big deal, you and Colin had created a foolproof plan of getting you there, which involved you being wheeled in a “cleaning cart” to underneath the stage where you would rise up as planned.

There was a knock on the door.

“Hey babes, they’re ready for you if you are.”

You turn to the small TV in the corner of the room playing the match. There was only a few minutes until halftime. You open the door to see Keeley Jones.

“Let’s hope they’re ready for it.”

Being underneath the stage was surreal. Even if it was meant to be put up and torn apart within a short period of time, it was so elaborate. Workers milled about and the surprisingly loud chanting of your name filled the space. You quickly took off the dress revealing your outfit underneath. Pulling on the knee length boots, you grabbed a plain black microphone out of a box. Some of the dancers looked at you in confusion and anger, still dressed in flowy dresses. Those that agreed to your change in plans were dressed in black with microphones in hand. You took your place in the center of the lowered stage piece. The lights dimmed.

“And now, for your entertainment, the artist behind the delicate Folklore and Evermore, (Y/N) (L/N)!”

At the mention of your name, a glitch sound was heard. All fell silent before-

“Baby let the games begin”

The band takes off playing your song as you rise up, head lowered. As you are lifted onto the stage, the lights go red.

“Are you ready for it?”

Lights flash on you. Your black bodysuit sparkles in the spotlight. The crowd goes wild for you despite knowing none of the lyrics or meaning of all this. Your dancers and back up singers join you on stage, bringing the choreography you learned in secret to life. And when the moment came for the high note, you basked in the audience’s shouting of the lyrics as they learned the longer the song went on. The song came to an end, but this was only the beginning. At center stage, you unzipped the hoodie piece of your suit before continuing the set. Your look dramatically into the crowd, hoping your lyrics and fake laugh reached Derek’s pathetic little heart.

“If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing”

You hear cheers and screams coming from the girls and women in the crowd. You smirk, making sure this performance was as powerful for them as much as it was for you. The moment you get lifted into the air by your dancers felt like what it meant to be a phoenix rising from the ashes. If it was at all possible, the crowd seemed to be even louder as you finished, smiling and laughing at their reaction. The lights went out, allowing you to see the benches both teams sat at. You could see Derek arguing with Rupert, and Jasmine trying to mediate the two. It was far from over. The sounds of your next song started playing, and this one? The audience knew.

“Cause baby we got bad blood”

The singing grew louder as the stadium filled with screeches and yelling. The sound of a banjo mixing with pop music sent them into an absolute frenzy. You were bringing back your old songs, songs that haven’t been heard in years.

“Should’ve said no”

You fell off the stage, your dancers catching you.

“Should’ve gone home”

You start running to the Richmond bench where you meet Colin with the handshake you made up when you were kids. As you start singing again, you start dancing wildly together. Cameramen follow your movements to display on the screens. While the coaches and other players seemed confused at the start, they hop in on the fun. You stay for a moment before walking towards the West Ham bench. Colin runs off grabbing a box.

“Shouldn’t be asking myself why”

You close in on Derek, pushing yourself into his face as he tries to back up.

“You should’ve said no, baby and you might still have me”

You lean back dropping the microphone onto the floor near his feet. Colin appears next to you with a microphone sparkling with red glitter. You make your way back to the stage, but never back on it. You finish your performance on the grass. And as soon as it ends, Colin comes running, picking you up and spinning around in circles. The crowd chants your name. Colin sets you down. You bring the mic back to your face.

“It has been an absolute pleasure to perform for you today London Stadium, but I do have some unfortunate news for you.”

You paused. All eyes were on you. Derek, although hiding from embarrassment, was staring at you with worry. Not for you, but for himself.

“I resign from my position on the West Ham United team as an entertainer and as an assistant. I will no longer be affiliated or used as a figure to represent this club, but rather another.”

Colin tilts his head in confusion. That last part wasn’t part of the plan. You look at Derek and Rupert as you speak your last sentence.

“From now on, I will be working closely with A.F.C Richmond through their season not only to support their endeavours, but to finish my upcoming album reputation!”

With that, you turn and run towards the tunnel, waving at fans until you’re hidden away. You continue running until you find the locker room Richmond occupied for the match. You shut the door and lean against it for a second. You place the mic down on a bench before running your hands through your hair in disbelief. Being alone was shortlived as Colin burst through the door. He hugs you tightly, but keeps a hold of you when he pulls away.

“When you said stupid, I didn’t think you meant this stupid.”

“Me neither, it just came out.”

The two of you embrace each other once again. An idea comes to mind. You let go of Colin.

“You have an extra jersey in your bag right?”

“Always.”

“Want to make it even worse?”

The rest of the team along with the coaches file into the locker room. At the sight of Colin and you, they quiet down. Coach Lasso, the bright soul, comes forward.

“Well I must say, that was a mighty brave thing you did out there Ms. (L/N). Wonderful performance too, you’ve come a long way from country.”

You were in shock.

“You knew me from when I did country?”

“Of course I do! Everybody should, I was happy to hear that banjo and slight country twang in your voice. Reminded me of home”

You smiled sweetly at him. You were about to respond, but the sound of heels interrupted. Everybody turned their heads to the locker room entrance to find Keeley and Rebecca Welton.

“Let’s wrap it up boys, we’ll do a talk and walk while we wait.”

Colin squeezes your shoulder before following his team. When they all vacated the room, Keeley came bounding to you.

“That was fantastic babe! Absolutely spectacular.”

“It couldn’t have been done without you, Ms. Jones.”

She responded to your tease with a light punch to your arm.

“(Y/N), this is Rebecca, Rebecca (Y/N).”

It was then you realized what you said on the field. You bring your hands up to cover your mouth.

“Ms.Welton! I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to blab, I just needed-”

Rebecca holds up a hand.

“There’s no need to apologize, I understand.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do, half the things I’ve done were done to try and hurt someone else. In fact, I must say I’m proud you had to courage to do that in front of so many people. Which brings me to this.”

You look between her and Keeley, who was trying to hide the biggest smile on her face.

“If you wish to make what you said out there real, we’d be happy to have you.”

Keeley starts bouncing on her feet. Your mouth opens in shock.

“You’d want me?”

“You have quite the talent, and I’d hate to see you lose it because of…certain people.”

“Ms. Welton-”

“Rebecca.”

“Thank you Rebecca, I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t. Save it for when you finish writing.”

Rebecca smiles at you before extending her hand out to you. However, you take the opportunity to hug her, taking her by surprise. She returns the gesture. Keeley claps her hands together.

“Now why don’t we watch our boys beat the absolute shit out of your exes.”

You return to the field with Colin’s backup jersey over your bodysuit. Rebecca and Keeley headed to their seats, but you took the opportunity to cheer for your best friend in a place Derek would hear. As fans spotted you walking toward the Richmond bench, they cheered.

“I spy with my little eye, a country gal making her way to the rodeo.”

You smile at Coach Lasso’s commentary. To appease him, you speak with a slight country twang.

“It ain’t a rodeo without a cowboy Coach Lasso.”

“Please, call me Ted.”

You shake hands as well as the other coaches before turning to the field where the play has resumed. You see Colin attempting to run from his attackers before he is tripped. Whistles blow, and some boos can be heard from the Richmond fans. Colin gets up slowly. You see the trio of coaches make the decision to pull him out. As Colin sits down on the bench. You crouch as Colin rubs his ankle.

“What happened?”

“Got me on purpose and made it look like a wee little accident.”

“I’m sorry-”

“It’s not your fault (Y/N).”

“But if I hadn’t done-”

“If you hadn’t done what you did, you wouldn’t be here wearing my jersey with knee-high boots.”

You smile at each other.

“Come on, let’s watch them avenge me.”

The game could have gone better as it ended with a tie. But boy did it feel good to cheer and yell with Colin. Despite his slightly injured ankle, Colin picked you up and carried you to the huddle to celebrate their draw. They file into the locker room and gather their belongings. As you all file out of the locker room, you just remember that your stuff sits in the home-side part of the stadium.

“Shit.”

“What’s happened?”

You look at Colin with a troubled look on your face.

“My stuff. It’s in the dressing room My phone, my bag, my clothes.”

You won’t have to worry about any of that anymore as Derek storms down the hall with your bag in hand. He shouts your name and throws your belongings at you. The bag slides across the floor. You take a step back as he gets closer.

“I always knew you were stupid, but the shit you pulled today? You put the icing on the fuckin cake.”

Derek stands in front of you, breathing heavily. Another pair of footsteps comes quickly, Jasmine’s figure appearing.

“Derek!”

“Maybe you should listen to her, Derek. She always has such great things to say.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I know about your sneaking around and the marks on your goddamn necks! Did you really think I wouldn’t know? I thought you would have some sort of decency to try and hide it, but you made it known to everybody but me! You’re mad I embarrassed you in front of people who “love” and “support” you? Good! Maybe people will see who you really are. A liar, a cheat, and a terrible coach.”

Derek raised his hand, but before it made contact with your face, a hand caught him by the wrist. You turned to see not Colin? A hand pulled you backward as the person stepped in front of you. A jersey with the number nine blocked Derek from your view.

“Wouldn’t want to cause a fuss would you mate? Not with the cameras.”

You hear Colin whispering in your ear as he pulls you to walk with him. You stare at the player wearing the number nine and Derek in a standoff. You want to see how the moment plays out but the next thing you know, you’re sitting on a bus with the rest of the Richmond team. All you can do is stare into blank space as before a hand invades your vision. You see number nine with your bag in your hand.

“I think this belongs to you, darling.”

You take the bag from his grasp, thanking him. He smiles at you before walking towards the front of the bus for a seat. You could finally relax. The bus takes off back to Nelson Road, the drive calming you down. A constant buzzing from your bag pulled you from your trance. Your phone. You dig through your bag to find Twitter once again popping off. Except this time, it was photos of you being carried by Colin with the team. There were pictures and clips of you performing. Fans tweeted how much they loved you while others would make a great episode of Thirst Tweets. You shut the phone off and leaned your head back on the seat.

Maybe some would think you did something bad, but god did it feel so good.

-------------------------------------------

taglist: @luna025 @faith-alons26 @yokolesbianism

want to be tagged? let me know!

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt oneshot #ted lasso #ted lasso fic #ted lasso imagine #afc richmond #taylor swift #taylor swift reputation

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altraviolet · 6 months

Text

Deleted scene, Ch 39

I'm reading JRO's behind the scenes MTMTE notebook (Vol 3) and it inspired me to grab a deleted scene for The Echo Garden xD

I've picked one at random. This is a deleted scene featuring Rodimus and Ultra Magnus. In chapter 39 "The After Burner," we have this excerpt, which I'll put behind a cut in case this post gets long. I'm including it so you know what the heck the deleted scene is talking about:

Ch 39 excerpt:

Ultra Magnus was spraying The After Burner with a coat of white paint as per Rodimus's orders. It did little to cover the ocular-searing neon greens and yellows Magnus had painted it to “discourage extracurricular canoodling.” Something about The After Burner's lithe build made it a gathering point for “adventurous crew members.” Rodimus found the neon paint scheme a million times more offensive than semi-public canoodling and had demanded it be painted over before the voyage to 2938. Like any vehicle prioritizing speed, The After Burner was light on armor and defensive capabilities. It was meant for sprinting small crews or low weight cargo between two points. It worked marvelously for Enceladia purposes. With a single laser and a shield about as powerful as Toaster's tiniest coil, it wasn't Rodimus's first choice. But it was the only shuttle that fell below Perceptor's recommended threshold for mass.

The following is the deleted scene that was summed up in the above. A good lesson demonstrating that not everything needs to be written out in scene. Everything said in the below scene was summed up in the fic. I couldn't find a good place to slot this scene. Giving the reader the info in summary was a better choice to keep the chapter moving.

Deleted scene:

“There are two shuttles with weights below Perceptor's recommended threshold,” said Ultra Magnus. Rodimus scrolled up and down the data pad he'd been handed, squinting. “The Scavenger is fast but very lightly armored,” said Ultra Magnus. “As a side note, it has been painted uniform stripes of contrasting bright greens.” Rodimus tilted the data pad away from his face. The real thing hovered behind Ultra Magnus, clashing with itself and everything around it. “Ow, my oculars.” Ugh, Shuttle Bay 2. “Who did that?” “I did, sir.” “Why?” “To keep away the canoodling types, captain. The more adventurous crew members designated The Scavenger a 'hot spot,' if you know what I mean.” Ultra Magnus leaned down conspiratorially. “I hope you know what I mean.” “Eugh.” “It worked,” said Ultra Magnus proudly. “Extracurricular canoodling decreased by 37% in the-” “That's fine! I'm good. I don't need canoodle percentages,” said Rodimus. “Tell me about the other shuttle.” “The After Blaster has much better shielding but isn't as fast.” “Classic conundrum: speed vs armor,” said Rodimus. He shoved the data pad back at Ultra Magnus. “You know I have a need for speed.” “The Scavenger it is, captain.” “Throw a coat of paint over that thing. The quick dry stuff you use on the graffiti. You can make it pretty after we get back.” “Yes, sir.” Ultra Magnus perked up. “I can try out my new nozzle extension! Optimized for peak dispersal of paint types 1a through 3b.” “Great,” said Rodimus.

Little notes:

"The After Blaster" got changed to "The After Burner" for the fic. These are both aft jokes, by the way. The shuttle name started as "The Aft Blaster." I changed it to "After" to be less crude and to sneakily hide the joke. Then changed "blaster" to "burner" for slightly less crudeness, lol.

The reason Rodimus thinks "ugh, Shuttle Bay 2" is because the Rod Pod is kept in Shuttle Bay 1. Bay 2 is the lesser of the bays in his eyes lol.

"The Scavenger" is a shuttle named in honor of the Scavengers, after they suffered their terrible fate. It hasn't come up in the fic, though

"canoodling" is a joke from the canon comic

I had Rodimus hate the neon green paint job because I myself am not a fan of neon green

The thing where a character is looking at a book/data pad/whatever displaying an object, then moves it aside and the object is there in front of them in real life, is hilarious to me. I assume that's a trope?? With a name? I love that trope.

Hope you enjoyed this lil deleted scene :)

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undertale-ost-tournament · 4 months

Text

Stat post time.

The poll with the most votes was Group P (the Death By Glamour one) with 794 votes, followed by Group W (735, Metal Crusher) and Group T (Spear of Justice vs Bergentrückung, 601).

With the least votes is Group C (275), beaten out by Group N (282) and Group L (318).

The average turnout in a poll was about 438 votes.

None of the Uwa! tracks qualified, with none of them getting over 10% of their group's vote. Temperate was the most popular.

Oh! One True Love and Oh! Dungeon were also both eliminated, though Dungeon scored much higher than One True Love.

Death Report qualified, with almost 4x the proportion of votes than Live Report.

In a great injustice, Can You Really Call This A Hotel, I Didn't Receive A Mint On My Pillow Or Anything was eliminated, but Hotel was not.

Spooktune was the only one of Napstablook's house songs that qualified.

The most dominating performance was by Death By Glamour, which was over 615 votes over any other track in its group (77.5%).

The closest race (other than the two ties) was between Reunited and Snowdin Town, by 0.6% (2 votes). However, both qualified.

The closest race that actually resulted in one track qualifying and one not was between the tie of Good Night and Oh My..., and Long Elevator, which was kicked out by 2.5% (9 votes).

Speaking of the ties, there were two within groups, and two in the Danger Zone across multiple groups.

The aforementioned Good Night and Oh My... both got 68 votes or 15.4%. In Group F, It's Raining Somewhere Else and SAVE The World both got 182 votes (32.2%), both winning their group.

Interestingly, two strange occurrences happened. Groups M and U both got 329 votes, and their third place tracks, Reunited and Hotel, both got 53 votes (16.1%). Similarly, Groups B and Q both got 352 votes, and their third place tracks Oh! One True Love and Respite both got 46 votes (13.1%).

The highest-placing tracks by percentage that did not qualify were Spookwave, which got 17.3% but came 4th in its group, and Oh! Dungeon, likewise with 16.2%.

The lowest-placing tracks by percentage which still qualified were For The Fans, which got 6.8% yet still came 2nd, and Menu (Full), the same with 11.8%.

Which brings us to the final results. Here is a post with all the tracks ordered by how many votes they got, and this is a post with them ordered by proportion of votes (also this has that same one, but split by position within the groups).

And below the cut is the seeding of the 64 qualified tracks, and the 36 tracks that didn't make the cut below them.

Seed:

Death By Glamour

Hopes and Dreams

ASGORE

Spider Dance

Finale

Heartache

Waterfall

CORE

Bonetrousle

Battle Against A True Hero

His Theme

Ghost Fight

Undertale

NGAHHH!!

Your Best Nightmare

Spear of Justice

Last Goodbye

Bergentrückung

Determination

Metal Crusher

Song That Might Play When You Fight Sans

Another Medium

Fallen Down (Reprise)

Nyeh Heh Heh!

Bird That Carries You Over A Disproportionately Small Gap

Ruins

Here We Are

sans.

It's Raining Somewhere Else

SAVE The World

Fallen Down

Spooktune

Dogsong

Alphys

Dummy!

CORE Approach

Memory

Home

An Ending

Dating Start!

Power of "NEO"

Stronger Monsters

It's Showtime

But The Earth Refused To Die

Small Shock

Once Upon A Time

Amalgam

Tem Shop

Your Best Friend

Death Report

Bring It In, Guys!

Temmie Village

Thundersnail

Shop

Snowy

Final Power

Snowdin Town

Reunited

Hotel

Home (Music Box)

Good Night

Oh My…

Menu (Full)

For The Fans

Eliminated, in order of proportion of votes:

Spookwave

Oh! Dungeon

Quiet Water

Undyne

Dating Tense!

She's Playing Piano

Don't Give Up

Oh! One True Love

Respite

Long Elevator

Premonition

Start Menu

Can You Really Call This A Hotel, I Didn't Receive A Mint On My Pillow Or Anything

Last Episode!

Uwa!! So Temperate♫

Mysterious Place

Uwa!! So HEATS!!♫

The Choice

Uwa!! So Holiday♫

Enemy Approaching

Chill

Dating Fight!

Ghouliday

You Idiot

Live Report

Ooo

Wrong Enemy !?

Confession

Run!

Barrier

Anticipation

Pathetic House

Danger Mystery

Dogbass

Burn In Despair!

Unnecessary Tension

#stats #undertale ost tournament #undertale music #undertale ost #undertale #group stage #toby fox

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eilinelsghost · 10 months

Note

Hi! This is very random but I was wondering what made you decide to structure Atandil as a series of interconnected one-shots instead of as a longfic? I really love the way you weave back and forth between timelines – was the non-linear narrative the main appeal for you? Or were you not keen on a chaptered longfic for another reason? Thank you ❤️❤️

Oh this is such a great question! So there is a short (and not very interesting answer) and a longer (hopefully more interesting one). I will give you both. :)

The short one:

I have never written fanfic at all until this series and have also never been involved in online fandom either until about a month or two before I posted Part 1. Consequently I know absolutely nothing about fic best practices or common structures, nothing about “fanon” at all, and I went into this not even realizing I needed to know how to tag things or that there were tropes writers used to categorize or describe general structures. Basically it’s just been me and my Elf obsession hanging out alone in my head for 20 years? Anyway, this story showed up one day (which is another funny story but I won’t get sidetracked on it in this post) and I basically just *needed* to get it out. Which is how we are here. To sum it up, I did a series because I didn’t know it would probably have made more sense as a chaptered long fic 🤦‍♀️ Ah well.

The longer one:

Yes, having it nonlinear was the primary appeal of breaking it up as a series. (In my know-nothing-about-fanfic-head, I assumed nonlinear meant series by default instead of chapters.)

Having it nonlinear was something I’ve always wanted to utilize in the structure because part of what it’s exploring is the whiplash of Elves interacting with mortals in this kind of timespan. It’s only about 150 years between Finrod discovering them and Finrod dying in Tol-in-Gaurhoth, which is a piddly little bit of time to a being with serial longevity for the duration of Arda.

And yes, I know there’s the passage where Tolkien talks about time passing for Elves at the same rate as for Men, but at the same time it would have to feel different, just by ratio. The older I get, the shorter every year seems - and I’m only 35. Finrod is in his 2,000’s at the time of the story so a hundred years is a proportionally small chunk that would feel quite fast, even if it’s technically passing at the same rate, because it’s such a small percentage of what he had lived already.

Hence the nonlinear structure. It gives the reader the same whiplash as Finrod is having, where all of this is happening in such a “short” span of time that it feels all crushed up on top of itself - almost as though it’s all happening at once. So you have Belen as an 18 year old running around in games and laughter one moment, and in the next he’s in his 90’s and on the brink of his own passing. It’s all at once. This aspect jumped out at me when I was reading the Athrabeth and Finrod’s like “well I was hanging out with Bëor a hot second ago” and Andreth replies with “…..buddy, he’s been dead for a…century?” Everything about this is utterly incomprehensible for Elves trying to get accustomed to mortal lifecycles in this mind-bogglingly short amount of time.

Presenting it as solo chunks also lets them function as a kind of kaleidoscope of memories, pieced together by a kind of natural association (which is why I’ve also tried to have deliberate contextual or thematic tie-ins for each, like a mind’s free association might follow). This may not fully find its landing until the epilogue, but the function of memory and *how* things are remembered is also key in this. “The life and love of the Eldar dwells much in memory,” “In memory lies our great talent”Etc.

Thanks so much for this ask! It was so fun to get to talk about this. :)

#asks and answers #my fic #fic structure #elven memory #finrod #bëor #silmarillion #writing #atandil

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iwonderwh0 · 11 months

Text

Oh, I've got an idea, what this (behaviour that would convince Gavin that androids are self-aware and not just copying humans) could be.

If Gavin could accidentally make an android hate him as much as he hates them. To the point where this android would act hostile towards Gavin in a way that no human could.

Like messing with him by making their phone/computer completely unusable by for example sending them 1000 messages per minute just so the screen would be locked with countless notifications. And you know, mabe those messages aren't even just random symbols but actual sentences that are just a long fucking list of reasons why he (Gavin) sucks, maybe even with some facts about his online persona that could be found online or maybe was hacked specifically – he couldn't tell which one it is. Basically Gavin getting cyberbullied by an android would work wonders on his perception of "it's just copying human"

Then, getting mocked in his own voice in a exaggerated manner – will make him self-consciously wonder if his voice really sounds like this or is it somehow adjusted to be worse.

Later he'd try to watch some video, but all the voices are replaced with his own exaggerated one. Shit will drive him crazy.

"Don't you have better things to do with those fancy processors of yours?"

"Oh, thank you for your concern! I assure you it's only taking a small percentage of my computing power and it's my pleasure if it's enough to make you this worked up about it. It's cute to see you getting pink in face. Adorable."

Then this android predicting some of the things Gavin was about to say before he manages to finish his sentence on his own and saying it before (at the same time) with him, just to demonstrate how predictable he is "Who is following their programming here? At least my program is not as predictable as yours"

Or in front of mirror

"Oh, you recognise yourself in the mirror! That means you're at least smarter than a pig, not bad!"

To the point when this android is asking Gavin to prove him that he is as conscious as he claims.

Just making fun of his animalism spilling facts about human psychology and physiology, including some based entirely on his own observations of Gavin.

Basically just feed him his own medicine with inhumanly precise statistical touch of an android.

Of course there are probably other ways that are not this malicious, in this post I just wanted to explore how Gavin could get cyberbullied, lol

#dbh #dbh gavin reed #dbh gavin #I'll mark in as reed900 because why not #reed900 #those two bullying each other is part of the fanon anyways

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moonshinemagpie · 10 months

Text

I have no business offering book promotion tips to anyone, but here they are anyway:

Whether you're asking for ARC readers or trying to sell your published book, always include at least a one-paragraph excerpt from the story. Readers can tell pretty much in 1-2 sentences whether they vibe with a book's prose style, and that's going to be what matters in the end—more than a gorgeous cover, an intriguing summary, or enticing tropes.

I see so many posts that talk about "my book" without mentioning its title, genre, or summary. Don't! Assume! Your posts are only read by your followers! Your posts get reblogged and suddenly they're out in the wild, and they could be introducing new readers to your work, but they're not, because you assumed you were talking about your book to an audience of 3 people already in the know. You're on the world wide web! Always assume there's a potential new reader to introduce your story to.

You've got your book title and excerpt in your post—great! Now include a link. Make it easy for people to access your work. Will a small percentage of very dedicated readers go through the trouble of tracking down your book? Yep. But a much larger percentage will not, but would still click on a link if it's conveniently easy to locate. Make it easy to learn about and read and buy your work!

#writeblr #am writing #publishing #self publishing #this stuff may seem completely obvious but i see writers not doing this multiple times every single day across all different platforms

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peetapiepita · 10 months

Text

Thoughts on what general audiences can do for the WGA and SAG strikes

I've read up a lot on the strike situation these past weeks because I'm someone who consumes A LOT OF media content. The strike will affect my daily life and I'm a curious girlie when it comes to show biz rules. So here are some of the takeaways I wanna share with my fellow audience:

1. Understand the strike

The strike is happening for 2 major reasons:

1.) The studios are refusing to pay the creators/actors residuals on streaming services.

This makes it hard for the majority of writers and actors to make a living by doing their respective jobs. They used to rely on residuals from old projects (DVD and blue-ray sales, renting, etc.) to pay bills. That's just not happening today.

To try to get out of paying residuals, the major studios started this trend this year to take old and new shows/movies off their streaming platforms and use them as an excuse for a tax write-off. Disney did this last month and got a 1.1 billion tax write-off. They can currently do that without consulting the people involved AT ALL, taking away their livelihood without warning.

2.) The studios want to retain the rights to use AI writing and performing.

In the negotiation with SAG, they proposed a plan to pay actors only one day's wage to use their AI image FOREVER without paying them ever again. And the actors wouldn't have a ground to argue that. This is straight out of Black Mirror Season 6 Joan is Awful. Netflix is really writing its own villain origin story right now.

So what would happen if the workers budge and give up mid-way?

They'll end up losing their means to survive and have their images stolen. So striking for a few months is definitely better than starving indefinitely.

What's happening right now?

Right now, no projects fiananced by AMTPT companies can film with SAG members or develop with WGA members, which means only a very small percentage of all Hollywood productions can still happen. (More to come about this.)

With finished projects, if they're being released in the next few months, they're going to be released without any promo from the actors. They can't take part in interviews, premieres, fan events, or even post about their projects on social media.

2. Help with the strike.

Now that the double strike has officially happened, what's the best outcome for the workers and the audiences?

If you're just a casual entertainment enjoyer:

Cancel the streaming services not essential to you. The studios are going to panic more when they start losing even more money.

If you're a fan of a fanchise/upcoming blockbuster:

Flood the companies behind it, demanding them negotiate with the SAG and WGA on their own and agree to a fair deal. Threat not to support the projects unless it's settled fairly.

These studios with upcoming big-budget movies are bleeding money and panicking right now, any added pressure is good.

If one company buckles, the others would follow suit.

If you have money to spare: (Congrats on being rich, btw!)

Donate to the unions and support the ones with lower income in the first place, they'd be struggling with bills if the strike goes on for too long.

For everyone:

Call out big studios who are still planning on filming projects during the strike.

Please note there are exceptions to the strike rule:

1.) Foreign productions.

Please note an actor has to be part of the foreign union to work on these. Some of the foreign unions are still in meetings to decide if they'll allow US companies to work with their members, the most notable ones being the UK one and the Canadian one. Fingers crossed they don't fall for the deals the US studios are offering.

2.) Indie productions.

Indie companies can make their own deals with the workers since they're not included in the overall deal. So a very small amount of US projects can still happen. Make sure a project doesn't fall into this category before calling them out for scabbing.

That's about it for now. I might add more later in the replies if I think of anything.

#sag strike #sag strong #sag solidarity #wga strike #wga strong #wga solidarity #support wga #support workers

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gatheringbones · 2 years

Text

[“Gradually I began to understand that all forms of sex were an exchange of power, whether it was conscious or unconscious. My focus had been on the pleasure in sex, not the power. The basic principle of S/M was that all sexual activity between one or more adults had to be consensual and required a verbal negotiation, followed by an agreement between the players. All my years of romantic sex, when we tried to read each other’s minds, were basically nonconsensual sex. Romantic love is one of the most damaging concepts on the planet for women—little girls raised on Disney’s Sleeping Beauty are taught to wait for a prince to awaken them.

By the time I was in my midthirties and sport fucking, I learned to take control and be a top as a means of getting what I wanted. But none of these sexual activities were ever discussed or agreed upon openly. As I looked at sexuality in terms of this power dynamic, it felt like I was waking from a deep sleep.

That spring, Dorothy, the founding mother of our group, invited me to join her at a conference organized by Women Against Pornography (WAP). Her commitment to feminism was contagious and she was aware of all the current happenings in the movement. By then I had dropped out of feminism so I was learning a lot from Dorothy, a thirty-year-old radical lesbian who had been trashed by other feminists because of her S/M sexual preferences. As a post-menopausal hedonist in my fifties, I looked forward to my first public feminist forum dressed as a leather dyke.

The two of us trooped into the WAP conference arm in arm, wearing boots and jeans with large silver studded belts under our black leather jackets—high-visibility leather dykes sitting in the front row just to the left of the podium. The women glared at us, signaling that we were out of place, while we wore our political incorrectness like a badge of honor.

At the time, I had difficulty taking this group seriously. After feminists had fought against censoring information about birth control, abortion, sexuality, and lesbianism, the idea that there was now a group that wanted to censor pornography seemed absurd. Surely WAP was only a small percentage of feminists, but Dorothy said they were gaining strength and growing in numbers. Ms. magazine had contributed money to WAP, and under pressure from members, NOW (National Organization for Women) had approved a resolution that condemned pornography without defining it. Several local NOW chapters actively supported WAP. Censorship was coiled like a rattlesnake ready to strike at our freedom and poison people’s enjoyment of masturbating while looking at pictures of sex. Unbelievable!

The large meeting room at NYU was packed with women only—nearly a thousand had assembled. A red cloth banner with big black letters stretched across the back of the stage: WOMEN AGAINST PORNOGRAPHY. That had to cost a pretty penny. There was also a first-rate sound system, along with expensive printed flyers—all done very professionally. This was no makeshift feminist conference where we had mimeographed handouts. Dorothy leaned in close and asked, “When have you ever seen a conference dealing with women’s issues that had this kind of money behind it?” We both agreed that WAP most likely had been secretly funded by the CIA, the Christian Right, or both.”]

betty dodson, from the porn wars, from the feminist porn book: the politics of producing pleasure, edited by tristan taormino, constance henley, and celine perreñas shimizu, 2013

#betty dodson #tristan taormino #currently reading

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awkwardgtace · 28 days

Note

For the ask game, 🔪, ❄️ and 🦴 :3

ask game

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

ohh ok this is hard. A dream theme would probably be a good mystery I can't start piecing together or a horror novel that scares me. For mystery I oddly enough think Brandon Sanderson would be good. I've been unable to predict things moving forward in the Stormlight Archives. But honestly I think it would be written best by someone who hasn't even tried before. There's a way of placing clues in a mystery I feel a lot of people follow. Most of the time those clues placed by someone new wouldn't have the same easy to tell hints and tips.

For horror I kind of am expecting Lydia Prime to do it. She's a newer author on the horror scene (actually have a book she just managed to publish I plan to pick up). I also some comedians would be good at it. Comedy is kind of the other side, takes a lot to do it. I don't know who would be best for this outside of like a pro author. I'm pretty hard to scare, make a habit of marathoning horror games and horror movies just because. That does mean I get psyched to read any horror sent my way that might be good!

For a dream plot it's kinda hard to say. I know how my brain works, but honestly even if i'm not super into it I just like seeing people posting/sharing the stuff they put their time into. It's so scary to take that first step so it's really amazing when someone does and they keep going.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

Ok so this one is kind of a lot. For some of my stories it's probably some myth, post, or my own daydream mixed from anime/games/books throughout the years.

Specific media would be MTG Streets of New Capenna set (Mafia AU), Fenyx Rising (Delphia rising), FF14 (some fanfics and an au i am working on), Oddly enough a story I have on and off struggled with was inspired by a yugioh series, Godzilla vs Kong (the fight for Rhys and Felix in mafia au). My gods might have been inspired by the old hercules disney movie.

Oh Delphia is a bit inspired by an Kagome in Inuyasha (got me looking into reincarnation). oh and a book series I read forever and ever ago. The Eternal Ones by Kirsten Miller. (I went to my bookshelf to find this title.)

I also do love mythology and folklore so I'm sure that's a big inspiration even if it's not obvious. (obsessed with fairies since I was like born. My sister can't even remember a time i wasn't).

Basically it's everything? I have a few characters I've realized over time fit a meme a little or i put together match someone i loved from a game.

Oh last one I can think of. Alice in Wonderland. I loved that from the disney movie, to the books, to the manga based in it, to the new tim burton movies. Pretty much the only time I haven't liked it was in RWBY 😅

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? I feel weird leaving this one out in the open, but like also it's not exactly nsfw. just a little insight into my weird thought process at times

ok so originally it was gonna be the general size of a dick/vagina of the average person to then do the ratio for how big it should be for a giant/how small for a tiny. In searching for this math (cause ofc i only shared it on discord) I realized i had an entire discussion that involved at least a little research where i determined it's incredibly viable that if giants and tinies are under the same homo species it would possible to successfully get pregnant in a multisize couple with the question being the survival rate of the child/birth parent dependent on a number of factors....

I used the dick knowledge in one (1) specific story i wrote on ao3. The pregnancy knowledge was lost until now.

Most likely to get me arrested was how much a person could move after a stab wound

for those curious this was the percentages i came up with are under the cut

balls: 2.7% of total height per ball dick: 6.9% of total height pussy opening: 4.8% of total height pussy depth: 6.3% of total height

#awkwardanswers #lore about mee!#my brain is all over the place sometimes lol

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coquelicoq · 10 months

Text

this post is brought to you by: la lettre c!

[previously: la lettre b]

i recently spent nearly a month reading the C section of this french dictionary. and by gum now you are going to hear about it!!

stats

percentage of dico taken up by C words: 10.6% (yeah you heard me. a tenth of this dictionary is just for the letter C. you've been warned)

percentage of dico read (as of the end of the C section): 23.5%

rate and duration: 3 pages/day for 27 days

total entries: 3449

rows added to my vocabulary spreadsheet: 708 😅

fun facts

more pages in this dico are devoted to words starting with C than with any other letter! which if you think about it makes sense. not only can a word-initial c be followed by any vowel, it can be followed by h, l, and r, plus the prefix con/com- is EXTREMELY generative…19 of the 81 pages are dedicated just to words that start with con or com (over a page of which are actually words that start with contre). i love that you get nearly 1/4 of the way through this dictionary before you even get to the 4th letter of the 26-letter alphabet.

as mentioned in the B post, there sure are a lot of slang words meaning "head" that start with c. you've got your caboche (hobnail). you've got your cafetière (coffeemaker). you've got your carafe (carafe) or your carafon (small carafe). you've got your chou (cabbage). you've got your ciboulot (diminutive of ciboule, which means head). you've got your citron (lemon). shockingly coco (coconut) is not slang for noggin to my knowledge…but it's not like there's a one-to-one mapping between "round things" and "things that are slang for noggin", or we wouldn't be in this situation with carafe, now would we?

speaking of noggins, there are also a lot of idioms meaning "to wrack one's brain" that were in the C section, either because the "wrack" word starts with a c or because the "brain" word does: se casser la tête (casser: break), se creuser le ciboulot/la cervelle/la tête/les méninges (creuser: dig).

page hogs

(entries taking up 1/6 of a page or more)

carte

chaîne

charger

chien

compte

conseil

corde

corps

côté

couleur

coup

coupe

couper

courir

cours

croire

culture

i knew coup would be big, and i wasn't surprised by corps or cours, but damn there are a lot more chien idioms than i was expecting!

🤯 momence

i looked up the etymology of un casanier/une casanière (homebody) expecting it to be pretty straightforward given the spanish casa meaning house, but it actually came from an italian word meaning "moneylender"??? which was then influenced by the word that means house, but still. not sure i buy the logical leap made in the CNRTL entry for casanier that the "homebody" sense "s'explique prob[ablement] par le fait que les prêteurs italiens installés en France semblaient tenus à résider en un lieu précis, évolution favorisée par l'infl[uence] de case* « maison », fréquent au XVIe s". yeah but were italian moneylenders unique in liking to stay in one spot? i kinda doubt it…

chevronné(e): experienced, seasoned, highly qualified. one of my favorite things about this project is how much i am learning about etymology just because words from the same root whose meanings have since diverged still often occur near each other in the dictionary. chevronné comes right after chevron, which is a pattern in the shape of a V (or upside-down V). on a military uniform, chevrons indicate an officer's rank. so someone who is chevronné is someone who wears a lot of chevrons because they have a high rank, which generally indicates a lot of experience.

and if you're wondering why chevron means an inverted V shape, another meaning of chevron is "rafter", as in, the beams in a roof that slope to either side…forming an inverted V shape. and why is that beam called a chevron? well, we're getting into speculation now*, but chevron comes a few entries after chèvre, goat. according to this dictionary, chèvre is also another word for chevalet, which means "sawhorse" and comes from the word cheval (horse). now, chèvre and cheval, though they look similar in french, come from completely different latin roots. but goats and horses are both four-legged animals, and a sawhorse is, of course, a support structure made of two upside-down Vs that look like the two pairs of legs of a four-legged animal. so i'm not sure of the exact chain of causality here, but it does seem plausible that the inverted V came to be called a chevron because of its resemblance to a pair of legs? of some animal or another??

*(the CNRTL etymology entry for chevron claims that it comes from a latin word that meant both goat and chevron, capreolus, but i haven't been able to confirm for myself that capreolus meant chevron so am not taking that as gospel.)

couché(e) en chien de fusil: lying curled up in a ball/in the fetal position. the fun thing about this one is that there's this passage in les mis where gavroche notices that the pistol he's stolen from a shop window "n'avait pas de chien." this confused the hell out of me when i read it. the pistol didn't have a dog? why the fuck would the pistol have a dog??? eventually i managed to wrap my head around the idea that chien might mean something other than "dog" in the context of a pistol, and once my mind was opened to that revolutionary possibility it didn't take long to discover that the hammer of a gun is called a chien. so when i got to this entry in the dictionary, i was like yeah, yeah, le chien de fusil, we've all seen it. the problem is i still don't really get how that translates to the fetal position. they just don't seem that similar to me? so this one is a work in progress.

être à la colle: live together, be shacked up. (colle means glue.) i also like vivre en concubinage, which means the same thing. you can imagine my surprise when i got to concubinage and finally learned it does not mean "the state of having concubines" as i had been assuming. i would see it in like news articles about modern french people and be like "that doesn't seem right, but i don't know enough about french culture to dispute it."

somewhat relatedly, i don't think i had ever come across et consorts ("and company") in the wild before reaching its entry in the dictionary, which is good because i'm sure i would have grossly misinterpreted it as well. on balance i think english getting so much vocab from french does make learning french vocab much easier than it would be otherwise, but there are times when it would really help to be bringing to the table fewer preconceived notions about the meaning of words lol.

let's talk about compris(e). so service (non) compris (service (not) included (in the price of something)) is one of the phrases i learned back when i was a kid who didn't know any french, because i was going to france and it was in some guidebook or other. then y compris (including) caught my eye very early on in my french education because i didn't know what the y was doing in there and i probably latched onto it because it looked like spanish. (the french word y has a completely different meaning than the spanish word y, but i didn't know that at the time because i hadn't learned about adverbial pronouns yet, and learning "y compris" didn't help me figure it out because it seemed to make total sense for a phrase which means "including" to contain a word meaning "and". but i digress.) and of course i learned the verb comprendre (understand) in year 1 of french. but it was not until now, TWENTY YEARS LATER, that i put together that the compris in service compris and y compris is...THE PAST PARTICIPLE OF COMPRENDRE! HELLO!!! like i knew that compris is the pp of comprendre, but i never connected it with those other expressions! and the english word comprehend also has both "understand" and "include" senses (think lizzy saying "you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman" in pride and prejudice), so all the pieces were there all along! truly i am surrounded by countless wonders just waiting to be discovered.

i am continuing to take note of verbs that no one ever told me take être as auxiliary. the first one since accourir is convenir de [qqch], but it seems to only take être in some circumstances and i'm not really clear on what they are…just in literature or when being formal? the jury is out. this one is less mindblowing than accourir because it does have venir right there in it, which doesn't mean that it obviously must take être, but i feel a little more primed to accept it. accourir was just a total shock. i'm still feeling the reverberations.

favorite words to pronounce

cessation [sesasjɔ̃]

champignonnière [ʃɑ̃piɲɔnjɛʀ]

cliquetis [klik(ə)ti]

clopin-clopant [klɔpɛ̃klɔpɑ̃]

cocotte [kɔkɔt]

coléoptère [kɔleɔptɛʀ]

compensation [kɔ̃pɑ̃sasjɔ̃]

consciencieusement [kɔ̃sjɑ̃sjøzəmɑ̃]

contentement [kɔ̃tɑ̃tmɑ̃]

coquelicot [kɔkliko]

cumulus [kymylys]

cyclique [siklik]

so the mouthfeel in the C section is simply exquisite. sometimes i just say "consciencieusement" out of nowhere because it soothes me. that said, possibly my least favorite word to pronounce in the entire french language (yes even more than procureur du roi) also starts with C: chirurgie. like damn. have mercy. also found myself struggling with condamner (apparently you don't pronounce the m and you don't nasalize the vowel before it. IS THIS EVEN FRENCH????), construire (dedicating my life to learning synonyms for every sense of this word so i never have to say it out loud), and coopérant (no, not the double o! please, i'll do anything!).

favorite words period

c'est le cadet de mes soucis: that's the least of my worries. cadet is also the word you would use to talk about a younger sibling, like ma sœur cadette, so that's the association i have with it. out of all my worries, this one is the baby. aww.

avoir le cafard: have the blues, feel depressed, be down in the dumps. un cafard is a cockroach btw. i'm gonna need my fellow anglophones to either learn this french expression or at the very least calque it into english because i use it all the time now. lads i got the roach today…yeah no i'm gonna have to reschedule, it's that damn roach…

c'est fort du café: that's a bit much, that's going too far, that's pushing it. the coffee is too damn strong! dial it back people!

the C section contains both cahin-caha (with difficulty) and clopin-clopant (with a limp, falteringly). i'm always a sucker for (quasi-)reduplication! and with these two in particular, i like the way that the sounds rock back and forth, like an aural representation of the action they would describe.

renvoyer/remettre [qqch] aux calendes grecques: postpone [sth] indefinitely. i was confused by this one because i looked up calendes and naturally it translates as calends, which as a former latin student i know to be the first day of the month (just as the ides is a specific day in the middle of the month) in the ancient roman calendar. but according to this random website whose trustworthiness i have not determined, that's precisely the point: to postpone something until the calends of the greeks is to never do it, because the greek calendar doesn't even HAVE a calends. makes me think of that episode of parks & rec when ron had like 90 meetings on the same day because april had been scheduling all his meetings for march 31st, thinking that march only has 30 days. damn, should have scheduled them all for the greek calends. the french could have told her that.

calter/caleter ([qqch]): shift [sth], move [sth]; scram, scat, leg it. i will just be scooping this up and squirreling it away in my hoard of ways to talk about getting the hell out of dodge, thank you…

faire un câlin is to hug…or to have sex!! why does french keep doing this to me. i just want some affection-related words that are not also sex slang, is that so much to ask??

callipyge: endowed with a nice butt. i am not making this up, it is a word and it is in this pocket french dictionary. would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for the meeting at which they decided to keep this one in. "callipyge? oh yeah that one's essential." done and dusted. (okay after i wrote this i did hear moira say "my callipygean ass" in an episode of schitt's creek i was rewatching, but i think that still proves my point, because moira.)

une cambuse: can't believe there's an entire word for "hovel" that victor hugo never used in les mis. monsieur come collect your word (that also means "ship's galley")!

un camembert: obviously there is a cheese called this but DID YOU KNOW it's also the word for pie chart?? that's so french omg.

faire la carpette: bend over backwards to please someone; lie on the floor. i love the double meaning: figuratively being a doormat or literally just being flat on the ground. oh carpet we're really in it now…

faire la carpe pâmée: feign unconsciousness. quick, they're looking this way! do the fainted carp!

so many great casse- compounds, including three that all mean snack (un casse-croûte (lit. break-crust), un casse-dalle, un casse-graine (lit. break-food)). there's a whole bunch of casse-[body part] compounds: un(e) casse-couilles (lit. break-balls) and un(e) casse-pieds (lit. break-feet) both mean pain in the ass, while un(e) casse-cou (break-neck) is a daredevil and un casse-tête (lit. break-head) is a brainteaser, a conundrum, or a club/mace. the adjective casse-gueule (lit. break-face) means risky, dangerous, tricky. i also checked my separate french slang dictionary (you can't expect me to have just ONE french dictionary, come on) because i thought it was weird that there was no casse-cul even though the word cul is like the number one word to put in french idioms, and guess what. un(e) casse-cul is ALSO a pain in the ass. i am feeling so smug about this extremely obvious deduction. eat yer heart out, hercule poirot!

ça passe ou ça casse: it's make or break. love me a pithy rhyming cliche! i hope they say this on french reality shows…i can totally imagine it in a dramatic announcer voiceover.

je me casse: i'm outta here. yes!! another one for the casual farewell arsenal!!!

être assis(e)/avoir le cul entre deux chaises: have a foot in each camp, be sitting on the fence, be caught in the middle. literally: be sitting ass between two chairs. just such a good image.

appuyer sur le champignon: step on the gas. why is the gas pedal a mushroom? heck if i know, but i am on board with it and ready to be charmed.

tenir la chandelle: be the third wheel. listen, it was probably really complicated to have sex back in the days of 1) complicated dress and 2) no electricity. maybe you need someone to illuminate all the tricky fastenings you're trying to undo…that's where the candle guy comes in.

passe ton chemin !: on your way/off with you! i am collecting soooo many ways to tell people to leave. if i could just go back twenty years to that one time i was in a phone booth in the south of france with a friend who was being harassed by an adult french man…i sure would be able to yell something at him in the right language this time. rick steves taught me how to propose to someone in marriage but not how to rebuff a creep. come on, rick! priorities!

être comme cul et chemise: be thick as thieves, be bosom buddies. literally, be like ass and shirt, which maybe didn't age super well, because these days most shirts don't even cover the ass 🙄 interestingly, i looked up "be in cahoots with [sb]" on wordreference to see if that was also a possible translation of this expression, and it turned up être en chemise avec [qqn]. which is maybe just a slightly less vulgar way of saying comme cul et chemise? i don't have a great sense for how rude of a word "cul" is considered to be, since as i mentioned previously it appears in approximately five hundred thousand french expressions.

just to throw another thing in the mix, être en cheville avec [qqn] ALSO means to be in cahoots with [sb]. maybe être en chemise avec is what happens when être comme cul et chemise and être en cheville avec have a baby?? (before reading this dictionary i only knew about the "ankle" sense of cheville, but apparently it's also like a dowel that you use when building stuff? so that's probably the sense that's being invoked in this expression.)

chiche (incidentally, pronounced just like "sheesh") is an interjection meaning "i dare you!" (it's also an adjective meaning stingy.) this section of the dictionary also has cap ou pas cap ? (cap: short for capable), which appears to mean the same thing. kids gotta have ways to taunt each other into doing dumb shit. it's a universal law, probably.

bête comme chou: dead simple, easy as pie, easy-peasy. literally, stupid as cabbage. it's so easy a cabbage could do/understand it, and cabbages aren't exactly known for their feats of intelligence or skill. remembering this one should be bête comme chou. (i wish i could leave it there but i did actually look up the etymology of bête comme chou and it seems to be more that chou was slang for ass, so calling someone bête comme chou was like calling them a dumbass, and then at some point the meaning shifted to refer to things a dumbass can't do or understand rather than the dumbass themselves. but "so easy a cabbage could do it" is easier to remember, so.)

faire chou blanc: come up short, come up empty-handed. i was reading this thinking, man, the french sure don't think much of the capabilities of cabbages, but i looked up the etymology of faire chou blanc and this actually comes from the berry dialect, where coup is pronounced chou. un c[h]oup blanc was a phrase used in the game of quilles (skittles, related to bowling) for when you fail to hit any pins whatsoever. so faire chou blanc is basically to throw a gutter ball!

ferme ton clapet !: shut your trap! jotting this down for my trip in time back to that one phone booth harasser guy 👀📝 he will rue the day i built a time machine and also the day i decided to read the entire french dictionary.

prendre ses cliques et ses claques: pack up and leave, take one's things and go. listen, i'm a simple guy. you put two words that sound almost the same right next to each other and i eat that shit right up. also, as established i have this weird obsession with learning as many ways as possible to talk about removing myself from situations. so welcome to the fold, my child. you may have clique-claqued your way out of wherever you were before, but you are home now. allow me to introduce you to all your new siblings.

des clous !: no way!, no chance! clous are nails. don't look at me, i don't get it either. i just think it's catchy.

le petit coin: bathroom. literally "the little corner". as far as euphemisms go, i much prefer this to "the little boys'/girls' room".

c'est le comble/c'est un comble: that takes the cake, well now i've heard it all, you couldn't make this up. le comble is the pinnacle of something, the most [thing] that [thing] can be. so it's like whew, there's no beating that! also it comes from the latin word cumulus btw.

comme tout: as anything, as can be. in other words, af.

en compote: aching, sore. as though your muscles have been pureed into jam i guess?

une contrepèterie: a spoonerism! this is when two sounds in a phrase are switched, changing the meaning of the phrase in a comical way ("the lord is a shoving leopard" for "the lord is a loving shepherd", for example). the french example given in the wikipedia article for spoonerisms is "femme folle à la messe et femme molle à la fesse" ("insane woman at mass, woman with flabby buttocks") from a novel by rabelais. (which is kind of giving me freak in the sheets lady in the streets vibes now that i think about it.)

convivial(e): convivial, friendly, congenial, of course, but also easy to use, user-friendly! i find this so charming. i am truly so easy to please.

sauter/passer du coq-à-l'âne: go off on a tangent, be all over the place. literally, jump from the rooster to the donkey. makes sense to me. you thought we were talking about the rooster? well, now we're talking about the donkey. try to keep up.

les coquelicots: period, menstruation, time of the month. un coquelicot is a poppy, but les coquelicots? watch out. i haven't confirmed this, but i'm choosing to believe it's because of the color. also, i love poppies, and i love the word coquelicot. if getting my stupid period gives me the opportunity to say this fun word, i'll take it.

corser [qqch]: spice [sth] up (figurative or literal); complicate [sth]; flavor [sth]. my first thought was "is corsican cuisine known for being spicy??" but the etymology of corser is actually from the word corps, meaning body. so, you're giving body to something. neat! there's also se corser (get complicated, thicken), as in la situation se corse (the plot thickens). oh yeah. now we're cookin'.

en tenir une couche: be a dumbass, not be playing with a full deck. une couche is a layer, so i'm thinking this is like not having much going on under the hood. what you see is what you get. there's nothing under the surface. nobody at home.

ma couille: dude, mate. i definitely need ways to say dude in french. couille means testicle btw, because of course it does. this is french we're talking about.

un coupe-coupe: machete. literally, a cut-cut. if only more french words were formed using this logic!! i could get used to this.

le crachin: drizzle. which also allows you to say the truly incredible phrase il y a du crachin (it's drizzling). (cracher is to spit.)

ça craint: that sucks; life sucks. craindre [qqch] is to be afraid of [sth], so i don't totally get the connection, but i say "that sucks" all the time, so it's nice to have a way to say it in french. actually, it would be better if things could just suck less. but that does seem more difficult than just learning some words.

avoir un (petit) creux: feel peckish. un creux is a hollow so this is giving me vibes like please sir 🥺 my tummy is a lil empty 🥺👉👈

le cuir: leather, but also apparently the word for making a liaison (aka pronouncing the letter on the end of a word because the following word starts with a vowel) when you're not supposed to. no idea what that has to do with leather, but i do find myself kind of charmed against my will to know that there's a specific word for this mistake i make all the time. i guess that means i'm not alone. OR they made up the word just for me 🥰 either way, a win imho.

avoir du cul: be damn lucky. okay the rest of these are cul idioms. i told you there were a lot, so i have just picked my very favorites.

avoir la tête dans le cul if translated literally would be more or less "have one's head up one's ass", mais attention because apparently in french it means be half-asleep, be dozy, feel like shit. so if someone says j'ai la tête dans le cul, they are probably not inviting you to join them in roasting them for being a dumbass. word to the wise.

en avoir plein/ras le cul (de [qqch]): be sick and tired (of [sth]), be fed up (with [sth]), have had it up to here (with [sth]). french truly is a beautiful language.

saving the best for last (but also, it just came last in the alphabet): et mon cul, c'est du poulet ?: yeah, right!, my ass! literally "and my ass, it's [made of] chicken?" i assume i don't have to explain why this brings me such joy.

next up…51 pages of Ds! (which i actually finished reading long ago and am now in the E's but shhhhh)

#and my ass‚ it is made of chicken?#yeah okay i'll incorporate that into my lexicon.#french #lecture du dico #my posts #links #cuts #linked to #cul idiom count: only 7! you have no idea what a feat of curation this was. there are soooo many cul idioms u guys...#ps i actually only have one french dictionary if you don't count french-english dictionaries #if you do count them i have four french dictionaries #because obviously i just have a regular old french-english english-french dictionary #then i have one of those but specifically for slang. it is however from 20 years ago so it's unclear how dated it is #then i have a 'dictionary' of french idioms that translates them into english. i guess that's not exactly a dictionary though #i also have at least one little guidebook #but honestly mostly i use online dictionaries lol #i've been thinking lately i might go down from 3 pages a day to 2 pages a day #what's the rush? plus i am now going through sections faster than i can write about them #so we'll see. that would still have me finishing less than a year after i started #and then who knows? there's always the slang dictionary...#😎

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n-bjd · 9 months

Text

Tek's Respirator FAQ for faceups & modding Ball Jointed Dolls

Copied from DenofAngels original posted date: Sep 21, 2010 Last edited by a moderator: Oct 10, 2016

Are you qualified to talk about this?

Yes. I [Tekenduis] am a Certified Respiratory Protection Tester/Trainer with extensive training in respiratory protection. I work at a company where my staff are exposed on a daily basis to some of the most harmful chemicals in industry. They can and will be exposed to things like silica, isocyanates and cyanide gas. Their short and long-term health is in my hands and I take that very seriously. Deadly seriously, in fact.

What is respiratory protection?

Respiratory protection is a part of your Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) designed to filter or block harmful substances from reaching your respiratory system. The hobbyists primary form of respiratory protection is the respirator. There are a great number of types of respirators, some useful only for certain applications (see more on this below). The two most common respirators for hobbyists are the disposable respirator and the half-face respirator.

The half-face respirator is a mask that covers your nose and mouth, and has cartridges that clip on, screw on, or otherwise attach to ports on the mask.

The disposable respirator looks like a dust mask or surgeon's mask. It is, as the name implies, made to be disposed of after a short period of time.

Why do I need it?

Many of the items that we work with as doll customizers are toxic and many of them are cumulatively toxic. You may feel ill for a while and then get better, but the sorts of diseases that can be caused by sanding processes and spraying processes can come back to haunt you many years down the road. These products can cause Cancer and Pneumoconiosis. Cancer may be treatable if caught early enough. Pneumoconiosis, which is respiratory diseases like asbestosis, silicosis and coalworker's "black lung" disease, is NOT TREATABLE. Your doctors will work hard to make you comfortable while you die. That is the most they will be able to do for you. If you get Pneumoconiosis you will DIE.

☠️ Are you scared? You should be. This is life and death. Do not play Russian Roulette with your health. ☠️

What do I need?

That depends on the application that you are going to be using your respiratory protection for.

Sanding

For sanding applications (including sanding of resin, apoxie and other sculpting materials, and wood), you need a respirator that provides at least N95 level protection. It should say N95 somewhere on the mask itself. If it doesn't say, it is not good enough. There is a scale to protection levels and anything above N95 is also acceptable (of course).

The levels are: N95 P95 N100 P100

What does this mean?

The prefix ahead of the number will tell you if the mask is Oil Proof or Not. The number will tell you the percentage effectiveness of the filter against particles of less than 0.3 Microns. An N100 or P100 filter may also be known as a HEPA filter. On the bright side, having a small supply of these types of respirators will mean that you are following CDC and WHO recommendations for infectious disease outbreaks, which may or may not include the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse.

P100 filters are also effective in welding applications. N95 and above filters are most commonly found in the disposable variety and may also be referred to as "dust masks" or "surgical masks". Remember, if it doesn't say N95 (or one of the other codes listed above) it is not good enough!**

Spray

This includes all types of spray applications, whether you are spraying sealant (like MSC or Testors) or airbrushing or spraying paints. The process of spraying releases aerosols (and this is true whether or not you are using an aerosol spray can product. Airbrushing paint creates aerosols too!) for which an N95 filter is not effective.

At this point, you will need to move into a mask that protects you against Organic Vapors AND has an N95 filter. This will mean moving into a half-face respirator.

Your respirator is no longer disposable and can be used again and again without ill effect; the only thing that will need replacing is your filter and (if applicable) your prefilter. Some respirator brands have an N95 filter built right into the Organic Vapour cartridge, but I recommend looking for one that does not, for ease of replacement. Cartridges and filters have different life spans and it is more economical to replace only the part that requires replacing (more on this below!).

Okay! I've got my mask, I'm totally safe now right?

No. There are three things that can negatively impact the safety of your mask; poor fit, improper maintenance and environmental levels.

Poor Fit

A respirator (of any type) is completely and utterly useless if it is the wrong size for you and is not fitted properly. Please ensure you've read the section on fitting your mask to ensure that your mask is correctly fit.

How do I know if it fits?

According to my local Occupational Health and Safety Code, a respirator cannot legally be used in a workplace environment if it has not been correctly Fit Tested. Keep in mind that half-face respirators come in various sizes. Most women and men wear a medium but if you have a particularly slender or wide face, you may need a small or large. If you have a crooked nose, or sinus problems, look for a mask made of silicon; you will find it more comfortable than plastic or rubber.

Improper Maintenance

Your respirator is equally useless if you are not properly maintaining and caring for it. This includes care of the mask between uses and replacement. Please see the section on maintaining your mask for more information.

Environmental Levels

Environmental levels are important to take into account, as your mask can only protect you against the things it was designed to protect you against up to a certain concentration. since I'm sure none of us have the money or inclination to commit to environmental testing of our workspaces, the best way to ensure this is to make sure that the area in which you are working is properly ventilated before you start your project, and until well after you are finished. Open your windows, PREFERABLY PLEASE work outside so that there is fresh air circulating in the area you're working in. If the air is particularly still (no breeze) while you're working, it is worth investing in a simple fan. Set it up in your window, with the fan blowing out the window (ie: the front of the fan where the air blows from facing towards the window). This will help pull the toxins out of your room. Alternately, if you are working outdoors, set the fan up on your table to help promote air movement.

Fit Testing

Fit testing uses a noxious but harmless substance (usually either irritant smoke or Bitrex; an additive used to create bitterness in household cleaners to prevent children from tasting them) to ensure that the seal between the mask and the face is tight and proper. Qualitative fit testing is the most common type, and requires the user of the mask to confirm the presence of the noxious substance. In some cases (depending on chemicals in the environment or failure of the Qualitative test) Quantitative fit testing may be required; this type of fit testing uses scientific sensors to record levels inside the mask. If you have access to fit testing, especially with a half-face respirator, I encourage you to take advantage of it! Fit testing needs to be redone every two years, in the case of weight loss or gain of more than 15 lbs or in the case of surgery (including dental) involving the face.

And if I don't have access?

I have done hundreds of fit tests for staff at my place of employment and I can usually tell how well a mask is likely to fit prior to the fit test being done. This is done with a simple self test. In order to be effective this test must be done every single time you use the respirator (even if you pull it down to talk to someone and put it right back on!).

For Disposable

Step 1: Put your respirator on. Step 2: Cup your hands tightly over your mouth and nose, over top of the respirator. Step 3: Suck in a long breath. You will get air, but it should all be coming in through the small cracks between your fingers. You should not feel any air coming in from around the nose piece or under your chin. If you do, refit the mask and try again. If you cannot complete this successfully, you will need either a larger or smaller mask. Step 4: With your hands still over your mouth and nose, blow out. Again, you should feel the air moving past your fingers, and never around the bridge of your nose or under your chin.

For Half-Face

Step 1: Put on your mask and make sure the straps are tight. Step 2: Cover the cartridge, as much as possible, with the palm of your hands and suck in. The mask will likely deflate slightly. You should feel some air coming in through the cartridge but no air coming in from the sides, under your chin, or around your nose. If you do, adjust the mask and try again. If you cannot complete this step successfully, you will need either a smaller or larger mask. Step 3: Cover the exhalation valve of your respirator with the palm of your hand and blow out. You should feel the mask inflate slightly and again, you should feel no air escaping from the side of your mask, under your chin or around your nose.

😷 How do I maintain my mask?

Respirator maintenance is exceptionally simple, takes very little time, and ensures that you are not exposing yourself to toxins. Take the extra few minutes to ensure that your respirator is working right!

Before you put it on

For Disposable

Do a quick visual check of the respirator. Is it dirty? A little discolouration from the dust is fine, but too much might mean that your respirator is clogged. I'll discuss this a bit further down. Check that your straps are still in good condition. Check that the foam piece at the nose is intact (if applicable) and that the metal part that bends across your nose is not bent out of shape. If your mask is clogged or not in good condition, replace it.

For Half-Face

Do a quick visual check of the inside and outside of your mask. Make sure that the valves (the little rubbery seals on the inhalation and exhalation points) are present and in good condition. Make sure there are no cracks or tears in your mask. Ensure that your filters are firmly attached. Correct any of these issues before proceeding with your work.

After you take it off

For disposable

Do another quick visual check of your mask. If everything is still in order, seal your mask inside a baggie and put it somewhere safe.

For Half-Face

Wipe all surfaces of the mask that touch your face with a respirator cleaning wipe. If you don't have any, use the following: For masks made of natural rubber, use a non-alcohol based antimicrobial wipe. For masks made of silicone or plastic, wipe with isopropanol (isopropyl alcohol, or rubbing alcohol). This step is less about the effectiveness of your mask and more about preventing build up of oils from the skin which can degrade the mask over time, necessitating replacement, as well as causing skin breakouts!

Seal your mask inside of a baggie or well-sealed (and clean!) coffee can and put it somewhere safe.

🧼 Once a month you should remove the cartridges and clean your mask with soap and water, and hang it up to dry. This keeps the inside of your mask smelling pleasant. Sweat and condensation from your breathing can build up in there over time and cause the mask to smell unpleasant.

🤔 How often do I need to replace my respirator, or cartridges?

Filters will only last so long! Keep in mind that whether or not you are actively breathing through your respirator (IE: wearing it) it is still filtering the air around you. The average Organic Vapour filter, which is what you should be wearing at the least for spraying, lasts approximately 24–48 hours. That's it! Not very long, right?

The good news is that you can extend the life of your filters dramatically by placing them into a sealed container, like a baggie or coffee can, as discussed in the section above. My staff generally see a lifetime of 1–2 weeks from their filters, and most staff are using their filters at least once a day.

💁 How do I know it's time to replace them?

For Disposable, N95 and above Your respirator is a simple filter made up of layer of material that filter out small particulates from the air. Eventually your respirator will become clogged and need to be replaced. This is not a matter of time, it is a matter of volume of filtering, something not easily tracked.

As a general rule of thumb, when your filter is ready to be replaced, you will know it because it will get harder to suck a good deep breath in. As soon as you start to feel this, replace your respirator. For Half-Face

Organic Vapour Cartridge – Because this is filtering vapours (or aerosols), you will know it is time to replace it the moment you smell or taste anything through the filters; even the tiniest bit. Throw them out and get new ones.

N95 Prefilter

Please see the explaination for disposables above, your prefilter works the same way. If your prefilter is built into your organic vapour cartridge, it is a matter of volume of filtering, something not easily tracked.

I've got this bandana/old respirator of my uncles/some other thing…

❌ Cloth is not an effective filter against either particulate or vapours. ❌

Your respirator needs to be yours. Quite aside from the obvious sanitation issues, if the respirator belongs to someone else, it may not fit correctly and is therefore ineffective.

You're just trying to scare us. No one actually gets sick from this. ☠️ ☠️

There are several people here on the [DenofAngels] forums that have stepped up to talk about the health problems that they have suffered as a result of exposure to chemicals in either this hobby or others.

NON ORIGINAL POST NOTE: Before you dismiss the risks involved please realize that even my friend, a professional artist has experienced the direct effects of long term exposure to harsh chemicals and resins for both film and personal BJD casting even when frequently taking proper protection.

🛍️ 🛒 Where do I get these things?

Disposable respirators are readily available in home improvement stores and pharmacies; just make sure you get one that says N95, or above, as discussed earlier. You can also refer to post #3 below for a Shopping Guide.

Half-face respirators are sometimes available in home improvement stores, but are also readily available from safety suppliers (many of which are open to the general public) and online.

🤢 I worked without my mask and now I'm not feeling well. Am I going to be okay?

This question is best discussed with your Doctor. My speciality is prevention, not treatment. I can tell you what results you may incur, but I cannot and will not attempt to diagnose your health, especially not over the internet.

Masks & Respirator Purchase links:

⚠️⚠️⚠️ THIS LIST IS FROM 2010⚠️⚠️⚠️ I AM ONLY INCLUDING PRODUCTS THAT STILL EXIST:

Disposable Respirators ("Dust Masks")

3M 8210 Lowes & Home Depot

3M 8210 Plus As above, but with a fabric elastic strap, so they last longer, but tend to be a bit more expensive.

3M 8511 Similar to the 8210 series, but these have an exhalation valve, which can prove more comfortable in hot or humid environments.

Half-Face Respirators (Rubber)

3M 6000 Series Half-Face Respirator Amazon (Small) Amazon (Med.)

3M 6001 Organic Vapour Cartridges & 3M 5N11 N95 Prefilters Cartridges Amazon Resupply Kit (OV Cartridges and Prefilters)

Starter Kits Amazon

Half-Face Respirators (Silicon)

3M 7500 Series Half-Face Respirator Amazon (Small) Amazon (Medium) Amazon (Large)

Starter Kits Amazon (Small) Amazon (Medium) Amazon (Large)

This is not my original post, I am simply sharing this information as not everyone can access the DenofAngels forums! Stay safe and creative guys!

#bjd #faceup #ball jointed doll #psa #warning #health and safety #respiratory health

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