I'll just think everyone is from chiba and everyone is an autumn baby. Where are you from? Chiba. Born when? November. Blood type 007. Tiger aquarius. In november?! Say you follow the lunar calendar. Say you're 42 if they're in their 20's, 25 if they're in their 40's. Wear the most synthetic looking pink wig. Halfway reveal dramatically that it isn't a wig but your real hair. Say you double majored in an eating contest and awarded good citizen for paying extra rounds for everyone in the coin laundry. Politicians lie all the time and get elected, do it for extra terrestrial friends.