Excuses

NOT A PR0MPT

******

“You are not welcome here.” The words were punctual. Strict. Demanding. Maybe they would have been intimidating if Hero hadn’t been shaking beneath her covers.

“Trying to cast me away like a spirit? It won’t work.” A glowing smile emerged from the darkness, one so bright that it was nearly blinding, but so direct that it was far from illuminating the room. The smile was all Hero could see.

“You are not welcome here.”

“Did saying it again satisfy your fear?” The smile grew. “I’m no spirit, Hero. Only a shadow in the dark and a smile to haunt your dreams.”

Why? the hero wondered. Why did her brain punish her like this when she only killed one man? Villain killed tens of people every day- for information, for revenge…for fun. Hero only took out a threat.

“Did they haunt you?” she asked, voice so quiet that Villain would not have been able to hear it- even if he were human laying beside Hero in bed. “The people you killed, did they haunt you?”

His response held no callous, no maliciousness. It was calm, matter-of-fact. “No.”

Hero shook her head. Of course not. Villain had no remorse, no nagging part of his brain which told him ‘You’re better than this.’ Villain, she thought, was evil. Maybe he hadn’t always been that way, but he sure as hell was now, even now that he was a dead, opaque shadow of a man.

“What was there to feel guilty about? I had my own means, and they were all expendable.”

Knowing Villain, Hero imagined that slow blink he used to give. Arrogant, careless. She used to admire that; his ability to ignore everyone else, to do things for himself- and himself only. Not many people knew how to take care of themselves, but Villain sure did. It only became too much when Hero realized she was as regular as everyone else to Villain. She was just as replaceable.

***

“You are taking this too far. How many people have to die for you to make a point!”

Villain’s hands were bloody, and they had been for as long as Hero could remember anymore. Red, always red.

“As many as it takes.”

Hero wasn’t even sure what the point was. Villain was- he was a murderer, and the explanations he was giving were starting to become dull. Did he ever have a true purpose?

“Someone does you wrong and you have to destroy everyone for it?” Hero questioned, voice uncontrollably raised. It was a simple and unfortunate situation that Villain was so worked up about, that he killed multiple undeserving people for.

“It was hardly everyone. You’re still alive, aren’t you?” He walked to the sink and Hero shuddered when his red hand touched the handle. She would disinfect it when he was done.

“You might as well have. So what if she got the promotion and you didn’t? Do you really think she had it out for you or anyone else who applied for it?” Hero swallowed. “What if it had been me instead of her?”

“It wasn’t.”

She argued, “But it could have been. Answer me.”

He turned the handle back, stopping the water flow, and not able to find a rag, shook the excess water onto the stovetop. The water hissed against the burner as Hero had had soup there just before Villain arrived.

“What if it had been me instead of her?” 

How was it that Hero had been putting up with this for so long? Why did she let any excuse to kill another human become an excuse? There were none for what Villain was doing. He was killing. He was killing for the sake of killing.

“I would do whatever I felt like doing, just like I’ve always done. And if you had a problem with it”- he shrugged, then didn’t finish.

So, he would kill her, if the time arose- if he felt like it, if he felt angered enough, if something happened which wasn’t her fault, if he felt like something was her fault. He would kill Hero.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” His voice was neutral, with no trace of harm like there had been last he’d spoken.

“You don’t mean it. You’re saying it because it suits you in this moment- because you know I would leave right this moment if you didn’t say it.” But what did it matter? Hero didn’t mean anything to him anyway if he was willing to kill her for nothing. “I’m your coverup,” she said. “You’re using me to avoid suspicion.”

His response was as chilling as winter’s first breeze. “You think so?” he asked, and it would have seemed so innocent if not for his straight, unchanging face. Hero suddenly felt nervous being in the kitchen- so many sharp knives and scissors and meat mallets and...and he was grabbing a glass cup. Glass was breakable, harmful, weaponizable.

***

That night, it was Hero’s hands covered in blood, and that blood belonged to Villain.

***

"Am I as entertaining to you now as before- asking questions you’ve been waiting for me to ask?” Hero wouldn’t let Villain’s ghost bother her. She would suffer her own guilt in her own time.

“It’s all I’ve looked forward to.”

Hero’s chest tightened. After declaring she wouldn’t be affected, she still was. Villain was a ghost, a paranormal being she used to make fun of at the mention of it. “Then I’ll stop asking.” She pulled her blanket up to her lips. “What will it take to get rid of you?”

“Maybe a kiss goodnight would do,” Villain said. “You can blow it to me if it makes you feel safer, more comfortable.”

Sinister. Villain was sinister, and evil, and every negative adjective in the dictionary.

“You’re powerless right now- a white sheet with eyes and a voice. You’re nothing else.” Hero said this more to herself than Villain. “When I close my eyes, it will be like you were never here. Your voice will be a nightmare that I’ll forget in the morning.”

She did close her eyes, and when Villain persisted that he be her waking nightmare- not only her sleeping one- Hero ignored him. She was already dreaming, she told herself in the confines of her own mind. Villain was practically see-through; he couldn’t hurt her. He would taunt her and make her feel intimidated, but he couldn’t truly do anything. He had no power.

Hero wouldn’t say goodnight, but she would say the guilt she felt was fading. The fact she killed someone no longer mattered.

She had an excuse.

But didn’t Villain have excuses as well?

The Bad Batch Season 2: How Omega Is Forcing Clone Force 99’s Emotional Development

Star Wars has the most compelling characters in fictional history. From the no-nonsense rogue in Han Solo to the Mandalorian Bounty Hunter with new purpose in Din Djarin; the emotional elements are always the core of these stories. Similarly, The Bad Batch has been doing a great job developing these characters that were initially introduced as one-note novelties, in many ways. But more importantly, it’s Omega in The Batch Batch that is forcing these characters to grow and develop into becoming just as iconic within the Star Wars franchise. Read on to find out that Omega is the catalyst for Clone Force 99’s emotional development. Disclaimer: The following will contain spoilers for all episodes of The Bad Batch season 1 and 2, up until episode 9 titled ‘The Crossing’. Clone Force 99 Began As One Note Characters When introduced, every member of Clone Force 99 (all Dee Bradley Baker) had a gimmick to them. Wrecker was the muscle, Tech the brain, Hunter the leader, Crosshair the marksman and Echo was the one with experience outside of the group, given his time with the regular Clone Troopers. In addition to his expertise with technical systems, of course. With Omega thrown into the mix, these characters had to evolve into something more. While Crosshair’s journey took him down a different path, the other members needed to grow beyond what they thought were their natural abilities. The most notable change came from Hunter. In episode 1 of season 1, Hunter let a young Jedi escape, which is what initially created tension between him and Crosshair. When he came across a young Omega (Michelle Ang), his paternal instincts kicked in further. Hunter’s arc through season 1 was very much about protecting Omega and giving her a life away from the Empire and its politics and war. So much so that, he seemingly also wanted that for The Bad Batch too, content with doing jobs for Cid (Rhea Perlman) and making money to provide for her. Omega’s idealism in wanting to help people is also becoming a priority for Hunter in season 2, seeing how he is more and more willing to join the fight against the Empire. Due to Omega’s newly developed sense of morality and values. Something, by the way, that she is learning from the Batch herself. With Omega In The Bad Batch, The Dynamic Shifted Along with Hunter, Omega got along famously with Wrecker, given their emotional maturity being in similar stages. In Omega, Wrecker found a sibling to be a kid with, something that he didn’t have among his brothers. And whatever brief interactions Omega had with Crosshair, she really showed him the compassion that he may never have gotten anywhere else. Omega even forgave Crosshair for his betrayal, deeming it as not his fault, at the time. In many ways, Omega’s comments may have been the first hint to Crosshair that he stands apart from his brothers when it comes to their dynamic after Order 66. Echo and Omega share the most in common, at least in the beginning. Both of them have had a life outside of The Bad Batch and brought those experiences to the team. Echo, having been a regular Clone Trooper has a strong sense of duty and morality, something he has instilled within Omega as well. They both share a commitment to helping people and doing the right thing, despite Hunter’s usual apprehension. Omega Found The Heart Within The Brain With Omega in The Bad Batch, the last person affected is Tech. The one member of Clone Force 99 who rarely processes emotions but rather approaches everything from a cold logical perspective. But in the latest episode 9 of season 2, we finally see how even Tech isn't immune to Omega's influence on the team. With Echo off with Rex fighting the Empire after the events of episode 8, Omega felt like she lost a member of her family. Struggling to deal with it, she butts heads with Echo, who couldn’t comprehend her sadness about it. When both Echo and Omega get trapped in a cavern on their own, they had to confront their issues. It was an amazingly sweet moment where Tech confessed that despite his cold nature, he does feel, but processes those feelings differently than others. That scene felt like a child asking their parent complex emotional questions, and the parent struggling to explain those nuances to them. It was a wonderful scene that showed how Tech has a heart, and having Omega in his life is forcing him to deal with those feelings. In his own way, Tech was super sweet and very considerate of Omega and her feelings, while having to face his own. Clone Force 99 is definitely better off with Omega in The Bad Batch, but how this growth and development affect their eventual place in the galaxy remains to be seen. The Bad Batch season 2 episode 9 is now streaming on Disney+. What do you think about how the Batch is growing, and how that may or may not affect them in the long run? Share with me in the comments below. Read the full article

Repercussions

Fandom: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

Title: Repercussions

Rating: G

Pairing: Zoey/Max

Synopsis: Sequel to Fallout (and episode 7 of the series). Zoey still has the ability to hear other people's "heartsongs" but now others can hear her feelings, too. Will Max finally learn how she feels about him? (Inspired by the episode 8 description.)There will be a third story in this mini-series!

“So, how are things going with you are Max?” Mo asked, grabbing the cup of tea Zoey offered as he sat down on the couch next to her.

“They’re…fine,” she replied, the noticeable pause between the words betraying the doubt behind her smile. At Mo’s pointed look, she shrugged and took a sip of her tea to delay the inevitable. “They’re…I don’t know. They’re awkward. He asked for space, and I’m giving him space.”

Mo lifted his eyebrows and swept his hair off his shoulder in a gesture that somehow managed to capture the full measure of his disbelief. “And you’re okay with that?”

Zoey feigned nonchalance as she responded brightly, “I’m not not fine! I totally understand! He’s my best friend. The least I can do is to give him the space he needs to, you know, process…everything!”

“You mean to process the fact that you have a superpower. And the fact that he loves you, which you knew but didn’t tell him because you aren’t ready to admit how you feel about him.”

Her laugh was shaky. “How I feel ab-No! He’s my friend! I mean, it’s complicated. Maybe he could be more than that one day. But it’s not – I-I-I’m not –”

“Able to finish sentences when you talk about him?” Mo offered in a tone that was deceptively innocent.

Zoey felt her cheeks flush as she begged, only half-joking, “Okay, could we maybe put a little less honesty in our friendship right now?”

“Uh-uh. That sounds like a waste of time, and I am having too much fun watching you squirm over that boy,” he teased.

“Really? I’d have thought you’d say it was annoying and giving you second-hand embarrassment.”

Mo shrugged. “It’s a bit of both. So what are you going to do about Max?”

She breathed out a long breath and stared into her cup so she didn’t have to meet Mo’s eyes. Finally, she said, “I’m gonna give him the space he needs and trust that, at the end of the day, I’m doing the right thing. Max is…he’s my best friend, and that relationship is just too important for me to risk if we tried for more and things just didn’t work out between us.”

Fearing Mo’s judgment, she kept her gaze locked firmly on her cup for a long moment, but when she finally looked up at her friend, his eyes were kind and he didn’t press the issue. “Okay.”

“Okay? That’s it? You’re not going to give me a hard time for being a coward?” she asked, somewhat relieved, though she was surprised to feel a tiny twinge of regret that he was letting her off the hook so easily.

“I won’t give you a hard time,” Mo reassured her. “You don’t have to date Max if you really aren’t interested in a relationship with him. But you need to accept that things are going to change between the two of you. And you have to ask yourself what you’re going to do when he decides he’s ready to move on and fall in love with someone else. Are you really going to be okay with that?”

“Of course I’ll be okay with that! I just want Max to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

She would be okay with Max falling in love with someone else, she told herself firmly as she walked through her parents’ front door later that evening. Why wouldn’t she be okay with it? She’d been okay when he dated Autumn. Heck, she’d set the two of them up! And, sure, if she was totally honest with herself, she didn’t really ever think that their relationship would become serious. And maybe she hadn’t been entirely surprised when Max ended things. But that didn’t change the fact that she’d been totally fine with the idea of him dating someone else.

Zoey forced her mind away from thoughts of Max, turning her attention to her parents instead. It was an impromptu visit, and she’d been too preoccupied after her conversation with Mo to think of calling them with a head’s up that she was heading over. It occurred to her only belatedly that she might have come at a bad time. Before she could call out to them to let them know she was there, however, she heard music filter softly through the crack between the sliding glass doors separating the foyer from her parents’ makeshift bedroom. Hesitating only a moment, she crept forward to peer into the adjoining room.

Her mom had been curled up at her dad’s side, her head on his shoulder. But as Zoey watched, the two of them stood and began to dance slowly in each others’ arms to a song she’d never heard before. She held her breath as her father began to croon softly, “You ask how much I need you. Must I explain? I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain. You ask how long I’ll love you. I’ll tell you true. Until the Twelfth of Never. I’ll still be loving you.”

Zoey’s eyes filled with tears, and though she felt like she was intruding on a private moment – even if it was one only she could see – she couldn’t pull herself away. Mitch pressed a tender kiss against his the top of wife’s head as she rested her cheek against his shoulder and picked up the song where he had left off.

“Hold me close. Never let me go. Hold me close. Melt my heart like April snow. I’ll love you ‘til the bluebells forget to bloom. I’ll love you ‘til the clover has lost its perfume. I’ll love you ‘til the poets run out of rhyme. Until the Twelfth of Never, and that’s a long, long time.”

Her father finished the song, as he led her back to their seat and the two of them resumed their positions as though they had never left – which, of course, they never had. “Until the Twelfth of Never. And that’s a long, long time.”

Fighting back tears, Zoey crept as silently as she could to the door and let herself out before they could discover her there. It was devastating to lose her father slowly, feeling him slip away from her inch by inch. But watching her dad slip away from her mom left her feeling hollow inside. Of course she’d always known that they loved each other, but her superpower had allowed her to witness their private sorrow. It was almost too much to bear.

Swiping her tears off her cheek, Zoey headed home. She couldn’t imagine what her life would be like when the day finally came that she lost her father for good. But she pressed her hand against her stomach, feeling sick at the thought of what his loss would do to her mother. Seeing without a doubt how much they loved each other, Zoey knew that pain would be unimaginable.

Part of Zoey wanted to find that kind of love one day. To love like that; to be loved like that in return. But knowing the depth of that love, she didn’t know that she would ever find the strength to carry on after such a loss. How could she ever find the strength to love someone that deeply, knowing the risk? Knowing that losing them would be like losing a part of herself?

Knowing that losing Max would be like losing a part of herself?

She couldn’t do it. She wasn’t that strong, and she certainly wasn’t that brave. She had come to terms with the fact that she was going to lose her father one day, though she dreaded it every minute of every day. She knew she would also lose her mother one day, and it would devastate her. But she also knew she would carry their love with her even after they were gone, and that love would help her find a way to carry on.

But losing Max? She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t lose him. She didn’t know how she could survive that.

Mo was right. Max would move on one day. He’d fall in love with someone else, and though he might remain the most important man in her life, she would no longer be the most important woman in his. She told herself that’s what she wanted. She wanted him to find someone else. She wanted him to be happy, even if it was with someone else. She just wasn’t sure she was strong enough or brave enough to bring him the happiness he deserved.

Zoey raced up the stairs and slammed her apartment door behind her, leaning heavily against the wood like it could protect her from the demons that haunted her. Sinking to the ground, her back to the door, she rested her forehead against her knees and felt her entire body tremble as she cried.

“What’ll I do when you are far away, and I am blue? What’ll I do?”

The music was soft and sad, carrying faintly through Mo’s door, and he frowned, poking his head outside to follow the source. It seemed to be coming from Zoey’s apartment, so he stepped forward and knocked softly on the door. “Zoey?”

“What’ll I do when I am wondering who is kissing you? What’ll I do?”

Zoey didn’t answer, so he knocked a little harder. He didn’t want to interrupt, but there was something so desolate about her singing, he couldn’t just leave her alone. “Zoey, it’s Mo. Are you okay?”

“What’ll I do with just a photograph to tell my troubles to? When I’m alone with only dreams of you that won’t come true, what’ll I do?”

“I-I’m fine!” Zoey finally called through the door, her voice thick with emotion. “I just…I need to be alone right now.”

Mo hesitated, but he finally dropped his hand to his side. “Okay. But I’m just across the hall if you need anything.” He didn’t receive a response, so he retreated to his apartment after giving the door one more long, reluctant look.

“All right, I give up. What’s going on with you?” Joan asked heavily as she stared at Zoey across her desk. For the last several days, Zoey had been distracted and scattered. More than usual, even. While Joan always prided herself on not caring about the personal lives of her twenty-something staff, Zoey had been there for her recently, with everything that happened with Charlie. Joan might not be very good at reciprocal friendship – always too wrapped up in her work and the next big idea – but she was willing to try.

“Up? Nothings up. Everything’s fine!” Zoey replied, with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

Joan groaned deep in her throat. “Look, I’m not very good at this. But you were here for me when I needed someone to talk to. And I want you to know that…you know…if you need to talk to someone…well, you can talk to me.” When the younger woman didn’t speak right away, she took a stab in the dark, suggesting, “Is this about what happened at Simon’s engagement party?”

Zoey seemed genuinely confused. “What? No, of course not. I mean, things were awkward for a little while between us, but I think we’re working our way through it.”

“So it’s about your friend with the bad fashion sense.” She knew she was on the right track when Zoey’s gaze dropped to her lap and her cheeks turned red. She didn’t say anything, so Joan pressed, “The one who’s in love with you.”

Zoey jerked, her breath escaping in a mortified cough. “Wh-what? Why would you say that?”

“Because I have eyes?” she suggested, rolling the eyes in question. Then, realizing her sarcasm had probably hit the wrong tone, she forced her voice to soften and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Zoey winced. “No. I don’t think so. Not right now. But,” she paused and drew in a shaky breath, “thank you, Joan. For asking.” After a second’s pause, she added, “About you and Leif? I mean, about the project…There was something I…I think you should know that…uh…”

When her voice trailed off, Joan nodded her head slightly and asked, “Yes?”

She could see the indecision cross her subordinate’s face. Finally, her shoulders sagged and she mumbled, “It’s nothing. Never mind. I should get back to work.”

Relieved to escape an uncomfortable conversation about her employees’ love lives, Joan nodded briskly. She turned her attention back to her To Do list when she heard Zoey start to sing across her desk.

“Mmm num ba de. Dum bum ba be. Doo buh dum ba beh beh.”

“What?” Joan asked as Zoey jumped to her feet and started to dance around her office.

Gesturing wildly,  Zoey all but crawled on top of Joan’s desk as she sang loudly. “Pressure! Pushing down on me. Pressing down on you. No man ask for. Under pressure! That burns a building down, splits a family in two, puts people on streets. Um ba ba be. Um ba ba be. De day da. Ee day da, that’s okay!”

Joan jerked back in her chair, putting a little distance between herself and Zoey. “I don’t really understand what’s going on right now, but –”

To her relief, Zoey backed off the desk, though she still danced around her chair. “It's the terror of knowing what the world is about. Watching some good friends screaming, "Let me out!" Pray tomorrow gets me higher. Pressure on people, people on streets. Day day de mm hm. Da da da ba ba. Okay!”

“ZOEY!” Joan barked, as Zoey collapsed back into her seat.

At the sound of her name, Zoey straightened abruptly, her eyes wide in surprise. “Yes?”

Thankful that the impromptu song and dance number had ended, Joan shook her head. “All right, well. That was…weird. Try to keep a hold of yourself when you go out there, okay? I know you’re going through,” she paused and gestured vaguely, unable to even find the words for what just happened, “something. And I know there’s a lot of pressure on you right now, but I wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t sure you could handle it. Just remember not everyone is as understanding as I am and, you know, stay off my desk.”

A confused frown marred Zoey’s brow, but she nodded slowly. “Okay, well…thank you. I mean, I will.” Then she jumped to her feet and ran out of Joan’s office.

Max leaned his head back against the elevator wall and closed his eyes, steeling himself for the day ahead. When he felt the movement stop beneath his feet, he sucked in a deep breath and straightened, forcing a smile as the elevator doors slid open.

The first thing he saw was Zoey, curled up in one of the hanging wicker chairs, her computer in her lap as she resting her chin on one hand. He felt all the air escape his lungs in a whoosh. As it had for too as long as he could remember, just seeing her took his breath away. It was simultaneously both the best and worst part of his day. He allowed himself one second to wish she’d look up, that their eyes would meet across the room and he’d see her lips curve into a smile. But then, before he could indulge in wishful thinking any longer, he forced himself to look away.

For too long, he’d kept his feelings locked inside. Hidden from the world. Hidden from her. Now she was aware of them, and he was trying to come to terms with the fact that she didn’t feel the same way about him. He couldn’t help but love her, but he had to try to put those feelings behind him. He would rather have her in his life as a friend and nothing more than lose her completely. But she was the first person he thought of in the morning and the last person he thought about at night. His dreams were filled with her. She was the most important person in the world to him. How could he pretend she was anything less?

Though he could try to deny it to himself – and to her – he was pretty sure he would love her for the rest of his life. She’d held his heart in her hand from almost the moment they’d met. He couldn’t just cut out the part of himself that loved her, because he loved her with everything he was. So how could he ever force himself to stop?

Well, he had to try. She didn’t reciprocate his feelings, and he had no right to force her to share their burden. So in the meantime, while he figured out how to just stop loving her, he was forcing himself to pull away from her a little bit. Give her some space to come to terms with the unwelcome awareness of his feelings. Give his heart some space to heal.

And in the meantime, he felt her slipping away, bit by bit. Or perhaps he was slipping away from her. The worst part was, he didn’t know how to stop it without shattering his heart into pieces. As if he hadn’t done a good enough job of that already.

Giving into temptation, he shot a glance at her out of the corner of his eye, trying not to stare as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear with a graceful sweep of her hand. Then she looked up at him with such sadness in her eyes, it stopped him in his tracks. Though he knew it would only cause him further pain, he couldn’t just walk away from her when she looked so broken and alone.

“Zoey?” he asked, his voice soft as he approached her slowly. He swore to himself that he would find the strength to leave her alone, if she showed even the slightest sign that his presence was unwelcome. “Are you okay?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure.”

“Well, do you want to talk about it?” On instinct, he took a step closer. Then, realizing what he had done, he reminded himself that he was supposed to be maintaining space between them. Of course, he was supposed to be putting emotional space between them, not physical space. But until he figured out how to do the former, the latter would have to do. With that reminder, he took a step back. When he saw the flash of hurt cross her face, however, he almost reached to hold her, until he remembered that physical contact was almost certainly crossing some sort of invisible, unspoken boundary.

No matter how many pep talks he gave himself, he was really, really bad at pretending he didn’t adore her.

Choosing not to comment on his strange behavior, Zoey rested her head against the wicker frame of her chair as she swayed slowly back and forth. “I went to see my parents, and I heard them singing to each other. I just…I know I’m bad at this emotional stuff, but I don’t know how anyone could be good at it! I just can’t imagine loving someone that much and losing them! How could you even carry on after something like that? Why would you ever let yourself fall in love if you know you could lose the person you love like that?”

Max winced, shifting a little away from her once more. He wanted to offer her comfort but he, of all people, had no idea how to do so. How could you carry on when you loved someone so much that it shattered you? He was still trying to figure that out for himself.

Still, it wasn’t in him to let her go through this alone. He just wasn’t sure how to offer her advice without it sounding self-serving. “What did your mom say?” he asked cautiously.

“I didn’t tell her. I mean, I couldn’t because she doesn’t know about my superpower. But I couldn’t put that on her anyway! Not when she's dealing with so much as it is!”

“Well,” he began, still choosing his words carefully, “maybe you should try talking to your mom about this. Maybe not about your superpower, because that would be a lot for her to process right now. But about how you’re feeling.” At her skeptical look, he continued, “Zoey, if you want to know if loving someone as deeply as your mom loves your dad is worth the pain that she’s dealing with at the thought of losing him, then she’s the only one who can tell you that. I know what you’re going through is horribly, impossibly hard. But maybe she can help.”

After she’d taken a moment to consider his words, she threw him a soft, shaky smile. “You’re probably right. Maybe talking to her would make me feel better. Thank you, Max. I know I’ve said this before, but I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

It was like a dagger to the heart, but he hid the sudden shaft of pain. He’d gotten a lot of practice hiding his feelings from Zoey. Until she developed the ability to hear his emotions through song, of course. “Any time,” he replied lightly, rising to his feet.

As he turned to walk away, he heard music start to play quietly behind him. He had just started to glance around, looking for the source, when he heard Zoey start to sing.

“I know I’m kinda strange to you sometimes. Don’t always say what’s on my mind. You know that I’ve been hurt by some guy. But I don’t want to mess up this time.”

Turning back around to face her, he threw her a puzzled look. “I know you have a superpower where you can hear people singing, but I’m not sure people at work would really understand…”

She ignored him, not even reacting to his statement as she rose to her feet and approached. Her face inches away from his, she sang, “And I really, really, really care. And I really, really, really want you. And I think I’m kinda scared. ‘Cause I don’t want to lose you.”

His heart leaping in his chest, Max swallowed hard. “Zoey?” he breathed, reaching for her, but she raised her hand and side-stepped, moving behind him.

As she circled him, she continued, “If you really, really, really care, then maybe you can hang through. I hope you understand. It’s nothing to you.”

“Can we – can we talk about what’s going on right now?” he asked, reaching for her once more. But she moved away again, dancing out of his reach as she returned to her chair.

“My heart’s at a low. I’m so much to manage. I think you should know that I’ve been damaged.” She sank into her seat, curling her legs up in front of her as she finished, “I’m falling in love. There’s one disadvantage. I think you should know that I’ve been damaged.”

By the time she stopped singing, Max could barely breathe. His heart racing in his chest, he finally choked out, “Zoey? Uh…what the hell was that?”

She looked up at him in confusion. “What was what?”

My Review of Kiss x Sis

/headdesk

Okay, I guess 2019 was the year I catch up on incestish titles. After watching more recent animes involving the main boy-toy eye-banging their step-sisters like in Domestic Girlfriend and Eromanga Sensei, I thought I should go back a decade and check out a slightly-known anime known only as Kiss x Sis.

…Of course I didn’t go at this voluntarily! I have more sense than that! I just put it in the randomizer with a bunch of other animes that are unlicensed or in license limbo. Who the fuck knew this one pile of dirty underwear was going to be the one that I would watch after finishing a cute story like Fushigi Yugi?!

I hate my life sometimes!

Actually, I was semi-curious about this title back when the television anime series came out in 2010…if not horribly disgusted at the concept. But because I had other things to watch at the time like Hetalia, Durarara, and Kimi ni Todoke…you know I had better things to watch! So here we are!

Keita Suminoe is a third-year middle school student on the verge of entering high school. He has a life that the boys at his school envy.

He gets to go home to two horny step-sisters, Ako and Riko!

So basically, Keita lost his mother at a young age and his father remarries soon after. That mother has two daughters, Ako and Riko. Basically a non-fucking-a-teacher version of Domestic Girlfriend! And it is clear that these two sisters WANT THE D from their younger step-brother!!! Very clear when in the first episode alone, these two girls flashed him their boobies, stole his dirty underwear to sniff, and broke into his heavily locked-up bedroom to sleep with him and play grab-dick!

WHAT AM I WATCHING?! And this is clearly something made in the early 2010s with this shit! At least .feel productions went on to do better…God I hope so!

So we watch the weekly shenanigans of Keita trying to study in order to get into a high school, while his horny step sisters do every erotic thing you could possibly think of to get their brother’s attention. Just put the bullet in my head now, please!

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE NEVER TO BE DUB: So as of this date, no one has picked up this anime here in the states. Neither the television series nor the OVA! Which is shocking to me! You mean to tell me that Media Blasters wasn’t stupid enough to pick up this? That’s the same company that licensed a bunch of obscure yaoi and hentai titles and you’d think something like this would have gotten a full release (no pun intended). So in short, this series is unavailable on any streaming site, DVD release, or any of that shit! So yar-dee-har-har, pirate time!

The cast, I’m only familiar with one well-known name and the rest of the cast I’ve only heard in a few roles from animes I hardly remember watching. I can’t really claim that this is the anime that gave Ayana Taketatsu several incest-ish roles in the future, but you can’t argue with the results. Because Taketatsu ended up playing a girl interested in her sibling at least three other times after playing Ako. As you can tell, I am still clearly not over watching Oreimo. With that said, here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

*Keita is played by Ken Takeuchi (known for Lithuania on Hetalia and Yusuke on Green Green)

*Ako is played by Ayana Taketatsu (known for Sugu on SAO, Kirino on Oreimo, Azusa on K-ON!, Koneko on High School DxD, Hotaru on Dagashi Kashi, Yuzu on Citrus, and Erica on Berserk 2016)

*Riko is played by Yuiko Tatsumi (known for Mio/Midori on Little Busters)

I FEEL SORRY FOR…: Yeah, here’s a nice category where I feel sorry for a single character in this show that really shouldn’t have so many horrible things happen to her. Yeah, I said ‘her’. I feel sorry for Keita too (to an extent), but Miharu’s got it worse!

Miharu has just been in the wrong place at the wrong time whenever she’s around Keita. Oh sure, this anime gives us the usual schtik of her falling over and everyone sees her underwear or something else incredibly embarrassing where other classmates can see. But nothing could prepare me for episode 5 where we see this woman fondled, stuck in small spaces with that same fondler, and to cap this off, watch Miharu hold in her pee until she literally burst. Yeah, they animated this girl peeing on Keita. Add insult to injury, that wasn’t the last time we saw this girl pee on or in front of Keita. It happens again! And again!

And he even dreams about being pee’d on! In fact, every time Miharu hears Keita’s name and sees him, she wants to pee! God, this poor girl!

Amazingly, THIS still doesn’t trump Gakuto deficating during class in Prison School. But the pee-pee scenes were still pretty messed up.

SHIPPING: Oh God…where do I even begin with this tripe?! As it turns out, Keita actually had feelings for both of his older step-sisters when he was much younger. He even prayed for one day marrying both of them. But got slapped in the face by reality as Japan does not allow polygamy of that caliber!

You wouldn’t have thought that with the way he is now as he’s embarrassed and hates being fondled by his older step-sisters, but here we are. And as for Ako and Riko, they find every other boy gross, perverted, and disgusting. They like their pure little step-brother. And before you go off on the age-demographic, Ako and Riko are only one year older than Keita. So age shouldn’t really be an issue here. It’s everything else that’s hella illegal!

Oh and their parents just laugh it off and find it cute that the girls love their little brother this way. Some parents!

But it’s not just the two sisters after Keita! Keita has an underclassman named Yuuzuki who has a thing for him. Because this series isn’t complete without a Lolita flashing her panties! And then there’s Miharu…

Oh God, this poor girl. She ends up with the short end of the stick whenever Keita is around her (especially the pee scenes). I know because some of these interactions, both Keita and Miharu have felt some sort of uncomfortable yet sexual thrill with one another. I just have a feeling Keita’s going to end up with one or both of his sisters despite all this.

At least that’s all for Keita’s sordid affairs…

Episode 7 happens!

FUCK! WHY THE TEACHER?! WHY DID SHE “MAGIC-MIKE” HERSELF ON KEITA’S GYM CLOTHES!

I apologize for most of the things I ever said about Domestic Girlfriend. At least Natsuo was at legal age (in Japan). This kid is a middle schooler being pursued by two classmates, his two step-sisters, and a teacher from the high school. IT ISN’T EVEN HIS TEACHER (yet)! This lady is Ako and Riko’s teacher! I say NO to Keita getting with the teacher!

ENDING TO TV SERIES: So the main focus of the series (besides a middle school boy being lusted after by his two step-sisters, a loli, and a teacher) mostly has to do with Keita trying to study so he can enter the same high school as Ako and Riko. Yeah, Keita is usually studying whenever we get a break from loli-twincest-bait. I shouldn’t say that, because the girls still made study sessions extra sexual.

Yeah, if you have a sister writing words and phrases in provocative parts of her body, you’re gonna remember!

So Keita studied for the entrance exam and took the test. However the day of the results was anything but pleasant. Bad luck followed Keita everywhere he went. And when he went to the result board, his number wasn’t on there and so he will not attend the same high school as his sisters, his friends, and one horny teacher. And I gotta say, that’s a fucking blessing. Keita barely gets any peace at home with his sisters constantly trying to get in his undershorts. Add to that, their teacher now has pervy fantasies involving Keita along with her samurai fetish. Not going to that school is probably the best thing to happen to the boy. But that’s just my opinion. Of course he’s going to try for the school again next year.

But Keita finally got some good news! Miharu’s dog somehow got some mail from Keita and it was an acceptance package due to Keita being on the waiting list. So Keita gets to go to school with Ako and Riko. And Miharu didn’t pee on him when Keita hugged her…but the trail of pee she left as she ran off speaks otherwise. God, this fucking show!

Okay, time for graduation from middle school to high school. And as is tradition, girls ask for a button off a boy’s uniform as a memento. In Keita’s case, too many unnamed girls beat the main girls to it. So Ako and Riko decided to have a little fun by playing a different game to gain something from Keita. And then Yuuzuki and Miharu ended up in this game as well! Yuuzuki flashed her snatch to Keita and Miharu was alone in the shed with Keita for a few minutes. Surprisingly, Miharu didn’t pee all over Keita this time (although they slipped and they wound up in an awkward position).

So after that dirtiness, the family celebrated Keita’s graduation. And that night, Ako and Riko decided to give him a friendly visit while Keita slumbers. Now believe it or not, I was shocked that this scene didn’t end up with a premature ejaculation gone wrong, but we get a touching scene instead. Keita was speaking while sleeping where he’s fighting off a horde of crazy girls to save a button for his sisters. Aw, he loves his sisters. Aw, I’m fighting back my urge to puke!

The ending credits show us Keita entering high school and watch all the shenanigans of him with his harem of girls. One can only imagine what his high school years are going to be like. But since this series ended in 2010, that tale ends here. Now I haven’t picked up the manga publication and have no intention of doing that (this adaptation is enough for me). Seeing as the manga is still in serialization, maybe they’ll get into Keita’s high school life and quite possibly who he chooses to be with. Now does the OVA give us a glimpse of Keita in high school with Ako, Riko, Miharu, and the pervy teacher lady? Let’s take a look!

OVA: So the OVA series began in 2008, two years before the television series came to air. And it didn’t finish things until 2015. So basically, people waited a full year for each episode to come out. Normally I’d be pissed if I had to wait a full year for a continuation to a story. But for fuck’s sake, it’s Kiss x Sis, I want to fuck my little step-brother please! Nothing hard to remember there!

And because these are OVA’s, I expect this to be a lot more lewd compared to the television series. Meaning, expect to see nipples and ejaculation scenes! When viewing, yeah it’s a lot nastier than the television series, but no actual nipples. Every show is different with nipples showing, I guess! Also, they somehow toned down scenes where Keita is peed on. I didn’t think this was a sentence I ever needed to write, but here we are! One thing I noticed is that the first half of the OVA set mostly featured Keita and his sisters. All the other characters really didn’t show up until the 6th episode. What’s more, after episode 5, they show Keita in high school with his sisters. So I guess we do get to see Keita in high school here. But let’s not give this show the benefit of the doubt. It’s still full of panty shots, piss shots, kissing, heavy petting, erotic scenes, and 95% more boners from Keita. I will say that Keita seems more willing to go along with whatever sexual act his sisters put him through than in the television series.

The final episode wasn’t really a conclusion and we don’t really know who Keita’s going to end up with. So I guess it’s up to our imagination if he ends up with his step-sister, his other step-sister, the underaged Lolita, Boobs McGee, or a horny teacher with a samurai fetish. Instead, we get an episode of getting drunk off some tapioca wine, ball sucking that leads to tit and clit sucking, a very weird scene where Keita puts 10 bandaids on his sister’s box, and other disgusting acts of debachary.

Before you ask, no I disliked this anime. Just…no!

I do admire their creativity when the sisters are sexually curious. I mean we were all at that age where we get sexually curious. I’m not into the incest storylines. If that’s your thing, fine with me, I don’t and can’t judge anyone on that!

Thankfully, no one has licensed this anime. That should be a clear sign that you avoid Kiss x Sis like the plague!

Thank God that’s over! What’s my next anime that’s unlicensed/license limbo?

To Heart.

This shit wasn’t an incest show, was it? No?! Okay, I’ll take it!

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 24: Bold Bonding Between Brothers

New entry of the “Aspects & Fanfics”, the first one of the year 2020. I hope you enjoy it, and also the new ship that is gonna be featured from now one, starting from the end card in this episode. New year, new ship. I’m not going to say much more and leave you with the story, which as the title suggests will be focused in the relationship between Roman and Remus. I don’t think there’s any need for any kind of label. It’s the normal relation between two brothers that sometimes they love each other and sometimes they hate each other, sometimes both at the same time. The normal siblings relationship, that is.

As usual, if you want to read previous entries of the story, as well as seeing past posts from this vlog, you can find them right here. And I hope you enjoy it. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: Thomas is entering a literary contest where they ask for scripts for a feature film. The winner will get his script made by a legendary director. The problem is that the asked genre is horror, and Roman is not an expert on the matter, which will make him call Remus for help. But will they be able to work together or will the differences and Remus’ fear make it all blow away?

WARNINGS: Horror is mentioned throughout the story, including some disturbing scenes mentioned by Remus. Romantic Prinxiety is featured as usual but (spoilers) also romantic Logicality will make an entrance in the end card.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas is in front of the camera with his New Year hat on and a cup of champagne on his hand]

THOMAS: [singing to the tune of “Auld Lang Syne”]

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and old lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne…

[yelling with a wide smile, rising his cup] Happy new year! [he suddenly goes serious as if he was listening to someone] Wait, what do you mean we’re already way into the New Year? [smiling bashfully] Wow… Some parties really go wild, don’t they? [a little concerned] But it’s still 2020, right…? And what are you still doing in my house? The party’s over now! Get out! Shoo, shoo!

[intro sequence]

THOMAS: What is up, everybody!? You see, this morning a friend of mine told me about something that could be fun. It is a contest, a script-writing contest. The winner gets to have his script filmed by prestigious director Steven Spielstokes, director of “Indiana Picani and the Last Cartoon Therapy”! It is a unique opportunity!

ROMAN: [rising up, excited] It is, Thomas! I can’t wait to start on this project!

THOMAS: Right!? I’m pumped up!

ROMAN: Me too! This is the chance you’ve been waiting for! You’ll be able to join the elite of so many prestigious scriptwriters that preceded you. And the Oscar awaits you, Thomas, all shiny and golden and…

LOGAN: [rising up] We get it, Roman. There’s no need to exaggerate. Besides, don’t put your hopes too high before time is due. There will surely be thousands of contestants trying their luck and many of them will be as talented as Thomas or more. We can be the winners, but we must be ready to accept defeat if it comes.

ROMAN: Ugh… here comes professor Wet Necktie, always spoiling the fun…

THOMAS: Roman, nicknames…

ROMAN: Sorry, Logan. And getting back into the stuff that really matters in this conversation, what are the rules? I need to know the limitations I shall have to place into my work, to start planning and all that stuff…

THOMAS: Um, yes… I read them just a couple of minutes ago. It has to be a script of a feature length, between 60 and 80 minutes, written in standard script format, and the topic is…

ROMAN: Romance? Fantasy? Musical? Adventures?

THOMAS: …horror.

ROMAN: [suddenly serious] What? Horror!? [looking at Logan] Well, I hope you’re proud of yourself, Logan. You jinxed it all with your talking about accepting defeat. I know nothing about the horror genre! That’s not my department!

THOMAS: I was afraid of that, never better said. I never made any true horror story, so I didn’t know how well you could perform in this genre. So, I let the contest slide, right?

ROMAN: No, no yet, Thomas. There’s always a first time for everything. If I have to write… [face of disgust] horror, then horror it will be. [smirks] Besides, I’ve got an ace under my sleeve, the best consultant I could ever ask for: my husband.

LOGAN: That’s absurd, Roman, Virgil doesn’t fit into your sleeve.

ROMAN: [singsongy voice] Virg-i-i-i-l!

VIRGIL: [rises up] Please, would you mind not calling me like that again? It makes me feel like a dog called by his owner.

ROMAN: That’s why I call you like that, my cute little puppy!

VIRGIL: And don’t call me like that, please… not in front of the others, at least.

THOMAS: I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear that.

LOGAN: Agreed…

VIRGIL: So what do you want, Roman?

ROMAN: I’m glad that you ask, Virge. I need your help. I have to write a horror story and…

VIRGIL: You do understand that, even if I look like a creepy dark emo, creativity, creepy or otherwise, is not my department, right Ro?

THOMAS: [low voice] …Ro?

VIRGIL: I’d love to be able to help you, but other than with brief inspirations based on Thomas’ real anxious experiences, there’s not much I can do for you. And you don’t want me to make Thomas go through a hell of anxiety to give you story ideas, right?

ROMAN: Well…

THOMAS: [firm voice] No, Roman, you don’t!

ROMAN: [sighs] Fine… Then I don’t know what to do.

VIRGIL: Well, you could ask another Side for help. Another Side that could be really well versed on the matter.

[as he names each one of them, the Sides rise up one by one, not knowing how they got there as if summoned against their will]

ROMAN: Well, Patton wouldn’t be of help. Last time I read him Little Red Riding Hood he got so scared he slept for two weeks with a bottle of purgative in his pajama pocket to use it if some Big Bad Wolf swallowed him while he slumbered, to make him throw up. Deceit… I don’t know. He has trouble remembering lines. He’d forget everything he’s given me and it would be a really incoherent story. Honesty… he is out of the question. He’s too attached to reality to create a work of fiction. He couldn’t even make a single change to his room from the real living room. How could he create a simple story? Logan… he would be great for a horror poem, but people don’t speak in verses unless it is a period stage show. This is a script where characters are not supposed to speak in rhymes, I don’t think he could be good on that either.

LOGAN: I’m here, listening to you belittling me, in case you didn’t notice.

PATTON: What is going on here, kiddos?

LOGAN: Thomas has to write a horror story and Roman’s considering his options for assistance.

PATTON: [unsettled] Ho… horror? What am I doing here, then? I don’t like horror stories.

ROMAN: [to Virgil] See?

HONESTY: It’s okay, Patton, it’s fiction. It’s not real and it can’t hurt you.

DECEIT: [creepy voice] Unless…

[Patton gets scared and Honesty goes to comfort him]

HONESTY: Dee, stop pestering the child!

DECEIT: Sorry, Patton, I was kidding… unless…

[Honesty looks at Deceit with a murderous glance as Patton whines on Honesty’s shoulder and grabs him, terribly scared]

ROMAN: You see how my judgments on each Side were on point? So, as I was saying, I don’t know what Side you really mean, Virgil.

VIRGIL: [beat] You’ve left out the Side I really meant on purpose, right?

ROMAN: [sighs] Yes.

DECEIT: But why? He’s your brother, Roman. They say that the best working relationships, especially in creative works, are the ones composed of siblings. Why not giving him a chance?

ROMAN: For ordinary siblings, maybe, but we’re not ordinary siblings, Dee. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean I don’t want to work with him. I’d love for us to be able to create something together. It’s just I don’t know how I could work with Remus. We’re so different in terms of creativity. I don’t like anything he comes up with and he doesn’t like anything I come up with. And also, I may be a little extra…

LOGAN: A little?

ROMAN: [frowning at Logan] …but in spite of that, I create my works methodically and seriously. And Remus seems to be so chaotic in everything he does. It would be a hell of a working environment.

VIRGIL: And yet, him being the part that takes care of Thomas’ dark creativity, he’s the best Side for the job. You know it, Roman. You need to call him.

ROMAN: Maybe he doesn’t want to work on this.

VIRGIL: You won’t know if you don’t ask him. Call him.

ROMAN: [sighs] Okay… I hope I don’t regret this… Remus! If you hear me, come quick! I need you here!

REMUS: [suddenly appearing with his usual grin, next to Roman, who flinches at his sudden appearance] Wow, Roman, this is new! You are summoning me? You really must be desperate for something, am I right?

ROMAN: Well, I really am, to be honest.

REMUS: Well, what is it? How can this crazy little brother help his fluffy big brother?

ROMAN: I’m not fluffy!

REMUS: Yes, you are. You’ve gained a little weight on your buttocks since the last time we met, bro.

ROMAN: [briefly scared, trying to look at his own buttocks] What!? Really!? [suddenly returning to his previous attitude] Whatever, that doesn’t matter right now. What do you know about horror?

REMUS: [pumped up] Horror? I love horror stories! There are so many ideas I have written in the last few years! Why do you ask?

ROMAN: Well, Thomas needs to write a horror story and…

REMUS: And you have no idea where to start, right? Of course you don’t, all the horrifying creativity stayed with me after the split. But don’t worry, bro, Remus is here to save your butthole!

THOMAS: If only he could avoid using that word in one of every two sentences…

REMUS: What word, “butthole”? It’s not true that I use “butthole” all the time! I used “buttocks” earlier!

[Thomas sighs in frustration]

REMUS: So, what are you thinking on, Thomas?

THOMAS: Well, as I told Roman, this is for a script writing contest, so it has to be a script, of feature length, and the theme is horror.

REMUS: Any specifics? Horror is a broad term, there are so many things we could put into the story.

THOMAS: No, no specifics. Just horror. But I don’t want anything that would be too gruesome or too extreme. [pointing at Patton] Not in front of the kids.

[Patton is wearing headphones and smiles while humming a song. Honesty is with him]

HONESTY: It’s okay, I got it with Patton. He’s distracted with the Spongebob camp song and will be okay… as long as his phone battery lasts, that is.

REMUS: [looking at Patton, then at Roman] And you’re telling me that you didn’t go crazy like me after having to cope with this kind of shenanigans all day? Okay, let’s get cracking. [he cracks his hands while saying this, making Thomas grimace] I would personally go for gruesome, because that’s the most horrifying and fun, but if you say you don’t want too gruesome, let’s stick with that. You’re the master after all, the Light Master to be exact.

ROMAN: Okay, I had thought about the story taking place in a castle…

REMUS: Boring.

ROMAN: You didn’t let me start explaining the story and you already find it boring?

REMUS: Sorry, Rommie, but a horror story taking place in a castle? That’s too cliche. Besides, there’s nothing so special with castles. Believe me, I know.

ROMAN: If you’re saying that with your own castle in mind, our experience on that castle suggests otherwise, I’m just saying.

REMUS: Oh, please, Roman, what I made you go through were just little fancy games. If those silly antics upset you, you should see the castle’s west wing on the way to my chamber of secrets next to my bedroom.

DECEIT: Why does that “chamber of secrets” thing make me shiver in disgust even though I don’t really know what’s in there?

REMUS: Oh, I call it like that for the Harry Potter book, but I’d never have secrets with you, Slimy Boi. If you want to know what’s in there, I have…

ROMAN: Remus, we have work to do, remember? If you really call yourself creativity, please behave like it and start creating.

REMUS: [shrugs] Okay, it’s your loss, anyway. I enjoy myself there all the time.

ROMAN: [sighs] So, you don’t like the castle as a horror topic. Then, what do you suggest?

REMUS: Well, my suggestion is to place horror where ever the viewer would less suspect to find it. This way, throwing it unexpectedly to him would make a bigger impact on them, don’t you think? For instance… a children’s playground in a park, in broad daylight.

THOMAS: It doesn’t look very easy to find something horrifying in a setting like that…

REMUS: That’s what makes it more challenging, Thomas. Imagine this. An invisible creature, some kind of abomination from an antediluvian era, which has been asleep for uncountable centuries, suddenly wakes up and rises to the surface, in the middle of the playground, and it starts snatching kids and… well you said you didn’t want gruesome details… [pumped up] I don’t care, I want to say this! It starts eating them alive in front of their horrified parents! Ugh… I’m so good…

THOMAS: [ironic] Thank you for omitting the gruesome details, Remus.

ROMAN: Couldn’t we use a story where kids don’t have to die?

REMUS: Yeah, we could, but it wouldn’t be as fun.

THOMAS: Roman is right, I have a reputation of working for young audiences. Suddenly releasing something as gory as that, it could damage future working opportunities for me.

REMUS: Said the guy who played J.D. from Heathers, a character who tried to blow up a whole school after murdering several students. You played that character five years ago, and your career survived afterwards. I don’t know how since you never made anything special at all, but it did.

THOMAS: That’s different, I’m an actor, I need to work on all kinds of roles to grow as a performer, and I took care of warning my viewers beforehand of the kind of show that was Heathers. But creating something from scratch, it makes you deeply involved into it. My regular audience would want to watch it and it could create a bad image of me.

REMUS: And what does prevent you from warning your viewers again? I mean, to me, it’s nothing so bad, but if you think it would be traumatizing for your audience, that could work.

LOGAN: I never thought I would ever say this, but I agree with Remus. What you did with Heathers, you can do the same with any type of creative work, Thomas. You can create anything you want and, as long as you keep everybody aware of the type of content you’ve created and that content doesn’t go against any law, you and your viewers will be fine. A creator should be allowed to evolve. They’re not forced to stick with a limited type of works for the rest of their career. You can create adult content whenever you want as long as you label it appropriately.

THOMAS: Okay, you two may have a point. But still, I don’t want children to die in my story. I want to make something I personally like, and I wouldn’t like that. It’s a question of taste, if you like.

REMUS: [groans] More like Patton’s taste, I think… No, Thomas, I don’t like it, but if that’s your final word, so be it. Let’s look for something else.

ROMAN: How about a mansion with a group of people whose members start disappearing one by one and the others get scared about who’s making them disappear?

REMUS: Roman, please, try to be original. That story has been told millions of times. “The House that Screamed”, “House on Haunted Hill”, “Maniac Mansion”… And besides, it’s not even horror, it’s the typical whodunit flick, like one of those boring Agatha Christie’s novels, where only one person dies and the rest of the time it’s just the others, or a pompous detective, going in circles to find the murderer. I mean, if I killed someone, I wouldn’t hide it, I wouldn’t mind the consequences at all.

LOGAN: [offended] Hey, take it easy! Do not besmirch Dame Agatha Christie’s – may she rest in peace – name in my presence! However, you’re right on the rest of your sentence, Remus, except the part of you murdering someone, of course. A whodunit, even though it can have some horrifying elements, is generally classified as part of the thriller or suspense genre. I don’t know if that’s exactly what the contest is asking for. They specifically ask for “horror”.

THOMAS: Yeah, that’s right.

VIRGIL: Is no one going to acknowledge that, out of the three examples Remus named, two were actual horror flicks? I know, I watched them.

REMUS: My advice is that, instead of making people disappear, we see the creatures who are snatching them in all their gruesome detail, with their sharp teeth, their red eyes, their sticky tentacles. I love tentacles, personal preference. Did I mention “Day of the Tentacle” is my favorite video game?

ROMAN: Why do you have to use gruesome creatures? Not every horror story has to be gory, in case you didn’t know.

REMUS: I know, Roman, but designing these creatures gives me more space to develop my creativity. Humanoid dangers are too dull for my taste.

ROMAN: [groans in frustration] Ugh… It’s just as I feared.

REMUS: What?

ROMAN: You and I are like water and oil, Remus. We’ll never mix well. It’s like we’ll never agree on anything at all.

REMUS: Bullsh… [bleep] , Roman. You’re just not trying hard enough.

ROMAN: I’m not trying hard enough? I’m the one pitching all the ideas and you’re the one twisting them, as you always do!

REMUS: Well, if you brought up some interesting input, then I wouldn’t have to fix anything!

ROMAN: If everything you’re gonna do is fixing my works, then I don’t want you nearby!

[Remus shows a face of utter offense and hurt]

THOMAS: Guys…

REMUS: You don’t want me nearby? What do you mean by that?

ROMAN: I mean exactly what you think I mean! Get away from me and let me work in peace!

THOMAS: Guys, please…

REMUS: So, the cat’s out of the bag at last. You recognize that you don’t want me in your life, right!?

ROMAN: [suddenly confused] Wait, what? I…

REMUS: I’m glad that you admit that! At least this time, you’ve been honest and didn’t trick me into jumping on a boat to leave me on a lost island!

ROMAN: [stuttering, not understanding anything] Wait… what is going on here? I…

REMUS: Don’t worry, bro! I’m not gonna make it difficult for you! You can go on living your perfect dreamlike life however you want, and I’ll return back to my crazy lonely life as I’ve always been! Don’t think I will suffer over losing you! I’ve lived 20 years all alone and I can live like that again whenever I want! Despite what your self-aggrandizing ego suggests you, you’re not so important, [mocking voice] your majesty!

[after saying this, Remus sinks down. Everyone stays quiet and confused for a couple of seconds]

THOMAS: What… has just happened here?

ROMAN: I wish I knew, Thomas. I thought we were having a creative discussion. I don’t know where that came from… Did I… Did I do or say something wrong? You guys sometimes call me out for not being nice when I didn’t even realize I wasn’t…

DECEIT: It’s okay, Roman. It’s not your fault. Or Remus’ fault either.

ROMAN: Dee, do you know anything about this that I don’t?

DECEIT: As a matter of fact, I do, but you should talk it out with Remus yourself. This is something between him and you that you two should fix.

ROMAN: Fix? Up to this point, I didn’t even realize there was something broken between us at all. I thought we had fixed all our disagreements these past few weeks. If you know something, please, tell me, cause I’m totally confused.

DECEIT: Okay, I’ll tell you. It’s because you’ve turned back into a Light Side.

ROMAN: What? But I thought that would be a cause of joy for him, not of anger. Now I’m more confused than before…

DECEIT: Of course he’s happy for you, Roman. But he’s also… scared.

ROMAN: Scared? Of what?

DECEIT: He thinks that you bonded with him because you were a Dark Side and had no choice but to get closer to him or being completely lonely. Now that you’re a Light Side and back with us, he thinks you’re not gonna need him anymore and he’s scared to death of losing you again.

ROMAN: But… that’s nonsense. I wouldn’t do that. My feelings for him remain the same. He’s my brother, I wouldn’t dump him out.

DECEIT: That’s what I tried to tell him the other day, to ease his concern. But I guess it didn’t work. It seems that Remus, the embodiment of intrusive thoughts, also has intrusive thoughts of his own torturing him and that thought of you hating him must be recurrent for him. Perhaps if you told him yourself… He would believe it more easily if he heard it from your own lips and your own heart.

ROMAN: I mean… it’s my own fault that he has that thought on a regular basis. After all, I did leave him behind once… but I’m not the same I used to be back then and my feelings for him are not the same as they were either. Of course I’ll go tell him. He’ll probably be in his room, right? I’ll go see him.

THOMAS: Roman, I don’t want to intrude or anything, but if you go, could we use your orb to check that everything’s going okay? I will be terribly worried otherwise.

ROMAN: Okay, seems fair. Remus doesn’t have secrets of any kind, anyway. Or so I thought. Can’t believe he talked about this first to Deceit instead of directly to me.

DECEIT: Don’t worry about that. You know when someone needs to vent, the last person they do it with is the person with whom they have the problem.

ROMAN: You’re right, I guess… [pulls out the orb and gives it to Thomas] Okay, I’ll let you watch, but if things get too personal, I’ll switch it off, okay? [sinking down] See ya in a moment, guys.

PATTON: I really hope he can make amends with him, even if I don’t like Remus’ ideas very much, it’s Roman’s brother. And today’s task is a proof that Thomas needs him just like any other of us.

HONESTY: What? I thought you were listening to your headphones, Patton…

PATTON: Oh, I switched them off long ago.

HONESTY: And the subjects they were talking about didn’t scare you?

PATTON: A bit, but with you next to me as you were, I was less afraid. I can cope with horror as long as I have my friends supporting me.

HONESTY: [flattered and emotional] Awww!

VIRGIL: [smirks] My dad is the pure incarnation of cuteness, he can’t help it.

THOMAS: Guys, the orb is turning on. Let’s see how they’re doing.

[The guys watch the orb. Roman rises up in Remus’ room. He’s nowhere to be seen]

ROMAN: Remus? Remus, where are you? [waits for a couple of seconds] I know you’re here, Remus. Stop hiding. I just want to talk to you.

[Remus pops up, serious]

REMUS: And I just want you to leave me alone, Roman. Is that so hard to ask for?

ROMAN: Not until we have talked this out, Remus.

REMUS: There’s nothing to talk about, Roman. You made it very clear in the living room. You don’t want me with you.

ROMAN: I didn’t say that!

REMUS: Yes, you did! I am a nuisance for you and you don’t want me nearby! You said it!

ROMAN: You misinterpreted me, Remus. It’s true that our working routine is too… bumpy. And I admit that it’s too hard for me to work with you because we’re too different. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to try to make it work out. I was talking out of frustration, I didn’t mean it! And I was only talking about our work, not about our life!

REMUS: Yeah, right. Do you really expect me to believe you? You’re not the most trustworthy individual in the world. I suffered the consequences of your tricks once and I’m not buying them again. I’ll break ties with you and go back to my castle alone before you decide to send me to the trash can again. I don’t want to be abandoned again. I don’t know if I could take it, and I’m scared to death to find out.

ROMAN: Brother, you’re wrong. And me using the word “brother” should already be giving you an indication. I told you many times already. You are my brother. I don’t want you out of my life again and I will never abandon you again. That Roman that hurt you so bad years ago is long gone. I have changed. I promise I’m saying the truth. I already told you these past few weeks and I really meant it.

REMUS: Bullsh… [bleep] You said all of that these past few weeks because you were stuck as a Dark Side and wanted someone to distract you from your boredom. I just happened to be the only one available, an amusement to keep you entertained and distracted from the memories of the people you really wanted to be with. Now that you have those people that you really care for back in your life, you don’t need me anymore. That’s a fact.

ROMAN: No, Remus, that’s a falsehood, as Logan would say. Yes, I missed my friends and I do care about them, but I also care about you. As I also told you, it scared me to get closer to you at first because I feared your rejection. Do you think I would care about that if I didn’t really care about you?

REMUS: Who knows? As far as I know, you’re just as dramatic as I am and you could have been overreacting in regards to that just because. After all, I don’t really know you that much. You didn’t let me, remember? And you don’t get to truly know someone in a few days.

ROMAN: Well, I want to fix that. I want you to know me and I want to know you.

REMUS: I…

ROMAN: Don’t you see that, out of fear of being dumped out, you’re the one who’s in fact dumping me out and that you are forcing to happen what right now is only happening in your mind? Please, don’t do that. It would really hurt me if you do that. And I know it would hurt yourself too, and I don’t want you to get hurt.

REMUS: I don’t want you to get hurt either, and of course I don’t want it to happen. It’s just that… [his voice starts breaking and his eyes fill with tears] I’m so scared… I love you. I’ve always loved you and I’m so scared of losing you again.

ROMAN: Then don’t make that happen for real, Remus, because I love you too, and I’m never gonna leave you again. Let’s be brothers once and for all.

[Roman hugs Remus. Remus hugs Roman back and starts sobbing on his shoulder]

REMUS. I’m sorry, Roman. I’m sorry…

ROMAN: It’s okay… brother. I’m sorry too. Calm down, okay?

[Roman looks right at the camera from the orb with a gesture of apologize, and the orb turns off]

LOGAN: Well, I guess Roman wants some moments of privacy now.

THOMAS: I understand. I’m relieved, though, to see that at least they’re fixing things up. But now, what are we going to do with the contest? I can’t create any horror without Roman and Remus. So what are we going to…

[Suddenly, Romulus rises up in Roman’s place by surprise]

THOMAS: [scared] What!? Romulus!? You’re back? What is going on here!?

ROMAN: It’s okay, Thomas. It’s me, Roman. The original Roman before Remus and I split up.

THOMAS: [frowns] Suspicious… I don’t know if I should trust you. Maybe I should break you up like the last time, just in case…

ROMAN: [scared] Please, don’t do that, Thomas, don’t force us to split again. Last time, you turned me into a Dark Side. Next time, I may not live to see another day.

DECEIT: I think he’s saying the truth, Thomas.

THOMAS: Are you sure, Dee?

DECEIT: You know I can catch a liar from miles away, Thomas, and he’s not lying. It’s Roman.

ROMAN: Thank you, Dee.

THOMAS: Okay, if you say so, Deceit. Well, what happened, Roman?

ROMAN: I’m not entirely sure. When we were hugging, I felt a heartwarming sensation, and suddenly Remus joined into me. And here I am.

THOMAS: It’s weird. I thought you couldn’t join together again, and the result certainly has been a lot different from the last time when that hideous Romulus almost replaced both of you.

LOGAN: I’ve got a theory. Maybe working out your issues has had a beneficial effect, Roman. The last time, you joined because of your mutual unhealthy dependence of each other and the result was a distorted and unstable fusion that eventually became Romulus. Then you lost your capacity of fusion because of the trauma of the abrupt separation, and later, when you recovered, Remus’ fears could have acted as a hindering block, figuratively like one of those deadlock seals from Doctor Who that the sonic screwdriver couldn’t unlock. Now, all hinders are gone and, most importantly, the fusion has been born from your love for each other instead of any kind of dependence, and as such the original Roman came out as a result and not the corrupt Romulus.

PATTON: It’s what I always say, then. Love fixes everything.

THOMAS: But are you sure you’re gonna be okay, Roman? And what about Remus?

ROMAN: That’s worrying me a bit too, Thomas. Logan, now that you’ve mentioned Doctor Who, and since you are our own Doctor on this team…

LOGAN: That’s the biggest compliment you’ve ever given me, Roman, thank you.

ROMAN: …would you mind doing me a medical checkup, please, just to be sure?

LOGAN: Not at all, Roman. Allons-y!

THOMAS: I hope he doesn’t pull out a sonic screwdriver… That would be cool but this is serious business…

PATTON: [happily] Since Logan is the Doctor, can I be his companion, please!?

[Logan blushes for a second, then he clears his throat, approaches Roman and puts his hand on Roman’s chest. Logan starts shaking for a few seconds, then takes his hand off and goes back to his place]

LOGAN: As far as I know, Roman. You’re totally fine. Your form is stable, you’re still a Light Side and if you wanted, you could stay like this permanently. It’s your natural state as you were born, so that shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.

ROMAN: …but? Because I sense you’re gonna say “but”.

LOGAN: But… if you stay like this for more than a couple of hours a day, Remus will disappear and become part of you, making the fusion irreversible. Also your traditional form as Roman would disappear forever. You’d be stuck as you are right now forever. No more Netflix-Kids-and-Family-Roman. And before you mention it, Thomas, the intrusive thoughts would still be there, only that they would be served by Roman, whether he likes it or not.

ROMAN: No, I don’t like that. And I don’t want my brother gone now that we made amends. But couldn’t I force the split like I did 20 years ago when Remus was born?

LOGAN: You may try, but I doubt it would work now, and besides, some different Sides would appear as a result. It wouldn’t be the same Remus as we know him, and we don’t know how much of the Roman we know would be left. It’s too big of a risk.

ROMAN: You’re right. I’ll split up soon. But first, I think we could take this chance to help Thomas with his contest. In my full form I get all kinds of great ideas for a horror flick.

THOMAS: That sounds cool, if we do it quick. I don’t want you two to get into any risks because of me.

ROMAN: Of course. You said we had around two hours, right? Then let’s get to work right now.

THOMAS: Okay. [to the viewers] Well, we’ve got a lot of work to do and very little time, so, until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals. Peace out!

[end card]

[Logan is in his room. Patton rises up]

PATTON: Hi, Logan.

LOGAN: Oh, hello, Patton. How are you?

PATTON: I’m fine. Roman and Thomas are still working on their horror story, so I stepped out.

LOGAN: Yeah, fiction is not my department, so I decided to dedicate some time to catch up on some books I’ve had for some time.

PATTON: Oh, I see you’re reading Roman’s story, the one he gave you for your Secret Santa two years ago.

LOGAN: Yeah, please don’t tell him it took me so long to read it. I’d say I didn’t have a free second to read it until now, and as a matter of fact, I’ve been busy all this time because Thomas has been busy all this time. But, to be honest, I forgot about it until Remus mentioned Agatha Christie in our debate earlier and I remembered Roman wrote me a Sherlock Holmes mystery story just for me that I still hadn’t read. Roman would be really offended if he found out and I don’t want to hurt him.

PATTON: It’s okay, Logan. You always had the intention of reading it someday and that’s what matters. And what do you think about it so far?

LOGAN: The story is very good. Roman really knows me well and what I like most of a fictional story. I’m enjoying it very much. It’s too bad I didn’t read it sooner. I wish he makes me more presents like this in years to come.

PATTON: I’m glad that you mention presents, because… I came here because I have a present for you.

LOGAN: [closing the book] A present? For me? But why? Christmas is long over and my birthday is many months from now.

PATTON: Just because, Logan, like when you gave me this cat hoodie as a present. There was no reason, other than how much we love each other. [pulling out a wrapped box] Platonically, of course.

LOGAN: [blushes] Of course… And what is it?

PATTON: Open it and you’ll find out.

[Patton gives Logan the box. He opens it and takes out the content]

LOGAN: Is this… a sonic screwdriver? Like the one used by the Ninth and Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who?

PATTON: Yep, I loved the idea of you as the Doctor and me as the companion, so I decided to give you this for the occasion. Do you like it?

LOGAN: Like it? It’s… fantastic! Thank you so much, Patton!

PATTON: You’re welcome. It makes me so happy that you like it, Logan.

LOGAN: Patton… I owe you an apology.

PATTON: What? An apology? For what?

LOGAN: For the treatment I have given to you in the past. I have consciously belittled your opinions so many times, and you never held it against me.

PATTON: Oh, don’t worry about that, Logan. I’ve always thought of it as you being grumpy, but I’ve always known you never really meant it.

LOGAN: How could you know that, Patton, when I didn’t know it myself?

PATTON: Well, when you’re an expert on feelings, you become aware of them. Feelings are not just about knowing them, Logan, it’s more about feeling them.

LOGAN: It has no logic… Of course it doesn’t, they’re feelings. Maybe that’s the reason I was such a… a jerk. I didn’t understand feelings, so I rejected them, and since you are the embodiment of Thomas’ feelings, I rejected you too. Will you please forgive me?

PATTON: There’s nothing to forgive, but if it will make you feel better, I forgive you, Logan.

LOGAN: Thank you, Patton, I… I…

[Logan looks at Patton, unable to speak. Before he knows how it happened, he approaches Patton and kisses him on the cheek, next to the corner of the mouth. Patton shows a face of surprise and shock, stroking his cheek where Logan kissed him. Logan gets nervous]

LOGAN: I… I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from, I…

PATTON: [with a cute smirk, he puts his finger on Logan's mouth to shut him up, then he looks at him with a loving glance] You certainly took your time to confess it, Teach. I love you too, Logan.

LOGAN: I didn’t conf… mmm...

[Logan shows a glance of shock when Patton starts kissing him on the lips, interrupting him mid sentence, then he just closes his eyes as he hugs Patton and kisses him back]

BSG 1x02 Water rewatch

ok, so the main plot of the episode is that Sharon is a Cylon sleeper agent, believing that she’s human. She blacks out and sabotages ship’s water resources. What really makes this episode work is her desperate denial of being responsible for the sabotage, despite all the evidence. She woke up all wet, with a stolen detonator in a bag, of course it was her!

Sharon confiding only in Tyrol puts him in a tough spot, as he balances between his loyalty to the ship and his love for her. Also, he provides her with the excuse that someone’s setting her up. They both don’t want to believe she’s capable of treason, even if all logic points in that direction.

What I found really admirable was her fighting the programming when she was ont he mission to find water. The programming made her report that she found nothing, but she must have realized something was wrong, that she blacked out again because she insisted on one more sweep and managed to break through the mental blockade she had. The human side of her won against the Cylon :)))

The other Sharon is interestingly the opposite of Boomer - she’s a Cylon pretending to be Boomer to get closer to Helo and possibly infiltrate the resistance on Caprica.

Sam Witwer’s character’s codename is Crashdown lol (too bad it’s not Starkiller).

Water is the title and main issue of the episode and it features prominently - while the Fleet is plagued by the shortage of water to the point of rioting, in Baltar’s dreamscape there’s a luxurious abundance of water, with Head Six bathing in a jaccuzzi and a nice view from a balcony on the lake. Also, Helo on Caprica is soaked to the bone in the torrential downpour. And Tigh measuring how much alcohol he’s got left in the bottle.

Apollo is still bothered by the destruction of Olympic Carrier. He thinks leaders should question themselves, to make sure their decisions are right. It’s interesting how he approaches first his father, who just tells him to move on and live with the consequences. “Leave the second-guessing to the historians”. That works for a grizzled old soldier but it doesn’t satisfy Lee. Then Roslin broaches the topic of Olympic Carrier with him, she offers him understanding and shares the feelings of guilt. Lee tries to act tough and parrots what his father said to him, but it doesn’t fly with her. Roslin tells him a story about president Adar and that leaders need to remember and learn from their mistakes even if they can’t admit to them publicly. And most importantly, she has a tangible proof that she’s doing this - the reminder note in her pocket. Roslin connected with Lee and put his mind to rest over this issue, which his father couldn’t do with his “man up” approach.

Most other shows just wouldn’t give a crap about the emotional aftermath of destroying an ally ship overtaken by an enemy or literally anything that should have an impact on the characters. BSG doing it in such a competent manner is like a breath of fresh air.

Roslin’s friendship with Lee is so nice. They just click :)

Also, Adama organizing a ceremony to make Roslin feel like a president??? And then he gives her a book as a gift? awww

Baltar gets Gaeta assigned to him to help with organizing “Cylon scanning” operation which is really bullshit. Gaeta is a fan of his and also dangerously competent. Baltar gets rid of him by entering a card game with Kara. Some light flirting occurs and I gotta give the man this - he is a smooth operator. Also, they bet with civilian clothing and drinks.

Funnily enough, Billy’s the opposite of Baltar in this episode, as he tries and miserably fails at flirting with Dee. But she seems to find him cute, so it’s not all bad.

Happy ending because they found the water, but it’s also sinister because that last shot of Sharon is her definitely overcome again by Cylon programming. The threat isn’t really gone.

Fan Review: Solo: A Star Wars Story

May contain minor/some spoilers after the cut.

I suspect that Solo: A Star Wars Story might be a bit like its title character. A bit rough at the start, maybe shady, pretty good-looking, and definitely out to get your money. But, as it goes on, it becomes more and more apparent how good and truly nostalgic and lovable it is.

This is a film that “nobody wanted.” Which means...what? I wanted it. When I saw Star Wars ANH, I wanted to know all about that cool Solo guy. And finally, 41 years later, I got my wish. And yeah… I’m mostly happy. After Last Jedi, I was pretty much done with the franchise, so it’s not like I went in with high hopes.

Solo is a relatively low stakes reprieve from the “we must save the world/galaxy/universe” all-or-nothing epic trope that has plagued us for the last few years. This is an adventure, a coming of age, and a western heist. Stakes are high, but only for the characters you are relating with onscreen, making it a curious addition to this year’s blockbusters.

Make no mistake; This is a love-letter to original trilogy Star Wars fans. It’s Han Solo in an Indiana Jones style adventure ( and what could be more fun than that).

4 out of 5 stars.

The first minute of Solo is exactly how a movie about the titular character should begin. But then it immediately lags, then even more so under ill-paced exposition. As soon Han goes solo though, it gains momentum. Then a short few minutes later as Woody Harrelson appears, things get rolling outright.

Alden Ehrenreich takes a bit of time to slide into Han’s scuffed boots, both onscreen and in our fan hearts. But when he does, it works wonderfully. He’s not the sexy gruff cynic Harrison Ford portrayed. No, he’s a “Kid,” who's got dreams. He’s a romantic. He’s wide-eyed, immature, and even petulant at times. But like Harrison’s portrayal, he’s arrogant, talented, goofy, jealous, easily embarrassed and will gladly spin a terrible lie. And oh yes… he can turn it on. Not at first, no… that’s really awkward ( more on that with Emilia). He’s not Harrison Ford by a long shot, but when given the chance later in the film, he makes a scene his own, and it’s HOT.

Unfortunately though, Alden is easily five inches shorter than 6’ 1” Harrison. And it’s glaringly obvious (especially to me, as I am quite a tall person). Sadly, Alden’s 1” platform 2”+ heel boots can only add so much. Otherwise, I’m satisfied with his portrayal. Alden’s a great actor, he had huge boots to fill, and I think he’s really been treated unfairly by the fans. Give the kid a chance, he might win you over.

Donald Glover IS Lando Calrissian though.  He’s sexy, sauve and even a bit silly ( in all the right ways… make no mistake).  I daresay Mr.Glover has taken Billy Dee William’s place in my heart as the epitome of Lando. Whether he’s coming on to Han, or Qi’ra or some unspecified alien species, he’s a pansexual on the level of Oberyn Martell from Game of Thrones. An arrogant playboy badass, who loves all the finest things. He is willing to enjoy everything life has to offer, and why not? It’s hard not to love him as a result. Lando movie, anyone?

Tobias Beckett is everything Han wants to be. Beckett is also in love with fellow crook Val, and his attachment to her is cemented firmly in a couple of scenes, which unlike the Han/Qi’ra scenes–have great chemistry. And Woody Harrelson’s portrayal of yet another grizzled mentor is stunning. I found him much more appealing than Harrelson’s equivalent character from Hunger Games. Though the mantel is starting to wear. Don’t get me wrong. I adore Woody Harrelson. His being in this film gave me a reason to think I might just like it. I’m just not sure I want to see him as yet another badass mentor after this.

When Thandie Newton appeared in Beloved back in 1998, I was an instant fan. I’d seen her before in a few other flicks, but she blew that one out of the water as the title character. Since then she had worked steadily in a number of critically acclaimed roles. I was absolutely thrilled to see her in this as Val. And utterly heartbroken that she was totally underused. When Val is onscreen, she overshadows everyone else, even Beckett. It’s a shame we don’t see more of her than we do. Boo!

Emilia Clarke as Qi’ra…Hmm.  She’s cute, charming, and tries her hand at swordplay here. But honestly, the Queen of Dragons is a poor fit. The original casting call was for anything other than yet another white brunette. And with amazing ladies like Tessa Thompson in the running, why oh why did we end up with Emilia? If not racism (God, I hope not); Ang’s answer: Think $$$, from Game of Thrones fans in theatre seats. I can think of no other reason. Her chemistry with Alden is tepid at best ( and any of that comes much, much later). I feel bad for Emilia here. I think she was miscast, and that tarnish will always stay with the fans. ( P.s. : the three adult heterosexual males I watched the movie with, were over-the-moon smitten with her. To each his own. I guess…)

On to the non-humans...

Joonas Suotamo as Chewbacca is physically brilliant. He’s stolen my heart as Chewie from the lovely Peter Mayhew (sorry Pete) over the last three movies. But honestly, we discover nothing new about Chewbacca in this. Zero. It’s rather unfortunate. I wish I could say more. But we learn more about Chewie in episode three than this. A missed opportunity. Sorry Chewie. For some reason Disney put your character in the doghouse here.

L3-37 is another definite weak spot in Solo. We have a snarky female droid (yay!) as a droid-rights advocate (cool!).  But it’s so completely overwrought. Only Lando’s constant eye rolls save this character from being as ridiculous as Jar Jar Binks. Which is another shame, because I felt she fills in the current canon equivalent of Lando’s copilot droid Vuffi Raa, from the EU/Legends novels from waaay back in the 1980’s, (interestingly they are both pilots, are both self-aware droids and have vaguely parallel fates) Some editing issues arise as far as L3′s character is concerned too. She’ll be leaning, casually watching,  while droids are being slaughtered in front of her, but only interferes with other robots later in the same scene? Why?? Were the first dead droids not good enough for her to save? It’s inconsistent, poor editing; and that really hurts the character. Sorry Phoebe Waller-Bridge, you did great job with what you had. I’m not sure that the script/editing was as good as you deserved.

The spaceship the Millennium Falcon is 100% a full character in this too. Without giving too much away, she represents her pilots as they sit at the helm. She’s treated with more respect - reverence even -  in this, than any other film. And I can say this is her movie as much as it is Han’s. Millennium Falcon fans, you are in for a treat!

And the bad guys...or one guy anyways....

Paul Bettany is chilling and utterly convincing as the gangster Dryden Vos. He also has much better chemistry with Qi’ra than Han.  I’m fairly certain this is mainly due to Paul’s astonishing acting ability.  He first came to my attention as the title character in the darkly funny UK crime film Gangster No.1. I was floored by him then and he’s still blowing me away, even as the rather challenging character Vision in the MCU. Bettany does not disappoint in Solo either. He took over this role with zero preparation, with the weight of replacing another respected actor at the last minute in an extremely troubled production. And the optics of having a white European actor taking over from an African-american are...ermm...not the best. He pulls it off, though. But I can’t help but wonder what Michael K Williams would have brought to the role. Vos is a soulless psychopath under Bettany, not unlike his character in Gangster No.1.  Would Williams have brought the tragic–almost romantic deep spirit and inner strength he brought to his gangster Chalky White in Boardwalk Empire to Vos instead? It’s rather sad we will never know.

I don’t think I can say much else about the other antagonist(s) without spoiling a bunch. But let’s just say...wow! Well done! Surprises and fan service all around!

There is something missing here too. We never see Han as an imperial pilot. Nor the promised Shakespeare-inspired comedic comic book characters that Ron Howard teased last fall.  These gems may be reserved for DVD releases, but I feel Han’s missing academy stint is definitely a gap in this story. And the movie lacks because of it.

Importantly, I do recommend seeing this in IMAX 2D as it is a very dark and muted film.

The usual amazing, special effects, costumes and sets we’ve come to expect from the Star Wars film franchise are all present here.  The styling is different from the previous films, as it takes place about halfway between Episode Three and Rogue One.  It’s neat to see the evolution of the Empire’s gear. 

And the easter eggs are everywhere; prequels, Rebels, Clone Wars, Star Tours ( the Disney Park ride), the comic books from the 1970′s and 80′s, the EU/Legends Han Solo novels by Brian Daley, the Lando Calrissian novels from the same era are especially referenced numerous times. Even the Indiana Jones franchise gets a significantly placed nod.

To say the least, the fan-service is strong with this one.

But not the Force. Not at all. None of that simple tricks and nonsense here at all.

Because I’m a pretty hard-core fan, I pre-bought two showings on initial release. The first time I saw Solo, I was unsure if I actually liked it, but it seemed to be a decent film.  The second viewing ( the same night) was an absolute joy. Times three and four were with different groups of adults, and they all had a blast. Five was with a group of 13 year old girls, and they all enjoyed it too.

So let’s call my rating of Solo then, 4 out of 5 stars. 

Honestly I don’t get the backlash against it.  Don’t take your Last Jedi hate out on this. It’s a fun ride with decent jokes and no space-boob-milk monsters—honest!

And if you think Solo offers nothing different, new, or imaginative. You are 99% correct...Remember, we got that full package of “different and innovative” in Last Jedi. If that’s your schtick, watch that one instead then.

Oh, and one more thing- that 1%?... two words:

Shower scene.

meta #7 // ‘you and i understand each other’ tw: childhood/sexual abuse, partial headcanon/speculation based, homophobic slurs, autism mention.

           The closest thing Mac has to a healthy bond is with Charlie, mainly stemming from the fact they’ve known each other since childhood and they therefore know more about each other than any of the other members of the gang. Since there’s a lot of ground to cover I’ll try and split the parts into periods of chronological age rather than of specific moments ( although they will have examples ). Some of this is speculation based, anything that is not followed by an episode number or ‘in one episode’ is headcanon surrounding other elements of the show. You’re welcome to ask but this won’t be expanded on in this meta.

Childhood:

            Mac and Charlie have known each other since they were children although there’s never a clear cut reason as to how they’d met or why. My speculation is that they met on some kind of playground. Since both their mothers are lax when it comes to their whereabouts / their actual safety, their early days could have consisted of a situation where Charlie attempt to run away from home only to end up on the bad side of Philly where he finds Mac. The two strike up a friendship and then they attend the same school etc. The only glimpse we see of Mac and Charlie as children is in the Christmas episode (S6E13). Where they spend the day throwing rocks at trains as their own special tradition. Without any money but a strong bond, Mac and Charlie pick out piles of rocks for each other as gifts. Charlie picks smooth rocks ( and chomps on the rough ones until they’re smooth because they hurt Mac’s hands ). Mac picks the misshapen ones because Charlie likes to make stories about them. The fact their parents allow both of them to spent time together on a very family orientated holiday shows the kind of family bond that they have. Regardless of the holiday/time, they always find time to share it with people they love - each other. As well as this, Charlie becomes the first person to actually buy Mac a gift, something that he always wanted, years later after finding out about the traditions he had as a child. Charlie, who is usually emotionally ignorant of most, shows an act of selflessness that’s arguably only present around Mac - this being one of those times.

                Charlie for a lot of reasons views Mac as safety, specifically regarding Charlie’s years of sexual abuse at the hands of his Uncle. The song ‘Nightman’ (S4E13) and the play itself tells a story of how Charlie perceives the events of the molestation from Uncle Jack, who is the Nightman ( he comes in the night and he touches the ‘baby boy’. Charlie’s Mom being a prostitute and potentially ‘selling’ Charlie - the troll - 'you gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boys hole' etc) . In the original script Charlie writes Mac as The Dayman who is regarded as the hero of the song, he protects the baby boy from the Nightman. This plays out until Dennis decides he wants to be the Dayman instead which Charlie gets angry about. As mentioned above he and Mac were together as children. My personal thought is that Mac used to stay over at Charlies and offered protection unknowingly, Uncle Jack couldn't have came into his room when Mac stayed over and therefore he kept the Nightman away. In the song, Charlie refers to the Dayman being someone who is a fighter of the Nightman, a friend for everyone and a master of karate. The last two are things are what Mac would define himself as. Mac is by far the easiest member of the gang to communicate with, he gets so excited about making ideas or talking to people because its in his nature and he also has a wild obsession with martial arts. Charlie especially had NO other friends as a kid, so to him Mac is the ultimate best friend and he would almost worship their friendship at that age because of how their mentality works. Charlie’s ability to extend himself to be like Mac (when Mac dances Charlie copies the dance moves (S6E2), when Mac is standing in a specific way Charlie will copy (S7E4), Charlie laughs at Mac’s jokes even when he doesn't understand him etc). Mac projects a lot of 'badassary' onto people and Charlie has no reason not to believe it. If Charlie can believe he's like the Dayman then he in turn can fight the Nightman, which in turn would make the abuse stop. Charlie then adopts the role of the Dayman at the end of the play which then allows him to move on with his life.

Teenagers:

                Mac and Charlie as teenagers used to canonically hang out and get high, they were then later joined by Dennis (S7E12). This didn’t just happen at school but also at Charlie’s house where they used to dwell in the basement. During this time they begin to grow into their own personalities and since they’re the only real comfort each other have, they probably talk about girls they like or what interests them. As this would have been in the 80s, it’s unlikely that Mac would confide in Charlie about his types of fantasies regarding men. Charlie who also has very toxic relationship with men ( Mac being the exception ) would most likely try to steer away from this kind of conversation. As two guys who are experiencing changes there is a possibility that they may have kissed a couple of times, if only to break their kissing virginity, but with how their relationship then develops it’s unlikely anything more came from it. Mac and Charlie also used to ‘wrestle’ together and gave each other ringworm which then spread to the whole team. As this would have been a pursuit of Mac, mostly because of how its regarded as a manly sport - but also to get closer to other guys - Charlie is the one that offers support, agreeing to help Mac home in the skills before practice. This kind of support also stems into adulthood both as a physical and emotional trait.

Adulthood:

             The close bond that Mac and Charlie have has grown from the above section and developed further as they reach adulthood. Dee and Dennis both go to college and these two are left alone again. They slowly become, at this point, the only people they can each rely on. They have a closer bond than Dee and Dennis, who arguably should be closer considering they’re related. The shows makes us aware of this by placing them as direct parallels to them (S7E7, S11E1). In the games especially they’re very supportive, often their cards involve team work like mending a broken bottle, their flag is composed from a joint imaginative idea rather than depicting themselves and during emotional battery, Mac tries to amp up Charlie not to cry. Dee and Dennis however are very competitive, they have to force themselves to team up (Dennis gluing his hand to Dee) all for the sake of winning. Mac and Charlie in this regard become a collective, two halves of a whole that’s a title that should only really be reserved for biological bonds. The show makes a good point here: You choose your family, which is what they regard themselves as.

           Mac will always have a soft spot for his parents, however, and while the other members of the gang don’t mention it, the relationship between them and Mac is toxic. Charlie however continuously goes with Mac to see his dad in prison (S2E10,S3E11,S10E7) for no other reason than to support him which often ends in terrible situations. Not only that but Charlie sits back and watches as Mac’s Dad rejects him, not telling him how much Mac’s Dad hates him from the lack of love in his voice. Pair this in direct contrast to how Dennis delivers the news regarding the letters he was hiding from Luther (S11E10) or how Charlie reacts to Dee mentioning that her mom used to call her the worst (S10E9). Charlie takes notice of Mac’s feelings whereas the other members don’t and Charlie does not offer this kind of support for any of the others. In the same way, Mac gives Charlie support in his ideas and in Charlie’s lack of understanding and mental capabilities (S8E1) regarding his Dyslexia. While there are times where they will argue or friction will occur, the two get over the arguments quickly and this isn’t brought up later.

           It’s normal for Charlie and Mac to be paired together, episodes that stem - but are not limited to (S1E1, S2E3, S3E9, S4E5, S4E10, S5E11, S6E5, S7E4, S8E1, S9E7, S10E1, S10E10, S11E8, S12E4). These schemes are often out of the blue, random and generally obnoxious. They are plans that nobody else wants to get involved in that the other’s can’t understand. Wheres most character dynamics have changed regarding canon ( Mac / Dennis. Dennis + Dee / Frank. Frank / Charlie etc ) these two have remained consistent in their support for each other. From S2 and them going to spend Frank’s money all the way to S12 where they catch a leprechaun. No matter the situation the two can usually convince each other to do what the other wants. It’s a mixture of their own head-space and complete trust in each other. Charlie, just as he did when he was a teenager, supports Mac in his pursuits and selflessly lends a hand (S6E4) without a want for anything. Whereas Dennis + Dee usually have motive to lend a hand, Mac and Charlie exist in a world where it’s very give and take (in relation to each other). There are times canon strays from this (S2E4) and Charlie manipulates Mac to get what he wants. However Mac is also capable of this (S3E5) where they will play on each other’s insecurities/weakness’ to get what they want. This, however, is nothing compared to what other members of the gang are willing to do to get what they want.

Insecurities:

              Mac’s big arc in Sunny is that he spends a long walk coming out of the closet. Charlie, for all his lack of understanding in everything, knows every part of Mac. It’s already fairly established that Charlie looks up to Mac, specifically when he mentions about not believing until Mac says something (S7E8, S8E10). Charlie can often misunderstand levels of humour in a situation (mostly due to his his PDA - a rare form of autism) and a strong example of this is in (S10E9). Mac tells the gang that there are two gay guys on board and Charlie responds with a ‘who’s the other guy’ laughing with the rest of the gang when Mac remains unimpressed. His intent isn’t to make Mac feel uncomfortable but to bring light to the situation at hand. In my own personal beliefs, I think somewhere between S10 and S12 Mac confides in Charlie regarding his sexuality. I believe this for two reasons. 1) Mac has confided in his insecurities with Charlie before (S8E1) when he informs the gang that Mac assess people with ocular pat downs because he’s insecure. Something Mac would never openly admit to to anybody else. His masculine pride won’t allow it - showing he trusts Charlie more than he trusts himself. 2) Charlie has expressed multiple times that he knows Mac is gay and Mac hasn’t been as offended as he is when Dennis or somebody else brings it up. (S8E8) Charlie states ‘whatever it is you’re into, men, women’ and Mac shrugs. (S12E4) ‘My friend has weird women issues’. Charlie never explicitly says it and for Mac that’s comforting, it’s the label that triggers him more than anything, especially since gay has such a negative connotation. Charlie was probably there as they were called faggot, gay boys because he was also part of it. These words demean and push away a place in the community, in the 80s being gay would take you out of the traditional family, you would be regarded as ‘other’. Mac has never had a real home, he comes from a broken family, he wants that anchor/security family provides. He strives for it, Charlie KNOWS this and does not push for Mac to come out.

               Mac has always had Charlie to rely on for his own thoughts/feelings because in a way they share a lot of them. Charlie to Mac is someone that won’t judge him and who will protect him ( emotionally and physically as shown (S8E5) when Charlie punches Dennis ). It’s then logical to assume that this is something he talks to Charlie about, at least in passing, before it actually happens. Charlie - with respect - then doesn’t use this as a form of manipulative abuse or to force Mac out of the closet before he’s ready. Mac on the other hand, helps Charlie without even realising it. Mac protected Charlie from Uncle Jack and by association Charlie sees Mac as safety, though he doesn’t always believe it (S10E9) ‘Your head of security just choked himself out’. This is again not mentioned to his face and Charlie doing things like, spraying Mac’s cologne on himself (S3E10) almost as a comfort when he’s uncomfortable position, shows Charlie as a very dedicated best friend/follower of Macs. 

            Mac and Charlie might not be the best kind of people but together they bring out a kind of love that people strive to find, it’s supportive and unconditional. They regard each other as family but more than that. They’re two pieces of a disjointed puzzle from very deprived families who have experienced unbelievable horrors as children/teenagers, they’ve grown up together and continued to remain dedicated to their friendship despite absolutely everything. For them home is not a place, it’s a person. Home offers a sense of safety and family - two things that they both want more than anything.

Top 10 Disney Disasters

#10. Renewing Pickle and Peanut: I acknowledge from a business stand point, if a show is popular, it should get another season. Pickle and Peanut, however, is not that popular. Not only have ratings declined since it’s premier, but less and less people are talking about it, and when they do it’s not positive. But apparently, no one at Disney Television give a shit as it’s been renewed for another season. If you thought less people were watching it by the end of Season 1, then no one is going to watch it at the start of Season 2.

#9. Giving up on John Carter: After being in development limbo for over 80 years (I’m not kidding, Hollywood’s been trying to get this character of the ground since the 30s), Disney finally gave John Carter his cinematic debut. Despite under performing at the box office and getting mixed reviews from critics, audiences were very accepting to it and wanted more. However, instead of let’s say attempting to make an animated show based on it like one of their other cult films (Tron) or having the character find new life in video game form, Disney just gave the film rights back to Edgar Rice Burroughs’ estate. Really? After decades of being stuck in development limbo, John Carter is just thrown back in? I know Disney lost money on the film, but they could’ve saved the character from falling into obscurity again by making a tv show. But, that’s reality I guess :/

#8. Ripping Off Ren and Stimpy: I’ve talked about this before, so I’ll keep it brief. Disney is a company that has made a name for themselves in pushing the boundaries of animation and story telling. So they should be more than ashamed of themselves for mooching off the success of their competition instead of making their own original show -.-

#7. Ending Wander Over Yonder: Just, why? About a year ago, Disney decided not to renew Wander Over Yonder. Why? Honestly, I don’t know. I know Craig McCracken said they “felt 2 seasons and 80 cartoons was enough,” but he never explained WHY they felt that. And no, it wasn’t because of the ratings nor was it because Disney didn’t like it. It really does baffle me how Phineas and Ferb got 4 seasons and 222 episodes before getting the axe (not bashing the show, I actually like it, I’m just trying to prove a point) and yet they felt Wander Over Yonder was just a 2 Season show and a 3rd would spoil it. What?!

#6. Canning Potentially Good Sequels: I know the direct-to-video sequels are notoriously unpopular, but that doesn’t mean they’re all without merit. Cinderella 3 told a fairly solid story and had some genuine stakes involved. Tarzan 2 you could argue is just filler, but kid Tarzan does go through a real character arc in this movie. And Return to Neverland is my personal favorite of the bunch and that’s mainly because of Jane. Disney Toons had plans for sequels to Dumbo, Chicken Little, Meet The Robinsons, and Pinocchio among others before John Lasseter shut them all down. I respect his dislike for these films, but I honestly believe some of them could have been more than just run of the mill. Like, more adventures with Pinocchio or The Robinsons; I actually wanted to see a Mulan 3 (Mulan 2 isn’t in my top 10 Disney sequels, but I don’t think it’s that bad). At the very least, these movies could’ve been decent with the right amount of effort, but like with Circle 7, John would like the rest of the world to pretend these ideas never happened.

#5. Bad Timing on Release Dates: Winnie The Pooh, Muppets Most Wanted, The Rescuers Down Under, The Rocketeer and Treasure Planet. You know what these movies have in common? They were all released at the worst times for their respected genres. I’m not a box office analyst (check out Grace Randolph for those statistics; yeah, yeah I know “she’s terrible” “kys” blah blah blah -.-), but last time I checked, you shouldn’t put something as innocent and family friendly as Winnie The Pooh up against something massive like Harrry Potter. Nor should you release a goofy family comedy like the Muppets in the spring if you expected similar results like its predecessor. Also, who’s idea was it to release one of, if not THE best Disney sequel the same week as Home Alone? I don’t know about you, but that’s not very smart if you ask me. Why? Really think about it; this was Disney’s first sequel and it’s set in the desert of Australia. They put in alot of effort to make this an improvement over it’s predecessor; from the animation, to the characters, to the story, even down to the humor. All that effort and yet they decided to release it around the holiday season, as opposed to, I don’t know-SUMMER?! I know no studio is perfect, but there should be no reason why they messed up these release dates so bad.

#4. Sitcom Overload: You know how many sitcom are on Disney Channel right now? 6. And they’re all about preteens or teens going through their everyday lives with wacky hijinks and some character bonding along the way. To be fair though, they are better than the Stupid Sitcoms on Nickelodeon, but the quality of them isn’t the problem. The problem is that there’s so many of them and not enough animation. Like I said earlier, Disney has made a name for themselves in pushing the boundaries of animation and storytelling. So, where on Earth is the animation on television? Answer: Disney XD. The reason why this is bothersome is because when people think of Disney, they think of the animated content first and the live action stuff after. Disney has made some good live action movies and tv shows for sure, but they’re not nearly as remembered as the ones that are animated. As such, the Disney Channel is generally regarded as the Disney Sitcom Channel. Yes, from a business standpoint, sitcoms are profitable, but too many sitcoms can damage you brand as an animation company and in a sense it has. Also, on a minor note, can we change Disney XD back to Toon Disney? I’ve honestly never understood the name change so can we turn it back? No? Worth a shot :/

#3. Controversial Jokes: I know comedy is subjective, but that doesn’t mean joke’s can’t cause an uproar if handled poorly. And boy were these handled in the worst way possible. Making a joke about models barely eating on paper, sounds exactly what you think it sounds like: a joke that inadvertedly sounds like an eating disorder joke. And it was. The joke was from an episode of Shake It Up and while that joke was removed, this wouldn’t be the last time Disney did something like this. Did you know Jessie has a character who eats a glutten free diet and they made an episode revolving around this? No? Because alot of angry parents saw that and Disney was forced to change it or risk getting doxed. Disney should really remind themselves that they can’t make light on topics like these as it does more harm than good. They didn’t joke around with racism, so eating disorders should obviously be a no no.

#2. Producing Dumb Ideas for Bad Movies: Mars Needs Moms, Alexander and the God Awful Title, The Santa Claus 3, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and Prom. All of them were terrible ideas made into equally terrible movies. Mars Needs Moms, from the title alone is their worst film, no contest. You know it’s bad when the title sounds like a 4 year old thought of this film. The plot is nonsense, the characters are awful, not even the animation does it any favors. This isn’t the first time I’ve ranted on this film, so let me explain the biggest problem with this movie: the concept. Why would an alien race need our human mothers to grow the species? They were doing just find before. Alexander, meanwhile, is based on a kids book. Wouldn’t be so bad if A. The title wasn’t stupid and B. The plot wasn’t a light version of Everybody Hates Chris. I’m aware The Santa Claus has its fans, so it wouldn’t be fair to put it on the list because of my hatred for the film. Objectively, however, The Santa Claus 3 should not have been made with the generic It’s a Wonderful Life plot. I don’t care if It’s a Wonderful Life is a classic, it should not be remade and retold over and over again. The other two were based on a joke or dare, I swear. Who was asking for a movie about going to the prom? And don’t people hate Lindsay Lohan? And drama queens? Especially if they’re teenagers? I’ll refer you back to my point at #s 4 and 8 because I hate repeating myself -.-

#1. Ignoring Song of the South: In the Tom and Jerry Highlight Collection, Whoopi Goldberg did an introduction explaining why the cartoons featured in the DVD included Mammy-Two Shoes despite her being criticized as a racist stereotype (I’m with BenTheLooney in that this criticism is bull: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl01VhWbC74). Whoopi said that taking her out of the DVD would be the same as pretending she didn’t exist. Don’t get me wrong, racial stereotyping is bad, but so is pretending films and cartoons involving black characters didn’t exist. Case in point, Song of the South, I feel, is one of Disney’s underappreciated films simply because of the portrayal of blacks in the Post-Civil War era. I get it, slaves were miserable after the war; that said, that’s not what the film’s about. Its about a boy living on a plantation who listens to the stories of Brer Rabbit, told by Uncle Remus. The film was last seen in theaters in 1986 and never received a home release in the U.S.. Bob Iger calls it “fairly offensive” and you can debate all you want, but not giving this movie a home release isn’t helping your case. That only makes people want to see it more. Whoopie Goldberg herself wants this movie to have a home release. Sure you can just bootleg it or watch it online, but if you were to own it on Blu-Ray, you could get some insight into the process of making this movie, a brief history of racial stereotyping in movies. They still play the Zip-a-dee-doo-dah song, and they put alot of effort to the theme park attraction. This movie should not be ignored because the company wants to stay family friendly. Families don’t keep things from each other, just saying.

Conclusion: I love Disney, just about everyone loves Disney; but they’re not perfect and to think otherwise would be foolish. Pointing out their flaws and criticizing their actions is the only way they can get better. I’m aware of the Marvel, Star Wars and Pixar problems, but I wanted to focus on Disney specifically. Know any other Disney slip-ups? Let me know in response to this post. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you soon.

New Releases 8/8/17

Happy New Release Day! This week we have a lot going on in books and a few movie/tv releases. 

In Books --The Epic Crush of Genie Lo by  by F.C. Yee  “The struggle to get into a top-tier college consumes sixteen-year old Genie Lo’s every waking thought. But when her sleepy Bay Area town comes under siege from hell-spawn straight out of Chinese folklore, her priorities are suddenly and forcefully rearranged. Her only guide to the demonic chaos breaking out around her is Quentin Sun, a beguiling, maddening new transfer student from overseas. Quentin assures Genie she is strong enough to fight these monsters, for she unknowingly harbors an inner power than can level the very gates of Heaven. Genie will have to dig deep within herself to summon the otherworldly strength that Quentin keeps talking about. But as she does, she finds the secret of her true nature is entwined with his, in a way she could never have imagined.”

I was drawn to this one because of the cover. It shows a girl doing a superhero landing (thank you Deadpool). It sounds like it could be pretty good.I actually got an arc of this book last week at work. I’m not sure when I’ll get to read it.

--The Hearts We Sold by Emily Lloyd-Jones “When Dee Moreno makes a deal with a demon - her heart in exchange for an escape from a disastrous home life - she finds the trade may have been more than she bargained for. And becoming “heartless” is only the beginning. What lies ahead is a nightmare far bigger, far more monstrous than anything she could have ever imagined. With reality turned on its head, Dee has only a group of other deal-making teens to keep her grounded, including the charming but secretive James Lancer. And as something grows between them amid an otherworldly ordeal, Dee begins to wonder: Can she give someone her heart when it’s no longer her’s to give?”

Based on some arc reviews I saw on Goodreads, it sounds like Dee and the others can get their hearts back by working for the demon they sold their hearts to. Although, it also sounded like some demons might take other body parts. Not really sure yet. It does bring up some questions. By selling your heart, are you selling your actual heart or is it more based on your feelings? If it’s feelings then how could she start to fall for someone? Unless you are able to break the deal yourself somehow. I also wonder what caused the other characters to sell their hearts.

--Legend of Korra: Turf Wars Part 1 by Michael Dante DiMartino, illustrated by Irene Koh “Relishing their newfound feelings for each other, Korra and Asami leave the Spirit World...but find nothing in Republic City but political hijinks and human vs. spirit conflict! A pompous developer plans to turn the new spirit portal into an amusement park, potentially severing an already tumultuous connection with the spirits. What’s more, the triads have realigned and are in a brutal all-out brawl a the city’s borders - where hundreds of evacuees have relocated! In order to get through it all, Korra and Asami vow to look out for each other - but first they’ve got to get better at being a team and a couple!”

This comic has been driving me crazy for a while now. I thought it was supposed to come out several months ago. But when I would check on it at work, it didn’t show up in our systems at all. Then when it did finally appear and I double-checked it with a few other sites, each site had a different release date. So I think this is the right date. But I am not 100% positive. Regardless, I am excited to dive back into the Avatar world. To see how Korra and Asami’s relationship is doing as well as what everyone else has been up to.

--Nirvana Volume 1 by Jina and Sayuki (ZOWLS), illustrated by Sayuki “Humanitarian-extraordinaire Yachiyo Hitose gets a once-in-a-lifetime chance to volunteer overseas - but things go awry when her plane goes down and she dies! When she wakes up, it’s not in heaven, but in a whole other world known as Gulgraf - the citizens of which think she’s their goddess reincarnate! Goddess or not, Gulgraf is beset by ravenous creatures known as the Blau and Yachiyo simply can’t turn her back on her new home.”

First heard about this series a few weeks ago. I really don’t know much about other than it being another travel to another world series. It sounds pretty good though and I like the art style on the cover.

--Paper Girls Volume 3 by Brian K. Vaughan, illustrated by Cliff Chiang “Erin, Mac and Tiffany finally reunite with their long-lost friend KJ in an unexpected new era, where the girls must uncover the secret origins of time travel...or risk never returning home to 1988.”

It’s been a while since I read the second so I can’t remember exactly what is going on at the beginning of this one. I would look it up but that would require moving at least five boxes of varying sizes to get to my comic book boxes. I remember there being a battle with a prehistoric creature and jumping into another portal to a new time at the end but to where I am not sure.

--Reborn Book 1 by Mark Millar with contributors Greg Capullo and Jonathan Glapion “Where do you go when you die? Not heaven or hell; somewhere else. Somewhere you have to fight to survive. Somewhere the people from the past are waiting for you - the good and the bad.”

Pretty excited for this one. It sounds like a good mix of action and soul crushing reunions. I kept hearing about it on a few blogs so I’m excited to finally be able to take a look at it. I love the art style on the cover. 

--Shimmer and Burn by Mary Taranta “Faris grew up struggling to survive in the slums of Brindaigel while caring for her sister, Cadence. But when Cadence is caught trying to flee the kingdom and is sold into slavery, Faris reluctantly agrees to a lucrative scheme to buy her back, inadvertently binding herself to the power-hungry Princess Bryn, who wants to steal her father’s throne. Now Faris must smuggle stolen magic into neighboring Avinea to incite its prince to alliance - magic that addicts in a war-torn country can sense in her blood and can steal with a touch. She and Bryn turn to a handsome traveling magician, North, who offers protection from Avinea’s many dangers, but he cannot save Faris from Bryn’s cruelty as she leverage Cadence’s freedom to force Faris to do anything -or kill anyone - she asks. Yet Faris is as fierce as Bryn, and even as she finds herself falling for North, she develops schemes of her own. With the fate of kingdoms at stake, Faris, Bryn, and North maneuver through a dangerous game of magical and political machinations, where lives can be destroyed - or saved - with only a touch.”

Really drawn to this title for the idea that magic can be stolen by a simple touch. There has to be more to it than that, though, or else how would anyone touch anyone? But I might be taking that too literally. We don’t yet know how wide spread magical power is in this world. Is the magic Faris is smuggling in her own or was it someone else’s? I also like to see how the idea of how something as simple as a touch could have huge consequences down the line. Good or bad.

In Movies/TV Series --Gurren Lagann 10th Anniversary Complete Box Set (blu-ray) If by some chance you have never heard of this series:

“This is the story of a man who has yet to realize what destiny holds in store for him... In the distant future, mankind has lived restlessly underground for hundred of years, subject to earthquakes and cave-ins. Living in one such village are two young men: one named Simon who is shy and naive, and the other named Kamina who believes in the existence of a “surface” world above their heads. The destiny of these two starts moving drastically when the ceiling of their village falls in, and a gigantic “Gunmen” and a beautiful girl named Yoko, wielding a superconductive rifle, come from the surface. Together, Kamina, Simon and Yoko ride the mega “Lagann” that Simon digs out of the ground, and fly up to the surface!”

Do I ever regret not watching this series the first time it was on television. I did manage to see it when it appeared on Toonami when it was revived, though. At first glance I didn’t think it it looked like anything overly special (that’s what I get for no trying more than two or three episodes). Giant mechas, suggestive jokes, and fan service. Which it is but it also has a great story line, character development, and an amazing soundtrack. It is a pricey set. Retail price is $189.98 though at the time of typing this, it is $149.98 on Rightstuf. It includes all 27 episodes and two movies.

--Kung fu Yoga “Two professors team up to locate a lost treasure and embark on an adventure that takes them from a Tibetan ice cave to Dubai to a mountain temple in India.”

From the trailer it looks to be a fun kung fu mixed with Bollywood movie. It hosts car chases, fights, and at least one dance scene. I had never heard of the movie title till roughly a week ago but today was the first time I looked up the trailer so I was surprised to see Jackie Chan stars in it. I would like to see it just to see him dance in one of the numbers.

Sapphy’s Spoilerific Review

Season 7 Episode 4

In case the title isn’t specific enough, this will be a very spoiler-filled review for Game of Thrones.

You have been warned!

Okay, so I'm a bit behind.

I mean, I watched the episode when it came out a week and a half ago, but for inexcusable reasons, I failed to write my updates. My bad, my lovely people.

So, traveling back in time, in a world where we haven't seen Episode 5, we will begin!

First, we find ourselves at Highgarden. Our intrepid Ser Jaime, who seems like he may be actual Jaime and not Pod-Jaime, inspects the gold that has been taken from the now defunct House Tyrell. (RIP, Olenna, once more.) He takes a sizeable chunk to hand off to our favorite sellsword, Bronn of the Blackwater. Bronn calls Jaime out on his funky attitude, but Jaime fails to comment on it. (I highly doubt it’s because he’s mourning what Olenna did to his psycho-son Joff.) Bronn gets a good sting in about the peaceful nature of Jaime’s dear sister’s reign. Hmm, maybe that’s the real sticking point in Jaime’s craw? Anyways, we cut back to King’s Landing where Cersei is still wooing the skeevy guy from the Iron Bank. It’s all – money, money, money. He again lavishes Cersei with praise about how she is truly Tywin’s heir. You can smell the false flattery from the other side of the television. After all, he’s trying to butter her up to borrow more money, so they can collect more interest. Oh, and she brings up the Golden Company with him. Because nothing but the best hired swords to help defeat your enemies. (Again, I doubt that the significance of the Golden Company from the books will translate to the show, on account of the fact that they don’t really go into any of the Blackfyre conspiracies.) Up in Winterfell, Meera comes to say goodbye to Bran, who continues his newfound laconic nature to upset his would-be girlfriend. She accuses him of not caring about anything, and confirms that by admitting that he’s dead inside. Littlefinger interrupts their break-up, and Meera runs off back to her family in The Neck. Littlefinger tries to bribe Bran with a shiny dagger that once upon a time was used to try and kill him. Bran then unnerves Littlefinger, maybe, by quoting his words that he said to Varys years ago “Chaos is a ladder”. Meanwhile, also in Winterfell, Arya returns home, only for none of the new guards to believe her when she says who she is. It doesn’t help that she’s not really in the know of the who’s who of Winterfell these days, except that her brother Jon is supposed to be King. When she learns Sansa is in charge while Jon is away, she is able to use that information to get at least into the Courtyard, but Tweedle Dee and Dum guarding her don’t pay very good attention to her, and she slips away. The guards report this to Sansa, and she is able to deduce from Arya’s outdated knowledge that it is likely her sister, and knows where to find her. And of course, Arya is exactly there, in the crypts, staring at a statue of their father. The sisters bicker in jest before embracing. Both evade details of what they have gone through, but Arya does confess to having some kind of murder bucket list. Sansa doesn’t believe her, but when they go to visit Bran under the Weirwood tree, Bran confirms that it’s actually real. (Sorry, Sansa, your siblings did get a bit weird in their abroad studies.) Bran also bestows the dagger on Arya before all three return back to the castle proper. Brienne and Podrick watch them from across the courtyard, and Pod tells Brienne, “Job well done!” Of course, Brienne is all humble, and truthful in admitting that she didn’t really do much for two-thirds of the Stark Bunch, but at least this time, she doesn’t dispute being called a Lady. Over in Dragonstone, Dany and Missandei are having some much-needed girltalk. I guess? I don’t know. I’m not really one to share those kinds of personal details with my boss, or even my friends. It’s called TMI for a reason. Anyways, Jon thankfully interrupts them and takes Dany to the Cave of Wonder… I mean, Dragonglass. After she gets over the shock of seeing all the shiny black rock, Jon points out all the painstakingly drawn carvings amongst them. Since Jon isn’t covered in white chalk, or rock dust, I’m guessing that he didn’t draw them. Which is a shame. That would have been pretty damn funny. Anyways, Dany stares at awe in the drawings, especially the very good rendition of the White Walkers, and she almost seems convinced. Almost. She even stares at Jon with moon eyes as she tells him that she’ll defend the North. Once he bends the knee. It’s back to the same old song and dance, even if she tries to appeal to Jon by saying don’t let his pride kill a bunch of people. It resonates with him since he once said the same thing to another would-be King, but it’s also kind of a pot meet kettle moment. They leave the cave to find out the bad news from Casterly Rock and the Reach. Dany’s no longer feeling so moon-eyed, but she wants Jon to give her some advice, and he does. Whether she’s going to listen to him… Well, who knows?

Circling back to Winterfell, we’re treated to more Brienne. And without Tormund leering at her! She’s continuing to school Pod on the art of swordsmanship when Arya decides that she wants to have some training lessons too. After all, she wants to learn from the woman who beat the Hound. Brienne obliges her, but first tells her that Needle is too small. Arya’s bravado from Bravos comes roaring out when she promises to not cut Brienne. It’s easy to tell that Brienne is holding back at first, but when Arya starts showing off and annoying her with her water dancing skills, Brienne kicks Arya square in the chest and off her feet. It’s on like Donkey Kong then, and Arya’s ferocity comes out for all to see, including her sister Sansa and Littlefinger who have stopped along the battlements to watch. The sparring comes to a draw, and can I point out that Arya pulled out the Valyrian steel dagger on Brienne? Brienne wasn’t using Oathkeeper, clearly. It’s just a bit odd that she’d draw a blade like that on Brienne, even if she did turn it away. Despite my tiny bit of ire there, the sparring scene is fun to watch, even if Sansa didn’t agree. I’m not sure if she’s worried about her sister, or worried that her sworn knight may be serving her sister as well. Littlefinger seems to be enjoying the possible division though.

We cut back to Dragonstone where Davos and Jon are talking about Dany’s many obvious qualities. They ask Missandei some questions about Dany, and she paints a pretty picture of the life Dany has secured for at least Missandei. Their conversation is interrupted by Theon, who gets the same treatment as every other male (save Tyrion) who has come in contact with his sister Sansa lately. I wish that he would have actually brought up Theon’s awful betrayal of Robb. You know, Robb. The brother that died at the Red Wedding. (I miss you, Robb!) Theon wants to talk to Dany about rescuing his sister, but apparently Dany’s not home….

Speaking of home, Jaime’s almost back to his second home, King’s Landing. Lord Sternly Tarly lets Jaime know that all the gold has made it into the city, and oh yeah, can he flog the stragglers? Jaime tells him, no, best not without warning, and Sternly rides off muttering to himself about having no fun. Bronn makes fun of Dickon’s name, just like a twelve year old, but the rest of the conversation is cut short by the sound of encroaching thunder. Wait, that’s not thunder, it’s a Dothraki Horde!

And here come Dany on Drogon!

I must say, that I was gripped by this battle. My firm adoration of Jaime (thanks to his book character) had me still rooting for his side as the dragon-poser-wyvern roasted his troops and supplies. Except, I love dragons, and even though Drogon is a poser, this was the kind of dragon versus an army scene that I’ve yearned to see. I was right there with Jaime and Bronn, and I was there with Dany as she swooped around on her child. I was even worried for Drogon when he took the bolt to his shoulder.

But then all bets were off when Jaime charged at Dany after she was grounded. What the hell are you doing, Jaime?!?!?! You can’t do this! It’s suicide! THINK OF BRIENNE FOR GOD’S SAKE!!

At the last second, Bronn knocks Jaime away before Drogon can roast him alive, knocking him into the river… And Jaime starts to sink to his presumable death.

I’ll admit, even though I feel Jaime has so much more story to give, that I’m fearful for him. What if they felt that this was a fitting end? What if there is no more Jaime? What if Brienne ends up with Tormund?!

I just… I’m distraught just thinking about it.

Sunday better rush it’s ass here!

Episode 124 : Trophies

"I will not lose."

- Jay-Z

Back on the road after an unscheduled absence, and now with a fully operational battle station (see my IG stories for more). This month's selection starts with a few tracks to test your audio installation, remembers 2Pac twenty-three years after he passed, and is pretty much guaranteed to hit you with at least one track you didn't already know! Let's begin...

Twitter : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Federation ft. Daz Dillinger : We Ride

I've been banging this one hard for months, and it seemed like an appropriate one to start the episode with! That little pre-chorus amuses and entertains in equal measure, and gives a breather each time before Rick Rock's stomping beat comes crashing back in. This is a great tune from Federation's 2004 eponymous first album, and they rep Fairfield hard on the mic while also bringing in Daz from Tha Dogg Pound for a cosign from a veteran. One to crank your car system to, for sure!

DJ Quik : Ladies & Thugs (Instrumental)

This is far from my favourite track on the excellent "Trauma" album, but the beat fit really well here - and DJ Quik was generous enough to release an instrumental version of this album for us to hear his wicked beats taking centre stage.

Jay-Z ft. Beanie Sigel, Memphis Bleek, and Static Major : Change The Game

Keeping it west coast on the production, Rick Rock is on the boards once again with what was arguably his national break-out tune. Jay-Z scooped up some of that Bay Area mob music vibe on this one, and featured two of the foremost MCs of the Roc-A-Fella roster of the time. The hook was provided by the sadly departed Static Major, and it fits perfectly. This was a big single from "The Dynasty : Roc La Familia", but didn't make anywhere near as much noise on the charts as the track that followed it on the LP - "I Just Wanna Love U". 

80s Babies ft. Chaka B : Technology

This crew is made up of Tall Black Guy on the beats and Dee Jackson AKA Shogun on the mic, and their "Sonic Music" album is somehow almost ten years old already. "Technology" and the track that follow just happen to fit together nicely, with no deliberate plan to have a tech critique theme in this section! The lyrics lament the state of the modern world when it comes to our reliance on technological solutions, with some maybe being more useful than others. TBG is dope on the beat as always, and if you pay attention you may hear a little callback to a track from his hometown of Detroit...

OutKast ft. George Clinton : Synthesizer

George Clinton was a big feature to get when this came out on "Aquemini", and I'm sure he was drawn to OutKast's outer space vibes. This was released in 1998, pre-social media and in what was almost another technological age - despite this, the themes discussed have held up surprisingly well for a track over twenty years old. As much as anything, maybe OutKast were just rapping ahead of their time!

2Pac ft. Dogg Pound, Method Man, and Redman : Got My Mind Made Up

This is one of my favourites from the over-long "All Eyez On Me" album, but the background to this one is weird. There's about half a bar of background vocal from Inspektah Deck right at the end - he actually recorded a whole verse (as did Lady of Rage) which was omitted from the final version after a mix-up when tapes were being transferred. Daz Dillinger did the production as well as rhyming on the track with his Dogg Pound compatriot Kurupt, but Dr Dre allegedly claimed it at one point. Meth and Red somehow didn't get any publishing or plaques from this track, despite being major artists at the time who contributed typically dope verses. Industry rule #4080...

[K-Murdock] & Mega Ran : Player Two (Instrumental)

The vocal version of this from "Forever Famicom" is well worth hearing, but for now you get to hear just K-Murdock's quality beat. It works in groups of three bars, so catches you a little off-balance at first! 

Blu & Oh No ft. Definite, Ca$hus King, and M.E.D : Boogie To Flex

From "A Long Red Hot Los Angeles Summer Night", we have tales of when the party goes all the way wrong and the gangsta business sets off! Oh No's beat is somehow bright and dark at once, bringing the tension, and every single guest MC brings it to the point that Blu only needs to come in with the perfectly-done hook.  

Royce Da 5'9" ft. Tre Little, Cha Cha, Cut Throat, Jah 5'9", and Billie Nix : D-Elite, Pt. II

Both parts of this mini-series to the B-side of the pretty so-so "You Can't Touch Me" once again proves Chuck D right! I actually prefer the first one overall, but it's very short and tonally wouldn't fit here. Part II is no slouch, with Alchemist on production and a host of guest MCs - the D-Elite of the title, who Royce cedes the floor to.

Reks : Forrest Gump

I'm wondering if the 2013 "Revolution Cocktail" album has been deleted - I can't find it on Amazon, Spotify, or even Bandcamp! Listen to it if you get chance because there is some serious heat on there from the Lawrence, MA veteran.

Curren$y : Billy Ocean

When the going gets tough, the tough get blunted. New Orleans' own Curren$y is on some paid rapper lifestyle business on this selection from "The Spring Collection" mixtape. Cardo and Sledgren provide the midtempo but chilled beat.

Luxury Elite : Upscale

A little vaporwave instrumental break courtesy of West Virginia's Luxury Elite, from her "World Class" album. So eighties, so good.

Tobe Nwigwe : Mo City Don Freestyle

I'm going to keep telling you how ill this Houston MC is until you believe me for real! Pure bars on this track that pays homage to the legendary Z-Ro's "Mo City Don" freestyle from his "Let The Truth Be Told" LP - which itself pays respect to the great Eric B & Rakim's "Paid In Full". Don't ever believe that real Hip-Hop isn't still alive and well in our era.

Zion I ft. Pep Love : Warrior's Dance

Back to the "Deep Water Slang v2.0" LP for a track that's motivational and bouncing at the same time - nothing less than you'd expect of this crew from Oakland, home of the Black Panthers! Fellow Oakland MC Pep Love of the Hieroglyphics family guests on here, taking half of each verse as well as the very last rhymes of the final verse. This is a salute to freedom fighters over a solid Amp Live beat.

Large Professor : Live In Stereo

This is very distinctly new-era (well, 2002) Large Pro, with the more electronic sound he started developing after the SP-1200 days that first made his name. The "1st Class" LP is Large Pro's second album, but the first to actually be released after "The LP" was shelved by Geffen and subsequently heavily bootlegged - finally surfacing in 2009.

Wretch 32 and Avelino ft. Bobii Lewis and Super N£ro : Nothing Will

This is such heat, and may well have slipped past the radar of many. Wretch 32 and Avelino are MCs who represent Tottenham heavy - at the time of this recording, Wretch being a relative veteran and Avelino the up-and-comer. A standout on the 2015 "Young Fire, Old Flame" mixtape, this tune has all MCs dropping deep quotables all over the DJ Smasherelly track, and Bobii Lewis with a great performance on the hook too. 

Pete Rock : Heaven & Earth

A gentle head-nodder from a man who has been bringing us classic production for almost thirty years now! If you like this, be sure to get the "Petestrumentals 2" album.

Nas : We Will Survive

After watching the episodes of the latest "Hip-Hop Evolution" series on the tragic beef between Death Row and Bad Boy, this track stood out for me while listening to Nas' third album "I Am". It's definitely one of the best on the LP in my opinion, with Nas speaking on his relationships with the late 2Pac and Biggie Smalls. The beat is a reflective number by Trackmasters and Jamal Edgerton, working a (cleared!) Kenny Loggins sample. This was a fitting song to end the episode with. 

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

  Check out this episode!

DuckTales 2017 - “Beaks in the Shell!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Ben Siemon

Storyboard by: Sam King, Kathryn Marusik, Stephan Park, Emmy Cicirega

Directed by: Jason Zurek

We go virtual!

The episode begins with GizmoDuck and Huey chasing after Gandra Dee, who just stole a cube that causes shockwaves. While he does end up grabbing the massive short circuit-causing cube before it drops into Duckburg's water, Gandra Dee ends up getting away in the end. He wasn't really too competent in this quest, either, as he got caught in a trap and he had to be told by Huey that he can fly out of them. Huey's like someone who yells at the TV when a plot hole happens. Whether this failure is because GizmoDuck is still not as competent as he wants to be or something else is not too obvious, but anyone who watched the previous major Gandra Dee episode can guess that something would have affected his crime fighting when it comes to Gandra Dee.

Back in Gyro Gearloose's lab, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera has another project in the works that is a secret from everyone: a new virtual reality cloud space that is both a space for scientific collaboration and a potential romantic destination. Let's just say that it may as well have been that something else, and that something else is hidden from everyone else, including his own M'Ma, about as well as his secret identity. Not that he was going to tell his special someone that they didn't buy it.

We go into the aforementioned virtual reality cloud space, where Gandra Dee is already generating beakers full of green chemicals, the universal sign of science in children's cartoons. They can also kiss under the happy little pixelated trees, because they are still an item despite Gandra Dee's record of blinding children and threatening to short-circuit all of Duckburg. Fenton is almost ready to share this scientific breakthrough to the world, but Dee doesn't want to do that because she thinks people would shut it down because of all the purple glitches. This plot point made me wonder if there was going to be something more than just "oh, Gyro can fix those", like if they were going to be a major part of the plot, or that it was supposed to represent that this romance is not going to last.

We later learn that this cloud is also important because they can do dangerous experiments without worry of injury, and, combined with their ability to generate anything they can imagine, this could be a good set-up to an interesting creativity vs. creativity battle. Maybe the purple glitches will come to life as monsters, or maybe FOWL will find out what's going on here and invade it with their own creativity. I mean, who else would have the idea to invade this Gizmotopia?

Fenton: (putting his arms around his one true love) This is going to be...

Mark Beaks: ...the greatest scientific achievement in his-zizz-tory!

Oh, it's Mark Beaks advertising a new Waddle phone update that partially fixes a bug that makes the phones explode into flames. Granted, there's no hint that there's going to be any convergence between these two plots besides Beaks coincidentally finishing Fenton's sentence, with an extra "zizz", but, really, it's inevitable.

Now, Waddle only has one investor, and the investor tells the CEO that he has to come up with an original idea, which he simply can't do as every idea he can come up with, like coffee cups with apps, was already taken. This isn't really the episode's B-plot, and, as said before, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that he's just going to give up and attempt to steal whatever Gyro or his intern are doing. One other thing that's a bit confusing is that nobody seems to recognize Mark Beaks anymore despite being the CEO of a company that apparently still makes phones a lot of people use. It could work as another sign that his company is going down, and that's why he seems so desperate here.

Meanwhile, Huey ends up barging into Fenton's office with a new discovery about Gandra Dee that could lead to her capture, only to see Fenton doing a kissy face while wearing his GizmoDuck helmet. He puts two-and-two together and realizes this must be some sort of virtual reality cloud space. Fenton tries to get him away from that by saying that the GizmoDuck helmet only works on his head, and he just does not have any additional VR headsets for guests. Manny the Headless Horse makes his appearance in this episode with a bunch of VR headsets, apparently hearing that excuse as a request for those, and Huey comes into the world to marvel at all of its wonders, including that very special guest.

Gandra Dee: What...the...f...

Huey: FOWL?!

I see what they did there. Gandra has to generate a weighted blanket to calm Huey down after that revelation. At first, I was going to make some joke about how this is a really bad way for the Duke of Making A Mess to go out, but it makes sense. Stress will be one of the major parts of Huey's part of the plot, and weighted blankets are a good way to relieve that. It's also another reminder that this is a world where ideas can come to life, even if it's just a virtual one. I would question how a virtual weighted blanket would work, but this episode does seem to go with the "one's mind makes it real" scenario.

As Huey keeps asking questions on why Gandra Dee is working with Fenton, we get the little sad backstory on Gandra Dee courtesy of her generating a flashback of her losing a science fair to someone making that one volcano experiment. People just don't understand that she wants to push the boundaries of science with...okay, I'm not sure what that is supposed to be, but it does shoot a dangerous death ray. Because of her experiments need for danger, she can only do experiments on herself, which is why she happens to be a cyborg, and the only people who would fund her work happens to be people like the evil buzzard bent on world domination. She adds an additional comfort to Huey that she already plans to quit FOWL for good after using their resources to make this. After making puppy dog eyes at the little kid like a little kid makes puppy dog eyes at their parents, Huey accepts this for the sake of both science and love.

This leads into our actual B-plot: Huey trying his hardest to keep a secret, and his anxiousness and stress is really getting the best of him even in the beginning. One of the first people he has to confront is none other than Fenton's M'Ma, who, despite Fenton's words to Gandra Dee, did not buy that his project was not some sort of romantic exploit. This leads to an interrogation scene. Crackshell then shows up before M'Ma could actually interrogate him further, and Huey has to try to motion to him what exactly his lies were. It's the usual set up for plots like this, the guy gets caught up in the lie, and he tries desperately to keep the secret a secret. There's not a lot that I haven't seen before, but I can not say this is bad, either.

One creative thing they do end up doing is the very next scene where, after Huey "goes to the bathroom", Huey comes in a room with confidence to answer the big question on why Fenton would keep secrets from his own M'Ma. Eventually, he has to bail again after hearing that one of the secrets is that Fenton is GizmoDuck. Why? Because that was actually Louie playing the part of Huey, and somehow, the schemer of the three nephews is the last person in Duckburg to know GizmoDuck's secret identity. He tries to go back only for M'Ma to ask "Huey" about "Louie's Kids", that fake charity he had in The Other Bin, and Louie cracks under pressure and reveals Huey put him up to it. Huey runs to Fenton's house to essentially yell out that he can't take hiding this secret about the GizmoCloud anymore, thinking the only person in there is a still-in-the-GizmoCloud Fenton. He has no reason to believe there's any desperate CEOs hiding in the wastebasket.

We cut back and forth between this plot and the "Gandra Dee not wanting to open the GizmoCloud" plot, and it turns out to be more about her than anything else. We get the lines about how she doesn't want the world to think of her badly, and how he doesn't care what they think about her, and this heartfelt moment doesn't last too long. Mark Beaks may not be a creative man, but he at least knows how to hack into things. Honestly, it seems like this world didn't have that much security to begin with.

Mark Beaks shows up, locking them in a hashtag captcha before Gandra Dee can defeat him with the combined power of a Terry Bogard power wave and a Rolling Stones reference, and he decides he's going to use his new "WaddleCloud" to steal other people's ideas without anyone telling him. Fenton can still use his creativity powers, and he tries to do that to summon the GizmoDuck suit...only for Mark Beak's stealing powers to take it right from him, giving him the power suit and the ability to add Waddle logos to all the buildings in the skybox.

Fenton Crackshell can still use his creativity abilities to sneakily motion his hands to tap Morse code for help. By the way, yes, he is comatose. It's just like Sword Art Online or that one episode of Black Mirror. Also, how lucky that the one person taking a stress rest in the room, Huey, happened to know Morse code. He tries to take the VR headset out of Mark Beak's head, only for it to give him an electric shock, and the computer displays a little Mark Beaks head telling him that, "ah, ah, ah, you didn't say the magic word." I'm not going to give any hate on this episode for lazy references. If anything, this joke is perfectly fitting for Mark Beaks.

All of this convinces Huey that he doesn't need to keep the secret anymore, which pretty much ends the B-plot with him just randomly yelling out to a mail carrier about how Mark Beaks hacked into the GizmoCloud. He then says he's going to find people who can actually help. It's like he's aware what he did made no sense. Before GizmoDuck can use his finger lasers to delete Fenton and Gandra from the program, or whatever that would entail, his world is suddenly invaded by Huey, M'Ma, and Gyro. How did they manage to get in this hostile cloud takeover when it's implied Mark Beaks put Dennis Nedry-levels of security on it? Pineapples. Well, or Gyro helped them. Either way, it's not really explained.

It may seem like I didn't like this episode that much, so I'll say one thing I did like a lot besides the Louie scene: the weekly final fight scene all of that buildup led up to. The people all use their creativity in a pretty cool way here that I won't entirely spoil here. I also like how Mark Beaks' lack of creativity fits into what he does in it; he just combines everyone else's ideas into a super robot form. I was expecting him to fall over due to so many conflicting ideas, but they end up doing something else that was also pretty funny. Funny by Mark Beaks standards, anyway.

It's not much of a spoiler to say that the good guys win, but there is a little bit more to the ending. Namely, there is a major cliffhanger at the end of the episode. While it's a good cliffhanger, It does feel a little disappointing that a character that was built up in this episode essentially becomes a mere damsel in distress. Then again, I felt the same way about Lena in The Other Bin before the big revelation about her in The Shadow War. We'll just have to see what happens.

How does it stack up?

There's some good scenes here and there, like the blanket, the Louie scene, and the final fight scene, but with everything else, I just found it mediocre by DuckTales 2017's high standards. I'd put it below New Gods On The Block, which has a fight scene similar to this one, and I didn't really love that one either. I can see people disagreeing with this one, especially if they were really into Gandra Dee or Mark Beaks, and I'm sure the last minute of the episode is going to lead to somewhere fascinating. I really debated on whether or not this should be the first two Scrooges episode of Season 3, and I originally gave this a 2 just because I didn't think it was as great as everyone else thought it was. However, I then thought about some of the episode I would give a 2, and I think the good scenes in this episode are just too good to give the whole package a two.

Long story short, Three Scrooges.

Next, we meet some friends for life, through thick or thin, with plenty of tales to spin.

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Month in Review // So Many Readathons! – April | Part 1

My brain is tired.

This Month in Review post is going to look a little different!

This first post is just going to be about what I read, watched and listened to because… well there’s a lot! I mean it’s mostly books. But like. A lot of fucking books.

Well that’s not entirely true. It’s mostly because I decided to participate in loads of readthons! Not bad for someone who participated in their first ever readathon this year!

And I just couldn’t figure out a way to format things in a more space-efficient way without sacrificing how I like my posts to look. Perfectionism is a curse, honestly.

I didn’t want to put everything in one post because then it would have been v. v. long. and no one has the attention span for that…I sure don’t!

So you can find Part Two for this post as an extra post, outside of my usual blogging schedule, on Thursday!

If you would like to buy any of the following books please consider using my Book Depository Affliate link!

If you click on any of the fan art in this post it will take you to the artist’s page!

           UnsolvedAThon 

*Means that I had books for both clues.

UnsolvedAThon was created by Laura @ The Book Corps!

Clue 1*

[Ryan’s Path] The Search for the Mysterious Mothman – Read a book about a mythical creature or a monster.

[Shane’s Path] The Harrowing Hunt for Bigfoot – Read a book about a mythical creature/monster.

Clue 2

[Shane’s Path] The Strange Disappearance of D.B. Cooper – Read a mystery or thriller book.

│The Rook││

Clue 3

[Shane’s Path] The Haunting of the Salem Witch Trials – Read a book involving witches.

Clue 4

[Shane’s Path] The Horrifying Murders of the Zodiac Killer – Read a retelling.

│Toil & Trouble││

Clue 5

[Shane’s Path] The Secret Society of the Illuminati – Read a book about or involving a secret society.

│The Rook││

Clue 6

[Ryan’s Path] The Enigmatic Death of the Isdal Woman – Read a book involving spies or espionage.

│The Morning Star││

Clue 7

[Ryan’s Path] The Haunting of Hannah Williams – Read a book involving ghosts or spirits.

│City of Ghosts││

Clue 8*

[Ryan’s Path] The Historic Disappearance of Louis Le Prince – Read an unknown book or a book that has less than 500 ratings on Goodreads.

│Rad Girls Can││

[Shane’s Path] The Thrilling Gardner Museum Heist – Read a book involving a heist or thieves.

Clue 9*

[Ryan’s Path] The Haunted Town of Tombstone – Read a book about an outlaw/a group of outlaws.

│The Morning Star││

[Shane’s Path] Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons – Read a collection of short stories/anthology.*

│Toil & Trouble││

Clue 10

[Ryan’s Path] The Odd Vanishing of Amelia Earhart – Read a book with a female main character.

│The Rook││

│Toil & Trouble││

│City of Ghosts││

I did it!

      O.W.L.s TBR

Half way through the month I watched a few O.W.L.s TBR video’s on Youtube and decided I would participate as long as the books I was already reading for the UnsolvedAThon would fit the prompts.

If you don’t know what the O.W.L.s readathon is you can check it out in the link above. It’s basically a readathon created by Gintare @ Book Roast on Youtube so us mere muggles could experience the exams that students at Hogwarts have to experience!

I had initially wanted to join O.W.L.s when I first heard of it in March but brushed it off as impossible since I was already doing a pretty major readathon.

Well it turns out that I could participate without having to read any extra books I hadn’t already decided to read!

I decided to sit my exams for the Professor career. There were quite a few career’s I would have preferred but unfortunately it was required to read the History of Magic prompt, which is a book at least 10 years old and I just didn’t have time to add another book to my TBR. Plus the only books I know I own that meet that requirement are IT and Game of Thrones and fuck that. I definitely don’t have time for those!

For the Professor career you get to choose which subject you want to teach! I would have chosen to be a History of Magic professor but, like I said, none of the books on my TBR fit the prompt. Instead I have chosen Ancient Runes!.. Or maybe astronomy???

I don’t know! I just covered both topics and then I’ll decide when its time for the N.E.W.T.s, a readathon connected to the O.W.L.s, in August! Not being able to choose which subject is very on brand for me.

Ancient Runes 

Read a retelling

│Toil & Trouble││

Arithmancy

Read a work written by more than one author

│Toil & Trouble││

Astronomy

Read a book with Star in the title

│The Morning Star││

Care of Magical Creatures

Read a book with a land animal on the cover

│City of Ghosts││

Charms

Age-line: Read an adult book

│The Rook││

Defence Against the Dark Arts

Reducto: Read a title that starts with R

│Rad Girls Can││

Herbology

Read a book with a plant on the cover

│Toil & Trouble││

Muggle Studies

Read a contemporary

│The Morning Star││

Transfiguration

Read a book with sprayed edges or red Cover

│City of Ghosts││

I did it!

      YA Bookaholics April Readathon 

April 11-15

I decided last minute, again, to participate in another readathon! This one was hosted by the YA Bookaholics group on Goodreads and for that one we kept track of how many pages we read!

I was hoping to read more, but it did kick my butt into gear to finish two books!

Thursday

│Sawkill Girls│61│Toil & Trouble│36│Total 97 Pages│

Friday

│Sawkill Girls│80│Total 80 Pages│

Saturday

│Sawkill Girls│138│Toil & Trouble│53│Total 191 Pages│

  Sunday

│Sawkill Girls│181│Total 181 Pages│

Monday

│The Rook│16│Total 16 Pages│

Grand Total

│565 Pages│

I think I might continue to participate in this reading-sprint style readathon each month, from now on, as it really makes me want to read more! Hopefully next time I’m not working every day of the readathon!

     Unexpected Readathon Time – April 

April 18-22

Destiny @ Howling Libraries hosts unexpected readathons over in her group on Goodreads!

I decided to participate this month since I was already doing so many readathons, what’s another one???

Like the Bookaholics readathon, I chose to keep track of my progress by pages read.

Thursday

│The Rook│69│Total 69 Pages│

Friday

│The Rook│17│City of Ghosts│100│Total 117 Pages│

Saturday

│The Rook│35│City of Ghosts│64│Total 99 Pages│

  Sunday

│The Rook│46│City of Ghosts│121│Total 167 Pages│

Monday

│The Rook│9│Total 9 Pages│

Grand Total

│461 Pages│

Not as good as the Bookaholics one but I still feel like a read a lot! More than I would have otherwise.

     April’s TBR

│I’ve Got This Round││

     Read

│I’ve Got This Round│Mamrie Hart│││││★★★★★│Read Apr 6│

│Rad Girls Can│Kate Schatz││││││★★★★│Read Apr 7│

│Toil & Trouble│Tess Sharpe││││││3.5★│Read Apr 16│

│City of Ghosts│Cassidy Blake #1│Victoria Schwab││││││★★★★│Read Apr 21│

│The Rook│The Checquy Files #1│Daniel O’Malley││││││★★★★│Read Apr 27│

│The Morning Star│Shadow of the Templar #1│M. Chandler││││││★★★★│Read Apr 30│

I literally read finished this book 3 minutes before midnight.

│Smoke Gets in Your Eyes│Caitlin Doughty││││││

│Murasaki Shikibu│Khutlun│Sayyida Al-Hurra│Mochizuki Chiyome│Doña Ana Lezama De Urinza & Doña Eustaquia De Sonza│Bygone Badass Broads│Mackenzi Lee│││││

│”Stagecoach” Mary Fields│Yennenga│Annie Jump Cannon│Wilma Rudolph│Alfhild│Calafia│Keumalahayati│Marie Marvingt│Iara│Jane Dieulafoy│Rejected Princesses│Jason Porath│││││

Book of the Month

│Sawkill Girls│Claire Legrand│││││││★★★★★│Read Apr 14│

│Average Rating: 4.5★’s│ 5│

Structured TBR Pass or Fail?

│Must Read:  7/5│ 1/1│ 0/0│ 4/2│ 6/3│ 10/10│ 5/5│

│Allowances:  1/1│ 1/1│ 0/0│ 0/0│ 1/2│

     Past Grey Reads

 Book Review // Girl Made of Stars – I Am Broken

 Grey Reads // Everything’s On Fire and I Couldn’t Be Happier – Girls of Paper and Fire

 Grey Reads // Bloody Moors & Candy Castles – The Wayward Children 2 & 3

       Film & TV

Month’s TBW

│Game of Thrones│Season 2-3││

│The Bold Type│Season 3││

│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│Season 6││

│RuPaul’s Drag Race│Season 11││

│On My Block│Season 2││

│Captain Marvel││

│Avengers Endgame││

I plan on seeing this with my mum on Mother’s Day!

│Us││

I was going to see this while my car was being serviced but there wasn’t a screening on at the right time for me.

     Watched

│Younger│Season 1-4││2015│ Darren Star│ Sutton Foster, Miriam Shor, Hilary Duff│

There is so much about this show that I don’t like, that annoys me a ridiculous amount and yet…I can’t stop watching it. It’s a problem. And there’s only 12 episodes each season and they’re only 20 minutes each. It’s so easy to put this show on and not think about anything but how stupid the characters are.

Except Maggie. I love Maggie.

│The Bold Type│Season 3││2017│ Sarah Watson│ Katie Stevens, Aisha Dee, Meghann Fahy│

I love this show so fucking much. I was hoping Younger would be just an older version of The Bold Type… And yet The Bold Type shows far more maturity, actually has character growth, and I don’t want to punch any of the main characters which is far more than I can say for Younger.

│RuPaul’s Drag Race│Season 11││2009│ RuPaul│RuPaul, Michelle Visage│Watching weekly episodes│

I’m still living for this season. I’m glad to see more of Plastique’s personality and Vanjie is still giving me life.

│Game of Thrones│Season 2-5││2011│ David Benioff, D.B. Weiss│ Emilia Clarke, Peter Dinklage, Kit Harington│

I—I forgot what an actual shit storm I had to endure. Like I knew. But I forgot how bad it was all the time. It just doesn’t stop. 

But I’m loving making snide smart-ass comments throughout now that I know what happens.

Like bitch, you about to dieeeeeeee.

Fuck your honour, I’d rather survive, to be honest.

Also this re-watch is just a reminder of how fucking much I love Tyrion. And Briene. And Arya. And Sansa, god I love her so much more now. And Podrick, bless him.

Mum and I are getting through the seasons so quickly (thank you Easter weekend!) that now I’m worried we’re gonna finish it before the last season is completely out.

│Captain Marvel││2019│ Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck│ Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn│

I went and saw this with my mum and omg it was sooooooo good.

This was better than Wonder Woman. I would die for Carol Danvers and Fury and his fucking cat.

Also I would fucking love to see grown up Scientist Monica in End Game, kicking ass STEM style.

│Bonding│Season 1││2019│ Rightor Doyle│ Zoe Levin, Brendan Scannell, Kevin Kane │

Youtube

│Ladylike│Devin Shares Her Sexual Assault Story│

I sobbed, like ugly crying, can’t breath, quiet sobbing.

Obviously it’s a very triggering video so please don’t watch it if it’ll harm your mental health!!!! You’re health comes first!

If you’re someone who wants to try and understand what its like for women who experience sexual assault then this is a good video to watch.

│Jessica Kellgren-Fozard│Royal Inbreeding Gone Wrong! (Was It Ever Right?) // Charles II [CC]│Am I Disabled Enough? // ft. Hannah Witton [CC]│LGBTQ+ Relationships Should Be Taught In Schools [CC]│Royal Drama! // How Historically Accurate is Mary Queen of Scots? [CC]│A Lesbian Queen of England!? How Historically Accurate is The Favourite? [CC]│The Bisexual Artist Who Changed The World From Bed // Frida Kahlo [CC]│Deaf, Blind and Awkward // Helen Keller // #DisabilityHistoryMonth [CC]│The deaf princess who became a style icon // Queen Alexandra // #DisabilityHistoryMonth [CC]│

OMG. So i stumbled upon this youtuber ages ago because I saw that she did a video on how historically accurate The Favourite was and I was panning to watch that movie. So I watched it and then forgot about Jessica’s video but she popped up in my feed again and so I spent almost the entire last day of the month binge watching her videos when i should have been doing food shopping.

Anyway I love her, she’s disabled, and super gay and vintage and really outspoken about being disabled and super gay and I love her.

She is also someone who makes learning history really fucking fun. Her Royal Inbreeding Gone Wrong! video is especially funny and she also has a video on disabled & queer historical figures and a video on how historically accurate the Mary Queen of Scots movie is!

A lot of her videos are closed captioned (not just the predicted captions, like actually people sat down and took the time to create accurate captions for her videos) and I super appreciate it as someone with audio processing issues and a mum who can’t sleep with any volume above like a 5. You can tell which ones by the [CC] in the title!

She’s amazing and if you’re going to check out any new youtubers in the immediate future, it should be Jessica.

     Music

│YUNGBLUD│11 Minutes + Halsey│Loner│Falling Skies + Charlotte Lawrence│

│Dodie│Burned Out│

│Troye Sivan + Lauv│i’m so tired…│

│Steve Aoki│Waste It on Me + BTS│

│Billie Eilish│idontwannabeyouanymore│bury a friend│bad guy│you should see me in a crown│all the good girls go to hell│

│Ariana Grande│NASA│fake smile│

Past Grey Watches

 Grey Watches // I Hate It So Much I Love It – A Christmas Prince

 Grey Watches // It Has To Be A Shit Show – A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

 Grey Watches // I Wanna Bone Jude Law and Kate Winslet – The Holiday

I’m honestly in Game of Thrones Overload

What did you do this month? What did you read? What did you watch? What posts did you write that you’re super proud of?

│Blog│Goodreads│Instagram│Twitter│Tumblr│

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The 13 Best It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia Episodes FX's It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia just entered its 13th season, and over the years, the gang has done some incredible and despicable things. From exploiting the gas crisis, to getting drunk on planes, to putting on a rock opera that's just a marriage proposal ploy, the show contains some hilarious and truly memorable episodes.The show follows the owners--and employee--of Paddy's Pub in Philadelphia: Ronald "Mac" McDonald, Dee Reynolds, Dennis Reynolds, Frank Reynolds, and Charlie Kelly. Together, this group of friends is toxic and ruins the lives of everyone around them through malicious schemes and plots to try and make themselves seem like better people.In honor of the show's 13th season, the folks at GameSpot came together to debate which episodes are the best. Obviously, this is no easy task because so many of these episodes are amazing.After plenty of debate, looking at every scheme, every violent encounter, and every hilarious moment, we figured out the best 13 episodes from the series. Let us know what your favorite episodes are in the comment section below.It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia currently airs Wednesdays at 10 PM on FXX. 13. The Gang Gives Frank An InterventionSeason 5, Episode 4Frank has gone off the wagon with his drinking so Dee, Dennis, and Charlie want to give him an intervention. Meanwhile, Frank is trying to have sex with his sister-in-law, who Mac is pursuing as well. However, Frank settles for her daughter, Gail the Snail, who is simply the worst (and one of the show's best side characters, despite being underused). This episode is the point where Frank really goes off the deep end--Season 2 Frank is very different from what the character eventually becomes--and once he starts plumbing the depths of his depravity here, he'll never stop. This episode is a great example of the group dynamic, which involved getting as drunk as possible (this time with wine in soda cans) and berating each other. 12. The Gang Wrestles For The TroopsSeason 5, Episode 7 This episode has the first appearances of both Da Maniac and Ben the Soldier. Mac, Charlie, and Dennis decide nothing is more American than wrestling and decide to put on a wrestling show for the troops. They book Da Maniac, played by the late Roddy Piper, a deranged wrestler with a heart of gold who ends up getting arrested before the show. Meanwhile, Dee meets her online boyfriend Ben but passes him off to Artemis when Ben shows up in a wheelchair after spraining his ankle. One of the best moments of the episode is when Charlie, Mac, and Dennis come to the wrestling ring as "The Birds of War," singing their entrance with drawn on abs. It's one of the few times the majority of the gang actually tries to accomplish something where they aren't benefiting from it in some way and gives the viewer some hope that these people aren't all that bad. Also check out Season 9, Episode 4: "Mac and Dennis Buy a Timeshare" 11. Maureen Ponderosa Wedding MassacreSeason 8, Episode 3 This is the only episode on this list where it really helps to have watched previous episodes revolving around the relationship of Dennis and his ex-wife Maureen Ponderosa. The Wedding Massacre all takes place in flashback form as Frank, Dennis, Charlie, and Mac are telling the story of what happened at the Maureen Ponderosa/Liam McPoyle wedding, which ended like a zombie movie. It's a combination of two major antagonists in the gang's lives that haven't crossed over before. It's tonally a bit different than a traditional Always Sunny episode, as it's darker and a tad creepy, but it works. This episode is a pivotal point in Maureen's storyline, right before she begins transitioning into a cat. Plus it's always fun to spend time with the whole McPoyle clan--not least the raving mad Pappy McPoyle, played for some reason by none other than Guillermo del Toro. Also check out Season 6, Episodes 1 & 2: "Mac Fights Gay Marriage" and "Dennis Gets Divorced." 10. Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten MittensSeason 5, Episode 8 While the series had already been on the air for five years at the time, The original TV spot for the "Kitten Mittens" episode went viral, as a cat wearing socks tried to walk across a table as Charlie looked on. In the actual episode, everyone in the gang tries to develop products to market Paddy's Pub, which leads them to The Lawyer (played again by Brian Unger). This episode sets up a couple recurring gags, like Charlie believing he's a lawyer or "man of the law" and Frank trying to sell an egg dyed green as a stress ball and "jumping off point." The episode also has one of the best sight gags in the series, with Mac's "D**k towel," a crudely drawn penis on a shower towel. It's a stand-alone episode that's just moment after moment of really solid comedy writing. 9. The Gang Broke DeeSeason 9, Episode 1 For eight seasons, the gang has been brutal to Dee Reynolds, and at the start of Season 9, she cracks like the shell of an egg that she would lay (because she is a bird). Mac, Charlie, and Frank try to lift her spirits by encouraging her to try stand-up comedy again. She actually does well for herself. While this is happening, Dennis tries to hook her up with a "select," a mediocre man Dee can settle down with. The turn at the end episode is outstanding and unbelievably mean. It's so malicious toward Dee, and it ends up breaking Dennis, for very different reasons. While it's an extremely cold-hearted episode, it's amazing to see the depths these characters will go just to one-up each other. 8. Dennis and Dee Go on WelfareSeason 2, Episode 3 Right after Danny Devito joined the cast as Frank Reynolds, Always Sunny started finding its footing, as the series offered more of a variety in how the gang split up into different alliances and they began to get more depraved than ever. "Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare" is a great early example of this. As the title suggests, Dennis and Dee quit their jobs to milk the welfare system--which leads them to become crack addicts--while Charlie and Mac spend all of Frank's money in his secret bank account. This episode sets up a few reoccuring things in always Sunny, like Dennis and Dee's addiction problems and Frank's casual racism. It's actually a great starting point for the series, as it gives the audience a greater understanding of how far these characters are willing to go in order to please their own egos, even if it means turning to addiction so they don't have to work anymore. 7. A Very Sunny ChristmasSeason 6, Episode 13 Originally a straight-to-video release and added a year later to Season 6, this 43-minute episode gives the audience plenty of insight into the gang's childhood and why they're all such damaged people. As kids, Frank would buy himself what Dennis and Dee wanted for Christmas and rub it in their faces. Mac learns his family would steal gifts from other families. Charlie learns his mother was a prostitute that had sex with men dressed like Santa Claus. Also, there's a claymation sequence that is bonkers, and one of the top Sunny gags ever, involving a stark naked, glistening Frank bursting from the bowels of a saggy leather couch in the middle of an office holiday party full of strangers. While this episode tends to be overlooked, it is crucial to understanding these characters, as nowhere else do we see a better blueprint for who these characters are and where they came from. 6. The Gang Solves The Gas CrisisSeason 4, Episode 2 The gang is always coming up with schemes, none of which are good on paper nor do they play out as planned. "The Gang Solves The Gas Crisis" sees Mac, Dennis, and Charlie selling barrels of gasoline to people door-to-door in order to profit from the high gas prices at the time. Meanwhile, Frank and Dee try to besmirch Bruce Mathis (Dee and Dennis's real father) after he plans on donating the late Barbara Reynolds' inheritance. This episode starts the trend of Charlie as the "wild card" of the group, as he dresses up like a Texas oil man, tries to seduce a banker, and throws a fireball at Mac's head. "The Gang Solves The Gas Crisis" sets the trend for how the group's schemes will turn out--poorly--but it delivers the idea that they can work together, despite being despicable people. Out of all of the schemes the gang has come up with throughout the series, this one tops the list. Also check out Season 8, Episode 2: "The Gang Recycles Their Trash" 5. The Gang Beats BoggsSeason 10, Episode 1 Throughout its 13 seasons, Always Sunny had plenty of road trip episodes where the gang leaves the bar to go on adventures. The best of them all is "The Gang Beats Boggs." With Mac acting as commissioner, the gang goes on a cross-country flight in order to try and beat Wade Boggs' record of drinking 70 beers in one flight. Meanwhile, Frank wants to start "The Air Sex Society," by getting it on with someone on the flight. Where the episode shines is in the group dynamic. The gang is reved up for their plan, but as the episode goes on, one by one, they give up or find something they deem more interesting to focus on. This is a repeating trend throughout the series, and an element we've seen before, but no other episode does it as well as "The Gang Beats Boggs," as it contains this all within a tight location, weaving multiple storylines, and keeping the dialogue comedic. Also check out Season 13, Episode 3: "The Gang Beats Boggs: Ladies Reboot" 4. Charlie WorkSeason 10, Episode 4Not only is "Charlie Work" a hilarious and chaotic mess (in the best way possible), but it is shot beautifully, with plenty of long, single-shot takes following Charlie throughout the bar. In the episode, Charlie learns that the health inspector is on her way to inspect Paddy's Pub, so Charlie kicks into high gear to make sure the bar is up to code. However, while this is happening, the rest of the gang has a convoluted scheme involving live chickens, airline miles, and steaks. Charlie has to make sure the health inspector isn't wise to the scheme, all while keeping her none-the-wiser. The episode shows that Charlie is actually incredibly competent as one of the owners, and one of the best gags of the episode is set up right under your nose the entire time. It gives the audience a whole new perspective on the character, and you'll come to respect him more. 3. "The D.E.N.N.I.S. SystemSeason 5, Episode 10It's well-established now that Dennis Reynolds is a full-blown sociopath, but it was this 2009 episode that really defined how awful the character is. Dennis explains to the gang his technique for seducing women, which involves Demonstrating his value, Engaging her physically, Nurturing her dependence, Neglecting her emotionally, Inspiring hope, and Separating entirely. A good portion of this system relies on Dennis making threatening phone calls as a disgruntled neighbor. We also learn about the M.A.C. System, which is just Mac trying to swoop in after Dennis leaves these women. This episode is a big turn for the character. Instead of being a typical scumbag who uses women, we learn that he's a straight-up monster who plays a game to inflate his own self-worth. You'll never look at Dennis the same way again. Fun fact: The pharmacist Dennis dates in this episode is Glenn Howerton's wife in real life. 2. Charlie MacDennis: The Game of GamesSeason 7, Episode 7Without anything fun to do, the gang introduces Frank to a convoluted board/drinking game they created, Chardee MacDennis. Based on board games they loved as children--combined with their love of alcohol--the gang's homebrew tabletop game is pure insanity and the whole goal of the game is to belittle the losers. It's one of the more bizarre episodes and shows that this group thrives on being awful to other people, even if it's to each other. The episode expands on the relationships between the characters and delivering a really fun plot, while never leaving the bar. More importantly, it's one of the most light-hearted episodes in the series, with the endgame of the gang not being anything too crazy.Also check out Chardee MacDennis 2: Electric Boogaloo (Season 11, Episode 1) 1. "The Nightman Cometh"Season 4, Episode 13In the Season 4 finale, Charlie and the gang decide to put on a rock opera based on Charlie's song "Night Man" from Season 3. The opera's story revolves around a young boy who must stop the Night Man in order to win the heart of a princess of a coffee shop. He does this by turning into the Day Man. There's a huge turn at the end, as Charlie appears and asks the Waitress--who is in the audience--to marry him. While it's undeniably one of the funniest episodes, especially when Frank--who plays the Troll--can't get the lyrics right, it's incredibly dark when you realize that this could be the story of Charlie, as a young boy, escaping the clutches of his Uncle Jack. It's a prime example of taking a character who the audience tends to perceive as dumb and showing another side to him, as Charlie is--in many ways--a musical genius, even if the content of the music is disturbing.Also check out "Sweet Dee's Dating a R****ded Person" (Season 3, Episode 9) Source by [author_name] #games #gamer #gaming #game #play #koragame #freegames #onlinegames

DuckTales 2017 - “The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Christian Magalhaes

Storyboard by: Jean-Sebastien Duclos, Sam King, Jason Reicher

Directed by: Jason Zurek

Dangerous!

We begin this adventure in a dark and stormy night, caused by a villain who calls himself Dr. Atmozfear. GizmoDuck shows up and attempts a one-liner about how he's going to rain on his parade. It's made quite clear this was not his best line, even Dr. Atmozfear points out that he must not really be trying, but Gizmo has an excuse: not only has he spent better one-liners against two other weather-based villains, he is so overworked as a superhero that he couldn't re-up his puns.

Showing that off even more, he gets a phone call right in the middle of this encounter, showing that he's so busy, even explanations about how he's so busy gets interrupted. The villain even says almost exactly that; his other part of his villainy is explaining the joke. He eventually punches him out, and uses the exact same one-liner he used slightly more confidently, much to Dr. Atmozfear's derision. Pointing out your jokes aren't funny isn't usually a good idea, but it does work for the rest of the plot.

After taking care of that umpteenth villain, we see Huey and Webby waiting for Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera to show up. Webby still doesn't know who GizmoDuck's secret identity is, but Huey does, and he desperately tries to keep the secret as Fenton walks out of an alley coincidentally after GizmoDuck crashes into that alleyway and disturbs a cat. Webby connects the dots immediately, and asks Fenton if his GizmoDuck suit has a toilet in it.

Thankfully, he never answers that question, but he does have to add Webby to the growing list of people who know his secret identity. He decides to walk into an electronics store to find a birefringent beam splitter, only to be blasted.

No, not by a ray gun, but by a bunch of TVs. This electronics store decided to have every news channel play at the same time. Yes, I know, it's to show that every news station in Duckberg is talking about that amazing superhero. Well, one of these news reports ends up being very apparent to me, and it's easy to see why.

Tom Kenny: So once again, the day is saved, thanks to Gizmoduck!

I was so glad I wasn't drinking coffee here, because I would have spit it out, got it all over my keyboard, and had yet another excuse to delay a review. It's been so long since I've heard anything like that in a current show, and I didn't expect to hear it here, of all places. Fenton asks around for those birefringent beam splitters, and someone helps him out.

This lady knows what that is, and throws it to him. Fenton just can't believe someone else would know what a birefringent beam splitter is, with the implication that he can't believe that it would be her in particular. She doesn't exactly call him out on it, but she does say that working with hard physics can be hard for a rookie.

Fenton defends himself, saying that he's actually scientist for McDuck Enterprises. Not impressed, she talks about how he's into "sellout science", and that she doesn't kiss up to zillionaires and play by any rules. Eventually, he claims that he's working on a dangerous project for himself, playing himself as if he had a dangerous personality, and, with both curiosity and extreme doubt, she wants to see his lab. Fenton just goes along with it, acting like he's the great inventor for Scrooge McDuck.

While this conversation is happening, a different kind of dot-connecting happens with Huey and Webby. Webby is confused about all of this, but the great student of the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook knows this has to be the romantic courting of adults. This one doesn’t have any separate B-plot, but it’s as close as we get here.

It doesn’t help their interpretation that this lady just took his phone and put her phone number in it, with her name, revealing her as this reboot's version of Gandra Dee. From what I can remember, and from what I could see from reading wikis, this is a very different character than the one from the original outside of the "love interest to Fenton Crackshell" part. So yeah, she bought it.

After the "animated character who only wears one outfit deciding between two identical suits" joke, Huey and Webby respond that he should dress to impress his new date. Fenton denies it, saying this is just a melding of the minds. Sure, it would eventually blossom into a relationship that will last as long as they live, but it's not a date!

M'Ma Cabrera shows up, and ends up giving him dating tips and a nice suit to wear for the date that used to be his father's. Also, if she breaks his heart, she promises to come and dismantle her life. She won't fulfill that promise...yet.

Turns out, it's not just Huey and Webby that's assuming this is a date and not the "melding of the minds" Fenton claims it is, as even Launchpad congratulates him on it. For the first time since Season 1, we see Launchpad being able to park his car after recklessly driving. After wrecking his car for the last few episodes we saw him driving it, it's good to see that gag come back.

Gandra Dee: Nice upgrade, Suit. Yeah, you’re definitely the bad boy of science.

Oh, please don’t remind me of that one episode of the other show. He still tries to play this off as a non-date, and doesn't help anything that the latest hit song that's playing on the radio is "It's A Date (Don't Let Him Fool You)". At least he's comforted, knowing that his "interns” are preparing "his" lab.

...and they prepared an Italian restaurant instead, much to Fenton's disapproval, as this was supposed to be "his" lab that he is totally not just an intern for. As for what happened to the actual inventor for McDuck Enterprises:

Gyro: (locked behind a door, banging) You will rue the day!

Webby shows up as the waiter, telling them about the special of the day: spaghetti! She then begs them to choose that, as that's all they made. Of course, they just want to recreate that scene from Lady and the Tramp. Gandra Dee doesn't have any interest in that spaghetti, and she has to walk away to answer a phone call.

They reveal pretty much right at this moment that Gandra is actually working for...oh, boy, Mark Beaks. I get his gimmick, but he was never a villain I felt joy in seeing. Not helping anything is that he's played as this stalker, constantly giving her phone calls.

She already said she works for herself, but could this just be a cover-up for her being a spy? Not helping anything is that, right before the commercial break, Gyro gets out of that door, and, out of pure instinct, she knocks out Gyro with an electric shock from her hands. How she does that will be explained later.

Beak is also drinking this blue stuff, which he will drink in almost every scene until they reveal what exactly it is. Chances are, considering he's drinking it out of glass vials, it's not Gatorade.

As an aside to all of that Italian restaurant stuff, Fenton gets to show off some of his inventions. There's no implication that at least some of these are actually Gyro's, so at least he seems honest about this. This includes a spray that makes anything taste like glazed donuts, and a solvent that melts anything but the hardest diamonds. Surprisingly, the latter doesn't really do that much in this episode. As for the former, she does ask this question:

Gandra: What if the person doesn't like glazed donuts?

Fenton: What kind of monster doesn’t like glazed donuts?

I can smell the callback from here! She shows off a few inventions of her own, telling him to look in her eyes and hold her hand on two separate occasions. Anyone can guess where that ends up with the "Huey and Webby's perfect date" plot. These actually turn out to be eye cameras and nanobot-powered way for her to use her body's electricity to shock people. Yeah, really showing you're not evil there.

Speaking of which, she then talks about how she's not like those pencil-pushers that talk...and then asks if there's a certain other word for talking. We then cut to Mark Beaks listening closely to this conversation. His patience runs out that getting only one of the words he needs, he decides to do a Plan B: infiltrate the lab himself.

The McDuck Manor’s security may not be as high as it was during the 87 Cent Incident, but he still has robot seagulls that shoot any intruder in sight with lasers.

Mark Beaks is this amazing laser dodger now, dancing around them to the tune of that "It's A Date" song from earlier. One thing that does fit him is that he takes out his phone and hacks into the seagulls.

In the middle of all of that, he dabs, because of course he does. Yes, this screenshot really needed to be by itself, and it also speaks for itself. Oh, that Beaks. Oh, and this line shows up, too, as soon as he gets into a vent.

Mark Beaks: (music stopping) What, no signal? Boo!

The importance of having a local music library instead of relying on streaming, a lesson brought to you by Disney.

Cutting back to the lab again, Fenton decides to show off his ultimate invention: a paddleball! We get the real Chekov's Gun for the episode here: the ball from the paddleball is made out of Fentonium, a frictionless material that actually gets faster every time it gets hit. It creates energy, it's named after him, and most importantly, it's dangerous. That's the word of the day for this episode.

They get back to that restaurant. Unfortunately, the spaghetti they rigged to force that kiss has come untied. Huey shows up to start singing as a distraction, while Webby tries to re-tie that spaghetti. Before she could, she notices a phone buzzing, with a message and a ton of voicemails from Mark Beaks, in the date's pocket. Any plans for potential romance are stopped here, needless to say.

After listening to those voicemails, no plot holes here, Webby reveals to Huey about the big plan: Gandra was sent to get her to record Fenton’s voice saying something that can be altered into “Blathering Blatherskite.” Huey gets Fenton, and while he can't believe he finally found someone who sees him as more than just Gizmoduck's not-so-secret identitty, he is none too happy to hear the bad news.

He's not even that mad about how she's a spy, though that certainly doesn't help, but that she ended up being yet another person that only sees him as the guy that turns into GizmoDuck. He eventually just outright says "blathering blatherskite", possibly by accident, possibly intentionally, I'm not sure which, and asks if this is what she wanted.

It turns out to be something someone else wanted. Mark Beaks shows up, and because Fenton just said the words, he doesn't even have to edit any recordings together when he just has that! That codeword activates the machinery in his body, including the nanites he's been drinking and stolen Gizmo tech, and even just one of them could give him strength beyond strength. He drank a bunch of those.

Yeah, that Mark Beaks, he sure knows the internet, whether it be desperately trying to be a memelord, or pandering to D...okay, fine, that joke is way too easy here. Also, insert a joke about a certain Metal Gear Rising villain here.

After Mega-Beaks shows off his massive pecs, GizmoDuck is left with no choice but to fight him. GizmoDuck mostly fights using the usual slapstick, using giant hammers, pies, and even an airhorn that doesn't make that infamous sound effect. Mega-Beaks, on the other hand, uses as much brute strength as TV-Y7-not-FV can allow. I guess since he's in a robot suit, they can get away with it.

One would expect after all of that stalker behavior from, Gandra would go up to that wannabe Adonis and give him the shock treatment, and when Webby uses her old fashioned camera’s flash to distract him long enough to give Gizmo the upper hand...

Gandra: I'm sorry, Suit.

That's not what really happens.

Half of this episode is just wondering if Gandra Dee is going to do a full-on mole reveal. She made her motives clear already: she'll do anything for science, but she doesn't work for anybody. She tries to pass this off, but Fenton, growing a spine, finally calls her out for being a crook. She leaves, her intentions never really becoming clear.

Mega-Beaks goes all King Kong with the kids, hanging off of his own building. He even says himself that this is all because he wants the attention.

This is where I'll just say watch the episode for the rest, as I already summarized enough. I will say it's not entirely predictable, but anyone could guess that Mega-Beaks will eventually lose his muscle.

Another thing anyone could guess is that Gandra eventually turns on Beaks...but her reasoning isn't entirely out of a desire to be good. Gandra Dee herself is an interesting character, and it could pay off in future episodes.

How does it stack up?

I liked this one. Not as much of a high Happy as the last episode, but a Happy nonetheless.

The next one is pretty big.

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