#olaf hits the dragon with his sword
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mayorpunk over on Reddit has put together a home-made physical boxed set for Olaf Hits the Dragon with His Sword. It never ceases to perplex me that a one-page RPG based on a Tumblr shitpost that I wrote in twenty minutes while spacing out in the shower has an actual fandom, but hell, I'll take it!
#gaming#tabletop roleplaying#tabletop rpgs#olaf hits the dragon with his sword#violence mention#swearing
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Me and my partner played @prokopetz‘s fantastic microgame Olaf Hits the Dragon with his Sword a while back, and liked it so much we played it three more times back to back. Highly, highly recommend.
#val art#olaf hits the dragon with his sword#indie ttrpg#dragons#i might mess around with color but this was my first digital peice after a year of only pencil sketching so i think i need to do a few#color studies first lmao#also yes each panal is a seperte game!!
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just played three mini ttrpgs with friends and i’m gonna think about these forever
#first was olaf hits the dragon with his sword. i was olaf. it was good.#second we played but did not finish a diner at the end.#i played a southern children’s piano teacher from the 90s named Angie. i adooooore her#third we played amongst the stars. and i have never cried like actually cried in character but. well. now i have#emelia my gay mathematician i love you and your funny socks to death#percy conveys character emotion by breaking down out of character asmr.
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Technically, @prokopetz’s Olaf Hits the Dragon With His Sword is a game where you play a dragon. You just also play the guy who’s come to slay it, or get a friend to do that.
An excellent addition to the Dragon List! I shall tag it accordingly.
Olaf Hits The Dragon With His Sword, by Penguin King Games.
Olaf Hits the Dragon with His Sword is a tabletop microgame for one or two players. It's about... well, pretty much what it says on the tin! You'll need at least four dice in each of six colours (the number of sides isn't terribly important, as long as they're all the same), or a dice-rolling app that supports colour-coded dice pools.
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Radical Catgirl Anarchy Version 1.1 and Olaf Hits the Dragon with His Sword Version 1.2 now available
This is a minor update that addresses portability issues in the previous versions of each game.
HTML versions no longer have an external dependency on Google Fonts API
HTML versions no longer require Internet access in order to correctly display Creative Commons logos
HTML versions now provided as zipfiles containing all required resources (i.e., rather than having to download the illustrations separately)
Radical Catgirl Anarchy and Olaf Hits the Dragon with His Sword are now available in EPUB format
The latest versions can be downloaded here:
https://penguinking.itch.io/radical-catgirl-anarchy
https://penguinking.itch.io/olaf-hits-the-dragon-with-his-sword
#gaming#tabletop roleplaying#tabletop rpgs#radical catgirl anarchy#olaf hits the dragon with his sword#violence mention
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Olaf Hits the Dragon with His Sword
Back in October my friend @unrepentantauthor and I played a round of @prokopetz's mini-RPG Olaf Hits the Dragon with His Sword. Today I noticed that every post about the game was made by someone playing solo, so (with my friend's permission) I'm posting our game as an example of what it looks like as a back-and-forth between two people.
They played Olaf; I played the Dragon.
OLAF, why have you come?
I am a knight sworn to defend the innocent, and to strike down evil beasts for the wrongs they have committed. The dragon has slaughtered countless people, and must die for it, if not by my sword, then by the hand of some other brave warrior to come. Today, the task falls to me. For I am capable, and I am here.
(+IRON)
As for THE DRAGON, what is your nature?
You speak of wrongs committed, little knight, and I do not deny them. I have shed the blood of the innocent and the wicked alike, the blameless man and the murderer; it was my power to do this, for I have taken this land and named it mine, and now all things live under my dominion and fall to their knees at the whisper of my presence. You are not the first knight to come here, seeking glory and heroism, speaking of the grief and pain I have caused; you are not the first knight whose bones will find their resting place in my hoard.
You name me DRAGON, O little knight who comes in iron, who seeks for vengeance and names it justice, but I name myself DEATH, I name myself DESTROYER, I name myself END OF ALL.
(+DEATH)
OLAF approaches THE DRAGON's lair.
If I must add my bones to your horde, so be it. I have shed blood every month of my life in service of my principles and my quests, and I have lost many precious things already. I have lost wealth to bad fortune. I have lost friends to irreconcilable faith. I have lost the best years of my youth to hard training. And I have lost finger, eye, and foot to past combats. Yet I have still more to give. I do not fear losing my life today.
(+SORROW)
THE DRAGON responds:
You do not fear death, and you believe you have the capability to vanquish me? What good is that iron shell of armour when the creature inside it has already halfway to death, having abandoned himself so to sorrow and sacrifice? You are weak, you little knight, you little fool, you pitiful thing with nothing to live for.
There is no justice in the iron of your sword; there is only death, yours or mine, and the foolishness of a man who has willingly abandoned so much. Your strength will one day come to an end, and when that day comes you will have nothing remaining to you.
You can never regain what you have lost. Lay down your sword, foolish knight. Melt down your armour and forge of its iron the shovel, the hoe, the plough. Abandon this futile endeavour.
(+IRON)
OLAF speaks:
I am confident in my steady hand, my keen eye, and my stalwart heart. I have slain monsters, and the prices I have paid are but costs, not failures. I may slay you today, and I would rather take my chance at doing so than retire to a profession of which I know nothing, to live out a life of vulnerability and humility. I will not expose myself to your predations, O Wyrm. I will do as I have done many times before, and shed your blood in service of my cause. I will be a credit to the name 'knight'.
(+AMBITION)
THE DRAGON responds:
It will be naught but the highest of honours, then, to be slain by such a man. I call it a great flattery, to know you hold my death so high in your esteem! A credit to the name of knight! A beast which slaughters in service of its cause, so accomplished in violence that it can conceive of naught else, who aspires so dearly to end life that it can never dream of creating something new.
How much blood is on your hands, knight? How many lives have you already ended? If I am to die then I go knowing it is at the hands of a dealer in death as great and terrible as I myself was in my prime.
(+AMBITION)
OLAF speaks:
How telling of your nature, that you should compare your slaughter to my vengeance. Do you truly see no difference between wanton and indiscriminate killing of the innocent, and the sanctioned ending of a violent life to prevent further suffering? Do not seek to make me doubt my just cause, when I have seen the ashes of the young and the bones of the meek left in your wake. Do not tell me of my bloodied hands when there is an ocean of blood in your maw. I will not waver. I will not stay my hand.
(+IRON)
THE DRAGON responds:
You are not the first to speak these words to me, knight, and I tell you now you shall not be the last. Look now upon my horde, these many suits of armour. See them battle-worn, once gleaming but gone now to rust and ruin, and know that within each of these iron shells lies a rotten sack of meat and bones, a thing which was once a man. I have been visited by more knights than you could ever count, though you may live a thousand years, and each of them came to me with your words in their mouth. They are long since forgotten, their stories untold and their names turned to dust. Yet I remain! I am the DRAGON, red and wrathful, greater than any; I have withstood armies, lain whole kingdoms to waste, outlived even the memories of those who aspired to destroy me. What are you compared to I, little knight, little morsel of meat whom I could end with the merest snap of my jaws.
I weary of this folly. Let us speak no more. Strike me down now, if you dare!
(+BLOOD)
OLAF HITS THE DRAGON WITH HIS SWORD
(roll: BLOOD 4, IRON 6 2 1, AMBITION 6 3, SORROW 2, DEATH 3. -1 IRON, -1 AMBITION. roll: BLOOD 1, IRON 5 3, AMBITION 3, SORROW 6, DEATH 5)
SORROW dominates. OLAF is left broken by his trials.
OLAF, speak of your wretchedness.
As I had known, but not allowed myself to fear, this was surely my final combat. I have sustained more wounds this day than any year of my life, and though I may yet survive, I will not live as I have done. My sword hand is lost, forever to remain in the belly of mine enemy. So too have I finally lost the courage that brought me here, poisoned to death by the words the DRAGON spoke to me ere I began our battle. This was my choice, but it is a choice I weep for. I am not only wounded, but old, and I shall be lucky to provide so much as an odd word of combat training to young squires, if I can even bring myself to do so. I am not yet dead, but I am diminished more by my survival than by any death the DRAGON could have given me.
DRAGON, speak of what comfort remains.
Olaf has lost both his sword hand and the unyielding courage which drove him forwards in his quest for justice. He is slower than he was, more hesitant, less certain, damaged in body and mind. He was not slain in battle, but he thinks his life is over all the same.
There is more to life than iron and death. There is grief and there is suffering. Olaf cannot stand to hear the songs written to commemorate his vanquishing of the dragon, and so when they are sung he listens instead to the laughter of children who no longer live in fear. He travels to villages the dragon had razed to the ground, and sees fresh green sprouts growing in what once was blasted wasteland. He wakes each night screaming, shuddering from nightmares, but there are gentle hands to sooth him and to hold him close.
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Okay hi so I couldn’t resist playing a round of Olaf Hits The Dragon With His Sword by myself after seeing the post about it and the results are under this cut
I am Olaf, son of the Moon Queen – may her memory be a blessing. Long have I journeyed, from one end of the world to the other, seeking the Dragon that laid waste to my mother’s kingdom when I was but a boy. The harsh sunlight glints off time-tarnished armor as I approach its palace on bare feet, the soles of my boots long worn away by the journey. I have the countenance of a beggar-knight, but in my heart I remember the glory from whence I came.
I am Olaf, and I seek revenge. (+1 Sorrow)
I am the Dragon, ancient and unknowable. Since before your ancestors crawled out of the mud, I have sat vigil over this world and all the stars above it. You are nothing to me, son of the Moon Queen, and your mother’s empire was nothing but a buzzing insect, a mere annoyance to one such as myself. They dared seek to rival my greatness with their gilded towers and war machines, and when they encroached on my territory I crushed them into dust.
I am the Dragon, and I am proud master of all I survey. (+1 Ambition)
Dragon, I have walked the world from end to end to be here. I have slain titans, battled leviathans, outwitted sphinxes all to see myself to the doors of your grand hall. Do not believe I will be deterred so easily. I carry in my hand a sword touched once by each of the gods of the North, and a shield blessed by the gods of the South, and I have trained with heroes of myth. For fifty years I have prepared myself for this moment. For fifty years I have endeavored to become the greatest warrior that ever was. (+1 Ambition)
Be that as it may, little moon-princeling, you face a far greater foe than you ever could have imagined. My grand hall is built on the bones of your forefathers, many of whom came just as prepared as you are. I’m sure you will find my hide as impenetrable, my claws as sharp, my breath as hot as they all did before you. Your mother once sent armies against me, armed with machines that spit metal and fire and stone across battlefields, and I destroyed them all with one sweep of my great wings. I am stronger than you think, princeling, and I do not intend to hold back. (+1 Blood)
It was not just armies you destroyed, dragon, but families and children as well. You spared nothing your wrath. When you came you razed farms, tore down cities, burned everything in your sights. I will never forget the day I saw my home reduced to ash, when your great wings blotted out the sky and the rivers ran red with blood. I am the last of my people, Dragon, and I will not allow you to forget your crimes against us. (+1 Iron)
Oh, princeling. What do you think you are here to accomplish? Steel and siege engines could not defeat me, and what are you? Just one old man with a sword? You are nothing, and you have devoted your fifty years to nothing. Run home, little prince of the moon, and live as the last of your people. Would it not be foolish to allow that legacy to die here? If you run now, I will let you go. I have a soft spot for the brave and foolish. (+1 Iron)
I am no fool, Dragon. I know that for all my years of preparation, I still may fail here, at the end of my journey. But it is my duty to try, that I be remembered a hero to my people, and not a coward who ran from his troubles. They will not sing songs of me, I think. There are so few people left to sing. But someone will remember that I tried. They have to. I will be remembered. (+1 Death)
Princeling. Olaf. I promise you, upon the earth on which we tread, upon the stars that I watched wink into being, I have seen both our deaths writ plain in the tapestry of fate. Kill me today, and you will never find the satisfaction and peace that you seek. You are doomed, Olaf. (+1 Death)
I do not seek peace, Dragon.
Olaf hits the Dragon with his sword.
Sorrow: 9
Ambition: 25
Blood: 5
Iron: 32
Death: 29
Behold, say I. The Dragon is defeated. I can, at last, return to the place of my birth and take up the work of rebuilding. I will gather the wanderers and landless of the world and from them I will build a new empire of the Moon, twice as grand as that which my mother ruled over. It will be glorious. It has to be.
Oh, but princeling. Empires aren’t built in a day, or a year, or a lifetime. And even when they are built, yours will never match that golden city that only ever existed in your memory. How well did you really know that place, coddled in the palace as you were. How well do you remember it now, with decades between you and it? Your recollection grows hazy and rose-tinted, and nothing you build will ever satisfy your conviction that it could be, should be better. Rest well for now, moon-prince, for you shall never be the king you wish to be.
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Reimu Resolves the Incident with her Sass
A Touhou Project hack of Olaf Hits the Dragon with his Sword
What You Need
A standard set of Olaf Dice will suffice. For a game of Reimu Resolves the Incident, they are:
Black dice of Meddling
Yellow dice of Avarice
White dice of Responsibility
Blue dice of Indifference
Red dice of Savagery
Green dice of Antics
One player takes the role of Hakurei Reimu, the Wonderful Shrine Maiden of Paradise and the number-one incident resolution specialist in the fantasy land of Gensokyo. The other player takes the role of the Incident, representing the latest in the long line of shenanigans which Reimu has long since accepted to be her life. (With just one player, play both roles.)
The Introduction
Begin with an empty dice pool.
The first question to answer is clear: What is the Incident?
The Incident should describe the latest strange happenings in Gensokyo. Examples include visiting hordes of demonic tourists, people’s emotions influencing the weather, a virulent outbreak of disco fever, et cetera.
Reimu selects three colours of dice which might describe the Incident. This is up to Reimu’s discretion.
The Incident selects one of the three dice offered by Reimu and adds it to the pool.
With the incident decided, we must then ask: Why is Reimu involved? Reimu should choose one of:
Someone won’t stop nagging her until she takes care of the Incident. Add one black die of Meddling to the pool.
The latest on the Gensokyo rumour mill says that the Incident is closely tied to a valuable magical item. Add one yellow die of Avarice to the pool.
At the end of the day, dealing with things like this is, technically, her actual job, and she should eventually get around to doing it. Add one white die of Responsibility to the pool.
She was having a very nice day off before this nonsense came looking for her and ruined it all, and now her plans are ruined. Add one blue die of Indifference to the pool.
Someone damaged or destroyed the shrine, again, and there must be a reckoning. Add one red die of Savagery to the pool.
Honestly, she was just looking for something to do, and it sounded like it’d be a good time. Add one green die of Antics to the pool.
The Incident does not add a die of their own at this step; they instead add an additional one when revealing the Instigator prior to the Conclusion.
The Complications
Once the nature of the Incident and Reimu’s motivation are established, it’s time for Reimu to get to work. Before she can discover the Instigator and put an end to the Incident, Reimu must face several Complications.
The Incident should choose one of:
An acquaintance or bystander thinks they know how Reimu’s supposed to be do her job and picks a fight with her when she objects. Add one black die of Meddling to the pool.
Someone thinks this is the perfect time to try and steal the power of the Hakurei Shrine and attacks Reimu. Add one yellow die of Avarice to the pool.
One of Gensokyo’s authority figures has a vested interest in the Incident and wants Reimu to back off. Add one white die of Responsibility to the pool.
Reimu walks right into a trap after paying no heed to any warnings she was offered. Add one blue die of Indifference to the pool.
An arrogant youkai wants to see if the shrine maiden lives up to her hype. Add one red die of Savagery to the pool.
The plural noun form of “fairy” really ought to be “nuisance”, and Reimu is swept up in the latest tide of nonsense. Add one green die of Antics to the pool.
Presented with the Complication, Reimu should choose a means of overcoming it:
Reimu cooperates with a friend or acquaintance to resolve the situation. Add one black die of Meddling to the pool.
Reimu calls in a favour, or offers a slightly stingy bribe. Add one yellow die of Avarice to the pool.
Reimu draws upon her extensive experience as an incident resolver to handle the matter with almost unsettling efficiency. Add one white die of Responsibility to the pool.
Reimu decides she doesn’t have time for this and just ignores whatever’s in her way. Add one blue die of Indifference to the pool.
Reimu’s danmaku will blot out the sun. Add one red die of Savagery to the pool.
Reimu has long since learned the value of being able to beat someone at their own game. If it’s shenanigans they want, it’s shenanigans they’ll get. Add one green die of Antics to the pool.
After overcoming three Complications, we then proceed to the root of the Incident.
The Conclusion
Now it’s finally time for Reimu to discover who is responsible for the Incident? The Incident should choose one of:
A well-meaning but misinformed idiot. Add one black die of Meddling to the pool.
Invaders from an Otherworld hoping to take advantage of something in Gensokyo. Add one yellow die of Avarice to the pool.
A self-styled wise mentor trying to teach Reimu some kind of lesson. Add one white die of Responsiblity to the pool.
Someone who genuinely didn’t even know they were causing an incident. Add one blue die of Indifference to the pool.
A powerful being acting out for the attention. Add one red die of Savagery to the pool.
An ancient youkai almost as powerful as they are bored. Add one green die of Antics to the pool.
With the Instigator revealed, it’s finally time. Reimu Resolves the Incident with her Sass.
Roll all the dice in the pool, and find the colour with the single highest die. (If multiple colours are tied, remove all with the highest result until a single winner remains, or the pool is empty.
If Meddling dominates, the Instigator is defeated but takes a personal interest in Reimu.
Reimu, describe their ironic downfall.
Incident, describe how you plan to bother her next.
If Avarice dominates, Reimu seizes the Instigator’s instruments of power.
Reimu, describe how you use them to better your life.
Incident, describe how this inevitably backfires.
If Responsibility dominates, the Incident is resolved straightforwardly.
Reimu, describe how you clean up the last of the mess.
Incident, describe why it’s unfulfilling.
If Indifference dominates, Reimu sets everyone straight and returns to her shrine to rest.
Reimu, describe how you spend your well-deserved break.
Incident, describe what inevitably interrupts it.
If Savagery dominates, Reimu defeats the Instigator and everyone else in her path.
Reimu, describe the totality of your victory.
Incident, describe the frustrations of everyone she fought who wasn’t actually involved.
If Antics dominates, everyone gets together for a party afterwards.
Reimu, describe the good times you have.
Incident, describe the problems she causes along the way.
If the pool is empty and no colour dominates, the entire incident was an elaborate ruse, and everyone involved gets dunked on by Mima.
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Since people have been posting their games of Olaf Hits The Dragon With His Sword, and since I love indulging in a bit of purple prose now and then, I ran a game of my own for a bit of fun. Results under the cut!
And it came to pass, so the songs tell us, that in days of old there was a warrior named Olaf, whose prowess was mighty and whose deeds were great. With a stroke of his sword he could split a boulder in two; he could set his shield against a hurricane and not be stirred an inch. Monsters and devils that plagued the ordinary folk were game to him, and wheresoever he went the broken remains of those foolish enough to stand against him were strewn in his wake, for it was meet that a warrior of such great ability might set forth to earn fame and fortune by the strength of his arm. [+1 AMBITION]
At length he came to a land beset by the depredations of a great dragon. No ordinary wyrm this; its foul breath could wither fields of crops entire, and the passing of its shadow was known to strike strong folk dead with stark terror. Its ravenousness could not be sated, for it set forth with cold malice to devour, wither and rot all in its path—some said that it would, in time, devour the entire world. [+1 DEATH]
Hearing of the dire beast, Olaf went forthwith to the deep, yawning cavern in which it was reputed to make its lair. Standing in the last pale traces of sunlight, he took a great breath and bellowed into the deep darkness, “Beast of the unholy depths! Ravener of the lands, slaughterer of the good folk! I am Olaf, and I come with wrath and blade to end your terror! My fury shall clip your wings; my might shall split your thick hide asunder and peel the rotten meat from off your bones! And when you lie dead at my feet, I shall take your skull as a trophy, to proclaim to all the world the righteous wrath with which Olaf deals with such monsters!” [+1 BLOOD]
With in the depths, the pale dragon stirred and replied with a voice that was a whisper of doom: “High honor indeed! To be visited upon by such a man! A man of accomplished violence, a man of blood and tears who has left countless bereaved weeping in his wake! No better end can I conceive of than to be slain by a man who makes death his life!” [+1 AMBITION]
“Forgo your false pleasantries, beast!” Olaf said. “I have conquered all who have stood before me. I wrestled the great serpent that lived in the Lake of Shadows and tore its head from its neck; the giant of the Whispering Woods I smote at the knees so that he knelt before me to receive my deathblow; the armies of the Iron Castle scattered before me. Think you that you shall fare any better, pale worm? I am the great ender of your kind!” [+1 AMBITION]
“Spoken well,” replied the dragon. “But pretty words hide foolishness as gilt does plain iron, and thy foolishness runs deep, o Olaf. For art though not but the latest of many to proclaim invincibility in the hour of thy greatest mortal peril? History is littered with the unsung skulls of thy forbears, Olaf; they await yours to join them!” [+1 IRON]
“Unsung?” said Olaf. “Nay, not unsung I, for already my legend is known throughout many lands, carried on grateful tongues. I fear not death, dragon, for one dies only when they are remembered no longer, when their deeds are no longer sung in the great halls. Fall here I may, yet the memory of Olaf the mighty shall endure even unto the ending of the world.” [+1 DEATH]
The dragon’s laughter rattled the stone of the cave. “Unto the ending of the world? All things have their time, mighty Olaf, all things die, even memory, even the world itself. Triumph or fall here, it matters not; in the end, thy flesh and bones shall become dust, thy glory rubble, thy memory a faded curiosity. Fight, Olaf, but the end awaits you nonetheless.” [+1 DEATH]
Olaf hit the dragon with his sword.
[ROLL: 1 red, 1 black, 3 gold, 3 white. DEATH dominates.]
The blow rang out, dashing the dragon’s body down where it was broken on the cold stone of the cavern floor, and setting the walls shaking. The tremors brought great boulders crashing down upon the entrance to the cavern, where they shut out every last drop of sunlight, plunging the two adversaries into utter darkness.
“And so the site of my greatest glory is to be my tomb as well,” Olaf said. “I am satisfied; it makes a fitting end to my song. For ages yet to come, folk will sing of the might of Olaf and the foes he slew, how he was a hero without peer on the face of the earth.”
Laughter shuddered from the dragon’s carcass as the last drops of life bled out of it. “A hero they shall name thee, and a hero they shall misname thee, Olaf with a mind of blood and gold. Thou never didst care for anything but thy own fame and fortune, and thou never didst resolve a quarrel but by drawing steel and drawing blood. Thou wast a scourge on the land as surely as I, Olaf, and in time the bloody hands of those such as thee shall tear down all that is good in the world...”
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So I decided to give this mini RPG Olaf Hit’s the Dragon With His Sword a go. Because writing exercises are always fun.
Once Upon a Time there was a Knight named Olaf. He was not the strongest knight, nor the fiercest Knight. But he had a sense of righteousness in his heart. A dream to be something better than all the useless lords who lazed about and paraded around in armor. The day came when he heard the Dragon had come. A monster responsible for no small amount of death and destruction. There was no other option in his heart. Olaf gathered his squires, donned his armor, polished his sword, and set out to meet the dragon. (+Iron)
Once upon a time there was the Dragon. A terrible monster of scale and flame. He was a creature who desired to take. And take. And take more. Everything he did was to add to his growing horde of gold, of meat and wine, a horde of lives. Each thing taken was a precious treasure. (+Envy)
Olaf entered the Dragon's lair. It was not a ruined empty cave but a grand palace the size of a mountain. The great hall filled with treasure beyond imagining. At the head of this hall sat a throne, made gold and silk. Curled around it was none other than the Dragon. He knew Olaf was coming, and welcomed the knight into his halls.
"Dragon! How many lives have you ruined? How many children have you made orphans? Wives made widows, villages to graveyards? Your greed and bloodlust have been a blight upon this land for too long. History has no record of your beginning, but it shall have a record of the time you face punishment for your crimes." (+Iron)
"Oh foolish Knight. Do you think you are the first to claim justice against me? I have seen many a hero come to my feet. Proclaim my wickedness and then perish by my flame or my claws. You are no different. Come, face your end." (+Death)
"Do you think I do not know that I might die? I traveled here with many squires. The lower beasts who follow you like vultures were beset upon us. Many stronger and more dangerous then any man could hope to match. Each one rose to the cause, and fought and bled and died so that we might reach you. I shall remember each of their names, memorializing them as your final victims." (+Sorrow)
"And so you reveal the hypocrisy of men. You lead the young to their dooms for your own chance at glory. Come now Knight, you desire not justice but fame and wealth. You crave my gold like all your fellows who grow fat on the labor of the poor and downtrodden. I shall give you one final chance to live, Knight, because slaying the foolish brings me no pleasure. I shall give you one quarter of my gold, enough treasure to fuel a kingdom. Leave me be and you will finally have the power to make your ambitions come true." (+Envy)
"You think that would tempt me!? You think that after all this I would just give up? Come home knowing the torment you'd spread upon the land? I could not face myself in this life nor the next for such a thing. I shall destroy you and all the pain you have caused. Every coin will go to others, I shall take none. Your legacy will be scattered to the ends of the earth, with no trace remaining." (+Blood)
"Impressive. Perhaps you do have a bit more spine then most men. Or perhaps more foolishness. I shall savor your end, Knight. The blood of a virtuous man is perhaps the sweetest treasure of all." (+Ambition)
The time for talking was over, Olaf had reached the throne. Fire was visible in the Dragon's eyes. He raised his weapon, the Dragon bared his claws, and
OLAF HITS THE DRAGON WITH HIS SWORD
BLOOD 1: 19
IRON 2: 7
AMBITION 1: 8
SORROW 1: 15
ENVY 2: 20
DEATH 1: 5
"I have defeated you, Dragon. Now I sit upon your throne. The riches you offered sit before me. I shall take these riches and use them to build a kingdom of righteousness. No child shall starve. No person shall suffer. Your gold will not sit useless, but shall be used to make every man woman and child live a better better."
"Oh foolish Knight. Do you think your fellow knights will accept this? Their own wealth relies on there being the poor, the downtrodden, to exploit and grow fat upon. Your lords and kings shall all turn on you, try to take your new kingdom for themselves. And you will turn your blade on them, hording the treasure you have claimed to protect it from those who would steal it. Those you defeat you shall claim as your own, by the same justice you have claimed my own riches. You shall give it away less and less. Guard it more and more to safeguard your dream. Until one day you will awake to the truth that you are now the Dragon."
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So I decided to tackle prokopetz’ mini-RPG Olaf Hits The Dragon With His Sword. Except that I couldn’t figure out what the format was, so I rolled for that too, and ended up with an epic saga war song, Also I rolled d6s for every response that Olaf and The Dragon made, because I honestly could not figure out what story I wanted to tell. And then, after I wrote it, I sang it. Here’s Olaf, In Wrath, Approaches.
Olaf, in Wrath, approaches.
Steps like thunder on the ground,
shadows writhing all around.
Ignited fires in the air,
Olaf approaches.
He is wrath,
he is might,
he drags his sword down by his side,
Ploughing a furlough in the ground,
Olaf approaches.
Storms are quieter than his voice,
shadows flee from his annoyance
His words are stoked by fires inside,
Olaf, of Wrath, approaches.
"Dragon!"
"I have words for thee!"
"I have come to fight you,"
"Leave your lair to meet with me!"
"I will destroy you,"
"You buried my town, you withered my crops!"
"You froze my fields, you killed my dogs!"
"Recite your words and die today!"
"I say my wrath, my hate is greater!"
(+Blood)
DRAGON:
Finally, a figure of my past comes to meet me,
But he's a fragile man now.
Olaf, you are just relearning how to burn.
Reborn in flames, for another first time.
But maybe you can be
the one to finally understand me.
I am Loss, I am lost,
I must earn
Something again to light my fire,
Some way I can't define
I lost my flight to a knight of your land,
Do you remember him? I'm lost inside...
O, my partner... how we flew...
in skies above the sky,
and "strong" men took him,
they trapped him,
and they used him for his faerie light.
My fire now is ice.
Olaf, you are outmatched now.
You got older and tired.
And ice stays the same
Forever.
(+Sorrow)
---
Olaf, Of Wrath, approaches.
"I come forth to fight you!
And I shall not turn back!
I have burned my bridges behind me!
eft lands I loved a wreck!"
"Dragon! Do you remember..."
"Long ago I was a hero,
I found a sword after a quest,
I returned, I taught my legend,
Then I settled in to rest."
"I reforged my sword long ago,
Turned it into a plough;
For the monsters I cut down,
I planted seeds all around."
"For each ruin that I defiled,
I put new chests in domiciles,
For warriors old and heroes new,
I put barriers up to you -
so that no one could disturb you...
It was the least I could do for you, my old friend...
I'm sad to hear of his demise,
but you shouldn't have touched me or mine,
I've done my time, I've paid my dues,
Why did you do what you do?"
"You burned them all,
You burned it all.
You burned it all.
You burned it all..."
(+Sorrow)
---
DRAGON:
Can I make it up to you, Olaf?
There are trees inside my lair.
I have grown beside them since I was young,
since before even you had hair.
I could restore the land to what it came from,
ice is water, just bound.
Put down your sword, we could go forward,
We don't have to do this go-round.
I have all the world's riches in my hoard.
I took coins but I kept each loved thing safe.
I've had my loss, I won't do more,
Put down your sword, we could go forward.
Olaf, I could give you everything back and more.
I've had my loss, I won't do more,
Put down your sword, we could go forward.
You could have my hoard, and be adored.
Olaf.
...Olaf. Wait. Olaf! Wait!
(+Envy)
---
Olaf, in wrath, approaches.
"Dragon!
I have prepared to meet with thee!
I brought with me all the ritual items!"
"With my preparation
I will give thee
an eternal separation
from his side!"
"Dragon!
I come to lift thee
not from this world
but from your strength,
what would be worse but not acting
I could leave your fire as ice untamped.
I could do what I could to help you,
but you've shown how you repay my help -
So talk, or I'll leave my sword pinned in your hide,
you'll not be born again, he'll forever search for your light,
but he'll never find
you."
"Maybe one day he'll find his way back to you,
but by then you'll be lost in time,
maybe you'll burn him
maybe you'll freeze him
and you'll know who he is just before he dies."
(+Blood)
---
DRAGON:
Olaf, do you think I am young?
I was fledged before you were grown.
You helped me, that's a certainty,
but I've been around since before you were born.
I was a king before you were an infant,
I've seen the world before humans were here.
You threaten, but I am greater,
Your sword, my ice, who will prevail?
(+Blood)
---
OLAF:
"Dragon!
You have lived more long years,
but most of them you spent asleep.
While I have lived each minute doing *something*,
I've lived more life each day than you've in centuries.
Before your flight to freeze my land,
When did you last leave your lair?
He was with you, I was with you,
We found the world was fair.
My sword - you know what it does,
I got your love to it reforge.
Dragonforged plough-to-sword.
It's the last thing, it's the last thing you'll have of him -
And all this world's spirits know me,
I've travelled since we parted,
far and long.
With just one word, you know I'll be heard,
And we'll be done, dragon.
We'll be done."
(+Ambition)
---
DRAGON:
Then you know that nothing of his will hurt me,
He spoke it with his dying breath.
He was an artist, he was a blacksmith,
he knew that someone would use his work against me.
Oh, Olaf, you are foolish,
Did you count on that to work?
Come on, hit me, hit me with your sword,
Has it spent too long as a plough?
You could give it to me and I would return you
all the things that I have stolen.
You're right, it's the last thing
I have of him,
Give it to me, Olaf.
You were my friend and his, and the spirits
were raised my me and then, my love.
You speak that word and you'll be undone.
Be smarter, come on, Olaf.
You're advancing on me now, Olaf.
Fires in your eyes.
Hit me, Olaf. HIT ME, OLAF!
Come on, let's see what that sword can do!
(+Iron)
---
OLAF:
Blood x3: 17
Sorrow x2: 14
Ambition: 15
Envy: 12
Iron: 2
---
OLAF:
I put down my sword years ago
So I wouldn't be tempted to fight,
To roam the land and cut down people
in monstrous skins.
This world doesn't need a hero,
It doesn't need a strong man,
It needed peace, it needed hope,
It needed rivers to flow and trees to grow.
But my sword is pinned down in his hide.
my temptation is too strong to fight.
I roam the land and cut down monsters
in people's skin
and the people cheer me for it.
Revolutions like storms ravage, both false and real
Until I'm dead I know the land will never heal -
my crops are blood, my dogs are war
my fields are death, my town hunger -
The shadows writhe at night
with the dragon's eyes still
watching me.
I know that the dragon's lover will be reborn.
I'll hunt him down and I'll raise him.
And one day I'll walk him to the base
of where I left the dragon's skin.
Will the dragon kill him?
I don't know,
I'll leave it to his lover now,
I'll raise his fairy love,
the best I can...
But there's hate in my heart.
There's hate in my heart,
there's hate in my heart,
there's hate in my heart --
DRAGON:
"If you
Think of wrath,
you think of hate,
time will pass at a faster rate,
but is it worth it?"
"Is it worth it?"
"If you
think of wrath,
you think of hate,
at the end of your path,
just dig two graves -"
"Was it worth it?"
"Is it worth it?"
"If you have power,
you will use it,
A final hour
win or lose it,"
"Was it worth it?
I watch him
Is it worth it?
with my eyes open
Will it be worth it?
Coming at me -
Olaf, in Wrath, approaches.
#olaf hits the dragon with his sword#prokopetz#war song#song#original#epic saga#olaf in wrath approaches#poetry#jesus christ this song went all over the place#fuck it first take#i'll have to give it a proper prose try at some point
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Hey, folks. Cerebos: The Crystal City and Costume Fairy Adventures are 50% off for itch.io's Creator Day Sale. The preceding link leads to a bundle containing everything that's on sale, but you can also get the same discount on each item individually by clicking through to it.
Cerebos is a surrealist travelogue game written by Zach Welhouse (and edited by me) about a group of amnesiac travellers riding a train to the titular Crystal City, with plenty of strange stops along the way.
Costume Fairy Adventures, meanwhile, is one of the earliest games I worked on from back in 2013; it's about, well, fairies. In costumes. Having adventures. (Look, I freely admit it's not a creative title.)
If you've ever been terribly curious to check out either one, now's your chance. All of my smaller games (Radical Catgirl Anarchy, Olaf Hits the Dragon with his Sword, Jellyfish Felonies, Sinister Hovering Orb, and To Serve) are already pay-what-you-want, so there's no sense putting them on sale, but they are included in the "100% of all sales go to the creator" thing that's running today, so if you just happened to pay what you want today in particular, that sure would be convenient!
#gaming#tabletop roleplaying#tabletop rpgs#cerebos: the crystal city#costume fairy adventures#radical catgirl anarchy#olaf hits the dragon with his sword#jellyfish felonies#sinister hovering orb#to serve#penguin king games#spam#violence mention#itch.io n#itch.io november 2022 creator day sale
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Hey everyone, just wanted to let you know that over the weekend I participated in 24-Hour Comics Day and completed a full comic based on a game by @prokopetz called Olaf Hits the Dragon with His Sword. I’ll be uploading one page per day, first page is here!
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decided to play Olaf hits the dragon with his sword
to spice it up a little, I rolled a d6 to decide which theme to go with each time.
Glory&Ambition
Olaf tells his hired hands to hang back and boldly approaches the mouth of the cave. He does not try to be sneaky about it. He bangs his sword against his shield and calls out “Dragon! Come face me, you coward! I have come to slay you!” The hirelings cringe, Olaf has more ambition than sense. Having grown up middle child of 10, Olaf wants nothing more than to finally be noticed and recognized. If not by his parents, then by the whole town of Riverweft. He has spent every moment he could spare off the farm doing odd jobs to raise the money for this sword and armor and entourage, but soon there will be a festival in his name. He will be beloved by all. He will want for nothing. And he will FINALLY shut his smug older brothers up.
War&Blood
Deep within the cave, but not as deep as one would hope, a scaled behemoth stirs at the sound of Olaf’s voice. It emits a low growl of annoyance and burps a bit of smoke along with the remnants of its lunch. Olaf’s shouting is nothing but a nuisance to this creature, this entity. It has lived for longer than Riverweft has existed. It has seen kingdoms rise and fall; often, they fell because the dragon wished them to. It could kill a man in a single motion, and had done so on countless occasions. Sometimes for territory, sometimes for food, sometimes just for fun. It clambers over the bones from a hundred scoured towns, and approaches the source of the disturbance. It expects an army must have been sent by the neighboring kingdom to finally try to stop it from pillaging, but is astounded to see just one man shouting at it’s doorway.
Sacrifice&Sorrow
The dragon approaches Olaf menacingly, and his shouting wavers at the sight- but only for a moment. “Dragon! I am here to slay you! I have devoted my life to training and working towards this goal. I have missed out on many of life’s pleasures. I’ve never felt true love and I have few friends; I have little time in my day for socializing. Every morning I awake, I work the farm to provide for my family, and then I work for the town to provide for myself. I have calluses on my hands and blisters on my heels. I have missed every holiday, the birth of my nieces and nephews, their first steps, their funerals. But it will all be worth it to see the look on their faces when I return with your head in my hands!”
Strength&Blood
The dragon, for it’s part, seems to have paid little attention to Olaf’s tale. It cranes it’s long neck down to his level and blows a puff of smoke in his face before replying, “Human, this story has done nothing to move me. Every day you must toil to gain even the slightest fraction of the power I have. What would take you months to accomplish, I could destroy in one breath, on a whim. I have killed countless career soldiers- trained by the best, equipped with the best. I have crushed advanced war machines, defeated sorcerers with devilish magic. And yet a little farm boy playing dress up thinks he will have my head. Preposterous. I will make short work of you.”
Justice&Iron
Olaf shifts his grip on his sword, looking for a weakness in the Dragon’s hide to strike. “Do not tell me of your sins thinking it will make me more impressed by you. We have all heard the stories of your exploits. The people of Riverweft grow up in terror. Every joy is tinged with the fear it will be taken from us. Farms have been razed, livelihoods destroyed, good men killed. Your shadow is cast over everything we do. But it will be cast no longer.”
Praise&Ambition
The dragon can tell that this human is buying time, trying to come up with a plan. “Very well, human. Perhaps you aren’t as stupid as I initially believed. Do not think you can outwit me though. I see the calculating look as you speak to me. And while your bravery surprises me, it will not be enough. All it means is that it might take 10 minutes for me to kill you instead of 5.”
Rememberance&Death
Olaf sighs, but does not lower his sword. “Be that as it may, as long as I at least weaken you my life will not be in vain. I have brought along a bard to inform the town of what transpires here in the event I do not return. My hope is that by hearing that even a simple farmer was able to wound you, the townsfolk will see you as what you really are. Not a monster, not immortal, but a creature that bleeds. If my death can at least be an example to lessen the fear of the townsfolk. That will be worth it. If it can be an inspiration that brings them to arms against you, that will be more than I can hope for.”
Prophecy&Death
“These are pretty words, little one. But this endeavor is in vain. Your fate was sealed the moment you took up the blade. I will make swift work of you, and then your bard and hirelings as well. No one other than me will return to the town of Riverweft. And when they see me, whole and healthy, descend upon their houses and temples, they will know that they are hopeless against me. Your quest has accomplished nothing but drawing my ire. The town’s fear will be redoubled, and when they remember you- if they remember you at all- it will be with bitterness.”
Olaf Hits the Dragon with His Sword.
Neither Olaf nor the Dragon are ever heard from again.
The bard survives the bloody battle, and scurries back to the town of Riverweft. There he is met by the fearful townsfolk, all expecting the worst. The bard regales them with a tale of an epic battle, of both wits and blades, evenly matched between Olaf and the Dragon. When the dust settled, both lay dead at the mouth of the cave. Olaf’s family wept while the rest of the town rejoiced and announced a national holiday. Each year, everyone takes a day off work in Olaf’s honor.
The irony of this is not lost on the Dragon, whose spirit still harmlessly watches Riverweft. Olaf, who never took a day off in his life, is honored forevermore with revelry and relaxation. Yes, his deeds are remembered, but no one truly knew him enough to remember him.
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Hey! Look what Scampir and I made! It’s a game!
Based off the inimitable “Olaf Hits the Dragon With His Sword” by Penguin King Games, We Attack and Shatter the Throne is a hopeful game about systems of oppression and the people who fight against them.
The game is completely free on Itch and only 6 pages long, so feel free to pick up a copy! If you end up playing it, shoot me a message about how it went! We’d love to hear about your experiences.
Even if you don’t, feel free to spread this around. The more the merrier, after all!
#prokopetz#genevieve makes games#olaf hits the dragon with his sword#we attack and shatter the throne#tabletop RPGs#ttrpgs#tabletop roleplaying
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Accessibility Update 1.1
Heya, folks. Olaf Hits the Dragon with His Sword has been updated to add several requested accessibility features. In brief:
The PDF version now includes semantic tagging and an explicitly specified reading order
The outline around the word "Death" in the PDF version has been made a half-point heavier for improved legibility
An issue involving duplication of tagged text for the aforementioned word art has been resolved
Both the PDF and HTML versions now include descriptive text for all embedded images and expansion text for all acronyms
If you run into any issues with this update, don't hesitate to let us know!
#gaming#tabletop roleplaying#tabletop rpgs#olaf hits the dragon with his sword#violence mention#death mention
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