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hearts-hunger · 26 days

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evergreen — part three

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Series Summary: Jake takes you on your first vacation to the cabin the gang stays at every year. When memories of past relationships loom heavy, will this vacation send cracks through the foundation of safety and trust you have in each other?

Chapter Summary: You try to take your friends' advice and talk to Jake, but it doesn't go the way you hope.

Pairings: Jake x Reader, Josh x Baby, Sam x Danny | Genre: angst, hurt/comfort | Word Count: 2.4k | Warnings: the devil's lettuce, arguing, non-graphic smut (minors begone!), hate sex? sort of?, uncertain feelings around sex, mentions of infidelity

A/N: Yes I posted the last chapter this morning no I am not upset that I have another chapter for you tonight. I hope you like it! There's a lot to unpack in here! ♡

Jake was replacing a string on his acoustic when you went back to the basement, tapping his foot to the beat of the song the guys were working on.

“Hey, Jake?”

He looked up. “Yes, my love.”

You gathered up your courage, remembering what Baby had said. “You want to take a walk? It’s nice out.”

“Sure. Let me finish this real quick.” He restrung the guitar and set it in its stand, happily taking your hand when you offered it. You told the guys you were leaving for a bit and started out on your walk, leaves crunching under your feet and birds flitting to and fro in the branches overhead.

“Where are we going?” he asked, swinging your joined hands between you.

“Nowhere in particular, I guess,” you said. “I just wanted to spend time with you.” And talk about your ex, you thought, but you couldn't say it out loud.

He smiled. “Okay. Suits me. I know somewhere we can go, if you want to do some tree climbing.”

“You know, I think I do,” you said dryly. “It’s always been my dream.”

He laughed. “We don't have to if you don't want to. But let me take you over there, and then we can decide.”

Conversation wandered aimlessly, comfortingly, as you walked together in the chilly woods. Jake spoke animatedly of a new song, thankfully not the love song he’d apparently given up on, and you watched his expression and loved the light of passion you saw in his beloved features.

You came to a group of three trees growing practically on top of each other; nestled in the branches was a platform of old wooden boards like the floor of an unfinished tree house. Nailed into the trunk of the trees was a makeshift ladder, and Jake stopped at the foot of it.

“Oh, Jake, you shouldn't have,” you teased.

He grinned. “I told you I knew a place. Come on.”

He helped you up to the platform, steadying you as you climbed a dozen feet off the ground. You were a little worried about the structural integrity of the platform, but Jake assured you it was sound, and you knew he wouldn't take you somewhere dangerous.

When you were satisfied that Jake has gotten rid of any immediate threat from spiders and other woodland critters, you lay on your backs and looked up at the bare branches overhead, watching the last of the amber leaves hang on valiantly in the breeze.

“Close your eyes for a minute,” he said.

You frowned, and he chuckled as he brushed his fingers over your cheek. “Trust me, sparrow. Close your eyes and listen.”

You did, breathing deeply of the cold, clean air, listening to the chatter of squirrels and birds as they wandered about the woods. A single, musical cricket played a lonesome serenade somewhere below you, chirping and trilling to find a companion.

“It’s music,” Jake said softly. “You hear it?”

A faint smile tipped the corners of your mouth. “I hear it.” You opened your eyes to see him propped up on his arm beside you, watching you with such affection you thought you could get lost in it forever and always be content.

“You like it out here?” he asked.

You nodded. “I love it.” You reached up and tucked his hair behind his ear, letting your touch linger. “Thanks for bringing me.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He turned his head to kiss your wrist. “I found it last year, and I’ve decided it’s a good little love nest.”

You let your hand fall. A sharp, painful something twisted in your chest, and all of a sudden, you didn't care how oblivious he was — that one hurt.

“A love nest?” you said weakly, your voice coming out less sharply than it felt inside.

He smiled, and it made the hurt worse. “Yeah. For you, little sparrow. And I guess I can be a jaybird. Jake-bird. You see the vision.”

You sat up, wishing you could hear the silly jokes you usually loved as something other than inane chatter. He brushed the leaves out of your hair.

“No Jake-bird, then?” he asked.

You curled your hands into tight fists. “I need to talk to you about something.”

He sat up next to you. “Okay,” he said, still lighthearted. “Talk to me. You want to switch rooms again? Do a night in every bedroom?”

“I’m being serious, Jake. And I don’t want to fight,” you added, trying to preempt any argument, feeling like it might already be a losing battle. “I just need you to listen to me.”

“I’m listening to you, sparrow.” Though you couldn't see his face, you could picture the mix of confusion and concern in his expression. “When do I not listen to you?”

Part of you knew it was unfair to accuse him of not listening to you on this trip, seeing as you'd never actually said anything about it, but you couldn't get past the desire for him to know without you having to tell him.

He leaned closer. “Sparrow. What could we possibly have to fight about?”

“No, I said I didn't want to fight.”

“Yeah, I know. I don't want to either, so I’m not sure why you’d even bring it up.”

You took a deep breath. “I need to talk to you about Izzy.”

You felt him stiffen beside you. He didn't say anything for a moment, absently picking up a few acorns and tossing them over the edge of the platform.

“What about her?” he finally asked, and his voice was flat.

You looked over at him.

“You brought her the last time you came to the cabin,” you said.

He nodded. “Yeah. Still not sure what there is to say about that, though. She was my girlfriend at the time. I took her on the trip where everybody brings their partners. So what?”

You swallowed. “So, you picked the same room for us that you stayed in with her.”

He frowned, like that hadn’t ever occurred to him. “I guess.” He met your eyes, and the understanding you needed to see there was nowhere to be found. “Is that why you were so all-fired to switch rooms?”

You couldn't believe this wasn't clicking for him. Maybe he was being intentionally dense, and that thought made you mad.

“Yes!” you said fervently. “Jake, are you serious? I don't want to stay in the room you slept in with her.”

His expression was guarded, defensive. “Well, we switched, so I'm not sure what the problem is.”

Before you could say anything else, he started to climb down from the platform, and you had the distinct, infuriating sense of being dismissed. You followed him down and caught up with him, walking with him back to the cabin.

“We stayed in there last night,” you said, unwilling to let him end your conversation when he decided he wanted it to be over. “And then you tried to get in my pants this morning, but you had no clue why I didn't want you to.”

He grimaced. “Don’t say it like that. ‘Get in your pants’. I hate that. Makes me sound like a creep.”

“Fine,” you said waspishly, feeling that this talk that was supposed to be so easy was quickly devolving into what you’d feared it would. “You wanted to make love to me, whatever you want to call it. Doesn't change the fact that it was in the same bed you've done that with someone else.”

“Okay, so, it wasn't the most intelligent move on my part,” he said, the admission made lackluster by his frustrated tone. “But you could have said something if you were uncomfortable. I'm not a mind reader, sparrow.”

That was a salient point, one he’d had to make frequently in your previous arguments, and it chafed you raw now just as much as it had every other time he’d made it. You chose to ignore it in favor of letting your jealousy and anger run wild.

“And then you went on and on about how great she is at things I'm bad at,” you said, “and — ”

“No I didn't,” he protested, angry now. “Don’t make shit up. I said she was good at Pac-Man. If that makes you jealous, that's on you.”

“And then,” you said, pointedly ignoring that too, “you took me to your love nest you found with her. How am I supposed to interpret that one, Jake?”

“I don't know!” He threw his hands up, exasperated. “I’m an idiot. But you're twisting this to make it seem like I’ve been hurting you on purpose, when you know damn well that’s not true.” His gaze was hard and angry when he looked over at you. “You could have said something, but instead, you chose to get more and more upset with me until you started this shit. You always do.”

The truth of it only made you angrier, with yourself for doing it and with him for pointing it out.

“I shouldn't have to say that I don't want to sleep with you in the bed you fucked your ex in,” you said venomously.

His expression changed to one of incredulity and disgust. “What the hell did you say it like that for?” he demanded. You were nearing the cabin, and part of you worried about your friends overhearing, but the stronger part of you just wanted to keep fighting.

“You never talk like that,” he said. “Why are you throwing that in my face and making it sound like — ”

“You did, didn't you?” you spat. Your self control was completely unraveled. “You fucked her in that bed, didn't you?”

“Yes!” he burst out. He stopped on the porch to look your straight in the face. “Yes, okay? I fucked her good and hard in that bed, and I intentionally picked that room so I could make you feel like shit. Is that what you want to hear?”

“If that’s the truth!” you shot back. You felt the sting of angry, hurt tears and hated it.

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he said, fed up with you. “I hate talking to you when you're like this, sparrow. You drive me fucking crazy.”

“This is your fault, Jake,” you said. “I can't ever get through to you. Every time I try, you overreact.”

“Me?” he all but yelled. “You’re the one making a big fucking deal out of nothing, just because you can't be honest about how you feel! How is that my fault?”

He went inside before you had a chance to yell anything back at him. You came in right on his heels, so angry with him you could have screamed. Baby and the guys were playing a card game at the table, and their laughter and conversation died a quick death at your entrance.

You knew they must have heard you and Jake fighting on the porch, but you didn't have time to feel embarrassed as you followed Jake down to the your new room. He sat on the edge of the bed, drumming his hands against his knees, obviously agitated. His jaw worked as he looked up at you, and for some utterly incomprehensible reason, you found it maddeningly attractive.

“You sure you want to keep fighting?” he asked, all attitude now. “You know I used to fight with Izzy too. Wouldn’t want us doing anything I’ve already done with her.”

“God, you're so infuriating!” you said. “I just didn't want to get fucked in the same bed as her!”

He stood and closed the distance between you, slamming the door and bracketing you against it.

“What about this bed, huh?” His breath fanned hot over your skin, his eyes blazing. “How about you get fucked in this bed and shut the hell up about all this shit with Izzy? Is that good enough for you?”

Heat raced through you, feeding on your anger and the need for an outlet. It had been a long time since Jake had gotten you this worked up, and you were reminded of something he’d said that weekend at the wedding last winter — I'm the only one who could ever get you riled up like this, and you've always liked it. You hadn't admitted it then, and you damn sure weren't going to admit it now, but that didn't make it any less true.

“Fine.” You kissed him, hard, and he responded to you with furious passion. You lost yourselves in the heat, the want, the hunger — it was sweat and bruises and testing the limits, both of you, angry and rough and needful.

After, when you lay with your hair plastered to your face, trying to catch your breath, Jake opened the window above your bed and lit a joint. He handed it to you after a moment, blowing a thin stream of smoke in the vague direction of the window.

You took a long drag and watched the smoke drift up towards the ceiling. It was raining outside, cold and grey and lonely. When you touched a hand to your cheek, you felt tears.

Jake kissed you and exhaled smoke into your mouth. “Don’t cry, sparrow. Breaks my heart when you cry.”

You sigh was shaky. “Tell me you love me.”

“Sparrow.” He kissed gently all over your face. “I love you, my girl. Tell me you know that.”

You swallowed around the tightness in your throat. “I know.”

You lay in silence until the joint was spent, listening to the rain fall. You remembered something else from the wedding, some realization that you and Jake were so easily careless with each other, the promise you’d made not to treat each other that way any more. You felt dreamy and sad, wondering if you’d broken that promise, tears tracking down your face even after he’d told you not to cry.

“Jake.”

He brushed your hair back from your face. “I’m right here, sparrow.”

You pressed your face to his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him. You moved closer until you were all tangled up together, warm and safe and surrounded by each other in every way two people could be.

“I don’t know if I liked that,” you said, very softly.

He sighed. “I don't know if I liked it either. But we don't have to talk about it right now. Try to sleep, sparrow.”

You nodded, your breathing choppy and tired. “Okay, Jake.”

He held you, and in your new bed with the rain drumming gently on the windowsill, you listened to the steady beat of his heart and tried to think of some way to tell him how sorry you were.

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#okayyyy this one's a little different for me but i liked it. would recommend listening to cigarettes after sex to set the vibe :)#jake kiszka angst #jake kiszka fanfiction #greta van fleet fanfiction #gvf fanfiction #cabin fever fics #evergreen fic #maddie writes stuff!

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unrequitedloveletter · 1 year

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paper rings- weddings!! give me a character. a rough word count (10k is the most I’m willing to write, but if you want the fic to be a longer one, specifics are heavily recommended) and where you would want to get married if you were to get married! You can also tell me if you want it to be next level angst or to have the fluff scale turned up to eleven. Provide whatever specifics you want, and along with the fic, you’ll get a moodboard! You can mention if you want the moodboard to replace whatever gif I use as a fic header, but if you want it at the bottom of the fic and for me to include the gif anyway, just let me know!

okayyyy nikolai lantsov andd 1-2k? i've always dreamed of having a forest fairytale type wedding. like the fairy lights, and the green and borwn color schemes. and very intimate, only closeee friends and family (which is still a lot of family on my side but shhhh) fluff scale turned up to 11 plsss! the moodboard, i'm fine either way whatever is easiest<3

Our Forever/Our Eternity- Nikolai Lantsov x fem! reader

Okay, hi! I am so sorry that this coming out so late--I’d started second semester when I went to look at my inbox and having to do assignments on the daily is taking me closer and closer to academic burn out one step at a time. This is coming out on valentines though, so yay! I hope you like this one. The moodboard also came out in the form of a collage, which again, I hope is cool! I made it while tired out of my mind last night and a collage is what my tiredbrain was able to manage at that point lol.

fic type- fluff.

Warnings- mentions of the consumption of alcohol (wine and champagne, and vodka/kvas)

You and Nikolai had been dating since you were sixteen, having met by pure happenstance whilst you both worked in the First Army. You were at his side as his partner when he’d met Alina, fought with him as his partner and his confidante in the Ravkan Civil war.

When he’d proposed at the age of twenty-three, just at the beginning of his kingship, you were overjoyed, and so, it seemed, was he.

The next year and a half were spent with wedding preparations at the forefront of nearly everyones focuses, though especially Genyas, yours, and Nikolais.

A fairytale esque wedding was the theme you’d agreed upon, and it was just to your luck that a decent clearing with a couple of large trees was amongst the Little Palaces acreage.

Genya had said that it was to be the perfect spot for a wedding, and a year and a half later, as you listened to Alina and Zoyas conversation and Genya tailored a bit of powder onto your eyes to give them a pop of color, you had to agree.

You’d decorated it with a few good tables, chairs painted a deep brown the color of wood, the tablecloths a darker version of leafy green. The centerpieces had been your favorite flowers, encased in small glass display containers that would’ve been used for something like a cupcake display in a bakery, and the tree under which you were going to get married had been laid with lights, making it look like the branches were dripping in stars.

You’d done your wedding a bit differently to the societal expectations placed onto Nikolais shoulders. It wasn’t public, it wasn’t to occur in the Little Palace and there were no journalists, no reporters or anyone who’s only purpose of attending would be to get the scoop on the happenings of that day.

You’d only invited the people who’d mattered to you both, those whom you considered family. Tolya, Mal and David were Nikolais groomsmen. Genya, Tamar, Nadia, Alina and Zoya were your bridesmaids.

Alina and Mal had come along, though Alina had been wearing a wig so that nobody looked at her and immediately knew that she’d been the sun saint, the one who’d been martyred three years before.

Alina laughed as a breeze picked up and ruined some of the work that Genya had done with your hair, meeting your gaze with a grin.

“Early summer is a wonderful time of year, isn’t it?” You asked, laugh befalling your lips as Genya gave an exasperated sigh. “There’s a breeze, yeah, but at least it’s warm.”

“Nikolai is just going to faint when he sees you,” Nadia said with a grin. “Oh, the king will faint indeed.”

“Tolya will have to catch him,” Tamar agreed, laugh coming up as she took a sip of her champagne. “It’ll be quite the glorious thing, and no reporters here to tell the tale means that our beloved king and his precious ego will be saved from embarrassment.”

“He’ll do more than faint,” Zoya said. “He’s never cried a day in his life, I’m sure, but he will. He’ll be crying tears of joy. Men are astonished by beauty, and you look ravishing, so it’s practically par for the course.”

You took a sip of your champagne as Genya announced that she was done with your hair, peeking out from behind the tree that you’d stood behind, one far enough away from guests and Nikolai to avoid being heard or seen.

“The king has descended down the aisle,” she said. “Oh, he is going to lose it. I’m so excited!”

You finished off your champagne as Genya and David walked down the aisle, followed by Zoya with Tolya, Alina and Mal, Tamar and Nadia together.

You watched, head ducked out from the spot where you stood, as David whispered something to Nikolai and his eyes promptly closed, anticipatory grin spreading across his face. You scoffed, grin coming to yours as well.

Of course David had listened to Genyas suggestion that he ask Nikolai to close his eyes so as to not see you until you’d walked down the aisle. Photographers were around, and she probably thought it would make for an interesting set of photos. David, as her husband, would’ve agreed, as would you have, as you knew she was probably right.

Your father walked you down the aisle, and when you reached out, resting either of your arms on Nikolais shoulders and allowing your hands to entwine themselves behind his neck, his eyes opened.

He looked shocked in one moment, mesmerized in the next.

“You look--” Nikolai began, cutting himself off. He laughed after a moment. “It seems I am unable to find the words. You look indescribably beautiful.”

You grinned. “You clean up nicely, Mr. Lantsov.”

“The same can be said of you, soon to be Mrs.”

You grinned, rolled your eyes, as the officiant began.

“We are gathered here today for the union of his majesty the king, Nikolai Lantsov, and her majesty the Queen, Y/N L/N,” you’d gotten that part sorted in the weeks prior. You’d been declared queen before the wedding at a small coronation that the public was only made aware of in the days after it’d occurred, so as to pretty much just get the process out of the way.

“It is my belief that the couple has written their own vows?” You both glanced at the officiant, giving him a slight nod. “Well then, King Nikolai, I’ll allow you to read yours first.”

Nikolai shot you a smirk, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him lovingly. He’d always been the flirtatious type, and you considered it luck that those flirts had always seemed to be tossed in your direction.

Nikolai wasn’t just a flirt, though. He was a caring, compassionate, smart and wonderful guy. He was someone you’d met while serving your time in the First Army, someone who you’d seen act in the bravest manner and only in the interest of saving the lives of those around him. He’d managed to sweep you off your feet somewhere in all of the noise, and when he became Sturmhond, you joined him once you’d convinced your commander to release you on honorable discharge so that you could.

As you stood in front of him, arms around his shoulders, you found that you didn’t regret it. Not a minute.

“I have loved you since we worked in the infantry department together,” Nikolai said. “I fell in love with you whilst we were in the ranks of the First Army, and, eight years after I joined up, I can say that I have not felt regret over it for a moment. I love you more than words can express, really, and I’m looking forward to proving it to you with my actions. I cannot wait to get to wake up next to you everyday for the rest of my life.”

He paused, closing his eyes for a moment, and you realized that Zoya may have been right. Nikolai may actually have started crying, or have gotten closer to it.

“Forever has always felt like such a long time,” Nikolai continued. “It still does, usually, but it’s time that I get to spend with you at my side, so I can’t wait for our forever to start.”

The officiant grinned. “Y/N, you may read your vows in response.”

“I love you,” you began. “I used to think that I would never get so lucky as I have. I was sent into the First Army, and as most do, I figured I was doomed. I’m delighted that I wasn’t, and though the First Army, the mandatory service, is not something that I look back on fondly, I’m glad I met you from it. I’m glad that I’ve spent almost a decade at your side, and I’m looking forward to all the decades to come.”

“I’m looking forward to coffee on Sundays, to watching the sun go down and drinking kvas as we talk about how lucky we both feel, and I am really excited that I get to be married to you for our eternity. I have loved you as long as I have known you, and I am looking forward to getting to spend the rest of my days loving you even still.”

The rings were brought out, and you noticed a tear slip down Nikolais cheek as he slipped the ring onto your finger. You slipped his ring onto his, wiped the tear away and gave him a grin as you registered that you were close to crying as well.

It was your wedding, though. One of the happiest days of your life. People would forgive you if you cried a bit.

“Nikolai Lantsov, do you promise to love Y/N L/N for the rest of your days, in sickness and in health, in rich and in poor?”

“I do,” Nikolai looked at you, and you looked at him, and all that either of you noticed in that moment was the sheer love in the other persons gaze.

“Y/N L/N, do you promise to love Nikolai Lantsov for the rest of your days, in sickness and in health, in rich and in poor?”

“I do.”

“Well then, the bride and groom may kiss to seal this union,” the officiant said.

And so, you did, a tear slipping down your cheek as Nikolais lips were on yours and you were officially his wife, he was officially your husband. You were so happy, it was more than words could ever accurately describe.

Nikolai pulled away, grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers, and just like that, the party had started, the violins picking up with an old Ravkan dancing tune.

You spent the night dancing, laughing, drinking and enjoying the night for all that it was. You were married to the love of your life, and you were sure you would be so happy as you’d been that day for the rest of the days in which you graced the earth.

When all the guests had left, most of them retiring into their rooms after midnight, when all of the celebrations had been had, the good wine and kvas drank, the dancing done, you were still out there.

It was a group of people, actually. It’d been you, Nikolai, Genya, David, Tolya, Tamar, Nadia, Zoya, Alina and Mal. The violinist was still playing because they’d not yet retired to their own room. They were playing a slow song, and like it was habitual, you all paired off and danced.

Nikolai held you close, arms around your waist where yours were resting on either of his shoulders. You were dancing under the tree where you’d gotten married, and the lights were still on. As you registered the flit of a camera, knowing that the photographers had long gone home, you scoffed.

“Need something for the photo album, Tolya?”

“A few somethings,” he said. “These’ll look good framed, and Zoya most certainly agrees with me.”

“She does,” Zoya piped up. “As does Genya, who anticipated this happening and thought that the disposable was a good idea. You’re welcome, lovebirds.”

You and Nikolai laughed. “Thank you, guys.”

“We’re glad that you finally tied the knot, Nik,” Tamar said. “Seriously. Tolya and Nadia were beginning to debate placing bets.”

“Who would’ve won?”

“Me,” Tolya said. “A good man does not wait for the perfect time, in accordance to my sonnets. He either creates it or finds it in a day that is seemingly mundane.”

You scoffed. “It was not mundane, Yul-Bataar. He proposed to me when the sun was setting. We were by the lakes.”

“Mundane enough,” Nikolai said. “And perfect enough, after having tried to find the right time for three years.”

“You took my point, you took my compliment, and you unraveled it,” Tolya said, scoffing. “You’re a drunken buffoon.”

“I’m not drunk,” Nikolai said. “I’ve been too busy dancing with my wife to bother with it.”

“Ah, so you’re just a buffoon, then?” Genya asked. “Makes sense.”

Nikolai scoffed, meeting your gaze. “I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” you said. “It’s getting late, and cold. Let’s head back inside.”

“Early start tomorrow,” David said.

“I will have Tamar cut my tongue out with one of her beloved axes before I rise at any time within the three hours after sunrise tomorrow morning,” Nikolai said as the group began the walk back. You heard the violin music stop, the violinist packing up as you left.

You grinned as you took Nikolais hand and interlaced your fingers.

You’d married the love of your life. You were so happy in what was just the start of your forever with him, and he was so happy in the start of his eternity with you.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x fem! reader

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