#okay hermie 'i only want to date people who are not normal. as long as i also get to date normal' unworthy i know what u are | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

coolestclowns · 1 year

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☆Oakworthy scene list: remake☆ (a very long post.)

I switched phones and realised that means my note containing all my oakworthy notes was GONE! obviously I could not let this stand and immediately began my 3rd s2 relisten.

Episode 5

Normal: Hermie, go away!

Hermie: Okay, okay! Okay. That kitten's got claws.

Will: Alright, so no one's going out with Hermie, that's for sure.

Anthony: I guess one person should answer then... So Hermie the unworthy shows up and he goes-

Hermie: Hello, Normal. I see you require companionship to the dance.

Freddie: is it like, "meet under the tree outside"? Where are we to do these interviews and auditions?

Will: In the note I said take the green tab and slide it into my locker

Anthony: Oh yeah, yeah

Will: So I feel like what happens is, I open the locker, I see the green tab, I close it and Hermie The Unworthy's on the other side

Normal: OH! Uh, hey hermie! What's up, dude?

Hermie: Don't visit your locker very much, I see?*

Normal: I mean, uh, yeah, I've just kinda been waitin-- y'know I've been a little nervous that no one was going to answer, but someone did! Isn't this crazy?

Hermie: Yes. Isn't it?

Normal: You answered, didn't you? ;]

Hermie: A gentleman never tells ;}

Normal: But that's specifically the point was to, for-

Hermie: Yes. Yes, it was me. Yes. Hello, hello

Normal: Do you want to go to the dance with me, Hermie?!

Hermie: The question is, do YOU want to go to the dance with ME?

*how long did he wait there at Normals locker...

Normal after failing an insight roll on hermies persuasion: wow! Y'know, maybe, Hermie, I misjudged you?

Hermie: Perhaps you did

Normal: it's, y'know- i-

Hermie: Perhaps you could make it up to me... at the dance

Normal: Okay well I-

Hermie: ...or maybe you can convince Scary to make it up to me at the dance... Or maybe it's just you! Maybe I'd be happy either way.

Anthony: Ok, so he just puts his hand forward then steps forward trying to shove you into the locker, and you step out of the way, his hand hits the locker and he very swiftly turns as if he's just leaning against it and he goes-

Hermie: Look.

Freddie: God damn, he's smooth...

Hermie: Let me be real with you.

Normal: Mhmm?

Hermie: in the words of Jane Austin, you have no prospects. Nor do I. The only chance we have of getting the people that we want is to be at that dance, wait for their inevitable heartbreak at the end of whichever knuckle-dragging buffoon they had decided to go with, because you know as well as I that girls love to go with assholes. So I just wait for that asshole to break her heart... You can wait for some asshole to break somebody- I don't know whatever you're interested in! And then who's there to pick up those pieces? Who's there to reassemble that broken, broken woman into something that will make out with me?

Beth: ohh my god

Hermie: That's me. And that's going to be you.

Normal: you know what? I'm going to reassemble YOUR broken pieces, Hermie Unworthy. And I'm going to show you that maybe it's time to just have a good time with someone and not have to worry about that all that stuff. So you know what? I will go out with you. Because frankly, I think someone needs to keep an eye on you.

Hermie: Perfect.

Normal: So uh, yeah! That sounds good, you got a date!

Hermie: Perfect...all according to plan

Normal: GUYS, I GOT A DATE WITH HERMIE THE UNWORTHY! I THINK I CAN FIX HIM!

Normal: Okay, I see there's a rose garden in his house so I'll just rip out one of his mother's prized roses out of the garden and give it to him

Matt: I love that Normal knows it's prized roses

Link: Oh wow! You're going to rip one of those prized roses? But they win every year! What are you doing!?

Normal: Oh, is that bad? Are you not supposed to do that?

Normal: I just want to go on record saying I was I was the first one to think you were pretty cool

Link: Oh! Thanks, wow this is really-

Normal: And maybe that means I'll be the first one of all of us to think Hermie Unworthy's a cool guy!

Taylor: eh....

Scary: Uhm....

Normal, about to pick up hermie for the dance: Wish me luck. I'm a little nervous, I don't know why. Ugh, just never done something like this before

Link: Go get 'em, buddy!

Taylor: Do you need us to be near?

Scary: Yeah?

Will: So Normal steps out of the van and walks up to the front door, he looks at the roses but thinks better of ripping one out of the garden, and rings the doorbell.

Anthony: Hermie The Unworthy opens the door and he's wearing a tuxedo. He's fucking dressed to the nines, frankly overdressed for a school dance

Hermie: Face it, Tiger. You just hit the jackpot.*

Will: You just hit the jackpot!

Anthony: And he just strolls past you toward the bus.

Freddie: Can you imagine? To have that much confidence in highschool?

Matt: I feel like even Taylor is intimidated by this amount of confidence

Taylor: Woah, woah! Woah!!

* I've said it once and I'll say if again, him quoting the MJ line from spiderman is literally DNDADS2 version of like. A Romeo and Juliet quote

Normal: Okay, uh-- [stutters] it's nice to see you. We all just had a really nice friendship bonding moment, so just, if you could be cool that ...it'd be great.

Anthony: He turns over his shoulder and he goes-

Hermie: I can't not be cool, I'm Hermie The Unworthy.

Normal: Hey, hermie?

Scary: Yeah, he's not going to get it.

Link:...yeah

Normal: We're all like, crime fighters. We're all part of an organization that fights evil monsters that have infected this world and we're looking for our lost dads. What do you think about that?

Anthony: He steps off the bus.

Normal: What?

Hermie: Uh... That's weird. You're being weird.

Normal: That's weird?!

Hermie: You're being weird.

Normal: WHAT!?

Scary: what did- what did I say?

Link: Wait, Hermie no! You gotta come-

Normal: NO WAIT!! I GOT TO GET TO THE DANCE, I GOT TO SAVE THE WORLD!

Hermie: Well, you could do that on your own, because that sounds weird. See this, I'm in a bus full of crazy people. I'm Hermie The Unworthy, not Hermie The Unliving. I don't want to get murdered by you.

Hermie: Yeahhhhh, I knew you were joking with me! Come on? You think- I was joking back on you!

Normal: Oh, wow!

Scary: oh

Hermie: I wasn't going to leave you high and dry

Taylor: he got reverse carded!

Hermie: You can't get into the dance without a date! Wagons roll, baby!

Episode 6

Link: He said "give us space" but like, in movies, when somebody says "give us space"-

Hermie: It doesn't apply to me?

Link: -it doesn't apply to the person you're on a date with

Scary: Yeah...

Hermie: Oh!

Will: Normal is taking off the mascot head and I've set it down on the sink, and I'm staring at myself in the mirror.

Hermie: Ooh. Having a moment of self reflection, do you want to be alone?

Normal: [sighs]

Hermie: Or should I...comfort? You? To be honest, the role that I'm preparing for, he never gets the date that he wants. So I don't actually have to do this part, but you look like you might need some-

Normal: What do you mean? W-what role, what are you talking about?

Hermie: The way that I behaved to you previously at the school with the uh, the moves on scary that I put on. All that unsavoury business.

Scary: [annoyed sigh]

Hermie: That's is a part of my method acting process.

"The date that he wants"... I know what you are...

Also oh my god, him confirming here he does not actually like scary yet him still going back to it later, that's one hell of a trauma response./hj

Normal: so you're an actor? You like-- oh, that's right!

Hermie: I like to consider myself a truther. That means a different thing now.

Matt: but he also believes- but he also doesn't believe in the

Hermie: but I also don't believe 9/11 wasn't an inside job. But no, yes! I search for the truth in things and I bring them to the stage!

Normal: Well, I guess [sighs] to get my dad back, I've got to act more like a normal person tonight?

Hermie: Oh?

Normal: And uh I- I don't really know how to do that? I just kind of- I just kinda do me, if you were preparing for a role as just a highschool kid, who's dad was proud of them. What would that look like?

Normal: But... I'm going to need some help getting a new outfit together

This is here because in my mind it's him asking Hermie for a makeover and I think that's wonderful

Normal: I think...I got to try this out right? to get him back. I don't want to be doing this anymore, so... here's what I'm thinking. We did a big clothing drive and there's a bunch of clothes, so-

Hermie: Oh, oh, oh Normal, Normal, please. You're not talking to some... audience member. You're talking to...

Anthony: And he rips the front of his suit off and it comes off, because it's a tearaway tuxedo and he has another tuxedo on underneath it. He goes-

Hermie: You are talking to....a thespian ♡

Anthony: he hands you the tearaway tuxedo, and he goes-

Hermie: I always come with a change of clothes. And perhaps, you-

Freddie: A quick change. A quick change!

Hermie: A quick change! And-

Scary: you always come with a tearaway tuxie.

Normal: And two looks, yeah. You got to bring looks with you if you're an actor!

Hermie: Yeah, of course.

Hermie: It would be my honor to be your costumer for this production.

Anthony: What's normal feeling right now? What's Normal look like?

Will: just numbness, just complete emptiness

Anthony: Then you barely even notice, Hermie the unworthy puts his hands on your shoulder and he goes-

Hermie: Well Normal, you poped a zit, you got humiliated, And you didn't have fun at your first dance. Seems pretty Normal to me

Episode 10

Mae: Well, let's go there I guess. Although, you know who else might be fuckin'... near the drama class...

Normal: Oh, Who?

Scary: A certain thespian.

Normal: Ohhh

Scary: A certain worthy thespian.

Normal: Well what's wrong-? I like him! He's cool now!

Scary: Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Normal: I told you guys he's be cool and I was right. I just want to put it out there that I was right.

Episode 11

Normal: We've got a trail. I say we follow the trail, but everyone keep an eye on each other.

Link: We should always do that, we're a team!

Scary: Well, like a suspicious eye now.

Hermie: Should we uh-- should we... should we potentially... all hold hands?

Taylor: [quickly] IVOTEFORHERMIE

Hermie: Well that seems unfair.

Normal: I think we should all hold hands and we walk down this hallway and we follow this trail.

Hermie: So, who would you like to hold hands with...?

Normal: I'll hold hands with you, Hermie!

Hermie: Hermie-- Ohh! Okay

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

Normal: Hermie, I just want you to know I didn't vote for you because I...! I can't believe it was any of you. I love you guys!!

Episode 15

Will: And then I throw myself into the window

Normal: HANG ON, HERMIE, IM COMING!

Anthony: give me a strength check

Will: [dice roll] oh! That's a 15

Anthony: Wow, okay so yeah, with a 15, what do you.... shoulder first? How do you do this?

Will: just a header.

Anthony: Hermie just sees you shatter through and come in like that and he goes-

Hermie: Oh! Hey, ....Hey ;}

Normal: HEY, GRAB MY HEAD.

Hermie: No problem there, buddy

Anthony: And he grabs onto each of your ears and he goes--

Hermie: Now what?

Anthony: So what hermie sees is your head shatter through the glass, you turn to him... you say, "grab my head" and a moustache appears- like... the most disgusting...

Beth and Freddie: Oh no...

Anthony:...incomplete moustache...

Beth: No!

Freddie: Patchy moustache Normal!

Matt: Patchy!

Anthony: An inverse Hitler appears on your lip.

Freddie: Patchy moustache Normal!!!!

Anthony: And he goes--

Hermie: OH MY.

Anthony: And he grabs your ears.

Will: And I go-

Normal: What? What's wrong?

Will: because I haven't seen it yet

Anthony: And he goes-

Hermie: UH. Nothing, nothing... we'll talk about it later.

Normal: You're acting really gross- like you're acting really grossed out?

Hermie: No, i- I didn't know- I [stutters] I thought there was no ceiling to what I couldn't react to. And in this moment, I'm finding even my ability to act normal- to act chill is being significantly tested,,,

Normal: Okay? Fair enough

Scary, after Hermie got blasted with the ovens fire: Guys, don't worry he can ACT like he's alive

Normal: What the fuck, Scary!

Will: I rush over to hermie and I once again, strip off my tshirt to fan the flames out and I cast 'spare the dying' on him to stabilise him

Anthony: The fire goes out and the smoke clears and you see that, despite the fact he's wearing a joker costume, he's now perfectly burned like Two-Face across the entire left side of his face. He looks up at you, his eyes open and he goes-

Hermie: I knew you liked me.

Beth, Matt and Freddie: aw!!

Will: [chuckles]

Anthony: In the Cameron from Ferris Bueller voice, he goes-

Hermie: Normal Oak, you're my hero <3

Will: Okay! Whew! All right, so Normal is feeling this whirlwind of emotions right now. Just this seething...he's so confused. He's got a moustache, he's freaking out, he's like-

Normal: DO I LIKE HERMIE??? I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON!

Episode 17

Will: Normal goes up to hermie, he says-

Normal: Hermie. We will come back for you. I pinky promise.

Will: And I put out my pinky for a pinky promise.

Anthony: So he's going to... flip a coin

Matt: Oh shit

Anthony: He reaches out with his burned hand.

[Several gasp]

Anthony: And pinky promises you. And says--

Hermie: You know what happens if you break this promise? I don't think I have to tell you.

Normal: Yeah, I feel bad, right?

Hermie: Oh you will.

Normal: But that's not going to happen because we're going to come back! You know what? Because you're part of this team, Hermie. You came all the way to this realm to help us and you're a great actor and we believe in you and you're going to do a great job. And then we're going to come back and we're going to get you!

Normal: [quietly] Hermie, I'm like, pretty nervous about talking to my dad. Do you have any like, advice? Like, you seem really wise and like you know what you're doing and you're really confident. And like... I'm really nervous about talking to my dad about this stuff. And like, should should I not talk about it? Should I just pretend every, like- How do I pretend everything is fine? You're good at pretending stuff...

Taylor, holding out his fist for a fist bump: good job bro.

Anthony: And he pounds it and goes-

Hermie: thanks bro. That's why you're my favourite.

Normal: [pained] ah...

Taylor: yep.

Hermie: so far.

Taylor: Yeah, yeah. I get it

Link: Don't worry about it, man. It's pretty whack of him to fucking... He volunteered, now he's complaining? Like that's not cool.

Scary: Yeah, it's also pretty whack of him to say-

Normal: [yelling] Like, y'know-! This is a really brave thing! Hermie we'll come back for you!

Hermie: I can hear all of this!

Link: Oh!

Normal: [still yelling] Hermie, I'LL come back for you!!

Episode 18

Will: Can I just header into the door? Like just slide across and slam into the door?

Anthony: Yeah, you slam into the door at just the right angle that your head bursts through, and hermie goes--

Hermie: We got to stop meeting like this ;}

Normal: Hermie! Thank God! Let's go!

Anthony: You wrench open the door, hermie comes out with you and he goes-

Hermie: You did come back for me... I'll be damned

Hermie: But as it stands, I'm just good old normal Two-Face Joker Hermie.

Normal: Phew! I'm glad it's just you in there, Hermie.

Episode 18s teentalk has some goodness in it for anyone who has access to it !! And for anyone who doesn't, this image won't make sense to you <3

Episode 19

Link: Yeah, I bought some cheap novelty walkie-talkies at the Hot Topic. So Hermie you watch from above and you stay in contact with us, okay?

Hermie: Okay, I'll be your, uh... sort of like an Oracle, in a sense

Link: Yeah

Hermie: ...Yeah, no problem

Normal: Oracle's a character from Batman, Link. That's the reference

Episode 20

Anthony: Link, you feel hands on your shoulders massaging them.

Link: Oh! Oh. Hey, thanks Taylor. Uh, yeah, ooh-

Taylor: I'm over here

Link: what? Hey...

Hermie: No, hey, it's- it's me. You just look a little tense.

Link: Oh... hey Hermie.

Normal: [yelling] oh hey, Hermie!!!

Hermie: hey

Normal: Oh, wow! God. We kind of forgot about you!

Link: hey-

Normal: I'm sorry!

Hermie: Yeah, no, I've been here the whole time

Link: You're shockingly good at this

Hermie: Oh, I know.

Link: ...you can stop now though.

Hermie: I played a masseuse once. I played Zatoichi

Normal: That's right! You were good in that!

Hermie: thank you. I couldn't see....how good I was. It's a little pun from actors to actors

Episode 21

Hermie: I am definitely a follower. Yes, thank you.

Normal: And me, I'm sort of following my own path right now. I'm trying to figure myself out. But I guess I'd sort of like... would you guys consider me a hype man, or like a... sort of a strategy development person? I don't know, but I'm involved!

Hermie: I think you're the heart of the group.

Normal: interesting...

Link: hm.

Hermie: That's what I, Hermie, would say.

Normal: Hey Link

Link: what's up?

Normal: Guess what kind of tree takes notes?

Link: Uh, oh... I've been thinking about this one...

Normal: a note-meg tree!

Link: a what tree?

Scary: A what?

Normal: ...like nutmeg

Scary: Oh.

Normal: we're going to die.

Anthony: hermies like--

Hermie: [yelling] that's so good!!! That's so good, that's what I was going for!!!

Episode 22

Hermie dies a lot in this one!

Anthony: He gets-- fwoomp! And he fucking flies across the room and hits the wall to the other side, and just crumbles and falls down.

Normal: [yelling] Hermie!!

Will: alright, I just hit him with a full 25

Anthony: Oh wow! Okay, so yeah Hermie is back on his feet and goes-

Hermie: Oh, man. Taylor.

Normal: [in a poorly tuned cheer] Hermie, Hermie, he's our man! Just don't let... just get back out here, man!

Anthony: he's in- he's in darkness, he hars that. All he saw was taylor come in, and all of a sudden he feels better, and he's like-

Hermie: Thanks, Taylor!

Normal: [pained yelling] No!!!

Will: Okay, Hermie's in front of me, in front of the tree, in front of the exit?

Anthony: Yeah

Will: in just going to go run to Hermie and, uhh... [laughs] just like Hermie's really the actual football of this scene-

Matt: soccer ball, yeah

Will: Yeah. Once I get to him I will cast 'Cure Wounds' on Hermie to heal him

Anthony: Oh shit, okay

Will: [dice roll] he's got 8 hit points

Normal: Hermie! We gotta stop meetin' like this!

Hermie: Hey! that's what-

Scary: you gotta stop MEAT-ing like this

Normal: ah! Good one, Scary!

Anthony: And he sees that you're connecting with Scary, and you see his heart break a little bit.

Episode 23

Will: And then Normal kind of shakes off Henry and cranks the thermostat up, back to season 2. And turns to Hermie and says-

Normal: Hermie, wha- how are you- what? ...what's going on? Are you? Did you? I don't even know, what did, you're like a- what?

Link: he just has two dads, man. Why are you weird about that?

[Group laughter]

Normal: one of the dads us really weird! He's got like a-

Hermie: A liiiitttle bit homophobic!

Anthony: No, hermie is actually looking at you --Even despite his joker makeup-- more pale than usual. And he goes-

Hermie: But...I'm not... I don't know who any of these people are... Am I adopted? I can't be adopted. I-

Normal: Talk to me, Herm.

Hermie: Oh my god. My parents, the ultimate performance was the one my parents have done my whole life. Telling me that they were my biological parents... Who am I? Who is Hermie?

Normal: So you've never seen that guy, the weird hell guy or the weird fedora guy in your whole life? You don't know who either of them are?

Hermie: No, I've met my grandparents and it's not... it's not these people. So I have no Idea...

Hermie: I was so ready to be all poison ivy sexy and stuff, and then this happened and I don't even know which-

Normal: Well, you can still be poison ivy sexy if you want to! You can be whoever you want!

Anthony: And he touches you on the nose and he goes-

Hermie: I know I can.

Normal: you know what we're gonna do, Hermie? We're gonna put this mystery? This adventure? This is going on the list too. This is going to be a side adventure that we try to solve while we're solving the main adventure, okay? So we're going to figure out what the deal is here.

Hermie: Okay... alright, I mean I'll deal with this mysel- I'm going to go internal now. I'm going to do the Stanislofsky method, I'm going to-

Normal: No! Hermie! You need to embrace this. You don't need to be the joker, or poison ivy or two-face. You don't need to be any of those characters! You can just be you, it's ok!

Hermie: I also got hit with a cone of cold, so I'm kind of Mr. Freeze.

Normal: Okay well, you don't need to be any- just like- you know...?

Link: just be yourself, man.

Normal: you can just be yourself! Who is hermie?

Hermie: who is-?

Anthony: you see what you said hit him like a physical wave. Who is Hermie. And he goes-

Hermie: who is Hermie? Who is Hermie??

Anthony: And he looks down and keeps just muttering it to himself.

Episode 24

Normal: Yeah, Hermie, it seems like we learned a lot about you last week. Uh, how are you feeling about all this?

Hermie: I mean, in order to feel anything I'd have to be focusing on it which I can't because I'm too busy keeping [batman voice] Gotham safe from criminals!

Normal: [gasps] there he is!

Hermie: [deeper] I'm feeling- im feeling cold towards you as well.

Link: Oh! Towards me?

Taylor: is that Mr. Freeze?

Normal: Sh, he's going through a lot right-

Hermie: [deeper] yes, this is my Mr. Freeze voice. Yes.

Normal: he's going through a lot right now, he keeps disassociating. He's not ready to deal with his dad stuff.

Hermie: [deeper] you're disassociating!

Hermie: You know what we could do is two weeks is almost a perfect amount of time to rehearse and mount a little production. We could do a little play? Put Scary's mind off it, get her- get her head into character

Normal: we could do a play! What we could do also is [will laughing] play dungeons and dragons!

Hermie: That's great! But who's going to be the DM?

Normal: huh?

Hermie:...who's going to be the DM?

Dorks

Normal: Oh yeah, gosh, the cheer! Uhm... [slow and bad cheer] One, two, three... we're all great. One, two, three... let's... be great...? I'll work on it.

Link: okay

Normal: Yeah! Bye everyone! I mean- let's all go!

Link: why are you saying bye...?

Hermie: [shouts] you're going with us!

Normal: Yeah, Scary, I hope you don't mind, I actually did like a sort of side adventure with everybody... y'know....

Scary: what?!

Normal: Yeah...

Hermie: It was great!

Link: so, Normal, they don't know what you saw. We just need to give them some sort of impossible puzzle that all them need to figure out, like some sort of equation or something you saw in the doodler, and be like "Hey, help us out with this!"

Normal: Oh, like a riddle!

Link: a riddle! And we slide it under the door!

Normal: Oh! Hermie!

Link: and that will stop them from killing each other because they're all going to need to work together

Hermie: did somebody say...

Anthony: And he turns around... and he's wearing a bowler hat with a question mark on it.

Hermie:...Riddle?

Normal: Yeah, Hermie! You're super smart at coming up with this sort of stuff!

Episode 26 doesn't currently have a transcript so I'll have to go back through </3 so that's all for now! This will be updated whenever there's new stuff!!!

Edit: lmao I lied I'm not gonna update this <3 I totally forgot <3 for multiple months <3

#dndads #dndaddies #dndads s2 #dungeons and daddies #hermie the unworthy #hermie #hermie unworthy #hermie dndads #normal oak #normal oak swallows garcia #oakworthy #dndads oakworthy #oakworhty dndads #apologies for not having this in a readmore originally i am a tumblr moblie noob </3 #longpost #like long as fuck #these bitches gay

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