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rin-and-jade · 9 months

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it's pop, once again.

urggggg, one of us blabbed a bit to one of our friends. I had all that under wraps, and they BLABBED GAH!

I do that stuff to protect us, because like I don't want anyone finding out about just anything. the friend was like "go get therapy, that's not good." and like the other one kept blabbing, I had said previously that I was getting some sorta help (it was true, the ai psychologist is actually a good bandaid solution for me. though literally every other moment I'm working towards my goal.) AND THEY BLABBED we weren't and just AAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

I tried to explain it away, butttttttt I just got defensive and I think I just made things worse. I know I shouldn't have been mean to the other one (idk she's kinda like L? but Not?? she's doesn't know about us, I doubt she'll remember I talked to her.) and I feel bad, but it's just not it.

I don't know if these people are safe to share that info with, I know they'll be like "we will listen" but like I don't think they are even prepared for half the things I'm gonna say. mostly the whole "oh, yeahhhh. I'm not (insert name) I'm pop. please no I'm not saying my username, that's my actual name. I'm not joking, please just understand." and they'll be confused. I doubt I can just casually drop I might have a trauma disorder, after like knowing one of my friends for like 2 years and the other a good 4 months.

but the other one has already dropped enough info for them to suspect literally anything now, and I'm just scared if they try to reach out to my parents or my siblings or something. because I cannot handle that, I just can't.

idkkkkkkkkkk, I might just come clean and see what happens?? they'll be confused and I can't grantee to myself or just the rest of us that it's going to be okay, but the bandaid is half ripped off so maybe it's time for me to pull it all the way??

idkkkkkkkkkkkk, why must these things HAPPEN. I try so hard to keep us all safe and under the radar, but I just guess that's not something that will happen. GAH, I don't blame the other one. it's not her fault she's just confused and scared, and I'm not being helpful really. it's just so far it's been okay, but I just can't if they take it badly.

idk.

tldr what do I do, I'm pretty sure one of my friends is tipped off to the fact we are a system??? aaaaaa.

yours pop

Ok to summarize the things that happened is one of your parts blabbered enough things to make your friends suspicious and you're not quite sure if it is safe to tell or not. Correct? If so, we gotta break to two options here.. 'come out' or 'cover it up' ;

How to decide:

I don't suggest telling about your plurality without thinking as to avoid telling to the wrong one which could be potentially worse,, and because sudden topics will confuses people even more. So, if you think the friend has affinity for you and is not the type to play down or challenge or negatively questions/make remarks, but listen and try to understand,, you can come clean. If it isn't good with understanding struggles, no attempt in supporting, or just in general not a safe type when it comes to more sensitive things (i bet you tried a topic on that at least but i may be wrong) then.. just cover it up.

Coming out:

First rule.. Take. It. Slow. You. might want to plan what things you want to say, how, and when. i suggest you doing by this format i made and used for my irl friends,,

Prepping a script (mentally or physically) on what you want to say so when anxiety or fear comes up, your mind will not shut down as because some guidance have been provided for that case. This prevents the part where people are likely to drop it fast.

Gathering a few links (and you have to read thoroughly first) and keep that as a little homework for them to read. If links are overwhelming for them then revise in a paragraph or two in your own words.

Pick a time where both of you are currently calm and not busy/occupied. Make sure to hint the person about wanting to talk bout something important so they know and take it more serious than usual.

Tell everything, slowly, with clarity and avoid being vague. Tell how the certain thing got blurted out and what it actually meant, tell why you were scared of hiding it and what ugly expectations you had, tell how the disorder forms and works and give the links, tell properly how they can help/support you,, tell anything you want. And wait for results.

Covering up:

Search the likeliest accepted disorder that has similar things that was blurted out, or probably tell it was said when you're sleepy or anything else that has to do with tampering focus but i doubt that one works when enough info has been outted so hmm.

Thats all i have sadly, and, imo,, i never saw any of my friends tell how suspicious we were to our parents for like, most of the semester in school (just graduated) because i doubt they want to be involved or have enough commitment to actually tell. Unless its relatives like aunts, it could. Sorry for not responding as fast as i can, I hope this is not too late and its still redeemable.

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did system #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #janswersask

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lilsocksiswriting · 3 years

Text

Osamu(s)

Fandom: Haikyuu

Paring: Osamu X fem!reader X Future!Osamu

Summary: On a stormy night, your boyfriend shows up at your door with his future self in two.

Warnings: No beta, Post time skip spoilers, minors DNI

Tags: dirty talk, masturbation, thigh fucking, voyeurism, overstimulation, crempires

Word Count: 4366

There was just something about tonight that made things feel amiss. it was smack dab in the middle of midterms week. Everyone was either studying, out at the bats drinking aways their dread, or like you trying to finish midterm papers. This makes the apartment complex you lived in quieter than usual which you don't mind at all. You can hear the heavy downpour of rain more clearly because of it too. You look up from the screen of your laptop to outside the window and at the street lamps below. the rain dampens the street lights, limiting their reach, and making them seem more like fairly glowing orbs. They add to the mysterious ambiance of the night.

A ding draws your attention back to your phone's screen has lit up with a banner of Osamu's name surrounded by grey hearts and stars

Osamu: babe?

Y/N: Hey bubs

Osamu: something weird happened

Y/N: Are you ok?

Osamu: yea. I was just getting in my head again.

Y/N: Oh no

Osamu: I know I'm sorry.

Y/N: you don't have to apologize. I'm not mad, it happens. I'm happy that you aren't keeping it to yourself this time.

Osamu: right, well as I was thinking was when the weird thing happened.

Y/N: and what is this weird thing?

Osamu: we're coming over

Y/N: what?

Osamu: is are coming over?

Y/N: what? Osamu what are you trying to say?

since Osamu only lived a floor above you in a studio apartment much like your own it didn't take long after his text for you to hear a knock on your door. When you open it you realize that 'is' wasn't a typo at all. 'is' was Osamu's attempt at making a plural of I.

Standing in the doorway was the Osamu who knew and loved. Board look slumped shoulders with hands stuffed in the pocket of the sweats he taken to wearing more often. Beside him was another man, more specifically another him. This Osamu was smirking in the same way Osamu still did from time to time, smug and relaxed, and stood a little straighter. Maybe even a little taller? He dressed in black sort and jeans, like a uniform of some sort, that is close not his broads body.

"Well, aren't ya goin' to invite in sweetheart?" the other Osamu asks and you move aside.

When the door clicks shut it also clicks for you who exactly this Osamu is. who he has to be. You follow behind the present Osama down the small hallway that opens up into the rest of your apartment. Older Osamu makes a b-line to your window to close the blinds while the other plops himself down on your couch making himself right at home leaning back and spreading his legs. if this was any other situation would have taken that as an open invitation to crawl onto his lap. Taking notice of the you-sized spot between his legs you also notice how the pair of sweats he wore were looking quite dingy. You wonder if he was heading into one of those weeks again where he barely slept, barely took care of himself, and stressed ate all your snacks. mid-terms week was definitely the kind of week where it would happen.

You give him that soft look but don't ask if he's been taking care of himself instead you ask, "He's for the future isn't he?"

Osamu nods seeming to not catch on the look or choosing to ignore it. "That's the weird thing that happened. He just sort of appeared."

The amazement that time travel existed and proof of that had now walk back over to stand in front of you right in front of you didn't cross your mind at first. What was crossing your mind was a series of questions. It takes the rest of your body a minute to catch up to these racing questions and actually speak one out.

"We're still together right?"

Older Osamu's laugh answers your question but he tells you anyway," I wouldn't be here if we weren't."

"And how exactly do we get you to from here back to where you belong, in the future."

"Tryin' to get rid of me already?" he cocks his head to the side teasing you. You look between present and future Osamu and find that neither seems bothered by the timeline consequences the older being here has. but hey guess that's anxiety for you.

"No, but why are you here? How are you here? How do we get you back so we don't fuck up the timeline?" you blurt out one question after the other to older Osamu and he just stands in front of you, thick arms crossing over his broad chest letting you get them all out.

The fact that neither of them seems to fully grasp the gravity of the situation infuriates you. "How are you two not freaking out about this?"

"Because one way or another he goes back after what happens tonight.”

you give the present version a questionable look. They definitely knew something that you didn't and weren't talking about it yet. "you two know something. What happens tonight?"

Instead of the present Osamu explaining, his older self tells you. "I don't really know how I get back but I do because he's still here," he points to himself," and I'm still for the future, a better version because of what happens tonight."

You don't miss the way his voice drops or how you notice him towering over you. You just try to focus on what they aren't telling you.

"What happens tonight?" you repeat the question.

"I show my past self how much better he can be," The older Osamu explains but it still leaves out the answer you looking for.

The order Osamu goes on," You know I was at a pretty low point at this time in my life. I didn't think that I was ever goin' to amount to anything. I would always be a stick in my twin's shadow, I'd be the less attractive twin, I'd always be dealin' with some bad patch of acne or my clothes were never goin' fit right, I'd always be sad like this. I never deserve you-"

"Ok," you cut him off. "Ok, I get it."

"He's not wrong ya know," you look over at the couch.

"I know... it's just hard to hear," you admit feeling guilty and ashamed for doing so. You want to be here for Osamu. You knew what he was going through since his twin got scouted for a pro team and you knew that you \ but that didn't make hearing how Osamu thought about himself anymore easy to hear. You were human. You loved Osamu. And sometimes it was hard to hear about problems of his that you didn't know how to make better.

"But that changes tonight. After tonight I get help, start seein’ a therapist. I start plannin’ for a future instead of being convinced that I don’t have one. I start to rub the amazing relationship I have with you in my twin's face. I start to learn to stop hatin’ my body for changing," The order supplies.

you frown. "But what happens tonight?"

Older Osamu leaned in closer to you, very close. So close that you can feel his breath rolls off your skin as he tells you, "Tonight I show my younger self how good he's gonna be able to fuck you in the near future ."

Well, damn. You weren’t expecting that. Mabey something a little closer to a heartfelt talk that would help Osamu out at this point of his life. This wasn’t to say that you were opposed to the idea. In fact, taking another look at the older version of your boyfriend, you were very ok with letting him rail you while the other watched. But someone about it felt wrong? More specifically it made you feel like it was something wrong.

The way the idea settles in your gut makes you turn your head slightly to look at the present version who’s still seated at the couch but sitting up a little straighter now. Anxiously and hopefully waiting for your answer.

“Are you sure?”

He nods then adds, “But only if you want to.”

You very much want to, it’s just….” Would this even count as cheating or like being with someone else?”

The older Osamu chuckles putting his knuckles under your chin and guiding your face back to his. “Darlin’ we’re the same person.”

That seems to settle your nerves and you nod. “Ok then. Show us.”

A smile breaks out across the order’s face. His other arms loops around your waist pulling you fully into his broad frame. “That’s my girl.”

The older Osamu tastes just the same as the present. The only difference is that he’s a lot less shy about using his tongue. Hell, he’s a lot less shy about using his whole body, and you honestly love it. The more that older Osamu explores your mouth with his, the harder you can feel him getting in his pants. Pulled so tightly against him means that you can feel every little twitch his cock gives in reaction to every little noise you’re able to make. Eventually, you two have to pull away for air. Dizzy with lips swollen you rest your cheek against the order’s heaving chest and look at to the younger who is staring at you like he’s start stuck. It’s cute.

“See,” The older tells his younger self. “Look how dizzy you can make her when you aren’t second-guessing everything.”

If the older was going to be bold, then so were you. You smooth a hand down his stomach, past his belt buckle and grip and the budge below it. All the while not taking your eyes off the present version of your boyfriend. This earns you a sharp intake of air from the older that comes out on a pleased exhale. “And don’t think for a minute that she doesn’t want all of you. Right darlin'? Look at you already tryin' to get at my cock.”

“You’re already hard.”

He nods. “And all for you. All’ve ya done is be your pretty little self and I’m already achin’ for ya.”

You squeeze your thighs together. You love to be dotted on by Osamu. You had realized early on that you definitely had a praise kink but only when it came to Osamu. With gentle hands, Osamu turns to the body so that you’re facing the present version. A firm hold on your arms holds you in place as a hot mouth leaves sloppy kisses along your neck in just the right spots to keep you feeling light-headed. Those hands eventually move. Snaking up too to grope at your titis through your sweatshirt. You go to squeeze your thighs together again, but suddenly there’s one less hand on your breast and a hand forcing your thighs apart.

“When she does that, squeeze her thighs together like that, it means she’s getting riled up,” The older explains while pressing fingers into your clothes clit and rubbing at it causing you to squirm slightly. “Why don’t we show him how wet you are darlin’?”

You simply nod because you want to see too. You can feel how arousal that's collected between your folds, but you've never gotten wet so fast before. Osamu gives you a little kiss on the cheek and helps you slip out of your legging and underwear leaving you bare from the waist down. You shiver both from your heated skin being exposed to the cool air of your apartment and the way that Osamu is staring from his spot on the couch/ The intensity of that look never fails to go straight to your groin.

One of older Osamu's hands dips between your spread thigh pushing through your folds. His fingers are a little rougher and that small difference feels so good. His fingers rub back and forth a few times, collecting your wetness as they go, before pulling them easy much to your dismay.

The older Osamu holds them up so that both you and his present self can see the strings of slick at connecting one digital to the other.

"Fuck," You both breathe.

Beyond the fingers, you can see Osamu relaxing into the couch and palming the crotch of his sweats

"'Samu, "You wine at both the older for him to touch you more and at the sight of the present touching himself.

"Aww, you want me to keep touching you down there darlin'?" the older coos into your year.

"Please," You ask nicely not feeling the least bit ashamed since both you and the present Osamu seem to want exactly that.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head darlin'," you feel warm hands slip up your sweatshirt. "I'm gonna touch you plenty. I can barely keep my hands off ya as is, but I wanna give my younger self a good view of how we make your body feel. So come off with the sweatshirt."

You do exactly as you told and strip out of your sweatshirt. You'd do anything to feel his fingers again. Osamu goes back to massaging your tits again, this time playfully rubbing your perk nippled between his fingers. Either Osamu wasn't telling you now you or at some point in the future, he loves playing with your boobs. You're only complaint was that he wasn't paying enough attention to the rest, more needing, parts of your body.

"Osamu, please~" you beg.

"See how easy it is to get her so needy?'

"Yea," the present Osamu nods his head stuffing a hand down his sweats.

"She just loves our touch that much. Right now if you were to ask she'd beg you to touch her, to fuck her, to do anything really, as long as it's us doing it," The older Osamu nudged your cheek with his nose making you crane your neck so that your lips are almost touching. " She's such a slutty little girl, " he says lower, "but she's our slutty girl, and we fucking love it."

Osamu's mouth is on yours again and there are fingers that aren't just rubbing your clit but now slipping inside. You moan into the older's mouth and buck your hips grinding against his hands. You hear a low curse from the present Osamu.

"Well, shit you look like your dick's about to explode there. You're about to cum but you're trying to make it last because you can't last very long after the first time can't ya."

A frustrated groan escapes the present Osamu's lips. He has the waistband of his sweats pulled down past his hips and his hand gripping the base of his flushed cock. He looked just about as lost in pleasure as you but had retained some sense of himself to pay attention so that he can learn how to make you feel this good in the future.

"Don't fret though because you're going to be able to go for rounds. Y/N can barely keep up in the future. I usually leave her so fucked out by the end of the night, but I make sure to take good care of her. Treat her to a nice bath and some home-cooked food in bed after I wreck her cunt. "

"O-Osamu," the name tumbles out as your breath quickens, everything that hen man was doing and describing to his younger self was so fucking hot and heavenly sounding.

"Holy fuck."

"Right? See what you can do when you start the impossible is possible? " he then addresses you. "You want more darlin'?"

"Please~"

"holy fuck Y/N," the present Osamu moans slowly stroking himself, "you sound so fucking good right now darlin'."

"That's what we love to hear," the older Osamu purrs. His hands leave your body but only for a moment to he unbuckles his pants and pull his dick free giving it a few pumps. Then they're on you again, grabbing your hips and lifting you up just enough that you stand on your tippy-toes.

"Now I'm gonna need to you stay just like that and keep squeezing those pretty thighs together. Can ya do that for us, darlin'?"

when he uses that nickname in that pitch of voice? It was a power that the present Osamu didn't realize he had yet, and god helps you the day that he did because you would do just about anything when he say's 'darlin' like that. you nod your yea with a little 'yes' and you feel the older's hands move to a firm grip on your elbows.

When he roughly pulls you into him your eyes go wild. This was new. The older Osamu's thick cock slips in and out from between your thigh, each thrust making your whole body jolt. Each time his hips meet the blunt head of his dick slips slang you slit and bumps against your slit making you see stars. All the while the present Osamu watches completely enthralled by the sight of his older self fucking your thighs. The way you titis are bouncing with every thrust, the way his older self is handing you like some treasured fuck toy, and those breathless moans you don't hold back, that's what he wants. He wants to be able to fuck you like that. He wants to be the only one to be able to make you feel the way you feeling right now. He just never thought he could until now.

"Does it feel good darlin'? The tip of my fat cock rubbing you like this?"

"y-yes!", answer as he paces quickens.

"Are you gonna cum like this? From me fucking your thighs while my younger self watches?"

you nod vigorously, the feeling of orgasm quickly building in your gut each time the tip of his dick meets your clit. You squeeze your thighs tighter your head lulls back when it finally washes over you.

"Shit," Osamu curses in your ear as his hips sputter and he spills his cum between your thighs, "Shit, that's it darlin' keep squeezin' round me like that. Don't she look so cute?"

"You haven't even fucked her yet," the present Osamu comments making the older chuckles

"You ready to watch that?”

"God yes," Osamu breaths out looking so desperate to watch you get railed by his older self that it's downright adorable.

The older Osamu chuckles. He handles you like you don't weigh a thing to him lifting you up and laying you back down at the end of the bed. The way the couch is facing the present Osamu has a perfect side view of the two of you. You set yourself up on your elbows when the older steps away. He doesn't bother stripping, he simply pulled his tee-shirt over his head and pushed his jeans down a little more.

"Oh god," You moan because holy fuck you have never wanted Osamu as bad as you wanted him now. He stands to at the foot of your had hands on his hips and a lopsided smirk letting you admire him in what wasn't even his full glory.

This thing that really gets you is how much Osamu hasn't, or in this cane won't change. His body was mostly the same. There's some muscles mass you could see in his forearm, chest, and the way that he manhandles you. His tits are still nice and supple, just begging for you to leave hickies on, and a faint patch of hair grows along his sternum. Your eyes roam across his soft tummy that has the faintest outline of abs the closer you look. Following his thicker trail of hair below his navel leads to his erect cock standing tall and as proud as he is that’s glistening under the soft light in your wetness.

"See," he glances at his younger self and his voice softens. "She really does love us and our body. Every last bit of it. Even on the day when we don't."

He then turns back to you," Now are you ready for me to fuck you darlin'?"

"Yes," you answer and spread your legs that are dangling off the foot of your bed a little wider to accommodate him.

When Osamu pushes into you there's a familiar burn of yourself stretching around him. The older takes things slowly so that you feel every inch of him entering you. Once he's bottom out in you Osamu takes your legs and wraps that around his waist.

Osamu's pace starts out slow and deep but doesn't stay this way for long. Soon your small apparent is filled with all sorts of lewd sounds. The loudest of which was the dull slaps of skin and squelching every time he thrusts back into you. They barely cover your breathless moans and high pitch whimpers. Both Osamu's are also being quite vocal. The present Osamu is cursing again as he bucks his hip and cums into his closed fist. Meanwhile, the older Osamu is grunting, jacking hammering into you. You can barely keep up with the brutal pace the older's set. All that you can really do at this point is grab and claw at his shoulders for something to hang on to for dear life too.

"Oh fuck. Oh, fuck Dalrin' you're gonna make me cum. Yer just suckin' me in a like that- shit! cummin'! I'm cummin' Y/N," Osamu moans burying himself as deep as he can inside you and flooding you with his release.

Feeling yourself being filled with Osamu's cum pushes you over the edge. Your walls flutters around his dick and thighs shake around his hips as you cum.

The order barely gives you time to catch your breath before he's calling for his younger self to switch places with him. The present Osamu is on his feet in an instant stripping out of his clothes on his way to you. The other Osamu moves aside, setting down on the couch and relaxing his arms across the back of it. He doesn't even bother to tuck his flaccid cock back into his jeans or fix his shirt. He smiles at the scene before him.

Osamu is hunched over you so you can wrap your arms around his neck and pull him that much closer to you as he fucks you. Like his older self, the pace is fast and deep. You can try and buck your hips but they aren't in sync with his thrusts. The mess, the disorganized movements of the two of you make things hotter, more intense. You're cumming again with a pleasured sob and Osamu continues to fuck you through it reaching his own high.

And he doesn't stop. Your present boyfriend keeps his feet planted on the floor and keeps fucking into even when his cum is being to seep out of your stuffed hole. He pulls away just enough so that he can see your flushed and sweaty face that he cups in his hands.

"One more yea"

your jaw trembles and the only words you can get out are incoherent so you nod.

A tired smile breaks out across his face. "That's my girl. Gonna make you f-feel so good. I'm going to make sure you always feel this good. gonna stuff you so full of my cum~"

You cum right along with Osamu, letting out a silent scream to fucked to do anything else. You can feel his whole body shudder as he pulls out of you. You immediately feel a mixture of you, him, and maybe even his future self leak out of your spent cunt. You feel him move you up the bed so that you can catch your breath while fully laying in your own bed with Osamu cuddled up next to you.

"Darlin'."

"Hmmm?" you hum eyes still closed.

"He's gone."

You peak an eye open and sure enough, the couch was empty now. You were too tired to really think about where the older Osamsua had gone but somewhere in your mind was the assumption that he went back to his own timeline in the future.

"Too tired and icky to care."

You feel fingers thread themself through you and massage your scalp. you lean into Osamu's touch and you're fully content to just lay here in the mess the two of them had made of you for the rest of the night.

"How about I run you a nice bath and we get cleaned up hmm? We can go back to my place and worry about your sheets tomorrow. "

"Will you cook for me?"

"Whatever ya want darlin'."

A few years down the road Osamu bursts into the apartment that you two share scaring the living hell out of you. "Fuck! Don't burst in like that."

"Sorry," he apologizes kicking off his shoes. "But it happened It finally happened."

"What happened?"

He strides over to the couch where you had been working on to laptop but set it aside and pulls you into his lap. He nuzzles his face into your neck and you can feel his wide smile on your skin. "That night during Junior year."

"We had lots of nights Junior. Give me more than that." you request already thinking of your favorite nights spent with Osamu rather it was making an all-night drive just to watch the sunrise, nights where you went out in a group of friends and went home wearing his shoes or being carried on his back, nights spent in eating his cooking, nights spent with his dick plugged into you...

"I made love to you while I watch."

"Ah that night," you smile, "The details are a little fuzzy, Mabey you can help job my memory after dinner with the team tonight?"

His arms tightened around your waist, "Oh, gladly darlin'."

more my Haijyuu fics can be found here: Haikyuu collection

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #osamu miya #osamu x y/n #haikyuu osamu #osamu scenarios #privet stacks

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jamiedc-they-them · 3 years

Text

One way ticket (Platonic)

Requested Imagine: An argument with your parents sends you to your best friend, and on a journey of self discovery.

The door to your house swung open, and a tired you walked in through it. You closed the door, your back resting against it as you closed your eyes. Today had been a hard day, lots of studying and deadlines.

However, part of the weariness now came from being at home. It was something you weren’t exactly thrilled by.

“Evening, dear.” Your mother called from the kitchen, your step father barely paying you any attention.

“Hi, mum.” You greeted in return. She gave you a smile. If it was your old dad, he would’ve said something.

But, they just had to fall out, didn’t they.

In your room, filled with posters of films and large posters of book covers and your favourite characters, you sunk into your bed, back hitting it first and you exhaled. For once, a moment of peace.

Your phone vibrated, and your reached for it. You saw the caller ID, and smiled.

“Dickhead.” She greeted in her usual manner. You could practically hear the smile on the other end.

“Maeve.” You weren’t as creative with the nicknames, but she didn’t care.

“Tough day?” She asked, there was some softer part to her tone there.

You let out a breath, “In a way.” Was your cryptic answer.

It wasn’t, however, cryptic to her, “Parents again?”

“They haven’t done anything yet.”

“That ‘yet’ is the concerning part, Y/N,” As she spoke, you heard the door to her home unlock. She was home too, “If they’re giving you any trouble, you call me, ok? Spend the night at mine. Nothing wrong with taking a break. Or just walking away” She assured you as you heard her keys hit the counter.

You always were a bit envious of your best friend, how carefree she was. If only your father didn’t cheat, maybe the month long that turned into a forever long break wouldn’t have happened.

“Yeah, he was a bit of a prick for doing that, wasn’t he?” Maeve’s voice was softer still when she spoke. Seemed you said some parts of that out loud.

You paused, hearing call up to you from downstairs, “That’s dinner. I’ll call you later.”

There was silence, she must’ve nodded and then remembered she was on the phone, “Yeah, sure thing.”

“So, son, how was school?” Internally, you cringed at the misgender, but didn’t correct your father. More importantly, neither did your mother. They had made their voices known on that want of yours, to go by something else, something they called a “none entity.”

“Good, yeah, thanks.” You answered, going back to your food.

“That it?” He asked, making you look up at him.

“Is what it?” It wasn’t meant to be a challenge.

He took it as one, though, staring you down as he spoke, “Was school just, ‘good’?”

“Yeah, I mean nothing really happened, mum can attest to that.” You answered, trying to be careful with your word choice. Your father’s choice of words explaining his action was what caused the break.

He looked to his wife, and she nodded, confirming it.

“You been hanging around with your friends?” You nodded, “They still…preferring to go by the plurals?” Again, you nodded, “Youth of today, doomed, I swear.”

“Because you don’t like a pronouns?” Ok, you shouldn’t have said that, and you immediately regretted it right after as there was a pause. It was sharp, and it was a direct pause.

Your father stopped eating and looked to you, “Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry, I –” You started to apologise. But you knew you had crossed a line.

You were in your room the next moment, having ran up there yourself to escape your fathers growing wrath.

You found your phone, dialling the number you needed instantly, “Maeve – I… I don’t –“

“What’s happened? Are you safe?” Was the first thing your friend asked, concern leaking through the phone.

“I don’t – I…I think Mum’s calming him down. But--”

“You know the bridge?” You nodded, and Maeve seemed to know that you had nodded, “Meet me there.”

“What?”

“Meet me there.”

“Can…can I stay the night?” You asked. You heard her door open and close, and her breathing became more laboured as she walked.

“Of course you can.” She answered.

“Ok, bridge, right?”

“Bridge.”

“Ok, see you there.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had nothing with you, just yourself. You didn’t even have a jacket. You were still in your school clothes, but the night was cold.

Maeve was there, just as she said she would be. When you saw her, she was smoking, but eyes were scanning the water.

She heard you approaching, and turned to you. Her eyes softened at your figure. You probably looked lonely, and you looked anxious. You were.

She approached you when you stopped, bringing your timid figure into a hug. She didn’t say anything, she just held you.

You appreciated it massively, how she didn’t say anything, just hugged you.

It lasted a few seconds, but when she released you, you were teary eyed. You were scared, but you weren’t alone. You were scared still.

She gave you a sympathetic smile, “Let’s go home.” She said, arm looping into yours and bringing you with her to her home. Yours was behind you, not too far away.

Unlocking the door, she opened it up and ushered you in, closing the door behind the door and flicking on the light and taking off her jacket.

“Do you want something to eat?” She seemed to just know without ever being told the circumstance you were in. It made you feel for your friend, wondering how she was able to just know what you had gone through.

She grabbed a spare plate, filling it with the Chinese food she had picked up on the way home.

Together, you both sat on the couch, eating in silence. She didn’t seem to mind, but she did curl up, feet touching your own.

“Thank you,” She looked to you at your words, “For this, I mean. Thank you.”

She smiled, “Anytime. I know what it’s like to have shitty parents.” She said, despite the attempt of humour, you detected the sadness that was there.

“Sorry.”

She shook her head, “You have nothing to be sorry for.” She told you. You both went back to eating, but she did grab a blanket for you both.

When you were done, you just started venting. You didn’t even mean to, it just all started to spill out. The whole time, she did not speak, she only let you talk and vent and rage about it all.

There were tears, your own tears as you spoke. Maeve passed you a new tissue every so often as you spoke.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am. You can stay here as long as you –”

“It’ll just be for tonight, I’ll go back tomorrow.” She looked like she wanted to say something, but nodded in granting and respecting your wish.

“You can have the bed.” She said, and your eyes met her’s in an instant.

“No, Maeve –”

She held up a hand to stop you, “I’m not arguing about this, Y/N. I don’t mind you going back tomorrow, but if you’re staying, then you take the bed.”

“…Why?”

She rolled her eyes, “Because I know how to be comfy on that sofa. Besides, can’t have my best mate here and have them be uncomfortable, can I?”

You resigned yourself to your fate, going to the bedroom, but not before you both shared another hug.

As you went to bed, you saw a piece of paper on the floor. Picking it up, it was a form to be a guardian, but the name was blank as to who it was. So, you just left it.

You woke up in your school clothes, you hadn’t exactly had time to change. But ‘school clothes’ you were wearing a smarter shirt than usual and some jeans.

Maeve entered your room, toothbrush in her mouth, “Morning.” She said, even if it wasn’t as clear as it could’ve been, what with the toothbrush and all.

“Morning.” You said in return, getting out of bed.

She spat into the sink, before leaning against the doorway, “You can borrow some of my clothes. I’ll make sure they aren’t too embarrassing.” She said, lightly, before going to the drawer to find just that.

“Might as well go out, right?” You joked, referencing to the opinion your parents had on your identity.

She laughed, “If you’re up for it.”

“Mum will say what she says, but I can’t let her define me, try and make her understand it.”

Maeve just nodded, but there was some conflict there.

Your mother worked at school, she was a science teacher – it was where her view on your identity came from.

You had her today on the schedule, you liked science enough, but you knew this would be an…awkward session.

Maeve had walked with you. She had called Aimee and told her she would be with you today, and the other woman understood, giving you her love. So, arm looped in yours, Maeve and you entered school.

“First period, you ready?” She asked, putting her head on your shoulder for a moment as you continued going down the hallway to the lesson. You ignored the looks from people in the hallway. Otis had his mother to contend with, now so did you.

“As I can be.” You answered honestly. As you got the doorway, she gave you a wink, before she went in first. After a few moments, so did you.

It was to make your mother think anything other than the fact that you had gone to Maeve for help.

As you went to your seat, you felt your mother’s eyes on you the whole way. When she went back to teaching, you saw that she had a slight darkness under her eyes. She had stayed up. A feeling stirred in your stomach. However, you went back to looking at the lesson.

You did pay attention, just not all the time. Sometimes, you’d find yourself writing notes or just looking them up yourself in the textbook, just to avoid looking at your mothers gaze.

However, as the bell rang, you were one of the last to leave. The other, was Maeve. She sat on the desk, legs swinging as she looked between yourself and your mum.

She never hated your mum, or your dad. They had their flaws, but it was mainly their apathy to who you wanted to be that pissed her off.

Still, she didn’t voice it, which was something that was unusual for her.

Your mother looked up at you as you put a book on her desk. You looked nervous, eyes darting a little, but you managed to get the words out, even throwing a bit of humour in with your tone.

“Parlay?” Behind you, once she approached, Maeve smiled a bit, before it turned a little bit – just a little – more threatening to your mother, a warning.

As stated before, she didn’t hate your mum, just hated the discomfort it caused you.

“He’s not angry, not now anyway. If anything, a little impressed.” Your mother said. The little amount of praise, despite it being so little, stirred something within you.

Maeve saw how your shoulders relaxed a little. How you seemed to almost not expect it, but be deeply appreciative of it at the same time. She made a mental note, and her smile became more sympathetic.

“Talk about it at dinner?” You asked, your mother nodded.

“Talk about it at dinner,” She said, standing up and packing her own bag to leave for the teachers lounge, “And I can finally meet this girlfriend of yours.” You sighed, seemed you wouldn’t be able to fully escape their ideas yet.

As she left, you turned to Maeve with your eyebrows up, but a tired expression on your face.

“Dinner?” She asked, light smile on your face.

You laughed, putting your hands to your face before moving them around and interlocking them at the back of your head, you smiled at your friend, “Dinner.” You confirmed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had gone back to Maeve’s place without her. She had something to do with the clinic, which you understood and so she gave you her keys, telling you only to leave the door unlocked for her.

So, it was just you, alone in the home. You actually looked around it now, seeing the little things, like how the cups were stacked neatly, how the plates had been washed. She took care of this place, she cared for it. It was a shithole, but she stayed and looked after it.

If she stayed and managed to make this place work, maybe you had hope with your parents just yet.

Your thoughts went back to them, your parents. Maybe you had been too hasty, maybe they’d just accept you back with open arms. Maybe, for once, they’d be sorry. You had stood up to your father, that was new.

Maybe you’d still have a place to go.

The door opened, and Maeve entered, she tossed her bag onto the sofa and took her jacket off, giving you a smile as she saw you getting a drink.

“Sorry I took so long, Otis held me up.” She said, gently moving you aside and doing the same – getting a drink – for herself.

“It’s alright, he’s a good guy but can…I don’t know.” You conceded, not really knowing how to explain your other friend – a mutual one of yours.

“Much?” She filled, you nodded.

“Please don’t make a scene tonight.” Your friend took a sip of her water and looked at you, almost a little taken aback by your words. You further explained, “I need to go well, Maeve, please. I can’t have it turn into another row. I can’t have another uncomfortable breakfast, again.”

Maeve stopped you, “Wait, ‘again’? Your staying?!” She couldn’t stop the surprise that one.

You cocked your head, “Course I am. Why wouldn’t I? They’re my parents –”

“Not good ones.” She pointed out.

“They aren’t the worst.”

Again, she couldn’t help herself, “They aren’t exactly the best either,” She sighed, putting her glass down and approaching you, putting her hands on your shoulders, before using one hand to cup your chin and turn it up to face her, “You are so much better without them, Y/N. They don’t accept you for who you are. I’m sure in some way they love you, just like my mum did. But, you know what I did.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement, you did know what she had done.

Part of you resented her for having the strength to do it. Still, you insisted, “I can’t just drop them like that, Maeve…How would I fund school? What about rent and –”

“We’d figure it out –”

Now it was you stopping her, or more so talking over her at her first word, “’We’?”

She creased her eyebrows, “Yeah, ‘we’, you think I’d just leave you if you did it?” She almost seemed hurt at the accusation she was now accusing you of.

“I just – I don’t think I can do that. I don’t even know how.” You confessed, voice sounding tired.

“I do, I know how,” Maeve assured as she nodded a few times, “It’s called ‘emancipation’.”

As she went to explain, the alarm on your phone went off. Looking at it, you saw it was a half hour reminder to get to your house for the dinner.

“Just…please don’t mess this up for me…please.” Was all you asked of your best friend.

Her eyes softened at the pain, the loss, and the fear that laid within them. She had more on her mind, more she wanted to say, you could see that clear as day. Still, she nodded, and said nothing.

You stood outside your door with your best friend by your side. You had walked together in silence, both trying to prepare as much as you could for this event. The main thing you had said to the other being that you looked nice. You both did, you in your normal clothes, Maeve in a dress. She had even redone her makeup.

You saw that hurt in her eye hadn’t fully left, but there was an almost apathetic look now. She was here to help you, not to appease your parents who she had plenty to say on.

You knocked, the door opening and your father stood there in smart, but causal wear. Seemed he’d put some effort into it too. Out of the pair, your mother had the better job, but it didn’t matter. Job meant nothing to how you were as a person.

He didn’t say anything, he only moved aside as a silent beckoning to enter. You both did so.

Maeve took time to look around. She didn’t comment, just looked around. She then met your eyes, a bit of life returning and you saw them soften a little, she raised her eyebrows; “Fancy.” Her gaze seemed to communicate to you.

You had no idea if she meant it or not, so you just smiled a thin one, trying not to show your nerves. Maeve, however, was good at reading people. So, as you went to the table in silence, she held your hand to provide some comfort.

However, as you both sat at the table, you saw your mother had seen the hand holding in a different light. Of course she did.

You saw her have a look on her eyes, almost a proud look. You felt Maeve tighten her hold on your hand, trying to supress a sense of frustration. It did pain you a little, but you tried not to show it. This was redemption with your parents, not a further regress.

Still, she didn’t say anything, she remembered the promise she made. And Maeve Wiley was not one to break a promise…to the best of her ability.

“So, you’re the mysterious Maeve we’ve been hearing all about?” Your mother asked as your father put food on the table. No, the irony was not lost on you.

Maeve looked to you, a silent dialogue going between you two. However, your communication was clear, “I’ve never mention you to them.” She knew it wasn’t in a mean way, just wanted confirmation.

She nodded, “Yeah, that’s me.” She said, bullshit smile on her face. The smile, however, eased your mother – hell, even doing the same to your father, for once he smiled and it was genuine.

You envied it. But, as you put your hands on the table, Maeve held one. To your parents, it meant the opposite to what it actually was, she gave your hand a squeeze.

“One step closer to being a man, my lad.” Your mother hadn’t been lying when she told you your father was proud. Christ.

You looked at your father with the same distaste you always had for him, but now it was less easy to mask.

So far, no food had been touched by anyone other than your mother.

“See? Even got the look.” He seemed to celebrate your hatred. Not revel in it, just celebrate it.

“’The look’?” You parroted back to him in a questioning manner.

“Yeah, every man needs –”

“Y/N doesn’t identify as a man, though.” Maeve spoke up. You moved your hands down to your side, keeping your eyes only on your best friend. You shook your head, begging her not to.

She, however, only kept her eyes on your father, a challenging and daring look in her eyes, “Y/N is a they –”

“Not this bollocks again. He got you doing it now, too.” Your father’s tone was filled with frustration.

“Yeah, I guess they have, haven’t they?” Her eyes squinted a bit, she seemed to be daring for him to try it.

“Let me guess, you two haven’t shagged either?” He sounded tired. Done.

Wasn’t quite the bite Maeve was looking for, but she still took it, “Y/N doesn’t feel that way about anyone. They don’t won’t a partner in that way, and that’s just fine.”

“It’s sick,” Your father looked to your mother, “Isn’t that right, honey?”

She seemed to just be enjoying her food, but when your father asked, she hesitated. There were a few look in her eyes, fear wasn’t one of them, but shame was as she spoke, “Yes.” Her voice was monotone.

“I think it’s time you leave.” Your father said, seemingly taking back control.

However, Maeve stayed put, “Not without Y/N.” She was firm in that.

“Get out, now, or I will call the police,” He then looked to you, “Is that why you brought her, to get it all out in the open these beliefs you have about yourself?” His tone was cold.

“N-No.” You managed to stutter out.

“If you lay one hand on them –”

“Him, and I won’t. I’d never hit my boy, I just need it to get through to him that he can’t think the way he does.”

“So, verbal then?”

“If you want to be a snowflake, then yes, verbal.” He seemingly had no problem with saying that.

So, Maeve stood up, and she gave you a pat on the shoulder and an apologetic look. Then, with a click of the door, she was gone.

Silence permeated the room, and now your father had his hands on the table and his chin resting on them.

“I don’t want you seeing her again.” Your father said, “Go to your room, I’ll bring some food up in a few minutes.”

You didn’t say anything, only getting up from the table, “Phone.” Your father said. You brought the item out of your pocket and gave it to him, before going upstairs.

You laid on your bed, closing your eyes and letting out a sigh. Could’ve gone better, but it definitely could’ve gone worse.

You heard a knock at your door. You gave yourself a moment to try to get rid of the tears that were pooling in your eyes and told whoever was there to come in.

It was your father, who was carrying a tray with a plate of food on. He placed it on the floor, before he stood at the door.

“You know I just want what’s best for you, right?”

It was bollocks, but you nodded, “It’s just…there are two ways of being. I’d rather you be Trans than be…this.” Harsh, but it was more honest, more controlled.

Again, you nodded. You hated the words he said, but you nodded.

“We’ll talk again, tomorrow.” He then left, closing the door more softly this time.

You picked up the tray, apathetic look on your face as you ate the food. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest.

This was your life, one filled with pain, but two parents that gave you a roof over your head.

You heard a knock at your window, turning, you saw the last person you expected to see. It was the face of someone else who gave you a roof over your head.

She waved to you. You put your empty plate down and looked to the door. He never did say you couldn’t leave. Then again, he also said you couldn’t be how you felt inside. So, you know.

Quietly, you made your way to the window, opening it with her help. Neither of you spoke, but she didn’t need to, she only offered you a hand – and a silent question along with it.

You looked to the door one more time, one that – outside of it – held only misery.

You took the hand that was offered.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She held your hand the whole way home, leading the way. However, this time you worked with – an admittedly – shaky confidence.

She opened the door, going to her bed room to get her dress off. You, meanwhile, got a glass of water and sat down. You knew your dad still had your phone, but that was ok.

Maeve re-entered, now with pyjamas on, “What’s on your mind?” She asked, seeing a look on your face that told her you had a plan.

“Mum’s gonna be at school tomorrow. But, I’ve made my choice, I’m done with them. We just need to do that…what’d you call it, ‘emancipation?’”

Maeve nodded, “Ok, we’ll need some papers for the court. Plus, I have this,” At ‘this’ Maeve held up her phone and hit ‘play’ it was a recording of the meal.

It was proof.

“Ok, you got my back?” You asked.

“Always.” She swore.

So, off to school you went to execute your plan. You walked to the school grounds, talking and – for once, in your case – being happy and having a sense of agency.

You had made your request to the court and made some calls to friends, now you just had to hope your parents wouldn’t try and stop it.

“Otis and everyone else agreed? Just like that?” You asked, only having spoken to Eric while Maeve called everyone else.

“A noble cause worth fighting for.” She said with a smile, parroting your own one.

You believed those words, and you believed in your own course too, you believed in your own freedom.

Going to science, you saw your other friends now sat there, awaiting you. It started out as normal, just with you in a more positive beat.

That was, until the bell rang and your mother asked you to stay behind. Without having to ask, your other friend stayed as well.

“So, you’re applying for emancipation?” She asked, tone flat.

“That’s right.” You answered, sure of your choice.

“You know we’ll fight it, right? There’s no way you can take care of yourself out there. You can barely handle us. Besides, who else is going to take care of you?”

You felt a presence next to you, it was Maeve. However, you felt the others behind you.

“They will.” You said, standing strong, “And, yes, it’ll cost us, but we’ll fight it. Because it’s worth it. You were toxic to me, mum. And, I think I deserve better.”

With that, you and your new family walked out.

It had been a long battle, one filled with ups and downs, but the others stood by you, chipping in however they could.

Plus, Maeve found herself with a new sibling, so that was something. It felt nice, to be validated, to have your pronouns respected and your thoughts taken on board.

As you returned home from school one day, Maeve had left a bit earlier. You opened the door, going in and throwing your bag to the floor and laying on the couch, “Good day?” She asked, stirring the coffee she had made.

You looked to her with a smile, “Yeah, good day.” You confirmed.

#maeve wiley x reader #meave wiley imagine #sex education imagine #sex education x reader

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jacepens · 3 years

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okay, so I was reading through some of your posts, and I definetly need to hear more about the "flirting-through-their-wives" thing tho...

yes yes indeed!

Thank you msrandomstuff! I shall do my best to provide:) <3

Let me start first with Lafayette's letter to Washington and this lovely little passage here: June 12-13, 1779. Laf to GW.

"Be so kind, My dear General, as to present My Best Respects to Your lady, and tell her how happy I would feel to present them Myself to her, at her own house—I have a Wife, My dear General, who is in love with you, and affection for you Seems to Me So well justified that I Can’t oppose Myself to that Sentiment of her’s—She Begs you would Receive her Compliments, and Make them acceptable to Mrs Washington—"

Now, this is just my biased speculations but- Lafayette says Adrienne (although should I take into consideration the extra playful nature here when he just names her as "a Wife"? Rather than my wife or Adrienne? Is it suspicious or regular Laf behavior? One could look at that and say, right or wrong, "a Wife" may not actually be Adrienne...if you catch my drift.) is very in love with Washington and Lafayette feels just as strongly as she does! But if we are flirting through our wives, let me add that my wife continues to compliment yours and actually, let me praise and compliment you twice, George. Because Laf did start this letter by expressing his concern for Washington's safety. Romance aside, I could see Lafayette playfully doubly begging George to keep himself safe and remember his Marquis loves him.

But it's Washington's response that really gets me, and it gets the little cogs in my head turning.

Sept 30, 1779. GW to Laf

"Tell her [Adrienne] (if you have not made a mistake, & offered your own love instead of hers to me) that I have a heart susceptable of the tenderest passion, & that it is already so strongly impressed with the most favourable ideas of her, that she must be cautious of putting loves torch to it; as you must be in fanning the flame. But here again methinks I hear you say, I am not apprehensive of danger—My wife is young—you are growing old & the atlantic is between you—All this is true, but know my good friend that no distance can keep anxious lovers long asunder, and that the Wonders of former ages may be revived in this—But alas! will you not remark that amidst all the wonders recorded in holy writ no instance can be produced where a young Woman from real inclination has prefered an old Man—This is so much against me that I shall not be able I fear to contest the prize with you—yet, under the encouragement you have given me I shall enter the list for so inestimable a jewell."

Washington has immediately caught Lafayette! hehe. (On a historian-rambly note, I just love how human and playful the line: if you have not made a mistake, and offered your own love instead of hers to me is) And it seems that Washington very enthusiastically receives Lafayette's double compliment! He even confesses to having a heart susceptible to the tenderest passion, you know, the only kind of passion Lafayette has for Washington. (It could be nothing. But. I find it interesting that it is passion, singular rather than passions, plural. I honestly read it as passions but nope...just one passion. Could be normal, might not be.)

But please please I need to talk about the second half. George continues to assure Laf (I mean his "wife"-) that he is so favorable of her (him) that he must be careful to...put love's torch to the flame of George's fondness. I actually find this part extra fascinating and while my first thought is, how cute!! I can't help but read into it the longer I look at it.

So, hear me out. George is afraid of falling in love with Lafayette or vice versa or naming what they share as love love. Again, this is more heavy speculation and just one way to read it, but this sentence just really stands out to me.

But, it sounds like this is a conversation they've had before, so often in fact, that George knows exactly what Lafayette would say in response. Lafayette does not mind the danger. Mind the danger. (not apprehensive of the danger) Do you- do you see what I see? (what's more dangerous than being in love love with a man?) But but then I hear some sadness from George. There can be no real danger when they are separated by the ocean and even their age? A fire cannot burn them down from such distance. (Now I'm just talking...)

But no fear!:) We will be reunited, (I'm having an epiphany, Laf was anxious of George at the beginning of his first letter. That's probably a giant leap to make but I'm making it anyway lol). Ps can someone smarter than me tell me what the Wonder of former ages is? xD I can take some guesses, but I'm not too sure. Maybe it's nothing fancy at all.

But but please. The way it ends. George seems to go a little back and forth between sad, self-deprecating and hopeful and loving, but he ends on the cute cuuuute fact that Lafayette encourages his pursuit and love:) George will enter the list so the inestimable jewel of Lafayette's..."wife". (Lafayette)

Cute. Too cute. Am I digging too far into things that have no meaning? Perhaps. Is this still just...flirting with each other through their wives? (platonic or romantic) Yes oh my god yes.

But I'm not done. (Same letter from GW to Laf)

"It only remains for me now, to beg the favour of you to present my respectful compliments to your (but have I not a right, as you say she has made a tender of her love to me—to call her my) amiable & lovely Marchioness—& to assure you that with every sentiment of the most perfect regard, & personal attachmt I have the honr to be My Dear Marquis Yr Most Obedt & affect. Servt"

Please. please. Pleeease. Come oonnnnn. The emphasis on "your" (I checked Laf's full letter that he wrote the above passage in. He never once calls Adrienne "my" just, "a wife". Technically, "a Wife" could be anyone. I rest my case. (or it could be the differences in French and English for all I know. I don't know French, but I'm assuming Laf knows the difference between a and my at this point. Maybe a bold assumption, maybe not.)) only to very cheekily add again, George caught Laf's double compliments of him through his wife. George knows he's writing this to (my) Lafayette. And then of course, he calls Lafayette My (My!!) Dear Marquis (no abbreviations this time here folks). Obviously, I know George calling Laf My Dear Marquis is nothing out of the ordinary, but in this context, it seems worth nothing, does it not?

And. This quote still keeps me up at night. It's not a full flirting-through-wives, but what does it meeean?

From Laf to GW. 5-10 January 1779. (Right before Laf left for France during the war, same year as those letters above)

"I hope you will quietly enjoy the pleasure of being with Mrs Washington, without any disturbance from the ennemy till I join you again;"

I could again spend way too much time looking at all the different angles of this. It- it's just the "till I join you again" that really gets me.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this?? I hope it was sensible, but really, thank you so so much for giving me an excuse to ramble about this. I feel like there are still so many different ways this could be interpreted and if I had more time, I would love to find the photocopies of these letters to potentially analyze even what was crossed out or what looked rewritten vs very natural and not edited. (Washington claimed he didn't edit his letter much, but how true is that I wonder? lol)

Also, not that I think you would, but don't take anything I've said as fact except for the quotes themselves:) Like I said, this is all my (biased) speculations and interpretations but it's honestly not built on a lot of background on how they communicated with other people. (Again, if I had more time, I'd love to see if I could find if these things were standard for them to say or rare).

But really, on an aside, can historians stop assuming everyone as straight? I want lgbtq+ until proven differently xD. Because when you think about it, the lgbt spectrum is a vast number of identities and straight is just one. (Not that people who aren't alive to label themselves should officially have modern labels put on them, but in that same thought, why then call them all straight?)

Ok ok you've listened to me talk enough.

Thank you!! <3 I hope this satisfies:) (ps anyone is free to add to this)

#washette #I talk your ear off #I'm sorry but thank you #asks #msrandomstuff #did I ever tell you I love your icon?#you know I bet these dumbasses never once thought that random enbies would be intensely analyzing every word they wrote for gay subtext #but here we are #suck it

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tepkunset · 4 years

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@avatarfandompolice is a blog that likes to misuse progressive language in attempt to make ignorant, racist posts sound more intelligent than they are. While most of their blog consists of arguing about ‘zutara,’ (which I recently learned is a ship name for Zuko and Katara from an anon), there is also a large number of posts and reblogs under the premise of being “hot takes” on how unfair it is to address racism in fandom and in media.

Avatarfandompolice is very sensitive about people pointing out that Avatar: The Last Airbender is not, in fact, flawless. That a show made by two white men featuring Asian and Indigenous characters and influences is fully capable of getting things wrong. That their western colonial views are influences all on their own, and it shows. Rather than listen to fans of colour point out things like these posts for example: [Link] [Link] [Link], avatarfandompolice has decided that such things must simply be fake, and has made multiple posts complaining it. This is not just regular ignorance, this is wilful ignorance. The dismissal of critique simply because they cannot fathom not everyone being able to handle the amount of issues they are freely educating others on, or people holding the ability to like something overall while also pointing out where it could be better.

It is my firm belief that you should never absorb media with an uncritical eye. If this was the case, if people just accepted everything given to them, then we would never see any progress. We need to be able to look back at something and say here’s what we did right, and here’s what we need to do better with.

The argument that A:TLA was made in 2012 and therefore should not be analyzed with a modern understanding of the world is downright hilarious, too. As if we aren’t taught to write literature analysis on books and plays that are centuries old in school. In particular regards to the whole cop thing... if anyone reading this seriously thinks that hate and fear of the police is just a 2020 trend, you can meet me in the pit. I was four years old when I learned how terrifying cops are. If your experiences differ, let me tell you that does not make them universal. And as for all the 20-somethings talking about it today, well, gentle reminder that as said by avatarfandompolice right here, the show aired in 2012. Little 10-year-old kids don’t have social media, (at least I hope they don’t,) and unless they grew up experiencing first-hand police terror, probably were not aware of it at that age. I do not know why avatarfandompolice insults people's ability to grow and learn. I can only guess it’s jealously from their lack of ability to do so.

Now let’s address their defences of whitewashing, which is easily the most backwards reaching I’ve seen on this issue in a while. Primarily their defence relies on four repetitive “points” —

Fake minuscule percentages to downplay the high prevalence and extremity of whitewashing in the fandom

Deflecting the addressing of whitewashing with rapid-fire fake scenarios and claims of “reverse racism” / “blackwashing”

Claiming whitewashing isn’t real because people only care about it with Katara

Claiming that calling out whitewashing in fandom is wrong because it hurts artists

I have only so much as dipped my toes into the A:TLA fandom, and even I have seen a lot of whitewashed fan art. If you do an image search for fan art, I guarantee within the first couple rows of results, there will be in the absolute least, a few examples. The idea of these artworks not substantially lightening skin is also just plain inaccurate. Just from a quick Google search, this is literally the first result for ‘Avatar The Last Airbender Katara fan art’:

Avatarfandompolice is also hyper-focused on the lightening of skin, and seems to be under the impression that this is the only component of whitewashing. I come to this conclusion because when someone pointed out the equal prevalence of depicting these characters of colour with Western European features instead of their actual eyes, noses, etc., they rip a giant turd out of their ass and scrawl the words “but stereotyping” over it. No, not all Asian peoples and Indigenous peoples look the same. The original poster made no such claim of this at all. Avatarfandompolice jumped to this conclusion all on their own... (which really says a lot in itself). It is entirely unrelated to the point. The point being the erasure of how these characters look, in favour of giving them whiter features. And guess what? This does hurt. But I’ll get to that below.

The lack of understanding of whitewashing is on full display when avatarfandompolice talks about “blackwashing”; the idea that colouring characters with darker skin is just like whitewashing. Firstly, there is no such thing as “blackwashing.” “Blackwashing,” “brownwashing,” etc. does not exist because it is a false equivalency to whitewashing. It is a false equivalency to whitewashing because white people are not even in the slightest loosing representation when a white character is re-imagined as a racial minority, whereas when racial minorities are re-imagined as white people, they are taking away from what is already very little representation for us. If we lived in a world where the statistics of representation were not so drastically disproportionate, then there would be something to talk about. But if you are really wanting to support equality, you should focus on equitably supporting those who actually need it, not white people. As for specifically depicting characters like Sokka and Katara with darker skin than what they have in the show, the same applies, (so long as it’s not racebending them as we really shouldn’t be taking representation away from each other, and the artist avatarfandompolice ridicules above has done no such thing,) because colourism also exists within nonwhite communities as well.

As for the fake questions about cosplaying, the answer is really simple: Cosplay however you want, but don’t make pretending to be a different race part of your cosplay. If you want to cosplay Katara, you can do it without painting your skin darker, aka brownface. If you want to cosplay Zuko, you can do it without editing yourself to look East Asian, aka digital yellowface. The racist history behind this is an internet search away, but I suppose that is too difficult for avatarfandompolice to do.

Avatarfandompolice has made multiple claims that people must not really care about whitewashing if they only call it out for Katara. It is laughable at best, and sad at worst, that this is the conclusion they come to, and not the fact that unfortunately Katara just happens to be subjected to more whitewashing than other characters. I assume this is from a mix of her popularity as well as being a WOC and not MOC. This is not to say that whitewashing does not exist with male characters—not in the slightest. Half the images on this “10 fan art pictures of Sokka that are just the best” list from CBR are whitewashed. Only that across fandoms, whitewashing is more prevalent in female characters, by my observations at least.

Finally—and this one pisses me off the most—avatarfandompolice claims that whitewashing is no big deal, but calling out whitewashing is too harmful to justify. How fucking dare you put the feelings of artists who can’t handle critique of their work (that they publicly share) over fans of colour, who are constantly subjected to seeing our identities and looks not being worth respecting. As if it doesn’t imprint on your mind from a very young age how only villains ever have your facial features, because they’re ugly and I guess that means you’re ugly. As if there is something wrong with you. As if respecting you is regarded as extra effort, and not just common courtesy.

Whitewashing is a form of colourism, which is a form of racism. It is the favouritism, unconscious or not, of white features and the erasure of visible characters of colour. It is not fandom drama. It is not being too lazy to focus on “real issues” because it is part of a real issue. It is yet another part of why fandom spaces are so uninviting to POC. We live in a society that favours lighter skin. Corporations make fortunes from selling products to bleach your skin, products to contour your features away or go as far as surgery, all to meet beauty standards set by and influenced by white colonizers. That does not exist in A:TLA, and that’s called refreshing escapism. But it’s hard to escape that when the fandom constantly reminds you otherwise. It is a perfect example of how the classic “just let people enjoy things” complaint is nothing but disguised racism, because it’s only ever said regarding white fans’ enjoyment, at the expense of fans of colour.

None of the characters in A:TLA are white. Redesigning them and recolouring them as if they are, be it out of accident or intent is wrong. If you get called out for it, apologize, learn from the experience and do better going forward. You’ll also improve your art this way.

Beyond excusing whitewashing, avatarfandompolice has overt racist posts as well. A Black fan said they like to headcanon Katara as being partially Black; “I swear Katara was a sister. Im convinced there ain't no way she didn't have some black in her.” Avatarfandompolice jumps in saying “She's literally an Inuit but ok” as if being an Inuk person means Katara can’t possibly also be Black. The OP never claimed Katara was not Indigenous, simply that they also saw her as Black. Black Indigenous peoples exist. Black Inuk peoples exist. It is overtly anti-Black to say otherwise. But what even is the point of talking to avatarfandompolice about that? You know, you would think in trying to put such a front up of caring about the Inuit, they would do the most basic learning of the proper grammatical use of Inuit and Inuk. (As is the case with a great many Indigenous Nations, Inuit is both the Nation and plural. Inuk is singular. “An Inuit” / “Inuits” as avatarfandompolice has used just makes their dressed-up racism all the more pathetic. It’s similar to as if you said “Chinas” instead of “Chinese”.)

But all this is nothing, nothing compared to the worst post I had the displeasure of seeing. In a single post, avatarfandompolice manages to squeeze in insult against low income people, Mexican people, Jewish people, and Black people in a mockery of financial help posts. Absolutely disgusting, childish behaviour from a place of privilege. As someone who has had no option but to make such a post before, more than once, let me fucking tell you that the embarrassment and desperation when in that situation is unparalleled. It is not done lightly. It is done when you are at the last resort of having nothing but hope that the combined generosity of others will be enough to save you and your family. And what adds a whole other level to the odiousness of avatarfandompolice’s post is that they specifically targeting low income minorities to boot. Because we’re all poor beggars, right?

All in all, for someone who prides themselves in calling others ignorant, avatarfandompolice has to be one of the most obtuse fandom blogs I have ever scrolled through. They are as vile as they are pathetic, and my sincere sympathy for anyone who has been unfortunate enough to interact with them. It has been a while since I so strongly recommend blocking someone.

#avatarfandompolice #atla #atla fandom #racism #whitewashing #long post #fit for a queue

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the-furies · 2 years

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i am going 2 Infodump abt our system fuck it I'm bored <3 asks from here

🍓- if you’re an introject, what is ur source/who are you? (Don’t tell if uncomfy!) - My source is T.he Bi.nding of I.saac! I'm a fictive of Magdalene :3c I go by Mags/Maggie now and my pronouns are lov/lovself, love/loveself, any heart emoji pronouns, and she/her!

📍- funny story that happened in exomemories? (If u have any) - OHOH THAT'S A QUESTION! Don't think I can rlly answer that. Closest I could think of would be being home alone fr a few months w Eve and being like "Bro we could just eat ICE CREAM AND SWEETS >:3" and.,,, almost doing that FNDNSJDKCKC I was like,, 10-11, Eve was around 12-13ish iirc

🍒 - funny story that happened in headspace? -

Rosie, Allan, and I, just chillin up front, Xm.en on in the bg irl:

Qui.cksi.lver, suddenly appearing in-sys from a system gate/portal: ... ??

Us: ????

Rosie: ,,, Hi.

Qui.cks.ilv.er: ,,, Wrong timeline. Sorry *proceeds to leave the system*

That was like a week ago we haven't heard back from him since HWSJDJFK

🌹 - funny story that happened in the meatspace? - I HONESTLY CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TBH CJXJDIC

🍊 - tiktok audio/vine that reminds you of a headmate? - ok we don't watch much vines or tiktoks so idk abt that but as for funny clips n shit we've got:

"If instruments were voices and voices were instruments" which reminds me of the whole sys tbh but that's bc it's a current vocal stim

I Thlammed My Penith Into The Car Door, which reminds me of Daffodil bc we call her Daffy and it's an inside joke now

This...... OOC vin.esa.uce clip. NSFW warning. Only bc of how Vinny says "I would like to apologize" Which makes me think of everyone who's a common fronter atm bc it's another vocal stim

🎃 - who is fronting/close to fronting rn? - Me and Moo.ndrop!! Moony's up front bc 🌛's one of my caretakers and bc 🌛 helps us sleep!

🥕 - are any headmates frontstuck/co-con stuck right now? - ,,, Also me and Moo.ndrop! BDNDNSNCJC I've been frontstuck kinda for like a week give or take and same w Moony and Sunny bc I have adopted them as my In-Sys Parents™

🏵 - random song lyric please :D - “Now wouldn't you know, you're choking on the spite” v v good new re.d vo.x song™

🌟 - how did you find out you were plural? - Honest to God we've been plural since as long as we can remember we just found a name for it when we joined tumblr LMAO

🌻 - do you use I/me, I&/me&, us/we, and/or any 1st person neos? - Some of us do use first person neos!! Tho as a whole we alternate btwn i/me and we/us, whichever feels right in the moment. Off the top of my head tho, Mischief uses I& (and She&/Her& pronouns), Samson is trying out Ix/Ix'm and xI/xI'm, andddd many of our median sysmates use we/us fr themselves or I& too!

🌙 - do any headmates have typing quirks? If so, what are they? - Yes many of us do!! Su.ndr.op doubles any punctuation and usually ends all sentences with “!!”, Rosie likes to “tYPE LIKE THIS DJAJAKSKDFK” (which has. Absolutely bled into the rest of the system lmao) anddd a handful of our sysmates tend to type out their echoing/stuttering/glitching when it happens in-sys!

🍋 - do you have a host? If so, who are they? - ,,, Not really JSJSKDICKCFND our closest thing to a host would be Rosie who's. Unstable as fuck! And then we have Allan who's. Unstable as fuck without Rosie! And then there's me who's filling in as temporary host/temp third Main which is a role that changes often. I'm the only one w braincells if I do say so myself /JOKEEEE

☘️ - what do you use to keep track of system members? - Pluralkit on Discord!! Ever since the system's gone past like,,, 10 members we find it much easier 2 note everyone down via PK than use a notes app like we did a few years ago

🌿 - current member count? - *checks pk* uhhhjjj 385 and counting! I don't think that's counting most walk-ins tho which we keep logged on our pk jic they pop back in which I'll be re-adding soon

🌱 - share a picture (drawing, icon edit, picrew etc.) of urself in headspace! - WOOOO OK

I keep many a things on my person in-sys and one of them is indeed a sword. Other things include many chew toys, a handful of stim toys, and my Yum Heart!

🦎 - do you share memories with your headmates? - Yeah!! Be they exomems or stuff that happened irl, it's p easy for us to share memories tbh! Sometimes it's by accident but usually it's consensual

🦋 - any ‘-heavy’s? (introject heavy, little heavy, protector heavy, etc.) - Introject heavy for sure BCNDSNXNCKD anddddd at this point I'd say maybe syskid heavy? Judging off who fronts most often usually which is mainly just,, my sibs and I (aside from this past week goddamn). Despite having a lotta members most of them aren't active or don't front ever usually lmao

🐬 - any nonhumans? - SO MANY YES!! I myself am part angel in-sys and consider myself part doll! Buuuuuut yeah actually... P much everyone in the system isn't human in some way I forgor that was a thing so I didn't list it in the last question NFNFMDKFFK

🛋 - what does headspace look like? - It changes quite often!! Rn it's a huge open field, like REALLY huge. Our fronting area is a big ol' tree with lots of shade. A few ft away is a small cabin which is where Sam (nOT TO BE CONFUSED W SAMSON FJDJFJ) resides when he's not afk from the system, andddd further back in the headspace is,,, more foresty stuff I think?

But that's just the main layer lmao. Our other layers are mainly kinda in outer space, but the layers my sibs, family, and my other sourcemates reside on are an abandoned cathedral and an open, stormy sea.

🧿 - what does front look like? - welp. I already described front. whoops JWJWJDKFKF

☔️ - favorite thing about being plural? - Having friends and family being with me 24/7!! Sure we have friends and family outside the system but it's,, simply not the same as having friends and family share the same body as you y'know? It's hard to explain but we're all just. MUCH closer I guess! And inseperable both literally and metaphorically FJDJDJFJG

👾 - collective name/pronouns? - Rn we go by Greed (or Greed Mode, or Ultra Greed, etc.) or Knives, and our pronouns are they/them or mirrored pronouns, meaning someone would use their pronouns for us when talking abt us!

🌂 - singletsona? - Our singletsona irl goes by Tyler/Ty and they do not give a shit abt pronouns and wish not 2 be perceived by anyone god bless <3

👿 - origin(s)? - BDHSJDJDHAAAHA well. Mixed origin tbh. Endogenic, Nihilumgenic, and Protogenic!

#maggie.talk #long post #system shit #system infodumping #fuck it we might do this more often it's fun

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earl-greys · 3 years

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anyhow I guess all I want to say is that the person who runs this blog as far as im aware right now may as well not exist anymore - if you follow this blog youre aware its run by a plural system. wll that system still exists but pretty much every alter who ran this blog is dormant (and given that they werent really... healthy at all, i would rather they stay that way). ive kept it up because frankly, i dont remember running it and it serves as a reminder to myself what actually happened during a period of my life that’s almost completely slipped my mind, other than the pictures that i took during that period of my life.

a friend the other day mentioned that they thought they dissociated thru a period of their own life because their memory was “just pictures” and it occured to me that i didnt know what else a memory was supposed to be - every time a memory is vivid to me it shakes me. ive grown comfortable with that distance but it scares me that thats not how youre supposed to recollect things.

theres a part of me that wants to reach out to some of you to catch up but it’s been five years and im sure we’ve all changed since then. i know i have. i dont recognize th person i was when i ran this blog... no, really, i dont remember going by the name “tey” but clearly a lot of my friends knew me by that name and called me it. i rediscovered that revisiting this blog a few weeks ago and it really shook me. i actually messaged a friend to ask if they remembered me ever going by that name, and they couldnt either, so clearly my social circles over time have shifted haha.

theres also that all of you who knew me here arguably knew me when i was at my worst, i was going through a lot in my life tht i couldnt really deal with and i hardly remember how i dealt with it other than “badly” - and i wouldnt be surprised if because of that you dont want to reach out to me anymore. i would understand. the coping mechanisms i developed when i was a teenager didnt really work and i think reading about plurality just caused me to get more neurotic abt the fact that i was traumatized. i definitely was traumatized but being told from everywhere i looked “your entire sense of self is a trauma symptom” didnt help me. i eventually got out of that mindset by finding things in life that i was willing to live and work for outside of like, plurality.

so im ok now but looking back on high school it genuinely scares me to see the kinds of things that i was going through, and also what i was very public and open about... a few of you knew me in the real world and i just have to say - im so thankful to you that you dealt with me.

dont know what else to say...

i reread “essay on the appearance of ghosts” by cameron awkward-rich tonight and its a poem tht really resonates with me and how i relate to my gender and my past self - i feel alot of the time like my memories are closer to ghost stories than memories, like mantras that i repeat to myself and i know happened to me but when i try to close in on them and find out wht happened, suddenly its gone and i realize i have only the words and a few vague images. “when does the girl learn there is something wrong growing in her place? when she ... looks in the mirror and sees herself in parts?” “what is writing but the preservation of ghosts?” you should read it in its entirety if you ever get the chance.

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ankewehner · 3 years

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Livetweet of accidentally getting into fairyland...

Best twitter thread ever?

https://twitter.com/NeolithicSheep/status/1330548523721515013 Shepherd: Oh hey Ursula, do you have the number for those people who take out invasive plants still?

Ursula: Probably somewhere, yeah. They said they didn’t usually work on such small properties, though, and I don’t know if I’ve got an infestation worth their time.

Shepherd: Ok but what if I say "kudzu" to you, can we throw enough money at them to make it worth their time.

Ursula: If you say “kudzu” to me, I will panic, scream, and come running to Dogskull with a flamethrower.

Shepherd: Ok well I suggest driving but maybe pack up the flamethrower. Ursula: OH MY GOD YOU FOUND KUDZU OH GOD WHERE IS IT ARE YOU SURE IT ISN’T JUST WILD GRAPE

Shepherd: YES I KNOW WHAT WILD GRAPE LOOKS LIKE THANK YOU anyway I was walking Beamer this morning after the deer ate breakfast and the white deer was walking down toward the back of the property, you know that low tucked away part? And I thought, well, we'll just trail after her at a polite distance and if I'm lucky I'll find some of her fur caught on a bush! Wouldn't that be great! So we kept going past the big ass fucking oak trees that make, like, that weird arch? And there's kudzu.

Ursula: What big oak trees?! There’s no big oak trees back there! It’s all pine!

Shepherd: Yeah you know, the two really big motherfuckers that look like English oak. They're like, way the fuck back there.

Ursula: There are no English oak on Dogskull. Are you sure you weren’t trespassing on the Freemason’s property?

Shepherd: No they're closer to the front I think? Who's next door to them? Also I thought Dog Skull was 7 acres? Because I should be off it and hitting the road by now.

Ursula: Next door to them is the people with the trailer on its side. Do you see any trailers lying on their sides?

Shepherd: A lot of oak trees, a little bit of kudzu, zero trailers in any orientation. Some birds and squirrels. Oh hey Beamer found a nice pond.

Ursula: Okay, this is important. Do the oak trees still have leaves on them?

Shepherd: Yeah but so does the one up front. Oh wait. These are, uh, still green. Like summer green.

Ursula: Right. Okay. This could be a problem. Give me a couple minutes, we have to take trash to the dump and then I’ll look some stuff up. Meanwhile, DON’T EAT ANYTHING.

Shepherd: You mean in case it's poisonous, right? Like THEORETICALLY if I didn't see this tweet until just now and HYPOTHETICALLY I found an apple tree and ate an apple, that would be fine?

Ursula: ...that would not be fine.

Shepherd: Beamer didn't want any, which was weird I thought.

Ursula: INDUCE VOMITING! INDUCE VOMITING!

Shepherd: He didn't eat anything! I'm not going to gag my dog for not eating an apple!

Ursula: Not the dog! Induce vomiting in yourself! Every chunk of that apple needs to come out before you digest it!

Shepherd: FINE. I have puked it up. It was a really good apple, too.

Ursula: Oh thank god. Whew. Okay. The alternative was that you were gonna need a cold iron enema and I wasn’t sure how to do that on short notice.

Shepherd: Oh hey fun fact, "cold iron" is just, like, iron. It's not a special kind or anything!

Ursula: Do you have any on you right now? Beamer’s collar or tags or anything?

Shepherd: Collar hardware is all aluminum these days, otherwise it rusts. Let me pat down my pockets. Syringe of dewormer? Is that helpful?

Shepherd: Anyway I don't want to alarm you but uh. I can't find the trail I followed? So you and Kevin will need to go over tonight and give the boys [i.e. oxen] a hay bale and the goats and sheep two.

Ursula: No! I am scared of cows! We have to get you out of there! Look, I have a bunch of Llewelyn books from my teenage pagan days. I’m sure Scott Cunningham or Silver Ravenwolf covered this somewhere.

Shepherd: Scott Cunningham seems like a really drastic measure just because you're afraid of some cows. But sooner or later I'm going to run out of cigarettes so sure, why not. Oh!! The boys' bow pins are in my pocket, I was going to sand them today and oil them! They're very definitely iron!

Ursula: That’s good! That’s very good! If anyone tries to talk to you, keep hold of those! Now let’s see...do you consider yourself a “solitary practitioner?”

Shepherd: Ursula I'm an ornamental hermit, you don't get much more solitary. Also so far the only person who tried to talk to me was a frog.

Ursula: ...what did the frog say?

Shepherd: "SMOKING KILLS." I tossed it back in the pond.

Ursula: *rubs forehead*

Shepherd: Fucking frogs are all alike, I'm telling you.

Ursula: I really wish these authors had spent less time on “why Wicca isn’t Satanism” and more time on “what to do when you’ve strayed into the fae realms.” I mean, I understand it was the political climate of the time...

Shepherd: I feel like nobody really covers that last one anymore. You have 4 hours until the cows want dinner.

Ursula: Silver Ravenwolf suggests making your magical working space more inviting with stencils? These books spend a surprising amount of time on interior decorating as a vital part of ritual magick. I never noticed that when I was fifteen.

Shepherd: Yeah me neither honestly. It's remarkably unhelpful when you're stuck in faerie and your collie is getting bored. Shepherd: So you want me to... Build a magical working space and stencil it?

Ursula: I can’t actually see how that would help matters. Maybe I should check the Foxfire books instead.

Shepherd: I... Don't remember them having anything relevant, but I might be wrong?

Ursula: They have everything. Ooh, this one is about how to scald the bristles off a hog!

Shepherd: A) I already know how to do that and B) I do not have a hog, sufficient firewood, or a hog scrubbing brush here. FOCUS, URSULA. FOCUS.

Ursula: Sorry, the ADHD meds haven’t kicked in yet today...uh...let’s see...avoid whippoorwills, if you see any?

Shepherd: I do that already, otherwise they steal your toenails.

Ursula: If you harvest apples, leave one on the tree or it attracts the Devil.

Shepherd: You told me not to eat the apples! Am I allowed to eat the apples now??

Ursula: No! These are hypothetical apples! NO EATING! I tried to look up deer in the Foxfire books and there’s a story about somebody’s grandpa wrestling a buck in a mill dam and drowning it, but I don’t see the relevance here. I mean, Grandpa does sound like a badass, though.

Shepherd: I feel like I shouldn't wrestle deer here. What if I try telling Beamer to find his sheep?

Ursula: Well, research has hit a small snag. I tried googling for the foxfire books and kudzu, in case there was something about fae kudzu portals, right? But it turns out your Twitter is the third hit. Shep, we may BE the experts.

Shepherd: Uh oh. OK. In that case, you and Kevin go over to Dog Skull. Hitch up Cole and Cannon and take them back to the oak trees. Put a logging chain around one and yell real loud "LET SHEPHERD OUT OR WE START PULLING"

Ursula: Oh hell no! I read tree law Reddit! I know how this ends! Do you want us to get sued by Freemasons?!

Shepherd: I DON'T THINK THE FREEMASONS ARE THE PROBLEM HERE, URSULA

Ursula: I DON’T TRUST THEM WITH THEIR LITTLE LEVELS AND SHEEPSKINS AND WEIRDLY OCULAR PYRAMIDS Also if you see a pyramid with an eye on it, don’t eat it’s either.

Ursula: Okay. Never mind the Freemasons. I wrote a book about this once, I think. White animals, scary fae, random magic deer. It was set in Finland, so you may need to fashion some umlauts, though.

Shepherd: I've got my chore knife, I can carve so many umlauts. Do I just put them in trees until I get back?

Ursula: First of all, are you wearing pants?

Shepherd: YES I'M WEARING PANTS YOU WEIRDO

Ursula: t’s a legitimate question! I mean, I’m not wearing pants.

Now Shep, this is very important. You have to take off your pants.

Also your shoes, your hoodie, and probably Beamer’s collar.

Shepherd: Ursula. Why are we getting naked.

Ursula: To break the misdirection spell! Put your clothes on backwards!

And possibly inside out? Shit, there’s a bunch of different sources. I don’t know if they have to be inside out, but definitely backwards.

Uh...let’s see...hmm, backwards definitely. Inside out might be for leshy. Leshies? Leshys? What’s the plural form, do you think?

If you happen to see any giggling green hairy dudes, ask them what the plural form of their name is. That’s gonna bug me.

Shepherd: Beamer's collar doesn't have a backwards! I'll turn it inside out. And my clothes backwards and inside out, got it.

Shepherd: There's just, like, frogs. And squirrels. I can hear music though! There might be a dance party, I could go ask about green hairy dudes?

Ursula: STAY AWAY FROM THE MUSIC unless it’s the Freemasons I guess

Shepherd: No it's more folk music. The Freemasons play, like, Michael Jackson.

ANYWAY clothes are backwards and inside out. Beamer's collar is backwards and just to be thorough I tied the rope end of his leash to his collar instead of using the clip, so his leash is backwards too. He's pulling me away from the pond!

Ursula: Tell him to go find his sheep!

Shepherd: I have so instructed him! Hopefully there's not, like, the faerie equivalent of really good sheep here. Hey do you want me to grab you an apple

Ursula: No, they don’t come true from seed, but if you can cut me a decent slightly whippy twig with a few leaves, I might be able to root that sucker.

Shepherd: ...you want me to pause a collie on a mission while I test the whippiness of twigs??

I HEAR MOOING. I SEE PINE TREES.

Ursula: GO TOWARD THE MOOING

Shepherd: THERE'S THE OLD RUSTED OUT METAL THING! I'm back! On uh the opposite side of the property from the one I left from.

Also there's a goddamned chorus frog calling.

Ursula: Yeah, they do that.

Ursula: THANK GOD THE KUDZU IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PORTAL

...oh, and you’re back, that’s good too. Very pleased.

Shepherd: Anyway you don't have to feed the boys. Unless you want to?

Ursula: There is no situation where I will WANT to feed your giant-ass death bovines.

Also, what have we learned about following the white doe into the woods?

Shepherd: She knows where the really good apples are?

Also my boys are tiny!!

Ursula: ...I’m gonna go take a nap.

#Ursula Vernon #NeolithicSheep #Faerie

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ootori-sibs · 3 years

Text

Summer camp host club 9

"I'm telling you!! It was the monster!!" Tamaki exclaimed, they were all sat with their bowls of pasta, just trying to eat dinner, but Tamaki was standing up, trying to tell them how he'd seen the monster.

Haruhi glanced up at him, rolling her eyes. "You mean you saw a large cat?"

"No!" The king whined, practically stomping his foot. "It was bigger then I am!" He gestures wildly, clearly trying to show the size of the 'monster'.

The twins are clearly ignoring him, just silently eating their food. Mostly done with his nonsense. Honey was listening to him talk, clearly enchanted by the picture of this giant fluffy black cat. Haruhi sighed, she'd had a long day and really didn't have any time for this…

Kyoya finally made his way to the area, his hair a mess and his glasses cracked, it was clear he'd just woken up from a nap. He sat down and looked up at Tamaki. "What are you blabbering on about now?"

"I saw the monster, Kyoya! It was sleeping in the bushes!" Tamaki seemed to be very adamant that that was in fact what he saw, not all too willing to listen to reason. Haruhi noticed how Kyoya's eyes widened slightly, did he believe him?

"That…" The shadow king adjusted his glasses, hopefully preparing to be the voice of reason. "That's utterly ridiculous Tamaki, if the monster was real, why would it rest where it could be found so easily?" His tone was sharp but it was vague, like he wasn't speaking to Tamaki, the question didn't even sound entirely rhetorical… but then he chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "You were probably asleep yourself."

Haruhi had never considered Kyoya anything other than the voice of reason, the one who believed in logic above all else… but she sensed fear in his voice when he spoke of the monster. Forcing her to face the fact that maybe Kyoya also believes in the monster, maybe he's scared of it. If Tamaki's scared, then Kyoya must force himself to not believe in the terror, although it was becoming clearer and clearer to Haruhi that he took the king's words as gospel. If both monarchs were scared, that doesn't bode well for the rest of the club… it also made Haruhi feel a little different about how Kyoya behaved with Shin when the story was being told… how much of that wasn't an act?

She headed straight to bed after dinner, not wanting to deal with all this nonsense today. She was tired anyway. She'd just finished getting into her pajamas when there was a gentle knock on the cabin door. She went to answer, surprised to see Mori stood there. "Mori?"

"Come." He reaches out, offering her his hand. She tilts her head, curious. Mori had always been an enigma to her, never knowing how he was feeling or what he could be thinking. But he was a comforting presence, and nothing like the headache the rest of the club was. She took his hand, smiling softly up at him, letting him pull her along.

He led her away from the camp, towards the maze. It was dark and he didn't have a torch, neither of them dude. Haruhi was just trusting his knowledge of where they were going, she had no clue. She didn't think twice about putting her trust in him.

They went past the bench however, she hadn't been expecting that, and soon realised she'd never been this far from the camp the entire summer- unless of course you counted the hospital visit. They were walking around the outside of the maze, it was rather large, she found. Eventually they came to a part that seemed too far from the camp to be safe, and Mori let go of her hand.

Haruhi looked up at him, suddenly feeling rather nervous to be out so late. "Are you sure it's safe to be out so far..?" She couldn't believe she was actually scared, she didn't believe in some dumb monster! But… there could be people out here… real people.

Mori just gave a little smile down at her, crouching down to pull back some bushes that already seemed to have grown apart. He gestured through, "go." Haruhi nodded and silently crawled through the hole, finding herself in part of the maze. She understood she wasn't supposed to be in here, but it was such a nice area.

The dirt was worn down in a large circle, there's a worn out old purple blanket crumpled in the corner, making Haruhi wonder who's it was… The bushes were rather pretty, a lovely shade of green. She moved aside to let Mori climb through, they sat opposite each other, legs crossed. Mori took out his phone, switching it on to some soft violin music and an image of a fire, setting it down between them. "Music, Mitsukuni helped pick it out." Haruhi looked at him, then glanced down at the phone, catching a glimpse at the name; lovers moon. She felt her cheeks heat up, looking at Mori in surprise.

"Mori? Senpa-"

"No. I'm not your senpai anymore, Mitsukuni told you."

"Mori…" She sighed softly, the word leaving her lips like a breath. For once, she was the quiet one as he took her cheek in his hand.

"If you want to, you can call me by my name." He smiles a little more, with every second he gained more confidence.

Haruhi sighed once again, her cheeks as red as they could get. "Of course… Takashi…" A name had never felt so precious before, so private. Haruhi felt like she'd been entrusted with a great honour, like her status had risen… in a way it had. She smiled up at him, seeing his own cheeks having gone a light pink.

His hand moved slowly, still cupping her cheek. Haruhi realised what he was trying to do and leant forward willingly, silently giving him permission. But just as they got close enough to feel each other's breath against their lips, a noise was heard, pulling them both out of the moment.

They looked to their side, seeing something Haruhi couldn't pretend was make believe anymore. Huge, with fluffy black fur and ears perked up above it's head, sharp eyes and sharper teeth. It was the beast described, stood staring at them, it's body language spoke of surprise and shock, but all Haruhi could sense was danger. She didn't know what to do, she felt herself frozen in terror, she thought it wasn't real, she thought it wasn't real. She was shaking as she was stared down by the eyes of the beast, it didn't move to kill or even hurt, it seemed just as surprised to see them as she was surprised to see it.

Takashi grabbed her wrist, pulling her back through the hole before picking her up and running full speed towards the camp. Haruhi glanced back to see if she could see the beast but… she couldn't, it simply wasn't chasing them. She tapped Takashi on the shoulder gently, getting him to stop. "We aren't being chased…"

He paused, frowning. "We should still alert them." He continues heading to the camp, just slower now. He doesn't put her down, still clutching her protectively, Haruhi stares up at him, appreciating how he shows his love.

They reached the camp, Tamaki had moved on to telling the councilors about what he saw, Haruhi felt bad for doubting him now…

"I'm telling you! It was sleeping there, just taking an afternoon nap!" He exclaimed, for some reason Mr Hirano was the one who didn't believe him, Tamaki didn't understand how the one who told the story didn't really believe in the monster. Mr Tonnerre, his fellow frenchman, did believe him however, and was solemnly nodding along to the story he told.

"Senpai!" Haruhi's voice rang in her ears, sounding scared… Tamaki's head whipped around to see her, she was being held by Mori, who put her down gently, and allowed her to run towards him. "Senpai you were right! The monster's real!"

There was a gasp echoing from the hosts, and most of the campers who had gotten to know the commoner- if Haruhi believed in something like that, it must be real. Tamaki put his hands on Haruhi's shoulders and stared down at her in concern. "What happened? Are you hurt?" He began to look her over, searching for any injuries.

"I'm fine senpai, I was in the forest and the monster found us." Tamaki didn't have time to question the plural part, assuming she meant Mori had come to her rescue.

Mr Tonnerre interrupted. "Did you lead it here? Was it chasing?" His hand slipped into his coat pocket, eyes full of worry, but Haruhi shook her head.

"No, no it didn't follow us, it didn't even attack. It just stood there, staring at us…" she paused, eyes going wide, "I think we found where it sleeps."

"Was there a blanket?" Tamaki asked, remember what he had found that same afternoon. "A p-"

"Purple blanket," Haruhi finished for him, "yes, yes there was." Tamaki gasped, looking at Mr Tonnerre in excitement, knowing what they'd both found and waiting for the adult to come to a decision.

As he's waiting for the man's words, his eyes wander over to the boys cabin, by the edge of the trees, Kyoya stands in the doorway, watching like he always does. His eyes hidden by a light that is always there when he needs it.

Tamaki's attention is taken by a gunshot, Mr Tonnerre stands, his gun pointed to the sky, a look of determination on his face. "TOMORROW WE SHALL PREPARE, THE NIGHT AFTER TOMORROW SHALL BE THE NIGHT THE MURDERS CEASE!" He calls out to the camp, his wording shaking every camper to their core and making their nerves fizz. "WE'RE GOING MONSTER HUNTING KIDS!" Tamaki looks around at all the campers cheering and hollering, either genuinely excited, or believing this to be part of the experience. He glanced to the cabin, seeing Kyoya has already ducked inside.

Something made Tamaki feel entirely uneasy, was there something he was missing? He was rich, hunting was in his blood wasn't it? So why did the sudden announcement of the monster's execution feel so wrong..?

He headed inside the cabin whilst everyone else spoke of the hunt. At first glance the cabin appeared to be empty, but Tamaki knew better, he began to walk through the cabin, looking for Kyoya. He almost didn't see him, Kyoya was sitting between beds, his knees tucked under his chin, texting on his phone. Tamaki frowned. "Are you ok Kyoya?" He hoped Kyoya wasn't scared…

Kyoya looks up at him. "Oh, I just, I'm just not a fan of… gunshots." He glances away, not meeting Tamaki's eyes. Tamaki knows for a fact that they've watched movies with gunshots in before, Kyoya isn't scared of that. Though he can hazard a guess at what Kyoya is scared of, it's really one of two options; the mob mentality demonstrated by the campers, or the monster itself.

Tamaki sat next to him, wrapping a gentle arm around him. "It's ok Kyoya, you don't have to come if you don't want to. I'll even stay with you if you'd like me to." He watched Kyoya carefully, noticing how Kyoya's cheeks go slightly pink… huh, that's odd.

"It's ok… I'll just stick with Shin, you can go with the others." Kyoya offers a soft, but clearly fake, smile. Tamaki's heart panged at the mention of his rival, where was Shin while Kyoya was sitting here? Out there, likely cheering on the cacophony of gunshots Kyoya didn't want. Tamaki frowned, pulling Kyoya closer.

"You don't have to worry, I don't want to hunt, I wouldn't want to hurt the creature. It hasn't done anything wrong yet, only slept." He was almost shocked to notice how Kyoya's eyes seemed to sparkle as Tamaki spoke, staring at him in… what was that? Tamaki couldn't exactly read this emotion, it almost seemed like awe… In fact Kyoya was leaning into the touch, this was new, this was interesting.

"But weren't you the one that suggested it?" Kyoya's questions surprised Tamaki, he hadn't expected this. "I saw you talking with… Tonnerre." Ah, that name still brought shivers down his spine, and evidently to Kyoya's own.

"Oh no, I was just telling him that I'd seen it, then Haruhi came over and said she'd seen it too…"

"She's dating Mori." Kyoya spoke bluntly. Tamaki felt shocked, surprised even, but what he didn't feel was… sad. He really had moved on huh… he only really felt those sorts of emotions about Kyoya lately.

"That's good." Tamaki spoke honestly, glad his friends had found each other. "He's an honest man, and he deserves someone like Haruhi." He looked at Kyoya with a smile, surprised to see the utter shock on his face, eyes wide, but smiling.

"She was right…" Kyoya uttered softly, gazing into Tamaki's eyes, Tamaki had no idea what he was talking about but his expression was so cute…

"Pardon?" He might as well ask exactly what prompted such an adorable face from mommy dearest, curiously enough his question prompted Kyoya to go a light shade of pink.

"Haruhi had told me you'd moved on from her, I didn't exactly believe her." Oh? They talk about him? That's a nice thought, Tamaki smiles softly.

"Yeah," he started, his heart hammering his chest, "someone else has my heart these days."

"Oh?" Kyoya barely spoke one word, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, somehow the most emotional Tamaki had ever seen him, somehow more powerful than when he screamed.

Tamaki didn't respond, he did something he probably shouldn't have

He kissed Kyoya. On the lips.

#ohshc #kyotama #kyoya ootori #hikaru and kaoru #kaoru hitachiin #hikaru hitachiin #haruhi fujioka #takashi morinozuka #mitsukuni haninozuka #tamaki suoh

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ghostofbambifanfiction · 4 years

Note

For the texting prompts, “challenge”

Beatrice Booth: Two hours and counting!

Lily Evans: Yeah, I’M AWARE, thank you.

Beatrice Booth: Just reminding you bb pip pip!

Lily Evans: Could you PLEASEJUST

Beatrice Booth: It’s for your own good

Lily Evans: You are asking me to make a major life change and instead of love and support I’m getting “pip pip!” and “two hours and counting!”

Beatrice Booth: LOL major life change ok ms drama

Lily Evans: I’m sorry, but in what universe does this NOT change things?

Beatrice Booth: You’re acting like things are going to change in a bad way

Lily Evans: They might.

Beatrice Booth: They won’t

Lily Evans: They MIGHT.

Beatrice Booth: OMG just get on with it ffs I’m growing a beard here waiting.

Lily Evans: I. Am. Doing. It. Now. Go. Away.

Beatrice Booth: LOL send screenshotsDo you have a plan?

Lily Evans: Sort of.

Beatrice Booth: What is it?

Lily Evans: How am I even supposed to START and also who TEXTS someone to tell them how they feel about them in the first place that’s so impersonal and I HATE you, honestly????

James Potter: what?

Lily Evans: Oh, shit.I’m sorry, I typed this in the wrong conversation.It’s meant to be for Beatrice.

James Potter: that’s okay

Lily Evans: I’ll have to get back to you on how I somehow mistook your Whatsapp pic for hers.

James Potter: i don’t know what you’re talking about, beatrice looks exactly like a huge ginger cat wearing a male stripper’s bow tie

Lily Evans: What distinguishes it as a stripper’s bow tie and not just a bow tie?Is there a specific website where strippers buy their apparel?

James Potter: yeah it’s where i buy all of my tearaway trousersit’s a stripper’s bow tie because algernon is otherwise naked, obviously

Lily Evans: Obviously.So…can any piece of clothing can be stripper clothing if it’s the only thing you’re wearing?Which by default means you can wear stripper clothes when you’re not stripping?

James Potter: anything but crocs

Lily Evans: That’s fair.A naked person in crocs already has more problems than I’m ever likely to face in my lifetime.

James Potter: yeah but they’re getting terrific arch support

Lily Evans: What about shower caps?

James Potter: ANYTHING but crocs

Lily Evans: So you’d rather be in a strip club where the strippers were wearing a shower cap than one where the strippers wore crocs?

James Potter: i’d rather not be in any strip club, they’re depressing and full of creepslike whyeveryone knows why you’re therethe women don’t like youif you’re gonna be a sad pervert have the decency to keep that between you and your google search history

Lily Evans: What’s the last thing on your Google search history?

James Potter: “world’s largest lego store?”what’s yours?

Lily Evans: “How to tell the boy you like that you like him because your stupid best friend beat you in a year-long contest and forced you to do it as a forfeit?”Subheading: “She SAYS this is her idea of lockdown self-improvement but that’s bullshit, she’s just thirsty for drama”

James Potter: ahrightokay coolfirst text makes sense then hahawait, YEAR long????

Lily Evans: Yeah, look, it had a lot of different components and a whole escalating points system and it’s a whole thing, whatever, I’m never doing it again.Her victories were total flukes.Like, wow, you guessed the Eurovision winner, well done.I’m also pretty sure she was cheating with the steps counter but I don’t even want to get into that, honestly.

James Potter: mum gave me and sirius fitbits so she could make sure we took 10000 a day and sirius tricked her by putting his on his right wrist when he was wanking

Lily Evans: It’s weird that you know that.

James Potter: it’s weird that you don’t, he tells everyonedid you find anything?

Lily Evans: Where?

James Potter: in your google search?

Lily Evans: I found “100 Inspiring Quotes That Will Increase Your Confidence,” so no.

James Potter: inspiring quotes are like placebos except at no point do they have you fooledyou know they’re not gonna work

Lily Evans: Yeah, like it’s nice that some guy named Norman Vincent Peale wants me to believe in myself but that doesn’t suddenly mean that I do.

James Potter: you should believe in yourself, you’re brilliantbut you should also narrow your search parameters because that situation is way too specific

Lily Evans: I do believe in myself. Mostly.But like, not only do I have to tell this person that I have a crush on him, I have to do it to a bloody deadline.Nothing really prepares you for that, you can’t take romantic entanglements for your A Level.And apparently Google’s unfamiliar with the concept, so.

James Potter: it’s not remus, is it?tell me it’s not remus

Lily Evans: What?

James Potter: the person you fancy?i mean, not that i have any personal investment in the issue i just know he likes beatrice and wouldn’t want you to get hurt and that’s the tea

Lily Evans: ????????What makes you think it’s Remus?

James Potter: i dunno he justhe seems like the kind of person you’d like

Lily Evans: Me specifically?

James Potter: yeah

Lily Evans: Because?

James Potter: because he’s academic in a good way

Lily Evans: There’s a bad way to be academic?

James Potter: course there isremus is academic in the way that tries, not the way that fucks around and gets good marks by coasting on natural brilliance, which according to my mum can cultivate laziness and that’s why my chore list is so extensivehe’s funny in a dry wayhe’s not a dramatic idiothis hair is tidyhe probably understands mortgages

Lily Evans: You’re describing a male me and I don’t know why you think I’d want to date that.Also, I’m seventeen.Why would I need to understand mortgages?

James Potter: i hear it’s good to get on the property ladder early

Lily Evans: Do you WANT me to be into Remus?

James Potter: there’s no good answer to that question

Lily Evans: Because I’m not into Remus.You have a really skewed idea of what my type is.

James Potter: are you sure?

Lily Evans: Yeah, no, I’m pretty sure I haven’t mistaken him for the totally DIFFERENT person I fancy.

James Potter: i think he has an everyman quality that people find quite charmingit’s possible that you could have

Lily Potter: He’s not a Ditto, James. He can’t transform at will.

James Potter: though thinking about itwould be a bit weird if beatrice was pushing you to tell remus you liked himshe’s mentioned liking remus once or twice

Lily Evans: Once or twice a minute.I can’t believe you thought that “academic” and “understands mortgages” were my major qualifiers.Like, honestly it’s a bit offensive that you think I’m that stodgy.

James Potter: no it isn’t and i never said stodgyit was a commentary on how mature you are!and how you have sensible priorities!

Lily Evans: You say “mature” but you mean “stodgy.”

James Potter: that is not what i mean

Lily Evans: BRB digging out one of my nan’s cardigans and buying some thermal underwear and maybe taking up bridge as a hobby.Maybe I can book a spot on one of those OAP singles cruises and meet someone at a shuffleboard tournament?If I’m lucky he’ll have a full pension.

James Potter: i feel like i should inform you that plenty of old people are out there living wild livesi mean, not right now because of lockdown, but

Lily Evans: But apparently I’m not.

James Potter: what’s wrong with liking those things about a person??i like those things about youand about peopleplural

Lily Evans: NOTHING but they shouldn’t be THE thing.Like, it’s so mercenary. You’re saying I’d only want to date someone because they stand a good chance of making it in a decent career and being a good provider and not because they’re sweet or kind or funny.

James Potter: firstly, i mentioned that remus is funny and secondly that’s not what i meanti meant that you would want to date someone who was your intellectual equal so you would never feel that you weren’t smart enough for them or that they weren’t smart enough to stay on your level

Lily Evans: And that translates to “academic in a good way” how?

James Potter: okay what i just said was a) true and b) a straight up compliment and you’re just blowing right past it

Lily Evans: Maybe I am, but that still doesn’t explain how it translates.Like, since I’m assuming that you, THE smartest person I know, think you’re academic in a bad way, does that mean you think YOU’RE not on my level?Is that a conversation we need to have now?

James Potter: my middle name is oddjob

Lily Evans: Wait what??

James Potter: you’ve mistaken my compliment for an insult and you’re mad at me so i’m trying to distract youand just so you knowthis is my deepest darkest secretonly sirius and my parents know my middle name

Lily Evans: Wait, Oddjob like the Bond villain??????

James Potter: you are part of an elite group of people i’d trust with my life so please appreciate thatyes like the bond villain

Lily Evans: Were you a particularly complicated birth or something?Were your parents punishing you somehow?

James Potter: complicated pregnancymum was on bedrest for weeksshe was so bored that she watched all of the bond movies because they were the only films dad kept in the house and streaming wasn’t a thing back then, and that’s the story of why my name is james instead of sebastian

Lily Evans: James Oddjob.

James Potter: james oddjob

Lily Evans: They were going to call you Sebastian?

James Potter: mum’s choiceshe thought it was debonair and rakish

Lily Evans: I’m…really disproportionately thrilled that they didn’t go with Sebastian.

James Potter: because i’m not rakish or debonair enough?

Lily Evans: No, because you’re such a James.

James Potter: what qualifies a person to be “such a james?”

Lily Evans: I dunno.It’s just you, isn’t it? Your personality. You’re a James.

James Potter: there are loads of other people with that name, you know

Lily Evans: Yeah, and every time I speak to one I’m like, who is this clown and why is he using a name that doesn’t belong to him?

James Potter: lol

Lily Evans: #NotMyJames

James Potter: oh, so i’m YOUR james now?

Lily Evans: You know what I mean.

James Potter: no i don’t, please explain yourselfdid you call dibs?sirius will be pissed

Lily Evans: Do you want me to get mad at you again?

James Potter: were you ever really mad to begin with?

Lily Evans: SIGH. No.

James Potter: can’t believe you typed out a sigh

Lily Evans: I’m just stressed.I have…just over an hour? To tell this guy I like him.And Beatrice is demanding screenshots as proof.

James Potter: why is she even making you do this?

Lily Evans: She says that he likes me too and we’re just wasting time that could otherwise be spent swiping our v-cards in a slow march towards death, and that in the event that he doesn’t, we won’t be able to see each other for weeks anyway so I can avoid any awkward encounters.It’s a compelling argument, must admit.Assuming he hasn’t already…swiped?I haven’t swiped.Have you swiped?I’m talking about sex, by the way.

James Potter: yeah, i got that i’m not twelveno i have not swipedbut you want to?with this person who also likes you and would therefore also want to?

Lily Evans: Only according to Beatrice. He probably doesn’t.And I mean, not immediately. Not like, right now. But eventually, yeah.

James Potter: brb my mum’s calling me from downstairs

James Potter: pls come home from supermarket mum D: D: D: D:

Euphemia Potter: What’s wrong darling?

James Potter: i am dying

Euphemia Potter: What?

James Potter: i am in severe pain

Euphemia Potter: Where is the pain?

James Potter: in my emotions

Euphemia Potter: For goodness’ sake, James!Sending me a message like that during an international crisis!I thought you were seriously ill!

James Potter: heartbreak IS a serious afflictioni’ve just found out that lily has a crush on someone!!!??? and i am?? dying????

Euphemia Potter: Who does she have a crush on?

James Potter: i don’t know, she hasn’t said his name

Euphemia Potter: You tortoise, she obviously has a crush on you.

James Potter: you are biased in my favour because you are the woman who birthed me

Euphemia: Right now I am anything but biased in your favour.As punishment for subjecting your mother to needless worry, you can give the oven a good cleaning before I get home.That will cure you of your “affliction.”And remember to charge Diablo.

James Potter: you show that roomba more respect than you’ve ever shown me!

Euphemia Potter: Well at least the Roomba is useful.

James Potter: OUCH

James Potter: backturns out my mum just needed to insult me deeply

Lily Evans: Hey.

James Potter: still stressed out?

Lily Evans: Unbelievably.

James Potter: you know you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, yeah?

Lily Evans: No, I do.I promised her I’d do it.And I want to tell him.Sort of.I do sometimes think he might like me back.He says things sometimes, you know? And he looks at me in a certain way and I just, idk.It’s just, how do I even broach that in a text message?

James Potter: i have no idea

Lily Evans: Like, just come out and say it?

James Potter: honestly evans, don’t think i’m the right person to asklike, reallynot the right personreally really REALLY not the person to ask about this

Lily Evans: But you must have an opinion?

James Potter: i have no opinions on anything everexcept crocs on strippers but disregard thatyou know what you should do? ask remushe’s wise like a wolf

Lily Evans: Since when are wolves known for their wisdom?

James Potter: owls thenhe could probably make helpful suggestions

Lily Evans: I like you.

James Potter: yeah, go with that, whatever works

Lily Evans: James

James Potter: what?

Lily Evans: I literally just…my GOD, Potter.

James Potter: what?

Lily Evans: Nothing.

James Potter: what????

Lily Evans: Nothing, honestly, it’s fine.I’ll tell you to your face when I next see you.

James Potter: tell me what?tell me what????wait nolilydo youwas that about me?tell me what?????lilylilyLILYTELL ME WHAT?

#I kind of hate this but I had to stop #otherwise it just becomes a oneshot with no end

134 notes · View notes

gritt3y · 3 years

Text

ok uhhh kinda important announcement? sorry it’s so so sudden but i wanted to disclose this before i got on with the rest of my day since it’s been giving me immense discomfort to be hiding it for so long and just ahwhw i wanted to make this clear before i start to become alive again and active and such so ahwhwh

this is not at all a danger thing or something gone wrong in the household but ahwhwh i wanted to let y’all know anyways cuz i think it’s pretty important, at least to me, and it’s a really important thing for my identity right now

oh god i’m so nervous ahwhwhw why are you so nervous grit whyyyy ahwhwh

i, think, i’m, a median system? a system that has its headmates kinda have one ultimate identity but not at the same time?

i thought for sure i was a singlet back when i joined tumblr and became active and such and i was vv confident that i wasn’t plural, but now i just feel

weird ahwhwh

recently i’ve just been feeling these, odd feelings? feelings like i never was truly alone? it’s just, so weird for me i can barely type rn i’m so scared hah ahwhwhw but like

in the beginning i thought for sure i was just one person

those who know me well know how i typed long ago, and that truly used to be my typing style for a while

but over time i felt this new “state” or state of being? it’s just, bruhhhh ahwhhww i feel so weird rn i’m ahwhwhw so nervous ahhh ahwhwhw

but like,

i first thought it was just a new typing style or whatever but i slowly came to realize it was something more than that

this “state of being” had their own desires, wishes, views on the world, even gender pronouns and it was like

wow, i never realized it ahwhw

i kinda realize how plural systems feel when they discover they’re plural and it’s just

wild honestly wow ahwhwhw

now by no means am i claiming i know how they feel, as my headmates are not as distinct as others, but they feel just distinct enough, if that makes sense

it’s just,

crazy honestly i’m ahwhwhw

so as time passed this headmate began to become the dominant one and the other state of being began to go dormant for a long time, months even

and i tried to act it off for the longest time that they were “just another typing style” or “just a side of me” but like

it’s so weird man i, never got those types of experiences before it’s insane ahwhwhw

but like,

time passed and the feelings just grew more and more

these “states of being” each had their own desires and views

i’ll go more in-depth about what those are maybe in a future post when i’m more relaxed but just

ahwhhw i’m so scared rn it’s crazyyyy ahwhwhw

but actually just, typing it out

i’m beginning to feel a lot better about myself

when i used all-encompassing pronouns like us or we it just felt, so natural

sometimes when i’m talking to myself to round my thoughts i automatically say we and it’s just, so new to me ahwhwh

so after time passed those states of being or headmates as we like to call them began to grow stronger and stronger in presence and just

man ahwhwhw it’s surreal

the realization and just, the comfort it’s bringing is crazy ahwhwh

so fast-forward to now and a new headmate came into existence recently, me, the one typing this currently ahwhwh

i think i came to existence around, 1 or 2 months ago? the system needed a sort of “auto-pilot” person to take care of the daily stuff that the others can’t really handle that well (school, chores, dealing with rens, etc etc ahwhw)

so yeah ahwhw

you might notice i type less animated than some of our other headmates (no capitalizing no emojis etc ahwhw) and i might come across as harsh or cold, but dw ahwhw i see myself to be friendly, as long as you don’t anger me or my friends we good ahwhwh

also just a quick disclaimer that while we all identify in a way as grit, we are distinct from one another and have our own names

for example my name is none, literally ahwhw i know that’s really odd but i’m comfy with it so ahwhw

feral (again literally ahwhw) is our headmate who’s very hyper, uses emojis, etc etc ahwhw

we tend to co-con (co-conscious) frequently, which is why i’m never really seen and can’t be noticed most of the time ahwhwh

finally theres wholesome (again, literally ahwhw) who’s vv sweet, the sweetest we both met personally and just, ahwhwhw they’re a bean tbh ahwhwh

they probably dissociate the least when they’re out, they’re very stable and just, overall very very wholesome literally ahwhw

i probably dissociate the most, as feral wants to come out frequently or co-con and it’s just ahwhw a mess tbh ahwhw

honestly most of the times feral edits a lot of the posts i make to kinda hide our identity as a system and kinda go off as a singlet identity but just

it honestly made me really uncomfortable, like i was fine with it in the beginning, we all were, but over time we just became so uncomfy as we knew we weren’t exactly a singlet but not exactly a very distinct system either and just ahwhw being in the between felt odd, really odd ahwhwh

but now we spilled and we’re rlly rlly happy now and just

ahwhw

i’m honestly really scared how all of y’all will react and just

god ahwh

so tldr

we are grit, as whole, we all identify as grit

but we also don’t

we’re a median system ahwhwh

so for the sake of this blog in particular i think we want to pursue single pronouns for now, as i know it’s a bit odd with the whole we and us pronouns ahwhwh

but they do make us happy ahwhw so if y’all use we or us on us we love it keep doing it ahwhwh

but yeah!

just for the record, i use he/him and they/them pronouns, feral uses they/them, and wholesome uses she/her and most often they/them pronouns

we actually sort of? prefer if y’all just call us by our singular identity, grit, but i in particular really like being called by my headmate name, none so if y’all notice me when i’m typing or such uhhh hello yellow ahwhwh

but yeah that’s all! feral and wholesome might put some notes or reblogs under this post whenever they want to and uhhh yeah!

oh also i want to let y’all know that yes, we do have a good idea of what each headmate did and stuff like that, so if y’all asked feral and wholesome they can recount exactly what i’m doing and yeah ahwhw we all in here ahwhw

anyways uhh that’s it!

if y’all have any questions shoot, and just uhhh

yeah we still super scared ahwhw

but ye! soon the weekend is coming and feral can respond to y’all texts y’all have been waiting a long time and just, ye!

sorry i should end this

okay ending it ahwhw

#announcement #not art #scary #that is all ahwhw

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vgckwb · 3 years

Text

P5R: Rebel Girl (A FeMC Story/P5R Rework) Chapter 51: A Nudge in The Right Direction

After breakfast, Ren decided to head over to the medical office of Dr. Takemi. Once she arrived, she said “Hey doc.”

Takemi looked up. “Oh ho, it’s been a while. I was beginning to think you were afraid of me.

“Nah, I know you don’t bite,” Ren said. “I’ve just been kind of busy.”

“Well, you seem productive,” Takemi said. “But actually your break was productive for me as well. I had some time, so I began processing the results of our tests.”

“Really?” Ren said. “And how’s that going?”

“Hm,” Takemi laughed. “It’s going exceptionally well. I think with a few more tests, this thing could be fully functional.”

“Splendid,” Ren said.

“Excuse me?” a man said, walking up. With him was his wife and their child, a young girl who looked under the weather to say the least. “Is this a medical facility?”

“Um, yes…” Takemi said, surprised by this development.

“We need some help,” the man continued.

“Our daughter is sick, and the treatment we’ve been given isn’t working” the mother informed her.

“I see…” Takemi said.

“Can you help?” the father asked.

Takemi was silent. Ren could tell she wasn’t entirely sure of herself, so she did what any friend would do; hype them up. “Of course. Dr. Takemi doesn’t have this medical facility for nothing. She’s an expert.”

The parents and Takemi looked at Ren. The parents looked at Takemi. “You’re in charge here.”

Takemi looked back at them. “Yes,” she said. She caught up to the situation and gained her confidence back. “Let’s see what we’re dealing with. Come in.” Everyone started to move except Ren. Takemi noticed this. “You too.”

“Her?” the dad said, surprised.

“She’s my assistant,” Takemi informed him.

“Well, OK then,” the father said. Ren shrugged and walked in.

Takemi was doing a check up on the symptoms her parents described. “Hmmmm.”

“We’ve been trying the medicine for over a month, but it doesn’t seem to work.” the mother said. “When we tried explaining as such to our normal doctor, he just brushed us off.”

Takemi finished her check up. “I see. Well, either this guy is either pretty stupid, or has an ego the size of Tokyo.” She went to her desk to write out a prescription. “Does she have any allergies I should know about?” Her parents shook her head. Takemi finished filling it out. “Well then, here. Her symptoms lineup with a few different diseases, but there are subtle differences, and I feel like they just got it wrong. If this medicine doesn’t see an improvement in her condition in a week, come see me again.”

The father took it, looked up to her, and said “Thank you. How much do we owe you?”

“10,000 yen,” Takemi said.

“What?” the father said.

Ren tried to cool things down. “That’s a joke. She does that from time to time.”

“I mean, it’s fine, we’ll pay it…” the mother said.

Takemi looked at all of them. “Tell me, the facility you went to before, was the head doctor there a man by the name of Oyamada?”

“Um, yes” the father said.

Takemi smiled. “Then consider today on the house.” Everyone was shocked. “That one was not a joke.”

The girls’ parents were still stunned, but they nodded, and the father said “Thank you.” They left to go get the medicine. Takemi sighed a sigh of relief.

“So, how does it feel?” Ren asked, smiling all the while. “Being a doctor in situations like this?”

Takemi smied. “While I didn’t like getting jumped into it,” she gave Ren some side-eye, “I will say, it is a rather nice feeling. While I get patients here, nothing like that really happens all too much.”

She glanced off. “To be honest, I thought I’d lost my touch. I was worried about what would happen if I did something wrong. I guess I still am, but the difference is I took action once you pushed me. Besides, I’m certain I figured the problem out. Not to mention I got to stick it to Oyamada. That’s always good.” Ren seemed a bit confused, but didn't worry too much. “So, despite the manner in which you did so, thanks for supporting me. I mean, I did call you in there for a reason.”

Ren was a little worried she’d get more of a reprimand than that. She smiled and said “Thanks.”

“By the way, we still have your test to do,” Takemi said. “Are you ready?” Ren felt a little sheepish, but nodded, and they ran the test as usual. Once Ren woke up, Takemi noted “Faster than usual. That either means the medicine is improving, or you’ve changed dramatically recently.”

“Well, I've been in Tokyo for a full two months now,” Ren said, not missing a beat. “The city certainly changes people.”

Takemi got a laugh out of that. “I mean physically, but I do like hearing about that. I take it you’re doing well.”

Ren nodded. “And part of it is thanks to your medicine.”

“Hm. Well that’s good to hear” Takemi said.

“Speaking of…” Ren said. She took the time to buy some. She bought more than she usually would as a sort of apology for forcing Takemi’s hand earlier.

“Well thank you” Takemi said after the transaction. Ren nodded. She flashed a very genuine smile. “You know, it’s nice to have a friend like you.” Ren smiled back.

Death-Tae Takemi: Rank 4

Ren left for the evening.

As she was leaving, she got a message from Yoshida.

Yoshida: I’m having another speech tonight. Care to join me.

Ren smiled.

Ren: Sure.

She headed off to Station Square to meet up with Yoshida. Once she did, Yoshida greeted her. “Ah, Amamiya-chan. Might I say that was quite a spectacle on TV.” Rn groaned. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Ren said. “I’m just not used to that much attention.”

“I see,” Yoshida said. “Well, if you aim to be a politician, that can’t be avoided. People will always be watching you because you’re supposed to be a reflection of the people who elected you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Ren said.

“Well, it’s about time,” Yoshida said. “Shall we get going?” Ren nodded. “Oh, before we go, I do have a question.” Ren was curious. “I could avoid it, but I did write this speech based around the interview, and there’s even a part where I point you out. Would you like me to take it out?”

Ren looked at him and shook her head. “It’s fine. People are already talking about it, and I trust you more than most people to handle things well.”

“Why thank you” Yoshida said, smiling ear to ear. “Now let’s go.”

Ren picked up the card she would be holding. “‘Tonight’s Topic: What We Can Learn from Today’s Youth’.” Ren smiled, picked up the card, and headed over.

Yoshida took his place, Ren took hers, and a crowd started to gather. Ren noticed some people from last time she was here, but also noticed some new faces. “People of Tokyo!” Yoshida began. “As you may know, the Phantom Thieves struck again, this time at the heart of the art world. Of course I was surprised by this as well. But one thing the two incidents have in common is that both perpetrators have abused children.

Society goes on and on about how we should think of the children, but are we really thinking? Or are we pretending to think about them when really we’re thinking of ourselves? Recent data shows that only 12% of people throughout Japan believe and admire the Phantom Thieves, with the plurality of that being children and young adults.

Of course, generational divides exist, and of course, with age comes wisdom, but as adults, we cannot ignore everything these children say just because it doesn’t agree with our point of view. Children have opinions and ideas. To ignore them would be to discourage them from thinking at all. Why, just recently my assistant here debated another student about the Phantom Thieves.”

The crowd was more alert as they turned to Ren to confirm it was her. Ren was feeling the heat just a little too intently and began hiding behind the card she was holding. “Ahem!” Yoshida exclaimed, getting everyone’s attention back on him. “This makes it very clear that children have ideas they wish to express. And the popularity of the interview suggests that people are willing to listen. But we can’t make that a sometimes thing. We need to learn to listen whenever we can. I know that they can’t vote, but that doesn’t mean that if I’m elected, I’m representing them less.

I will listen to everyone’s concerns, no matter who brings them to me. I am running to represent all of you. To be that reflection of you all. And I wish that I would be a reflection you are proud to wake up to in the morning, and proud to see before you go to sleep. Thank you.” There was a little bit of clapping.

After the speech, Ren and Yoshida met up. “Sorry about that,” Yoshida said.

“No, it’s fine. I said it was alright” Ren said, clearly exhausted.

“Well, neither of us expected that much attention to shift towards you,”Yoshida responded.

Ren gathered herself. “By the way, that was an excellent speech.”

“Ah ha, thank you,” Yoshida said. “And as I said earlier, you did well yourself. Especially against someone like Akechi.”

Ren was a bit stunned. “You know Akechi?”

“Well, not personally,” Yoshida said. “But his reputation as Japan’s second Detective Prince precedes him. He’s apparently solved quite a few cases the police were stumped by.”

“I see…” Ren said, going into some thought. “Switching topics…” Yoshida looked at her, curious. “Well, I know you said kids have their own thoughts, and you used mine and Akechi’s debate as evidence, but…I don’t know if that’s more the majority, or just a vocal minority.”

“Bah ha!” Yoshida laughed. “I can see why you’d think that. But let me ask you this: Do you think every adult is as driven to stand for something?” Ren was surprised. “Exactly. So why should a concern be ignored just because it comes from a child? It shouldn’t.”

“Right. Sorry” Ren said.

“It’s fine,” Yoshida said. “As much as you know, there are some things you only learn through experience. But even so, you’re something special.”

Ren was surprised. “I am?”

Yoshida nodded. “While you might not have as much experience, you’re strong-willed, and have a good heart. That alone will take you a long way, no matter where you go. And also, you’ve helped me too.” Ren was shocked.

Yoshida continued. “Before you began helping me, I would make my speeches, and I would try to get the crowd stirred, but there was always a voice in the back of my mind saying that I’ll never earn the people’s trust. But you have proven me wrong, and I feel that makes me a better politician. Not just promising results, but seeing that people listen. So thank you, for helping me find my footing.”

Ren smiled. “Thank you. For helping me find mine too.” Yoshida’s smile widened. Ren’s did as well.

Sun-Toranosuke Yoshida: Rank 2

After their meeting, they headed home.

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #persona fanfiction #p5r #p5r rework #p5 rework #p5 femc #p5 #FeMC #female ren #ren amamiya #TAE TAKEMI #yoshida toranosuke

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miraculousfanworks · 4 years

Text

Top 10 Grammar Mistakes and How To Fix Them

Introduction

To make your writing better, you need to have good story flow, plot, and emotions. That can all be ruined if you don’t have good SPAG. SPAG is Spelling, Punctuation, And Grammar (capitalization intended). Errors can detract to an otherwise great story. The ten most common errors I see in a lot of writing are: commas, semi colons, subject-verb agreement, improper use of apostrophes (or improper lack of them), using quotation marks for emphasis (I saw this a lot in my Honors English class), using the wrong words, pronoun disagreement, using the wrong tense, using passive voice, and run on sentences. These put bumps in the flow of the story and don’t let the reader focus on what’s important: the content. Now, let’s dive into these issues, and how to fix them!

Commas

One of the main mistakes I see is not using commas the right way. Commas are to be used in a list, after dialogue, after certain words, and to pause within a sentence. Rule of thumb: If the flow of the sentence feels unnatural with the way the commas are placed, it probably needs to be rewritten. Cass has an extensive comma guide, as well as more punctuation tips right <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LFL9rjAg6B4zfcRBTNl2W5v8mPs4KmEQMtvMYU65E9s/edit#heading=h.k2fr437dsmol"> here! </a> There’s more than just commas in here, so feel free to check it out!

Example

Incorrect: She was in a hurry so she ran around the house.

Correct: She was in a hurry, so she ran around the house.

Semi Colons

I don’t know why this is, but semicolons are something many writers fear. Semicolons are used to describe a person, as well as when connecting two independent clauses. When figuring out whether to use a semicolon, separate the sentences in question. If both of them make sense on their own, use a semicolon; if they don’t, use a comma.

Example

Incorrect: They went to the park, they sat on the swings.

Correct: They went to the park; they sat on the swings.

Correct: They went to the park. They sat on the swings.

Subject-Verb Agreement

Subject verb agreement is taught very early on, yet I see people making this mistake often. This mistake is especially obvious, and even one of these can detract from the story. You don’t make the verb plural if the subject is plural, and you don’t make the verb singular if the subject is singular.

Example

Incorrect: The blanket are on the floor.

Correct: The blanket is on the floor.

Also correct: The blankets are on the floor.

Improper Use of Apostrophes (Or Improper Lack Of Them)

Apostrophes may be small, but where and when you put them in, or where you don’t, makes a big difference. You use them for contractions, possessives, and mentioning decades. They’re also used as a symbol for inches when talking about someone’s height.

Example

Incorrect: Shes from Canada.

Correct: She’s from Canada.

Using Quotation Marks For Emphasis

This used to be the most common mistake my classmates and I made just two years ago in an honors class. When we wrote down that a character told the other characters they would go somewhere or do something, but they secretly did something else, we’d put quotation marks around it to show they were doing something else. You can emphasize this in other ways, like rearranging the sentence and/or adding more words.

Example

Incorrect: She “died,” according to her family, but her love will find her, and take her away from the fight.

Correct: She faked her death, but her love will find her, and take her away from the fight.

Using The Wrong Words

Another mistake I see all the time is using the wrong words. People use “there” when they should use “they’re”or “their,” and they mix up “your” and “you’re.” Examples of this mistake are put in memes and made into ironic statements.

Example

Incorrect: They had the best time of they’re lives.

Correct: They had the best time of their lives.

Pronoun Disagreement

Lots of people, specifically non native English speakers, do this all the time. Similarly to subject verb agreement, they use the wrong version of words, except this is for when you name specific people, not a general subject, like “she” or he.”

Example

Incorrect: Mark lose his pen.

Correct: Mark loses his pen.

Also correct: Mark lost his pen.

Using The Wrong Tense

Using the wrong tense could be that you used past tense for the whole story, but should’ve used present tense or vice versa, but that's completely subjective. The type of wrong tense I’ll be focusing on is when the rest of your story is past tense, and you write a section in present tense, or vice versa.

Example

Incorrect: She knew it was her fault. She is the one who sent her the mean note.

Correct: She knew it was her fault. She was the one who sent her the mean note.

Passive Voice

This isn’t necessarily a mistake, but it makes your writing look weak. It looks like something was done to the object by someone, rather than someone actively doing something to the object. Passive voice also makes it look more accidental, when you mean to say they did something on purpose.

Example

Incorrect: The sandwich was eaten by Sue.

Correct: Sue ate the sandwich.

Run On Sentences

Run on sentences make the writing look a little sloppy and like someone said it really quickly. Rule of thumb: if you can’t say the sentence in one breath, you have a run on sentence. For that, either use punctuation or put a period, depending on where the natural pauses are.

Example

Incorrect: She wore a stunning dress with sparkles and it went down to her knees and it was a deep velvety shade of purple like a queen’s dress at the fanciest occasion.

Correct: She wore a stunning dress with sparkles. It went down to her knees and it was a deep, velvety shade of purple. It was like a queen’s dress at the fanciest occasion.

Conclusion

If any of you haven’t quite mastered these rules, it’s ok. That’s what betas are for. They read your fictional works, find what you’re trying to achieve, and help you fix mistakes. In the meantime, you can refer to these anytime, and improve your SPAG. Happy writing, authors!

#submission #tag: guide #grammar #writing

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revisionaryhistory · 3 years

Text

Three Days ~ 69

~*~Sebastian~*~

Emma is not the first woman to learn to say I love you in Romanian. She is the first one to learn it so I'd hear it attached to my name. Until she asked me the question, I had no idea I had a preference or how much having someone put in the effort for me to hear it would mean to me.

I want to stay like we are right now. The feel of her in my lap, pressed against, and holding on to me is the most relaxing and comforting feeling. I thought Celie was crazy when she had wished Emma was with me after our last session. Now, I understand. Emma waiting for me to do the thing that trips me up, knowing it, and her expression when I realized I'd done it. As Celie had said, the comfort and acceptance were more than I could imagine. I don’t know what could be better.

I'd immediately caught Emma saying "that summer" instead of "rehab." I knew from what Eli had said, and what Emma hadn't, that there was more than she was saying. Her slip was good. She was trusting me. Her lack of trust had no more to do with me than me not wanting to admit my fear had to with her. All either of us could do was to be a safe place for the other to grow. I've heard about this safe place but never been there before.

I didn't want to pretend I hadn't noticed her slip. That would have both of us lying. I did want her to know I was going to leave it alone. I believe if and when it's something I need to know, she'll tell me. My Emma does not hide from difficult conversations.

Little did I know we were about to have another one.

Emma started a trail of kisses on my neck and wound up at my mouth. After a very nice kiss, she sat back. I dropped my hands to her hips, waiting for whatever was coming. "Since your fans have decided you’re about to propose, we should discuss."

I laughed. For many reasons. I should have known from the way she'd reacted and her apparent inability not to not talk about things that this conversation was coming. This conversation being the last one I wanted to have. Ever. My laughter might have been more psychotic than humor. "Were your kisses to distract your commitment phobic boyfriend from having a panic attack?"

"Are you?"

"Having a panic attack? Not yet."

She shook her head, "Commitment phobic."

Yes, definitely. Maybe? I shrugged, "Fuck if I know." I hadn't thought about my impending proposal since Olivia had mentioned it. Very unlike me, but I'm getting used to these surprises.

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Have a panic attack?"

"Propose."

I closed my eyes, shook my head, and laughed again. The reason is unclear. I really should be having a panic attack. I'm not even close. Also, not even close to proposing. Possibly verging on psychotic that I’m allowing this conversation.

Emma ignored me. "Marriage has never been a goal for me. I'm not against it, but I'm not sold on the whole premise. My parents have a more business like marriage."

I was surprised, "They don't love each other?"

"I don't know. They may love each other but I don't think they’re in love. They're very tangled together personally and professionally. If I have to pretend I'm unhappy so Amy doesn't relapse they have to avoid divorce. It's not like I don't have good role models for marriage. Ed and Jill are still crazy in love. They were together ten years and Harper was two before Ed proposed. I don't know why they decided to do it." She paused and looked lost, like my question had interrupted her train of thought. I saw when she found her place. "What I was saying... if it was important to my partner, that's different. It's not something I need. It makes sense for health insurance or tax purposes. Otherwise," she shrugged, "not so much. Vows and paperwork don't guarantee anything or give me what I want."

Emma is still in my lap. My hands are still on her hips. Hers have moved down low on my biceps. We are still close. I am still present in this conversation and not starting a fight or trying to get out of it. Instead, I'm going to ask a question to which I care about the answer. "What do you want?"

"Nothing that will surprise you." Emma smiled and laid her fingers over the spot on my side. She didn't even have to look down to find it. "I want words whispered in the dark after making love, glances across a room, whole conversations without speaking, voices so loud the neighbors complain because of fighting so hard to make it right." She frowned and shook her head. "Paperwork and a ceremony won't give me that."

"No, it won't." I said very calmly. Emma laid her head back on my shoulder and I ran my fingers along her back and in her hair. "Do you want my opinion on my impending proposal?"

"No." Emma laughed, sat back, put her hands on my face, and kissed me. "You're not sure if you're freaking out about the conversation or because you're not freaking out. I don’t think you’re sure what your opinion is."

She wasn't wrong. "I'm ok with not knowing. Are you?"

"Do you love me?" The corner of her mouth started to curve.

So did mine, "Yes"

"That's all I need you to know."

I full-on smiled, "Then I got you covered."

She moved her hands around in between us and on my stomach, "This whole conversation was to eliminate expectation and pressure."

Yet again she both works around and through my shit. My lips were a tight line as I shook my head and slid my hand under and into her hair, "What am I going to do with you?"

"Oh, I bet you have some ideas."

"Only about a hundred." I pulled her closer, bringing her to my open mouth. The taste of her, the soft touch of her tongue against mine, the warmth of her mouth made everything alright, but there was nothing wrong. Nothing at all wrong.

Emma's fingers were in my hair when she moved back to meet my eyes, "What do you need, Sebastian?"

"Nothing I don't have in my lap."

I absolutely hate the split second of thought that she's playing me. She's not. I don't think she is. The thought came and went. She wouldn’t. I have no doubts.

Her arms went around my neck and she nuzzled against my ear, "It's ok if you wonder if I’m lying to make you feel safe and then trap you. Because you know better.”

I moved away and glared at her. "How do you do that? Are you a witch?"

"Absolutely. Every Friday before the last full moon I did a seeking spell."

"Don't you mean a love spell?"

"No. Didn't you see The Craft? Love spells don’t work the way people think they do." She gasped, "Or was it The Covenant? Wait, you're the witch."

"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife." Given the rest of this conversation, the Princess Bride quote seemed appropriate. We both started laughing. I love laughing.

I don't know when the right time to talk about shit is, but I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be having this conversation if not for fan comments. There’s more coming. I'm going to get it all out there. Might be too much, but fuck it. "Next up is wondering if you're pregnant."

Emma cringed, "I'm not."

"We're not engaged either. Reality is irrelevant. Let’s just get this out of the way. I love kids. I love how excited they get, how real everything is, the questions and how they take things in. They're like people. Only better." Emma smiled and nodded. "There's a lot of baggage around having kids, from me being one, but I do want kids. Plural."

"Me too."

I gave her a questioning look. I wasn't sure exactly what she was agreeing to.

"I want kids, plural, and also have baggage."

"Excellent, We're even." She nodded and gave me a thumbs up. We were going from serious conversation to play. I laughed and gently punched her shoulder, “Glad we had this little talk.”

Emma grabbed my face with one hand, squeezed my cheeks, “I was only addressing the engagement rumor. You went for babies.”

“I said I love you first.”

“I told you I was falling in love with you the night we kissed.”

The way she kept a straight face was incredible. I screwed up my face and held up a finger, “One, you never used the word love.” I put up another finger, “Two, it might have been the same night, but we were way past kissing. I distinctly remember being naked, satisfied, and tired.”

“It was still the night we kissed.”

I looked up and moved my head around, “Technically.”

Emma puffed out a breath, narrowing her eyes, “Fine, you win.”

“Oh, I think we’ve both won.” I kissed her, but backed away quickly. “Actually there is something I need.”

“What’s that?”

Her fingers in my hair threatened to derail my train of thought. “I need to meditate.” It occurred to me this might be bad timing. “Nothing to do with the last half hour. I just usually meditate. I can start to tell when I haven’t.” Again, with the foot in my mouth. “Not that I’m feeling it.” I growled, “Let me try again. Meditation is something I do to keep myself level. If I don’t meditate for a couple of days I start to notice. I usually meditate sometime right before and after I see you. We’re going to be together for over a week. I need to meditate sometime. I know you don’t care if I do. It’s just not something that’s been part of us.” There was an equivalent for her. “Like you don’t practice guitar while I’m around.”

“That’s my zen. I have too much of a monkey mind to sit in silence. I don’t understand what focus on your breath means. Am I counting, noticing the in and out of my stomach, noticing the air passing through my nose? I get too focused on if I’m doing it right. I love a good guided meditation. I need something to focus on.”

She’s very cute. “How about this. I meditate. You do a guided meditation or read or whatever. Then you practice and I’ll watch.”

“You want me to sit with you?”

I nodded, “I do. Not always.” I ran my hands up her back. “You feel good. I want you near.” She stood up and took my hand. I started to smile, “I should warn you. I think I’m going to be pretty turned on after guitar practice.”

“There’s a bonus.”

It took a little while for me to focus and let my thoughts go. Despite the seriousness of our conversation, there'd been a lot of fun too. The only thing left hanging was my opinion on marriage. My opinion is pretty close to hers. It's tangled up with wanting kids and I didn't want to go into everything. There's nothing I have a problem with her knowing, but we're not there yet. And frankly, I'd had enough. I’d put us out there and had a conversation about marriage and kids. Two out of the three I’d brought up and the other was a consequence of the picture. Historically I don't do any of those, at least without a lot of kicking and screaming. Emma had said she was proud of me. I was proud of myself too. I wasn't feeling overwhelmed, and saying enough assured that. We'd covered a lot of ground, both of us, and both were not ready to go into what I'm sure is our darkest places.

Meditating was ninety percent maintenance and ten percent current. The current was trying not to overthink, to let the conversation and feelings be what they were. They were good. I wanted Emma to sit with me because whether it's real or in my mind I can feel her. The comfort and acceptance, I need, no, I want to keep beside me.

My timer went off and I took a few deep breaths before opening my eyes. Emma was right where I left her, sitting on the couch behind me sitting on the floor. She was scrolling through something on her phone, putting it down when I turned around and crawled over her. I knelt between her legs and held her face while I kissed her, "Thank you."

Her hands held me right behind my armpits, "Anytime."

"Where's your guitar?"

"Guest room."

I jerked a little, "I've never been in that room." I stood up, taking her hand, and heading up the stairs. "Do you play something specifically for practice or just play?"

"I have some specific warm-up things then just play. I have an app that holds music and switch to learning something new after I’ve had some fun. I've usually got a few things I’m working on."

We entered the room and Emma clicked on the light. I got past the entryway and gasped when I looked around. The gasp turned to a laugh, "First thought was where did you get all these Pearl Jam posters?"

Emma smiled, "There is a storage unit with all the merch. I go shopping." She led me to the corner, "Acoustic and electric. What do you want to hear?"

"Weeks ago was acoustic. Electric ok?"

"Yep!" She picked up the blue guitar and checked the plugs before turning it on. "I need to warm up my fingers then you can look through, pick out whatever you want. Can't promise it will be good but I'll learn it."

"Can we take a guitar to my place? Continue the meditate and practice thing."

"Let’s make sure you’re not bored to tears first"

I grabbed her for a kiss, “I won’t be."

Being close while Emma warmed up I am sure I can not play guitar. Each hand doing something different, but with perfect timing. I don't have that coordination of fine motor skills. Gross motor is my thing. I can quickly learn a fight scene or something physical. I walked around for weeks playing with that knife to get my fingers to cooperate. After about five minutes she was ready to play something real.

There was a large screen iPad attached to a stand and pedal. Emma opened the program and showed me how she had things organized. I went to her file of "Favorites" and picked one.

After the second, I asked," You don't sing while you play?" She wasn’t, but I knew she could.

"Not usually. I'm working on technique and getting the music right. I do for fun and sometimes singing along makes my fingers work better. Plus, my guitar playing is much better than my singing. I'm good at guitar but only a passable singer."

I did exactly what I expect from her when talking about my performance. I told the truth. "I think you're better than passable. You're not Adele, but I enjoy listening to you."

Her expression said she was amused. "Let me practice some more, then I’ll do something for you."

I winced and closed my eyes, "So turned on."

I picked a few more from her favorites and the file of things she knew. She took over choosing from the "working" folder. I liked watching her repeating sections to get them right, her frustration when she stumbled, and her satisfaction when she got it. She worked through sections before going back to play through. After working through a few songs she put the electric guitar down and picked up the acoustic. "Requests?"

"You pick. There's not a folder for things you can sing along to."

"This is true." Emma immediately started playing. I recognized "Stay" by Lisa Loeb and smiled. The smile stayed in place until she ended the impromptu concert with the INXS song from the party. Not sure if she was finished, but I was.

I crooked my finger, "Come here." Emma put her guitar on the stand and walked over, standing between my legs with her arms resting on my shoulders. I ran my hands up her thighs, over her hips, and lifted her shirt enough to kiss her stomach, "It's been too long since I've been inside you."

"Are you having withdrawal symptoms?"

"Definitely."

She reached between my legs, her grip tight, "This is a problem. Are you in pain?"

I hissed in a breath with her stroking me, "If I say yes will you kiss it and make it better?"

"Absolutely." Emma let go of my cock, moved her hand under my chin to turn my face up, and kissed me. It was a slow kiss with a quick swipe of tongue. Enough to have me wanting more. I always want more. Her fingers ran over my beard as she pulled away. "Stay here. Take off your pants. I’ll be right back."

Her shirt came flying at me from the hall while I was taking off my shorts. She was back in under thirty seconds, naked, and holding a strip of condoms. Those were dropped on the bed as she knelt where she had been standing. "Let's see what I can do to help you out?"

I leaned back on my hands, watching. Emma’s right hand held me at the root, holding my cock steady, while she licked me. Little licks where I liked best and long licks up my length. I liked the tease. I liked watching her tongue against my skin as my brain registered the soft, warm, wetness. She went lower to give my balls the same attention. I dropped my head back with her gentle sucking and her hand running along my length. Her free hand went up my chest and to my face. I turned my head and sucked her thumb into my mouth, using my tongue to circle her thumb like she had the head of my cock. Emma took the hint and moved her mouth back to my cock, sliding her mouth down until I felt the head of my cock contact the back of her throat. She swallowed around me, creating an amazing grip on sensitive spots.

"Love when you do that. When you're trying to swallow me."

Emma backed up, running her tongue around my head a few times before taking me deep again. I pulled my shirt over my head and laid back on my elbows on the bed. I wanted to keep watching until I was inside her. I tore open a condom and handed it to her. I was treated to watching her put it on me with her mouth. "Didn't know you could do that."

Emma kissed my hip before placing a sucking kiss on my side that wrenched a moan from me. "What fun would it be if you knew all my tricks at once."

She had a point. "Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue too?"

Emma laughed and paused her ascent up my torso. "I was a little sister in a fraternity. What do you think?"

"I think I'm buying you an Amaretto Sour." Stupid bar trick, but still fun, because I know what her tongue can do.

My eyes drifted shut and I took in the feeling of her mouth and hands. Her fingers were all over, which was a nice contrast to the directness of her kisses. As she crept higher, I laid my head to the side, smiling with the first touch of her lips to my neck. I shivered at the contact.

I was being the world's laziest lover. My hands were barely even touching her. She just felt so good. The sucking, the kisses, the touching, all lighting up my nerves. I put a little effort in when her mouth met mine. However, she was quickly gone and on to the other side of my neck. Emma ran her tongue around the shell of my ear. I hoped my moan sounded appreciative.

"Do you want me to fuck you, Sebastian?"

Hello!

My eyes popped open, "I think I would like that very much." Silencing me with a kiss, I felt Emma's hand around me again. She pushed up, leaving a hand in the middle of my chest, and sank down on my cock. Emma's eyes drifted closed with a moan turned sigh, "Such a good fit."

I couldn't disagree, "Yeah." She moved along my length, switching up the movement of her hips and tightening her inner muscles. She looked as good as she felt, pleasure written on her face.

I continued my speaking only participation. "Feels good, baby."

Emma laid over to kiss me and I ran my hands up her thighs to grab her ass. She sat back up and continued riding me.

"Touch yourself for me."

There's a sight. Without question she did as I asked, her fingers going between her legs and moving against her clit. Her rhythm on my cock didn't change. Fuck, I liked watching her getting us both off.

Emma reached further back, her fingers on my cock as it entered her, "Who's going to come first?"

"I'd like that to be you."

"Would you?"

I smiled. Slow and dirty. "I wanna feel it."

She ground down on me and focused on herself, barely pulsing her hips "You want to feel me tighten up and come all around your cock?"

"That's exactly what I want. To be buried deep inside you when you come. I want to watch too."

"Let me help you out." She put a hand behind her, between my legs, and leaned back.

I did enjoy the view. I grabbed a pillow and shoved it behind my head, raising my head up enough to see better. I could see my cook, slick with her where I entered her body, and where her fingers were rubbing. Her eyes were closed and her body moved in waves. She needed to come quick or I would.

"Bastian, gonna come."

"Oh, thank god." I hadn't meant to say that out loud.

Emma looked at me and started to laugh, but was stopped by her orgasm. Her eyes squeezed shut, her mouth dropped open, and her body stopped moving. I felt her tighten around me, each pulse pushing me closer to my own release. The hand between her legs moved to my chest to support herself as she lowered herself to kiss me. I wanted to suck the taste of her off her fingers. I stretched up as she pulled away.

She whispered, "Your turn."

Unexpectedly she pulled off my cook and went back to kneeling by the bed. She replaced the condom with her mouth. "Fuck, Emma." She worked me fast. Going from the all over feeling inside her to the concentrated feel of her tongue right where I needed it. Felt so good and I held on for as long as I could. Emma took me deep and I cried out for her as I came.

Emma's fingernails raking down my inner thigh sent a shiver of aftershock through me. She kissed below my belly button, "Feel better?"

"I was feeling good before, but sure." I stretched my arms out to the sides and arched my back with a shit eating grin on my face.

Emma gasped and propelled herself up my body, landing on me with an “Oof.”

I laughed, “That was a wrong answer?” I flipped us over, trapping her on the bed.

She laughed and tried to push me off. “Where was all this energy fifteen minutes ago?”

I pinned her hands, “I was conserving.”

“Liar.”

I kissed her, “Yes.” I kissed her again, deeper. She wasn’t fighting me anymore. Not that she ever was. “I liked being lazy.”

“When I tie you to the bed and do wicked things to you I’m also gagging you so you can’t make your wants known.”

“Na, you like hearing me moan too much.” I nudged her face to the side and kissed her neck. Once softly. The second time longer with my mouth open and tongue making nonsense patterns. I let go of her hands because I wanted them on me. One went to my back and the other went into my hair. Perfect. I moved further down the slope of her neck, knowing I was in the right place when her grip tightened. Her nails dug into my back and she pulled my hair just a little.

“Mmm, I do enjoy that.”

“Come on.” I pushed away from her, standing up and taking her hand, “I need more room to work.”

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