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#oh to be a wooed princess
itsamenickname · 11 months
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Bowser: *momentarily, and shyly, looks away before he takes a few steps closer* I guess...love really makes a guy come out of his shell, heh, heh. *starts blushing while he holds out a bouquet of flowers*
Mario: *looks at Bowser with a disgusted, and slightly horrified, expression*
Peach: *rolls her eyes in annoyance as she wonders who would be stupid enough to fall for Bowser's ridiculous pickup line*
Luigi: *quietly stares at Bowser with stars in his eyes as he inwardly debates on whether he should ask Bowser to take him right then and there*
(Psst, @bjititzu, I told you I was going to make this post.)
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pianokantzart · 18 days
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So if the bros actually are in Sarasaland for the sequel, why are they there? And if Daisy does appear, what would her role be? Perhaps something similar to DK’s role in the first movie?
Whatever it is, I hope they establish her as more than just Luigi’s love interest. I’ve seen some people mention how much they want her to appear in the sequel, but it’s only so she and Luigi can make goo-goo eyes at each other and nothing else.
If they are in Sarasaland, I'm going guess either
They need Princess Daisy's help either to find a macguffin or for political allegiance.
They got lost somewhere in their journey (maybe due to a malfunctioning warp pipe) and now need help finding their way home / to The Darklands to save Princess Peach.
In either case, I do imagine Princess Daisy would serve kind of a DK-ish role where she joins them partway through their adventure to give them a leg up. She acts as the muscle, mostly working in the background while having obvious on-screen importance in terms of turning the tide of battle.
As for her interaction with Luigi, I'm with you. Either I want her to have a respectful (albeit a little obvious) crush on Luigi that he stays entirely oblivious to for the entire movie or... better yet... I want them to handle it exactly the same way they handled Peach and Mario's relationship.
There's no moment that sparks fly, but you can see tiny things clicking into place: soft moments of connection and little instances of Daisy paying especially close attention to Lu's emotional state. From a distance it looks like just a strong friendship forming, but if you look harder you can see something a little stronger than that brewing beneath the surface.
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majorpepperidge · 6 months
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the phantomposting starts NOW
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squishosaur · 9 months
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um!! fantasy movie time <3
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bonus scene btw
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hanakihan · 6 months
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Chulwoo AU where both die (no powers SL AU as well) and end up story/dimension hoppers that get assigned roles and must lead a story to certain point/ending to move to next stage
Jinchul grasps this weird concept and decides to play along because there’s nothing more to do and he doesn’t want to test out what failure will mean
First couple of stories goes smoothly and relatively easy (despite whole ass set of restrictions) but then he notices spike in difficulty and how some events don’t go as planned
He suspects there’s more ‘hoppers’ than him per story and it turns out Jinwoo is one of those as well but he has different set of requirements that apparently contradict those of Jinchul’s
At first they try to outplay each other because both don’t want to see what happens after failure but in such attempt the best they got is some sort of middle ground which allowed them both to proceed. And since then two been stuck together in each world trying to find a middle ground for theirs requirements and both absolutely hate it when they end up on opposing sides because that’s gotta be the hardest shit.
Two complete strangers slowly get to know each other and reveal bits and pieces about who they used to be before this mess (and as it turns out they actually were lovers who died together in an accident and now it’s literally them falling in love all over again)
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space-dutchess · 3 months
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well my score is garbage but i really liked my style salon entry this time 😊
going for a kinda front-row-paris-fashion-week vibe
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like-sands-of-time · 3 months
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I wonder what ani and padmé would have been like as parents to Luke and Leia, and later grandparents to Ben. Like I don't have any great developed thoughts on that whole au concept I just do love the thought. Ben has so much impressive family, and a lot of uncles and aunts to look up to. If a lot of things had gone a lot differently, idk how, and padmé and ani got to grow older and stronger together, if Ben were to have his grandfather not only as a legend but as a person to hold him and tell him stories, I wonder what that would have been like.
#what if ben wants really badly to be a knight like his uncle is when hes young bc girls are gross or whatever and hes shy and awkward#so hes pretty sure hes never gonna be with anyone anyway#and then when hes almost 30 he meets rey and he has his oh moment#padmé was quite a bit older than anakin so it looks like ben will be more like his grandmother than he realized#rey actually is a nobody from nowhere bc duh#but despite her lack of etiquette training or politicking she fits in with princess leia like SO well and the fam loves her#especially when they start noticing the changes in ben... cripplingly shy and quiet ben is trying to woo rey and failing adorably#or so it seems. mostly because he doesnt come out and speak his intentions.. sure that a girl like her wouldnt actually want him#never mind that theyre dyads and they share a mind connection. he somehow finds a way to misinterpret her emotional responses#mostly because he has no measure for these things in his own life#but also.. neither does rey. and a lot of new stuff is happening in her life including suddenly having the force and a forcebond#with a prince of the galaxy of all people !! shes got some major imposter syndrome going on#oh maybe its also implied that she will be bens queen because of the forcebond from the time they find out so its SORT OF an arranged#marriage?? and she obviously senses his anxiety and trepidation and he clearly is willing to go through with it.. even trying to court her#but she thinks its better if they dont try bc the force may be saying they have to be together but she believes in making her own choices#and she actually thinks bens a nice guy and a good friend to have. but obviously she says this to him trying to make things better#tells him they should just be friends. she likes him and his family and is so grateful they accepted her but they should get to choose#so ben takes this with grace (lol) and he does agree to be her friend because its better than nothing right and everything about her is just#so captivating to him that he cant help but friendzone himself. but on the way to strengthening their bond and training together they grow#closer and the tension between them coils tightly. so rey TOLD ben they should have a choice and she doesn't want to go back on that#theyre still arranged to be married or perhaps they already are married but living separately. but still she doesnt want to make him think#shes fickle or ruin their friendship because she cant control herself. shes clearly confusing her feelings for his too (shes not)#and ben is majorly confused when he realizes that the affection he feels is returned at long last he doesnt know if he should confront her#or if he should be subtle about it. courting didnt seem to work last time but things are different now. he brings her gifts theres nothing#wrong with that. so he's picked up on gift giving but more personalized? and hes taking her on trips bc she wants to see different worlds#he already reads books about topics that interest her but now he gifts them to her or talks about those topics#and shes so determined to keep it to herself he realizes that he kisses her!! he feels so confident and assured in that moment. he knowswhat#he feels and he knows what she feels. theres no need to hold back any longer. he doesn't want to. ben takes her hand and goes before his#grandparents to ask for their blessing for marriage. everyone is pleased to finally be able to speak freely of them. ben and rey and both#overjoyed. theirs is the biggest most extravagant wedding in the galaxy. moreso than han and leias. everything is perfect
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k-star-holic · 2 years
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"I've been playing" Kang Tae-oh, Jung Wooyoung' Eyelashes and Kiss god Beautification TV viewer ratings 20% Committee (Elf Princess Rane)
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wonryllis · 3 months
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HIGH ON HEELS FOR YOU.
────𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆.
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( NOTES. ) enhypen as starstruck bois. fluff. fem!centered. lowercase intended. unedited. 860wc. requested. 𓈃 ๋ 𝐍𝐄𝐖 峠 requests open!
⋆ ─ LEE HEE-SEUNG. 이희승 boy can't take his eyes off your feet quite literally. from the moment you bring them out he's staring at the pair, watching your pretty hands put your pretty feet in them, tying the little pretty ribbons around your pretty ankles.
"baby, are you wearing that one?" heeseung asks, his brown orbs glued to the pastel green pencil heels you grab from your closet. slowly moving closer and sitting beside you on the vanity couch as you put them on carefully,"it's so beautiful, it even goes with your nails!" you laugh at the enthusiasm in his voice, everytime you wear heels he just babbles so many compliments.
⋆ ─ PARK JONG-SEONG. 박종성 jay is relatively composed even though in his mind all he can think about is how beautiful you look in those blue heels he just bought for you the other day. for him it looks even prettier because he got them for you, he choose it for you.
"aren't these the ones i got you from milan?" jay walks over to the full mirror in your closet as you admire how the baby blue wedges look on you, his hands circling around your waist and chin resting at the crook of your neck. "i knew you'd look so so pretty in them," you nod giggling when he press a fluttering kiss to your exposed shoulder before admiring you in the mirror.
⋆ ─ SIM JAE-YUN. 심재윤 you best believe he's the one putting them on for you. eyes sparkling the way they compliment your dress, oh also he putting the dress on you too. he just wants to be the one to doll you up his pretty little girl who just needs to sit and look pretty.
"let me choose!" jake rushes past you into the closet, quickly sliding open the doors and going through the bunch of dresses and heels you own. when he finds the dress he wants, he helps you put it on through every step. as for the heels he goes down on his knees, guides you feet in them and ties the pretty white lace around your ankle,"like a real doll, my doll, so pretty,"
⋆ ─ PARK SUNG-HOON. 이희승 he literally has hearts in his eyes as he watches you. always walks behind you cause he lovess the way your hips sway from side to side when you walk in your heels. and the way you look so confident he's down bad for it.
"angel, you're so beautiful. how do you manage to be so beautiful all the time?" sunghoon rambles walking just a step behind and pausing a second too long at the doors of the elevator as you get on first. at the party he's literally gatekeeping you from others,"can't believe you're all mine," sneaking little neck kisses and jaw kisses here and there to show you off at the same time.
⋆ ─ KIM SUN-WOO. 김선우 he's such a hype man for you, always encouraging you to put on your pretty heels for him. when you get tired he'll always offer to piggyback you or carry you princess style. also loves holding you close by your lower back, such an opportunity for him.
"my baby is always a beauty," sunoo gushes having his hand around your lower back as you walk through the party you're at. gushing and asking everyone you two talk to "isn't my girl so pretty?" and how lucky he is to have you. "we'll be leaving, my baby is tired," when he notices your discomfort, bending down and signalling you to get on him,"come on, your prince will bring you home,"
⋆ ─ YANG JUNG-WON. 양정원 you can see it all in his face, the way he's at a loss for words, the way he moves around you everything. but he also worries if you might twist your ankle or trip so always holds your hands and leads anywhere and everywhere you go.
"here, hold on to me love," jungwon offers his arm when you reach a pair of steps that are too steep. and immediately after intertwining his fingers with you to guide you safe as he walks just a step ahead supporting you. "you look so pretty in heels but you know i dont wan' you hurt," he says pressing a kiss to your forehead and then after to your lips, tightening his grip.
⋆ ─ NISHIMURA RI-KI. 西村力 if he's not saying anything just know he loves it. and if he starts complaining that he'll not carry you back if you get tired just know he'll take off your heels for you and make you wear his shoes while he holds onto them and walks back bare foot.
"there i saved you princess," riki grins slyly, holding tight onto your waist after you accidentally trip on open air and grass. his hand stays there for a moment as he helps you stand straight, tucking a strand of hair that fell on your eyes. he immediately scoops you up and places you on a nearby bench. then taking off his shoes and your heels,"put them on pls, hm?"
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TAGLIST ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii
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dannyricsmirrorball · 6 months
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paddock princess • cl16 ੈ✩‧₊˚
ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairing || charles leclerc x journalist!reader
ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au
ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || y/n is an f1tv presenter. charles is a scuderia ferrari f1 driver. there’s no way they’re together… right?
ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || kinda basic and predictable but thought it was cute.
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liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and 40,982 others
yourusername let’s go 2023 🇧🇭
tagged f1
username72 another season another year of y/n’s slay paddock fits
username16 ferrari red…?
natalie_pinkham gorgeous girl 😍
username55 another year of charles and y/n obnoxiously flirting while they’re both oblivious to the other
username81 woo so excited for this season and to see u on track and in the paddock 🤍🤍
scuderiaferrari loving the red 😍
username01 ofc charles already in the likes
username44 the best presenter in the paddock
f1 paddock princess!!
arthur_leclerc lfg
⤷ username16 supportive brother in law 🤔🤭
francisca.cgomes my girlllll
⤷ yourusername miss uuu
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liked by scuderiaferrari, francisca.cgomes, and 120,838 others
yourusername faces of the paddock
tagged pierregasly, charles_leclerc, landonorris, carlossainz55, maxvertsappen1, alex_albon
username82 see, this is what happens when u are respectful towards the drivers, they actually look like they’re having fun and not wanting to neck themselves
username33 max looks so happy 🥹
lilymhe that 4head 🤤 alex_albon
⤷ alex_albon 😐
carlossainz55 🧸🌶️
danielricciardo no feature??
⤷ yourusername well maybe if u had a seat…
⤷ danielricciardo oh.
⤷ heidiberger_ she’s got u there danny
⤷ username3 danny’s catching strays left and right… even from his own gf 😭
username61 the whole grid loves her like she’s literally paddock princess
username17 omfg charles that is literally a man that is IN LOVE
landonorris max looks v beautiful 😍😍
⤷ yourusername he does doesn’t he… 🤭
⤷ maxverstappen1 i pull it of do i not?
username72 i’m sorry?! the way charles is looking at her… i’m FLOORED
username91 i’m so sorry but the way they all interact w her like they’re friends… u do not see this w any other presenter or journalist. like she’s so good it makes u feel like they’re friends irl
⤷ landonorris what are u talking abt? y/n is literally my best friend
⤷ pierregasly hate to break it to you mate but pretty sure she doesn’t feel the same
⤷ landonorris yeah soz probs ur gf 🙄
⤷ francisca.cgomes sorry lan and pierre 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
⤷ pierregasly more like *******
⤷ yourusername who’s that 🤔
charles_leclerc great pics y/n 🤍
⤷ username82 he is so painful
⤷ username5 what is this charles 😭
⤷ yourusername thanku charles 🤍
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liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, and 92,038 others
yourusername exciting stuff…
tagged scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, shellmotorsport
username02 AHHH SO EXCITED
username37 obsessed w anything ferrari x y/n
pierregasly he still thinks he can wink 😟
scuderiaferrari very exciting!
username91 MORE CHARLES Y/N CONTENT YES PLS
charles_leclerc so fun seeing u today x
⤷ username27 my man can NOT flirt
⤷ username52 mans is lucky he has a pretty face
username22 ready to watch y/n and charles shamelessly flirt whilst carlos watches no thoughts head empty
username33 y/n is the best interviewer she always makes the drivers comfortable and have fun - helps that charles is defs majorly crushing
carlossainz55 always a fun time 🔥
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liked by username4, pierregasly, and 12,037 others
leclerc_updates take a guess at who he’s looking at in every single one of these
tagged charles_leclerc, yourusername
username14 pierre?? what are u doing here?!
username92 pierre is always lurking
username16 pierre is sick of charles being a lovesick fool and is taking matters into his own hands
username91 HE LOOKS SO IN LOVE HELP
username28 he’s so fucking fine and he’s down so bad
username75 charles_leclerc fight back?!
username01 my man STAND UP
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liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman, and 230,928 others
yourusername we are going to monte carlo!
username91 red for ferrari at charles’ home race ❤️‍🔥
username2 fits never disappoint
lilymhe stunning gorgeous gal
charles_leclerc have a beautiful time
⤷ username64 is this him trying to tell her she’s beautiful?? he’s seriously so bad at flirting
danielricciardo don’t be surprised if u accidentally fall in
⤷ yourusername u wouldn’t…
⤷ natalie_pinkham he would
⤷ yukitsunoda0511 he would
leclerc_pascale belle fille 😍
⤷ yourusername merci maman 🩷
⤷ username16 IM SORRY WHAT
⤷ username40 they are NOT slick w it
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liked by carlossainz55, lorenzotl, and 1,167,828 others
charles_leclerc 6th in today’s race. it was always going to be difficult with yesterday’s penalty.
thank you for all the amazing support this weekend. home race always feels special 🤍
username16 il predestinato 🙌
username91 the prince of monaco
username01 a good job charles 👏 get ‘em next time!
yourusername keep pushing 🤍
⤷ username9 best wag things
username56 at least u finished 😭
scuderiaferrari 💪❤️
joris__trouche proud of u mate
arthurleclerc ❤️
lorenzotl ❤️
username99 you’ll come back stronger!
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liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes, and 104,028 others
yourusername best birthday ever 🌺🌺
username73 oh my god i need that cake
username16 OMFG SECOND SLIDE HAS TO BE CHARLES
francisca.cgomes happy birthday my beautiful girl 💓
usernames73 SOFT LAUNCH???
username92 omg y/n softlaunching…. who’s the man?!
⤷ username47 it’s obv charles
⤷ username92 we don’t know that. i mean she’s a tv presenter/interviewer and he’s literally one of the most highly regarded and talented racing drivers in the world
⤷ username47 and he is literally friends w her? most of the grid is quite close w her and he openly flirts w her? lol stay mad
carlossainz55 happy birthday hermosa ❤️‍🔥
⤷ yourusername thanku carlitos 🤭
⤷ username3 carlos said if charles ain’t gonna shoot his shot i might as well hahahah
⤷ username21 always shipped them more, they have wayyy more chemistry than charles and y/n
⤷ username61 carlos literally said he sees her as a sort of younger sister and when y/n joined the racing community she said carlos took her under his wing like an older brother figure 🤢
⤷ username4 plus carlos is (along w pierre and kika) probably the biggest charles and y/n shipper
⤷ username8 and carlos literally has a gf 😭 and y/n is still rlly close w isa so she wouldn’t go there
⤷ username3 hasn’t stopped ppl b4…
pierregasly happy birthday mate 😝
⤷ yourusername thanku pear 🍐🩷
arthurleclerc hbd y/n 🥳
⤷ yourusername ❤️❤️
maxverstappen1 happy birthday y/n!
⤷ yourusername thankuuu max
naomischiff happy birthday love 💜
isahernaez happy birthday hun 😍💘
⤷ yourusername thankuuu isa 💖
carla.brocker happy birthday sis 🩵🩷
⤷ yourusername love u 🩷🩵
⤷ username12 sister in law??? 👀👀
f1 happy birthday to the queen of the paddock!
⤷ yourusername thanku admin 💛
alex_albon hbd rockstar 🤘
⤷ yourusername ty albono 🤘🤘
username65 with all the drivers and wags saying hbd, you’d forget she’s literally just an f1 presenter 😭
landonorris happy birthday bff best friend for life
⤷ yourusername thanku lan 😛
danielricciardo hiphiphooray oldie
⤷ yourusername thanku danny… but who are u calling old?
georgerussell63 happy birthday mate 👏
⤷ yourusername thank you gr 🤍
lewishamilton happy birthday y/n ☺️💜
⤷ yourusername thank you lewis 💜
⤷ username18 i actually cant. they love her so much. like lewis wouldn’t do this for half the drivers.
oscarpiastri hbd y/n 🙃
⤷ yourusername thanks oscar 🩷🩷
username55 all this noise abt y/n and charles dating but charles didn’t even say happy birthday… lol
instagram stories
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swipe up to reply
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liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 101,671 others
francisca.cgomes feliz aniversário minha linda menina! i love u forever and am proud of u beyond words. you are so talented and the kindest soul i’ve ever known. forever my soul sister 🩷🩷
tagged yourusername
username19 the best paddock friendship
usenane77 y/n being so close to pierre and kika warms my heart
username1 ok but like pierre and charles are def on the opposite side of the third pic
pierregasly 🤍
username89 pierre and charles being bffs and then their gfs also becoming bffs 🥹
⤷ username9 charles’ gf?
⤷ username89 not confirmed but basically confirmed
carla.brocker beauties ⭐️⭐️
⤷ username73 arthur’s gf ^^ 🌚
⤷ username8 they can just be friends without anything to do w charles
yourusername my sister 😘😘
username9 kika is so iconic for putting a pap pic of them
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liked by charlesleclerc_updates, pierregasly, and 20,836 others
f1wags mystery girl in charles’ new youtube video… is the ferrari driver taken?
do we think that a certain birthday girl is the one that finally snatched motorsports most wanted bachelor off the market?
tagged charles_leclerc
username89 OMG DEFS Y/N LIKE LOOK AT THE HAIR
username22 they were both in monaco at this time… it only makes sense
⤷ username81 well i mean it was the MONACO gp… not like it’s their job to be there
username16 everytime i accept they aren’t together… pierre likes another one of these posts
username55 guys stop being delusional! he didn’t even post or comment happy birthday to her?!
username5 i mean even if they were dating b4 i don’t think they are anymore
username92 u guys need to stop being delusional
username99 it makes so much sense i mean his brothers, and his brothers’ gfs, and his mum all comment on her posts
⤷ username55 yeah but he doesn’t anymore…
username17 charles is literally maybe the only person in the paddock who hasn’t wished y/n a happy birthday… if there was anything there it’s obv not there anymore
pierregasly 👀👀
⤷ username21 OMG PIERRE WHAT DO U KNOW
⤷ username64 IS THIS CONFIRMATION PIERRE
⤷ username9 omgomgbfhrkjejd
⤷ username16 look at the mess he’s made yourusername charles_leclerc
⤷ yourusername pierre.
⤷ charles_leclerc putain d'idiot
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liked by pierregasly, lorenzotl, and 12,092,828 others
charles_leclerc happiest of birthdays mon amour ❤️
3 years with you… i’d like to hang out with you for my whole life.
tagged yourusername
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faevi · 2 months
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hello!!! I saw that you wrote lifeguard Levi before, requesting lifeguard Gojo, smut 🙏 🙏 🙏
Jellyfish Sting // Gojo.
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Scenario: Ouch! Stung by a jellyfish. Good thing Lifeguard Gojo Satoru is here to save the day… Oh, and make you feel reeeaaaallll good.
Word Count: 16,681.
Content / Trigger Warnings: female reader (she/her), lifeguard!gojo, cunnilingus, blowjob, handjob, fingering, sexual intercourse, unprotected, creampie, exhibitionism, public, outdoors, beach sex, dirty talk, pet-names (mostly princess), a jellyfish sting(?), jokes of piss, big dick gojo, stomach bulge, phone call whilst sex happens, people walking by, spanking, massaging, praise, dom!gojo / taking orders, breathplay (via dick and blocking airways), weird position (idk if it has a name but on gojo’s shoulders as he holds you up as he . . .), rough, breast worshipping, finger sucking / consuming cum. all completely consensual.
I think that's it! Please (kindly) let me know if I missed something.
Note: A request is done, woo !! Again like I usually say - not my best. AHAHA. I try !! I didn’t proof-read or edit so forgive if there’s any mistakes, just ignooooore. Lifeguard Gojo is… drools. Very yum. I think that’s about it? ; - ; Thank you for waiting. If you’re reading this and enjoyed it, please let me know !! <333 I’m a slut for kind words. Like usual, I’ll try to do better with my writing. Also hopefully this one doesn’t get fl*gged like my other one :))))))))).
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS, PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT!!!
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The sun is blazing hot even amongst the few clouds in the sky. If it wasn’t for the sunscreen, you were sure you’d be burnt to a crisp. Truth be told, you didn’t even want to be outside today but, your friends whined about wanting to go to the beach and what kind of friend would you be to deny them that? Still, the weather could be a lot worse than it is and it’s the perfect season for cute bikinis to wear.
You quickly glance down at yourself, admiring the shade of red of your bikini and the flimsy strings tied into cute bows before sighing out softly, feeling content to just sit beneath the large umbrella that you rented with your small group of friends. They’re near the shoreline, playfully splashing each other and there’s a pang of guilt within you for not joining them so quickly. “Come on, Y/N. You won’t die.” You mumble to yourself, shifting yourself from your laying position until you’re up on your feet, carefully bending down so your head doesn’t hit the umbrella. It’s just a bit of sun. Besides, there’s a nice breeze and lifeguards here to save you— If you really do end up in danger. You look over to the tall chair, squinting a little to inspect the lifeguard that’s on duty in this area.
Your eyes travel a bit south of his body and you feel like all of the air was just knocked out of you and leaving you winded. Okay, so maybe his figure is gorgeous. Well-defined muscles. Really, well defined. That must be an eight-pack and how is that realistically possible? Even his legs look nice and long. Soft white hair that makes your fingers twitch with the urge to touch. His skin is clearly well taken care of when he’s out in the sun most days. Wait a minute— Was he looking at you? Even with distance, you can clearly see his head is turned in your direction, sunglasses not truly covering his eyes that you swear are looking your way. No… He’s probably just checking the general area.
He’s smirking at you. You’ve been caught.
You feel the heat rise to your cheeks, thankful to see that his co-worker is suddenly grabbing his attention and so before you’re truly distracted, you stomp through the sand towards your friends. Whatever. You just wanted to double-check check someone was on duty. That’s all it is. “Y/N, finally!” One of your friends whines playfully, latching around your neck to cling to you. “We were wondering when you’d join us. Sitting all alone is boring, y’know.” Your friend continues and you laugh softly, gently patting her back. “I was playing the main character in hopes that the hot lifeguard would look my way.” You say, giggling along with your friends as you glance towards the lifeguard once more.
He’s off the seat now and you couldn’t ignore the obvious sight of tight red shorts low on his hips, the v-line tempting you to want to see further. You feel like some nasty side of you is starting to awaken. You didn’t even pay attention to his hot co-worker; long black hair tied up and your friend clinging onto you gushing about his smile. He’s cute, you couldn’t deny that but, the white-haired lifeguard… There’s something about him.
“Quickly, one of us needs to start drowning.” Your other friend says and you playfully smack her shoulder. “Let’s all just actually swim.” You say, dragging your friends into the warm salty water. It didn’t take long for you to fool around with your friends, briefly oblivious to a certain lingering gaze on your figure. Even with hatred towards the heat, you find yourself grateful for visiting the beach. It’s comforting; to be able to spend time playing around with your friends before the days get busy again.
You grin as you splash one of your friends in retaliation to her own and the pair of you try to dodge each other’s attacks before there’s a sly smile on her face and she floats closer. “Mister lifeguard really does love looking at you~.” She teases and your mouth opens to respond, only for a sharp cry to escape your lips. There’s a painful stinging sensation across your leg and out of instinct, you begin to kick your leg as you flail away from the general area. “What? What is it!” One of the friends says, frantically taking a hold of you.
Usually, you have a high tolerance for pain, but nothing could stop the tears from appearing and threatening to spill as your lower leg area throbs. “J-Jellyfish!” You gasp out your warning, grabbing a hold of your friend who was clinging onto you and begin to swim back to the shoreline before you stumble onto the sand. A mere jellyfish managed to brush its nasty tentacles up against your leg. You plop your ass down against the sand, bringing your leg closer to try and inspect the unpleasant sting, biting back your soft whimpers of pain. “It’s just a sting, don’t worry.” You try to reassure your group of friends who are surrounding you and showing obvious signs of panic. You could feel the area throb, witnessing as it swells up and the parts where the tentacles actually touch flare up. You scrunch your face up, fingers digging into the sand as you try to not show how much it hurts. You didn’t want your friends to panic further. It’s a rather small incident compared to what could happen out in the ocean.
“What’s going on, girlies?”
You turn your head in the direction of the deep voice, eyes instantly making contact with a crystal blue pair, the sunglasses low on the bridge of the lifeguard’s nose. It’s the white-haired one. You feel like you could potentially faint from a mixture of pain and having his gorgeous existence right in front of your very eyes. You quickly glance to notice his co-worker is next to him, they’re both appearing rather concerned. Your friends back off to give space as they both kneel next to you, feeling your cheeks heating up quickly. “It’s nothing, honestly! I just got stung by a jellyfish.” You explain hastily, hands coming up to wave in dismissal, not wanting to distract the hot lifeguards from their actual job.
You feel something graze gently against your cheek and you finally snap your focus to the touch. The white-haired lifeguard’s finger wipes away a tear that managed to escape, offering a comforting smile before looking towards the large sting area and letting out a low whistle. “It got you pretty good.” He begins, leaning to the side to allow his co-worker to inspect the inflamed part of your leg. You’re too focused on the white-haired male with the sunglasses. His lips soon twist to form a playful smirk.
“Want me to piss on it?”
You felt like your mind completely malfunctioned and went into overdrive from hearing such a filthy question. Instantly, his co-worker smacks him across the back of his head and the playful lifeguard whines dramatically, hands coming up to the back of his head. “Don’t ever offer that stupid idea again, Satoru. You know that’s a myth. You’re going to traumatise the poor girl.” His co-worker sighs and all you could really focus on is the fact that you now know his name. Satoru.
Satoru rolls his eyes, lips forming what must be his signature pout as his hands come down to tenderly guide your leg closer to him. “I doubt she’d be traumatised from a bit of urine, Suguru. I was just joking.” He grumbles, noticing the way your friends appeared disgusted by the idea and yet, you’re simply flustered and avoiding eyes. Cute, is all Satoru can think. “Ladies, your friend—“ He pauses, looking your way.
“Y/N.”
“Y/N will be completely fine. I’ll take her up to the lifeguard tower and you guys can keep having fun. Suguru will keep watch.” Satoru expresses and you look towards your friends, all looking concerned. Even over a jellyfish sting. “I’m okay! Keep having fun, I’ll be good in no time.” You say hastily, maybe a bit too eager to be alone with the white-haired male. Hopefully, it’s not too obvious. Your friends continue to give looks of worry and even guilt about leaving you alone, but you simply give them a smile of reassurance as you press your hands against the warm sand, intending to move so you’re standing.
Instead, you feel a rush of air around you and something strong yet comforting wrapping around your body; one around the back of your knees and the other around your shoulders. You didn’t expect your mind to shortcircuit for the second time so soon as you managed to process that the pair of ‘something’ was Satoru’s toned arms lifting you with ease until he was carrying you bridal style. You let out an awkward laugh, ignoring how hot your face feels as you glance up at his smirking face. “It’s just a jellyfish sting, I’m sure I can walk.” You say quite timidly, ignoring the lingering gazes from both your friends and Satoru’s co-worker.
The white-haired male simply looks down at your face, pearly whites exposed as he grins a little, voice low and smug. “Princesses get carried, no? Come on.” He says, turning his broad back to the group as he begins to walk away. Trying to appear casual by rubbing your face as if something itches; you’re actually trying to hide your own giddiness from hearing his words, even noticing how careful he was with carrying you to not touch the area of your leg on where the jellyfish stung you. Satoru continues to walk through crowds of people on the beach, further up towards the tower, completely unphased by the burning sun against his pale skin. He briefly wonders to himself if he could manage to convince someone as cute as you to reapply sunscreen on spots he can’t reach.
Satoru should feel terrible for already thinking such selfish things but, in his defence? He could tell the attraction was mutual the second he caught you looking at him. It’s a miracle he was even looking away at that moment because the moment he saw you and your friends set up on the beach, he refused to move post with Suguru or other co-workers; insisting he stays on guard for that section of the beach. Just so he could continue to selfishly watch you for his own pleasure. He clears his throat to snap out of his deep thoughts. “So, I have a feeling that you’re not actually a fan of the beach, Y/N.”
You puff your cheeks out, head briefly resting against his shoulder as he continues to carry you. The muscles in his arms didn’t even twitch to show exhaustion. He was perfectly fine with holding you for a long time. “What gives you that idea? Have you been watching me?” You tease lightly, internally wondering where on Earth the confidence suddenly comes from. “Yeah, you’ve caught my eye.” The lifeguard replies, finally at the steps of the tower, looking down at you. You quickly look down, feeling even more exposed than before. Especially in your skimpy bikini. You couldn’t deny the happiness that seemed to ignite in your heart from hearing the lifeguard’s words. You’ve caught his eye. Out of everyone on that beach, it’s you. You sigh softly.
“I don’t hate the beach, I actually quite like it. I just feel like I’m going to dramatically burn to death or something from how hot the sun is. That aside, maybe I’ve found something to make me enjoy the beach more than before. Even the sun can’t stop it… or the sting.” You hastily add as you still feel your lower leg throbbing. Being with the hot lifeguard can only do so much. You watch as his lips curl and eyebrows twist to form a frown. “Right. Hold on.” He says, tightening his large hands against your body as he carries you up the steps of the tower before reaching the top. The door is already open as he steps inside sideways and your eyes notice another pair of gorgeous lifeguards sitting in front of the large windows that look down upon the beach. One with his blonde hair slicked back and keeping his body covered with the lifeguard jacket and longer shorts. You notice he’s wearing glasses. The other is another male; with long hair tied up into two messy buns and a bold tattooed line across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. They both tilt their heads towards you.
Satoru presses you against him as he holds you, refusing to let you stand. He really is giving you the princess treatment for just a jellyfish sting. “Utahime left for the day already, Nanami?” Satoru asks, stepping in the direction of the back of the tower. The blonde male simply nods, eyes focused on you for the moment. You offer a timid smile, looking down towards your fidgeting hands. “What happened with her?” The other lifeguard asks, glancing towards you before returning their gaze towards the windows, and picking up a pair of binoculars. “Jellyfish sting, nothing too bad but I’d rather treat it than let her sit out in the sun and wait for the pain to go. Quicker this way, Choso. Anyways, don’t mind us.” Satoru insists, waiting for the pair to be distracted with their job before he truly moves to the back, behind a set of curtains.
“You really didn’t have to bring me all the way over here. I could have waited it out.” You say softly, not wanting to disturb the peace of the lifeguard tower as the white-haired male carefully sets you down on the mattress of the medical bed, allowing your legs to dangle off the side. Satoru whips the curtain further shut to give you both privacy, looking down at you as he reveals a slight crooked grin. “Can you just let me pretend to do my job so I can have you to myself?” He teases and automatically, your thighs begin to clench together as you feel a stir of excitement within you. “That and I’d rather actually ease the pain of the sting. It’d be quicker here than out there. Didn’t you want to get out of the sun?” He reminds, plopping his ass down onto the stool as he rolls over to the counter.
Maybe it’s because of his own flirtatious ways that you find a side of you awakening. That must be it for your words. “Well, I definitely wanted to get out of the sun with you, mister lifeguard.” You say so sweetly, your eyes lingering on the tiny red shorts that just tighten further around his toned legs. Satoru feels a boost to his own ego at your shy words, setting a bucket under the tap before adjusting for hot water, looking your way. “A princess with a sweet tongue. What a weakness of mine. Let’s focus on the sting for a moment.” He says, soon lifting the bucket out of the sink, and grabbing a spray bottle full of vinegar before setting them down. “Various remedies, different strokes for different folks. They all work, usually. It’s a relief we don’t live in an area with dangerous types. Otherwise, I’d be running to the hospital with you in my arms. What would you prefer to try to soothe the pain?” He asks, hands rubbing along his toned thighs.
Truth be told, you could barely focus on his words of wisdom. You’re far too distracted by his pretty hands against his thighs. “The hot water..” You manage to respond and Satoru simply smiles, noticing how distracted you appear to be. “Or you could just look at my pretty face as a distraction until the pain is gone. That might take longer.” He teases and you couldn’t help but whine, playfully kicking in his direction. “Stooooop, you’re making me flustered.” You whisper, not wanting the other lifeguards to hear as your walls quickly come down in Satoru’s presence. It already feels like you’ve known him for so long. He chuckles, bringing the bucket of hot water closer as he sets it between you and himself before gesturing for you to scoot to the edge of the bed. The white-haired male bends down, tenderly taking hold of your ankle before guiding your foot into the hot water. It’s big enough so the water completely covers up the throbbing sting area and you hiss gently from the heat.
Your fingers grip the edge of the thin mattress, breathing in deeply. It’s slow but, the sting is starting to subside already, causing your body to relax with relief. Satoru’s large hand rests against your bare thigh, giving a gentle squeeze and nails scraping along your soft skin. “You think this method is good enough for you?” His voice is soft, as if he wants his co-workers not to disturb him, his thumb rubbing in a circular motion against your flesh. You feel like your gut is twisting from the lifeguard’s touch, gaze fixated on his bare abdomen on display for only your eyes to see. “Yeah..” You breathe out softly, making sure to keep your foot in the bucket of hot water and your eyes already becoming droopy. His touch feels so good... You wonder what else his hands could do.
You snap out of your thoughts when he pulls away, standing up from the stool and before he can move away, two of your fingers suddenly hook beneath the elastic of his lifeguard shorts, preventing him from moving. “Oh? Attached to me already, are you? Don’t worry, princess. I’m just going over there.” He teases as he jabs his thumb in the direction of the counter. Flustered, you quickly let go and look away. He bites back an amused smile, setting the spray bottle filled with vinegar back on the counter before he begins to look through the drawers. Your eyes automatically look his way to watch his movements, wondering what he’s looking for. “You’re not going back out, are you? It— It just hurts a lot, I’m afraid something might happen to me if no one’s around.” You ramble, cringing at your own obvious lies.
Satoru snorts gently, picking up a tube of cream and smacks it lightly against his hand as he makes his way back to the stool, ever so casually. “Now after hearing that, I can’t dare leave the princess all alone, even though there are lifeguards on the other side of the curtain, can I?” He sits back down, rolling close enough to stretch out his arms until both of his hands are on either side of you, trapping you within. You couldn’t even look him in the eye; finding that his piercing blue orbs are impossible to not drown in. “I wasn’t planning to leave, it’s near the end of my shift. I’ll stay with you.” Satoru reassures, playfully tapping the tube of cream against your thigh, his gaze obvious and hot against your figure. “How’s the leg?” He asks.
You slide your leg out of the bucket of water and look down. It’s not stinging as much and you can see the bumpy lines of where the tentacles touched you. “It doesn’t hurt as much.” You say and Satoru reaches over to grab a towel, placing it across his lap and pats it. You couldn’t help but smile before lifting your leg until you rested it against him. Carefully, he pats your leg dry before grabbing the tube of cream. “This will help further. May I?” He asks, already squirting the cream onto the tips of his long fingers, confident to hear you give permission. Although fixated on the length of his fingers, you manage to nod your head and he smears it gently across the inflamed area. He’s careful as he massages it in with his fingers and you continue to watch, feeling a little breathless. Even the numbing pain that is starting to subside couldn’t distract you from focusing on the gorgeous lifeguard.
Satoru tilts his head down to prevent you from seeing his amused smirk as his ears manage to pick up the softest whine that escapes you from his touch. He’s a little selfish in the fact that his other hand joins in to tenderly massage your leg. If anyone asks why he’s taking so long; it really is for your benefit. He does care that you got stung, after all. It’s not pleasant. “Are you going home after this? If not, it might be best to bandage it just to keep it covered for now.” Satoru says, wiping his hands dry against the sides of his red shorts. You pause when you hear the question. All of your belongings are still back with your friends and they probably expect you to return before going home at least but… something else was on your mind.
You bite down on your lip, courage flowing through your veins as your foot on his lap presses down against his toned thigh, daringly close to a particularly sensitive area for a man. You watch as a white eyebrow arches and he peeks at you beneath his circular shades. “When exactly does your shift end?” You ask quietly, glancing towards the closed curtain. Satoru sighs out softly, closing his eyes for a moment as he focuses on the pressure of your foot. You’re not going straight home, it seems. He tugs his phone out to inspect the time, leaning over to hastily snatch up the roll of bandages before tucking his phone away. “In about ten. Why? Do you want me all to yourself?” He teases, thumb pressing the bandage against your leg to hold it in place as he begins to wind it around, eyes never leaving your face.
“Surely there are some secluded areas on the beach that you work on. That must be pretty and fun to be alone with a girl..” You say, unable to stop the sheepish giggle from escaping your lips. Since when could you be so bold? He ties a firm knot before nudging your foot off of his lap to roll his stool closer. He’s tall enough even when he’s sitting and you are on a higher surface, that he’s face to face with you. The lifeguard is so close that you can feel his warm breath fan against your lips. Fuck. You clench your thighs together as best as you can without being so obvious. You should have worn black if you knew there would be a ridiculously hot lifeguard on the scene because you just know there’s a damp patch forming on the bright red fabric of your bikini.
“I can think of a few areas, perhaps. Promise me that you’ll be all mine as I show you around? I mean, if someone disturbs us… I won’t be stopping.” He warns, voice deep and smooth. The words send shivers up your spine and you lean in to playfully bump your nose against his. “Wouldn’t want you to stop, Satoru. I mean, it’s the least I can do for the lifeguard who saved me from a jellyfish sting.” You tease sweetly, fingers ghosting along his toned bicep. He curses beneath his breath, bending down until his forehead meets your bare shoulder. He’s impatient. If it was up to him, the white-haired male would already be bending you over the edge of the medical bed and fucking you in front of his co-workers. Still, it will be exciting to have some fun on a beach where anyone could walk by.
“Such an honour to treat the princess. Now, to waste time—“ He pauses, pulling away as he stands up and walks out from behind the curtain. You automatically pout at him leaving you, gripping the edge of the bed as you wait. Satoru snatches the large bottle of sunscreen from the front of Nanami and Choso, offering a wide grin. Nanami holds his hand up to stop Satoru from speaking. “I don’t want to know.” Nanami says before crossing his arms and continuing to watch. The white-haired male rolls his eyes, grumbling to himself before he returns to you from behind the curtain and sighs. “Do me a favour? I can’t reach anywhere.” Satoru says, placing the sunscreen next to you and you couldn’t help but grin a little. He’s too cute in a way.
You jump to your feet with eagerness, ignoring the dull ache that lingers beneath the bandage and squirt a generous amount of the white liquid into the palm of your hand, oblivious to Satoru’s intense gaze. He’s staring at you, eyes clouded with a mixture of endearment and hot desire. Satoru isn’t feeling attached. Not like that. At least, not yet. Surely any guy would find it difficult to not be endeared by your cute actions, especially when you seem so eager to please him with such a simple task. You grimace a little as it threatens to drip over the side of your hand and approach the tall male, offering him a sickly sweet smile. “Come here, please.” You say and you both meet each other in the middle of the small medic area, chest to chest.
With cheeks feeling hot, you step back slightly before slapping your hand against his firm chest and he grunts a little, lips parting to tease you about not being sexy enough; only to choke on his own saliva. His piercing blue eyes are intense with the gaze, staring down at both of your hands that are now against his toned chest and starting to smear the sunscreen, nice and slow. Your hands seem so much smaller compared to his and just that alone enough is driving his mind wild from the size difference; filthy images of you being practically bent in half before him. Flexible or not, Satoru knows he’d manhandle you into the position he craves.
You could feel his chest rising and falling beneath your hands, biting down on your lip as you began to allow your hands to explore further south, fingers tracing along the beautifully defined muscle lines of his abdomen. You could feel how rock solid and hot he feels from living beneath the sun as a career, hands eager to rub in the sunscreen. You wouldn’t want him to get burned by the sun after all. What kind of princess would let their ‘hero’ suffer like that? No. It’s your job to please him in every way possible, just like you want to. Your fingertips trace along the v-line that travels further down and to an area you shouldn’t reach. Except, you dip your fingers just beneath the elastic and look up into his blue eyes.
“I just have a feeling your upper thighs might get exposed to the sunlight later. Best to be careful. Right?” You hum, tilting your head slightly as you spread the last of the sunscreen along his upper thighs, daring to glide close to the middle but, not far enough. Satoru merely grunts in response, eyes now looking upwards and you could practically see him beg himself to stay in control and not snap. It’s so hard to do that. Another hard thing happens to be his cock. He can feel himself hardening as you tease him further, length straining against the already tight boardshorts. You look down, lips parting in awe to see the outline of how thick and long he is. Is that even humanly possible? You’ve been with guys before but, they were never built like this.
In silent admiration over his giant length straining, your nails graze along the top of his thighs before you slip your hands out. You inspect the upper body area to see the light glisten of sunscreen before you pump some more into your hands and carefully, lower yourself onto your knees. The curtain isn’t long enough that it reaches the floor. If Satoru’s lifeguards look back for even a second, they’d be able to see the glimpse of you kneeling on the ground, looking like you’re doing something so sinful behind the curtains. Satoru notices it instantly and that alone is enough to cause him to sigh heavily and drag his fingers through his white hair. “Y/N, cheeky little girl..” He breathes out as you begin to rub the sunscreen into his legs. You look up to see his crystal blue eyes admiring the sight of you kneeling before him and you merely smile in response.
“I want to cover every inch of you so you’re safe from the sun, that’s all. Although… I won’t smother your cock in sunscreen. I’ll protect that part of you with my, hm.. mouth? Pussy? The sun won’t get you there.” You say soft enough for only Satoru to hear and his hand now travels to cover his mouth in almost disbelief from your filthy words. He’d even say he was close to feeling flustered for the first time in his life; never expecting the timid girl who insisted she’d be okay to suddenly have skyrocketing confidence that only riles him up further. He looks at the time of his watch and curses. You really are taking your sweet time to caress every part of his body and teasing him with scratches from your nails and gentle squeezes. He needs to get you out of here.
“Sweetheart, with all due respect— Please hurry up so I can fucking get you out of here.” Satoru says, fingers gliding through your hair to grip on, pulling nice and slow so you could feel the tugging pain on each strand. Fuck. The aching pain floods you with excitement and desperation to obey his words and so you hastily get to your feet, leaning up on your toes to ghost your lips across his. A near kiss. “Sorry, I just love to worship.” You say, giggling as he leans forward to try and complete the kiss. He rolls his eyes, though the corners of his lips twitch and he turns around. With haste, you squirt the last amount of sunscreen to lather across his broad back, admiring his wide shoulders and the movements of his muscles as you rub in the white liquid down along the length of his body before pulling away. “All done! How did I do?” You ask, grinning.
He turns around, almost melting at the sight of you and takes hold of your smaller hand with his much bigger one. “Perfect— My good girl. Please tell me you’re still good to go protection-wise.” He says, eager to leave. You couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t long ago when you applied sunscreen and so with your free hand, you give him the thumbs up. The lifeguard sighs with relief before he begins to pull you out from behind the curtain, reaching for his backpack with his spare hand to swing over his shoulder. “Alright, I’m off to fuck— I mean off the clock and going home.” Satoru jokes and you feel yourself flush with heat. Even knowing this man for just over an hour and you’re not really surprised by his crude behaviour with his co-workers. Still, it leaves you flustered. Satoru merely grins at his co-workers who roll their eyes before he pulls you out of the open doorway, nudging his sandals close to your feet. Your heart flutters and you slide your feet into them, noticing how big they are on your feet.
“I can’t believe you just said that.” You whine softly and Satoru guides you down the steps carefully, not wanting you to trip over. He simply chuckles, shoulders shrugging. “Not ashamed and I’m a proud man when I get what I want.” Satoru says, feet meeting the sand. You playfully bump your head against his shoulder, fingers lacing with his. “What about your feet? Aren’t they hot?” You ask with a small pout and instantly, Satoru’s heart clenches at the sight. “Used to it and would prefer your feet protected— Come on, my dick is dying.” He says, gently tugging you along. You would have scolded him for his bluntness if it wasn’t holding some truth for yourself. You, yourself, felt like you were dying from not already being stuffed full of his throbbing length as he pounds into oblivion, claiming you on the beach that you’re sharing with hundreds of others.
Satoru is eagerly pulling you along the beach, glancing every so often to make sure you’re not struggling; whether with his large shoes or the jellyfish sting but, it seems you were just as eager for the crowd to start thinning out as you walk horizontally along with the ocean. Both of your hearts are pounding with excitement, too deep in focus to hold a conversation. That can happen later. You’re still facing a bit of disbelief. How can a ridiculously attractive man, who basically pours out godly energy; want you? After just an hour or so. It’s dangerous realistically speaking and yet, you’re desperate to have him. To please the lifeguard with your own two hands and mouth. Even more.
Satoru continues to drag you along, shades covering his eyes as he glances across the beach. You’ve both been walking for so long now that it’s not part of the popular tourist spot on the beach. People rarely come down this way because he and other lifeguards express that the waters can become dangerous and it’s preferred to situate yourselves within the flags. It’s been about five minutes since he saw the last person lounging on the sand and frankly, he’s had enough. Why walk a further ten minutes just to be extra careful? No one’s around. Even if someone did appear, it’s not going to stop him from touching you. Truth be told, Satoru loves the thrill of being caught and showing off what belongs to him. Even if only temporary.
He finally comes to a stop and you’re panting softly; a mixture of excitement and tiredness from walking beneath the hot sun that is only just now beginning to set. Slowly. White strands of hair fall over his eyes as he looks down at you, unable to stop himself from cooing at the cute sight of you clinging onto his hand, looking like a lost little lamb for the taking. “Sweet girl, I think this is far enough. Here—“ He pauses, tightening his hold on you as he moves up towards the tall cliffs that provide shade. You feel like your cheeks doubled in heat from his words, following him until he suddenly twirls you around and you stumble towards the face of the cliff.
His large hand presses against your lower back, preventing you from making a rough impact on the rock surface. It’s rather smoothed out, not too painful to lean your back against and you look up at him. His free hand presses against the cliff beside your face, easily towering above you. He pushes the sunglasses up until they sit comfortably on top of his head, strands of hair pushed back to expose his forehead. Already, loose strands begin to fall back down, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is you. He drops his backpack to the side. “The ocean years ago used to reach up to the cliff, slowly washed away the roughness. Perfect to pin you up against, don’t you think?” Satoru says, deep voice sounding almost like magic with the gentle waves in the background.
Your heart is hammering, feeling the slightly jagged rocks against your bare back, but he’s right. It’s the only perfect surface in such an outdoor space. Frankly, you don’t care. You don’t even care anymore about being out in the open. You were nervous before, but all you see is Satoru. Your fingers ghost up along his bare arms before you snake your arms around his neck, leaning up onto the tip of your toes. He bends down so his lips are over yours. “Hurry up and fuck me.” You whisper, soon feeling his soft tiers crashing against yours. Satoru with patience completely out the window; kisses you with fierce passion. He feels fucking starved when it comes to you. The lifeguard noticed you and your friends the moment you set up beneath the umbrella and he struggled to do his job when he was just watching you so intently. Finding every little thing about you to be sweet and cute. Irresistible, even. First time meeting, who the fuck cares. He’s going to have you.
You feel breathless already as he devours you with such ease. Satoru’s lips move slowly against yours, tilting his head to deepen the kiss and you whimper softly, one hand coming to rest against his bare chest. His skin felt so hot despite being in the shade and you could feel his heart racing. It’s somewhat comforting to know that his heart races with excitement like yours. You gasp softly as his tongue glides smoothly across your bottom lip. “Open wide, princess.” He mumbles into the kiss and as you oblige so quickly, his tongue slides into your wet cavern, eager to explore every inch of it, pressing your body against the cliff face as his own much bigger form pins you against it. Needy whines are muffled by his lips as his tongue teasingly rubs against yours. Satoru slides his large hand down the length of your back before boldly cupping your ass cheek to give a harsh squeeze.
“Ah, ‘toru..” You pant out softly, feeling both of his hands now groping your bare ass cheeks, fingertips pressing so deeply into your flesh that you feel a sweet ache. The flimsy fabric of your bikini bottom rides between your cheeks as he fondles roughly, saliva smearing across your cheek as his lips leave yours to kiss along your jaw, panting softly. “Could see your ass a mile away before, found it so fucking cute. Knew I wanted you then.” He groans softly against your ear, coaxing the butterflies in your stomach to flutter wildly and prompt you to dig your nails gently into his skin. You can feel his tongue dancing across your warm flesh, teeth nibbling before he bites down harshly on the side of your neck, sucking firmly.
You whimper from the dull throb that spreads from the spot and Satoru presses a kiss to the abused area before he pulls back to gaze down at you, eyes swirling with deep lust. “Satoru, please... You’re making me feel so—“ You bite down on your lip and look to the side, somewhat flustered. He merely smirks, cupping the side of your neck and leans to the other side to give his sweet attention. “What is it, pretty girl? Needy? Fucking wet for me? Shall I see for myself?” He says, one hand toying with the tied-up bow. One tug and it’d slip down. His teasing almost frustrates you, already wishing to feel more as his lips scatter kisses across your neck and down to the valley of your breasts. The bikini top did a pathetic job of covering your boobs.
“You’re such a tease.” You exhale softly, glancing at your surroundings. No one is around, still. He grins playfully at your words, one hand lifting from your behind for only a moment before he smacks your cheek firmly, causing you to yelp and press up against him. You feel the sweet sting spread across your ass cheek that jiggles from impact and he swats again before the tingle. Again and again, Satoru spanks your ass, alternating cheeks until he grips the throbbing flesh and drags his nails harshly along the burning skin. You’re whimpering against his chest, hopelessly holding onto him as he lands each spank with such precision, breasts pressing against him. “Fucking delicious.” He sighs out heavily, feeling the heat from the harsh spanks radiate off of your skin.
You’re biting down on your lip harshly as if that could stop the lewd sounds that slip from your lips as his palms soothingly massage the painful sting. With tears already in your eyes, you discovered how much you love pain to be inflicted on you by his hands alone. It sent waves down to your very core. “Sadist..” You mumble playfully as your hand snakes down his abdomen until your fingers once more dip beneath the elastic of his shorts. “Maybe I am, I don’t see you having a problem with it.” He whispers against your ear, hands pausing against your behind. “Baby~. We’re all alone. Stop being so sneaky. Just say you want to see how big I am.” He says smugly and you would have rolled your eyes if his words didn’t hold the truth.
You look down between you both as Satoru’s long fingers hook beneath his boardshorts, tugging them down to the middle of his thighs and your jaw drops at the sight of his hardened cock springing out from the tight confinements of his shorts, throbbing deliciously before your very eyes. He’s big. Beyond big. Long in length and the girth is so thick, you wonder if it’d even fit comfortably inside. Your gaze fixates on the protruding veins that line up along his length, saliva threatening to dribble out at the glorious sight of his dick. No wonder he’s so cocky. “You’re so hot—“ You blurt out before cupping the back of his neck to pull him down for another feverish kiss, your other hand coming down towards his exposed length. He’s all smug as he responds to the kiss, heart swelling with pride and lips curled to form a smile against your lips. He’s a sucker for praise. Satoru couldn’t deny that.
He grunts in response as your fingers wrap around the base of his cock, the tips barely able to touch together. It feels so warm and heavy against your palm and you couldn’t help but think it’s somewhat comforting in a way, as you begin to stroke nice and slowly. Satoru moves to hunch over but your hand presses against his shoulder for the moment, bending low enough so you could dribble out saliva until it drips down onto your stroking hand and Satoru’s hand comes up to tug on his own hair, knocking his sunglasses off his head. He didn’t care. All he could focus on was the snug tightness of your hand as it smears the saliva across each inch of his cock. “So thick..” You whisper and he can barely catch your words as the waves crash against the shore behind him, feeling completely wrapped up in the pleasure that pulses through him as you continue to pump your fist, not daring to relent in the steady pace you set.
You couldn’t help but bite back a giddy smile at the sight of the lifeguard already completely blissed out, using your thumb to drag along the leaking tip, trailing the pre-cum along the side of his length. Your wrist flicks gently with each movement, fingertips gliding across his balls teasingly each time your hand reaches the base. He’s panting heavily against your ear, his large hands soothingly rubbing along your signs, occasionally toying with the strings of your bikini. “You’re already feeling so good just from my hand, Satoru… Just imagine what it’d be like with my needy cunt. Mouth, too.” You give the base of his throbbing cock a squeeze as your lips brush against his, making them glisten with saliva before you start to lower yourself onto your knees before the tall lifeguard, long lashes fluttering as you gaze up at him.
His eyes appear even more alive, almost manic as he grins at the sight of you on your knees. You feel them sink into the sand as you lean to happily press your face against the underside of his cock. “Fucking hell..” Satoru mumbles in awe at the heavenly sight of his twitching cock resting against your face. “Bigger than my face, I bet you’re not surprised.” You mumble, lips rubbing gently against his length before you press your tongue flat against it and travel upwards, dragging it along the protruding vein before you reach his leaking tip. His eyes glaze over with the pleasure that washes over him, barely able to focus as your tongue playfully laps at the head of his length, gathering the pre-cum to happily swallow before your wet muscle swirls around the bulbous tip. He tastes so fucking good already, weighing heavy against your tongue alone.
You feel his long fingers gently grip your hair as you continue to just tease, licking along the sides so eagerly as if his cock was your own personal ice cream, pressing sloppy kisses as your hand squeezes the base. “Y/N.” He warns with his grip tightening on your hair, prompting you to whimper. Quickly, you obey his silent order. You wouldn’t dare defy the white-haired lifeguard. No matter how greedy he becomes, you’d give all of yourself to him. Your glistening lips wrap around the bulbous tip, gently suckling on it. It’s hard to smile at the sound of his pleased sigh, watching as he tilts his head back. You didn’t dare look away, sliding your mouth up and down the first few inches of his thick cock, already finding your jaw aching slightly from how wide you had to keep your mouth open.
Satoru is already blissed out. To think that he thought today would be any other day of typical lifeguard duties. Truth be told, he thought he’d have to deal with lost children or carrying citizens on his board to the safety of the shore. He definitely did not expect to watch you for most of his shift and have his mind pump full of filthy fantasies. What’s even more surprising is the mutual attraction and how neither of you cared to do the typical waiting until touching each other. You both yearned for one another since eye contact. Good for him, he thinks. Satoru thinks he deserves a pretty girl on her knees, sucking his big cock. What he couldn’t wait for is to have his own mouth between your legs, desperate to taste you. Satoru is— Well. A lover of eating out, let’s just say.
“Fuuuuck, princess—“ He grunts out as you continue to bob your mouth at a steady pace, the obnoxious slurping up the saliva that threatens to spill not being covered by the waves of the ocean. The day was starting to calm down weather-wise, ready to embrace the evening. You whine, prompting gentle vibrations along his cock and a string of curses to leave his swollen lips, gaze darkening as he looks down at you. You manage to take another inch or two as you slide your lips further down, stretching around the girth. The tip brushed against the back of your throat and you automatically gag, muffled by his throbbing length. “Good girl, look at you. Taking my cock so fucking well.” Satoru pants and with a brief warning by pulling on your hair, he presses firmly against the back of your head. “Take it.” He orders, voice low and breathless.
Your eyes widen as you feel the pressure against the back of your head and you’re unable to reject it from how strong he’s pushing. Not that you even wanted to. You’re an absolute whore when it comes to pleasing the lifeguard. Already, wrapped around his little finger and ready to do as he says. You feel his length slide along your inner cheeks, keeping your jaw as relaxed as you can as he pushes in until the tip of his length pushes past the point of gagging and your throat completely sheaths his cock, leaving the sight of your throat bulging for no one to see but Satoru.
You’re desperately swallowing around his thick cock, drool seeping out from the corners of your lips as you look up at him. You have to breathe heavily through your nose just to have access to oxygen. Satoru closes his eyes for a moment, enjoying the pretty sounds of you choking on his cock as the insides of your mouth and throat keep his length feeling snug and warm; his length is surrounded with pleasure that surges up through him. He glances down at you and smirks. You look rather pathetic in an adorable way, squirming against the sand, eyes wide and pretty tears threatening to spill from the rough deep-throating.
Feeling playful, Satoru uses his free hand to pinch your nose, blocking the only access you had for breathing. Your face scrunches up a little, whimpering moans muffled by his length still stuffed down your throat. “You look so cute, princess. Struggling to get air. Shall I give you CPR?” He jokes, tightening his pinch and your head begins to throb from the lack of oxygen you so eagerly need. He’s not a complete asshole, nor entirely selfish and so, he lets go of your nose and begins to guide your mouth along his cock. You inhale deeply through your nose when you have the chance, feeling so light-headed as oxygen rushes back. “Just a bit longer.” He grunts out as his closed fist on your hair moves so your mouth slides up and down his length, faster than your pace before.
Helplessly, your hands grip his toned thighs, just above the signature red shorts as your lips stay stretched around his length, heart racing with joy to be used like this by the lifeguard. The white-haired male makes sure you take every inch until you’re at the base of his cock, the nose often momentarily pressing against his lower stomach. “Just like that, fuck— So good..” He pants, his throbbing cock enjoying the wet pleasure of your mouth, tongue rubbing along the underside. His stomach begins to feel hot and tight, the urge to climax growing and so, refusing to let himself cum before you do; he slides your mouth off completely until there’s an audible pop, followed by a sharp gasp as you breathe in the generous amount of air that was briefly stolen from you.
You break the string of saliva that connected your lips to his cock as you pant heavily, unable to stop your lips from forming a wide grin at the sight of him, giddy that you got to please him so well with just your mouth. “You like it rough, huh?” You manage to rasp out and Satoru lets out a sheepish chuckle, his hand coming down to pet you on the head, hand stroking along your hair. “Honestly, Y/N. I think I’m going to enjoy any kind of way when it’s you. Rough or gentle. Now, c’mere.” He says, taking hold of your hand to tug you up with ease.
You stumble forward, feet sinking in the soft sand and the white-haired lifeguard gently takes hold of your arms to stabilise you, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lips. Completely different to how he treated you when your lips were wrapped around his length. Maybe he’s eager to show you that he does have both sides and it makes your heart feel like it’s swimming in shimmering gold. He’s perfect, you couldn’t help but think. You smile against his lips and he’s holding you so tight against him that you feel his cock cushioning between your bodies and your breasts pressing against his chest. He reluctantly pulls away, gaze clouded as he looks down at you. “My turn. I’ve been waiting for this. Especially when I first saw you in your cute bikini..” He trails off, hands snaking up to tease the fabric that barely covers your chest. “So cute..” He murmurs before tugging until the triangle fabric is pulled away and your breasts spill out, free from the flimsy confinement.
“Oh shit.” He blurts out in awe at the sight of your breasts as his large hands come up to cup the squishy flesh and give a gentle squeeze. You feel flustered and look away as a soft whimper escapes from feeling his touch, your face feeling hot. “I love your boobs, so damn pretty..” He murmurs, looking like he’s in some sort of wonderland just from being able to massage your breasts, nice and slow. His thumbs tease your hardened buds, grinning at the sound of your needy whines. You tilt your head up to look at the face of the cliff, briefly wondering how a man’s touch to your breasts could already leave you feeling a sweet daze. Satoru pinches the hardened buds, giving a teasing tug before he leans forward to kiss along your neck, staying bent over you as he does so. His body is close enough for his twitching cock to still stay pressed against you and your wrap your arms around his form to cling onto him for the moment.
“I only met you like two hours ago and I’m already this addicted to you..” You confess through a whisper and if only you knew how the words just boost his ego up high, smiling smugly against your neck. “Mm, maybe we’re just a perfect match. I can feed your addiction and you can feed mine.” Satoru says, tongue trailing down the valley of your breasts. You smile at his words and look off to see— Oh god. A couple is walking along the beach. “S-Satoru! People are approaching.” You squeak out, almost horrified if it wasn’t for the excitement of being caught flooding through you. What would Satoru do? Would he not be ashamed and keep touching you?
“Don’t care.” He mutters, hands pressing your breasts together as he presses sloppy kisses to the soft mounds before he pulls away with an annoyed sigh. “Come here, baby.” The lifeguard says as he glances down at his exposed cock that continues to throb before towards the couple that doesn’t appear like dots in the distance anymore. “Usually I’d shamelessly give them a show but you’re all mine for the evening.” He huffs childishly before his arms suddenly wrap around your head to pull you in. His bigger form presses you up against the cliff face, one hand on the back of your head to act as a cushion. Your eyes widen at the sudden action, almost going cross-eyed as you stare at his muscular chest. Satoru tugs his board shorts up to cover his ass as he keeps you in a tight embrace.
The couple slowly walk along the beach, enjoying the cool breeze and warm sun. They notice the pair of you hiding in the shade of the cliff, looking curiously. Satoru exaggerates a kiss to the top of your head and his hand soothingly rubbing along your back. “Baby, there there. No need to cry. I swear I didn’t take the girl’s number. Not a single one offered to me. You’re the only one I want to date. The only one I want to cherish.” He says, loud enough for the curious couple to hear and they look at you two with smiles, pleased to see another couple being all lovey-dovey. “He must be a lifeguard— Oh how sweet, such a green flag for comforting his girlfriend.” The girl says and the boyfriend merely nods, dragging her along the sand.
You know he’s just pretending and yet, you do find your heart melting a little at the idea of being comforted by Satoru during difficult times. You actually wonder what he’d be like as a genuine partner. You briefly nuzzle your face against his warm chest and fake out loud sobs to fit the act of an upset girlfriend, tightening your arms around him. Satoru continues to watch before he finally loosens his hold. “Good girl, played your part well. For that, I must reward you.” He says lightheartedly and you giggle softly at his words, heart racing from the thrill of nearly being caught. How exhilarating. His lips twist into a smirk, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips, whispering. “My turn.”
Your back rests lightly against the cliff as you watch out of curiosity as Satoru drops down to his knees and digs into the sand and at the height of your stomach, he presses kisses, scattering them across your soft skin. “Fucking perfect.” He mumbles, hands ghosting up your legs to toy with the strings of your bikini. At this point, he doesn’t care if the couple decides to walk back. The act is over and he’s ready to devour. No one was going to interrupt what he was really looking forward to. “Spread your legs.” He orders and you timidly shuffle your legs out so they spread slightly, biting down on your lower lip. Satoru lets out a low whistle at the sight of the large damp patch across the red fabric, extending out a finger to gently glide across the bikini, between your folds and you clasp a hand over your mouth to muffle your whimper, already sensitive by his touch.
“To think that I have such power over you, princess. So sensitive, already.” He teases, continuing to rub his finger lightly between your folds, pressing the fabric up between them. Your legs tremble a little when the fabric makes contact with your clit, whining. “Stop teasing, you know how needy I am..” You plead quietly and Satoru’s heart squeezes tight from how cute you are. Fuck. How is he ever going to deny you and frustrate you further? “Alright, since it’s our first time.” He sighs dramatically, fingers swiftly untying the bows that were sitting on your hips.
Your pussy is completely exposed, on display for anyone on the beach, but thankfully it’s just Satoru. He hastily tucks the small bit of fabric into one of his pockets, eyes refusing to leave sight of your cunt that’s already starting to drip and smear your inner thighs with your own slick. One hand tries to shyly cover yourself up, flustered by his gaze. Satoru arches an eyebrow as he looks up at you with his piercing blue eyes. “And what do you think you’re doing?” His long fingers wrap around your wrist and force your hand out of the way, tongue slowly dragging along his lips. He’s eager to finally have a taste, except there’s an issue.
He’s too tall. Satoru could bend down further, maybe even lay down and just force you to sit on his face— that does sound like a hot idea, but another idea comes to mind that prompts a small grin to appear across his handsome visage. “Alright, princess. Time to trust me.” He says simply, guiding your hand to rest on top of his head. You innocently tilt your head and look down at the lifeguard with confusion, cunt still exposed and ready for more. You could feel your hole clench with the desire to be filled to the brim. Still, you know better already and that’s to not rush Satoru. Your fingers slide through his silky white hair, heart racing with anticipation as his strong hand now caresses down your legs, squeezing your flesh. “What are you doing…” You ask shyly, watching as he moves your leg over his bare shoulder.
“Use your other hand against the cliff.” He simply replies and despite being puzzled, you raise your free hand above until it presses against the cliff, gripping onto one of the soft jagged rocks. Oh— Oh! Your eyes widen with a mixture of horror and amazement as Satoru swiftly lifts your other leg to rest over his shoulder and he begins to move up, slow and careful as you feel yourself rise to a height you’ve never been at until you find yourself pressed against the cliff, legs over the lifeguard’s shoulders and his strength is forceful enough to keep you positioned comfortably above him.
Satoru now has you in a spot that he deems perfect; face directly in front of your sopping-wet womanhood. You’re in a higher position now, completely stunned by his idea to hold you on his shoulders. His arms wrap around the area of your thighs that aren’t over his shoulders to help keep you stable against the cliff face, nails digging into the flesh. He glances up at you and chuckles at how flustered you look. “Relax, I’m strong. You have two heavenly sights to look at now. The ocean and me.” Satoru says, breath fanning against your pussy and you bring your hand that was pressing against the cliff to his head, both now gripping onto his hair. You trust the lifeguard enough to know that he wouldn’t drop you, nor press you too roughly against the face of the cliff. The perfect balance.
His crystal blue eyes stay fixated, almost going cross-eyed from how close your cunt is to his face and he swears he could start to feel the threat of saliva wanting to dribble out. Your womanhood is even more irresistible up close. Instead, he shifts his hand closer to your womanhood, arm still wrapped snug around your thigh and slides his fingers along your folds before parting them, glancing up at you as your legs quiver against his broad shoulders. “So sensitive.” He mocks lightly, gathering the saliva that gathered in his mouth before he spits directly against your clit, grinning at the sight of his own glob of saliva dribbling down between your slick-covered folds. You tighten your grip on his hair and whimper his name softly. You’ve never met a man so eager to eat you out. Hell, a man who just seems to want to take his time. Even out in the open, with absolutely anyone to walk by and the wind bringing the scent of the ocean towards you both. This lifeguard is definitely something and whatever that ‘something’ is; you want it all to yourself.
Satoru watches with interest as the glob of saliva continues to dribble downwards before he decides to dive his face forward and drag his tongue flat and slow across your pussy, flicking the tip against your throbbing clit. He merely laughs at the sound of your surprised squeal before he repeats the action, still in his sweet teasing move and so naturally, he refuses to pick up the pace. The lifeguard happily laps up your sweet juice with a soft groan, nuzzling his face forward until his nose rubs lightly against the bundle of nerves and you could feel pleasure surging up through you, leaving you feeling hot and your nails drag along his scalp as your lips fall open in near disbelief of how good everything feels.
He manages to peek up at you, lips twisting to form an amused smirk and frankly, there’s a huge boost in his ego just from your reactions alone. The light burn of your nails scratching his scalp causes him to moan your name as his tongue covered in your slick, travels up to swirl around your clit teasingly, pressing the wet muscle against it, feeling it throb. You taste fucking perfect to him. So sweet and clearly easily aroused from how much slick your pussy seems to produce, but it didn’t stop him.
Satoru is relentless when it comes to eating you out. His face stays pressed firmly between your quivering thighs, the tip of his tongue flicking and swirling around your clit before he leans in to press sloppy kisses to the sensitive area. You feel hot in the face just from the obnoxious slurping sounds but his firm hold on your thighs prevents you from closing them. You sit there, body trembling and muscles tensing as you take it all in. “Ah— ‘Toru, feels so—“ Your own words were cut off by a whine as his fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs and he presses in, pressing a kiss to your clit before his tongue slides along your folds. He continues to balance you on his shoulders, using one arm to hoist you up a little so his tongue can make contact with your entrance, chuckling at the sound of your breathless moans spilling out of your lips.
“You taste so good. Best I’ve ever tasted, princess. How am I to not have you whenever I want? Doesn’t seem fair to me.” Satoru says, tongue clicking in feigning disappointment before he prods along your tight entrance. This time, he allows your thighs to clench to the sides of his face as you whimper. “Have me whenever you want.” You slur out, body feeling so tingly and hot as his tongue prods gently against your entrance. It’s hot to witness you fall apart just from his mouth and leaves his heart pumping with excitement at the thought of you falling apart when he finally gives you what you both desperately crave; his cock. Still, Satoru is a fan of riling you up and taking his sweet time. Even with his cock aching in pain from still being hard with no pleasant contact of your mouth like before.
The lower half of his face is dripping with your mess, unwrapping one of his arms slow and cautious from around your thigh and tightening his hold on the other. You whine in question and he only gently shushes you, hand creeping up in front of his body before the long fingers meet your pussy properly this time. If it wasn’t Satoru that you already find that you deeply trust; you just know you’d throw a fit if some other tried to lift you up and keep you in this rather dangerous position. With a glimmer of concern, all you had to do was look at his ridiculously hot muscles to know that he was not going to drop you any time soon. His fingers keep your slick-covered folds spread wide, briefly flashing you a grin with your juices dripping from his face before he moves in to caress your hole.
You strangle on a moan as you feel the wet muscle push past your entrance, slowly licking on just the inside of your tight heat, tongue rubbing against your warm velvety walls that clench around it. With this angle, Satoru’s nose nudges against your clit as he moves his head forward to lick nice and slow within you. It’s impossible to not squirm with how sensitive you are; bare back rubbing cautiously against the face of the cliff and feeling his hold on you tightening in warning to not move so much. “It’s hard... You make me feel so hot and tingly.” You whine your complaint and Satoru merely snorts against your cunt as his tongue teasingly pumps in and out and despite having a very long tongue, he could only reach so far.
Your clouded gaze briefly scans the sand of the beach to see not a single person in sight as the white-haired lifeguard continues his teasing in an unforgiving manner. No rest to your needy pussy that continues to drip mess on his eager face. “So fucking sweet..” He sighs out happily, tongue once more dragging up between your folds to meet your clit. You unintentionally tighten your thighs around the sides of his face as you now realise his fingers crept up to caress along your quivering hole, panting softly. “Please..” You mumble, already craving so much more than his pretty fingers inside of you. It’s as if he could read your mind because he merely shakes his head, the tips of his hair tickling your inner thighs.
“Princess, I don’t care if we’re in public or how needy you get. I’m still going to take my time.” He says, words muffled against your cunt and despite feeling so floaty already from the pleasure that washes over you as if you’re in the ocean; you still have enough focus to roll your eyes and have your swollen lips form a small pout. “Bit selfish, don’t you think?” You huff out your retaliation and are swiftly met with a firm slap to your thigh, prompting a surprised yelp as the stinging sensation spreads across your skin. Your hand comes up to pitifully try to hide the sound as you look down at the lifeguard between your legs. “Yeah, and? Doesn’t look like you have a problem with my selfishness. Especially when I..” He trails off, deciding on a little bit of no mercy as he presses the tips of his two digits against your tight entrance before with little force, he slides them right in.
Completely and easily with how aroused you really are. Your pussy has been practically drenched since the first kiss and so his long fingers are lovingly greeted with the velvety warmth of your walls squeezing tight around the new invasion. They reached further than just the tip of his tongue. You could feel how long they are as he begins to slowly set a pace of his fingers thrusting in and out of your tightness, pressing sweet kisses to your clit that continues to pulsate from the contact. Whimpering moans easily spill from your parted lips, head tilting back against the cliff face as you succumb to the absolute bliss you feel rush through you.
Satoru’s head tilts up as well to admire the pretty sight of your chest rising and falling from your needy pants and your face scrunching up as he angles his fingers with each thrust until you gasp sharply and weakly grip his hair. “Bingo.” He jokes lightly, tongue continuing to swirl and flick against the sensitive bud as he slowly grinds his fingers deep inside and against the sweet spot. The wet sounds of your pussy only encourage him to pick up the pace of his fingering. Your inner walls squeeze tightly around his long digits, eyebrows furrowing in almost disbelief as you feel his fingers slowly stretch you out as they continue rubbing against the sweet spot.
Fuck, it all just feels so good. Every time you feel that hot flush of pleasure racing through you, you can’t stop your toes from curling and crying out for the lifeguard. The white-haired male thinks it’s a miracle that he’s able to even last this long before stuffing your tight cunt full of his thick cock. Especially after a brief taste of pleasure when your pretty lips were wrapped around him but, maybe it’s because he’s discovered just how fun it really is to tease you. To have your legs over his shoulders and trust his strength to hold you up against the cliff, the sun slowly setting behind him as his mouth devours you completely, fingers causing sweet squelching sounds as he pumps them inside of your tightness. It’s all too good in his eyes. Even before using his cock, Satoru knows he’s going to struggle if he doesn’t get his daily fix of you now. Hopefully, you’ll agree to see more of him. Besides, pleasure aside? He thinks you’re pretty cute.
“Satoru— Best lifeguard in existence, ah… Please? Wan’ more.” You plead breathlessly as you feel his third finger tease around the rim of your stretched entrance. Fingering feels good. It leaves you all warm and tingly but, you want more. Need it. You need his— You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you hear the lifeguard laugh at your form of begging, pushing the two of his fingers against your tight walls slowly until you whine in response and finally, Satoru decides to give you what you want. “Alright, Miss Needy.” He says and you feel him start to cautiously guide your legs to slide off of his shoulders and your hands frantically come up to grip onto jagged rocks but before there was even a threat of a fall, Satoru’s strong arms wrap around your body and he lowers you to the ground, feet sinking into the warm sand and getting in between your toes.
You lean up with the intention to give him a sweet kiss but Satoru merely smirks before his hands firmly grasp your shoulders. “Now now, princess. Kissing can come later. You’re desperate for my cock, no?” He teases lightly, pressing against your shoulders as he forcefully moves you until you find yourself stumbling. With a playful pout but an eagerness to obey, you shuffle your feet in the sand until you’re turned around, curiosity growing on just how exactly he wants you positioned. This is all up to him, after all. The one who chose such a risky spot in public. Against a cliff. You still truly couldn’t wrap your head around it but, it’s exciting. So thrilling that your heart races.
You let a soft squeak when his large hand grips the back of your neck and he suddenly pushes you down. Without even needing to tell you, your hands come up frantically to make contact with the cliff, hands pressing against the aged rocks. “Good girl, you caught on.” Satoru praises, voice low and breathless. You’re bending over, legs trembling with anticipation and all you can focus on is his overwhelming presence behind you. You don’t even need to glance his way to know he’s towering above you.
Satoru’s pearly white clench together to prevent sounds from escaping as he admires the gorgeous sight before himself and, no. It wasn’t the ocean that was behind him. Nor the sight of families having fun on the beach that he stands guard over. Not the park up in the distance or dolphins appearing amongst the waves. He’s almost numb to those sights from having to come to work daily as a lifeguard but, this? This is a sight he could never become numb to. The sight of you bent over before him, body trembling and feet shifting in the sand as you keep your pretty ass on display for him. Fuck, he could practically see your pussy dripping from where he stands and your juices smeared across your inner thighs. Just like how his lower face is still covered in the sweetness that he refuses to wipe away.
You whine softly, almost becoming frustrated from the lack of both touch and cock inside of you. Satoru merely grins at your whining, large hands caressing gently along your bare sides, toying with the strings of your top bikini. “Such a needy little thing you are..” He says, hands coming down to firmly grip your waist as he steps forward, pressing his bare cock against your ass. You could feel it throb against your ass cheek, pre-cum slowly dripping onto you before he grinds slowly to smear the few droplets across your flesh. The lifeguard grips the base of his cock before playfully slapping it against your ass and eagerly you wiggle your ass back against his throbbing length.
“Fucking hell.” He laughs, endeared by your eagerness before he finally positions his length between your dripping folds. “You do realise I don’t have a condom, right? We can stop if you want me to.” The white-haired male expresses despite the light pleasure he feels from his length dragging along between your folds, feeling your sweet slick coating his length. You feel your hole already clench around nothing as if your body is begging to be filled up. “Wan’ you in me. Now.” You huff impatiently, feet shuffling out in the sand to spread your legs further.
“Going to have to teach you manners later.” Satoru says, though pleased by your ‘subtle’ desperation and so with his hand still wrapped around the base of his cock, he moves to position himself until the bulbous tip of his cock rests against your entrance. Not bothering to wait to confirm with you again, the lifeguard finally presses the tip of his length against your hole and with little force, the rim of your hole finally stretches around the head of his length and your pussy greets Satoru’s slowly sinking cock happily.
The sounds of your strained mewls lace with his deep groans as you feel his thickness slowly stretch out your inner walls and despite the amount of slickness your cunt excitedly produced, you still feel the lingering pain of being stretched out by something so big. Bigger than anything you’ve ever experienced before. Satoru feels breathless as your velvety walls clench around him, wrapping so snugly and tight around his throbbing cock as if eager to keep him inside of you, still slowly sinking in. Satoru tries to take his time pushing in to allow you to adjust but it’s as if your walls are eagerly gripping onto him, pulling him further and further.
Satoru completely bottoms out, throbbing erection completely sheathed as he pants softly, trying to contain himself as the pleasure pulses through him from feeling your inner walls squeeze around his length entirely. Your eyes are wide, barely able to focus on the details of the cliff and only on how wide he stretched your cunt out with ease. You could feel your own mess slowly dripping out despite practically being stuffed full and plugged up. The stretch hurts, stinging at first as you both try to just adjust to the new sensation. You bite back a soft whimper, head hanging forward and eyes closing tightly. Satoru soothingly rubs along your side, hoping to coax you into relaxing.
“Come on, baby. This is nothing compared to a jellyfish sting.” He says, pleased to get the reaction he wanted, which was you laughing at the silliness of his words. The lifeguard smiles behind you, red shorts down to his knees and your bikini bottoms hanging out of the pocket. Thankfully, with his touch, you find your body relaxing before him and the painful stretch dulls down until there’s not even a hint of it anymore. Truth be told, it was a pain you found yourself liking because of what it meant. The handsome lifeguard is inside of you. “Nn, move..” You mumble quietly and it’s a good thing that Satoru is so fixated on you because not even the wind along the beach could hide your words from him.
Satoru, not wanting to actually harm you; starts off slow. He slowly pulls back, his length sliding along your warm velvety walls until he pushes back in. He doesn’t go the entire way, just the first few inches but it’s enough to leave your toes curling in the sand and his name spilling from your lips in the form of a lewd moan. “How are you so tight—“ Satoru choked out, voice strained as you squeezed around his slowly thrusting length. He doesn’t dare pick up the pace, the pair of you melting into the pleasurable sensation of his cock sliding in and out of you and fuck, you swear you could feel even the details of his cock against your inner walls, thick and protruding veins.
You deliberately squeeze around him and instantly, Satoru knows what you’re silently pleading for. Crystal blue eyes widening with manic and lips forming a small grin, the lifeguard begins to pick up the pace of his thrusts, deepening them further. Your swollen lips stay parted as needy whines and moans of the lifeguard’s name escape, feeling each deep thrust that sends a surge of ecstasy through your entire body, nails grazing against the rocks. You could hear him pant softly, his cock sliding all the way out before he slams back in relentlessly, refusing to give you time to relax before he slams his thickness back inside of you.
“Fucking hell—“ He grunts out as you squeeze around him, his hand ghosting along your back before he swats your ass cheek firmly. A squeal escapes from feeling the sudden sting of pain, pushing back eagerly onto his throbbing cock. It feels beyond good to feel the way he stretches your walls out and fills you to the very brim. Truly stuffed full of his cock every time he pushes in deep. His hand reaches out to grip your hair, keeping your head tilted back. His other hand lands smack after smack against your ass, feeling your inner velvety walls squeeze around his thick cock with each impact and you whimper from the stinging pain that laces with the sweet pleasure of his thrusting cock.
Both of you nearly go still from hearing a sudden chime fill the surrounding air. Satoru’s phone is ringing. “Fuck—“ He says, hastily stuffing his hand into the pocket of his red board shorts to grab the vibrating object and check the contact, all the while his hips never stop moving. He refuses to let some call get in the way of both his pleasure and your own. Besides, it’s cute to see the way you clasp your hand over your mouth to try and muffle your sounds. He answers the call and presses it to his ear.
“Yeah, Suguru?”
His hips slam forward until his cock is entirely sheathed again and there’s the lewd sound of your juices squelching around his thickness. He’s breathless as he listens to the other voice. “Ah— Y/N from before left her bag with her friends and they’re wondering where she is?” He repeats, unable to stop himself from smirking down at your bent-over body. Your eyes widen at his words, your face feeling flushed. Fuck, you did forget your bag and that includes your phone. You whimper, his fingers tightening the grip on your hair. “She’s here with me… Do they want to talk to her? Alright, that’s fine with me.” He says, voice sounding so sickly sweet as he dangles the phone in front of you. “Go on.” He says, slowly sliding his length out of your tight cunt.
You reach with a trembling hand, heart racing with a mixture of anxiety and excitement at the thought of having to be on the phone when the lifeguard’s delicious cock pistons in and out of you; hard and fast. “H-Hello?” You manage to breathe out, desperately holding back the delighted squeal that wanted to escape as he grinds deep inside of you, prompting electrifying pleasure to course through your very being.
“Y/N? Where are you? You never came back with that lifeguard after you got stung. Are you okay?” You have to hold the phone slightly away from your ear to prevent your friends from hearing your heavy pants, feeling Satoru’s hand snake around to teasingly rub against your sensitive clit. Fuck, the sadist is having too much fun with this. “I’m— I’m okay!” You squeak in response, thighs closing in on the male’s intrusive hand. Your body is flushed with heat, swimming in the pleasure that his sliding length blesses you with. “I’ll get my bag later—“
“Tell them to give it to Suguru and he’ll leave it at the tower.”
You could barely process the words but you can definitely sense the fact that Satoru is enjoying this a bit too much. You muffle a whimper against your shoulder, eyes rolling and phone threatening to fall from your hand. “If you could ah.. nn— Leave it with Suguru? He— He’ll!! Satoru is asking Suguru to take it to the tower, I’ll get it later.” You manage to spill out between your heavy pants, voice high-pitched as you pathetically try to hide the evidence of your cunt being fucked hard. His fingers teasingly pinch your clit, watching as you tremble beneath him and he chuckles lowly, smoothing his hand just up slightly to apply pressure against your lower stomach. He could feel the way your stomach bulges slightly every time he pushes in deep and you bite back a sob, unable to contain how good it really feels to have him rapidly sliding his length in and out of your hot core.
There’s suspicious silence over the phone, quiet murmuring before your friend on the replies. “Okay, um— Hope you’re having fun, we’ll leave it with Suguru!” She says and you could hear the rushed movement of the phone being handed around and you barely managed to hold it up for Satoru to take, your head hanging forward as you whimper. He takes it with ease, despite his own body feeling like hot jelly as your heavenly walls keep a snug tight fit around his thickness. He holds the phone between his shoulder and ear, hands firmly gripping onto your waist as he slams into your cunt, causing you to cry out loudly, body pushing forward until your own cheek rests against the back of your hand that’s pathetically trying to hold you up by gripping one of the jagged rocks of the cliff.
“Mm? Oh, is it that obvious?” Satoru laughs in response to whatever Suguru is saying on the phone. At this point, you’re too much in your own world to give a damn about anything else. “Couldn’t resist such a pretty girl, you know that. Can I focus on what I’m doing now? Yeah. Uhuh. We’ll pick it up later. Thanks, Suguru.” He pauses. You feel him pausing for a moment, only his leaking tip nudged inside of you. “You’re the best, ah— I might tell you all about it later, I know you’re eager. What’s that? Bye!” Satoru practically sings his own cockiness into the phone before hanging up on his own best friend, tucking the object back into his pocket.
“Sorry about that, princess. Now, where were we?” He grunts out, trimmed nails digging into the flesh of your waist. You didn’t even need to see to know his lips were twisting to form his sinister smirk, leaning back far enough to inspect his own cock. It’s glistening with your juice, slowly dripping and fuck, it only arouses him further. You whine, wishing he’d return to fucking you properly, especially so you could forget the realisation that both his co-worker and your friends know what’s currently happening. You sucked at hiding how you were feeling, but in your defence; he was slamming into you hard enough that skin slapping against skin would have been heard through the small device.
“Fuuuuuuck me…” You plead, wiggling your hips back and managing to sink back onto an inch or two before Satoru shivers at the sweet feeling of you squeezing back around him. “You’re such a slut for my cock.” Satoru teases, feeling rather smug as tightens his grip on your waist to return to the steady pace of his thrusts, eager to pound into your tight hole. His crystal blue eyes roll at the sensation, white strands of hair falling over his eyes as his head falls forward, struggling to keep himself together. You just feel so fucking good around him.
You both are resisting the urge to reach climax, desperate to drag this out. Even as the sun begins to finally set and the sky darkens. Neither of you cared for anything but being with each other in the moment. That and how he roughly pounds into you. Not even a hint of a pause as his cock drills in and out, the lewd sounds of your juices squelching with each time his length enters you, balls slapping up against you. It’s a relief no one is taking walks like the previous couple before you are screaming for the heavens above and the white-haired lifeguard is eating it up. Even the stinging pain of his skin harshly meeting yours.
“Ah, ‘toru! Nn— Feels so—“ You cry out in ecstasy, stomach already starting to feel hot and tight with the urge of an orgasm growing more and more. You’re so blissfully fucked out that your mind couldn’t even form thoughts. Your body could only focus on the constant high, walls clenching around his length as he dragged himself out, only to push back into the brim. “Feels so good, huh?” Satoru pants out, his length throbbing harder than before. “Fuck, Y/N— in or out?” He manages to grunt out, hips stuttering as his own sensitivity begins to creep up on him. You didn’t need to be a genius to figure out what he meant and with a loud whimper, you tilt your head back to meet his hot gaze. deliberately squeezing around his thrusting length to send the message.
You want every drop of his cum inside of you. You didn’t care if it was rather greedy on the first time or if it made you selfish. You want him to breed you, like that’s exactly what you were made for. Besides, it’d just feel so nice to be able to feel full. The message was loud and clear despite no words actually leaving your lips and Satoru is thrilled to have permission; perhaps he was desperately hoping you’d agree because once his cock was stuffed deep inside of you, Satoru just knew that he wanted it this way and naturally, luck is always on Satoru’s side. He gets what he secretly wants.
His nails drag hot across your flesh before he snakes his arms around your trembling body, pressing his front down against your back and he embraces you rather lovingly from behind. Satoru grinds slow and deep, refusing to even pull an inch of his throbbing cock out. He wants to stay inside your tight warmth that squeezes around him. One hand travels down to slide two fingers between your folds, deciding to double the pleasure you feel by caressing your clit with the pads of his fingers, slowly rubbing in a circular motion. “Oh— Oh fuck..” You gasp sharply as his length rubs against your sweet spot and feel your sensitive clit throb beneath his touch. You couldn’t hold back any longer. Even if you want to hold out a little longer, your body refuses.
Hard waves of ecstasy crash over your body, thighs squeezing before shaking violently through the sudden, intense orgasm. You cum hard around his thrusting cock and it’s like your mind is just wiped clean of everything as your lips stay parted to let out the string of cries laced with lewd mewls of the lifeguard’s name, fingertips scraping against the rocks of the cliff face. You’re truly oblivious to how your own body reacts as you drown happily in the constant waves of pleasure that crash over your trembling body. Sweat causes strands of hair to stick to the sides of your temples, eyes rolling back and feeling the hot, sweet tingles spread across you, starting from your dripping cunt. Your hot walls clench repeatedly around his thickness as if so hungry for something. Desperate to milk out everything he’s holding back.
Satoru’s own mind short-circuits from the sudden orgasm that takes hold of you and it’s like your tight pussy is clinging, refusing for him to pull out. Even as his hands attempt to soothe you, Satoru’s hips slam forward for the final time and his own body is flushed with the searing heat of an orgasm. It’s like every fibre of his being loosens up as the bulbous tip of his cock buried deep inside of you, shoots out every sticky rope of cum, painting your inner walls white. His forehead rests against your shoulder, hot breath fanning against your skin as he pants your name out. It feels like heaven, to him. To have you wrapped around him as he pumps you full of his cum. He could feel his tense muscles finally relaxing and his length pulsating inside of you. He sighs out softly, pleasantly buzzed from experiencing the momentary high.
“Good girl..” He murmurs, pressing gentle kisses to the back of your shoulder as he continues to hold your weak body against him, hips stuttering as he slowly thrusts to aid in riding out both of your orgasms. You whimper happily, tears in your eyes from the intensity of your orgasm. Truth be told, if he wasn’t holding you up, you know you would have collapsed from weak legs. You continue to tremble gently, inner walls slowly clenching around the male’s length. It feels so damn good to be so full. Reluctantly, Satoru begins to slide his soft length out until he notices his sticky mess spilling out of your stretched hole that now squeezes around nothing. “Why..” You whine your complaint and a breathless chuckle escapes the lifeguard. “As much as I’d love the idea of staying inside of you, I can’t just keep you outside.” He reminds you, long fingers gathering up the strings of cum that dribble out, noticing that it’s already mixed with your own juices.
Fuck. Feeling daring enough, Satoru moves his long fingers towards your face. Your cheek is resting against the cliff when you notice the approach and with a quick side glance his way; you obediently wrap your lips around his digits, happily sucking off the mess. You moan softly at the saltiness laced with your own sweetness, slowly sliding your mouth up and down every bit of his fingers, slurping up the saliva that now threatens to spill. Your eyelids feel heavy from the previous orgasm and still coming down from that sweet high; you slowly blink and savour the taste that fills your mouth. Satoru gulps, completely entranced by the filthy sight of you sucking on his fingers.
“Fucking hell, you are one lewd princess.” He comments as he watches your tongue slowly drag up between his fingers, leaving behind a string of saliva as you pull away, flustered by his words. You’re still in a daze from the orgasm he practically blessed you with. You never really experienced it so intensely before. “It’d be a waste..” You mumble shyly, feeling the last of his cum smearing across your inner thighs as you rub them together. Even your clit still throbs slowly, too sensitive for any kind of touch. The lifeguard smiles, endeared by your words. “Uhuh. Well, if you ever need more. I’m happy to give it.” Satoru snorts, his hands coming up to grip your shoulders. It’s a miracle that you’re still standing and you know it’s because he’s holding you up as he guides you to turn around and face him.
You meet his piercing blue eyes, finally leaning up to get that kiss you tried to steal before. Satoru grins lightly, finding it cute that you’re still so needy despite just being fucked roughly against a cliff. He lowers himself to press a kiss to your lips, hastily tucking his cock back inside his shorts in a pitiful attempt to stop himself from getting hard. It’d hurt and he knows how irresistible you are in his eyes now. “Come on. Might as well go get your bag.” He says, pausing as he blindly tugs out your bikini bottoms that were stuffed into his pocket. With a gentle push against your shoulder, you understood that Satoru was signalling for you to briefly rely on the cliff face to hold yourself up as he lowered himself to his knees, groaning.
“Even I feel like jelly, what did you do to me?” Satoru jokes, inspecting the bottoms. Surely you tie the bows first? What do girls do with these? You bite back an amused smile at his confusion but say nothing, perhaps enjoying the sight of the usual cocky lifeguard being on his knees and looking like he needs to depend on someone. Satoru with the confidence of thinking he’s right, swiftly ties the side strings into bows and he brings it towards you. You grip his broad shoulders as you carefully step into the loops before you feel the male drag them up along your weak legs until they’re once again covering you.
“Such a gentleman. Will I get to see that side of you more?” You giggle softly, hand playfully ruffling up the male’s soft white hair before he stands up. Satoru, feeling playful, scoops your hand up with his and brings your hand up to kiss each knuckle dramatically. “Mwah. Of course, princess. Only you get such honours of this hot lifeguard taking care of you.” He says and you can hear the smirk in his voice. Your heart still flutters and not wanting the already developing feelings to be obvious, you pinch his cheek.
“That’s so cute of you, Satoru. First, you save me from a jellyfish sting. Then, you fuck me. Really good. And now, you kiss my knuckles. I really am spoiled.” You sigh out dramatically, caressing his cheek with the pad of your thumb and he tilts his head to press a kiss to your palm, eyes closing momentarily. “Only fair. You let me fuck you and it was really—“ He pauses, unable to think of a word and despite your hopeful gaze upon him, he merely smiles. “Stop distracting me. Bag.” He repeats, fingers adjusting your bikini top to cover you properly.
Naturally, you pout and roll your eyes from him not finishing his words, still leaning against the cliff. You watch him intently as he finds his sunglasses in the sand, tossing them into his backpack before zipping it up. “But, mister lifeguard..” You trail off, dramatically fanning yourself as your long lashes flutter. “I don’t think I can walk. You fucked me too good and my legs are weak. That and… the jellyfish sting.” You say, glancing at the part of your leg that is still bandaged up. Instantly, Satoru holds his hand up to stop you, shaking his head. “Ah, ah. Do you really think I’d let you walk at all? Who do you think I am?” He says, lips forming a playful pout.
Your cheeks start to hurt from grinning too much as you watch the lifeguard squat down low before you, hands coming back and gesturing for you to climb on. “You really do spoil me.” You giggle, feeling genuinely thankful towards Satoru because truthfully, he fucked you that good. You think your entire body is going to feel all gooey and weak for the rest of the night. You lean off the cliff, dramatically falling until your front lands against him, chest pressing against his toned back. You’re careful to not put all your weight, not that he cares and wrap your arms around his neck to cling onto him.
You couldn’t see the soft smile that graced his visage as he wrapped his arms beneath your knees and hoisted you up with ease, carrying you comfortably on his back and your legs dangle freely. Briefly, he leans forward. “Can you carry my backpack? It’s not heavy.” He says and you reach just in front of him to hook your fingers through the loop on top, holding it against his front body and he stands up. Satoru begins to walk in the direction you both originally came, taking his time. You glance towards the ocean, seeing the very last glimpse of the setting sun. You didn’t realise that it was even getting dark. You were so lost in the world of pleasure, thanks to the very same lifeguard who ‘saved’ you from a nasty sting. You tuck your head between his shoulder and neck, lips brushing lightly against his hot skin. “So, dinner and round two?” You whisper, breath ghosting along his neck. You could still feel his cum slowly leaking out. Satoru’s feet stumble in the sand, surprised by your words before his lips twist to form a grin, blue eyes becoming even more alive. With an eager nod and his arms tightening around your legs.
“Hold on, Y/N. I’m getting you out of here. Fast.”
And with those words spoken, Satoru begins to pick up the pace. You’re stunned by his high stamina, but it also leaves you feeling giddy from witnessing his excitement. You smile against his neck as you hug him tightly. You didn’t expect any of this today but, you’re already hungry for the future. You tighten your fingers on his backpack and press multiple kisses to his neck as you laugh.
“Bring it on.”
647 notes · View notes
kiestrokes · 7 months
Note
You should have seen this coming
I need to know your thoughts on all on Ateez’s sex styles
ATEEZ and their Sex Styles | NSFW
Pairing: ATEEZ x Reader/You/Yn (vagina pov) Rating: NSFW. Mature (18+) Minors DNI. Genre: headcanon, imagine, smut. Warnings: aftercare mentioned in some portions, cuddling, kissing.
Sexually Explicit Content: sex positions, rough sex, choking, marking, biting, pain kink, stone top, pillow princess, cum/semen, orgasms?
🗝️ Note: oh luce...are you prepared for this? this is quick run through, and I don't have my glasses on- so feel free to kindly point out any spelling or big grammatical errors. this is my own opinion, don't take it too serious.
Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted here. 
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Park Seonghwa hmmm Hwa, this man likes things deep and slow, lots of kissing and biting going on before he quite literally dives in. He is the opposite of HJ, eye contact is what really gets him off. He wants to watch you fall apart and quickly follows you. Hwa's aftercare is showering together, so that he can ensure you both are clean for post sex snuggles and lego building.
Kim Hongjoong I have never met a scorpio that has the ability to stay in a minimum of two positions, it’s always 2++. HJ is great at foreplay; he's observed your body and gets you so keyed up in foreplay that you almost cum. But when it comes to actual sex, he's all over the place. Gets you is missionary first, but it's too intimate for his aromantic ass, puts your legs around his neck and focuses on your body, then he pulls a leg over so you're halfway into doggystyle and eventually you're on your stomach getting your shit wrecked. I don't think this man can cum if you're making eye contact.
Jeong Yunho hear me out- he looks incredibly unassuming, and Yunho is more of a cuddler than a fucker. But when he does, he performs. You're having at least two orgasms and begging him to cum already. He loves to fuck you in spoon, and gives you double stim on the clit, that has even the quietest person screaming. Arguably the best sex you have ever had and he's v humble about it.
Kang Yeosang this bitch...he manhandles you left and right. up against the wall, picking you up in bed, to um- slow it down and make it bouncy. He isn't much for kissing. But is the king of aftercare and loves to cuddle afterwards. Kind of oblivious to when you orgasm though, he accidentally fucks you into another- or three.
Choi San he is the opposite of Jongho, a stone top. your pleasure means more to him than his own. his favorite position is cowgirl, wants you facing him, admiring all his muscles and sneaking in little kisses. he might also have a mild neck kink, not quite choking but his hand is always there. so sorry but San immediately falls asleep after you fuck (re drunkteez).
Song Mingi ohhh Mingi...leo men don't come to fuck around (well they do. but you'll understand in a minute) similar to Yeo and Yunho he wants you to cum first. he likes to think his favorite position is doggy, but this man falls apart in missionary. it's the eye contact, the kissing, the biting, the hair pulling, how your legs wrap around and pull him in like you just can't get enough. man is gone. he also doesn't like cumming inside you, he wants to cum on your thighs or your stomach or your tits. to show you what you did to him. Mingi's aftercare is lots of food, he needs to eat and he wants you to eat with him, then cuddle up in bed and hold you like a little burrito (re sangi live)
Jung Wooyoung I saved this bitch for last, Woo likes it the roughest...even if I think HJ is the one with the pain kink. Woo wants you to be aggressive passionate with him, wants your hand on his throat, clenching his jaw, nails in his back. is kissing you non-stop, you cannot breathe between the thrusting and him literally stealing the air from your lungs in each kiss. tbh I think Woo prefers to give you oral and maybe receive oral over everything. but those little hips of his know how to work out the most intense orgasms.
Choi Jongho ok...sooo, Jongho and my libra bestie were both born on October 12th. I'm going to use a lot of what I know about her- is secretly incredibly kinky, willing to try anything once. He is a pillow princess, loves skinship but only when he initiates it, prefers to see a lot of his partner's skin. drops a ton of affectionate touches but screams he was just joking when you drag him off to the bedroom. he is the most vocal of all the members, literally singing his praises.
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© COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.
973 notes · View notes
all444miles · 9 months
Text
— ARCADE DATES
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— pairing: e!42 miles x fem!black!reader hcs — genre: fluff — cw: cursing, use of the n word once, one slightly suggestive comment that's abt it — summary: miles is your boyfriend, so when you heard that the local funfair was opened, you just had to ask him to come with you. the perfect date, right? — translations: ¿Estabas diciendo, mi princesa? Fallaste como, cada disparo. = What were you saying, my princess? You missed like, every shot. mi culpa = my fault. cálma, cariño! = take it easy, baby! Hijo de puta.. = son a bitch.. — a/n: if the translations are incorrect/inaccurate, pls correct me n I apologise 😭 other than that, please enjoy!!
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you text your boyfriend miles asking if he wanted to come to the fair with you. obviously, he says yes
fs he'll make a bet that whoever gets the highest score on the basketball machine has to pay for all the snacks. "amor, you tryna make a bet?"
"what kind?" "basketball machine. you lose, you gotta buy snacks for the rest of the night." "you for real think you gon win?" "ma, you look like a three year old when you try n shoot." "boy, please."
he wins, of course. he'll honestly flex about it for the rest of the night and laugh at how you're acting like a sore loser.
"Estabas diciendo, ¿mi princesa? Fallaste como, cada disparo." he'll tease you, nudging you with his elbow with a smirk printed on his face.
"miles, i hate you." "Aw, I love you too, mami."
you'll make the same proposal but with the car racing games, and this time, you win.
"woo! kiss my ass, miles!" "oh word? bet." "nigga." "jus’ sayin, mi culpa, mamas."
he's dedicated to getting you a hello kitty plush on that one unfair stand when he saw you look at it. he ain't even into that stuff, but he knows you are, so he'll do it.
"you really wan' that kitty plush, amor?" "look at it, its so cute tho!" "you trippin. but, ima buy it for you." "ain't those games unfair?" "and?"
it takes only 3 times of him losing, a chuckle from you and the owner at the stand to say "ah, looks like you can't win the plush for your lady, hm?" for it to get on his nerves. "hijo de puta.." miles curses, a scowl on his face in annoyance — but you try and calm him down. "cálma, cariño! its aight, we can jus' go to another stand!"
he deadass just knocks out the owner, leaves $50, takes the plush n gives it to you and goes on with the rest of the date 😭
y'all would kiss everywhere.
in the photo booth, you'll be on his lap n yall would take pics like this or like this.
at the tunnel of love, y'all corny mfs gon be kissin almost all half way..
yall with most definitely kiss at the top of the ferris wheel. sum like this
n and at the end of the night, when your man n you come back home from a night of fun n games, you’ll shower n cuddle for this rest of the night till you both fall asleep in eachothers embrace.
“tonight was fun, right miles?” “si, mi sol.” “i wonder if that guy you knocked out woke up yet..” “mami, go to sleep.”
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© all444miles 2023. do not plagerize, copy, or repost my work in any way shape or form, without my permission.
likes, reblogs n comments r appreciated !
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mysteriesmuse · 10 months
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Princess Reader x Royal Guard Katsuki Bakugo
Bakugou Katsuki’s job is literally to stand by you day and night. You promoted him to being your personal guard and now he follows you around the castle like a dog. Katsuki thought he would hate it. Thought he would have to do something to get himself fired. Something that would make you dislike him because everytime he was around you his skin definitely felt red hot and he had a slight nauseating sensation in his stomach. It’s only when steam started pouring out his ears with him clenching his teeth and palms that he was able to pinpoint that feeling. Oh yes that previous feeling was jealously and Katsuki Bakugou apparently didn’t hate you. Because he really felt jealous about this stupid suitor that was attempting to woo you. He liked you. He had a crush on the princess he was in charge of protecting with his life. Not that, that would change. But now he had a reason to get to know you more. To make the same impression that the other elite guards made with small talk that put you at ease during any shift changes.
BECOME THE BEST GUARD IN THE CASTLE: CHECK
MAKE SMALL TALK & GET IN GOOD GRACES WITH THE PRINCESS: IN PROGRESS
WOO THE PRINCESS: ??? So Katsuki really freaking struggled with small talk. Plus, I mean the guy knows practically everything about you. How is he supposed to make small talk if he can’t just ask the questions? Trick question he still can. In reality he doesn’t really have to. He’s supposed to be a rather stoic and sentient figurine that guards you. His first few attempts were meet with startled eyes and strange looks for the next few weeks. You’re known to be fairly cordial and friendly with the guards, but his reputation proceeded him. Big Scary Guard Dog Bakugou. That’s who you were told was your new guard. And that’s what you expected for the most part. A quiet guy who may or may not be a piece of eye candy following you around like a shadow. Oh boy, were you wrong. He was definitely a piece of eye candy. Actually he was the piece of eye candy that was apart of your elite protection group. A very silent man Bakugou. And after the first couple of weeks of him assigned as you personal guard your opinion on that changed. Bakugou grunts out a G’mornin’ and a G’night to you every day. Almost looks strained, but it’s pleasant nonetheless. And he’s incredibly observant too. You catch him in the hall to your corridors arguing with a servant about the bouquet of flowers she’s attempting to bring in to replace the last bouquet on your writing desk. “Shitty - ahem - her majesty prefers another variety of flower. Go back and procure some of the blue snowball looking ones.” After that you noticed that the vase continually held varieties of flowers that you’d complimented on in the royal gardens. And from then on your awkward guard/royalty relationship bloomed like a hillside. A cascading flurry of one beautiful thing after another. ——— When you’re cozied up in the quiet royal library to enjoy a good book you pause and peek over the top of the novel in your lap. Almost out of curiosity or disbelief that Bakugou is the one asking a question. He blinks out of genuine curiosity and you open your mouth and start to turn the book around so that he can see the words of the story you’re gesturing at. He gets you to go on and on that way. Nothing but a few affirmational vocals from him that he’s still listening. And he loves watching your expressions almost more than when you insist that he do something. Read his own book, after all it is a library. He dismisses it all. And yes your highness he can read and write just fine. This is just his job. Well not the secretly pinning over you while you read, but the watching part. And He learns that you actually know a lot more about kingdom politics than he previously gave you credit for. You’re smoothing over diplomatic matters with a carefully inked letter and secretly keeping promises about exports and materials your kingdom has pledged.
All while you sit and hum at your writing desk. The way you gently tease off your shoes with your toes at the heels when you’ve decided you’re going to be in for a long while. And Katsuki knows then that you’ll idly wave for him to sit instead of standing at his post the whole while. Except he starts to develop the nasty happen of staring and when you catch him looking he’ll chose between grumbling and turning away as his ears turn pink or blink unyielding and say “just doing my job, princess”
Katsuki likes the suave of the second one, but it really ends up being 50/50 with it. ————
But 100% of the time your strolls through the royal garden have him itching to take some armor off as the sunny warmth makes him sweat buckets underneath the layers of his uniform. Not to mention you walking this close already has his skin hot enough. The way you walk shoulder to shoulder just has him practically drooling at the thought of holding your hand. - Exhibits extreme self-control every stroll. Oh and when the fruit and vegetables are ready to be harvested you like to take teasing strolls into the royal orchards and gardens to taste the first ripe fruit of the season. Always curtesying as you point and ask him to grab a mandarin, or plum, or peach, or nectarine, or lemon, or apple, or whatever it is. And you’ve usually tried just before hand. On you tip-toes waggling your decorated fingers into the air. The sunlight bouncing off your jewels that adorn your skin and cascade daggers of rainbowed light upon your face. And it’s always just out of reach. A fresh shiny pout on your face when you turn and ask him to pluck one. And Katsuki usually just has to stand and put his arm up to grab one as you patiently wait and watch. But you’re admiring him just as much as he admired you. Staring up at his chiseled jawline. The wheaty stubble that decorates his face. You long to feel it prickle underneath your fingertips. Wonder how it would feel tickling the edges of your kiss when you finally set your mouth against his plush lips. You admire his impeccable physique. His staggering size as he barely stretches his shoulder to reach the fruit. And the way his golden tan glistens underneath the dappled light of the sun; glistens from the profuse sweat elicited from his layers and layers of chainmail and armor. All brushing over his adams apple before he gulps and turned to hand it to you. And Katsuki loves to hold it in his palm in the way that you have to pick it up. Feel your fingers gently prod and caress the skin of his palm as you turn the fruit over. Mulling over its quality before wordlessly holding it back out. He huffs and grabs the fruit as you take him to the stone wall. You sit and pull out a handkerchief from between your breasts if he’s not swift enough in supplying you with his. And Katsuki will grab his dagger and slice up the fruit, setting the pieces down onto the handkerchief before you plop one into your mouth. His hands will still and his eyes flick to your face watching as you chew and make a satisfied moan. The rest of your stroll will include these snack breaks. Taking “samples” as you call them of the seasons fruit. And the royal gardners have since decided to ignore the two figurines of their princess and the royal guardsmen sitting on the stone walls chattering and pressing handkerchiefs into sticky thieving fingers. ————
In the royal kitchens he accompanies you as you excitedly follow behind a kitchen maid who’s sent for you to do a testing of the new desserts the chef has been working on. Despite your official look of composure he knows that you’re excited by the little bounce in your hair from your steps. Katsuki always clunks down to the table when you beckon him to sit. Frantically patting the chair next to you after he’s been a right gentleman and pushed your chair in. You always think he looks rather scared with the way his carmine eyes dart around the empty dinning hall before the procession of maids and chef come out into the hall and display a plethora of desserts in front of you. They always wave you on with glee before retreating to the kitchen to finish the next batch. Your mouth practically waters as you pick up your fork and spear the perfect first bite. Only to turn to Katsuki with your other hand under the utensil holding it up to his plush pink lips which immediately turn into a defensive scowl. You’re always muttering something about your safety to “taste test for me? Make sure there’s nothing poisoned?” Except Katsuki’s never been sure that’s your real agenda here because you always gently spoon the first bite of your special taste testing into his mouth and if its something chocolate it always taste like Heaven despite it being a brand new recipe. (You’ve got the best chocolatier in the kingdom) and he always a little groan slip out. His face melting as he chews and swallows. (he’s going to be doing a lot more of that)
Before he nods muttering it’s safe. Not that your food would be poisoned because the staff and kingdom are all pretty loyal here and him and the elite guards are way to fricken scary to have on your tail. But he humors you anyway because technically that’s protecting and you’re right it’s in his job description. And then you, without changing forks, without doing anything else immediately set the fork he just used between your own lips and lick off the icing residue between your pink lips and hum before taking a real first bite yourself. And you do it all while maintaining perfect eye contact with him. And he can feel blood rushing to weird places all over his body. And it goes on like this for every single plate they offer. HAVE THE PRINCESS FLIRT WITH YOU: yes? maybe ?? At this rate he’s not sure why the kitchen staff haven’t mandated you with a royal poison taste tester with your insistence of him having a bite of every one of your plates. Seriously what are these people thinking! They’re thinking that there’s some real true love blooming in the castle and who are they to get in the way! Plus, it’s a good practice for any wedding cake samples they do in the future. Of course they won’t ever tell y’all whose wedding they’re preparing to cater. ———— While you delight in that. Katsuki delights in nothing more than your dance lessons. He likes to watch you glide, or try to, across the floor with every step. Definitely feels a weird blooming of secondhand pride when you practice a new step a few times and smooth it out with practice. Overall he finds it very peaceful and relaxing watching you laugh and groan and be belittled by this ancient teacher they have for you. Stands at the door tapping his toe in his boot to the beat. When this ancient woman that he just loves comes over and insists that he mustn’t “just stand there and look handsome. Make yourself useful she needs a partner” which always causes your head to swivel like a chicken as he detaches a few layers of pure metal off his body to make the dancing “easier and more realistic for her highness”
So now he gets to stand bare of any occluding armor and he can feel your e/c gaze washing over his body and the ripping muscles that he’s always had hidden under that armor. Adores the chance to hold you in his arms and practice doing the steps that you’re working on. And he’s attended enough of these things and the balls to be able to pick up on his part pretty quickly. Katsuki, not to toot his own horn because he would never, has to say he’s pretty darn good at dancing. Stupidly good for a royal guard which he’s supposed to be. He’s supposed to be clunky and clumsy, but as soon as the armor is off he’s as graceful as any one of the princes or dukes you’ve danced with ball after ball and gala after gala. He’s humongous. Practically a head taller than you and his shoulders are stupidly wide and it’s like you’re in a cocoon of just him. His stupid minty breath whenever he’s mumbling something snarky or whispering the counts just loud enough for your teacher to know he’s actually helping. The flopping bangs that fall into his face whenever he needs to look down and see what your feet are doing. Usually because you’ve accidentally skipped a step or done something that messes with his leading because how can you not! Except this only fuels Bakugou’s ego more because he’s never seen you mess up with any partner at any of these balls you attend. The logical part of his brain says it’s because this is your dance room and you’re practicing. But the other hopeful part of his heart says it’s because maybe you’re flustered. Maybe you feel something too. And you definitely do. The oddly warm, but searing heat of his hand on the small of your back makes you stand up. His shoulder and bicep and forearm all a fluttering mass of muscle that languidly stretches and twitches underneath your arm. His meaty and calloused hand that holds yours, which is incredibly clamy except you’re not sure if it’s you or him! And your annoying dance teacher who constantly whacks your limbs and buttocks whenever you do something wrong, which only makes your guards impeccable poker face quirk into a smirk before she starts the music again. And unfortunately the old crone has caught on. Because your lessons after having danced with Katsuki are immensely improved. And your performance at balls is flawless at best, so she’s going to keep asking the young rugged handsome guard of yours to keep stepping in as your partner for dancing because he seems to be the only one where you actually have to work for that composure. ————
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whoetoshaw · 6 months
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THE USELESS HOTLINE | g. clarkey
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summary: george’s girlfriend goes on the useless hotline where she discusses their first date, princess treatment and shagging whilst parents are home. [18k+ words.]
pairing: reader x george clarkey.
notes: the second i finished this i had to get it out to you so sorry for any mistakes!!! i hope you enjoy! it’s long as heck but pod fics will be! i tried to squeeze so much stuff in 🤣 lmk what you thought! i’m so glad she’s done, maybe one day you’ll get a part 2 🥴 *also just a lil warning, mentions of spiking/hospitalisation* don’t forget to reblog! <333
“HELLO! I’m Max Balegde!”
“And I’m George Clarke, and welcome to The Useless Hotline. TikTok wasn’t working out for us so we decided to set up our own little business.”
“The Useless Hotline is a place where we help you with your queries no matter how weird, disgusting or embarrassing they are.”
“But it won’t always just be us! Sometimes, we’ll be joined by a special guest as an interviewee! Like today!”
“Woo!”
“And she’s already mouthing every word we’re sayin’, it’s almost as if she knows how things work around here!”
“—it’s almost as if she comes here every week to hear us say those same exact words!”
“It is!”
You smiled cheekily at their sarcasm, letting them do their bit before bringing you on. “—anyway! Our interviewee is here! Shall we bring them in?”
“Let’s do it, before they get anymore fed up waiting,” your boyfriend’s eyes flickered playfully beyond the camera, smile etching his face as he got up out of his chair to switch sides. You shook your head and pushed yourself off the table you were leaning on and walked over to his previous seat as they got ready, playing the jingle.
“Can’t I sit beside Max?”
“What? No,” George dramatically shook his head, “we are the interviewers here.”
“Why?” Max laughed.
“‘Cause I'm used to him being on this side, and I don’t like being by myself over here,” you laughed loudly, feeling isolated from the duo, you pushed your chair closer. “Can I?”
“No!”
“So!” Max cut in, making room for his co-host, “hello! Welcome! How are you!”
You ignored George’s eyes staring at you, trying to put you off and make you laugh. “Hi! I’m good, I’m good, happy to be here.”
“Are you nervous?”
“No.”
“You should be.”
“Oh,” you broke at the same time as Max, neither of you able to be serious around each other.
“Introduce yourself,” George swooped in to save the day and rescue this interview, already trying not to facepalm.
“Yes, introduce yourself, what’s your name? Where do you come from? How old are you?”
“My name’s Y/n Y/l/n . . . I’m almost 22 . . . and I live down South,” you didn’t know why you were trying to hold back laughter, the question not even funny.
“She’s a Brighton girly.”
“I’m a Brighton girly,” you nodded.
“What’s that like?”
“Um, yeah it’s a very nice place to grow up.”
“Quiet?”
“I mean where I grew up, yeah, it was a nice, quiet place. Sheltered area.”
“Yeah, you give me that vibe.”
“Oh.”
“Stability.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah,” he tried not to laugh, “um, I love Brighton, personally, I said I would love to raise a family in Brighton.”
“I mean it’s all I’ve known, I’d say the same, but then I said I would probably live there forever and then—” and then you met George and suddenly London had a more homey vibe to it. “I’m growing used to London. I don’t know. I’ll always love Brighton though.”
“And what do you do?”
“Not much!” George hit the table with his lame joke, but was met with the perk of your eyebrow. “No?”
“No,” you deadpanned, tucking your hair behind your ear, “I work in a nail salon . . and upload to TikTok sometimes?”
“—but you’re shit at nails and got sacked and that’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Max connected the dots.
“Yeah! Yeah, exactly.”
“Yeah! So!” The three of you looked between the other, not knowing what to ask next. “Do — so, you’re 22, are you finished with Uni?”
“I graduate soon.”
“Are you excited?”
“Yeah.”
Goodbye stress, goodbye breakdowns, goodbye referencing.
“Can I come?”
“Yeah, if you want,” you raised a shoulder with a smile.
“Who’s coming?”
“Um, probs just my mum and dad. Nan and Grandad, maybe. George, if he wants,” you nodded at him, feeling weird at the thought of having so many people want to be there for you.
“Are you going to go?” Max turned to him.
“Yeah, obviously.”
“I’ll be screaming the loudest for you from the crowd,” Max promised, shuffling closer to the table, “um, and what about school? You must have been good in school to have gotten into University, I’m assuming,” he laughed, realising he should have asked the other first.
“Yeah, school was alright.”
“Didn’t you go to an all girl’s school?”
“Yeah. Why is that funny? Why you laughing?”
“I’m not! Ummm, were you well-behaved in school?”
“Were you a goody two-shoes?” George mocked in a patronising tone.
“I was well-behaved,” you held your hand up to his face to block him out, “yeah I was . . I mean I like to think I was liked by everyone, I was never part of like . . groups, you know? Got involved in any drama.”
“Not a mean girl?”
“No, no, I talked to everyone, I kind of just minded my own business and . . got the work done.”
“Did your teachers love you?”
“Uh, obviously,” the three of you laughed.
“And you do nails, I don’t know why I’m trying not to laugh. Do you still do nails in Brighton?”
“Yeah.”
“Jesus, this is an exciting interview,” your boyfriend commented.
“Shut up! How long have you been doing nails for? Isn't it called the Teal Salon or something?”
“Yeah. ‘Cause the building is painted a mint blue, teal colour. Very Brighton vibes.”
“Was it your first job?”
“No, I worked in a nursery school and also in like . . a cafe-bakery thing when I was really young.”
“REALLY?!”
“Yeah, but only as a server. They didn’t let me bake or anything but like . . yeah. To help with the social skills – this interview is so exciting!”
“That’s what I’m saying—”
“Shut up!” Max interrupted, “we need to get to know our guest before we can jump into the juicy questions! Trust me! I’ve planned most of this interview!” He looked between you both, “now what —I don’t know what I’m doing, I can’t do this with you - it’s like when Andrew— oh by the way! For those who don’t know ‘cause we didn’t say — y/n is George’s girlfriend,” the boys laughed again after realising they’d left out such a primal piece of information. “I feel like we didn’t establish that.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, so, you could say this is going to be a very biased interview, um, yeah — d’you want to get yourself a drink first? Are you gonna make me that cocktail you were telling me about?”
“Yeah, did you get the juice?”
“Yeah, I brought some.”
“Sure!” you grinned, spinning around to open the cabinet. “Is this my first task?”
“It is, you have to make us a really nice drink to help win us over.” Max watched you stand up and hunt for a certain bottle in particular, stepping on your tip-toes to check the top shelf, “it should be at the back.”
They watched your hand reach for the top shelf to feel around, looking at them confused, unable to locate it, bottles clanking and hitting off each other, making you panic and take a step back to see if you could spot it first.
There was an accident waiting to happen, “George you may get up and get her it, I put it so far back so no-one would pick it,” Max didn’t even get to his fourth word when George got to his feet and joined you at the cabinet, seeing your struggle. He stood behind you and saw the drink directly in his eyeline and passed it to you. “Here.”
“Don’t forget the mixer,” he added, “y/n, how tall are you?” He had to ask, amused by the height difference.
“I don’t see it.” George interrupted.
“5’5 but if you want specifics I say 5ft 4 and a half,” you peered below his arm to answer his question.
“So George has 6—7 inches on ya? In ya too—”
“—yay! Max can do maths!”
“Max don’t start, I haven’t even poured my drink yet,” you looked to the floor with a laugh, knowing what you were getting yourself into.
“It’s definitely not in there, Max.”
“It is, George!”
“WHERE?!”
“I’m not seeing it either,” you checked the other shelves again, your plan for making a quick and easy cocktail plummeting.
“Guys, it’s definitely in there, I remember putting it in my bag,” Max said from the desk.
“It’s not,” your boyfriend argued.
“It is! I swear I brought it in my bag!”
Either you and George were really lazy or the bottle was genuinely not in the cabinet and you were wasting time, but George took a seat in his original seat in defeat after 5 minutes of looking as you stopped searching also, unscrewing the cap on the bottle you did have to sniff the sweet liquor.
“Max, you find it,” the lid dropped to the floor.
“I put it in my bag,” he thought back as your boyfriend wrapped his arm around your leg to lean down and pick the cap up.
“Ruining my interview,” you took a seat on his knee while the blond grabbed his bag from off set.
“I swear I— OH MY GOD. I put it in my bag. It’s still in the bag,” he slapped his hand to his mouth, “SORRY!”
“Are you serious!?”
“You twat.”
“I am. I’m sorry,” he laughed, giving you the mixer he’d promised to pick up specifically for this occasion. “Ok, get to your cocktail making,” he slid his mug over to you, taking a seat again.
“It’s barely a cocktail, I’m just mixing juices here,” you free-winged the recipe.
“Oop, cheeky.”
“Yeah, you’re used to that love.”
“I’m leaving,” you set the pineapple juice aside, “Are you wanting a cocktail?” You looked to George.
“Um . . no. I’ll just have a beer.”
“A peroni,” you mocked, adding the next fruit juice as he leaned to reach for his drink, “here you go, darling!” you slid him the drink.
“Are you gonna have one?”
“No, I’m just gonna have one of these VK Vodkas,” you grabbed the cherry one, “where’s your keys?”
George got up as you finally cleared the table and got back on track, assuming the majority of that would be cut. You passed him the drink and he opened it with his bottle opener before returning to his seat next to Max, getting comfortable again.
“Is there a mug?” you asked.
“Shit, we did actually order you your own mug, we ordered one for Andrew but they didn’t come in time. They were actually quite funny,” Max laughed, looking around for one.
Let’s just say it went very well with George’s.
“Give me his mug then, I’m not drinking out this bottle,” you reached for the Daddy mug. “Not getting a . . cold sore.”
“HERPES!”
“It wasn’t herpes,” you groaned.
“Is there a difference?” Max asked.
“Yeah, herpes is through sexual contact . . I think. Cold sores can be caught like . . drinking out a dirty glass or from the sun or even if you’re really stressed. Or kissing as well.”
“And you got a big dirty cold sore before.”
“George gave me one,” you poured your drink.
“I did not give you a cold sore!”
“He gave you herpes, that’s the title.”
“I DIDN'T!”
“You literally did but ok.”
“Listen . . all I’m saying, for those that don’t know – early on in our relationship—”
“I didn’t give you herpes.”
“—is that George,” now you were laughing, “when George went to Ibiza for a week for a brand deal, when he came back, the first night, I stayed with him and was obviously,” you shrugged to the camera with the empty bottle, “kissing him and stuff–”
“—don’t say ‘and stuff’—” he grimaced.
“—and by the end of the next day, I had a big, ugly cold sore on the top of my lip, so,” you passed the empty bottle to be put in the bin, “I’m not accusing you of anything but I mean . . what hoes were you getting with in Ibiza ‘cause you passed your disease back to me.”
Max was laughing so loud, always loving that story because of the exact reason is sounded like that. “You did think he cheated on you!”
“I said to him who was he doing over there ‘cause he messed up my face,” you laughed, pushing your chair into the table. “Was wearing a covid mask in work for the next week.”
“I’ve never even had a cold sore myself! So,” he hit the table dramatically, also laughing because he knew it sounded exactly like that too. You knew back then though he obviously hadn’t dreamt of doing that, and that you probably had just drank out of a dirty glass or something.
But it was funny trying to blame him. “Passing your infections onto me.”
“I didn’t give you anything, what are you talking about?” He shook his head, feeling flustered as he rubbed his eye.
“Yet,” Max perked a brow at the camera.
“. . no.”
“No, Max.”
“Ok.”
“Yeah . . . so your ‘Starter kit for dating George Clarkey’ will consist of cold sore cream, some CeraVe moisturizer and birth control.”
“HA! Is that the starter pack?” Max laughed.
“Yes! The CeraVe is for the bloody dry skin you get from his beard,” you looked at him across the table, “I have quite sensitive skin and when his stubble starts growing back it pricks my skin and can give you Beard Burn? Beard rash? Which is why I always want him to shave! . . . I mean I think he looks better without it as well,” you gushed to the camera, “but I am the type of person who has the luck to get that. I would get red patches on my face and have to put that cream on, so there you go. Moisturizer for that, cold sore cream for the herpes he will give you and a pill soooooo—”
“So he can hit it raw.”
“So it postpones your period and he doesn’t need to deal with your complaining,” you tried, blushing trying to ignore the crude comment, “boys have it so easy.”
“OH HERE WE GO! Not even properly into the podcast and she’s already complaining!”
“Shut up,” you smiled at him.
“Fun way to kick off this episode, we’ll get into it more later but let’s start from the beginning, why don’t we?” Max announced, lifting his mug, “oh, cheers!”
“Cheers!” You clinked glasses.
“Thanks for coming on. So many of you lot asked for y/n and we delivered so, I want a big fat thank you in the comments!” Max sassed the camera, “anyway! This drink is really nice, y/n, by the way, I really like it, thank you. Um — yeah! Sorry! Anyway! Y/n, you date George, is there a reason you didn’t reveal that when I told you to tell us about yourself? Are you embarrassed of him?.”
“Oh yeah it’s humiliating,” you raised your brows, “no, of course not, I don’t know. I mean I feel like everyone already knows that. That is actually what I’m better known as, I should have said that first. George Clarkey’s girlfriend.”
“You were the Nail Girl first, now you're George’s girlfriend.”
“Yeah. Talk about downgrade.”
“You’ll get your own name some day,” George quipped, pursing his lips.
“Thanks. I know it’s coming. I was talking to that about Andrew the other day, how people know him as Andrew now instead of your boyfriend,” you looked at Max, “I miss Andrew. I wish he was here.” You laughed.
“Yeah, if you didn’t know, Andrew and y/n literally sit over there and listen in on our podcast like every week.”
“And sometimes get bored and wander off,” George added.
“Yeah, when we start laughing too loud and you tell us to leave.”
“Yeah, after his episode, the people only thought it was fair you get on and here you are. They want the leeches, leaching off our fame,” Max fakely tucked his hair behind his ear. “So tell us what that’s like! How — do people know how you two met?”
You looked at George with squinted eyes as he mirrored you, shaking his head, “I don’t think so.”
“Oh my God, it’s so long,” you facepalmed.
“Heard that one before.”
“George,” you shut down his joke, too busy thinking of how to tell your story, “so—” now you couldn't look at George because you’d start laughing again because you knew how much you both would slightly cringe when explaining the start of your relationship.
“‘Cause it was a bit all over the place, wasn’t it?”
“It was complicated a bit at the start,” you threw your boyfriend a look. “No, we – I found out about him online, obviously,” you looked to the camera, “and long story short—”
“—she’ll end up telling the long story anyway.”
“Shush! Basically I had gotten invited to these events where there was Tiktokers, that’s where I first met Grace. Grace knew who I was, or she recognised me anyway, got talking to her, got close to her ‘cause we kept getting invited to the same beauty events. So I started to follow her and like, the group surrounded around her – you were popping up, George and Joe were popping up – I knew who you were beforehand,” you held your hand out to Max, not needing to mention how it was a Disney-related video you’d discovered him on, “Joe and George I knew from Gogglebox and I was just discovering this whole different side of Tiktok ‘cause I found it very American-based before and didn’t know there were UK influencers using it— anyway! Started following her friends and that’s when he popped up,” you held your hand out to your man who smiled. “And . . I liked the look of him.”
“You fancied him.”
“I thought he was really funny, yeah, and like — but this was the thing: I knew he was good-looking and his videos were funny. I liked what I saw, like he just seemed so lovely! But also in some videos, it was like . . I sussed him out straight away.”
“Sussed me out?”
“I knew exactly what type of lad you were,” you jabbed your finger into the table, “I was like he is the type who is liked by everyone, and loads of girls fancy him, and he acts awkward and can’t talk to women, says he can never get a girlfriend when really — we all know they could get a girlfriend if they wanted to.”
“What do you mean—”
“YES!” Max clapped in agreement.
“I was like ‘he’s definitely the type who complains he never gets girls’ — not in a pick-me way but just acting like girls wouldn’t be interested in him — are you joking? He’s got the height, he’s got the build, he can make you laugh,” you unmeaningly complimented your boyfriend, “like if he wanted to . . you know . . if he really wanted to get with someone— ”
“Oh my God.”
“Do you know what I mean, though? Sticking to this narrative where he couldn’t get girls and he’s just — I just knew what type of guy he was — not that it meant I didn’t like you for that but like,” you gave him a c’mon look, “I was just not entertained by that narrative, ‘cause I felt it was very much lies.”
“Bullshit.”
“Yeah! Comments were flooded with wanting a bit of him!” you agreed with Max. George was watching you both with the most displeased look ever, which made it even funnier. “ANYWAY! Long story short, he followed me, would like a few of my things, then unlike them,” you gave a clueless look to the camera, “don’t know what that was about—”
“—oh here we go.”
“Why did you like and unlike them?!” Max shouted, hearing this 100 times.
“‘Cause I—” he laughed ‘cause he knew it sounded bad, “I dunno! I just thought it was weird, she’d post her little beauty . . nail stuff and—” and then he felt awkward and you’d think he was weird for liking that kind of content.
“Were you scared you’d give the wrong impr—”
“—ANYWAY! Giving me mixed signals, I was like ‘right you either like them or you don’t mate’, then he replied to my story once—” you raised your brows at him with a smirk.
“I reacted to it,” he corrected, “with an emoji.”
“Yeah - DELETED THAT TOO,” you gave another look at the camera.
“WHY?” Max wanted to cringe at his co-host.
“Changed my mind.”
“—because I was going to reply to it when I got home ‘cause I was in work at the time and . . you know, shoot my shot; finally start conversation to get to know him — NO. Deleted it, so I was like ‘you know what, I don’t care anymore, i’m over it.’ I don’t care—”
George was laughing so much into himself because hearing it out loud every time got funnier each time, hearing from your perspective. “—to cut short, we then matched on Tinder, not sponsored by the way—”
“Yeah! We matched on Tinder! So I knew he liked me . . I mean he swiped right, so he liked what he saw,” you looked at Max as if to confirm that theory, “so then met at a event and he asked me to do an interview for him—”
“—and she said ‘no, piss off!’—”
“I did not, George, be for real,” you tilted your head at him, “but the way he said it . . you said it so . . like you were too . . I dunno—”
“Great explanation.”
“Forward?”
“No! He was . . I don’t know! Just the way you said it, I was like no, why are you confident I’m gonna say yes? Like you said it as if we w—”
“Pretty sure all I said was ‘care to do an interview for me’ but ok—”
“NO! You said something like that! You were like ‘do this for me’,” you mocked a wink he didn’t do, “and I was just,” you were shaking your head, “like I knew you fancied me or liked me in some way and I wanted you to acknowledge it! I thought this is his chance to like . . compliment me and own up to everything — and you straight up acted like I was your mate.”
“Your mate?!”
“George you were! You said it—”
You bickered for the next 4 minutes, Max laughing in between, watching you both talk like a game of tennis how his head went from left to right. “This is brilliant.”
“-but that’s how I took it!”
“How do you know I meant it?”
“—i know because I know what yo—”
“But you didn’t know how—”
“You say this—ANYWAY! I called him out. He asked me a question about icks or whatever and I basically said. . you,” you looked at him, lips perking up in a smile as you joked. George lifted his brows at you, knowing fine rightly that was a lie.
“Well I mustn’t be that much of an ick if you agreed to go out with me the week after.”
“Well.” Touché.
“That reminds me of how I almost stopped talking to Andrew ‘cause the first he sent a voice note, he was doing an impression of a pig.”
You laughed out loud at the reminder of the funny story and nodded, “yes! That’s the vibe I was on, I was like . . . mmm wait.”
“. . . ‘Cause I asked you for an interview.”
“Because of the way you asked me, George.”
George’s smug smile grew as he watched you get defensive over the whole scenario - and he validated your point completely - he was too knobhead in asking.
“Do you still have that video?” Max asked.
“Yeah.”
You perked your eyebrow up because even you had never thought to wonder that.
“Would you ever post it?”
“Nope.”
“You’d never post it?!” Max exclaimed.
“No,” he said in an obvious tone.
“I haven’t even seen it,” you spoke up.
“Are you serious?!”
“Yeah,” George laughed, “and it’s staying that way.”
“But that could be like, your How I met your Mother moment!”
“I have it saved, I just won’t post it unless, like . . anniversary or something. Maybe one day, never say never but . . definitely not now. Still too fresh,” he coughed, forever too embarrassed to watch it back and see him get owned.
Max barely rolled his eyes and shook his head moving on, “so where was your first date? Can you explain that?”
“Oh my God,” you groaned, half-laughing because yet again, it was another dreadful story to tell.
“Jesus.”
“What?! I thought your first date was good!” Max laughed. He knew full well, the ins and outs of the story, he’d had to deal with George’s anxiety the day after he’d come to him with the fear he’d ruined it. “It can’t be as bad as mine and Andrew’s, come on now. We drank Vodka under a bridge and fucked, how can— actually, get fucked! That’s a good date if I ever heard one! We’re still together and just bought a house, so!” He raised a sassy shoulder at the camera.
You laughed and looked at George, “great, we’re not gonna last because we didn’t get drunk under a bridge and . . .”
“And what?” He knew. He knew you wouldn't say it. “And what?” He repeated, confused.
“George.”
“What?”
You sat with your eyes closed, cheeks shading pink as a smile took your face, “no.”
“This is actually funny ‘cause you can expose George and any kind of details to our weird viewers who for some reason think he’s fitter than me,” he held his arms out. “Is he packing?”
“For what?”
Even George silently rubbed his head at the joke flying over yours as you wondered where he’d set his suitcase.
“Tell us about your first date!” Max moved on.
“Ummm. Our first date didn’t go the way I wanted it to go—”
“Oh. Alright,” your man acted offended.
“NO! Not like—” you laughed again, feeling like this interview was going to be an utter shambles. “It was good! But when I look back on it, I think that . . I wasn’t . . in a way I just felt like I wasn’t myself? I wasn’t on my best behaviour, per say. Like there was so many things I reflect on and I’m like ‘oh my god, I am so lucky he didn’t see me this way or think this of me.’”
“Why?!” Max laughed. “What do you mean?!”
“I mean like . .” you thought back to the night that both felt like yesterday but also years ago. “So for starters . . we - we were drunk at times,” you looked at George as you felt like you’d finally admitted this to each other for the first time. “Like, we get dabbling in and out of sobriety, one minute we were sober, one minute I was a drink away from treating it like a night out, so I kept trying to pace myself but I-I definitely felt the weight of a few drinks and if definitely had an effect on my confidence.”
“What’d you mean? You’re confidence was great?” George looked at you lost.
“YEAH! ‘Cause I was four pints gone!”
Max laughed loudly. George did too, kind of relating to that statement himself as he knew he’d needed a drink or two to have been able to have even spoken to you.
“Then I was showing off, doing cart wheels, smashing glasses, talking nonsense to him in some random person’s room—”
“Yeah! This is what I agree with! I didn’t like the fact Arthur and Alex and such all ended up being with us. And you!” George pointed to the blond, “I thought you were gonna take that the wrong way as if I’d just invited my mates out!”
“Was I there?!”
Now that he’d said, you’d realised Max had been there, “yeah! You were!”
“What? I don’t remember that at all!”
“Neither did I until you said!” You looked at your boyfriend. “Yeah! You were!”
“Y/n I introduced myself to you for the first time like . . at dinner.”
“-and you’d met her before that as well, so.”
“Shut up, no I didn’t!” He looked at George, “how?!”
“At the fuckin’ event I met her at,” he stated.
Max sat with his hand on his mouth, in deep thought as he tried to recall the first time he’d spoken to you face to face. “Was I drunk?”
“Yes.” You both answered in sync.
“On both occasions?”
“Yes.” You both repeated.
“Oh my God, get fucked,” he gasped, “really?!”
“Yeah!” You laughed. “No but I told you I didn’t mind that,” you addressed George again, “we’ve been over this, but I felt bad about that too ‘cause I basically told you to get them out—”
“That’s not the only thing she told you to get out that night—”
“Oh my days,” you shook your head at him amusedly, “no but I thought that too, and then . . just when I think of everything I did, I think ‘no! Why did you do that!’ Even kissing him, beforehand I was like ‘y/n, if it goes well, don’t be afraid to give a little kiss. A little peck’ — no. I was a whore on that train platform.”
Max and you laughed out loud while George shook and dropped his head to hide his face at your take, “NO! I don’t know what happened! Couldn't get my leg up and around him enough! My skirt - oh my god my skirt was a nuisance the whole night, it wouldn't stay down—”
“Huh, clearly.”
You opened your mouth but closed it knowing you’d just laugh, “-no, it wouldn’t stay down—”
“Wasn’t the only thing unable to stay down—”
“Ay up.”
“I KNEW you were gonna say that!” You looked amused at your boyfriend biting his tongue after making his little joke. “What was I talking about?”
“About you being a mega slut,” Max snapped his finger.
“Oh yeah! So even kissing, the next day I was like ‘who the hell do you think you are?’ I can’t even remember if there were people around, I don’t know—”
“Y/n, we didn’t shag in the underground,” George piped in.
“—WELL it felt to that extreme for me ‘cause I was barely planning on going in for a kiss and then—”
“–and then she had one too many beers and- weren’t you drinking beer?”
You cringed again, hiding your face in your hands, “yeah I was drinking flippin’ Guiness.”
Now it was George's turn to laugh because this would be a memory he would never forget. “YES!”
“But I put them in Martini glasses so they looked like Espresso Martinis,” you peaked through your hands awaiting Max to laugh some more at you. You were convinced some of the crew were laughing as well. “‘Cause I took a craving for one, it must have been when everyone was posting about Baby Guinness or something and I wanted a proper pint and I don’t know! I just didn’t want him to think I was like . . some weirdo — who craves a Guiness?! Didn’t want him to think I was like,” you could not tell this story with a straight face, the laughs and giggle slipping out of you between every word, “a pick-me like ‘oo, I’m not like other girls, I drink beer’ whatever, but then I didn’t want him to think I was spiritually some frickin’ 50-year-old man—”
“Spiritually a 50-year-old man,” they laughed at you as you deflated to a facepalm, cheeks pink and sore from smiling with embarrassment.
“Yeah, it was just . . not how I would have liked it to have gone but . . here we are.”
“But it worked out.”
“Yeah, I was just scared I’d given an awful impression ‘cause I did really like him, and I wanted to prove I wasn’t . . that.”
“Aw, bless. And you did get to prove you weren’t just a Martini-drinking liar.”
“Yeah! The one after was much more . .”
“Orderly,” George announced.
“Yes, orderly. The first was fun but we just . .”
“It wasn’t us.”
“Yeah. I mean it clearly was but as a first impression on a date, I would have never— George, we didn’t even go to dinner, did we?”
George laughed even more as he thought of that, “no.”
“Like we didn’t even go to dinner,” you spoke with your hand out, laughing with his co-host, “we went to mini-golf but didn’t make it to dinner.”
“Who won mini-gold again?”
“Oh shush,” you rolled your eyes, “literally made fun of me from the first date, critiquing my golfing skills!”
“Of course he was,” Max rolled his eyes for you as he spun in his seat.
“You know what, it was a good date, ultimately, I mean we came back for each other so we clearly weren’t that . . put off. I was just filled with anxiety after it, in case I ruined it, but it’s fine.”
“How did you ask her to be your girlfriend?”
George looked at you as you looked back at him, letting him tell this story, probably in a much shorter, time-saving way.
George asking you to be your girlfriend was nothing big, nothing extraordinary, but the most adorable situation you could have witnessed. You’d just came back from a day full of activities, very . . casual if you both. A little shopping, quick Nando’s date, running more errands, cute movie date, and a nice walk home at night through London, arm in arm in your padded coats, talk and laughing, smiling like idiots next to the other:
You both fell to his bed, too lazy to move, already making plans for tomorrow for all the things you didn’t get to do, wanting to get out of your jeans but not having the energy to rummage through your case for a pair of pjs. You didn’t know what triggered it but George started being all weird, you were just talking about how you’d had a nice week off work and how you got to spend the whole week with him, expressing your growing fondness of London, and he got all . . not George.
No wittiness, no sarcastic remark, he started fiddling with the bit of paper on his dresser, a receipt you’d both inspected like an old married wondering why their weekly Tesco shop was up £1.40. You watched him be all cute, rambling words, not looking at you, trying not to laugh himself because he knew he was being awkward. You knew it was coming. You knew by his face and the way he was behaving, and it was the cutest an funniest thing for the both of you. ‘I was supposed to get you flowers.’
‘Why?’
He shrugged.
And then he passed you a little makeshift ‘bouquet’ from the receipt: rolled up in a cone shape with more crumpled balls of paper inside as some flowerheads. It was actually impressive and . . genuinely romantic on his end? ‘Thanks,’ you beamed in awe. ‘What kind are they?’
‘Uhhhh Peonies,’ he went with your joke.
‘Aw,’ you beamed, genuinely adored by them. Anyone would have crumbled it and put it in her bin by now. But you looked at him in awe at how cute he was, but still could see him in his head. He knew you were looking at him over your shoulder. ‘Peony for your thoughts?’
He looked at you with his mouth open.
You expected that, ‘that was so bad! Wasn’t it!’
‘Did you just — did you just make a flower pun?’ He said in disbelief.
You nodded breathlessly, embarrassed to be laughing at your own terrible, terrible joke. You didn’t blame him if he didn’t want to see you anymore, but you had one opportunity and you took it. Oh well.
‘Be my girlfriend?’
The laughter stopped.
You looked at him with raised brows, not knowing you’d heard properly, but he looked up at you and both your expressions had curious yet nervous eyes. You could feel your heart swooning, seeing his little shy smile and his bloody thumb nail between his teeth he bit at anxiously.
You nodded, excitedly, mouth too dry to speak. ‘Y—are you serious?’
‘Yeah,’ he laughed. Of course he did, are you kidding?!
‘Really?’
‘Yeah,’ he laughed, touching your leg to show his genuine ds. Now he was laughing at your behavior but you were so taken aback and flattered. That was the most wholesome thing you’d ever experienced, oh my god!
You loved him so much already.
“I wouldn’t change a thing about it.”
“I just asked her at home, it was nothing special.”
“BOOO! Y/n you deserve better, darlin’.”
“No it was actually sweet, it was casual but not too casual like . . it was cute. It was perfect. For me.”
“So what’s it like? I don’t mean to sound like a married man of 50 years, I been with Andrew almost 2 years but like, you’re both still in that firsts time period . . I mean how long have you been together? 7-8 months?”
“Yeah.” It’d be a year around Fall/Winter.
“I mean it feels longer, for me, personally,” Max already said, “I’m sure the same feels for you, i’m like is that it?”
“Yeah. It is weird because this time last year we didn’t have a clue about each other. November-December is when I started coming up to London a lot more and meeting everyone. Your podcast launch party was the first time I was around everybody, even his old friends back home and his sister, I met them but not as his girlfriend ‘cause we were playing it on the down low!”
“Oh yeah,” George smiled lazily as he recalled. I mean he’d introduced you, Max and Andrew to Emily at the same time and although he didn’t outright say ‘this is my girlfriend’, Emily knew her brother was up to something from the way he’d taken his time to bring you over. Also, from your shyness and his lack of description about who you were — it didn’t take much to put together the pieces a little something was there.
“I mean yeah, I guess you’re right, I feel like we’re just now . . growing out of those firsts.”
“She can now officially go downstairs in my house make herself a cup of tea without me needing to be there.” George looked at the camera.
It panned to show who was hiding your face embarrassingly because even though it sounded so silly out loud - it was true.
“I GET THAT THOUGH!” Max defended you.
“No, she was the biggest melt—”
“GEORGE! You have a cheek to say this when you were the same in mine!”
“NO! Y/n, you — even in the flat, you used to make me come downstairs with you to go to the kitchen when Arthur and Alex were in their rooms.” He deadpanned.
“I know but it’s a matter of principle, I don’t want Alex or Arthur walking in on me looking like I’m making myself at home, taking over the house like it’s my own.”
“. . . ‘cause you’ve made yourself a cup of tea?”
His sarcasm made you want to scrape out your eyeballs at times.
“I get that, you don’t want to make it look like you’ve made yourself comfortable in their home and them wishing ‘she’d go back to her own place’.”
“Exactly. Like especially in his Mum and Dad’s,” you defended yourself.
“Oo yeah, so how did meeting the parents go? Was that fun?”
“First time I met her parents, her dad!—” George interrupted to tell the story himself, “her dad—the first thing I hear her dad say the second we open the door is ‘fell into that bastard tree again, arms pissing blood, Susan.”
“Susan?! Is your Mum’s name Susan?!”
“No, I just said it ‘cause I didn’t want to expose her name, I dunno—”
“Wait, her Dad was just bleeding out when you met him?” Max laughed more.
“Her dad is nothing - her parents are nothing like her,” he stated, “I mean they are, but also not.”
Removing your face from your hands, you interrupted, “I told them to be ready! I told them we were on our way, I said be ready. Make sure the house is tidy, yada yada yada— step through the door and they both look so surprised to see me? My Dad’s just stood there in the hallway, in his bloody illuminous work jacket, sleeve rolled down, arm scraped with blood from the flipping tree he was was clearly to fight?”
Max laughed out loud.
“My Mum’s behind him with her glass of wine like ‘oh. Hello love!’ I’m mortified, I’m thinking ‘have these two just seriously forgotten about what we were doing today? The thing I've been texting them, reminding them about the past week to be prepared’ and this is how it goes.”
“Chaotic greeting.”
“I liked it ‘cause I was obviously shitting myself,” George looked to the ceiling for a second, thinking back to the anxiety he faced the entire journey. “I was mentally preparing myself in my head the the whole time. She was obviously being all ‘no my dad’s cool like you’ve nothing to worry about, they’ll really like you’ — the same thing everyone says, but I was like no. No y/n. Don’t take this in a bad way,” he held his hands out defensively as you perked a brow at him, “but judging you just by your mannerisms and-and the way you say things when we first met—”
“—I’d expect your parents to be very . . classy people.” Max gave his 2 pence. “Like I can see where your going with this — I imagine your parents would be the same, actually,” he looked George up and down, “posh boy.”
George understood. “Yeah, I fully prepared them to be like . . reserved.”
Reserved?
“And like . . solem—”
Solem?
“Uhhhh,” he nervously laughed, “yeah. And then we walked in and your dad said ‘that bastard tree got me again’ and the tension was already broken ‘cause I got to see what he was really like. And then he proceeded to tell me his struggles trying to chop down the trees out your back garden and how he was fighting with your neighbors because they wouldn’t give him permission to cut down the one in their garden and him proceeding to say he was gonna do it anyway in the middle of the night and make it look like it was the wind.” He rambled.
You laughed and laughed because that was exactly true. Max was baffled to hear this and completely amused at the information of your very reckless father. Nothing like you at all! “What?! Your—your dad?”
“Her Dad is nothing like her!”
“My dad is the type of dad who . . got arrested when he was my age whilst I . . never even got a detention in school,” you riddled off.
“NO!”
“Yeah.”
“Shut up! Where’d you come from then?!”
“This is what I’m saying!” George turned to him.
“Yeah. I mean he’s still like me in some aspects, but . . yeah, he’s that type of dad.”
“What about your mum?”
“My mum is more like me I’d say?”
George shook his head.
“George yes she is!”
“She’s not, she’s more laidback.”
“She’s like a 50 year old woman, she doesn’t care about certain things the way I do. They don’t care how they come across at that age,” you squinted your eyes.
“Your mum is like you in the way she speaks and mannerisms but like . . she’s-she — put it this way: she literally had me talking about . . your thongs in the living room.”
You facepalmed with both your hands with a slap.
The boys laughed at your easy embarrassment as you recalled how your mother had in fact, brought up your quote-on-quote ‘skimpy underwear’ in front of your new beau. Complaining whilst saying she’d done your laundry and left a pile of the ‘strings’ on your bed. George laughed, and she nodded at him: ‘aren’t they! They’re like bloody dental floss! I’m surprised the washing machine hasn’t sucked them in yet!’
“She’s a comfortable person.”
“She just doesn’t—I don’t—if I can sum my mother up: I am more of a ‘mum! close the door!’ person while she is a ‘oh we all have the same bits, y/n’ type gal.” You mimicked her perfectly. “And then I’ll probably be that at her age with my daughter and the cycle will continue, but for now . . no. Let me hide my bits.” You laughed across from Max.
“That is such a perfect way to describe your dynamic,” he was impressed.
“Yeah. But yeah, she literally brought up my knickers to him within an hour of talking to him—”
“She strikes me as that mother who is like ‘oh well I know he’s seen your knickers before!’ or like ‘we all have sex, y/n!’”
“Yeah! And it’s like calm down!”
“Yeah! I get her vibe,” he smiled.
“Like there is a time and place.”
“That’s so fun, though. I mean I met your mum. And so did Andrew, actually, not too long ago.”
“Yeah,” you laughed.
“Legend. But we’ll not get into that,” he wiped his eyebrow.
“The dog approved too.”
“Oh yes! Your dog! What’s her name again?”
“Guess,” George said, poking fun at you. “Guess what she named her.”
“Isn’t it like . . Princess or something?”
“No! Her name’s Roxy?!”
“Like from Eastenders!”
“. . . yeah.”
“Mongrel.”
“DON'T EVEN ACT like you aren’t obsessed with her. George doesn’t know how to act around her, I swear, he doesn’t know what to do first! You love her.”
He couldn’t even lie ‘cause he did - he loved that dog. He was a little obsessed. “He used to think I was weird being an only child ‘til I found out he’s never had a dog? Never had a family pet?! Sorry but that’s even weirder, love. A red flag even.”
“Uh, had a hamster.”
“Very different from a cat or dog. I’m gonna top up my drink,” you grabbed a different tin. “But yeah she approved. She’s obsessed back, to be fair.”
“She’s actually such a good dog, she’s so good?” George clearly showed his lack of never having a pet. “She walks so well and runs with me when I take her out?” They were like 2 kids.
“Yeah, you’ll be able to take care of her no problem if we were out of the country or something, she’d love it,” you awed, missing the Beagle. “I bought her a new collar the other day.”
“What colour is it, pink?” George mocked you, already pulling up pics on his phone he’d taken of the pretty dog.
“. . yeah.”
What was the point in a girl dog if you didn’t have her in pink collars, leads, bowls, beds and bows?!
“She is cute. Probably more liked than my dog,” Max laughed, thinking of his little, old dog.
George continued scrolling through pics, distracted. “She loves me.”
“She does. He takes her out all the time and tries to get her to sleep on the bed but I don’t let her.”
“So you don’t love her that much,” he quipped.
“I’m not getting dog hair on my bed! And she takes up so much room!”
“Don’t love her.”
“And what about George’s parents then, how'd that go? I assume they hate you, like everyone else because . . well you’re just the worst. Miserable bitch.”
George was laughing, rubbing his eye but hit co-hosts arm as well. “Shut up.”
You responded with a shy laugh, “I mean I think they like me, I like to think they like me as I have been welcomed endlessly back to their house and invited ‘round every chance I get. And also been included on the family holiday in the Summer.”
“Have you!” Max awed, “that’ll be fun! You didn’t tell me about that!”
“Was only booked like last week.” George shrugged.
“Aw! How fun! So with your Mum and Dad? And sister?”
“Yep.”
“And her boyfriend?”
“If he can get it off work, yeah. If not — Em can do the third wheeling this time,” he said smugly, knowing it had always been him to do it. I mean is there anything worse than walking behind your mum and dad holding hands and your sister and her boyfriend whilst you walk next to nobody.
“Oh my God, how you gonna shag with his Mum and Dad next door?”
“Jesus Christ,” George sighed.
“Is this part of the interview still?” You laughed.
“Yeah! That’s actually our deal breaker question,” Max cackled, setting down his drink from laughing. “Seriously though! Would you?” He wondered, “have you? Have you ever had sex with your parents in the house?”
“Here he goes off in one of his sidetracks,” you looked over at George who nodded in understanding.
“Why you both ignoring my question?” He tried to stand his ground, although laughing because you were right.
“Have you?” You backfired.
“I,” he paused, “I don't know. I don’t think I have, you know. Not with Andrew anyway, I don’t think. Maybe when I was younger and had no other choice. I didn’t have a house, I didn’t have a place to go to,” he laughed to himself. “Have you?” He asked again. “Have you? I feel like you would have to.” He turned to George.
“I . . would never.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I would never,” he emphasised, throwing his head back.
“I dunnoooo,” Max teased, completely clueless to any truth in your answers. “I mean— wait.”
Your head was in your hands anyway..
“Because how . . . you literally live with your parents, and you share a flat, so— who— how,” he became very confused, “how do you actually?”
“I’m a virgin,” you replied.
He snapped his fingers. “Oh yessss.”
“Yeah. Duh!” You played on the internet’s little interpretation of you. I mean you might as well have been before you met George. “Are you kidding?”
“Sorry, sorry, that’s right,” he played along, “forgot.”
“Yeah, Max, we’re waiting ‘til marriage?” George said sassily, but his eyes told different as he looked playfully at the camera.
“I forgot! I’m sorry!” He tried to be serious. “Of course! You have your purity ring on right now.”
“Yeah.”
It was a cheap ring from Zara.
Besides, answering that question was difficult in itself. You weren’t even going to go into detail about how you forced George every time to come with you downstairs to the garage to use the toilet that wasn’t even a toilet — but it had to be done because you were certainly not getting a UTI!
But you weren’t going into Arthur Hill’s room either, in the middle of the night after getting your back blown by his roommate.
But God, George hated you for trailing you both down there:
‘Hurry! up! Come down with me now! Please, darlin.’
‘Can you not go by yourself?’
‘No! I’m scared!’ You’d squeak at the thought of going down that scary underground, ‘and my legs,’ you’d whine, laughing pathetically trying to guilt trip him.
He’d scoff, and you’d have the ultimate excuse. ‘Maybe if you had a proper bathroom, I wouldn’t need to do this’ you’d say, holding his hand in the dark as you’d go downstairs with trembling legs.
“Moving on. So the parents approved? And siblings?”
“Yeah. I mean I think so.”
“My Mum loves you,” George sighed like it was obvious and he didn’t need to tell you.
But you did like to hear it anyway.
“Em was a bit protective, she wasn’t as easy as your Mum and Dad, I feel.”
“Ooo, why’s that?! Spill!”
“Just because like,” I mean to save the full story for another day, you kept it short, “I don’t have a brother but I have my cousins and I know what it’s like when they bring someone home that you might be apprehensive about. I think Emily thought I was some . . stuck up, prissy influencer w—”
“You are.”
“GEORGE?!”
“Literally, spot on? Princess of the family- what?”
Your mouth hung open, not fighting your case.
“Are you the princess of the family?”
“IS SHE?!” George responded sarcastically, the joke noe turning serious, “you’re not prissy, stuck up-“ he quickly sidetracked, “princess of the family?!! Absolutely.”
You crossed your arms across from him and raised your brow.
But he took it as a challenge and mimicked you with his facts, “you are, Y/n. You know you are.”
“How?!”
“How are you not?! You’re,” oh he was getting heated, not irritated but maddened how you played dumb to this statement. “Only child, only daughter. First Granddaughter on one side, youngest granddaughter on the other,” he looked baffled, “what else do I need to say?”
Now you were smiling kind of bashfully in his direction, knowing he was completely right and you couldn’t even joke a lie. “Ok and what?”
“So don’t say you’re not?” He replied, the both of you looking across at one another.
“I don’t know how that makes me a ‘princess’—“
George just tilted his head unimpressed.
You looked back at him, sassily.
You aren’t the princess, right?
“Spoiled.”
“I am not!”
“You are,” he laughed. You just weren’t bratty.
In most ways.
“Are you saying i’m spoiled?”
“I’m saying you’re . .”
“You’re . . ?”
“Uhhhh what was the question,” he smiled, looking at his notes.
“George!”
“Favourited?” Max gave his 2 pence.
“Oh yeah! Em! You thought she didn’t like you.”
“No, I know she didn’t like me. Well, unsure of me is better put. What I saying before I was rudely interrupted,” you jokingly shot a look at your boyfriend who couldn’t have given less of a F, “I think she was very apprehensive, which I get and validate completely, I know what it’s like to have that protective streak over your younger relatives, especially when they have a heart of gold and deserve someone as loving as them. Trust me, there is nothing worse than your —I don’t have a brother but my cousin Dan is literally the closest thing I have— relative to bring home someone that is just . .” you didn’t even have the words, “appalling.”
“Dan, the ladies you bring home are wonderful, she doesn’t know what you’re talking about—”
“GEORGE!” You scolded and he immediately laughed because even he knew he couldn’t joke about that, “no! Don’t even! Like Dan knows he has bad taste, he attracts the worst— I’m sorry, I am not a judgey person, I see the best in everyone, do what makes you happy, but when you go on a date with a girl and she’s already expects you to get her a £400 Vivienne Westwood watch— I think you need to sit back and look at what you’re dealing with, mate.”
“YOU WHAT?” Max gasped, appalled.
“Some girls expect flowers on the 2nd date, some expect Rolex watches, you can’t—”
“George,” you sighed, not even giving him a laugh. “Yeah, we’ll not get into it. Dan, I love ya: sort your life out. But yeah! She was perfectly valid for holding back.”
“—but she did think you were an influencer with no proper job, stuck up and a bit prudish.”
“She did,” you agreed, “and I laugh at it now but I was genuinely upset about it. I didn’t tell you ‘cause you wouldn’t get it but I got it as a girl-to-girl thing? And then overtime it just . . she found out I did work and didn’t plan on being an influencer and noticed the effort I was putting in being with you, and–and didn’t threaten to break up with you when you tried to smother me under your disgusting sweaty armpit after being at the gym,” you grinned, thinking back on the memory.
Now Em couldn’t imagine you out of the family. She couldn’t comprehend how you had picked her brother. How her brother had landed you.
“Yeah you’re best friends now.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
“She thought you’d take advantage of him.”
“Yeah,” you looked dead at the camera. “Me . . take advantage . . of him.”
George laughed out loud.
“What did Alex and Arthur say first time you came to the flat?”
“They were nice. The first few times I was obviously timid like, I feel like your friends approvals is such a big thing, but I think they liked me. I annoyed them at the start because I was so shy and just wasn’t breaking barriers and Alex especially was like ‘you were asking me to help you do a handstand on Saturday, don’t act all awkward now eating breakfast,’ know what I mean? He knew what I was like and didn’t get why I still felt shy.”
The house didn’t have the thickest walls either, not backing your sweet and shy facade anyway when you were up in your man’s room for the night.
“And then one day I did his nails for him, I just painted them black, but it was our bonding experience. And now I seem to do them.”
“And do you like London? Can you actually tell us like, what your routine is as a couple? Like how do your schedules work, do you feel like you see each other a lot or do you wish you had more time— run me through it.”
“In the beginning it wasn’t as much as it is now, because I was taking on clients for my coworker who was on maternity leave so I was working more than I usually do? And for that reason I thought like . . this wasn’t going to work out. I thought George wasn’t gonna have the patience and get fed up with us having to suit each other’s time slots, which I wouldn't have blamed him for. I was very apprehensive at the start. I really thought he wasn’t going to stick to it, ‘cause he was traveling down to Brighton more than I would be going to London, it’s a 2-hour drive, 3-hour long train journey — yeah. Fully expected him to give up. Which - fair enough. Whatever.”
You’d be crushed, let’s face it.
“Did you ever consider thinking of breaking it off?”
But George casually shook his head without missing a beat.
You tried not to smile so obviously.
“I said I wouldn’t do long distance. I thought an hour was long, two hours a hassle — I was still in Bristol not officially moved out, that's a three hour drive,” he emphasised, pushing his finger in the desk, “and I did that willingly, so. Don’t ever listen to what I say ‘cause I speak a load of balls—”
Max was already laughing, remembering him clearly say so about his thoughts on that almost a year ago.
“But yeah, we made it work. My shifts went back to normal, kind of runs well anyway ‘cause he’s usually doing stuff during the day anyway. I just stay over all the time and get the train back and forth. Although the only thing that annoys me is the time he chooses to go to the gym,” you couldn’t hide your expression as you spoke on the topic, “goes at stupid o’clock.”
George laughed, knowing how much that did get on your nerves. You were all for him doing what he needed to do, but I mean . . “I want to get into bed, tired after a long day, doing whatever we’ve done and then he’s like ‘right i’m off to the gym’ — no?! Get into bed so we can watch a movie or something and snuggle? I have to deal with him coming back all energised, messing about — throwing himself on me after I’ve showered and got changed into my pyjamas!”
He was laughing, knowing it was true as he thought of you in that sleepy state, fighting the agitation as he would try to annoy you by getting you under his armpit with his sweaty t-shirt, ruining the calm, relaxing aura you had created for yourself. But you always laughed whilst fighting him off. ‘I actually can’t stand you,’ you’d say with the biggest grin, finally pushing him away.
“Have you been to the gym together before?”
“We've done it like once or twice but I can’t be bothered. I’d be needing to go again, oh my days! I’ve got so bad at eating healthy, I have packed the pounds on since being with you,” you blamed George, “and I wouldn't even be annoyed if it mean I wouldn't need to buy new clothes! My skirt,” you dramatically paused, holding a hand up, “the skirt I wore on our first date, not even a year ago, doesn’t fit me anymore!”
Max clapped his hands with a laugh. “HA! Brilliant!”
“NO! It’s awful!” You cried, “I made a TikTok the other day of me trying to put it on and I don’t even want to post it! George is behind me, tugging it with his life, he is lifting me off the floor — and this skirt will not go past my hips.” You frowned amusingly. “Literally off the floor from the belt loops.”
“It’s so funny,” your boyfriend commented.
“It’s a joke! I’m so annoyed,” you groaned, “it’s ‘cause by the time I get home, I always just grab something on the way to his house. George, what am I like coming home from work with a bloody kebab or chippy under my arm? Every time! She’s getting beefy.”
“She’s getting thick is what I’m hearing.”
“I’m not complaining about anything,” George added, not knowing there were cons to you (as Max said) getting thick.
“It’s annoying ‘cause George, like every boyfriend, will eat twice as much as I do. On a daily basis. He’s a big boy. He eats my leftovers, if there is food left- he will eat it! He eats the scraps. He’s a bin! It’s boyfriend law!”
“It is boyfriend law.” George agreed.
“But he actually burns it off! I’ll bring a chippy home, he’ll ‘pick at it’ -he eats it all- and then will go to the gym to burn it off while I . . . don’t.”
But hey, wasn’t packing on a few a sign you were in a very healthy relationship?
“I’m with you,” Max agreed. “I’d need to lie down after a few goujons.”
“I’ve gotten so lazy.” You ushered.
”You are lazy, you literally try to nap the moment you get through my bedroom door—”
“‘Cause I been working all day and travelling all day!—”
“Yeah, and you don’t want to do anything ev—”
“Yes I do! I literally just need to close my eyes for 15 minutes—” you laughed, hating how he was calling you out.
“She comes in, falls on my bed, I’m usually editing or eating at my computer—”
“I step through the door and he’s like ‘what d’you want to do!’ and every time I’m laying there going ‘let me lie down a minute’—”
“She honestly takes a 15 minute break—”
“It helps! It’s all I can do before I have to get up and we do something!” Afterall, you of course wanted to spend time with him, you didn’t buy that train ticket just to sleep in his bed. But you did need a moment after a long day.
“She will not move ‘til she gets that 15 minute ‘nap’ which is basically her just closing her eyes but she’s convinced it is what gets her through the rest of the evening—”
You were laughing too much to interrupt him, finding it funny yourself. “I do?!”
“Is that your pet peeve? What’s your pet peeve about one another? Does the nail biting annoy you?”
“It’s not a pet peeve but it does annoy me a bit, the sight and sound of it is annoying but I don’t be raging. He looks at me and does it though,” you held your hand out to the very childish 23-year-old.
“What’s yours?”
George shrugged, biting his nails.
You shook your head at him, seeing his grin, “you’re a dick.”
“WOAH! Language please! This is a workplace!” Max shouted, “y/n doesn’t actually swear that much so that’s actually kind of funny but um,” he fake tucked his hair behind his ear, trying to seem professional.
“Uh, yeah she does!” George looked at him extremely confused, pointing to you, “what you—”
“No she doesn’t.”
“Yes she bloody does,” he looked at Max amused, “are you joking?!”
“I literally never hear her swear.”
George looked at you with him mouth open, offended by these lies. “I’m sick of this narrative—”
“I don’t?” You sided with Max.
George tilted his head, not even kidding around.
“I don’t?!”
“I can confirm right now such profanity does leave her mouth on a daily basis—”
“GEORGE!”
“IT DOES?! See!” He pointed at your uncontrollable smile, “you know yourself!”
“I don’t even,” you laughed.
“I get called a dickhead first thing in the morning!”
“GEORGE?!” How could he out you like that? Without context?
“SEE! You know!” He laughed, not letting you get away with that facade.
“‘Cause you are,” you lowly giggled, knowing exactly why you would say such thing. I mean who was a morning person? And who wanted to get woken up by the sound of their boyfriend waking you up in the most annoying ways possible?! Who liked to be held back in a headlock when you were bursting for that first wee in the morning?! “You are a nuisance going to bed with and waking up to.”
“I just know you bring out all the swearing from her,” Max typed on his keyboard.
“N—Wh—HOW?! What do I do?!”
“HE DOES! You’re so right!” You nodded with Max, “he provokes it.”
“So I deserve it?”
“When I’m barely awake and you’re tickling me to wake up, yeah, I’m not gonna be ecstatic, mate,” you deadpanned. I mean you always said it in a night-hearted way.
“Mate.”
Your giddy smile grew as he stared at you, nodding, knowing you knew you messed up.
“Probably my pet peeve, I’m not your mate . . I’m your employer,” he neatly tucked the papers in line, provoking a laugh out of his co-host.
“Yeah keep if professional please, leave whatever fights you had at home— what was your first fight? Have you had a proper fight yet?” Max let his curiosity get the best of him as he asked the question without overthinking it. “Is that too personal?”
But you and George were already staring cockily across from each other, knowing smiles on your faces the answer and full story sitting in your heads. You knew the camera would just cut from you to him with the silence.
“What’s going on?”
“You can answer that.” You piped.
“No you can answer that,” he smiled, directing his attention to something on the desk.
“WAIT! I remember your first fight!” Max smiled widely, “I remember this! Wasn’t it over—”
“Ah! Let’s not get into it,” George jokingly silenced him.
“‘Cause he knows it was his doing,” you teased, watching him refuse eye-contact.
You’d get the full story told one day, but for now, you could do with a short sum up.
“It was your fault to be fair—”
“It wasn’t even a fight, it wasn’t even an argument - it was more of an argument-disagreement thing where like, I was like, fine, I’m going home for a few days. I’ll not see you then,” you explained your side. “But it was over . .”
“Tell them what it was over.”
“It was basically over fake tan and make-up and mess— but! In my defence! I—”
“NO! You don’t get to explain your side!” George hushed you, moving his hands like he had 3-inch acrylics on.
You looked at him baffled by his sass. “It was your doing—”
“Of course it was, of course it was my fault,” George sarcastically rolled his eyes like he was so stupid for thinking it was anyone else’s. “Silly me!”
“No it literally was! Don’t even get on like that!” You held your arm out.
When you’d explain it, it would make sense.
But it was. It was his fault. His bad combination of loving a clean room and having a beauty queen significant other who doesn’t tidy up after her makeup routine ‘til the following days.
“Your fault.” He said after 2 minutes.
“George!”
George was hiding his grin in his hand while Max grabbed the photos from the printer to ask his next segment of questions. “So, here we have a few pictures we found on the internet. Some from your Instagram, some from yourmum’sfacebookwegotGeorgetoscreenshot—” he coughed, “and I just want you to tell us the story behind them, okay?”
“Ok.”
“Here is your first photo,” your boyfriend pushed over the page. Behold, it was actually two photos on one sheet, the first of you in a pink leotard, sitting in on your ballet class at 4 years old. The one next to it was you around 13, catching your Mum taking the picture before a recital you clearly could not be bothered to do, as you could see from your unimpressed gaze.
“Great.”
“Are you a ballerina then? You’ve done some ballet lessons?”
“Yeah,” you tried to say with pride rather than embarrassment. “Yeah, I did ballet for about 12 years, yeah.”
“I just wanna dance in the ballet!” Your boyfriend mocked the sound on TikTok.
“Wow! That’s impressive, what made you choose that?”
“I don’t know, just . . intrigued me I guess, at that age.”
“Huh. We have our ballet babe and you who did rugby, what a contrast in aesthetics?” Max compared you both.
“Literally, you couldn’t get any different,” you smiled.
But hey, what ballerina didn’t want a big rugby lad to pick her up?
“And did you enjoy it?”
“Yeah, ‘course. As I got older, I got tired of it, the more ‘extreme’ it got, I suppose, new teachers getting more and more less empathetic— yeah, dropped it I think after GCSEs. But I did enjoy it growing up.”
“I’m imagining it to be like Dance Moms? Was it as extreme at that? Or is that reality TV just brainwashing my brain.” He embarrassingly laughed.
“Personally, my class and teachers were grand when I was younger - as I got older, I suppose it’s like anything, it’s more serious, there’s more pressure in perfecting displays when competitions came along and the fun is taken out of it. I was one of the nice ones, I wouldn’t say anything, but there were girls who would fight our corner and . . release their inner Dance Mom I feel.”
“Did they put you on certain diets and stuff?”
“I mean it wasn't mandatory but they did push a healthy diet.”
“I imagine your Mum to be an Almond Mum.”
Silence fell on the table as you looked to one another, your boyfriend eventually breaking it with a loud, uncontrollable tee-hee.
“Like your Mum gives me that vibe.”
“I get that. She’s not though. Thankfully,” you smiled, tilting your head at the blond. “But yeah. I look back on it and think of the cute memories and lifelong friends I made, but you just outgrow stuff. I mean it’ll stay with me forever,” you raised your brows.
“How high can you get your leg up?”
You looked at an excited Max while George leaned back in his seat, ready to observe the show, knowing his co-host would push you to show off.
“I wish I was a flexible queen,” Max watched with his chin on his hand as you stood up, showing the swiftness you had to crank you leg up ‘til your foot was by your head. A very lazy développé.
“OH MY GOD!” Max imagined the discomfort whilst his co-host laughed at his reaction next to him. “Right, let me try.”
Nothing was funnier than watching the blond hate on himself for nothing being able to to raise his leg any higher than the table top. “WHY CAN’T I DO IT?!”
“Sit down before you hurt yourself!” You and George were like parents trying to get him to stop. While trying not to laugh.
“WHY—” his croc kept hitting off the table when he dropped his leg. “OH MY GOD!”
“Look what you’ve started.”
“He asked!” You excused.
“Fuck you Mum for not pushing me to stretch every morning. Now look at me.”
You hid with your hand, not wanting to take part in his one-on-one with his mum.
“Flexible bitch. I’m sure that comes in handy.” He sassed, jealous, flipping his imaginary hair.
“There is nothing I can name that comes in handy,” you reassured.
“I can think of something,” he didn’t even want to look at you with his faux bitterness.
George swayed in his computer chair, eyes flicking from one to another, and apprehensively to the camera.
He could think of something too.
He could think of a few things.
“I’m talking about when George bends you into a pretzel—”
“Oh my god,” you dropped your gaze to the table, nothing else to say. George put his head in his hand, like he was already tired of him in this interview and it’d only just started.
“Did you like that one?”
“No! You just compared me to a pretzel!”
“Remember the days George used to complain he was as single as a piece of celery? Well now he’s a whore,” Max aggressively tucked the pages in line, “shagging machine—”
George was so confused but so amused by his tangent. “What the fuck?”
“I hope your Mum and Dad are listening,” he pulled the mic closer, “your son is a horn—”
“What is he actually talking about?” You chuckled across from your man.
“I don’t know because we’re both obviously virgins,” he got to his feet to get himself another drink instead of bothering you for one.
“How do you actually shag in your houses?” Max broke from his phase, the question still wondering his mind.
“Max, we’ve been over this already, we’re waiting!—” George leaned down to your mic from the drinks cabinet, speaking in a funny voice.
“OH SHUT UUUPPP!” Max groaned, “make me another?”
You laughed and grabbed the juice George was already handing you.
When you were all topped up and things were in order, you continued, “sorry about that, things got a little heated there because—”
“—because Max was bitter he couldn’t touch his toes.”
“Fuck you!” He snickered at his co-host, “anyway, next photo—” he passed you the photo of you standing at your grandparents front doorstep, covered up to your neck in dirty, mucky water with a 5-month-old Great Dane puppy hanging in your arm, also soaked from top to bottom in muck.
“Oh my God,” you groaned, inspecting the picture your Grandad took at the time. It had been the funniest sight ever had the pair of them laughed for hours that night after you came back with the dog.
“So,” you laughed as well, “this was me after offering to take my Nan and Grandad’s new dog for a walk at the time. He was like 5 months old and trailed me off my feet. Clearly.”
The two laughed at the photo, and you smiled sweetly, just as you’d done in the photo because it was funny having to explain to your grandparents. “This was only like a year ago. My Grandad got him and I came up to see them and took him a walk — but he went flying off his lead and jumped into this river seeing a swan or whatever -my grandparents are countryside folk-“ you looked to the camera, “and I had no other option than to . . go in after him!”
“Dive on in!”
“Yeah! He was a puppy! I don’t think he knows how to swim!” You inspected the photo again, the state of your hair in a bun and the specks of mud on your face. “He doesn’t know how to swim!”
“He’s big for a puppy.”
“He’s massive now. He’s huge.”
“Huh, calm down love,” George faked flattery.
“I don’t know how my Grandad walks him, George had to walk him the other week when we went up. He’s so strong,” you thought of the pup who thought he was a lapdog. “Just pulls your arm the entire time.”
“But you saved his life.”
“Yeah. I had to trail all the way back down those country lanes, looking like that.”
“Can you just imagine her, trailing back to the house, holding the dog like that, looking like that, smelling worse probably,” George laughed loudly, hitting Max’s arm, who laughed at the image too. Yeah, you’d definitely be a miserable bitch that 15 minute walk.
“Stupid dog,” you rolled your eyes playfully, knowing you’d take a bullet for him.
“Next photo, I picked this,” He passed the photo of you on a field a few years ago, game face on and thigh muscles on show as you played hockey with your team from school. “I picked this because you both did hockey, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” George agreed, watching you inspect.
“Yeah, I did hockey in school. I didn’t like it though. Well, I did but I was terrified everyday. I was waiting for the day the ball came flying at my face.”
“Hockey balls are no joke.” Your boyfriend said.
“Honestly. And girls are savages, playing with ones who clearly didn’t like you showed. They were aiming for that ball to crack my nose, you know what I mean. I hated it. Preferred my ballet.”
“Isn’t that weird you both did hockey though? Oh my! You’re so gonna be that couple who has the photos of you both young, leading up the stairs in your London Townhouse for your kids to say to their posh friends about like ‘oh yes, Mummy and Daddy played hockey in their youth, ballet and rugby’,” Max perfectly mocked a perfectly done snobby accent, the pair of you laughing out loud at his vision. “I’m serious! Mark my words!”
“It is weird. We do have so many coincidences, sometimes it’s like . . is it just a coincidence?” You looked at him wonderingly, “like, hockey for one — I dropped hockey a year before there was this match event with other schools, and George went to it, he was there,” you told, “like we both would have been there.”
“Or Uni.”
“Or the same with Uni! I didn’t even go to Uni at that time, but my friends, friends of friends even, they would go to Bristol all the time to see them, you know, Freshers ‘n that—”
“Big up Bristol universities,” Max did his famous hand sign.
“—seriously! And I am was in the same building as him, we both have photo memories on our phones from the same night!”
“And you never spoke?!”
“We never met!”
“It is weird, isn’t it? Out of all the universities,” George scratched his neck.
“Yeah! And we were in the same airport at one time, on the same day? Or that photo of you, your sister and your Mum walking along somewhere in Brighton! Spontaneous trip to Brighton, walking along the seafront - who took a picture with their Mum walking the same path an hour or so later?” You pointed to yourself.
“Shut up! You’re taking the piss!”
“I swear, we both have snapchat memories from that day, the times are so close, we figured it all out!”
“You could have walked by him and been like ‘oh my god, who is that fit stranger and why am I not married to him’ and now—”
“And now it’s come true! You were the random stranger I wished for,” you laughed, talking to George. He laughed.
“It’s scary when you think about it though. Is that just a coincidence or like . . was the universe just tryna shove you two together,” Max laughed skeptfully.
When he said it like that . . yeah. Was very strange.
You and George both eyed each other, wondering the same thing.
“Anyway, we’ll never know, next photo because we’re taking forever: what can you tell us about this one?” You grabbed the printed photo.
It was a picture your Mum has taken, to most likely show all her friends over Facebook, how strong you were as you lay as a barely 16-year-old, in a hospital bed.
“Ooo. So . . . this is when I almost died!” You clapped cheerfully, Max and George doing their best not to find that funny. Max failing more so as George already knew the story behind it. “Yeah, so, this was me, pretty much after I went to my first concert-festival thing? I went up to London with some of my best friends, and it was all good fun, we were having a great time, being senisible for a bunch of 16-year-olds, I mean we weren’t absolutely smashed ‘cause we knew we had to get the train home and stuff. But! I . . I got spiked,” you appealed to the camera, “and almost died!” You hoped not to sound so dull and depressing . . even though you had quite literally been hospitalised.
“Was it that bad? I mean I remember you told me this like just about but I don’t know the ins and outs. Is that what happened? How’d you get home? What do you remember?”
“So from what I can remember, is it was getting late and it was coming to an end, and I remember . . I needed to go to the toilet, but my head was busting and like, I wouldn’t move? I suddenly felt so confused? And sick? And just not okay. I remember feeling like I couldn’t open my mouth, like I couldn’t talk, and I thought maybe I just needed to be sick ‘cause I’d been drinking, not lots, but drinking nontheless,” you shrugged. “And then, apparently I just fell and my friends got me to the medical tent and then I was brought to the hospital in an ambulance and they phoned my mum and dad and . . yeah, it was really bad. It was scary for them. I was in hospital for days, like I was basically in a coma for a few days and everyone was convinced I was gonna die,” you said. It was weird talking about it with such a lightness to your voice, when in reality, your family were convinced there was a strong chance you wouldn’t make it.
But you lived to tell the tale ‘cause you were that betch.
“I laugh about it now and my family laugh about it but it really wasn’t funny at the time. Obviously.”
“Obviously,” George responded sarcastically.
“Oh my God, it was really that serious, ‘cause I know some people are spiked and don’t even realise until the next day! But yours was extreme.”
“Yeah. My frail teenage body couldn’t take it. I remember I woke up and being so confused and scared and my Mum just crying next to me when I looked at her. It’s weird ‘cause like . . it was a whole family trauma thing and I just . . didn’t feel part of it?” You laughed. “I remember by Grandad being like . . you’re getting a smack for putting us through hell this past few week. And my cousin Dan got me a card with ‘attention seeker’ on it.”
“Oh my God!”
“Yeah. I didn’t realise how serious it was until I got home again and was making jokes and my Mum was all ‘no y/n, we seriously thought we would lose you, don’t joke about that’ and explained the situation and started crying again and then I-I shut up.”
“That would be me. Is that why you’re so protective over her when she goes out drinking?” Max looked at George.
“I mean I look out for her whether she’d been spiked before or not, it’s — what’d you’d mean? It’s like a subconscious,” he answered confused. “I’m alert anyway incase anyone bothers anybody in general but obviously, yeah, I’m gonna watch her the most,” he explained. “Also she can’t handle her drink, so.”
“George,” you breathed, “yes I can.”
“Okay darling.”
“Did that not put you off drinking? Do you have any trauma from that?”
“Now I don’t, I mean I don’t let it stop me but I am conscious that it could always happen again. To anybody. I will always keep my drink tucked into my chest like I’m never stupid to go back to drinking an unattended glass, but no, I’m fine to go out and let loose. I wasn’t much of a drinker anyway, I didn’t go out a lot but I built my confidence back up from drinking in friends’ houses and stuff. It was more so my mum and dad — anybody in my family, really, that moaned when I told them I was going out or had an event ‘cause they always just go ‘OH Y/N! DO YOU HAVE TO GO? WHO YOU GOING WITH? ARE YOU DRINKING? DO YOU NEED TO DRINK? WATCH YOURSELF WONT YOU, OH PLEASE DON'T DRINK. I'M GONNA BE A NERVOUS WRECK THIS ENTIRE WEEKEND.’ But other than that, we move forward.”
“Oh my God, there you go. Bet you didn’t expect that from your favorite nail girl,” Max commented. “Couple Goals: when you both nearly die as a child,” he made a hashtag with his fingers as he linked how George had a near-death experience when he’d overheated as a tot.
“Literally! What was that about?!” you laughed.
“Has he told you that story?”
“Yeah! I found out really early on! He dropped it on me like one of the first times he was staying over! It was obviously Winter time and I, a girl of comfort, had my room all cozy for him coming, candle lit, electric blanket on—” that’s when you shot a look at the camera, “he came in, cold for once, and I said about the blanket— no. He was like ‘but you turn that off?’ and in my head I was like: obviously not, safety hazard who? That stays on love, but I was like ‘yeah . .’ and then he said how he would actually overheat. At this point, he’s already slipping his coat off, jumper too, warmed up already and he just said how he like almost died! I have never opened windows so wide or turned off - I think I pulled the plug out the socket and everything, I was shocked. And even to this day, I am so cautious of this—”
“It’s not even like a big dea—”
“It is George! I am so serious when it comes to him and heat, it’s actually a second nature now. He says i’m being dramatic but he’s almost traumatised me into it. I’ve bought a fan and all for my room whenever he comes over and keep a wireless one in my handbag and car and stuff for when we go out—”
“Aw, stop it,” Max couldn’t help but awe. “Does the fan not annoy you?”
“I hate white noise, like I am a dark room, sleeping mask, complete silence, type of sleeper, but I got over it pretty quickly with him. I’m used to it now, I probably do need it to fall asleep.”
“D’you think that’s why you’re funny about her drinking and you’re funny about him in hot weather?”
It was something you never considered, and looking across from each other inquisitively, it did make sense, although it was just a coincidence. “No, although it makes sense.”
“Hm. Much to think about. Ok, what about this photo to end on a higher note,” the last photo was one you felt so guilty of. It was actually from a TikTok, in the background of an interview your man had been doing on a carpet. You’d been waiting behind on him to get done before going to the bar together, being patient and being careful to not to get in the way.
However, in the TikTok clip, that had gone viral on your behalf, you had been filmed evidently looking on of his interviewees up and down with a perked eyebrow, a slightly sour look taking your usual cheerful face which was why it was so funny. You didn’t even remember doing it, your smile resuming seconds after, but you’d been caught lacking as a known star made her way over to your man to try and make him laugh.
“I can’t believe you,” you muttered, disappointed they’d exposed you.
“What’s – what’s going on in that pic, hmm?” George smiled smug, inching it closer to you.
“That—” you didn’t know what to say, laughing yourself, you shrugged, “nothing! That’s nothing!”
“Y/n is the fakest bitch about, you heard it here first. It’s all a facade,” Max slandered.
“NO!”
“—me when I see Ekin-Su. JOKING! Actually, bleep that, bleep that!”
You laughed out loud.
“Ok, well that was fun. I feel like you are ready to take on the final task of helping us with some queries from our lovely callers,” Max cleared the table while you took a sip of your drink.
You immediately scowled with disgust over the strength of the drink your beau had made for you. You were getting tipsy, you weren’t that drunk. “Fuckin’ hell George.”
“What?” He gave his confused look despite laughing.
“What do you mean ‘what’, you trying to kill me here,” you coughed more, pushing the mug away, “get that away from me, urgh! Daddy.”
“What’d you call me?”
“Grow up, you blimmin’ poisoning me here!” You grinned.
“Did we not just talk about her getting spiked?” Max joined in, laughing at the sight of you struggling to collect yourself. “He always does take the piss, he makes them far too strong.”
“Lightweights.”
“Shut up,” you coughed, “pour that out.”
“No! You have to drink it!”
“No! It’s not even nice!”
George tilted his head. “Y/n.”
“George, it’s gross.”
“Oh! I hear the phone!” Max called out. He smacked the button.
“Hello Max and George . . and potential guest.”
“HI!” You cheered, delighted to be included.
“Hopefully you can help. I’m calling because I have had a dilemma for quite some time now. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year now and I am sick to death of him trying to get me to get on top and do all the work every bloody time! No! I don’t want to! I know that’s not a good sight! And every time he lays there all annoyed with me after we’ve finished! Please help because I am on the verge of going celebite if this lad asks me one more time to get up there.”
You know when silence gives away your answer to something? It kind of tells you all you need to know?
Well, even if the silence at the table wasn’t enough, George’s struggling expression of holding in his laughter and you looking at him, warning him not to do it definitely was.
The camera would cut to you and cut to him once again, and then to Max who felt like he’d missed out on a joke. “Whaaaat?”
“S—” he couldn’t hold it, spit of a laugh coming out, “sounds familiar.”
“NO!” You shrieked.
Laughs filled the room, disbelief taking you he’d made such comment.
“What?” Max chuckled.
“I think she is perfectly valid and should not—”
“No, she’s lazy.”
“NO, she’s not confident in h—”
“No, her boyfriend clearly thinks she’s good enough otherwise, he wouldn’t keep askin—”
“NO, her boyfriend—”
“Listen love, you need to suck it up—”
“NO!”
“YES! Her wouldn’t boyfriend keep saying to her if neither of them enjoy it—”
“But she doesn’t!”
“‘Cause she thinks she looks bad and clearly doesn’t if her boyfriend—”
“Do you know how it feels to be sitting up, everything on show, rolls ‘n everything right in front of your face, my tits—”
“Y/n giving her input from personal experiences,” Max spoke into the mic, bringing you out of your passionate rant in the midst of forgetting you were making a podcast.
“N–no! I’m–I’m just putting myself in her position—”
“Clearly.”
That made you look at him with such an unimpressed gaze, it was almost funny.
You knew he was kind of right though.
“I mean I don’t know if I can help with this question, personally. I personally have never ridden like a cowboy, although I do have a pink cowboy hat for when that occasion may arise. Um, yeah, any further input? I mean it’s a growing experience for the both of you, and I’m sure you look banging from down below, darlin’.”
“I agree.”
“What? Do you know what she looks like?” You crossed your arms with a raised brow.
George shook his head with an unnecessary nervous laugh, “no.”
“So why?—”
“‘Cause I imagine her boyfriend wouldn’t keep asking her if he thought she looked ugly—”
“I think—”
“I THINK RIDE HIM LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW BABY!” Max mimicked a lasso in his hand as said pink cowboy hat was placed on his head.
“Let that be a message to all your apprehensive ladies.” George sent his encouragement, nodding to you to give your final comment.
“Giddy up.”
Max laughed, disrupting him, “sorry. Y/n, I can just . . imagine you through,” he snickered, “I know you’re hating your whole life.”
“Max, don’t even,” you laughed, thinking this was just you two conversing and it’d be cut from the pod, “I am like that Spongebob meme of him leaning on the wall out of breath after about 2 minutes!” You laughed hysterically, doing the pose. Now George was the one slightly covering his face, knowing those tins of Gin were getting to you.
Max cackled.
“Seriously. No cowgirl in sight, just cow.”
He really laughed at that, even the crew while George shook his head and looked at you trying not to join in with them, “you—this is the pink gin coming out.”
“It is! It is,” you agreed giddily, nodding at him, “you know it.”
“I do.”
“Same. Oh! I have an email come through!” Max typed on his keyboard. “Here you read it.”
George cleared his throat. “Hi Max and George, pretty big dilemma here. So, my parents were gone for the weekend and so I had my boyfriend over for the time being. They told me they would be back Sunday afternoon. Anyway, Sunday morning rolls around and I had woken up to the sight of my boyfriend between my legs. As you can imagine, feeling loved up on this particular lazy Sunday morning in a very empty house, we were soon able to fill the silence by shagging like there was no tomorrow. Got me kind of excited to get our own house someday as I don’t think I’ve ever been able to make that much noise in all my life. Probably would have been the best sex ever if I hadn’t found out 20 minutes later after going downstairs to make our breakfast, that I’d find my Mum and Dad standing in the kitchen, having a cup of tea, back early from their trip—”
“NO!”
“—Part of me is convinced it might not have been that bad as they both struggle a bit with their hearing, but the other part of me is convinced the neighbors down the street could have heard me. It’s been a couple days and I can’t help but feel like there is an unspoken silence. What do I do? Also . . wh— ho— do you know what that says?” He pulled a face whilst passing you the sheet.
“—also . . I too would ride George into battle— wow, completely fell for that one,” you crumpled the page up as he laughed.
“Fuck’s sake,” Max scoffed, “how does that make you feel by the way? All these people want to ride your man?”
“I was gonna say get in line but after today, you can bloody have him,” you stressfully rubbed your face, smiling across at him like he was your walking headache. He laughed at your answer, before going back to the question.
“I personally would not even risk shagging with the possibility my parents could come home any second, I’m sorry. As a teen, maybe. Not now.”
“Yes you would?” George dramatically scoffed.
“I wouldn’t! You would?!”
“I—I’m saying if you—”
“If your shagging — this is bad as it is, how do people have sex with their parents’ in the room next door? Even in the same house?! I don’t care if my Mum is downstairs, preoccupied with Eastenders! I don’t even think I could get in the vibe!”
“Yeah, it’s odd,” George bit his nail.
“And if you’re a loud mouth like her—”
“Me?” You pointed.
“No, our caller. But you too . . . Y/n you sound like you’re having an orgasm when you stub your toe, love,” he slipped out, laughing in doing so.
You covered your face for what felt like the 100th since being here, knowing you couldn’t argue.
George was giggling next to him, agreeing with him, “she actually does.”
“I DON'T MEAN IT! It just comes out!” you defended how you tended to let out quite sultry groans when you bung your knee on a table. They just sounded the same.
“It’s just a risky situation never worth taking. Unless you’re up for that risk: carry on love.”
“Let’s be honest: you’re never quiet enough. No matter how good you think you’re doing at keeping it on the DL,” George moved his hands, “you’re probably not.”
“Yep. Exactly.”
“Sometimes life is about risks,” you argued, playing with your hair.
The brunet looked at you. “And you . . biggest scaredy cat known to man . . definition of goody-two-shoes . . is willing . . to risk that.”
“And don’t you know it,” you winked before the three of you burst out laughing. “No! I'm joking!”
“I don’t think you are, darlin’” Max laughed, not having a clue.
“I can hear the phone ringing.” George swayed on his seat, legs sprawled beneath the table as he reached for it.
Max tried to calm himself down as you did, waiting for the last caller to come through. You stretched in your seat, not having enough room to do your legs, triggering you, as a person who sat at a desk all day with no room to stretch their limbs. “Oh my! George! Move your feet!” You tapped his foot with your shoe, moving him out of your space. “That’s my pet peeve! Oh my days! Anytime we’re sat down, he always has his legs stretched all the way over to my area!”
“I have longer legs?!”
“It’s annoying! Move your big ass foot,” you tried not to laugh ‘cause you meant it. “I sit like this all day,” you mimicked your work posture of tucked in legs and straight back, “so I wanna let go and relax and stretch but no! GEORGE! MOVE IT!” He kicked your foot back to make room for himself.
“This is my space,” he defended, looking in the viewfinder to see. Obviously it was not.
“You guys are matching today,” Max commented, seeing both white shoes on your feet. “Oh my god, George, your foot looks massive!” He made fun of him.
You put your soles against each other, your foot obviously making George’s appear bigger, “I actually had a different outfit planned but he didn’t lift my bag,” your scratched your head, “had brand new jeans, nice little top, pink cardigan and stuff — no,” you looked at the camera, “someone left all my stuff back in Bristol,” you observed the regular t-shirt and mom jeans fit.
“Tell Max what your Mum said about your change in clothes,” he giggled.
You laughed, “oh my, so I was back home for a few days and my Mum –she’s made a few comments like this recently -she’s not helping fight the Almond Mum allegations- I was sitting in the living room, I had leggings on, old sweatshirt,” you held your hand out to George, “no makeup on, hair was just thrown up, I was just chilling. I wasn’t going anywhere, like, sounds normal right? My Mum goes to me . . . ‘are you alright, y/n?’, I was like ‘. . yeah? Why wouldn’t I be? What’d you mean?’, I think she thought I was going through something?! she goes ‘well it’s just recently like, you don’t get ready like you used to anymore, like did you get showered today?’” Your baffled look had Max and George laughing, imagining the situation. “I was like ‘yes Mum, obviously?’ Sorry I can’t get my skincare routine done, dab the makeup on and lounge about in a pair of jeans. I’ve got showered but no, I haven’t curled my ponytail today! I’ve got a 3-hour train journey to Bristol hun! I’m not sitting in jeans for that!”
It sounded like since you met George, your mum would think you were slacking. . not wearing makeup around the house and in lounge clothes a lot more, but it was because you realised you didn’t need that anymore. What was the point? You needed to save that make up when you were going out with him, needed those nice outfits for your strolls around London. “Like I don’t have the desire to sit in a good outfit all day. I am constantly travelling back and forth, I need to save as much clothes as I can, I need to keep all my stuff together, I forget so much stuff in between houses. My straighteners are in Bristol, my makeup bag is in London and my skincare is in Brighton. I had to buy a toothbrush last night. You know what I mean? Why would I bring my makeup bag down from Brighton when I’m not going out and gonna be back in London in 2 days? My Mum thinks I’m going through something but it is ‘cause I just don’t have time to put makeup on on the morning!”
“She thinks you’re ugly without it,” George retorted.
“Also you just can’t be arsed.” Max shrugged.
“Well yeah! She sees me in a tracksuit two days in a row and thinks I’m giving up on myself!”
“She is sounding very Almond Mum to meee—” the blond sang.
“She’s not beating the allegations, is she? I was like ‘no mum, I am fine. Trust me, George is not depressing me, I just have to wear those jeans tomorrow when we’re going out.’”
“Bless her. She just thinks you’re a tramp now,” he snickered, hitting a few buttons on the phone.
“I was offended.”
“Hi Max and George. Potential guest—”
“Hello darlin’!” You smiled, sitting on your hands.
“—I need help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, my first proper boyfriend in my opinion as we’ve been together since we were 17. However, the other day we ran into this boy I used to see before I met him. Technically, he could be classed as my ‘first boyfriend’ as we were together for about 4 months and did all the firsts stuff, but I still would say my current boyfriend is my first proper relationship. Anyway, my boyfriend made a comment on how he was my first love instead of him and we began bickering and long story short, we’re kind of not talking. I guess I’d class him more like a friend than an ‘ex’ and it started the argument, like I wouldn’t not acknowledge the first guy if he were to say hello?! I don’t know. Who’s in the wrong here? Bearing in mind, this guy was erased from my memory until we saw him a few days ago. Is he being dramatic or am I not being a good girlfriend here? Let me know. Love you both.”
“Hmmmm,” Max tapped his chin, “wow.”
“First loves.”
“You’ll be experienced with this question, how does Andrew deal with you and your long list of past hoes?” George got back at Max.
“Are you slut-shaming me?”
“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” he nodded jokingly.
“It’s hard because . . to me it just sounds like her boyfriend is annoyed that she just had something before him. Even though it was small, only 4 months.”
“Yeah, but it’s like . . four unnecessary months of something that gives her this excuse to still be friendly with the guy she had something with. I’m not defending the boyfriend but I see why he’s . . like . .”
“Insecure?” You raised a brow.
“It sounds like it’s not a big deal but it is a big deal to him because whilst you’re disregarding the important of ‘yeah, firsts are firsts but they didn’t mean anything’, he feels like that isn’t true? Am I right in saying that?”
“Yeah, I get you. But then that’s his problem,” you shrugged. “He’s just letting it affect him.”
“Put it into perspective: did you have something with anyone before George?”
“Mmm . . nothing serious.” You squinted your eyes, “like . . sort of seeing someone.”
“No, no, no, you can’t say that,” George immediately cut in, “you weren't boyfriend-girlfriend but you were more—”
“George’s jealousy is showing, this is why I can’t talk about this,” you spoke into the mic like an ASMR episode.
“NO! Listen! Listen, right—”
“Like I wouldn’t class him as my first boyfriend? Certainly not my first love. Yeah, we did—”
“DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT! DON'T CARE. DON'T WANT TO KNOW. BORRRRINGG. NEXT QUESTION—”
“But I’m serious! ‘Cause if I saw him—”
“You’d what?” You looked at him surprised, raising your brows, “what would you do? You had a girlfriend in what? Year 12 anyway?!”
“No?!”
“Yeah?!”
“Not a girlfriend—”
“OH, SO, SHE WASN'T A GIRLFRIEND BUT MINE—”
“NO NO NO—”
“You two are toxic as fuuuck and need to break up immediately,” Max’s sarcasm could not be heard over your bickering. He had never been so entertained by sitting on a couple before. It was fun when it was other people.
“You’re raging!” You grinned.
“I’m not! I’m saying yours is di—“
“If you’re saying I had my boyfriend at that ag—”
“But he was—”
“—WHAT I’M HEARING is George is gonna scrap your Year 8 boyfriend and you’re gonna scrap George’s Year 8 girlfriend.”
That made you giggle. “Yeah, actually. Precisely. Well he can, I don’t care.”
“Get the boxing match sorted,” the boy cracked his fingers.
You shook your head at him, rolling your eyes. Like he would ever.
That’d be an unfair advantage in itself anyway. George was like twice his size.
“Listen love, you just need to reassure your boyfriend that he is your one and only and if he can’t take what he’s dished out, he needs to grow up. You’ll sort it out, he’ll forgive you and you forgive him.” You have your take.
“He’ll maybe forgive you quicker if you climb on top of him,” a mumbled voice noted.
“Huh?”
“Huh?” He played dumb. “What?”
“I cannot stand you,” you threw your head back, a smile on your lips.
“Oh my God! My Disney ice tray just got delivered!” Max exclaimed excitedly. “Sorry.”
“Oh my god! We can put them in our drinks on Saturday when we’re in our matching Disney pyjamas!” You gushed, looking at Max with excitement.
“Oh my god, yesssss!” He wiggled his fingers, “and yes before anyone asks, me and Y/n have gotten matching pyjamas for our slumber party on Saturday, we got paired together, don’t judge.”
“I’m excited!”
“Me too! We’re gonna get so drunk and talk about bitches we hated at school and our celeb crushes! Who was your first celebrity crush?”
“Ummm . . . is it weird if I say Ben 10?” You laughed.
Max laughed louder, “is it weirder if I say no?”
George was so done with you two.
“George kind of looks like—”
“—NO! I know who my first real celeb crush was,” you frantically interrupted, “Michael from Benidorm.”
“Michael?” Max had to type him up. “I’m pretty sure eveyone was crushing on the man from the bar.”
“Mateo!”
“YES!”
“No, I fancied Michael. My mum watched for Mateo, I watched for Michael,” you laughed.
“George . .” Max looked at the photo, “you could have played him when you were this age,” he began to laugh. “I’m serious! After that photo you showed me of you as a child, you could’ve been him,” he drunkenly laughed at the thought.
“Shut up, Max.”
“I’m serious! Twins!” He held up the phone. “Your type is showingggg.”
They could barely pass as cousins.
“Yeah, first TV crush. Pretty sure we’re the same age in real life, so. Who was yours?”
“I don’t know, I’ll tell you at the slumber party,” he winked.
George leaned his head on his hand. “Can I come?”
“Are you gay?”
“No.”
“Are you a girl?”
“No.”
“Then no. Sorry,” Max typed on his computer. “Ummmm, wow. We have no more dilemmas for today! Congratulations on your interview, you did well!”
“So did I get the job?”
“No.” George deadpanned. “There were some requirements you did not meet, I'm afraid.”
“Can you tell me what they were?”
“No.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“If you guys enjoyed this episode, please make sure to like it, rate it, share it on whatever you are listening or watching from today.” He carried on the outro.
“Yep, and send through your dilemmas through email or our instagram via voice note where you can also follow us, and yeah. Thank you for coming in today. Follow our interviewee too on all social media platforms.” You posed with your hands under your chin.
“She has a real hunky boyfriend appearing in a few of those pics,” George yawned as he stretched with his arms behind his head.
“Uh-huh.”
“And until next time—” Max glanced to you. “Don’t shag with your parents in the house.”
“Ride your boyfriend.” George said.
“And don’t have an Almond Mum.”
969 notes · View notes
yuyusboyfriend · 7 months
Text
⋆ Get On Mic ⋆
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pairing: Mingi x gn reader ft. Yunho
word count: 2,3k
content: Mingi likes your, and his best friend's, voice a little... too much and isn't very good at hiding it
warnings/tags: mxm, sub!mingi, dom!reader, switch!yunho, phone sex, voyeurism, possessive mingi, I can't really think of any others, tell me if there's anything else
a/n: just incase, wyd= what you doing ,vc=voice chat, also this isn't proof read so!!! sorry
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Mingi: you busy?
You: just finished some work, why wyd?
Mingi: jump on vc lets play, you promised. and the guys miss you
This was the 3rd time this week you had abandoned your 'finished' homework for Mingi. You would've said not tonight as said homework is due tomorrow, but for all the boys? You supposed you could play for a little while.
Mingi had been acting differently for a few weeks, nothing obvious, but you had noticed he had become much clingier with you. "Did one of your anime characters die or something?" you asked the giant that was wrapped around you as you made lunch for the boys.
"Hm? Oh, no, you're just so comfy. This hoodie new?" he grumbled into your shoulder, putting his hands in the front pockets as you tried to maneuver the both of you around the kitchen.
"No it's Jongho's, he said I could borrow it for the day-"
"Wear mine instead." Mingi unravelled himself from you and marched off to his bedroom with purpose, emerging with a hoodie of his own. It was your favourite of his, and he knew it—a tattered grey one that Mingi had owned for years, and he looked so pretty in it; you complimented him on it whenever he decided to wear it. You had actually been seeing it more often these days than you used to.
"Alright Mingi, whatever makes you happy princess" You didn't question his actions; Mingi's clingy days were quite endearing to you if you were honest. He clung to you like a koala to a tree, despite his stature and the fact you could hardly move when he did.
"I'm not a princess y/n,"
"You sure act like one? It's okay to be my princess Mingi, I'll look after you, hm?" Mingi huffed grumpily and slipped his hands under Jongho's jumper to pull it over your head, before realising you weren't wearing a shirt under it. Despite his beet-red face, he slipped his hoodie over your head, and took a step to admire his work; the way you looked in his clothes.
"See that's much better!" He yelled loud enough to smother the noise of his racing thoughts.
"I'm right here Mingi!" You rubbed your ringing ear as he apologised for nearly bursting your eardrum, "You are right though, this does look better. Could you give this back to Jongho when he gets home for me?"
He sighed sarcastically, "Anything for you my y/n." That left you with a weird flutter in your stomach, you weren't used to Mingi using endearing language like that. You wouldn't mind it again, though.
"Thank you, princess!" You laughed and ran away hearing Mingi's heavy footsteps not far behind.
You opened the voice chat to hear Woo and Joong fighting over who got who killed in their last match. "YOU LITERALLY-Y/n! You're here!" Wooyoung yelled down the mic and diverted his attention to you, with a slew of greetings coming through from the boys, Mingi's voice pitching in last.
"You made it," you could practically hear the grin on Mingi's face.
"Here he goes again" Yeosang's voice chimes into the conversation.
"Shut up Yeo."
You look at your screen, confused as to why Yeosang would say that and what it meant; why Mingi's tone had turned deep and icy at the statement, but before you even had a chance to question the situation, Seonghwa beat you to it. "Let's play! San I'm gonna beat your ass."
"We're on the same team??"
After playing a few rounds for a few…hours…the boys finally called a 20-minute break so they could go stretch and raid their kitchen for whatever they had bought on a late-night shopping trip. Well, you thought everybody had gone anyway.
"Y/n?" You almost missed Mingi's hushed voice down the mic, he sounded so soft. You hoped you could go and see the boys after all your assignments were handed in; you missed Mingi's hugs-turned-cuddle-sessions-turned-sleepovers.
"What's up princess, you okay?" your gentle tone sent shivers down the boy's spine. He felt hot when you called him sweet names through the phone, and while he wouldn't admit it to anyone, the way you called him princess got to him. Bad. Like bad in the way that was making him shift in his chair as the fabric on his plaid pyjama pants felt tighter by the second. Fuck, he felt so guilty, letting your sleepy voice get to him like this, but he just couldn't help it. He loved it, he loved the way you made noises when you stretched in your chair, groans slipping out of your mouth-
"Mingi? You there?"
He accidentally huffed a little down the mic, trying to conceal his whimpers as he pressed down into his growing hard-on, trying to gain some friction with the palm of his hand while he answered your worried tone. "yeah yeah,, I'm here. Can you just… talk? Tell me about your day,,, please?" Now that he had started, he just couldn't stop himself from reaching into his trousers now grinding up into his palm through just his boxers.
"Yeah, sure Mingi. So you know that assignment? I actually haven't…." The warmth of your voice spread like wildfires across his burning skin as you told him about… he totally wasn't sure what you were saying. His head was too fuzzy, too high off of your voice that he could barely register your words when he wasn't concentrating.
"Mingi are you okay? You sound out of breath, should I tell one of the guys to check on you-"
"No! No, I'm hh, fine y/n,, c-carry on please" Mingi knew he would get caught any second with the noises escaping his mouth, but he just couldn't help it, he wanted you so fucking bad, he was so desperate for you to just make a move on him after weeks, months of teasing and touching; hell, he had 3 wet dreams and infinite cold showers after he took Jongho's hoodie off your body, his eyes absorbing every detail, curve, scar, blemish, beauty mark—whatever his eyes had access to at that moment.
"Princess. You should've just told me you needed my voice." Busted. You could hear Mingi rhythmically shifting and huffing, his chair squeaking every once in a while. In all honesty, you had caught Mingi doing this a couple of times now, You could always hear the sound of Mingi's hand smacking the base of his cock as he stroked himself to your voice. It lit a heat in your stomach so strong that after the first few times, you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from reaching into your underwear and playing with yourself; Slow enough as to not cum on the call but by the time it had ended you'd be writhing and squirming into your mattress. The thought of him taking in your body with greedy eyes any chance he could had your legs shaking as your orgasm hit you like a truck, crying out his name into your pillow.
"Wh- what? What do you mean?" Mingi's movements came to a halt on the other side of the call.
"Mingi, do you think I can't hear what you've been doing? How all of a sudden when it's just me and you, your breaths become heavy? Oh, princess, you're cute." you couldn't help teasing the poor man, you didn't think you had done too much till you heard the giant whimper into his mic, hands moving at a faster pace than before.
"Answer me, baby, tell me what you're doing, please?"
"Ah- I'm… fuck I'm sorry. Just—your voice is so hot, I couldn't help it—ngh" Before you could you heard a phone camera click, followed by a notification on your phone—Oh.
Mingi's veined hand was practically suffocating the base of his angry cock, precum leaking out of his tip. God, it was a beautiful sight that made your mouth water-
"Mingi. You didn't send that just to me…"
Yunho: did you mean to send that to the both of us or should I just pretend I didn't see anything?
Yunho: Either way, Impressive👍
Mingi squeaked at Yunho's messages out of embarrassment, and being kind of turned on at his friend's words.
Right? You like what you see, Yunho? Come join the call again…
You had a sneaking suspicion that they both had a little more interest in each other than just lifelong friends, and while you liked Mingi a whole lot, his best friend was just as pretty. The two of you had also shared some drunken kisses and touches one night after helping a blacked-out Mingi to bed. You wanted to dress them up in matching outfits and parade them around the house-
"Mingi? Y/n?" Yunho cautiously called out your names, his voice more gruff than usual.
"Yunho… help…" Mingi was barely able to get his words out, between the shame of getting caught out, and the way it was making him more needy by the second, his brain felt as though it was becoming mush.
"Mingi, are you really rubbing one out in the call again? You were bound to get caught, this is on you." Ah, so you weren't the only one who had caught onto his antics. To be fair, when it was just late-night calls between the 3 of you, he wasn't sly at all. All the shuffling and coughing to cover up his sounds, and the way he would mute himself for a suspiciously long amount of time with no warning, all to come back with a groggy voice and shallow breaths.
"Again?! Ah-What do you mean again-" Mingi gave up on trying to stop his whimpers and groans between speaking, letting them fall out of his bitten lips.
"Mingi, you could've just told us you needed our help, I'm literally in the room next to yours." Yunho can't help but let out a throaty laugh at the boy's predicament.
"Don't you dare Yunho, if you're gonna touch him then I better be there for it." Your body heat rises at the thought of the two of you teasing Mingi's aching body till he cums for you both. As if Mingi was thinking the same thing, his sweet noises increased with each stroke, one hand reaching up to play with his sensitive nipples. He was so desperate to cum after unintentionally edging himself two times, both of your words mixing with the fuzz in his brain making.
"Guys I don't mean—mean to stop the bickering but—please help,,," Mingi grabbed his phone and threw himself on his soft bed. Since his room was already darkened, the only sources of light emitting from his gaming setup and phone screen thanks to the blackout curtains, he turned the camera on for you and Yunho to see his tired and red face huffing into the darkness.
"Pretty," You heard Yunho whisper under his breath, so quiet you weren't sure if he had meant to say it out loud, but Mingi's little whimper as he rutted against his bed reassured Yunho either way.
"You think so Yunho? You think our princess is a pretty boy?"
"So pretty. Arent you Mingi?" He cried out so loud Yunho could hear him through the wall. He began to beat his cock harder with each stroke slapping his skin louder than the last.
"Oh Mingi, you're so worked up sweet boy, you gonna cum for us?" you whispered sweetly, bringing Mingi closer to his edge.
"Y-yes fuck please I'm so close please keep going" The boy moaned out into the bedsheets, craving his nearing release. He imagined two sets of hands on his aching body, Yunhos larger pair raking across his chest while one of yours grips the surface of his hip, the other dragging up and down his weeping cock.
"Im gonna- I- I need to cum-" You could hear Yunho's breaths becoming shaky and uneven too, the sounds coming from the two almost making you cum untouched at the thought of them getting off to this.
"Yunho, you ready to cum with Mingi? I wanna hear you both cry" You say with a smile, rolling your hips into your pillow.
"Y-yeah, Mingi fuck cum princess" Yunho tried to say in a stable voice, faltering as he and Mingi came into tightened fists, cum streaking against their surroundings. Mingi cried as he spurted white liquid from his tip, what felt like hours of edging coming to an end finally, his orgasm hitting him so roughly he had managed to get cum on his face and the walls from the buildup. Yunhos had been a little less explosive but he had still been desperate for release knowing what his roommate had been up to for so long. After a minute or two of no talking, you checked in,
"You boys okay now?" You approached the situation cautiously.
"Y/n, can you come over? We'll help you with your essay just- please come over?" Mingis's groggy voice pleaded, Yunho carrying on his thoughts.
"I'll pick you up and take you to college in the morning too, we miss you." Maybe it was how soft they sounded in their haze of post-nut clarity, but you really couldn't say no to them.
"I'll be ready in 5 but take your time getting here… Also, I didn't get to cum so are you guys gonna fix that orrrr?" You hear the call end as you finish your sentence and suddenly feel embarrassed.
Mingi: be there in 4.
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I'm sorry this is so ass tbh😭😭😭😭 it's done now though thank GOD
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