#oh this is definitely me projecting onto oc lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jeonqkooks · 1 year

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probably when they first talked about their future together like getting married or having kids :(

our beloved summer; a drabble

Jungkook hugs you to his chest as you both sit on his couch, lazily watching Nabi - his niece - play with her toys on the floor. Jungkook's cousin and his wife are in the city for the weekend to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Tonight, as they sneak off for a romantic anniversary dinner, babysitting duty falls onto you and Jungkook.

You let your eyes drift close, listening to the steady beat of his heart and Nabi's soft humming as she entertains herself. It's so comfortable. You could fall asleep like this.

Jungkook nudges your cheek with his nose after a while, maneuvering his head so he can speak into your ear. "I think I want at least 3 kids," he says.

You open your eyes, letting them readjust to the warm lighting of the room before you answer him. "In this economy? Good luck, bud."

He pinches your waist lightly and makes you squirm with a squeak. Nabi pays no attention to you, too preoccupied with the task of dressing her dolls. "You're no fun," Jungkook mutters. "How many kids do you want?"

You consider this for a minute. Sure, you think about it from time to time - it being having a family of your own. Yours and Jungkook's. All because he keeps calling his mom your future mother-in-law. For fun, of course. You both know this. In fact, you like thinking about it. It's unlike you to get all sappy and sentimental about things, but it's somewhat comforting to fantasize about building a home, a future with him. It can't hurt to daydream a little.

"Ideally, two. A boy and a girl," you say. "Realistically? I'm not sure if I'll even have children."

"What? Why? I thought you love kids."

You do your best to shrug, with him holding you like this. You watch Nabi with her little ponytail and chubby cheeks, rainbow socks and sparkly hair pins. "I love kids," you agree, but your next words and how you say them so evenly, so casually, tells Jungkook that while you may go along with his stupid shenanigans and happily play house with him, you know when to stop dreaming. It sounds like a thought you've been holding onto for a long time now. "But every parent fucks up their child. Even if they don't mean to."

You both grow quiet. There's no change in your facial expression, no stiffness in your body as you rest against Jungkook. There's not even a flicker of sadness in your eyes, or maybe it's always been there and he hasn't realized how deeply rooted it is until now. The calmness in your voice as you said it, like you were just talking about the weather, makes him want to cry for some reason.

Jungkook doesn't know what to say, so he just leaves it at that. He cracks a stupid joke just to make you laugh, something about Hoseok's freshly dyed red hair and how it makes his head look like an heirloom tomato from far away. Despite your words ringing in his head and the way they dampen his waterline, he watches you watch Nabi with gentle eyes and a fond smile.

Jungkook doesn't hope to piece you back together, because you’re not broken. You’re just a person carrying a world of hurt. If anything, he just wants to take some of that weight off your shoulders, let you know that he’s here.

So, even with a million things running through his mind, he squeezes you a little tighter and holds you a little closer. Jungkook is with you, and he loves you.

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little-critters-snips · 2 months

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i don't know why but im just resisting the urge to project onto crafty,,

like come on she definitely would've been the type to make obscure ship art for whatever show she watched, idk sasunaru? or just smth along those lines

oh my god wait she'd totally be the type to have had like self-inserts or smth smth, maybe an ocxcanon shipper? idk mannnn, the possibilities are all over the place lmao/lh/pos

love what ur doing with this blog btw, the content is fire and your interpretations are cool as fuck

YES, THATS WHAT IM SAYINGGGGGGG. her and bobby would be giggling wriiting and doodling ship art.......... sasunaru definitely. her pastime w bobby is going on forums or fanfiction net to WRITE weird fics. yknow early 2000-2010's shit LMAO. imagine the both of them as catboys or smth. that is what craftycorn would draw i am SO SURE.

BOBBY BEARHUGS FANFIC NOTES WOULD BE LIKE: ZOMG yea anyway wasnt thiZ SO RANDOM LOLLL!!! heHE *drags naruto kicking and screaming* WERE GOING FR SUM RAMENNN byeSS!!!!!!

yes crafytcorn would make a oc for her and bobby so they could like shup eachother in their fanfics, and the self insert would look so much like the character she likes..................and a bandage on one eye

THIS just leads me to believe they would have met in middle school and bonded over weird ship art and self inserts.......................

thamk YOU for participating w my headcanons i love figuring how to characterize these creatures........................ive known a lot of people in my life and i definitely associate them w a bunch of cultures so its aMAZINGGGGGG!!!! the world builds itself in my mind palace hehe

#ask to me #LORE #craftycorn #bobby bearhug

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thatdesklamp · 5 months

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hihi!! i absolutely love ur writing and was wondering why you dislike using y/n ? i hope this doesn’t come forward as hateful !! much love 🤍🤍

omg no not at all! This is actually a very funny question, so absolutely.

Let's talk about x reader fics, hell yeah.

This is all to do with my personal preference: when I have read x readers in the past, I have literally never imagined 'myself' as the 'reader' character. I've always found it awkward to do--it's just not my thing--and so to combat this, I just imagine the reader character as this... separate character, more of an OC than anything, and I'm just reading a fictional story and oh wow maybe she doesn't actually have a name, there we go, cool.

This then evolves into me reading x readers where the characters are, actually, essentially OCs: in order for the fic, assuming it's multi-chaptered and pretty longform, to be interesting, the perspective character needs to have good and consistent characterisation, and they can't be a bland 'eh' type person that the reader (e.g. me) can just project onto. Give me a character with flaws and personality! That's the type of 'reader character' I prefer. This is even better when authors give them a name--I've often seen authors sidestep the 'absolute OC'-ification of the reader by having the MC's 'real name' never be mentioned and them only be referred to by a nickname, or something like that. I like this! It's more fun when the MC has a name and a personality: it gives strength to the romance and idk man, I just like it, especially since this 'OC-ification' is just what I was doing anyway.

However, I still don't like 'absolute OC-ificaton', just 'partial OC-ification', and prefer a good middle mix. And I know that some readers do like to project themselves onto the MC, so I've tried to go for the same middle mix too.

You can see it in IW, really. This is the type of balance I like: I've given our MC a name, but it's only her surname, so you can pretend that her first name is your name if you want to, or you can lean into the 'partial OC-ification' and chill with the fact that this is a character with a different name to you. I've definitely given Hebi a personality (or, hell, I've tried to), and she's got her own set of flaws that some people will or won't relate to. But IW's got a wordcount of over 150k now, and it would've been pretty tricky to write all that much without feeling like our perspective character was... well. A character, you know?

Despite this, I try really hard to avoid mentioning physical descriptions, because that can be pretty jarring, imo. Hence why Hebi doesn't have the wattpad-y 'long blonde hair and blue eyes and also she's 5'1 and so petite and little with F CUP TITS' etc. I try not to make overt references to hair (like, no-one will ever 'smoothly run their hands through your hair' because, like,,, not everyone has pinstraight smooth type 1 hair, yk? However, someone might 'brush some hair away' or 'curl their fingers in your hair' etc etc, since that's a bit more universal). I'm not infallible, and I've probably slipped up somewhere without noticing, but I try my best to make it as universal as I can, yk?

As for 'y/n' specifically, I just am not a fan, lmao. I find it disrupts the flow of the writing, and takes you out of the story; it reminds you that you're reading something, rather than letting you get sucked in, you know? It also reminds me of 12yo mafia alpha male harry styles wattpad fanfictions and oh lord, I would rather forget those days.

I like my little x readers where the characters have names etc, but I know some people find that to be jarring and off-putting instead of y/n! It's just what you're used to, you know? <3

#asks from la lamp de desk

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quinnonimp · 1 year

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do you have any favorite books/movies/shows? (this is me asking you to ramble about your favorite piece of media, I'm in the mood for special interest talk.)

ooo im not much of a consumer of media but one of my favorites is homestuck !!!! ill talk abt it, but mind u im kind of horrible at talking abt my interests </3

im not that old of a homestuck fan (only got into it around 2020 i think) but FUUUUUCK its such a huge part of my life and probably my longest hyperfixation, might even be a special interest with how much i still think abt it at random intervals or small associations

im honestly a little of scared of falling back into my hyperfixation of it though ? theres a few small reasons but i think its mostly just me being scared of commitment to anything as always (which is probablt also why i barely consume media) . recently i was REEEALLY close to but new ccquackity/ccwilbur activity dragged me away to safety lmfao (if u could even call a dsmp/tntduo hyperfixation safety)

smth i rly love abt homestuck is the way its so incredibly focused on characterization rather than story

like YES it does have a great story but its clearly messy n weird n hussie just kind of throws anything up in the air and just the dumbest shit ever can happens, and while that is aswell smth i absolutely fucking love - the characters r a way bigger deal n more interesting than anything the story will conjure up, and thats definitely my favorite way of writing media

cause like, yknow, good characters can absolutely save a bad story, but a good story cant rly save bad characters

plus theres so many characters and theyre all so well written that its easy to find a fan for each of them

my favorite character is 100% gamzee, im so fucking normal abt him, like oh my god i love that dude so much and the little idealized version of him i have inside my head lmao . mostly the earlier stuff is what i like of him though

fun fact ! hes part the reason im not scared of clowns anymore . i used to be terrified of clowns so when i first read homestuck i thought he was the most annoying freak in the world and DESPISED him, until i started looking more into purplebloods and gradually liked gamzee more until suddenly clowns r now my entire personality

i have so many reasons to love gamzee, but a lot of it has to do with just the plain fact i relate to him and when i see him i go "damn hes just like me fr" . like just . idk . his mannerisms n the way he dresses n looks r pretty similar to mine nowadays - except the whole "murderous instincts" thing, i think . and because of the way i havent read the comic in a while this self projection has really marinated itself

hes also sooooo brasileiro nordestino bc i said so 🤏

other favorite characters of mine are roxy, jade, kurloz, aradia, meenah, and calliope . plus, hes not a favorite but: when i got into homestuck i used to be a way louder energetic person, so my friends would say i was literally karkat, which infuriated the hell out of me x)

classpects is one of my biggest interests in homestuck, i fucking love them so much, im such a personality wizard i will latch onto anything personality related so hard . theyre great for initiating 60 page analysis on favorite characters (or ocs) and are so amazing for characterizing ocs its crazy, and aswell as to just classpect friends or random funny shit . i love them !!

in fact once i made an entire analysis to my friends as to why mosquitos r thiefs of blood, and there were so so so many more reasons than just the funny idea of classpecting a mosquito something called "THIEF of BLOOD"

though what i think a lot of ppl forget though is that while yes theyre heavily based on personality, theyre based on narrative aswell, which is why a real person can never have 1 set classpect all throughout their life since we well dont know the narrative we live in, we dont know our paths or our conclusions or how we'll end up and thats an important thing to know when classpecting since the way to godhood in sburb is a personal journey to self improvement, yknow ?

(though ofc if u wanna classpect solely based on personality go right ahead . the world is yours)

in this era of my life id consider myself a maid of space (which is a cool as fuck classpect and gets me the coolest powers EVER !!!!!!), but 1-2 years ago i considered myself a rogue of blood, then a rogue of rage, then a rogue of space (i was very rogue-ey), plus a few others here n there, and if i were to classpect myself from 3-4 years ago i would be a witch of rage/blood

i just think seeing the way change happens and the way we can see that change through a silly lens such as classpects is cool . with the way my obsessions work im obviously gonna look at the world with anything that associates with my interests in the back of my head, so im gonna start classpecting something like a glass jar if i take a look at it, and thats fun as hell !!

ive changed a lot throughout the years just as everyone does and im gonna continue changing, so who knows what classpect i end up with in another year or two ! its fun to think abt

ill leave my thoughts with that but thanks for asking :.))))

#anon #mailbox #quinnotalk #tumblrimp

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vonkarma2 · 1 year

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4 + 14 + 23 + 27 + 34?!

4. How did you find the name for a certain character?

I have the same process pretty much all the time I feel bad bc this is such a fun question or it would be 😞 no ones named after anyone or like has their name chosen based on the meaning actively I just like look up names for the place and time period and pick whichever I think fit the character or I already have a name in mind when I make them. I’m like wondering if there were any exceptions. Oh I did want my character Adam’s name to sound like a pseudonym instead of a regular name right bc he’s an SCP agent type like mysterious or whatever. So I used a stage name generator to find out his last name (Adam I just liked how it sounded + the fact that it was biblical). I also like the last name King bc he is also in a position of authority over the other characters at times so it makes sense I guess.

14.Which OC/s do you relate to the most?

Kind of embarrassing to answer lol like this has to be at least a little personal. I like actively try to make OCs different from myself so I’m not just projecting onto them yk. Like that would be first of all embarrassing LMAO but second of all it it wouldn’t be very interesting to explore I feel like. In my opinion it’s better to start with something you can understand, but like have layers of complexity that you don’t relate to at all or whatever. I don’t really know. But to answer the question I think I relate to like the 3 main OCs of Rocio Angel and Cirillo the most :P maybe Lucia as well.

23. Have you ever seen something/someone that looks like one of your characters IRL? What was it like?

I actually haven’t that I can remember like not particularly. I have seen some people sometime where I was like ok I should draw a character’s hair or eyes or etc more like them. Like bc I was trying to draw them a certain way but wasn’t 100 sure how but I’d see someone who looked like them irl and I was like ok ok like that. Ofc Ive seen people with some shared traits, but no one who really looked exactly the same, no one where like I was like omg it’s like seeing them irl yk.

In terms of seeing people irl that remind me of them though like vibes wise what I have seen is people whose clothing really reminded me of like certain characters. Like not that they would actually wear the same thing because I don’t live in a fantasy world in the 1940s but like that remind me of their personality like that they would wear it yk. One time I was like walking around in a city and saw like 10 people with really nice outfits trying to memorize them all to write them down and draw ocs in them later. I ended up doing one of them but I didn’t like how it turned out 😔

27. What's the nicest thing someone has ever said about an OC/OCs?

This question is so embarrassing I have to admit I remember specific nice things people have said about OCs. I do remember specific nice things people have said though. It is hard to pick like 1 nicest thing. You saying Rocio had autism swag is up there. My irl cousin said a bunch of REALLY nice stuff a while ago she likes reading so it was nice to see her reaction. But like every time anyone has said anything like they like a character’s personality or design or storyline or anything it’s really nice I definitely appreciate it and I will remember it forever <3

34. What scene that you've written/imagined is your favorite?

That’s a good question. I literally don’t know at all. Bc I don’t have like all the details down for most of the scenes I’m thinking so all the ones I’ve like thought abt vividly just have a cool visual to go with them and that’s abt it. That makes it sound shallow it’s not that it’s just like I like the emotion of the scene and the idea behind it but not really any of the specifics you know. So I feel like if I tried to pick one it wouldn’t be like a nuanced pick it wouldn’t be like because it develops the character in this way yk it’d be like bc it’s the climactic scene where this character almost dies and it’s so cool or something like that. Does that even make sense.

Ok time to actually answer the question. I wish I had thought of more scenes that like show the dynamics between characters that I like bc my plan with that was to write it in wherever it felt intuitive yk. Like check up on the chastcters’ emotional states to see how they’re reacting to plot events. I just realized as writing this I think I want to have Tiago live for longer. Ok ignore that thats not important ummm I think the only scene I’ve really thought much about along those lines is the one where Cirillo and Laura meet again after a long time. I like the conflict there I like the characters a lot and I think it has the potential to be a very satisfying scene <3. Also maybe like denouement stuff where Rocio is like hi getting back from thr underworld was so annoying anyway sorry for almost ruining your lives and getting you killed. As you can see I haven’t really developed that part of the story yet but I think it’d be cool to see as well

#Im going to have to change Gawain’s name #because I have an active investment in like the knight of the round table gawain now 😞#<Im not actually going to #also this reminded me I need to start putting my art into a folder #I always have to re export them from procreate I can never find the ones I need 😭#also I might write something with Rocio and Yiming of all people lol #I think it’d be an interesting change of pace #also also maybe develop the plot line with the assassins in a little more depth?#my main thoughts rn are to make everything more complex #+ just have there be more going on #Lucia and Joanna subplot as well esp since it’s been like revamped #I like it though I think it gives Lucia more to do #only problem is figuring out her character development 😔#well whatever I’ll get to it for sure #wow thats a lot ok anyway thanks again for sending this in :)#my ocs

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david-watts · 2 years

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the anonymously ask me 3 things thingy

-your fave color

-your fave drawing that you made

-and your favourite animal.

favourite colour right now I have to admit. I've come around to purple. specifically this colour

my favourite drawing I've ever made is a tough one lmao. there's works I'm proud of doing and like because of the vibe and the story behind it but nowadays I fuckin. loathe them because my art skill has improved a lot. there's also a couple I'm proud of and can remember fairly well but I can't confirm that because I do not have access to them. and really I can't say I have a favourite full stop because what if I make something better tomorrow, like I try to do? though this drawing I did of the fifth doctor is. pretty fuckin cool because I finally did dr who fanart and it wasn't of a companion

and uh. this digital painting of my oc jimmy I did. I was gonna add another digital piece I did but I don't think I actually posted it here and I really ought to since I haven't posted in ages. but considering a) I don't paint and b) I did this at 7-8am while vividly hallucinating and c) I don't think my style is particularly conducive for painting in

and lastly we got this one which is again of jimmy. whenever I draw him well I draw him REALLY well. maybe because I subconsciously project onto him even though he's a whiny emo bitch.

oh EW that's compressed. anyway you get my point. or maybe you get that I'm indecisive it's up to you man

and again favourite animal isn't something I can really put one definite animal because my weird. really weird empathy will not let me (as I say, I have empathy only for animals and fictional old people) but forcing myself I'm gonna say the fennec fox. their ears are SO big I love it

anyway thanks for asking! hope this is. intelligible. I do have a habit of rambling and not making sense to myself so

#I am forcing everyone to look at my fifth doctor fanart because I'm That Guy and when I posted it on twitter #the tweet about how I got the sudden homosexual urge to draw him got more likes than the actual drawing.#long post

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artdecosupernova-writing · 1 year

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OC Kiss Week Day 4: Proposal

WIP: Partners Pairing: I’d like it to be Reagan x Ben, but it’s technically Reagan x Carolyn sigh Timeline: pre-Partners (I think, like, 1942 or something, probably around the time of their first kiss and I’ve definitely gotten something wrong in the timeline oops I can probably fix this) CW: Adult conversations? “Adult” conversations? Adult conversations between two absolute children lmao oh also Ben pines big time Rating: T Words: 1,103

***

Ben crashed through Reagan's bedroom door with so much unchecked and baffling strength that it bounced off the wall and whapped him in the face. He didn't feel it in the slightest, lungs full of air he used to put into a projected roar, hand slamming the door back open.

"What THE FUCK did you DO?!"

Reagan, in bed and already halfway deep into a heart attack at this outburst, peered wide-eyed over his shoulder at Ben. "Are you completely stupid, boy," he said thickly. "It is six in the mornin'."

Ben marched over to Reagan's bed, planted a foot between his knees, and launched himself up to jump around like a madman. "'Benny, Benny, she said yes! She said yes!'" Ben grabbed a pillow and shoved it onto Reagan's face, collapsing onto him and fighting his struggles. "'I asked her to marry me and she said yes, Benny! I didn't get any input from you but I proposed to her in the middle of fucking her and she said yes!'"

Instead of the usual reaction to being smothered, Reagan started to laugh. A hearty, boisterous laugh that almost displaced Ben entirely.

Ben yanked the pillow away.

"First," Reagan said when he could get air, "I knew you weren't fully awake when I told you that as it's been a full three hours now. Second..." He started giggling again and rubbed his eyes of sleep. "How'd you know that's what happened?"

Crossing his arms, Ben straddled Reagan's thighs over the thin sheet. "He says this like I haven't known him for thirteen years!"

"Yeah," Reagan sighed, pushing himself into a sitting position with his elbows. "Thirteen incredibly long years."

"You're avoiding my wrath," Ben said, jabbing the pillow at Reagan's chest. "You went and got engaged without talkin' to me about it first, shit-for-brains."

Yawning, Reagan nodded. "Uh-huh. Shall you flog me now or later?"

Ben paused as Reagan's face split into a sly grin and he angled it up to him. "This…this is a big step, Reggie. I wanted to know."

"I told you I was gonna do it. I told you last month that Carolyn and I were talkin' about getting married someday, and we didn't know when exactly, but..." Reagan bit his lip and arched a brow. "Also take into account the fact that I was kinda in the heat of the moment."

Ben slid off his legs and slumped beside him. "I ain't ever had sex that good."

"You ain't ever had sex with me."

"I ain't ever wanted to!" Ben squeezed the back of his own neck to force away the heat rising in his face. Things between them still hadn't gone back to normal after Reagan's most recent birthday. "…You get her a ring yet?"

"No. I was thinkin' you could help me with that."

In the shadows of the dark room, the highlights of the hallway lamp streaming in through the open door, Ben caught something crossing Reagan's face that he didn't expect. Something haggard, something broken and tired.

What Ben didn't realize was that he was practically looking into a mirror.

"You want me to?"

"Yeah." Reagan swallowed. "Wouldn't be fair to leave you out of every important part of this. You're gonna be my best man, after all."

"Your best man." Ben remembered he still held the pillow and looked down at it. "Sounds good."

"C'mon," Reagan said, throwing the sheet aside. "Sleep here. We got a few hours left yet."

Ben could feel Reagan stretched out alongside him. This was par for the course, natural for them, always had been, but now it held a different weight. Ben became too aware of the slowing breath behind him, the arm curled under the pillow he'd used several moments before as a weapon of potential death that now nursed his own head. He scrutinized Reagan's hand peeking out by his face. Stared at the ring finger. He wouldn't know until later that it wasn't the correct hand, but he pictured a thick metal band around that finger, pictured his best friend standing at an overly Christian altar in an overly Christian church and exchanging vows with Carolyn.

The first time Reagan told Ben he loved him was in a situation much like this. In 1935, the night before Reagan started high school, snuggled up next to each other, Ben half asleep as Reagan's fading Irish accent murmured three words that always meant something different every subsequent time they said it to each other.

And now, Ben wanted Reagan to turn over, wanted him to wrap his arms around him, to say it again into his ear. He wanted to be the only one who got to hear him say it. He wanted to hear him say it the way he said it to Carolyn. He wanted him to ask him to marry him the same way he asked her.

The hand on his hair was not a dream. Stroking it away from his forehead, singing softly to the back of his neck. He opened his eyes a little and only a hint of sunrise took a peek from outside. And he toed the line of sleep again; the Reagan that Ben wished he'd be kissed the skin under his ear, bunching the front of his pajama shirt in a fist.

"I love you," he said, and this time he meant it in a way he'd never meant it before. Painted his body in a blush. Manipulated him with his palms, molded him out before him, hovered over him, lips parted against his, against him, the same breath that can conjure an inhuman melody at will warming his flesh.

Why was he so afraid of this? The images in his subconscious were the most beautiful images he'd ever seen. He'd never witnessed Reagan flush with passion but he could very easily picture it. Face, chest, more, warming pink under his touch, and he was afraid of this?

Ben awoke once more and it took a moment for him to notice the aggressive sunlight. It took another moment for him to comprehend that he was facing Reagan, who wasn't at all aware of anything. Brows bunched in consternation. Face soft with sleep. Absolutely nothing at peace in his mind, whatever was going on.

"I love you," Ben said.

Reagan nodded, groggy. "Mm. Love you too, Benny."

And he turned over. Asleep.

Reality crashed hard. Ben slipped out of Reagan's bed, padded down the hall, and crawled into his own without making a sound, forcing himself—like he always did—to just be happy with things the way they were.

#OCK1 #Partners #PI #pre-trilogy 1 #repost

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honeysidesarchived · 3 years

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WHERE THERE IS NO TEMPTATION, THERE IS NO GLORY.

⊱ a santino d'antonio / oc short-fic

interlude ii ( read on ao3 ) ( masterlist )

words: 2.4k

warnings: none really! just an impending, pervasive sense of doom.

rating: m/t

notes: so happy to have finally gotten this little interlude edited and pieced together! just more soft moments because they deserve it considering what's going to be coming up. thank you everyone who has been reading/interacting with this little love project of mine; it took a minute to get myself dug out of the trenches and posting bite-sized chapters because this is a short-fic is definitely doing something to me (lmao) but we're here!

as always you can find translations on ao3, where it's easier to store them in a place that doesn't get in the way.

There is very little time between when Santino cooks her dinner and when he moves her into his apartment. It happens without much acknowledgment from her; she finds herself swallowed up in moments of casual intimacy that break her down to nothing except a girl in love.

Santino wakes her up by kissing her neck and pulling her against his chest; she makes him dinner barefoot in the kitchen, all of the recipes that her mother taught her, and he drags his hand along her hip to reach over her into the cupboard; he stands still and obedient while Euphemia slides his tie into place, and when he zips her dress for her, he peppers her shoulder with kisses. He tolerates taking a walk through the park, even in the chilliness of late Fall or Winter, because Euphie can’t stand to not get some fresh air once a day. When one of her friends asks why he lets her bully him into the cold weather, he wraps his arms around Euphie with a sly smile and says, “How could I not, when I am the one who gets to warm her up after?”

He is an exceptionally tactile man. There is always a reason for him to touch her, trace each line of her, put his lips against her skin. Santi isn’t a man who loves; he covets. And Euphemia shouldn’t like it as much as she does, but she does. Her therapist says that it isn’t uncommon for a girl who grows up without touching to crave it, desperately, like an addiction.

So, she finds herself living in his loft to feed that addiction—which becomes their loft—and teaching him words in French, and feeding him olives while sauce simmers (and does not boil), and kissing the red-wine taste from his lips. It’s all very romantic and greatly overshadows the moments where Santino comes home raging mad, or when his bad mood takes over their conversation and stirs a fight between them. They’re both hot-headed—her more so than he—and he knows all of the ways to diffuse her while she knows none about him.

But it doesn’t matter, in the end; because Santino always kisses her, and always says, Mi dispiace, cara mi, ti amo, ti amo, ti amo, lip-locking between each break in words until her lungs ache.

Euphie has never wanted to be loved sensibly, anyway.

Making money stops becoming an issue. Santino might have been fine letting her wrap up her loose ends, so to speak, encourages her, even—“You should never leave business undone, my Euphie,”—but he’d never tolerate her continuing to skim out of the pockets of his associates. Not out of respect for them, of course, but because Santino is more than happy to provide.

“I have to do something,” Euphie insists, often. But Santino clicks his tongue and shakes his head, inspiring indignation in her. “That money goes to my mother, Santi.”

“Princesa, what are you worrying for?” He replies every time. In this instance, he is reading over some documents, his voice casual, simple, effective at bringing her to heel. “If your mama needs money, she’ll get it. Tutto quello che vuoi è tuo.”

Euphemia used to think that he was doing it to be generous, but as time goes on, she knows that isn’t the case. If Santino didn’t think he was benefitting from sending her mother money every month, he wouldn’t do it: but he does. Euphemia stops playing at arm candy for other powerful men; he endears himself to her by taking care of her mother; he endears himself to her mother; he’s afforded a sense of control. There is no facet of it where he isn’t getting something out of it. And she thinks, too, that maybe Santino likes it like this, where she is completely reliant on him for everything.

She doesn’t mind so much.

She would, if Santino didn’t drench her in his longing, if he didn’t make her feel, every day, that he is desperate to treasure her. She has always heard about this kind of love—and it is love—and never thought she would have it for herself.

But she does now, and she doesn’t want to let it go.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Tea or coffee, mama?”

Santino is busying himself in the kitchen. They’ve been together for a little over a year now, and they’re on a tour of Italy—not for fun, necessarily, but for integration. They have just spent the last week with Santino’s father and sister, and now they will spend the next two days in the Tuscan countryside with her mother.

Two days for her mother, instead of the week that they gave Santino’s father and sister, in part because his father deserves more time and in part because Euphemia doesn’t think she can tolerate her mother in much more than two-day increments.

“Coffee, please,” her mother says, very charmed by Santino.

“Tea,” Euphemia interjects. She looks at her mother—her face is tired, and older than she really is. Euphie knows that this is a side effect of heavy, abusive drinking and years spent in emotional terror, not the passage of time. Still, she finds it hard to drum up anything except distant pity in her heart. “You don’t need the caffeine.”

“Oh, you always ruin my fun.”

Santino re-enters the room with a small cup—it’s an espresso cup, but he’s poured it with regular coffee.

“A compromise,” Santi explains, handing the cup to her mother, smiling handsomely. “To make both of my girls happy.”

Her mother preens, glows under the affection. “You are so sweet, Santi. A perfect son-in-law.”

He has always called her and her mother his girls. His own mother had passed since before Euphemia; and while he knows that Euphie’s relationship with her mother is strained at best, he does what he can to ease it. Because it makes her happy, he says, and if she’s happy, he’s happy.

“Not yet a son-in-law,” Euphie corrects, and Santino flashes her a quick, amused little smile.

“You see how cruel she is to me, madonna? I have asked her to marry me, you know.”

“Santi,” Euphemia sighs, but it has had its desired effect; her mother looks scandalized, mortified at her daughter’s resistance to marrying a man as good and handsome and charming as Santino.

“Effie, tell me that you haven’t been bullying Santino like this?”

“Mama, there is no reason—he is just teasing. Ascoltami, you don’t need to look so horrified.”

“I do not know where I went wrong with you, Euphemia Sancia.” Her mother clicks her tongue, muttering something under her breath and taking a drink of the coffee Santi made her, and Euphemia can’t bring herself to say that not everything she has done wrong in her life is a slight against her mother’s parenting skills.

Santino smiles and leans across to Euphie, bringing her hand up to kiss it.

“Don’t worry,” he says to her mother, his voice blooming with practiced warmth. “I will ask her as many times as it takes for her to say yes.”

Euphemia feels her heart stutter painfully in her chest. She knows that he means it; he’s suggested it to her three times, now. It seems to be the only thing he doesn’t mind asking more than once.

“She’s always been fussy, my Euphemia,” her mother says, breaking the magic of Santino’s eyes on her. “Never happy with what she has, just like her father. Except for you, Santi—you are the only thing she holds onto.”

Exasperation and disgust flood over her. Both the mention of the man considered to be her father and any similarities they might share has her mood souring. “Mama—”

But Santino is sweeping in, like he always does when he can tell Euphie is getting tired of her mother, coming to a stand and asking her, “We should get started on dinner, cara mia, don’t you think?”

Just like that, he’s taken control of the conversation again. He sees her flailing and steadies her. Euphemia is certain that he doesn’t love her mother—that he doesn’t even like her—but that he can spend his time tolerating her with charm and grace despite knowing what her mother allowed to go on under their roof is indicative of the man that Santino is.

“Yes,” she replies, standing as well. “You look tired, mama. Take a rest while Santi and I make dinner.”

She wanders into the kitchen with Santino trailing after her. As soon as they’re alone, he winds his arms around her waist and kisses the juncture between her shoulder and neck.

“Is it true?” he asks coyly. “That you don’t hold on to anything except for me?”

She doesn’t want to tell him very much, because he knows already, and because to say it out loud will give it legs. A year together, and she still doesn’t want her feelings for him to have legs. Santino splays his fingers against her sternum and kisses her jaw.

“You know that it is,” she says at last, her voice a little unsteady. She can feel Santi smiling against her skin.

“Euphie,” he purrs, “marry me.”

Yes, she wants to say, as her eyes flutter shut. Yes, I’ll marry you, Santi. Anything that you ask. I’ll do anything for you, if you would just keep saying my name like that.

She wants to say it but the words won't come out. There is nothing quite like the feeling of Santino peeling back each individual layer of her defenses, piece by piece; so close, she knows, he is so close, but not quite. Not yet. She is most comfortable keeping him at arm’s length as much as possible—to kiss and to fuck and to let someone hold you at night is one thing. To let someone in past the barbed-wire of defenses is yet another, impossibly reckless. To be seen feeling anything deranges you, as the poets like to say.

“Sancia, hm?” he continues instead, when she can’t bring herself to answer, as the words stick in her throat. It’s one of those things where Santino seems to exercise a surprising amount of patience, this whole ordeal of to marry or not to marry; later, Euphemia will come to understand that it is because Santino believes their life together to be inevitable, that she will always say yes to him, one way or another.

For now, she turns in his arms, cocking a brow at him. He continues, “It means sacred.”

Euphemia nods sagely and props herself up on the counter. “Buon ascolto, my love. I suppose that means you should work very hard to worship me well.”

Santino laughs. He leans in, trapping her against the counter—though it isn’t much of a trap if she’s a willing participant—and noses the slope of her jaw.

“Yes,” he murmurs, “I suppose that it does.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

On the last leg of their tour of families, Santino insists that they spend a few days in Rome by themselves.

The days are used mostly for doing a lot of nothing; neither of them are particularly interested in sight-seeing, but rather interested in seeing each other, a thing which they don’t seem to tire of particularly quickly. Instead, they shop, or lay in bed together until the afternoon, or go out to eat when street lights kick on and the city takes on a life of its own.

“You are much happier, Euphie,” Santino says one evening, smoothing out his napkin on the table absently, “when you are not around your mother.”

It’s not a question, per se, though she knows that he expects an answer. But she is still young and a little petulant, and she likes to push his buttons and make him say exactly what it is he means, so she takes a sip of her wine and replies, “Yes.”

He arches a brow at her. He looks particularly handsome like this, she thinks—not around his family, just eating dinner in a streetside restaurant in Rome, illuminated in warm candlelight and the glow of the streetlights outside.

“Are you going to tell me why?” he asks, amusedly.

“If you ask.” Euphemia sets her wine glass down on the table, and when Santino reaches for her hand, she lets him take it, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “But it is so boring, Santi, to talk about my mother. Why don’t you ask me about something else?”

The brunette’s mouth is curving in a little smile. “Like…?”

“Like…” Euphie gestures with her free hand, like she has to really think about it. “Euphie, how did I get so lucky to have a woman like you? That is a good place to start. Or, what will you do with me once you get me back to the hotel? Or, Euphie, will I ever be so fortunate as to call you my wife?”

Santino laughs, leaning into their conversation, bringing her fingers up to kiss them. He has long lashes; soft, and dark, and they brush the tops of his cheekbones when his eyes close. Santino glances from her fingers up to her, that boyish grin on his face.

“I already know the answers to the first and last question,” he says casually, like it’s no big deal, but he’s grinning wickedly at her when he says it. She scoffs.

“Dimme poi,” Euphie insists. “I am dying to know, Santi.”

His expression is very sage, very wise, and he nods his head. “Il destino,” he says, winding their fingers together, “e tra un anno.”

There is something very heart-stopping about the way Santino articulates il destino, as though it is fact, as though there is something undeniable about their coming together.

“How do you know?” she asks. “In a year?”

“Because if you do not want to marry me by then,” Santino replies matter-of-factly, “then I am certainly not suited for marriage at all.”

She rolls her eyes, taking a drink of her wine and savoring the way his eyes trail over her, admiring, drinking her in.

“Well?” he prompts. She looks at him expectantly, and he reiterates, his gaze set on her, “What will you do with me once you get me back to the hotel, belladonna?”

Euphemia feels her heart stutter painfully in her chest when he looks at her like that; like she is the only person in the entire universe, like she has become the sun that snags him in her planetary pull, like he will never, ever grow tired of looking at her. It sweeps the breath out of her.

“Anything, mio amato,” she murmurs. “Anything you want, if you promise to never stop looking at me like that.”

#john wick fic #santino d'antonio/original female character #santino d'antonio #c: euphemia volpe #f: where there is no temptation there is no glory #spilled ink #john wick oc #i'm fine we're fine this is all fine nobody panic #gonna #q #this so that i can pretend i don't see it djhfbjdf #x: senza tentazioni senza onore

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sondepoch · 4 years

Note

Hello! Can I ask 6, 9 and 12? I hope you're having a good day 💖👑

6. What is a fandom you will never write for?

...Fairy Tale. It’s just. The memories. Oh my god. That was the first fandom I ever wrote for and it was such a distaster because I was such a shitty writer. Uuuurgh - it physically makes me cringe to think of those days. Smh. I kind of ruined that fandom for myself, lmao.

12. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

Break their hearts. Over. And over. And over.

I’m not a sadist, I’m seriously not - but there’s something special about the angst genre which just calls to me, and making my readers cry is my the ultimate goal of this blog :D

9. What are your favorite fanfics?

The list is waaay too long (I got carried away). So check under the cut ;)

Okay preface hgjsdkilakshflajsfhajghsqjdhajkashfjajsk this is NOT a complete list because there’s just not way I can get to everything :( I don’t want this to be a tag thing where I call out specific people on tumblr (and coincidentially make others feel bad), so I’m acc going to choose my favorite fics from ao3! Over there, the fics you see are exclusively tied to what time you log on and how far back you scroll, so don’t feel bad if you’ve written something and I haven’t mentioned it because it’s pure luck :)

Morningstar Café by demoncow97 is Lucifer x Simeon and it is perfection, every step of it (so wholesome omg)

Endangered Species by wintercelestial is Lucifer x Diavolo and it still makes me smile because of how fluffy - definitely among my favorite om! fluff fics

You'll have to ask your dad by DefenstrationProtestation (Sand_Cursive) is a 15k long character study of Lucifer and I’ve never read something which portrayed emotion so well (and holy fuck, op’s vocabulary is next-level)

The Purrfect Match by spicy-rainbow-pizza (Slowpoke_Curry) shows a cat!AU of Diavolo x Lucifer through the lens of Barbatos - and this might also be my favorite DiaLuci fic of all time just because it’s so adorable

To Set the Worst Things Right by Shardinian is among the darkest fics I’ve ever read, but op’s characterization of Satan is beautiful. Please. Read the tags on this one. I had to physically stop reading more than once, because I was so disturbed.

Checkmate by Okoru is ongoing, but it’s beautiful. DiaSatan, which is a rare pair - but OP is doing a phenomenal job

sudden and new by indiavolojones is my favorite fic by indiavolojones, which is saying a lot because I honestly adore every single thing they’ve written. It’s Asmo x Solomon, and it was written so well that I still think about this AU

the prince's consort by crestedhearts is some crushing angst, something this series is filled with. It’s centered around Diavolo and Barbatos and it is beautiful, from start to finish

Cause You Don't Really Want to Go by polandspringz is the best Mammon fic I’ve ever read. It takes an extreme angle on his treatment from his brothers, but the conclusion...is perfect. MC is in this, but it’s not an x reader - but its message and execution is stunning

Operation Hot Potato by seraphinite is fucking. Brilliant. Ugh, it really might be my favorite Lucifer x reader fic of all time because the premise is so beautiful and the MC is so easy to project onto - I’ve reread this too many times for my own good.

intertwined by migraineroom is some wholesome Barbatos. And I’m a die-hard Barbatos fan <3

gently forced by luxettenebrae sends powerful messages about rape and friendship. And how the two cannot coexist within the same person. Levi-focused. It was terrifying to read. Look at all the tags before you start.

Carajillo by indiavolowetrust is my favorite OC fic. I recognize the stigma around them, but holy fuck. The plot. This one hits different. Barbatos-centric

Where Their Duties Lie by MayoraSadist is the fic which inspired Have Strength, My Lady. It was one of the first OM! fics I’ve ever written, and my heart never recovered from the angst

my salvation, my my by sawankos is my favorite asmo x simeon fic. It’s the kind of beautiful, soul-crushing angst which makes you want to give up yourself for these two lovers to be able to be together

Devil Doms by joonie_beanie features all the characters and it is pure smut, from start to finish. Super indulgent, but I adore every second of it - oml op’s writing style is on point

The Hardest Lessons Are Learned Alone (But We'll Pass the Test Together) by BBASLML is part of another larger smut series, featuring all the characters. It actually follows plot without being boring, and I love op for being able to do that

Ecdysis by AngelusLorelei is some fluff and angst, featuring all the brothers + the angels. Beautiful. Lovely. Elegant.

Ask me questions about my writing! :D

#sonde #sum fic recs under the cut

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squidthechaotickid · 3 years

Note

Does Star like chocolate? I can’t remember if you ever mentioned it. OH. ALSO. WHAT’S THEIR BIRTHDAY/AGE? If you want can you infodump? Sorry for the questions I just really wanna know more about him. They’re awesome.

I did not mean to write so much but I opened a Google doc to type in the infodump about him and it is 606 words sjdhdhrhhdjdjghshd

I don't think I ever mentioned it but I'd say he likes chocolate! I never thought of his birthday, but Imma go with December 28, since that's the day I made him, and he's like 13, sometimes I draw him younger though lmao.

And now, to ~infodumping about random facts about Star~

He LOVES space. Ask him about it and he will be talking for HOURS unless someone stops him. His parents usually let him rant about his random facts to them while they're doing chores or just in general. He especially love exoplanets (cue me self projecting that onto my OC--) He has several NASA posters and drawings of different planets pinned to his wall, along with a model of the solar system hanging from his roof

He also loves flowers! While they don't know as many facts about them as they do about space, he does know a lot of different species and how to take care of him. His room has at least 5 different plants (I don't have any knowledge about flowers though lmao)

His room is full, in case you couldn't tell. Between the plants, space stuff, and random things he has, it's not at all bland.

He reads and writes fanfic a lot. Some cool show he saw? He drew the characters and has an entire coffee shop AU fic planned.

He doesn't get to see Uncle Nightmare a lot, since, you know *gestures to the war between Nightmare's Gang and the Star Sanses* Sometimes, though, he'll see Night in an AU. Nightmare doesn't know Blue and Dream are together, much less that they have a kid, but Star still considers just going over and talking to him. He hasn't, as of yet, but it'll happen eventually.

He's a bit impulsive, and tends to do things without thinking. Ink has been banned from watching them alone since they accidentally set the microwave on fire last time (then proceeded to open a portal screaming and throwing it into some poor Snowdin's snow to put it out.)

He's not too good at magic. He's tried, the best he can do is normal and blue bone attacks. They tried a gaster blaster, but it was tiny and they couldn't control it at all (Blue got blasted in the face, it didn't hurt much though.) Because of this, Star tends to use a bow instead. He can summon some magic arrows, and is able to summon the bow to him like Ink can do with Broomie (in my headcanon of Ink anyways)

Like Dream, he can feel others emotions, but it's a lot more muted. He can tell if they're upset, happy, excited, etc, but it's… blurry? Like how someone who needs glasses would see without them. It's like a blob of emotions, not a clear picture.

He's a panromantic ace, he's also demiromantic. They're a demiboy, and use he/they pronouns.

His love language is definitely touch. He hugs his friends a lot, and his parents. He would DIE for hugs /lh

He got his crown for his 5th birthday, it was too big then but the second it fit (around age 8, it was still kinda loose then) he REFUSED to take it off for anything other than a shower and to sleep.

He is v short. Smol bean.

Is he 13? Yes. Will he still play hide and seek and other "childish games?" He will and he will DOMINATE.

He is physically incapable of sitting still for more than 5 minutes.

Thank you for reading my rant jshdhdhdhfhf

#Squid answers stuff #OC #Star!sans #dreamberry #dreamberry ship kid #undertale ship kid #OC infodump #OC info

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spacetimewraithwrites-archive · 3 years

Text

OC Kiss Week Day 4: Proposal

WIP: Partners Pairing: I’d like it to be Reagan x Ben, but it’s technically Reagan x Carolyn sigh Timeline: pre-Partners (I think, like, 1942 or something, probably around the time of this piece and I’ve definitely gotten something wrong in the timeline oops I can probably fix this) CW: Adult conversations? “Adult” conversations? Adult conversations between two absolute children lmao oh also Ben pines big time Rating: T Words: 1,104

***

Ben crashed through Reagan’s bedroom door with so much unchecked and baffling strength that it bounced off the wall and whapped him in the face. He didn’t feel it in the slightest, lungs full of air he used to put into a projected roar, hand slamming the door back open.

“What THE FUCK did you DO?!”

Reagan, in bed and already halfway deep into a heart attack at this outburst, peered wide-eyed over his shoulder at Ben. “Are you completely stupid, boy,” he said thickly. “It is six in the mornin’.”

Ben marched over to Reagan’s bed, planted a foot between his knees, and launched himself up to jump around like a madman. “‘Benny, Benny, she said yes! She said yes!’” Ben grabbed a pillow and shoved it onto Reagan’s face, collapsing onto him and fighting his struggles. “‘I asked her to marry me and she said yes, Benny! I didn’t get any input from you but I proposed to her in the middle of fucking her and she said yes!’”

Instead of the usual reaction to being smothered, Reagan started to laugh. A hearty, boisterous laugh that almost displaced Ben entirely.

Ben yanked the pillow away.

“First,” Reagan said when he could get air, “I knew you weren’t fully awake when I told you that as it’s been a full three hours now. Second....” He started giggling again and rubbed his eyes of sleep. “How’d you know that’s what happened?”

Crossing his arms, Ben straddled Reagan’s thighs over the thin sheet. “He says this like I haven’t known him for thirteen years!”

“Yeah,” Reagan sighed, pushing himself into a sitting position via his elbows. “Thirteen incredibly long years.”

“You’re avoiding my wrath,” Ben said, jabbing the pillow at Reagan’s chest. “You went and got engaged without talkin’ to me about it first, shit-for-brains.”

Yawning, Reagan nodded. “Uh-huh. Shall you flog me now or later?”

Ben paused as Reagan’s face split into a sly grin and he angled it up to him. “This...this is a big step, Reggie. I wanted to know.”

“I told you I was gonna do it. I told you last month that Carolyn and I were talkin’ about getting married someday, and we didn’t know when exactly, but....” Reagan bit his lip and arched a brow. “Also take into account the fact that I was kinda in the heat of the moment.”

Ben slid off his legs and slumped beside him. “I ain’t ever had sex that good.”

“You ain’t ever had sex with me.”

“I ain’t ever wanted to!” Ben squeezed the back of his own neck to force away the heat rising in his face. Things between them still hadn’t gone back to normal after Reagan’s most recent birthday. “...You get her a ring yet?”

“No. I was thinkin’ you could help me with that.”

In the shadows of the dark room, the highlights of the hallway lamp streaming in through the open door, Ben caught something crossing Reagan’s face that he didn’t expect. Something haggard, something broken and tired.

What Ben didn’t realize was that he was practically looking into a mirror.

“You want me to?”

“Yeah.” Reagan swallowed. “Wouldn’t be fair to leave you out of every important part of this. You’re gonna be my best man, after all.”

“Your best man.” Ben remembered he still held the pillow and looked down at it. “Sounds good.”

“C’mon,” Reagan said, throwing the sheet aside. “Sleep here. We got a few hours left yet.”

Ben could feel Reagan stretched out alongside of him. This was par for the course, natural for them, always had been, but now it held a different weight. Ben became too aware of the slowing breath behind him, the arm curled under the pillow he’d used several moments before as a weapon of potential death that now nursed his own head. He scrutinized Reagan’s hand peeking out by his face. Stared at the ring finger. He wouldn’t know until later that it wasn’t the correct hand, but he pictured a thick metal band around that finger, pictured his best friend standing at an overly Christian altar in an overly Christian church and exchanging vows with Carolyn.

The first time Reagan told Ben he loved him was in a situation much like this. In 1935, the night before Reagan started high school, snuggled up next to each other, Ben half asleep as Reagan’s fading Irish accent murmured three words that always meant something different every subsequent time they said it to each other.

The hand on his hair was not a dream. Stroking it away from his forehead, singing softly to the back of his neck. He opened his eyes a little and only a hint of sunrise took a peek from outside. And he toed the line of sleep again; the Reagan that Ben wished he’d be kissed the skin under his ear, bunching the front of his pajama shirt in a fist.

“I love you,” he said, and this time he meant it in a way he’d never meant it before. Painted his body in a blush. Manipulated him with his palms, molded him out before him, hovered over him, lips parted against his, against him, the same breath that can conjure an inhuman melody at will warming his flesh.

Why was he so afraid of this? The images in his subconscious were the most beautiful images he’d ever seen. He’d never witnessed Reagan flush with passion but he could very easily picture it. Face, chest, more, warming pink under his touch, and he was afraid of this?

Ben awoke once more and it took a moment for him to notice the aggressive sunlight. It took another moment for him to comprehend that he was facing Reagan, who wasn’t at all aware of anything. Brows bunched in consternation. Face soft with sleep. Absolutely nothing at peace in his mind, whatever was going on.

“I love you,” Ben said.

Reagan nodded, groggy. “Mm. Love you too, Benny.”

And he turned over. Asleep.

Reality crashed hard. Ben slipped out of Reagan’s bed, padded down the hall, and crawled into his own without making a sound, forcing himself—like he always did—to just be happy with things the way they were.

#ockiss21 #Partners #it's always Ben innit #probably cuz Reagan's not nearly as confused about his feelings lmao #idk maybe this won't be canon #god damn the man haunts him like he haunts me dslkajkdjfh

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discoveringenterprise · 3 years

Text

“RYAN WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO?!” and other shit you might wonder

First off: I am so sorry for disappearing off of the face of the earth oh my god

Second off: I’m going on an indefinite hiatus as of Sundayish. Yes, you read that right, an indefinite hiatus. All the content on the blog will stay for our enjoyment, and I fully authorize use of my gifs anywhere and everywehre

Third off: if you’re struggling rn, shit gets better, PLEASE trust me on this.

TLDR of this post; I got better, so can you, and I’m heading out.

ENT GC: let me know if you want admin. Do what you want with the blog, and if you wanna make a new group chat, please do so since I won’t be around to add people.

How can I contact you/get your contact info before you go? Dallyn and Daphne have my contact info so if you ever need to reach me and I’m gone... yeah. Like I said, I’ll be heading out Sundayish, so I’ll periodically log in here if you wanna talk to me/get my info before I go.

What’s your actual name? That... that’s a long story, too. LMAO. Especially if you know me. DM me for the story if you know me.

Why are you leaving? So, as you guys know, I started college, which is completely and utterly whack. Everything is changed, everything is different and I have friends now? Like, WTF. I’ve been so wrapped up in work it took me forever to get on here after Dallyn texted me “your account got hacked” so... oops. I let everyone into the ent gc (oh my GOD i look back at that and have a love/hate relationship with it!) and let me know if you figure out a way to make admins on it??? I’m confused AF.

I’m going to be focusing off college and staying off Tumblr for a while. It was 2 am technically today and I was reading all my old posts like “jfc I was so depressed???” and now I’m just... not. I made friends, real friends, over the summer. People who understand and get it (and yes some of them are ent stans.)

Why did you disappear in May and why are you leaving again? Shortly put, and I don’t mean to sound mean, I made real friends. Real as in I will physically interact with them in real life (aka college friends). I kind of weaned off Tumblr slowly, and only kept going back for the ent gc (I LOVE YOU GUYS THOUGH!!!). And it kinda became a drag.

When I came back to Tumblr, it was like late January and early February. I’d just got out of the Instagram rping world and was so tempted to start one here, but I was scared and intimidated, and I’m glad I didn’t. Breaking off rp was the best thing I’d ever done for myself, and the best thing that this toxic girl ever did for me. My shitty mental health had been kinda dependent on this rp, it’s hard to explain, but I was being a jerk and kinda had been since freshman year with projecting my feelings onto my character’s and blurring the lines far too much between me and her. She was (and is!) still hella overpowered, hella perfect, and something that would absolutely never happen in canon.

Honestly, this whole situation was basically the lyrics to the song Clarity ft. Foxes by Zedd. I love that song, go give it a listen.

Point being, I got myself off of that once I realized. The problem had started in January 2017, ran through October 2017, and then took a hiatus until junior year but only started to really manifest itself in February 2019. And honestly, mainly when school started back, in September/October 2019 and lasted until January 4 when she and I had our last fight. (She messaged me again, later- here- and since making that post, we’ve ended things on neutral terms.)

So I came here. Tumblr. I’d been here in 2017 right after the OTHER rp ended, and I think Tumblr became my new outlet then, too. I was a baby in the middle of my freshman year then. And then there I was, coming full circle. As a senior in high school. I read all of my old posts about how I’d never make it, and there I was. I’d made it. The end of HS was in sight.

I straight up vibed through all of May. Now, I was slowly making friends in college already, but it only really took off in April and May, which is when I left. I focused more on those, building those connections. I loved you guys on Tumblr, I still do, but I was definitely going to meet these college friends. And as I pulled my head out of Tumblr, I got a job, an actual paying job , in June- and I was already gone.

As I looked back on my posts last night/this morning I was thinking “oh my GOD what the fuck” because jfc, Tumblr had turned into the place where I vented. And then as I got through the months, I became happier. The pandemic was around, duh, and I didn’t have as much school stressing me out, there wasn’t as much craziness around. I was free, I didn’t have people from high school to deal with, and I got better on my own.

YEAH, I was talking to a college guy. And yeah, that was nice, but it was more of a side thing. He was my friend, and he played me, but I learned to be myself. Learned to love Enterprise wildly and give absolutely no fucks.

And it is oh so nice to give zero fucks. It’s an amazing feeling. I hope everyone gets there someday. And yeah, I’ve had moments where people don’t like me, and moments where I’ve felt down, depressed. That’s not saying life is always perfect 100% of the time.

But what I’m trying to say is: it gets better. And to me, Tumblr was like a crutch. Sometimes you need it to help you stand, but when you think you always need it, and can stand on your own, that’s where the problem is. In May, I became confident enough to let the crutch go. And I’m thankful that I did that.

I still love you guys, everyone reading this post, the people that know me and are going to miss me. It’s not that I hate this website or anything- I just stopped using it as a crutch, you know?

Where can I read this crazy fanfic? DM me, haha. It’s the classic “self-insert but NOT a self-insert” fanfiction originating form a fifth grade idea, reformatted by my depressed fourteen-year-old self. And I wouldn’t change it for the world. Yes, it’s Star Trek.

I also have one for the girl’s relative, too, which IMO is much better. She’s less overpowered, more of a real human being.

So why mention the fanfic and RP? It’s weird; I’ve come full circle. I wanted to be this perfect girl, and then I planned how she’d finish her story (and I’m finishing it. I am, I promise, because she’s a part of me that I wouldn’t trade for anything). As I’ve taken a break from the E/AP-verse (my public nickname for it haha, someone found out here) I’ve realized again, I came full circle.

All I wanted back then was to be happy and I thought a guy would do it. Popularity, a bunch of friends, a “hot body” (btw FUCK BODY SHAMING and you’re all perfect) and all that BS that the media tells you. What really gives you happiness (or at least me)? Confidence. The fact that I know I have friends I can count on here. Yeah, a relationship is nice, but complete yourself before you get into one.

And when I planned my OC’s ending back in February, that’s what she got. She’s married in my head now, to her (and my!) perfect guy, but the important part is that she’s happy, and she’s herself before she got married. Before she got in her relationship.

So, yeah. I think that covers it. In all honesty, if you have more questions, send them to the ask box and I’ll tag them and all this as “ry’s goodbye” and update my nav page. It’s 12:39 AM so please excuse any typos!

Bye, guys. For now, at least.

I love you.

#ry's goodbye

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albatris · 3 years

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Hi hello I hope you're doing well and getting read to sn00ze soon, STS! Saturday! Yes! Cause you're an artist and a writer, I was wondering how much the two mediums bleed into each other? Does drawing something out help you visualise it better, or do they not really interact much at all?

hello hi hey there and happy storyteller saturday :D thank you for the question!! I hope ur having a cool day B)

and even though you sent this yesterday you telling me to sn00ze is equally applicable today as it is almost every day of the week so................ yep, I’ll be sure to get onto that at some point. you’re probably going to make a >:c face at me for answering this at 3:06am

anyway! this is an interesting question! and a good one! unfortunately it may not have a very interesting answer?

my initial response was gonna be that they don’t really bleed into each other at all, but then........ nah, they kinda do

(and then about halfway through typing this draft I was like But What About Undertow, and my response became “oh yeah they definitely do”, but I’ll get to that in a bit)

but yeah! I think my writing definitely influences my art! both in the sense that I tend to draw mostly story stuff, ‘cause I like my stories and drawing is fun, but also in terms of like....... inspiration! usually I have a pretty good image of stuff in my head already while I’m writing, n sometimes this image will make me go “hell yeah I vibe with this I wanna draw it”, but the art itself generally turns out nothing like what I envision and usually takes a life of its own ‘cause I’ll just end up drawing whatever looks cool hahahaha

so I get some neat experiments and doodles and weirdness in various art pieces that definitely stemmed from story daydreams, but probably aren’t super related to the story itself in the end :P y’all don’t see much of this stuff ‘cause I mostly just post character drawings lmao

(this is bc I’m most confident with character drawings, and I will fistfight Drawing Backgrounds And Scenes in a wendy’s parking lot any day of the week)

but kinda hopping back up for a sec, one example that IS related to the story is like

drawings I’ve done that are centred in ATDAO’s unreality aren’t actually a super good representation of what the unreality is actually like? or I mean. they could be. they can be! but the drawings are centred around very literal concrete representations of glitchy weirdness

whereas in the story itself (at least to start with) there’s much more a focus on the general looming Hey Something Is Horribly Wrong vibes and, like, the unravelling and bleeding together of senses, the way the narration changes (ie the way your own thought processes slowly start becoming completely foreign to you), n just........ glitchy weirdness, but not glitchy weirdness that you can visually represent, glitchy weirdness that is canonically in the category “you can experience this and have no way to process it because a human mind is not equipped to translate it and your senses have no way of taking it in”

n then I bring the body horror in full force but that’s neither here nor there

existential terror and uncanny valley vibes r hard to draw, y’know? so the drawings mostly just wind up as me having fun with the aesthetic hahaha

but yeah, art stuff stems from story daydreams, it’s very rare that story stuff will stem from art daydreams

character drawings were something I started doing just ‘cause I liked my characters and I was vibin, but they ended up being the one exception in that they DO tend to actively inspire the decisions I make in the story itself, unlike my other art

written descriptions of people are a weak point for me, generally I’ll kinda know at least the key aspects of what folks look like, but the descriptions I come up with on page are always frustratingly vague............. n drawing them out helps me fill in the blanks and give my descriptions a bit more life and personality IMO, ‘cause I mean

there’s little things about people’s appearances that are pretty personal, little quirks or habits they have, etc, that I wouldn’t think of in writing, whereas in art they just crop up naturally

and also sometimes I’ll write a description of a character or have an image of them in my head and I’ll be like Yeah This Is Them but then when I draw them my hands will just make their own decisions

and whatever the hands create is Law and Official Canon as far as I’m concerned, I will always trust the hands over my initial plans when it comes to characters, and they have not failed me so far

and now that I’ve gone on a whole spiel about how (outside of helping me pin down character details) creating art isn’t generally something that inspires a lot of story development or daydreams, it’s time for me to completely contradict that because, like I said earlier: Undertow

this is a WIP that came into existence purely from art inspiration! basically I came up with Aster’s design on the fly because someone was like “it’s genderqueer pride day” and I was like Oh Sick Time To Make A New Genderqueer OC

most of the characters in Undertow were drawn and designed long before I had any clue who they were or what their deal was. the entire premise of Aster as a character was born within like two hours from one silly doodle. then I was like “BUT WHAT IF SHE HAD FRIENDS” so I drew some friends, who ended up being Kit and Meg. n their relationships with each other and the kind of story in which they find themselves all just kind of spiralled out from a series of silly doodles and took on a life of their own :P

I think it’s a different scenario since Undertow exists purely as a vessel for shenanigans and self-indulgent nonsense, so I was feeling a lot less pressure to be grounded and serious, I could just throw things around like “amnesiac clairvoyant delivery driver with an illegal magic crime truck” and “necromancer who doesn’t believe in magic who wants to reanimate a t-rex to honour his dead wife” to see what stuck and I had no need to be like “hm, but is that Realistic, though?”

unrestrained summer fun!

it’s easier for me to let myself daydream in relation to art when there’s none of this pressure, which I think is what separates Undertow from my other projects c:

plus Undertow is the one WIP of mine that I’ve always pictured in a kind of episodic comic format, though I lack the skill set or the patience to pull this off hahaha

as such, most of my development for it comes in the form of messing around with the artistic side of things!! as it should be, I think

anyway that’s enough from me I think, thanks for reading, have a fantastic day, hope you see some cool birds (if you do please tell me about them)

#tracle0 #sts #storyteller saturday #long post

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cousinslavellan-archive · 4 years

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I don't know anything about your mass effect characters but I would love to! What classes are they in game? Any romances?

@inkberrry Oh boy I hope you’re okay with a long-ish post cause uh I’ve got a few! For the sake of both of our sanity’s I’ll stick with the main list and not kiddos oops…

My main Shepard is Arisa Shepard! She’s a Garrus-mancer - typically, if I’m writing Shakarian, it’s Arisa I’m picturing/writing. She’s an Adept Paragade in game - leaning mostly Paragon with a few Renegade interrupts. She more or less looks like default femshep with short-short hair.

(I have an AU series where she and Garrus get married near the end events of ME2 and she never goes into lockdown that I… need to finish someday oops)

My second Shepard is Willow Shepard - a Thane-mancer that’s also a paragade, but took more renegade then her cousin Arisa! I tend to connect like… all my characters so, most of my stories are interconnected in some way. (I’m ridiculous I know). Willow features in the fics The Other Shepard and Falling For the Prey, both thankfully finished!! I write her as a Vanguard, although I play her as an Adept because I can’t do close combat ever ;;;

Her main fic is a sadder one as she passes about the same time as Thane - altho that does not happen the way it does in game - but oneshots make it slightly better haha. She’s another redhead! Tho I haven’t beaten ME3 with her cause… Thane;;;

Swapping to Andromeda, I only have one Ryder - because I got stupid attached to Aria and wrote a very very long fic that was meant to be a couple of oneshots. Oops. I actually played Andromeda first, so Aria was my first ME character/OC period!

She’s mostly a casual person, thrown into the mess that it is Andromeda, biotic… of course… cause long range cough… and a redhead, as seems to be a theme for my ME ‘PCs’. She’s a Jaal-mancer who’s insanely curious about everything - The Misadventures of Aria Ryder can attest to that curiosity lmao.

She and Jaal have one biological hybrid daughter, two adoptive sons, a border collie, and Jaal’s niece Tela pretty much lives at their house post-game. She’s the youngest of these three women, but she’s accomplished a lot.

OKAY NOW ONTO TOTAL OC’S… I’m so sorry omg…

Rose Evans and Rainer Vakarian are an unlikely pair that spawned in my brain from my last playthrough of Andromeda - set in the same universe as Misadventures, post game, Rose is an Initiative botanist and Rainer’s a merc mostly just looking out for himself. Opposites attract, right? These one’s definitely do!

Lily Anne Evans is Rose’s twin - who Rose initially believed had been killed in the Geth attack on a Citadel, before she left for Andromeda. She’d survived but been in the hospital in a coma, awakening with amnesia that eventually lifted.

She’s an N7 soldier who’s sent to Palaven as a sort of liaisen to help with a joint Turian-Human training regimen - where she meets up with and falls for Tiberius Ramas, who belongs to the lovely @wafflesrock16 ♥

Lily and Tibs also feature in an - omg - Soul Mate AU titled Broken Souls, because I’m ridiculous, as I’ve said lmao. It’s a lot of fun and I owe Waffles a ton for lending me Tibs.

Art by the ever amazing @savbakk ♥ Tibs and Lily on the left, Rose and Rainer on the right! ♥

AND FINALLY…. my newest pair of dorks, Regan Kelly and Teegan.

Regan is a colony kid - born blind in one eye, biotic, the quiet loner that just wants to work with her tech and be left alone. She ends up with Cerberus simply because she wants off the Colony and works on their security systems for years - she helps with Security for project Lazarus (tho she doesn’t know what the project is), and ends up on Omega during the Adjutant mess. She’s very disillusioned with Cerberus by that point, and ends up teaming up with a member of the Talons - Teegan - when they stumble into each other.

She’s a mix of engineer/sentinel, because she’s a techie biotic who has a drone named Terra (lololol cough) that stays as FAR AWAY FROM COMBAT AS POSSIBLE cause of her half-blindness. Teegan meanwhile left Palaven to escape the Cabal life (as he’s also biotic) and has been on Omega ever since, living life as a merc.

Art again by @savbakk ♥

FOR NOW I THINK THAT’S EVERYONE OMG I’M SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. Thank you for asking about them tho! I… hope this all makes sense? ;;;;

#mass effect #mass effect ocs #femshep #shakarian #shrios #rainer vakarian #rose evans #tiberius ramas #lily anne evans #regan kelly #teegan #oops this got rly long I'm sorry #inkberrry #answered asks

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authenticaussie · 5 years

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Hmm... 18 (soul eater au), 52 (roommate), 42 (marvel), 98 (leverage), and or 14 (lantern lights)

babe……….you’re my Favourite™

also, under a readmore because this got LONG as SHIT

8. Soul Eater au

the soul eater au is really scattered because my wifi sucked on that particular day and I was posting it in the mas chat (sunshinepunks) BUT the basis is weapons ace & sabo and meister Marco. It’s a lot of “dumbasses refuse to accept New Friends (because TraumaTM)” and Ace/Sabo being dicks to Marco because he refuses to give up on them. (ahhh my favourite dynamic //swoons)

Part of the plot - my favourite part of the plot - is that Sabo spends a lot of time spying on Marco to try and catch him out as Secretly A Dick and Manipulating Them, and ends up finding out that Marco really really cares about him and Ace? And the way to Sabo’s heart is thrrrroooough his besssstieeeee lmao. So Sabo ends up crushin’ hard first, but then SPYING BACKFIRES and paranoia kicks his butt and he Feels Bad because he was ONLY MEANT TO TRUST ACE and Marco HURT HIS FEELINGS (sabo you moron it’s your own fault). Anyway Ace and Marco pair up to try and make Sabo feel better and it drives Sabo even Nuttier until there is battle couple stuff and a mid-fight Feelings Fight and then a confession and then they become the DMCA power couple. Ta-da!

Ace was a pipe and Sabo was a knife! Or…..you know, something in that realm pft. Basically hitty-stick and stabby-stabby, because you could make a) an argument for their personalities Being Like That (ace is blunt and strong and easy to just hit with but if you’re clever about it he’s awesome, and has the reach to be a longer weapon, sabo is more…well a knife can be used for a lot but also it’s very….vicious. There is very little you can do to Incapacitate with a knife that is not Wow Stabbed. Which I feel is very Sabo, he’s kinda…harsh??? in his way of handling battle, I think.) and b) because in canon, Sabo’s weapon is a pipe and Ace has that knife, and I thought it’d be cool to match that.

42. New Roommate Wanted

an OC-based commission!! James moves in with a shape-shifting thief and her GF and accidentally Falls In Love snickers

It is………..I wrote it a while ago so you can definitely see the self-projection of “I want cute rich gfs to love and adore me so I don’t have to stress about a job”

52. 5+1 Marvel AU

in the actual word document the title is “If you’re broken I will mend you” (Or 5 Times Sabo was There for his Team (and one time histeam was there for him). Sabo is Coulson and Marco is Hawkeye and Ace is a Black Widow (codename: Redback). It fluctuates between sorta implying MAS (but with a definite focus on Marco/Ace) and Coby/Sabo mainly because I made Coby Captain America (YOU CAN’T!!! ARGUE!!! WITH ME!!! HE IS!!!! PERFECT!!! AS CAP!!!) and I love fics that have the lowkey “Coulson has a fanboy crush on Cap.” lol.

(also coby/sabo is. fun? crackship but So Fun.)

Here’s the shortest one haha

It takes about five minutes after the comms. go silent forSabo to know that something is wrong, and two minutes afterwards to gear up.

It takes him approximately four seconds to tear through the people trying to keep him from helping Ace and Marco.

(It takes two weeks for them to heal, no matter how fastSabo was, and a month for Sabo to get off desk duty, but Ace and Marco refuseto do missions when he’s not their handler. They refuse to do anything thatinvolves leaving his side until after he assures them he’s fine, and that hewasn’t just a S.H.I.E.L.D agent because he had a pretty face - though that hadprompted an argument about Sabo’s ‘pretty face’ that he’d had to steadfastlyignore.)

88. LEVERAGE AU MOTHERFUCKER

THIEVES! CON ARTISTS! So this one is actually three different aus in one file - there’s a “MAS but as Leverage” and it starts out as “Ace and Sabo who fill in Every Job They Can (but their specialties are Ace = grifter/hacker and Sabo = hitter/thief and I have reasons, okay) and then they try and run a con on Marco but he’s like Um Excuse Me? And then he gets dragged into their Bullshit snickers. Oh ALSO they ONE THOUSAND PERCENT do not realise they are Madly In Love With Him (but he does. And he’s trying to be patient. But also. Dying. Because wow it’s kinda awkward being in love with. two daredevil thieves)

The second one in the doc is the Leverage trio in the OP world, ‘cause duh, and Parker starts off like…trying to steal kids from being SMILE experiments? and hires Eliot and Hardison to help her. Um I think I wanted to give Hardison a DF?? But I had a whole list: there was altering people’s sight/perceptions, being able to edit vision/specifics of reality in lines of like, code?? (aka he could do Little Changes but they could affect Big Things, a butterfly effect sort of DF). A lot of them were trying to give him a way to…manipulate stuff in a world where tech wasn’t as big a thing.

And the third one is ASL leverage! Marco still gets dragged into the disaster but it’s more found family stuff.

14. Lantern Lights

Lantern Lights is technically posted [here] under “all the light we cannot hold” BUT I have MORE. I wanted to make it longer when I originally posted it - mainly because Lea asked for angst - but I ended up running out of time (I am………so bad at deadlines, jfc). Plus, with all the things I wanted to include it honestly would’ve turned into something RIDICULOUSLY long and I was already pushing 5k when gifts were a minimum of 1k.

This was the original start / end bracketing.

START:

HiAce.

Hispencil hesitated above the empty page, only a single lead smudge marring theotherwise blank paper, and Sabo sighed softly. Eraser nub ticking against thedesk, he bit his lower lip and tried to think of what else to write. He had somuch to say – about Marco, and the Whitebeards, and about the new friends he’dslowly been making, like Koala and Hack and even the standoffish, arrogant Law,but it’d been so long since he sat down to write Ace a letter that the wordsseemed to have vanished.

Hi Ace, heread, as though the greeting would organise what he wanted to say intoneat lines for him to write. He heaved another sigh, resting his chin in hispalm. Casting his eyes up to the window above his desk he watched as theburning dusk faded into twilight blue and the stars began to shine, silverglints of light that were mirrored by the compound’s lanterns flaring to life.The gleamed against the darkness and Sabo couldn’t help but be reminded ofAce’s fire. How it glowed beneath his skin, lighting him bright red in fury orembarrassment or glorious gold in his joy. Sometimes Sabo couldn’t help butwish – but hope – that Ace was still burning, somewhere out there. In the sky,with the stars-

Hecouldn’t help but selfishly hope that Ace had given part of his fire to Sabo’sheart, to burn within him.

Sabogrowled, burying his face in his hands to try and stop the subtle sting formingin his eyes. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that so many simple things couldremind him of Ace, that undeniable frustration at his uselessness still restedheavy in his every thought, that the feelings he wanted to put to paper wereimpossible to articulate.

Thesharp tip of his pencil cracked as he pressed it into the paper, and the threewords he wrote turned from his usual neat cursive into a jagged scrawl.

I miss you.

END:

-Marco thinks that ouranniversary is the battle, but I don’t like it there. Besides, having ouranniversary on your birthday? You’d expect double gifts, and we can’t havethat.

Sabo’slips quirked into a bitter smile, his eyes drawn up to the small gift stillwrapped on his desk, bow deflated from his constant touches but nonethelessstill stubbornly holding onto the silver wrapping. He’d never had a chance togive Ace his birthday gift, and was sure that Ace wouldn’t have expected it.Would he have even been given gifts, when he’d been kept on the candle wick? Orwould the gift have been an extra moment of freedom, so painfully perfect in its rarity?

Pullinghis hair away from his face, Sabo gently bit his lip and scanned what he’dalready written, trying to figure out what else to say. His fringe curled infront of his eyes when he took up his pen again, but he barely paid attentionto the soft brush of hair against his scar tissue. Two years of having them hadgotten him used to his limited vision and things in front of his face that hecouldn’t see.

He’d never seen Ace’sflustered thoughts, nor known what each fleeting touch had meant until it had beenfar too late, and couldn’t help but wonder just how blind he’d been back then.

Did I tell you thatMarco finally stopped being chickenshit and used the word ‘boyfriend’? I feellike that counts more as our anniversary than the battle, especially consideringI wasn’t much better about speaking up about “feelings” after you left. Twomonths of not talking over the topic because one third of the topic up and-

It’s pretty stupid ofus, huh?

I mean, you werepretty fucking stupid when you-

Sabocrossed out the last few words with two strokes of thick black ink, his teethgrit in a way that made his head pound.

Regardless, everythingis going fine, now. I’m sure you’d be happy to know that Marco and I havegotten past awkwardly refusing to admit to holding hands and have nowprogressed to awkwardly kissing each other on the cheek (and then refusing toadmit to it, of course. Got to keep consistency). You’d think that as someoneso attention-starved I’d be better at this, but it always feels…not wrong, persay, but, like something is missing because you’re not here.

You’re a dick forthat, Ace.

Anyway, this will bemy last letter for a while. I’m sorry it’s short, but I’m already running late;Koala and I are set to sail with the afternoon tide, for Flevance, and Marco isgoing troll hunting. Whitebeard heard there was trouble with the gnomes in thefar north mountains, so he’s going to check them out and I want to say goodbyebefore we part ways.

As always;

With love, Sabo.

#marcoacesabo #ask meme #tag games #wip meme #wip list #12freddofrogs #ask aussie #bip bop nari drops #I feel like I should have put a limit on what I'd post in the whole 'snippet' section pft #I have NO!!!! self control!!!!#maracebo

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yharnamopossum · 5 years

Text

actually u kno what i was gonna write prose tonight but instead i’m gonna vent maybe writing all this down will help me Get Over It lmao here’s some lovely bullet points for how gross and awful my ex is that people who still interact with her may wanna know before continuing to Do That:

let’s start with the incest!!!

i don’t know about y’all but uh. doing sexual roleplays with your sibling is fucking weird right lmao???? like i’m not alone in thinking that right?? she had a side blog that belonged to a “””friend””” of theirs but it was literally an oc, and they did sexual roleplays through this blog. like. no, it’s not your friend, it is YOU flirting with YOUR OWN FUCKING SISTER what the FUCK is wrong with you

who shares porn and sex toys with their sibling. who. WHO. THAT ISN’T FUCKING NORMAL. fuckssAKE.

i remember once her sis was having some, uh, reproductive health issues, and she fuckin described it to me in like aggressive detail, as if she’d seen it. like. why are you sticking your nose in your sister’s vag. no, that’s not normal. that’s GROSS. what the FUCK.

she once told me details of her sister’s, uh. private landscaping habits lmfao. 1, why do you know your sister’s grooming habits and 2. WHY ARE YOU FUCKING TELLING ME. why do you know these things!! who keeps track of their siblings’ fucking genitals & how they present them lmfao!!!

we once were gonna have a “date” (ie voice chat & games) and once the shit connects “oh tea’s here hope that’s okay :)” UM. NO? YOU GONNA INVITE YOUR FUCKING SISTER ON DATES? like how far was that gonna go lmfao. as if the fact these creeps were sexual with each other wasn’t gross enough, the knowing that if i’d stayed in that situation i probably would have gotten dragged into some weird incest shit is WORSE LOL. fucking CHRIST.

speaking of sexual shit that’s Not Cool that she thought Was Cool, how about more stuff including noncon and pedophilia!!

i had to CONSTANTLY remind her of shimon’s sexuality because she was always trying to make him more sexual than he is. maybe not a big deal on paper, but he is based on ME, A SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR. no, i don’t like the idea of a chara i project onto getting pressured into sex by his boyfriend!! i don’t like the idea of his boyfriend forcing children on him!!!! she once, like, pointed out oliver would surprise kiss him for the first time, which HEY HELLO IS NOT COOL TO BEGIN WITH, but then when i tried to dismiss it with “uhh yeah shimon would punch him in the face” she went “haha lol canon!!!” LIKE??? YES SEXUAL ASSAULT RESULTING IN PHYSICAL ASSAULT IS GREAT!

also the time she made the punchline of a porn comic oliver sexually assaulting shimon lmfao. “haha he doesn’t want to have sex but he’s making him!! silly and fun!!!! hashtag they fuck lol!!!” fuck off

and it wasn’t just them, it was like. everything was SO sexual always. it was so uncomfortable!! like i get i’m kind of a prude but???

okay big one is like. literally she said nicko and cal had shared vows and were married and then cal goes off and fucks and impregnates someone else. cool! cheating on your spouse is cool apparently!!! but the worst part is she SOLELY referred to it as “blowing off steam” HELLO???? lmfao you really consider someone cheating on their spouse just “blowing off steam”??? this is your definition of it?? this is the character you’ve based on YOURSELF???

and that’s the thing, too. like all these violent and sexually abusive characters she said were based on herself. cool. neat. no wonder i was always paranoid about getting cheated on or getting beaten once we met lmao

cal also weirdly pressures nicko into sex and like. says a bunch of shit that makes him uncomfortable in fics and it’s all uwu cute~ in her mind. like. no. and the worst part is she’s so fucking dense she doesn’t even understand that the shit she’s writing is unacceptable!!! you wanna write noncon into your stories and ocs’ backgrounds?? fine! go ahead! it’s venting! i did the same shit with theo! but ACKNOWLEDGE IT FOR WHAT IT IS!! fucksSAKE dude

that’s all noncon and shit. how about the weird fetishisation of gay people in general lmao. i’m pretty sure i don’t need to go into this cus anyone who’s ever seen her stuff would Get It lmao.

OH I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT THE PEDOPHILIA LMFAO y’all know she casually had a pedophile oc but never fucking mentioned it??? yeah! i didn’t know either until i literally started to kin him. she went into ludwig’s obsessions and shit at length before but failed to ever mention he first met nicko when nicko was a LITERAL CHILD. LIKE, UH, HEY, THAT SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY IMPORTANT DETAIL FOR YOU TO ADD DON’T YOU THINK??? you go on for hours and hours about how skeevy this dude is but you fail to mention he’s a PEDOPHILE?? i only found out about this AFTER i got wildly attached to him and redeemed him without knowing and started to id with him. thanks! fucking disgusting

what next!! how about violence & aggression

u have any idea how much it sucks to get triggered into remembering being beaten by another ex of yours cus your gf goes into excrutiating detail about how she wishes she could kick someone’s ass? lmao. it’s not fun!!! and she IDOLISED that shit; she thought violence was fucking cool!! hello!!!!!

she hated one of my best friends, and when i asked why, she said it was because 1. they didn’t say hi to her sister in a stream and 2. they didn’t get involved with drama when people started comparing her to them. i tried SO hard to explain how all these things were misunderstandings, but she refused to listen. i drew parallels to things that had happened to myself, she said that she could see the similarities between herself and people who had hurt me, but refused to fix it, instead growing distant. real good lmao.

in fact she hated this person so much she refused to acknowledge them but NEVER TOLD ME THIS so i kept mentioning them as my friend and she would ignore me, to the point where she was ignoring art and shit i worked for weeks on. real nice way to support your girlfriend! putting your grudges before her. fuckssake

and that isn’t even touching on how she just. Treats People. people like me! and the reasons i’m fucking angry. i’m too fucking Exhausted to go into all the shit she did to me and how horribly she treated me and i’m already crying and my chest is tight i can’t fucking think too hard about it right now but i would LOVE to tell anyone who would like to know so :^)

GOD i’ve given myself a headache there’s more but i’m just Tired my dudes i’m fucking Tired

tl;dr

does sexual rps & gets sexually intimate with sister

thinks cheating, noncon, & pedophilia are excusable/not a big deal

violent & forcibly sexual

holds grudges & is just generally a negative and rude person

whatever i’m gonna regret posting this i’ll take it down before morning but fuckssake dude

but hey! hmu if anyone wants more info lmao i’m livid!!!!

EDIT: CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT THE ART THEFT i mentioned this once before but jam’s also an art thief :)

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#it would be neato if people who read this could let me know + i'd be happy to clarify anything :)

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