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#oh idk given her a personality??? made her likeable and made the audience want to root for her? like yall LMAO
halforcdad · 2 years
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serenading was really the last thing i ever wanted Kate to do as her grand gesture and i still don’t love it, but the amount of people who keep calling a big, awkward, public gesture hugely ooc for Kate and keep saying they miss the old whistler who wasn't dumb, oh DIA Whistler was so much better. its the show’s first season. i don’t think it’s even possible to be ooc when the writers are just starting to create these characters and we barely know them. we only saw ‘cool, confident, bossy dia whistler’ for about 6 episodes before 1x11 happened and changed everything, and while she’s still all of those things she was changing even before the breakup happened and with all the growth she’s gone through, she’s going to end the season looking pretty different to how she started (fair warning, this is a little unhinged and unorganized, just a little)
her arc has been about her learning to let people in and learning to be more honest with her feelings, to not be afraid of putting herself out there and learning how to stop pushing people away as a result of the impact Lucy and the team have had on her. it’s about making yourself vulnerable and trying to find people who will accept you even if you’re an awkward giraffe. throughout the season the writers have been telling us that she: finds it hard to be open and show her emotions, she puts her orders before her feelings at work causing everyone to view her as the ‘bad cop’ and that sucks, she really wants to make connections with her coworkers, but she doesn’t know how and she’s kinda bad at it, she was afraid of starting something with Lucy (and messing it up) because Lucy’s the most amazing woman she’s ever met and she wanted to keep it on the downlow until she felt she could handle it, is actually very charming and sensitive and goofy underneath that hardened exterior
there’s a reason Ernie describes her as “the tall one acting goofy,” she tries to keep her relationship with Lucy a secret and yet you can see her softening as a result of it and being unable to hide their connection and pull to each other even at work. Jesse notices they’re making googly eyes at each other during the Pearl Harbor tour in 1x09 and remarks that “there’s a certain DIA officer i haven’t seen around your desk recently,” because she couldn’t fight the gravitational pull drawing her to Lucy’s desk everyday, literally the worst kept secret at the office you morons! In 1x12 she’s sprinting after Lucy practically shouting after her (loud enough for all of Pearl Harbor to hear) even when she’s asking if Lucy’s going to throw their relationship away that easily. Kate gets a pass with Jane because how can you pretend you don’t care about Lucy after she could’ve died on an UC mission and as for Kai, well, he has two eyes so he definitely noticed too
the Whistler in 1x01 would definitely not be going over to Tennant’s house after 1x14 and sharing a drink with her (might not have warned her about Glenn Smith either) and maybe she wouldn’t have tried comforting her when Jesse went missing in 1x15 (not because she wouldn’t have wanted to, but maybe it would have been harder without all the stuff that happened in between as a result of the Lucy romance) and that’s growth baby!
as for her acting ‘dumb’ and goofy, whistler’s greatest hits (paraphrased):
1x07: the entire opening scene right in front of Ernie's coffee, like ladies its barely 9 in the morning 
1x09: “i want to be intimate” “here???” 
1x11: "i like this" "the coffee? its fair trade." "so i think i win the dumbass award." "yes...no! NO!"
1x14: “creds... that’s what all the cool agents say :)”
1x17: “the source of the attack was some sort of pineapple” “like the fruit?” (also forgetting she never apologized to Lucy)
1x20: while looking like a beaten bloody piñata “I’m fine just some bruises...and some minor head trauma...” “i did not have Lucy surf quotes on my bingo card today” 
1x21: “about the power of love!” -silence- “...anyway i think that’ll help us get through to David” (we were all raving about this scene and how cute it was, but we don't want to acknowledge all the work it took to get here?)
The writers have been showing it all season, this is just who she is the more you get to know her, not liking it is different than ooc
Kate just sucks at talking and processing her emotions on the spot and can’t always immediately formulate a response right away whether you’re her boss or her colleague or her ex girlfriend (she ghosted a girl for months for god’s sakes which is probably honestly where most of the ‘this feels ooc for Kate’ criticism comes from and it’s hard to blame anyone for that because wth Kate, but it also serves as the biggest indictment of how her lack of social skills has effected her life and now it’s finally catching up to her)
a lot of people call Whistler rushing in without thought or backup to be ooc, and while they’ve shown that she’s smart and good at thinking things through (figuring out a way to help the team in 1x06, with the Clark Lohan thing in 1x10, using David's wife’s fate as leverage to get through to him in 1x21), that’s been behind the scenes we never saw her do field work during her stint at the DIA so there’s nothing really to base the ooc claim on, the first time we see her in the field is in 1x17 (she only transferred to the FBI 3 episodes ago) when she rushes in and Lucy has to stop her so it’s not out of the ordinary for her to do something similar in 1x20 at Agent Jones’s house, Whistler in the office and Whistler out in the field are different because they’re different environments entirely (and she’s new to the field)
i dont think the people calling Whistler ooc for acting goofy and socially inept would call her ooc for turning down a promotion anywhere from 1x06-1x13 to stay close to Lucy after early Whistler was billed as ambitious and career-driven (but i guess it’s different because it’s romantic without being awkward...), if we’re going to throw that term out there we should examine all her actions that way not just the one’s we maybe don’t like 
you can criticize the writing and the show all you want we all have different opinions we’re not all going to agree on how good Whistler’s development has gone, but i don’t think it’s fair to say any public grand gesture or Kate acting ‘dumb’ is completely out of left field, yes she was more cold and distant and mean earlier (and maybe you preferred that way more) but as the show has progressed you get to see a different more shy, uncertain, dorky side of her and that's not ooc that's just how humans are
she’s been slowly stepping out of her comfort zone all season and Lucy’s influence on her has inspired her to finally make a running jump into the deep end to win her back because she loves her and that’s how much she means to her (my favorite post about the grand gesture written before we knew it was a singing gesture LOL) that's the whole point isn't it? the power of love! has changed Whistler! she's never felt this way about anyone before and is clearly woefully inexperienced in love, she misses Lucy and wants to win her back no matter what so she's willing to listen to anything and do anything to show her she's all in and wants to be with her and only her! love makes us do crazy things, but it makes sense after a season of pain and regret
unfortunately for some people, Kate also happens to be less competent socially so that’s going to manifest in truly awkward (and secondhand embarrassing) ways, but she’s always been capable of this because she’s a multifaceted character and the writers have been showing us that
#ncis hawaii#kate whistler#kacy#all the criticism and thoughts ive seen on tumblr has been cool and fine but the twitter folks just make my head explode#its like every time kate shows a not Cool trait shes ooc? theres a reason everyone calls her the dumbest smart person (affectionate)#shes got one braincell for work! whenever she uses it for her personal life or for following ernies advice is laughs at her and explodes#imma be real this is kinda petty and ranty bc of one specific kate stan on twitter i keep seeing firhrgjrg#like i cant even enjoy their fics bc they start all of them with 'i wont do u dirty like the writers have'#like wym the writers have treated me fine i loved 1x20 i loved all the kacy angst lol#like yas and tori are great and theyre 50% of it but who wrote the lines they say that make me love lucy and kate more and more everyday#also i dont think its possible at all for a character to be ooc...in season 1 like the writers barely know them yet how can i claim i do#like ok you like the character but then you hate the writers for half the traits theyve given them so do you actually like them???#this is all incoherent and im sorry#yes i still dislike the serenade but like i understand the point of the big gesture and why u would go there#get you a hot lesbian mess who can do both!#im delirious i probably shouldnt post this and ill regret it but i will anyway#like i saw someone ask what have they done to you whistler#oh idk given her a personality??? made her likeable and made the audience want to root for her? like yall LMAO
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dhiatzs · 4 years
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I wanted to post a drawing about Sorcerio and Odval but I went into a whole speech about them in the post and I didn’t want it to stay hidden so I guess that I’ll publish it first lmao
Please, if anyone meet me IRL one day, don’t get me started about Sorcerio and Odval because like their relationship and individual personalities and development gives me so much genuine fun and delight that I could go on about them for hours. Everytime I watch Disenchantment is for them both and Luci, among other reasons.
Not only are they unashamed gay/bi/pan (probably bi/pan I guess?) fellas living their best life in the castle, hiding things from the king about their unusual rituals while serving the crown,
Not only are they also very different and independent one from the other (Sorcerio is a comic relief, magician, lunatic, but also quite useful character and idk the whole season 1 episode 8 where it’s seriously implied that he literally made love with a griffon??? To help her with her specie?? How random and cool is that?? 
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I think he’s just literally my favorite character, with Luci. He’s at the peak of chaotic dumbass and I live for this dynamic) (while Odval is way more functional and knowing what he does, close to the king, the typical “oh no, not him” main character’s chaperone, but having hilarious lines and unexpected chill/funny times which make him even more likeable somehow?)
Like look at them??
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Odval "i can deal with shits" and Sorcerio "awkward gay panic wtf is going on how do I talk again" are literally my life 
(and also a good representation of my two braincells)
Not only do they have... kind of a potential of charadevelopment...? I mean, idk, what we saw from the end of Part II already sets up things to come about Odval, but it’s quite interesting to wonder what is going to happen to Sorcerio as well. Does Sorcerio even know the least about what Odval is up to? Did they talk about the whole taking-the-crown plan? Or is Odval acting in the biggest secret and whatever relationship he’s having with Sorcerio does not take a role in this? And I mean by that that Sorcerio wouldn’t know shit about what is going on inside Odval’s head.
And honestly? The second possibility is the most probable, given that Sorcerio doesn’t seem to care about taking power or the crown at all, while Odval is clearly ambitious. Sorcerio only cares about doing wizard stuff and his job, kinda, as far as I read him. Sure, it’s possible that Odval ruling the kingdom, Sorcerio could have a place and decide to betray the king as well, but he never seemed to participate in Odval’s dark plans. The time we see him join Odval in his cabinet? He’s panicking about not being a good wizard, about being a fraud. Sorcerio literally gives 0 shit about ruling the kingdom and I fucking love that.
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And all of this, the whole “Odval is acting by himself to take the crown and Sorcerio knows nothing about that” possibility, is feeling good, kinda? Because it means that whatever Odval is up to, he doesn’t use Sorcerio to get there. Their sex relationship, nevermind if it’s something they are committed into or not, is not something resting on manipulations or their mutual wish to take away the crown. It’s something they do for genuine feelings/needs and idk, I like the idea? That Odval wouldn’t need Sorcerio, neither use him, but still does his plans on one hand, and still got this relationship with him on the other hand. 
Not only their relationship isn’t only sex, like... they’re friends too, right? I mean, as friends as lovers, boyfriends, husbands or idk can be. Which means kind of besties. Sex friends, committed partner, polylovers, idk what relationship they precisely have one with the other but it looks like something healthy???? I’m saying that a lot lmao but Sorcerio and Odval and their ship/couple gives me oxygen.
Not only ALL of the above, but... they are old. They are not particularly attractive to all the audience, but they get to have this relationship, this feel-good, and this is the kind of relationship goals and happy life I need for characters who are not filling the attractiveness expectations. Because not young/not pretty people also deserve love and a sex life, and not only this “Up” soft romance where the both of the characters are living their domestic life, monogamous and heterosexual. Any kind of love and sex life.
This turned pretty damn quick into a “Sorcerio and Odval are the best” rant, but I have 0 regret lmao
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praphit · 4 years
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SM3: Nice Jerks are the Worst
I don't know about y'all, but I had big plans for 2020. Now, maybe those big plans will still happen, Idk. But, this was supposed to be our year! - that's what people say, right?? This was the year that you were going to go on that vacation. You were going to drop that dead beat spouse, leave that spouse with the kids, and run off to Mexico, right??!. You were going to start that business. Gain that weight. Come out of the closet. Finally tat that left butt cheek. You were going to stop doing hardcore drugs. Maybe this was going to be your year to start doing hardcore drugs. I'm not here to judge, only to ramble. 
But, 2020 quickly turned to shit. Now, we're all looking for someone to blame. Someone has to pay for our horrible haircuts or hairiness, our newfound hatred for our families, and for plenty of much more serious stuff.
I, personally, like to turn to movies for lessons about life. And I think I have the perfect movie to help us figure out who to blame - you guessed it "Spider-Man 3"
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This first attempt at a motion picture SM was doing so well. We loved Spidey (though some didn't care for Tobey Maguire, playing him). 
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Spidey and Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) are adorable. Then, this thing showed up and everything turned to shit (not unlike Covid-19).
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Let's look into what went wrong, and who is to blame.
First, let me say that I really liked the action in this movie. There are three villains in this movie: Venom (played by Topher Grace), that thing you see above. 
Green Goblin (played by James Franco), who is... a green goblin. 
And Sandman (played by Tommy Church), who has a body  that is now kinda made of sand - which seems silly if you pick it a part... though so does a man with the powers of a spider.
There was lots of action, and it was all shot well. There is one action scene where there is NO ONE around... I mean NO ONE. It's frickin NY. Peter Parker (not dressed as Spider-Man) and Green Goblin are causing all kinds of damage and making a lot of noise, and not ONE new yorker has anything to say about it? Unless you're a healthcare worker, I bet new yorkers are still cursing at each other from their homes. This was glaring, but Imma let it slide, cuz the action was good.
That's about all of the good I have to report:)
Quick plot recap:
1) MJ and Petey are on the rocks 2) James Franco is an asshole, trying to destroy Peter for killing his father (which he didn't) 3) Venom is trying to kill Spidey (what else is new??) 4) Venom, at one point, infects Peter Parker, to become "Black Spidey" - this, of course, is also when the people of the city started to hate him.
5) Oh, and Peter, mm! He's the worst. I've got something for him later.
There are two major reasons why people talk shit about this movie.
1st - Casting/Characters
Nobody is likeable in this movie
From the very first scene, MJ is singing to us, annnnd it's sooooo boring. I don't think it was supposed to be. Someone in the audience should have been booing. We can’t just allow entertainers to get comfortable, thinking that they can do whatever the hell that they want! - that’s how you end up with stuff like this 
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 It was like, if Snow White were to perform a number for a large crowd.
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Just Snow White - I ain't talking about no cute animals around or the suspense of menacing dwarves that might turn on Snow White at any moment. Not even a prince who might be gay (that’s the word on the streets). Just a long movie filled with songs from Snow White; that's what we're talking about. First, MJ bores me, then she's pathetically whining throughout the whole movie.
Sandman is cool (despite his love for striped shirts), but we don't really get to know him. 
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Side note: He gets his powers by accidentally getting trapped in a science experiment. The scientists, btw, ( And Lord knows what they were up to) knew that something could have been trapped in there, assumed it was a bird, and kept on going. See, this is why certain people don't trust y'all.
James Franco is James Franco (an asshole). Not worth a pic.
Venom doesn't really have a personality (and his host... well, he ain't no Tom Hardy)
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PLUS, Peter Parker is a dick (again, we'll get to that later).
The most likeable person in this film is JJ Jameson, and we're not really supposed to like him.
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A person with that look shouldn’t be your most likeable character.
Look at this stage - 
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Who is likeable up here? Fauci, maybe? But, betting by the amount of times that he puts his hands to his face, 
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- there are things he's not allowing himself to say, so though perhaps likeable, if we can fully trust him. And as far as Trump...  Even Trump supporters can't HONESTLY say that they LIKE the man (I mean, if he weren't the prez, would you honestly want him around? - your family?). They certainly can't say that they trust him - though I guess the amount of people looking into ingesting cleaning products after Trump mentioned something along those lines, would beg to differ.
This is the group we're looking to for direction?!
And this is also a problem in the movie. I have to be able to like SOMEBODY! 
I need to be able to trust someone to stop the cheesy-written shit storm that is this movie.
"Cheesy Shit Storm" - how bout that for a visual? :)
2nd - dance numbers!
I actually didn't mind the first one, when Peter is dancing through the streets.
Ha! Wow, he is going for it. Come get it while it’ s hot, ladies!
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It's odd, but it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be funny, and it kinda is. You ever dance a lil bit while you're out at a store? I know I do; especially now that we're wearing pandemic masks - no one knows who I am. NBD to dance a bit in public, but if you keep going passed a certain point, it just becomes annoying.
That's why the second dance number is bad. Plus, it doesn't make any sense.
At this point MJ and Peter have broken up. She's singing in a bar, and Peter interrupts her song with a dance number (while using his new girlfriend to poke at MJ). Now, While MJ’s songs of boredom deserve interruption, she didn’t deserve that.
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Venom is like a drug. Venom brings out the worst in a person. You're telling me that Peter Parker, with all of the rage built up from Uncle Ben and villains and his life not being all that great; the best or I should say "the worst" that he can do is Jazz hands? With all of his superpowers, he should be out there slaughtering everyone in sight. I mean, he did slap the shit out of MJ though (by "accident"). That's when he snapped out of the evil dance number. I don't know what kind of message that sends. 
"MJ, it wasn't until I slapped the holy hell out of you that I realized the error of my ways, so... thank you? I'm just going to go on about my day now."
I see this misguided scene as a metaphor. Peter Parker is dancing around his issues:
His relationship with MJ has been bad. He's on that stuff (Venom). And honestly, MJ knows that he's Spider-Man. Why couldn't he have just explained to her what was happening? 
"Sorry, baby. I got possessed by an alien again, you know how it is."
And he was dealing with the fact that the person who killed his uncle is on the loose. Another side note: MJ, even though they had just broken up, still cares for Peter while he's dealing with the news about Uncle Ben's killer. That's a damned good friend right there! - especially the way Peter had been acting towards her.
We've got to deal with stuff, people! We can't just get bad haircuts, wear weird clothes, and do drugs! Eventually, that will lead us to slapping the shit out of someone that we love. There are a lot of realities that we're prob not facing at the moment (and some we prob have no intentions of ever facing). A lot of things that we could have done to prevent certain things from escalating, but... we were busy doing our typical dance.
Peter was warned about Venom and did nothing about it. He told himself, "I got this", and clearly he didn't. Honestly, the whole city was screwing up by not helping Spider-Man at all. At the end, when the big fight is happening, and MJ is near death, everybody is just watching all of this go down. Where were the cops?! The S.W.A.T?! Other superheroes? New Yorkers themselves! - they're bold! But, to be fair, Venom came from outer space, so... it was a bit unprecedented; people were prob scared. I'll cut them and Spidey some slack.
You know who I won't cut any slack - Tobey Maguire's Peter Parker!
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Peter Parker is a jerk. I'm thinking that Tobey's Peter Parker has always been a jerk; a nice jerk, but a jerk. Have you ever met a nice jerk? They do all of the things that a regualr jerk does, but they'll rationalize their behavior, and look puzzled when you react to their awfulness. I didn't notice this in the 1st movie, cuz I was just happy to get Spider-Man. I didn't notice in the 2nd movie, cuz those kids were just too darn cute. But, his niceness was so annoying in this movie. And he treated MJ horribly : He never listens to her, he’s always late, he only talks about himself, he’s too damned nice, he never knows when they’re in a fight, he kisses other women right in front of her and then is like “What did I do?”
I kept wanting her to punch Peter out; he would have deserved it.
The foundation of the character of the 1st Spider-Man was a problem from the start! If the foundation is shaky, then - whew! I'm glad that we finally fixed it:)
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Plus, he never said he was sorry. He did one of those "Well, I'm not perfect." things. She ain't asking for perfection, just quit being a jerk!
A better movie would have been if MJ had been infected by Venom. For starters, she would have given a better performance, in the beginning. Something more like this - 
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She would have banged Peter's friends. She would have destroyed her critics. And most importantly, she wouldn't have taken any shit from Peter. That could have been the main plot. Instead of a convultued blend of three villains around the nice jerkiness of Peter, it would have been Spider-Man vs MJ - beatening each other up all throughout the city; though I guess that would be considered domestic violence. But, why dance around real issues out there! 
It could have been a family-friendly movie about drug abuse (Venom) and domestic violence... and possibly some make-up sex in the middle of the city. But, after that, one of them, if not both, are going to jail! We gotta deal with the problems, people!
Grade: an entertaining D+ 
I did enjoy it. It wasn't as bad as I remember it, and I'd prob watch it again. But, I can't deny that on a technical level, it's crap.
"Who’s to blame?" isn't really the question. It's more "Who deserves what percentage of the blame?" There's a lot of blame to go around here... even to us who enabled Peter's jerkiness in the first two movies.
I like the direction that we're going in now. 
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A better Spidey A better MJ Better villains
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And even a better Aunt May 
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- looking all good with Tony Stark.
- imagine Tony aggressively flirting with the older one
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       okay so let’s write a novel talk about actual trainwreck of a character Jack Sparrow in this movie. so there are spoilers under this so don’t read if YOU DON’T WANNA BE SPOILED because I’ve been waiting months to write this and now I finally can:
      the scene that annoyed me the MOST was when Barbossa and Jack release the Pearl back into her true form, and this was a theme throughout the movie. long story short, they get it out of the bottle and they throw the model-size Black Pearl into the ocean and she sinks briefly before rising up into her full majesty and JACK DIDN’T EVEN LOOK REMOTELY BOTHERED WHEN SHE SANK. and this was my problem -- particularly in the second half of the film -- that when it was required of Jack to show emotion, he didn’t. he was actually fine during the first half and showed some decent emotional range, but something really weird happened around the half-way point and honestly, when the Pearl briefly sunk, Hector looked more bereft than Jack did, which makes absolutely no sense. both of them should have been saddened, but Jack has literally fucking died for that ship twice, so he should have been heartbroken -- particularly when it was established early in the movie that Jack was keeping the Pearl on his person, under his coat, above his heart. idk whether it was the editing or the take they eventually used in post-production, but it was seriously odd. and likewise, Jack gives two reactions to Hector’s death, but imo there’s not nearly enough emotion in them for the audience to believe that these two individuals have known each other for half of their lives. it seemed very half-assed, which is basically this entire movie in summary, but something honestly really bothered me about Jack’s characterisation in the second half in particular and I still can’t quite put my finger on it, but he seemed very disinterested in what was going on. the first half was lazy writing, but I kind of want to say that the second half was lazy writing and lazy acting.
        also, let’s talk about the fact that Jack was so stupid he didn’t even realise that you’d need to put the Pearl back into the water for her to grow in size. Hector seriously showed most of the smarts out of the two of them in this movie. the fact that Jack at one point admits he’s a bed wetter, says ‘spaghetti wolves’ when he’s woken up from a drunken stupor, and asks for 200-odd barrels of rum from Barbossa along with the chance to eat Jack the Monkey tells you the kind of infantile stupid Jack was being in this movie.
      now this is the thing with Jack in DMTNT -- I could ultimately see what they were trying to do, and it kind of worked in the first half, but it was so poorly executed because ultimately they created a contradiction for themselves. the directors and Johnny have stated on multiple occasions that Jack is now apparently a character without arc or development, and yet they put him into a narrative where he is supposed to change in some way between the start and end point. I said this before when I remarked last week that it was ironic he had an ‘arc’ in this movie considering those comments: he’s meant to get somewhere, regain his rep, return to a ( mostly ) sober state -- but they kept stagnating him in the narrative because he is this weird arc-less character at this point. it just didn’t make any fucking sense. if you’re going to put a static character into a narrative ( as Jack apparently is nowadays ), then you don’t put him in it at a relative low point, changed from the last time we saw him as an audience and apt to change/develop along the course of the narrative as he ‘redeems’ himself. you’re just writing yourself into a brick wall. he should have been FINE the moment the Black Pearl was restored, but they kept returning him to this earlier drunken, idiotic state without reason even after that point and it just made the whole thing really sloppy. you want to paint Jack at his lowest point? well by doing so, you’re giving the audience a stake in seeing Jack redeem himself and return to the character we know and love -- and yet there was no obvious sign that had happened, no natural development that saw him slowly but steadily getting his groove back and taking control of his own narrative until the very end, when suddenly he was absolutely fine even though he’d been fighting plot convenient alcoholism for the entire movie. 
      but, let’s be honest~
      he was essentially inconsequential to this plot, save from the beginning when he acts as the catalyst for Salazar’s escape. he wasn’t very active whatsoever, nor was he really ever in control, save for when he takes Henry and Carina hostage, and even then the scene where Jack threatens Carina, Jack doesn’t appear very threatening -- mostly incompetent, and this is a theme. normally, Jack is always in control of his own actions, and he hates it when he’s not -- it’s a hallmark quality of his character because he values his personal freedom above all else. here he kinda gets passed around from character to character -- more as a burden, than anything, and boy was he a burden on this narrative. in the second half in particular, he was just sort of there, making the odd joke every now and again, with Carina as the biggest drive in this narrative. she continually pushed the plot forward, more so than Henry, but another problem this movie suffered from was pacing. at no point did the editing seem to take a breather or focus on the characters -- either the characters were making jokes, or they were making clunky expositional statements that was more of a ‘say what you see’ and ‘repeatedly say what we have to do to resolve the plot’ kind of thing rather than the ‘show not tell’ rule. 
      Henry and Carina could have been developed more, as could have Carina and Barbossa -- I think some of Jack’s strongest scenes were actually with Carina, surprisingly enough, because at least they seemed to have a bit of banter back and forth, and the Jack and Henry stuff was kinda decent. but the characters didn’t feel like characters -- not the ones I know and love anyway. I think Hector was the best character out of the originals ( Geoffrey did great with what he had to work with ), and Salazar was pretty good on the whole, but Javier could have been given more to work with -- and with Jack acting like a five year old whenever the two got close to each other, it didn’t really work.
      stuff that did work though in regards to Jack imo: his entrance was pretty good and true to form across the franchise, and the bank robbery scene was fun and felt like potc ( I especially liked the look Gibbs stole at Jack when they were approaching the bridge. AND THERE WAS ANOTHER MOMENT WHEN GIBBS SAVED JACK’S LIFE THAT I LIKED A LOT ). Jack asking his crew for tribute when he’d lost the money was utterly stupid ( that’s not how pirate ships work and honestly several times across this movie I think Jack deserved to be left behind/abandoned because he was acting like a complete fucking needy idiot ), but I think the most emotion he showed in the movie was in that scene when his crew left him -- it fucking KILLED me tbh because HE LOOKS AT GIBBS LAST AND GIBBS JUST GIVES HIM THIS MOST SYMPATHETIC LOOK AND MY HEART STILL HURTS. most of the stuff on Saint Martin for Jack was pretty decent because he felt like Jack -- the problems came once he got out to sea and every so often he’d just regress into a whiny infant for no reason at all. the sleazy stuff kinda annoyed me -- I could have done without the Carina scene on the boat or his continued insistence on ‘horologist,’ and his description of Elizabeth was Unnecessary. but mainly he was just annoying.
      the problem is, he showed absolutely no smarts in this movie, save for the flashback. he had to constantly be saved by others, lucked his way out of most situations -- and the shark scene was Okay because he showed that he could and was willing to save Henry multiple times, but he just wasn’t very proactive at all in this narrative. he was just there, waiting for stuff to happen to him. he saved Carina once which was good, and there were moments when it looked like he was playing the mentor figure to both Henry and Carina, particularly when he was the one to keep bringing up their crushes on each other, but it didn’t really go anywhere. the script had robbed him of all of his wit and charm, which is what made him likeable in the first three movies.
      as for the flashback scene -- I didn’t hate it, even though I wanted to. I could have done without the whole part where the crew gave Jack famous pieces of his costume because a) that’s dumb and TPOF handles his costume better and b) it contradicts everything Johnny has said about picking up pieces of his costume on his adventures over the years. the CGI was pretty good, and I loved them showing Jack as this intelligent and dangerous pirate who traps Salazar without remorse because he needed to put an end to his reign of terror over the seas. I also could have done without it being the Wicked Wench but eh I’m just over it at this point. the point at which it came in the story was pretty random though -- like I understand it was Salazar’s monologue but it just seemed inserted for the sake of ‘ah yes time to show off our CGI technology.’ they could have used it to better showcase how far Jack had fallen since then tbh.
       oh and one last shoutout - ‘Captain Jack Sparrow is dead. buried in an unmarked grave on Saint Martin’ I LOVE. and the scene when Jack walks into the pub and his wanted poster has been changed so his bounty is only £1 as opposed to £100. the visual gag of that worked really well. as did the whole guillotine sequence. that was one of the strongest scenes in the movie tbh. 'you’re to be executed’ ‘executed?!?!! well I’m never coming back here again’ he was drunk af but the pettiness worked in that scene lmfaoo
       OH AND NOT PUTTING JACK IN A SCENE WITH WILL AND ELIZABETH IS STUPID AF
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