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stayteezdreams · 6 months

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No More Waiting

Plot: While attending a Halloween party, Minghao seems to be on a mission, and it revolves around you.

Pairing: Xu Minghao x Gn!Reader

Prompts/Request: 'Wearing the same costume to a costume party' + "Did you match with my costume on purpose?" + “Trick or treat!?” “…Depends on if you’re the treat or not.” & "If your get scared you can hold onto me." "Oh you'd love that wouldn't you?" "Very much."

Requested By: @brattybunfornct

Warnings: Brief mentions of alcohol

Words: 2.6k

A/n: This is the final release of my 13 Days of Halloween (masterlist here). Thank you all for the feedback, reblogs, likes, etc!! <3 You'd think the final Halloween post would be more Halloween focused, but it's not lol.

Minghao checked over his costume in the mirror once more as he let out a deep breath. While the others paced around, making sure enough drinks were prepared, and Mingyu yelled at Hoshi for not buying enough food, Minghao had something much different to worry about.

All week he had been planning. Planning how to act around you, planning what to say, planning what to wear. And it was all taking place tonight. He knew it could all go wrong. Things might not work the way he wanted, but he didn't care, as long as it ended the way he wanted.

With a confession. Hopefully a reciprocated one at that.

Minghao knew he liked you, hell, he might even be in love with you, but what he didn't know, was how to tell you. He tried flirting, but it never came across as genuine. Your friendship was based in part a friendly and teasing relationship. So of course you never really knew if what he was saying was genuine.

He thought he would be okay with it, trying to believe that it would all happen naturally. And it seemed that it was heading that way. Until he showed up.

Ji-Yoo. A sibling of a friend who moved to the city. Minghao had no problem with Ji-Yoo, up until he started to flirt with you, and you took notice. After that, to Minghao, he was an enemy.

This was the catalyst that finally encouraged Minghao to properly confess to you. So, he made the plan.

Step One, steal your costume idea.

You had told him all about what you were going to dress up as. Minghao chuckled as you told him of your Tim Burton inspired outfit and makeup, all the while he made sure to buy everything he needed to match with you. That way, you would appear as a couple at the party.

Step two, keep Ji-Yoo away from you.

Make sure Ji-Yoo had no opportunity to try and win you over or sway you. Be a nuisance around him, so he cannot stand being around the two of you.

Step three, flirt.

Flirt in ways you weren't used to. Flirt in front of people you know and don't know. Especially in front of Ji-Yoo.

Step four, confess.

He didn't know exactly when he was going to confess. He hoped to get you alone at some point in the night, but he realized that might prove difficult.

He had to admit, it wasn't the most detailed plan, but it was a start. His chest was tight as he let out a few deep breaths as a few people showed up for the party. Minghao kept watch at the door, intending to answer when you arrived.

When he caught sight of your fully skelefied costume through the window, he grinned as he walked to the door, waiting for you to knock.

As he pulled the door open, your familiar voice called out, making Minghao grin.

"Trick or Treat!?"

Minghao eyed you up and down as he smirked “…Depends on if you’re the treat or not.”

You rolled your eyes softly, "You wish."

'I do.' He thought to himself as he smirked, as he saw you look over his costume, realization crossing your features.

You stepped up to him, "Wha-"

He rose his brow, feigning innocence. "What?"

"Did you match my costume on purpose?" You accused.

Grabbing your wrist, he gently lead you inside as you gawked at him.

"Seriously Minghao! You knew this was my costume, now it's gonna look like we're wearing a couples costume!"

He smiled at you and you felt your stomach swirl. "What's so wrong with that?"

You were a bit stunned, and you thought you saw something beneath the teasing gaze, something more genuine. Before you could respond, you heard your voice called by an excited and already buzzed Hoshi.

He grabbed your wrist and started rambling about how Mingyu was angry at him, before he pulled you off towards the kitchen. Minghao tried to grab your hand to pull you away, but Hoshi won as you disappeared into the kitchen.

Minghao let out a frustrated groan. Apparently he should have added 'keep everyone away from you' to his plan.

You ended up mingling with the others in the kitchen for a while, but your thoughts continued to stray to Minghao. Something about the way he looked at you, and the way he was acting was different than normal.

When he came into the kitchen a few minutes after you did, he seemed to glare at the others who held your attention. A few times it seemed as though he was tying to get your attention, or steal you away from the others, but he failed, and he only seemed to grow more annoyed each time.

The thoughts of why he might be acting like this made you nervous.

You had realized quite a while ago, that your feelings for Minghao had changed. You didn't just look at him as a friend, or even your best-friend, he was Minghao, the man who made your heart flutter. The man who made you feel safe and loved. The man who unabashedly and unknowingly held your heart in his hands.

But you had no doubt in your mind that he did not feel the same. It hurt, but you accepted it. And you tried to move on from it. But now you weren't so sure if you should have moved on at all.

At some point, the kitchen became so crowded, you made your way out and into the living room. You hadn't gotten far when you were approached by someone in a werewolf mask. When removed, you were met with Ji-Yoo's beaming smile.

You smiled and greeted him, aware that you were now going to be bombarded with flirtatious comments that you would have to not so skillfully play-off.

Ji-Yoo was sweet and attractive, and would be what you would consider your type a few years ago. But now, no one was good enough. Because none of them were Minghao.

When Minghao noticed you had vanished from the kitchen, he quickly made his way to find you. He had lost more time than he wanted, he needed to make up for it.

When he did spot you in the living room, he smiled naturally at the sight of you, before he noticed who it was who had your attention.

He flared his nostrils with an annoyed sigh as he made his way towards the two of you. When he heard your giggle meet his ears, he felt jealousy rise in his chest.

Minghao not-so-subtly inserted himself into your conversation as he slid in beside you, his shoulder pressing against you as he grinned at you, announcing his presence.

Ji-Yoo's smile faltered as he appeared, and Minghao simply smiled at him, smacking his shoulder and giving him an disingenuous greeting.

He saw Ji-Yoo look down at your matching costumes and smirked proudly.

You did not fail to notice Minghao's sudden brazen behavior, or the fake smile plastered on his face. You knew it well enough to spot a mile away.

You were shocked to see him acting this way towards someone you thought he considered a friend. You couldn't help but wonder if maybe he was jealous. But you tried not to linger on the thought too long. You didn't want to over-think yourself into a false sense of confidence, only to be brokenhearted later.

It didn't take long before you were unable to take any more of Ji-Yoo and Minghao's weird behavior. They eyed each other as if enemies and seemed to try and one up each other in every conversation. They spoke as if they were friends, but the passive aggression and sarcasm made the air around you thick with tension.

To say it got annoying was an understatement. You didn't know what their problem with each other was, but you had figured Minghao didn't want you to be friends with him for whatever reason.

Spotting another friend of yours, you decided to exit the conversation, much to Minghao and Ji-Yoo's surprise and disappointment.

You managed to avoid both Minghao and Ji-Yoo for the rest of the party as you did not want to get caught in the middle of their problems again. Even though -unbeknownst to you at this moment- you were the problem.

Relief filled you when you saw Ji-Yoo leave the party. Now it was just you and the boys, lingering in the now-emptied, yet trashed house.

Minghao noticed you from across the room when you entered and you saw relief wash over his face.

As he approached you, he smiled, "I thought you had left."

You shook your head, "I was gonna help clean up."

Hoshi groaned from the couch, "I'm too hungry to clean."

"Well you wouldn't be hungry if you had brought food to the party like you were supposed to!" Seungcheol's voice called from the kitchen and you chucked.

Hoshi hissed under his breath before he responded. "I did bring food!"

"You brought three bags of chips and some beer!" Mingyu yelled back and Hoshi pouted.

You chuckled at them before you realized you were hungry yourself. "I'm up for a store run if you want Hoshi."

He looked over at you with bright happy eyes and you knew his answer.

"I'll come!" Minghao glared over at Jun and Joshua, who spoke at the same time as him.

Minghao had failed his mission to spend the party with you. He let his annoyance at Ji-Yoo chase you away, and he knew he messed up. He noticed you avoiding Ji-Yoo and felt ecstatic about it. Up until he realized you were avoiding him too.

He messed it all up and he knew it. He was hoping a walk with you would help, but now, as he walked beside you, the loud voices of Jun, Joshua, Jeonghan, Dino and Mingyu echoed down the street as you all made your way to the store.

The silence that had been lingering between you and Minghao was broken when a loud crash in the dark street nearby made you gasp and flinch.

Minghao laughed at your reaction, ignoring the fact that his own heart jolted in surprise.

You glared over at him playfully before chuckling.

As the others had gotten quite a ways ahead of you, Minghao thought that now might be his opportunity. He watched you as you eyed the dark streets around you, now on edge.

Minghao gasped in your ear and you yelped in surprise, making him laugh.

"Minghao!" You yelled as you smacked his shoulder, only making him laugh more. "Don't do that to me!" You tried to sound angry, but you couldn't help the laugh that escaped you.

A loud yell from someone nearby caught you by surprise, making you jump again. You ran to the other side of Minghao, who laughed at your expense.

You smacked his arm again. "Stop!" You whined.

"If you're scared you can hold onto me." He said with a smirk and you huffed.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Very much."

The way his eyes seemed to stare into you without his familiar teasing smirk, made your heart flutter.

He let out a soft laugh as he suddenly pulled you into his chest, hugging you and pressing a kiss to your head.

"You're cute when you're flustered."

You were left in stunned silence for a moment before you finally found your voice again. "Why are you acting so differently?"

Minghao pulled away from you, looking down at you with a soft gaze.

So you did notice.

"What do you mean?

You shrugged your head softly. "I don't know, you're just being..." You let out a soft sigh of frustration. "I don't know how to explain it."

He smiled widely at you and you pointed at him.

"See! That right there!"

He widened his eyes a bit as he let out a bewildered laugh. "What?!"

"The way you're looking at me it's- it's different. You're doing it on purpose I know it! Why?"

His smile softened as he moved his hands to take yours. He gently caressed your fingers as he stared at your hands. You felt your heartbeat racing as he took a step closer.

"I figured I needed to be more obvious for you to finally realize."

"Realize what?"

His eyes rose to your face and you saw him study your face for a moment. He took in your features, including your lips, which you did not fail to notice.

"How much I care about you. Not just as a friend."

"Wha-"

Your words were cut off as Minghao pulled you towards him suddenly. You froze as his lips met yours. His hands gently rose up your hands, to your arms and then shoulders as he kissed you softly. Just as you started to sink into the kiss, he pulled away.

You blinked a few times as he opened his own eyes, staring gently at you with a soft smile.

"You kissed me." You mumbled in surprise.

He smiled. "I kissed you."

He reached up and gently stroked your cheek.

"And I want to do it again, a thousand times. Honestly I've wanted to for ages. I think- no, I know that I've had feelings for you for a long time. And I couldn't hold back anymore, especially when I thought I might lose you."

Realization suddenly washed over you and your mind flashed back to earlier at the party.

"Is this why you and Ji-Yoo were so tense around each other earlier?" You suddenly asked and Minghao let out a soft laugh as he nodded his head.

"Yes. I'm sorry it got so tense, I just hated the idea of him stealing you away from me."

He looked down at his feet and you smiled softly.

"No one could do that Minghao."

His eyes shot up to meet yours, and you let out a soft laugh. "Why do you think I haven't even attempted to date anyone in the last few years?"

Minghao felt hope rising in his chest and he furrowed his brow in hopefully confusion.

You smiled bashfully. "Because I only ever wanted you."

Minghao stepped closer and pressed his forehead against yours as he grinned."Not Ji-Yoo?"

You chuckled and shook your head, "No, not Ji-Yoo, just you."

"Good."

He grinned as he kissed you again, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you close to him. This time, instead of freezing, you returned the kiss, as your chest burned hot and butterflies turned into fireworks.

Neither of you were aware of the approaching group, who you had forgotten about, until you heard a familiar voices gasp out dramatically.

"They're kissing!!" Joshua yelled.

You broke apart as you looked over at the dramatically surprising, yet grinning faces of your friends who started to grab at each other and gasp.

You laughed as Minghao rolled his eyes, gesturing at them to go away.

"And here we thought one of you got hurt or something!" Jun yelled with a fake disgust on his face as he pulled at Jeonghan who had his eyes covered.

They started to head back towards the store, throwing various comments at the two of you as they disappeared.

The last voice you heard was Mingyu's, "Took you long enough Minghao!"

Minghao yelled out into the darkness after them, "Shut up!"

You laughed as he shook his head with annoyance before he pulled you to his chest, staring into your eyes as your noses bushed.

"It did take me way too long." He admitted softly.

You shook your head, "I thought I had convinced myself to move on, thinking you would never feel the same way for me, but honestly I think I could have waited forever."

He grinned before he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. "No more waiting."

You shook your head with a soft smile, as you repeated his words as joy filled both of you.

"No more waiting."

xx End xx

I got writers block like four times while trying to write this, so I'm sorry if it's not the best :/ I really wanted it to come out better.

But, that being said. This was the final part to my 13 Days of Halloween, and I hope you all enjoyed it!

General Taglist: @otsilliak, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669

Minghao Taglist: @lieutenantn

#Xu Minghao/reader #xu minghao x reader #the8 x reader #the8/reader #minghao x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen/reader #minghao imagine #the8 imagine #the8 fic #minghao fic #seventeen fanfic #13 Days of Halloween #seventeen halloween #minghao halloween #the8 halloween #the8 fluff #stayteezdreams 13 days of halloween #minghao fluff

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raccoonbatz · 7 months

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What happens in Paris // Tao Xu x F!Reader [ PART 1 ]

A/N: Welcome to my first non- oneshot! I just finished heartstopper season 2 and my unhealthy obsession with Tao came back and I became inspired by writing for this man, so much that I decides to make a multiple parts story this time! :) Keep in mind that english isn't my first language so sorry if some things are written wrong.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Summary: Your typical enemies to lovers w/ kinda slowburn story!

Important: Elle and Tao are just best friends in this story. As much as I ship these two I just had to write this with y/n :) oh and it takes place in season 2, after the exams.

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Soo, you're excited for Paris?" Nick asked while softly bumping your shoulder as you walk towards the party.

"Yea! Very excited to be with my best friends in a country I've never been to." You said excited.

"Reminder, I am not your best friend." Someone said behind you. You turned your head and met with Tao's eyes.

"I didn't actually include you." You said and he scoffed. You rolled your eyes and turned back to Nick who chuckled a bit.

"I don't really get why you guys don't just get along-" Charlie said.

"Because she is annoying-" Tao said but you quickly interrupted him.

"Says the one who always has to intervene." You said.

"I don't do that-" He said.

"You literaly just did-" You said confused.

"Yea, you kinda do-" Elle added and he scoffed.

"Now she's turning you too?" He said playfully to Elle and she chuckled.

"Not turning, just stating facts." She says and you chuckled. Tao playfully rolled his eyes

You guys arrived at the woods party, where everyone was already dancing, drinking and partying. Elle waved to some of her new friends and walked towards them. Isaac was getting a drink with James and Nick and Charlie were heading somewhere deeper in the woods together which left u with Darcy, Tara and Tao.

"Let's get something to drink" Darcy said and u nodded.

"I swear Darcy if u get too drunk again-" Tara said and u chuckled.

"What are you talking about-" Darcy said and Tao snickered.

"That's what we're talking about, you don't even remember." Tao said

"Yea I mean, we love to babysit you the whole night don't get us wrong but-" You said but Tao interupted you

"Did you just agree with me?" He said with a smirk on his face.

"Tao, I swear if u don't get that stupid smirk off your face-" You said trying to intimidate him which was quite hard since he was alot taller than you.

"Then what?" He said, still smirking. Darcy and Tara looked at each other and sneaky blended with the crowd to get away.

"Then you'll-" You said but took a quick look around to see that you guys were abandoned. Tao looked around and realized the same.

"Those fuckers-" You said and Tao chuckled.

"They don't wanna be seen with you either." He said and you rolled your eyes.

"Then what are you still doing here hmm?" You said and crossed your arms.

"That is-" He says and paused for a bit. "A really good question" He added and thought for a bit.

"Goodbye!" He says and started to walk away. You sighed and turned around, walking in the direction you thought Darcy and Tara went in.

You walked towards the place where you could get a drink and grabbed a red cup and poured something to drink in it. U took a sip and quickly realized it wasn’t just soda.

“Ah, there you are!” You heard behind you and turned around.

“Ah, hey Tara!” You smiled but your smile quickly faded away remembering that they left you.

“Why in gods name did u guys leave me with that asshole?” You asked and they chuckled

“We know you like him-“ Darcy said and u spit out your sip that you were taking

“You guys are batshit crazy-“ You said and chuckled.

“Everyone knows” Tara added and u laughed

“The fact that u guys can’t feel the tension is insane!” Darcy said and you rolled your eyes.

“I don’t know which tension you’re talking about. The only tension I feel when talking to him is an angry one.” You said and took a big sip of your cup.

Darcy and Tara gave each-other a look while you looked at them confused.

“Is there something I don’t know?” You asked and they snickered.

“No- no no nothing to worry about-“ Tara said and u sighed.

“Nevermind then- Where is everyone?” You asked

“We have no clue-“ Darcy said.

The party went on for a bit. Charlie and Nick went home early because Nick wasn’t feeling well. Darcy and Tara also already left and Elle and Isaac were nowhere to be found. When you grabbed your headphones to listen so some music for the long walk home, u felt a tap on your shoulder.

“Ur still here?” Tao asked confused.

“Yea, I was about to walk home.” You said and wanted to turn around, but Tao stopped you again.

“You’re walking alone? Now?” He said and looked genuinely confused.

“Uh, yeah? Do you see anybody else with me right now?” You said and chuckled. Tao stood still for a second.

Then he hesitated for a second to say something.

“Spit it out dude.” You said.

“I know we don’t get along, but I also don’t want you to walk alone to your house.” He said and looked.. concerned?

“Uh-“ You were taken a bit back. He never said something nice to you.

“You want to walk me home?” You said confused.

“No- I don’t want to-“ He says and pauses for a bit. “But I would probably get killed by the rest if they knew I let you walk alone.” He added and chuckled a bit.

“Fair.” You said and softly smiled.

“Fine, we can walk together but-“ You said and paused

“But what?” He asked

“I want to listen to my music tho.” You said as you placed your headphones on your head.

“Perfect for me!” He says and takes out his earbuds and places them into his ears.

As you guys were walking home you caught yourself looking at Tao sometimes.

You never really noticed how cute he is.

#tao xu x reader #heartstopper #heartstopper x reader #Nick nelson #Charlie spring #elle argent #tara jones #darcy olsson #isaac henderson #tao xu

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hunxi-after-hours · 1 year

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Hi hunxi! In your post the other day about The Way Spring Arrives, you said in the tags that you’d put it on a list of required reading for people interested in danmei. I’m curious, is there anything else you’d recommend for people who want to learn more about the culture/context surrounding danmei? Thanks!!

oh goodness, I suppose I did say that somewhat flippantly but I do want to take a moment and reiterate that I am not qualified in the slightest to make a list of required reading, nor do I think that required reading is a thing that should necessarily exist, since we should all read whatever we'd like in our own free time; there is no moral directive on what someone should or should not read, we're all just here to have a good time!!

but! for those so inclined, I... don't think I have so much a reading list as a series of reading thought exercises?

first of all, some academic articles that I found deeply worthwhile:

Jin Feng's 2009 paper: “Addicted to Beauty: Consuming and Producing Web-based Chinese ‘Danmei’ Fiction at Jinjiang”

Tian Xiaofei's 2015 paper: “Slashing Three Kingdoms: A Case Study in Fan Production on the Chinese Web.”

Xi Tian's 2020 paper: “Homosexualizing Boys Love in China: Reflexivity, Genre Transformation, and Cultural Interaction”

Xi Tian's 2021 paper: “More than Conformity or Resistance: Chinese “Boys’ Love” Fandom in the Age of Internet Censorship”

Yang Ling & Xu Yanrui's 2017 paper: “The love that dare not speak its name: The fate of Chinese danmei communities in the 2014 anti-porn campaign”

Yang Ling & Xu Yanrui's 2013 paper, “Forbidden love: incest, generational conflict, and the erotics of power in Chinese BL fiction”

The Way Spring Arrives and Other Stories ed. Yu Chen and Regina Kanyu Wang. I've already gushed about this elsewhere, so I shall leave this be for now

this is by no means a comprehensive list, merely the ones that have really stuck with me for various reasons. I compile a table of contents of my research booklets here, and @dulharpa has been kind enough to share their immense resources here

I'd like to stop short of compiling a list of danmei novels for people to read because folks have different genre and narrative tastes than I do. instead, I think what might be more interesting and customizable would be a kind of reading challenge, paired with thought exercises:

read works by three (or more!) danmei authors

what recurring themes, character traits, narrative tropes, or cultural aspects to you observe across works by different authors? what differences do you notice? do you think these similarities/differences are hallmarks of the genre, coincidental stylistic choices, authorial interests, or wider cultural trends? how do different authors address certain issues, or avoid them altogether? how do these choices affect the content and style of the text, as well as your perception of and/or response to these texts?

read two different danmei novels by the same author (if you can wrangle it, try to read novels in different genres)

what recurring themes, character traits, narrative tropes, or thematic commonalities do you observe across an author’s works? how do the different narrative or genre contexts of each novel affect characters and themes in each work? do you observe changes in an author’s perspective, views, or opinions on common themes and/or social issues from novel to novel?

read a danmei novel that is not wuxia, xianxia, or xuanhuan

how do aspects of worldbuilding differ across genres? what new aspects of culture, character, or language do you observe in a different genre setting? how much character or worldbuilding do you think is attributable to genre convention, and how much isn’t? what do you think readers find attractive about wuxia/xianxia/xuanhuan settings? what do you think readers find attractive about other genres?

read a danmei novel set in modern day China

how do the emotional and narrative stakes of novels change depending on time period? what were you surprised by? what similarities or resonances did you recognize between the text and your own life? how does the fabric of the setting in this novel differ from novels set in other time periods and settings? in what ways do class and power factor into character conflicts and relationships? how do these differ from the way class and power are addressed in historical novels? what is the role of tradition and history in this novel? do you find the text more realistic because it’s set in modern day? why or why not? how important do you think “realism” is to the text and the readers? why might this be? how important is “realism” to your reading experience? why might this be?

read a webnovel that was not serialized on JJWXC

there are many other Chinese internet literature platforms, such as 长佩文学 and 奇点文学网. explore one (or more!) of these literature platforms and note any observations about differences, similarities, or things you’re surprised by. how does this inform your understanding of the larger scope of Chinese web literature? in what ways are literature and genre organized differently from what you’re familiar with? compare and contrast your experience reading a non-JJWXC novel with a JJWXC novel. what was the same? what was different? do you think these similarities/differences are influenced by the different audiences of these websites or larger societal trends in media and culture, or something else entirely?

read a webnovel by a danmei author that is not danmei (i.e. 言情 / heterosexual romance, 无CP / no romance)

what similarities do you observe between this novel and a danmei novel written by the same author? what differences do you observe? how do narrative reflections of gender and character dynamics differ? what other themes, issues, or narrative aspects do you notice coming to the forefront when the focus has shifted away from male/male romance? what were you surprised by? what weren’t you surprised by? has your perception of the author’s views on gender/gender dynamics changed? if so, how? if not, why do you think this is?

read a danmei novel with 2+ adaptations into other forms of media (e.g. audiodrama, donghua, manhua, live action)

what do you think about this novel generates wider media attention and interest? how do the characters and narrative change from text to adaptation? why do you think this happened? how did the popularization via adaptation affect the original text, if at all? how did you come to discover this text, and how many platforms did it have to jump to get to you? why do you think this text received attention on the platform you first heard of it? in what ways beyond the content of the text itself did this novel draw wider attention?

read a danmei novel with no adaptations in other forms of media

why do you think this novel hasn’t been chosen for adaptation yet? in what ways would this novel be challenging to adapt? what medium do you think this novel would be best suited for? how would an adaptation of this novel change your perspective and experience of this text? what would you hope to see in an adaptation of this novel?

read a traditionally published work of Chinese speculative fiction

how does a traditionally published work of Chinese fiction differ stylistically and narratively from the web literature you’ve read? what does the wider field of Chinese speculative fiction look like? how do the imaginations and concerns of Chinese authors manifest in their worldbuilding, setting, characters, themes, and conflicts? how do subgenres of Chinese speculative fiction resemble and differ from genres you’re more familiar with? what did you like about this work? what puts you off about this work? did this work raise any questions or themes that you haven’t thought about before? what aspects of the novel seem rooted in contemporary Chinese society, and which themes seem more universal? if reading in translation, did you identify any moments where context was lost between languages? were there footnotes in the translation, and if so, how did they affect your reading experience? if not, did you ever wish there were footnotes? what kind of additional context did you wish you had? how do you think the translation influenced your reading experience? how high-profile is this work of Chinese speculative fiction, and why do you think this is?

read a novel written by a Chinese diaspora author

how do characters, themes, settings, and worldbuilding differ from the perspective of a diaspora writer? what aspects feel the same? how does translation on linguistic, cultural, or metafictional levels factor into the text? what is the role of tradition and reception in the narrative? what other influences can you spot in the text? what Chinese work would you put this text in conversation with, and why? how are different cultures portrayed in diaspora works vs. non-diaspora works? based on this text, have cultural values shifted in diasporic reception? what is the relationship presented in the text between identity and nationhood, tradition and ownership?

okay I had way too much fun coming up with those discussion questions, but I genuinely do think that these are interesting thought and reading experiments to pursue! I think there’s a lot you can learn about danmei, internet literature, and the wider cultural context of these phenomena simply by taking some time to sit back and reflect on these texts, or observing Chinese fandom interactions (there can of course be a language barrier in doing so, but I’ve learned so much from 弹幕 culture and I heartily encourage other people to do so).

and seriously, if anyone ends up trying this reading challenge, please let me know how it goes!! I’m still pushing myself to read outside of my comfort zone (a lot of these challenges are ones I’ve posed to myself), and would love to hear if other folks have thoughts on their reading journeys

#hunxi book tag #hunxi thinks about danmei and gender #心怀杂念字数无量

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hils79 · 7 months

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Hils Watches Cross Fire - Ep 12

Okay, I think we're over major angst for the time being. Back to idiot high schoolers being adorable and ridiculous

Aww she bought him socks

I really don't think he needs help being more assertive but if it lets them be bros and hang out then sure

Aww but she hates everyone except him. It's sweet that he's asking though. You know who has experience playing effectively in a team? Xiao Feng!

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. I bet they deserved it.

I rest my case

These two are adorable but Xu Wei has made me wary of shipping anyone now!

Noooo but why are they so cute?

Oh my god have they just accidentally invented an eating fetish channel where he cooks and she eats in exchange for rewards?

Oh my god what is happening?

Oh no women in suits are my kyptonite

I legit forgot about Xiao Feng's dad. Oh he is going to be in deep shit now.

Oh my god is Lu Xiaobei's dad going to adopt Xiao Feng?

Nooooo! Has An Lan moved out???

I was trying to work out why Wang Kai was wearing a bow and then all became clear

Oh my god she bought a fake library so she can pretend she's studying

Haha! Yeah, I could have seen that coming

This feels like a setup but I'm not quite sure how. Is Lu Xiaobei faking strife on his team so they'll poach him and explain their tactics?

Okay, I don't think it was a setup. They seem to be genuinely ready to break up. Ooh, like Xiao Feng's team broke up before they got back together. Maybe this is an eSports rite of passage

#hils watches #hils watches cross fire #hils watches cdramas #cross fire #crossfire #animal crossing #cdrama

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ellieknows · 2 months

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High Cheng - Xu Minghao x Reader StonerAU (On-Going) Chapter Two

What happens when you get dragged to your best friends boyfriends party and end up getting high with a hot stranger, whom you got along with very well, only to realise the next day, you never got his name?

PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END

Feedback/Constructive Criticism/Concerns can be given VIA comments, email ([email protected]), or private messages.

Read Chapter One: All Big Parties Suck

CHAPTER TWO: A Smoking (hot) Stranger

MASTERLIST

DISCLAIMER: Drug Usage, Mentions of SA, College Party, Smoking

"Do you wanna, uh join me? On my balcony I mean."

I stay silent.

"I'm just saying cause, I get what you mean by finding my balcony relaxing. Its the sole reason I chose this to be my room. And I wouldn't want to overwhelm you more by forcing you back into that hectic mess."

I think for a short while. I mean, it's better than going back out there and crying more.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. That would be great."

"Cool! Let me just grab some beanbags I have in my closet so we aren't just sitting on the cold hard floor." He says as he makes his way to his closet pulling out two beanbags and bringing them out to his balcony.

I follow him in silence before sitting down on one of the beanbags and stare at the night sky.

A few minutes of silence passes by.

"Are you cool if I uh, smoke? It just my way of relaxing... If you aren't cool with it then I won't. I just wanted to ask" The hot stranger asks, breaking the silence.

"Oh, yeah! Go ahead. I don't mind."

"Are you sure? I just don't want the weed smell and all to annoy or affect you in any way."

"No, no. You're okay! I used to smoke so I'm used to all of that anyways."

"Used to?" He inquires as he pulls out a little box with pre-rolled joints and a lighter.

"Mhm! I used to smoke a fair bit, but then school got harder, and took up more time and brain power until smoking wasn't a thought anymore. I just didn't have time. Plus, schools gotta come first, no?"

By now he has lit the joint, taken a puff and now the smell is starting to become familiar.

"I guess so. But having fun is also something that should come first. I mean, if all you do is work, wheres the fun in that." He takes another hit. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I only smoke in moderation, unless its school break. I mean I can't let it affect my school life. But, we're also in college. We're supposed to be drunk or fried half to time."

I laugh. "I guess so. I mean, it did help with the stress. Especially whenever I'd have Mr 'Havoc' Harrison. I swear he's the sole reason I used to smoke so much. Fucking annoying as hell. Never let us have a break"

"You mean Gary Harrison? Teaches communications?" he inquires with enthusiasm.

"Yeah, why, you've had him before?"

"Fucking hell, of course I have. I had to take one of his courses for my major or some shit. He's a shit teacher, no wonder he'd give us so much homework and assignments, cause the asshole never taught anything himself."

"Ugh, I get what you mean! Once I got super sick and couldn't turn up to classes and although I was emailing him about the lectures if he could forward me them or just tell me what we learnt, he just didn't! So when I approached him about it, he responded with 'Oh! I saw them. But you should've turned up to class instead of flaking on my classes. I'm not giving you resources for free.' Like, free! Dude I pay for your classes and all your stupid materials that we never use."

"Woah, really? Jesus, that must've sucked tenfold for ya. I still have no idea why he still teaches at this school."

I sigh. The anger in the rant, plus all the added emotions from the previous scenarios from this party, not to mention the smell of this guys joint, it's making me wanna-

"Hey." He says cutting off my thoughts. "You wanna hit?"

I look at him. "Huh?"

"I mean, today sure as hell must have sucked for you to be sitting out here in my balcony. Not to mention all the emotions rising in you after that rant. Plus you said you used to smoke to relax or destress, right? Why not smoke a joint?"

"Oh, I mean. I don't know. It's been a while."

"Just give it a try. I'll give you wanna my pre-rolled ones if you want?"

I look at him, unsure what to do.

"If you're still unsure, why not just take a few hits from my joint and if you don't want anymore, I'll happily smoke the rest."

If it were any other person in this world offering me this, offering me a joint, a total stranger. I would say no in a heartbeat. But, I wanna say yes. This man, this very attractive man, just makes me feel safe. Heck if it was anyone else, I wouldn't be here on a random balcony. But here I am. Making stupid choices. And this next choice might be one of them.

"You know what, sure. I'll take some hits from your joint."

Read Chapter Three: A Cry Fest

A/N: Please give me feedback on my writing! Two more chapters are posted (as of 23rd Feb 2024) however, the story is on-going.

This book is still in the works, and I desperately want to finish it this year. However, I'd like to make everyone aware of three issues. a) There are only three chapters published right now as I want to receive feedback from my audience on my writing style and plot building. Despite having been writing for many years, I am not confident in the style that I use for my stories and would appreciate constructive critique to help me improve future chapters. After a month of posting the chapters, further content will be added throughout this trail, I will collect the feedback, delete this section of my disclaimer, and apply my audience's feedback. Second, I am in my final year of school, therefore school comes first. Furthermore, my weekly schedule is extremely hectic, so many of these will be written during my rare free time or at times when most people are sleeping (don't worry, I will prioritise my health). Finally, this book covers mature issues like as drug usage, smoking, alcohol use, cheating, references to SA, and more. These will all be addressed at the start of the chapter so that you are aware in case triggers arise. Furthermore, I have never used drugs or any of the other topics discussed in this book, so I apologise if anything is incorrect.

Feedback/Constructive Criticism/Concerns can be given VIA comments, email ([email protected]), or private messages.

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fourseasonsfigs · 1 year

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Announcement: The Four Seasons Figthusiast Blog Branches Out!

Since I'm apparently incapable of not wanting to post about cute fandom merch, I've decided that my fig blog needs...a side hustle. So while this will absolutely remain a steady daily fig blog, I've decided to periodically add a few posts about other Word of Honor / Junzhe merch (primarily dolls) that are just too cute not to share. I'll try to post an extra one every weekend, but we'll see how time and my work schedule allows!

For the inaugural post in this new series, we're going back to where it all began - the First Encounter from Episode 1 of Word of Honor.

I find these series of fan produced dolls incredibly funny and absolutely delightful! I was first introduced to this sweetly smiling Hobo-Xu by a fan that posted a video holding him out a car window and his loose hair flying madly in the wind! I burst out loud laughing and have had an irrepressibly soft spot in my heart for him ever since.

Turns out (naturally), he has a husband, but the Lao Wen that he was originally paired with ... was crying! You know I can't stand to see figs cry! Well, that goes for dolls too. So when the doll maker produced this smiling version, I obviously snapped him up right away. I love him.

I will note that these dolls came exactly this way. Lao Wen's blushies in certain strategic areas, and both of their hairstyles. I was so absolutely delighted by the idea of the doll maker lovingly putting pony tails in each doll's hair (can you imagine how long that took?!?) that I kept it exactly so.

Ahahaha! Too funny! Have I mentioned how much I love this fandom?

These are 15cm dolls, which are my favorite. I love the 20cm dolls a lot, especially because the larger size gives them more real estate for their outfits, but they become a display space issue REAL fast. And you know I need that display space for figs.

The 15cm are much more compact and all the cuter for it, I think, while still having ample space for clothing detail. The 10cm dolls are in many ways even cuter because they are tinier, but then they start running into the problem of not having enough real estate for details on their outfits. So in my mind, 15cm is totally the sweet spot for dolls.

Here's the matching outfits I bought. Oh, you can see right here what the original Lao Wen doll looked like. He's cute, just not my style, and lacks the sheer hilarity of one scrunchied ponytail off to the side!

Here's a closeup of his fashion shoot card! The outfit did not come with his hat, sadly.

All the pieces of his outfit. YES that is an adorable wooden drinking gourd!

The clothing got a little wrinkled on the transpacific journey. To be expected, and originally I thought a few wrinkles would be just fine on a hobo, but it ended up affecting the look and drape of the clothes, especially the sleeves. So out came the steamer.

I was not at all sure what the white little thing was - I mean, obviously it's a dickey, but I didn't recall that Hobo-Xu was wearing a white underrobe. I mean, it makes sense, everyone in the jianghu must have at least 3-4 layers on at all time for propriety's sake, but I could not recall it on Zhou Xu at all. BUT I would never put money on my memory vs. a doll mama's exhaustive research. That's a sucker bet for sure - I am guaranteed to lose! So of course, I had to re-watch episode 1.

Yep, he sure does have a white underrobe. Good thing I didn't take that bet against myself (did I also have to watch episode 2 while I was at it? I'll never tell!)

Next layer is his blue wrap robe.

It's a bit more oversized than I expected, but that's pretty true to the styling of this outfit on the show. Very figure covering. Amazing that Lao Wen could even see his butterfly bones, really.

Note I really, really need all of these costume pictures released in a book that I can buy, I love them so much!

Now the darker blue outer robe. Again, pretty drapey. It's quite large - you can see how it covers his little feet there.

His belt barely fits. You can see it hanging on to the very end of the velcro there - I had to really cinch it tight. This laobinggui hasn't missed that many meals!

Look at this cute little wooden gourd. I love it so much. All the little details on these sets are so wonderful!

Ahh he's perfect. I felt totally fine putting his scarf to the side since it was too hot to wear in the show anyway!

This doll outfit card makes me laugh! Also, I'm admiring how perfectly styled the doll outfit is here. Those are some crisp lines! Beautiful.

I've mentioned before on this blog and on my Twitter how much I love Lao Wen's gorgeous episode 1 outfit. I love it so much that I bought the costume for myself. I was not disappointed by this rendition - it's wonderful! It too came a little wrinkly, but nothing too bad. The flying-shoulder outer robe here is actually silk, which is all kinds of amazing.

This underrobe is really pretty. I really wouldn't mind dressing like this, except for how hot it all actually is.

And the back.

Lao Wen, you exhibitionist, do up your robes!

There we go! This underrobe is actually fairly short, as in, we can see his little feet.

So pretty. Look at the shoulders! The bamboo print. So beautiful!

Here's the back. I see I'm going to run up against the 30-pic limit REAL fast for these posts.

Looking good, Lao Wen!

Can you believe his fan is metal!?! So nice. The official Rua figs only had a fabric and/or plastic fan. This is so much better.

I tried putting his fan around his little sunshiney paw there, but it ended up being hidden by his sleeve.

Unlike A-Xu, poor Lao Wen has been skipping some meals there in Ghost Valley...his belt snugs up just fine. A-Xu, your wallet please, let's feed this man up!

Ta da! One perfect little philanthropist, coming right up!

Here they are, looking ridiculously cute! I wish Lao Wen's outfit was a bit longer so it covered up his feet, but that just means I need to put 15cm "ancient shoes" on my purchase to-do list.

And here they are on doll stands (and yep, that's 30 images right there). I do actually have my Word of Honor dolls fully/permanently dressed and on stands (unlike my Junzhe dolls with their different outfits), so this is how they are on my display shelves. Until I need to relocate them for fig expansion space, that is!

Well, what do you think? Like the doll posts? I had a blast, that was so much fun. A nice complement to my daily figs, I have to say. I'm already excited to post on the next set of dolls, so I guess this special series is going to stick around a while!

If you're here for the figs and want to see some more of that content, here it is:

[link to the Master Fig Index]

#the amount of times I typed “fig” and changed it to “doll” should not be mentioned #but it was literally every time #I'm sure even now there are fig / doll typos #four seasons figs posts about dolls #word of honor #word of honor merch #zhou zishu #lao wen #wen kexing #wenzhou #woh

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bengiyo · 2 years

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About Youth Eps 5 & 6 Stray Thoughts

It's time for the prettiest boys of the year.

I do love these little letters at the beginning.

Oh good, we're starting with Ray and (goes to MDL because I swear they never say his name) Jian.

I will always go feral for gay people taking pictures together in photo booths. It's an important part of our cultural history, and the young people should continue it.

Jian assuring Ray he can fix the broken jewelry feels so important. We all do unintentional harm all the time, but it's more important that we make amends than that we never make mistakes. Love this show.

The intro for this song is a bop. I like it.

Damn, the enthusiasm Ye Guang had completely drained out of him as he prepared to go back home.

Sharing headphones, my beloved trope. The private intimacy in public gets me every time.

Mmm, what's Jian's hesitation going into this first kiss? Ah he's not entirely ready, and now Ray is embarrassed.

Aww, and now Ray is hurt that Ye Guang won't tell him about Xu Qizhang.

Love Xu Qizhang insisting Ye Guang make up with Ray.

Oh, Ye Guang and Ray are adorable. My heart.

Ye Guang can't even have a cute little date with Qizhang because of his overbooked parental schedule.

Ray and Jian both have incredible aesthetics.

Guang's grades haven't slipped and he seems happier; clearly this is a problem and we must punish him.

Gosh, this is terrible. We don't need to put them much pressure on students.

Is the reason Ye Guang didn't want to tell Ray about Qu Qizhang that he didn't want Ray's encouragement? He knows his parents will oppose him, so he won't make it more real?

I absolutely love this outro song. I can't find it on Spotify yet, but it will become a regular listen.

On to episode 6!

This dynamic with the band members almost reminds me of Given.

I suppose Qizhang is older than Guang? I did really enjoy his conversation with Ray.

Oh no here come the overbearing parents again. Tracking Guang and making him feel worse when he's already so dutiful feels cruel.

It's interesting seeing Taiwan deal with parents. Every time the prospective partner tries apologize for the parents. It's a very specific expression of filial piety that Taiwan seems to want to grapple with the most.

Oh, this is sad. I don't think Guang should have said that, but I like Qizhang not pushing back.

I love Qizhang's mom. She knows something's up, but is gonna let her son determine when to share.

BL boys are always so tall that they don't fit on beds.

The dad is a hypocrite in the worst way. I am growing to truly despise him.

I love Mama Xu so much. She's really great at dealing with these boys. Love a character effectively laying out communication tools.

God, I want these noodles. I'm so hungry.

Oh, I really enjoyed seeing these two make up. That was lovely.

🎵 "I wanna be your faith is slow motion. I can't forget your face in slow motion." 🎵

Oh I wish this show had previews.

#about youth #taiwan bl #taiwanese bl #bl series #Ben watches

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wjhchv · 2 years

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Loving you is a losing game… (pt.1)

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧｡･:*˚:✧｡

word count: 880

pairing | Wen Junhui x fm!reader

genre I non idol, university students, romance, heartbroken, oblivious, angst, heart rending.

warning(s) / includes | Depression, insecurities, heartbreak, swearing, mentions of tearing up blood, illness. (Let me know if I missed anything ♡)

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

The small town of Diamond Edge was filled with people who had normal waterworks and then the heartbroken who were condemned to tear up blood after being rejected for their love.

He takes the same train as me, I feel myself tense up whenever he steps into the train cubicle. I hate the feeling of still having to see him everyday, I’m hoping with every inch of myself that he’s not attending the same university as me, I desperately want it to stop.

I watch him as he lets women take his seats being a gentleman towards them something I wouldn’t know. It’s not like he’ll notice me staring at him, I always wear sunglasses and a mask because I don’t think I can handle having to come face to face to him ever again. the feeling of humiliation fills me up as my mind starts to wander to 1 year ago, my mind goes blurry as my music blasting in my ears fills up my senses.

♪ The night will hold us close and the stars will guide us home

I've been waiting for this moment, we're finally alone I turn to ask the question, so anxious, my thoughts

Your lips were soft like winter, in your passion, I was lost… ♪

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June 15, 2015

Exams were finally over, the time had come for seniors to leave the school grounds forever. my head turns towards the field as students gathered in their friend groups congratulating each other, the wind was blowing gently. It was time I had made up my mind, I slowly walked over to the field. The more closer I got towards his group felt like as if time was slowing down.

“Hey look who’s coming over here” the rude boy of our class chuckled, Xu Minghao the guy who hated people in general unless they were him the one who had his back turned to me, the one my world stopped for everytime I crossed him. he turned around with a small smile, I stopped. Will I able to say it? what if he rejects me? What if-

No! Alice you can do it!

My conscience called out me.

“Hello Jun l-“ I barely got the words out. Alice come on!

“Sorry?” His soft voice called out, I could’ve fainted right then and there.

“Jun I like you! I’ve liked you since the day you walked into our school with your long hair flowing in the wind” I finally spoke, I looked around me, everyone on the field froze once I had spoken I slightly cringed at my confession.

“I’m sorry who are you?” He let out slightly confused.

“Jun w-we’ve been in the same seat row for 4 years how-“

“Oh right your the quiet girl who sits in class with her head down and sits alone at lunch” he smirked down at me whilst taking a step towards me.

“did you fall for me silly girl? Sorry to break it to you but I’m not interested in social rejects.” I felt my heart clench as he said this. Am I really a social reject?

Humiliation took over my body, I felt cold tears run down my face, I wiped my tears and I saw the red liquid on my hand, my feet were planted I couldn’t move, I heard everyone around me gasp.

“What the hell?! She’s tearing blood!”

I came back to my senses I looked with red liquid blurring my vision, everyone had fear painted on their faces, I-I’m a monster, I gotta get out of here.

Alice run!

And that’s what I did I ran and I ran not looking back.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

you are now at diamond edge university of the arts

The train conductor called out, I grabbed my bag and waited for the train to come to a stop as I lifted myself up off the seat bolting it straight for the door. I walked quickly trying to avoid him, I quickly looked over my shoulder and could see him walking behind me.

Oh shit…

I start to walk even faster, until I heard a voice call out and I stopped in my tracks. “Hey excuse me!”. I kept my back turned towards him not having the courage to face him that is until he came face to face to me. “I saw the ID tag on your backpack, you are attending DEUOTA too right?” fuck why did I put my ID out in the open?? I mentally cursed myself. “Can you lead me towards the university I don’t know where I am going…” he spoke obviously flustered rubbing the back of his head, He was still handsome I’ll give him that.

“S-sorry I don’t know what your talking about, I-I have to go” I let out tripping over my words not having the strength to continue on the conversation, I apologized and walked off leaving him in disbelief.

You may think I’m being over dramatic, but I mentally do not have the strength to face him, he caused me this illness, that will never go away. I have to live with this defect everyday for the rest of my life. While he lives his life in peace and harmony, and here I am suffering because of him.

I hate him.

♪ A broken heart is all that's left

I'm still fixin' all the cracks

Lost a couple of pieces when I carried it, carried it, carried it home ♪

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Thank you for reading!!

Please be kind in the comments♡

!!Please do not copy my work!!

Plagiarism is a crime!!

Song mentions:

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sizhui · 1 year

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Oh Ah-xu we're really in it now

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dingyuxi · 2 years

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z anon again also i agree w yamh!! it's always so refreshing to see no love triangles!!!! also DID YOU SEEEEEE YUMI'S CELLS 2 IS GETTING RELEASEDDDD IN JUNEEEEEEEE. like i was emo over why her being released late but to think that two of my most anticipated dramas are going to be airing the same time *melts* also plus and minus is the first taiwanese bl ive seen but im soooo in love w it!! i swear good bls keep coming out, maybe it's because i'm watching based on what i see you rb/create hehe. also sooo tru, kinnporsche is full of eye candy but i also enjoy the banter and action scenes. like i think it's my favorite thai drama overall so far, altho i'm not too exposed to thai media!! also thank u for validating that i dont need to finish it because it is... definitely not worth it imo. like the more i sit w the fact that they used the slur sm the more i'm like :/// not for me....also i don't mind xu kai but a mutual literally hates him so going into falling into your smile i was expecting like full blown terrible 발연기 but it wasn't bad at all kdgjnkjn. shooting stars is v mediocre which is a shame, and since i'm part black the problematic elements of the drama have caused me to drop it. the only reason i'll watch the drama r cameos since ik we're getting a find me in your memory cameo/reunion!!!!! i hated our blues tbh but i'm enjoying the highschoolers' plot and look forward to han jimin and kim woobin. i feel like han jimin can do no wrong, she could be a murderer for a role and i'd be like "ykno, maybe they deserved it..." also thank u!! i will add these to my watchlist for more dramas! this week and next are my wrapping up as well so it is hectic but then we have summer to relax!! at least i do since i'm not doing an internship this yr!! hang in there and i hope you receive the grades you desire!! also i've been seeing your gifsets for going to you at 493km/h and I LOVE THIS DRAMA SM!!! i think the two leads have great chem and are really underrated actors so hopefully the ratings get better :( also jo hanchul always delivers w whichever role he chooses!! ALSO since my last message i've been watching miss crow and mr lizard and i'm alr on ep 18.. IT'S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! - z

hiiii this is very late but here I am!! Finally responding 💕💕💕I SAW THE POSTERS YES. i admit I didn’t watch season one but jinyoung is lead this time so!! i might just have to watch now. what’s your other most anticipated drama? the BLs are really stepping up their game recently. it’s great to see. i can’t wait for to my star 2 to drop because we need that natural chemistry back in our screens again and hwang da seul beloved we can always trust her to deliver. I’ve still only gotten a chance to watch the first ep of plus and minus but!!! i really like their dynamic so I’ll probably just binge it eventually. “maybe it’s because I’m watching based on what you rb/create” 🥺🥺 now the pressure is on! hopefully I don’t lead you astray fjsks. LOLLL why does she hate xukai spill the tea. i don’t really have any opinion on him except he had that one set is photos and I was like oh? He’s kinda hot here. I’ll be honest I dropped shooting stars I watched the first episode and then never continued it just didn’t grab me enough I guess. oof yeah I can see how that would hit too close to home, I support you dropping it, you gotta do what’s best for you! i also dropped our blues lmfaoo it was too depressing and also the women keep getting the short end of the stick. i was watching mostly for the high schoolers too but even then the writers chose the messiest plot lines I swear. also the anti-abortion propaganda was going full force. LAP is cute, ngl I was getting a little annoyed at everyone being as*es to taeyang tho and the continuous circling around the big “secret” but at least this week we got some progression in the right direction! MISS CROW AND MR LIZRAD!! Ugh I loved the otp there sm (the ending was annoyingly rushed tho 😔 but other than that! loved them) I’ve been in the mood for crime/investigation dramas recently so that’s what I’ve been watching most recently. Congrats on finishing your semester and I hope you get to spend a really fun a relaxing summer vacation! You deserve it ^^

#asks #anon #answered

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jaanmaeri · 2 years

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fully convinced they saw the comedic timing and adlib skills xu zhengxi has and were like, u do u bruh

#the hair tucks #the swaying from side to side on the bed after making her sleep on the floor #the apology scene omg never before have my toes curled because of a smile #the autumn ballad #yan yu fu #cdrama #xu zheng xi #xiao qin #xiao qing #i'm stopped at ep 28 for now and am hoarding until it's over over #i never ever start airing dramas but it's really tiding me through life rn so i guess desperate times call for desperate measures #the story goes up and down like the stock market but the leads are really really pulling through #they're making what could have been hot garbage into one of my favourite cdramas to date #i really really hope they don't screw up in this last little bit because really #my sanity might be depending on this #i know it's terrible to say ofc and i don't mean to pressure the writers #this is more a plea to God #oh wow now we're the religion part of the monologue I'm going to shut up nowwww #consider me that one heartbroken tear on Liang Daren's face tyty

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beneathashadytree · 3 years

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May I please request Lucien from MLQC, comforting his beloved who hasn't yet learned to love herself? He loves her dearly and is infinitely patient with her, and won't ever stop loving her because he truly wants her to believe in herself and accept that she is worthy of being loved. Any genre is okay. Thank you so much!!! ❤️ I am infinitely patient and love your writing, so please take your time and no need to rush my dear. :)

EVERY INCH IS LOVED - LUCIEN XU X READER

Warnings : lots of talk about insecurities (body image issues, acne, intelligence), self-worth issues, implied depressive episodes, I think maybe one curse word? reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : hurt/comfort (my heart ached writing this)

Word count : 3.3K (I got carried away sfsgjssj)

Additional notes : I am so, very, really, terribly sorry this is so late! I hadn't received the notification for this, and by the time I checked my email over a month had already passed. I tend to write the reader as gender-neutral, but if you'd like me to change that to a reader using she/her pronouns, I have no qualms doing that! I did my best making this longer than usual as some sort of compensation for the long wait, and I hope you enjoy it. And remember, you deserve all the love there is in the world, and your insecurities are certainly things people who care for you find endearing about you.

Synopsis : Putting up a care-free front was hard enough as it is, but pretending you don't have raging insecurities when you're married to the ever-perceptive Lucien Xu was a plan set to fail from the start.

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

For a man like Lucien Xu, nothing he did was ever as simple as it seemed. The concept of being so multi-faceted applied itself to all aspects of his life; his research never targeted just one scientific area or one single hypothesis, his words of advice were never suited for just one situation, and his actions were never quite what they seemed and never had one clear motive. This enigma that he was shrouded in and infinite slyness also slipped through in his love life, as was to be apparent to me further down the line, seeing as half of his softly spoken words and carefully done actions had hidden messages.

Lucien's method of approach was oh-so-subtle that even I, in such close proximity to him, didn't notice for months. It was in the simplest things he did that just slipped past me---but come to think of it now, he was awfully sweet not being blunt about it.

***

"Where are you off to now, sweetheart?" his voice was gentle so as not to startle me, but somehow I still jumped with my hand halfway on the doorknob, as if I subconsciously felt guilty for what I was about to do.

Sheepishly smiling, I gave him an honest reply, "Just wanted to buy some groceries. We're seriously lacking fruits and veggies in our fridge."

What I'd certainly expected was a surprised look to be etched onto his face, considering that I'd never considered myself the most avid health-nut. Hell, I never thought too hard about what I stomached because of how hectic my schedule had always been; most of the time I was eating just as a source of nutrition and almost never out of enjoyment of the meal itself.

However, a recent acne break-out had had me tugging at my hair in frustration, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that one of the most probable reasons behind it was the fact that I often indulged in late night snacks when both Lucien and I were engrossed in our work. As the spots increased in both size and number, no doubt egged on by stress, I increasingly felt like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin, and since that certainly wasn't possible, what I could do was cut down on the sweet vices and resort to healthier (albeit far less enjoyable) snacks.

But for some odd reason, my husband paid me no mind.

Lucien turned back to his morning paper, not giving much thought into his words as he offered, "I'll come with, we're all out of your favorite chocolate and my white tea anyways."

"I don't think that's a good idea," I began to nervously pick at my skin, unaware of what I was doing, watching as Lucien still set down his glasses and the folded newspaper on the coffee table, making his way towards me, "It's not good for my skin---"

"Nonsense," he briskly brushed my interjection off, slipping on his shoes, "All's good in moderation. What isn't good is to ban yourself from occasionally indulging in the things you like," turning to me as he opened the door, he gave me that gentle smile of his that had his eyes turning into crescent moons, "Shall we? Any later and we'll end up stuck in morning traffic."

There wasn't a hint of aggression in his words nor his voice, and yet somehow they were spoken with finality that had me sighing helplessly and following after him.

***

Days came and went, and I was still yet to pick up on his slyness, even when I was forced to go on an impromptu shopping trip for Anna's vow renewal over the weekend (which had, rather expectedly, gone completely over my head) and he'd invited himself to come along with me since it was his day off anyways.

He kept himself entertained with picking clothes while I took the liberty of trying them on, but the current predicament I was facing in the almost claustrophobia-inducing fitting room was that nothing seemed to look right anymore.

Perhaps the fact that I'd been cooped up at home and the office working for hours on end without being able to squeeze in any exercise in between was to blame? Or maybe it was because of me resorting to junk food when I was too tired to whip something up in the kitchen and Lucien was stuck at the research center until godly hours? Well, for whatever reason it was, I was rather put off by the way all the blouses I would've normally fawned over were too snugly fit around me.

Turning around to inspect every inch of every top I picked, I frowned deeper as I grew more and more disheartened, the frustration I was feeling causing me to huff as the more I stared the more my size bothered me; like an itch that just wouldn't go away.

"Sweetheart?" I could hear his inquisitive voice from the other side of the door separating us, "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing much," I grumbled, my voice coming out a bit muffled as I slipped out of a particularly pretty chiffon blouse in my favorite color, wistfully staring at it as I hooked it once again to the hanger, "Just nothing looks good on me right now, so I'm kinda put off, you know?"

As I opened the door, I found him standing right in front of me, "No, I really don't know, I don't think there's a single outfit you wouldn't pull off amazingly," despite how honeyed his words might've seemed, there wasn't a hint of flirtation hidden in them; his tone was as deadpan as though he were stating a fact, "I think that chiffon blouse would look beautiful on you, seeing as that color really suits you," he didn't even bother waiting for a reply from me, simply opting to pluck the top from my hands and briskly walking off to the cashier, "Come on, knowing you you'll still need some time at home figuring out the make-up look you want to settle on."

With a chuckle, I followed after him as he began to pull out his credit card, a serene smile on his face as I gave his free hand a firm squeeze of thanks, my thoughts already distracted by a dozen make-up ideas that I remembered seeing on an artist's blog a while back.

***

The third time his intentions had slipped past my notice was sometime during the colder winter nights, when Lucien and I were keeping ourselves decently warm at an indoor party, clad in heavy clothes and wrapped in a million scarves and hats we could barely hear anyone speak.

Despite all that, Lucien seemed to be enjoying himself very much as he carried conversations with colleagues with ease, the pleasant lilt in his voice attracting everyone, even myself. However, after a few minutes of trying to listen in and realizing that I was struggling to make head or tail of anything they were discussing, I began to tune them out, feeling significantly worse about my own capabilities and intelligence. The gap between my husband and I was just far too large for me to be oblivious to, and the sudden epiphany struck me like a knife to the chest.

Seeing as I was his plus one to this get-together, I couldn't just up and leave without the risk of publicly embarrassing him---something I wouldn't dare to do, given how highly he was regarded by society and fellow scientists in his field of work. Feeling rather inadequate while sitting beside such a renownedly brilliant man as Lucien, I began to fiddle with the loose threads at the end of my skirt, my mind going blank and all thoughts replaced with a hint of sorrow.

I hadn't even noticed that I'd begun to hunch my back over and I wouldn't have, if it weren't for the calming voice in my ear that snapped me out of it.

"What's on your mind? You haven't spoken much all night," there was mild concern laced in his words, but not enough to upset me.

I looked up to find his violet eyes peering at me, and I could only give a half-smile back, "I'm sorry, I'm just really lost 'cause I have no idea what you're talking about."

The second I replied, he reached out to gently pat the top of my head, the weight of his hand resting on me very grounding. That beautifully reassuring smile of his crossed his features once again.

"My little fool, you should've just said so," he chuckled helplessly, "You act as if you don't know that nothing brings me greater joy than explaining things that interest you."

As he began to stroke my hair, I mumbled under my breath, "Didn't want to embarrass you."

Nothing seemed to ever take him aback, not even this comment. Instead, all he did was kiss my forehead in a surprisingly affectionate manner and spoke once again in that leveled voice of his.

"You couldn't even if you tried."

And then he was off, launching into a detailed yet somehow perfectly simplified lengthy explanation of the topics they'd been discussing, before I could even as much as utter a word of thanks.

***

Despite thinking that I could put up that front for so long, I should've known better than to believe that such a tangled web of lopsided smiles and half-assed laughs would hide how I truly felt for too long.

It's not that I was being fake on purpose or anything of the sort; I hated to think that I was tricking Lucien into thinking I was someone I was not... but for some reason, I felt absolutely mortified to show how deeply ingrained my insecurities went. They expanded and took over every inch of my life, rendering me helpless at times I thought I had full control. My intrusive thoughts lunged at me when I least expected it, and I thought that I was doing a fairly good job protecting my husband from them.

Alas, an act can only be put up for so long before the truth is revealed, as I was soon to come to realize.

Being home alone guaranteed me the safety of being able to allow all the horrible thoughts to eat up at my insides. It was sick, being satisfied with and even liking the fact that I could let myself do that without worrying about slipping up in front of Lucien. I was giving my pile of insecurities permission to penetrate every bit of my mind, and as much as I knew it was a terribly destructive habit, I couldn't bring myself to stop them.

My heart ached in my chest as I lay curled up on the bed, tangled in a mess of sheets in the darkness of our bedroom. The only light was that of the moonlight flitting in through the blinds and barely touching on the scattered objects in the room, providing just enough vision for me to try and ground myself. I wasn't even actively trying to stop the onslaught of nasty ideas circulating in my mind; as a matter of fact, I was almost welcoming them, a chiding voice in my head telling me that I deserved to hear what I felt was the truth, and that I shouldn't run away from the reality of things.

Utter hatred for my own self and my state of mind crept upon me, and I couldn't bite back the choked sobs that tumbled from my lips. Clutching at the pillowcase so hard that I was close to ripping it apart, I had to squeeze my eyes shut in a pathetic attempt to completely forget my surroundings and melt into the mattress, as if that would make things any better. So caught up in my own little world of loathing and self-deprecation, I failed to notice the sound of footsteps in the chilly room, too busy shivering and bawling my eyes out.

In spite of that, I wasn't startled by the fact that the bed had dipped beside me. I had completely lost track of time while I was wallowing in my self-pity, so it certainly was to be expected that Lucien would at some point make it home during my crying-fest.

For a long while he didn't speak, and I felt too shameful to bother stopping my tears at this point. My 'secret' was out in the open, and there was no use in lying about it, so I just let him be. His hand was deftly fingering through my hair, tenderly caressing in a languid, unrushed manner. The solemn atmosphere mixed with his gentle touch caused my crying to slowly cease, sobs being reduced to measly hiccups and the occasional whimper, quickly being replaced by a hollowness in my chest. It wasn't any better, but it wasn't any worse at the very least.

I knew he wouldn't broach the topic unless I was the one to initiate conversation; it was just who he was. He was far too careful to just throw caution into the wind and risk me pushing him away for being too nosy---though, in all honesty, if he were to ever directly ask me about anything I'd spill all my darkest secrets. That was the thing about him that had stuck throughout all these years: he was far too comforting of a presence to hide anything from him.

I don't know what prompted me to speak then. For whatever reason, I just blurted out the words lingering on my tongue.

"I feel like shit about myself."

"I know."

Taking in a shuddering breath, I went on, "I try to act like it's not a big issue, but it's constantly on my mind, the feeling that I'm never enough."

"I know."

"And I have to give myself a million pep talks before I can even think of doing or saying anything out of fear of putting you or anyone else off," I began to ramble, unaware of the fact that a terribly sad look had settled on Lucien's features as he hovered above me, "I pray and hope that one day I'll wake up and I'll magically think higher of myself all of a sudden, but every day I'm hit with the feeling of never being enough because of any shortcomings I have," my hold on the pillow tightened once more as the hand on top of my head stilled, though the weight was still reassuring, "I try to get through every day things without fussing too much over details, but it gets harder and harder to breathe whenever I find myself falling short of the standards I want to reach."

"I know."

Clenching my fists, I dared to look up at those unfathomable violet eyes that seemed awfully shiny to be anything other than burdened with emotions.

"Then how do you," I choked a bit on my words, before trying again, "How do you deal with me? Day in and day out?"

Shaking his head, he reached out to pull me into his chest, his arms tightening around me so I was impossibly close.

"Silly," his voice from above me was much thicker than I was used to, "I never see it as dealing with you. When you put it like that, you're implying that you're some sort of burden, and that couldn't possibly be farther from the truth," he laughed a breathy laugh, "I want to be with you. In sickness and in health, in joy and in sadness. The fact that your heart feels heavier than others means that there's just more of you to love harder."

Tugging at his loose tie, I barely manged to look him in the eyes with my blurry vision and boiling frustration at myself, "But Lu, it's not your job to take care of me---"

"You're right, it really isn't, so that should be a clear indication of just how much I genuinely want to give you all the love I have," he pressed on, his eyes firm as they'd always been when it came to matters he took more seriously than anything, "I don't force myself to do things. Not anymore. Everything I do for you, I do willingly and with intent. Alright?"

Seeing my wary expression and watery eyes hesitate as they flit back and forth between his strikingly handsome face and a distant point, Lucien's large hands slowly made purchase on my cheeks, cupping my face as he made sure I could read no doubt in his own eyes, even in the room that only received a sliver of moonlight.

"When I mention that you look beautiful, I have no reason for flattery. We're well past the courting stage for that to even be a useful tactic," he gave me a lop-sided smile, inching even closer to me on the bed, "When I tell you how highly I think of you, that's brutal honesty, because I've never truly valued much in my life, and you were among the very rare exceptions," expression growing solemn, he went on, "It's rather odd, but I had no sense of living without aim, until you came waltzing into my life once more," deft thumbs began to gently wipe away at the stray tears that escaped my eyes, "Everything was a drab shade of black, white, or gray, but since your reappearance as someone I truly cherished, everything just burst into a flurry of colors. And I can't be more grateful for you, my love."

The overwhelming urge to fling myself in his arms and burrow myself a home against his chest won against the need to hide away from his words. A raging inferno of complex emotions was bubbling inside of me, and I couldn't help but choke at their intensity, wanting nothing more than to say something, anything at all to reply to him. Alas, words failed me and drowned in my throat, and all I could do was cry silently as my body shook. Lucien's warm palms were rubbing my back soothingly, and his voice was almost angelic when he spoke once more.

"I know things won't suddenly heal over, but I know for a fact that every inch of you is loved by me, and I will never give up on pushing you onto the path of self-love," his arm finally settled to hook itself around my waist, while his other hand nestled the back of my head, giving him enough space to press the sweetest of kisses against my temple, and while the cacophony of screaming voices in my head didn't mute themselves instantaneously, I could sense their voices growing a bit fainter, for the time being at least, "And I won't stop until you can see for yourself exactly why I love you so fiercely, alright darling? That's a promise."

And knowing him, Lucien Xu, as incredibly elusive and conniving as he often was, had a knack of keeping promises and seeing them through right until the very end. Even as I clutched his shirt so dearly in the dark room, desperation clinging onto my heart, I was sure that Lucien would be there by my side on the road to feeling comfortable in my own skin. It really was only a matter of time as long as I had my wonderful husband by my side.

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