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recitedemise · 5 months

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𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲'𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿. This lengthy headcanon will refer to canon dialogue from mostly Gale, sometimes others. Reader's discretion is very much advised. There will be in depth explorations into grooming, emotional abuse, heavy manipulation, and suicide.

First, let it be said that Gale, a mortal man, will always be the powerless one in his dynamic with Mystra. Of course, nearing forty years of age, he remains entirely responsible for his own actions, his own foul blunders and every hurt he'll cause, but it's important to remember who formed much of who he is: his goddess, his deity, and egregiously, his lover.

Mystra is power. Mystra is possibility. She knows what sway she holds over her Ioyal, vulnerable, and entirely mortal followers. In all ways that matter, they are but lambs she can steer and herd as she sees fit. She knows they can't deny her, and knows they'll never want to. Gale's sheer servitude and complete devotion; to the very quick of his bones, she lapped them up.

Gale: I was just... practising an incantation. Player Character: No, there's more to it than that. I know devotion when I see it. Gale: What can I say? She's—she's Mystra. I can't describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her - to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence... Mystra is all magic. And as far as I'm concerned, she is all creation. Player Character: I didn't realize the depth of your devotion. Gale: Magic is... my life. I've been touched with the Weave for as long as I can remember. There's nothing like it.

Gale, orb in his chest, doomed to be eaten by the very thing he loves the most, still speaks so reverently of the goddess, of his lover that has left him to die. He conjures images of her memory—and she is all the while forgetting about his.

Minsc: Gale reminds me of vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rasheman. While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth, I thought it born of caution after some catastrophe of wizardly men-folk of old. Now, I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm?

Tales of Mystra's treachery spreads far, leaving those familiar waters surrounding Gale's tower in Waterdeep. They whisper her name, afraid to utter it one time too many, suspecting, perhaps, that she'll show in their mirror like some Faerûnian Bloody Mary.

Talent rouses Mystra. She can see who uses the gift of the Weave and feel them, sampling whatever delight sings their veins as they pull from her domain. Not unlike a spider, she'll follows every tremor that strikes her as just a sliver more profound; and Gale, a prodigy, plucked the Weave's web to so garner her focus. And like some black widow scurrying, she surged down that ripple to prey on a boy. There, Gale, so impressionable, was just a mite older than twelve whole summers. He sat so stunned, beholding Mystra as she lured him into the cradle of her Astral domain. Bathed in her magic, pleasantly coddled within that glittering cosmos, Gale felt blessed in a way he'll struggle always to recount, no word, no language, fit to describe it. He felt chosen. He felt seen. And potently, to a child, he felt loved. Now, imagine a child experiencing something like that. Imagine what they'd think, how brilliant they must be when stood beside the rest. She told him he was gifted, made his heart swell not unlike a child's appetite for praise. She knew what she was doing by offering these morsels, by preying on a child's most delicate mind, and Gale, child prodigy, was already so awash in the idea that his value was in magic. Unfortunately, Gale, susceptible, had no way of squirming out of his goddess' grasp.

Reality: She's laid down the seeds to creep into his heart. When he's just old enough—seventeen's sufficient, she thinks—she stakes her claim and makes him hers.

Gale: My virtuosic talent once caught the eye of the goddess of magic herself, Mystra, who named me her chosen and her lover.

Gale is stunned when she takes him to bed the first time. (Is this really happening?) Mystra claims his mouth in a kiss, taking everything she knows he offers so willingly. Mystra, of course, is not so stunned.

Dream Visitor: An elder brain... one of the cruelest and most powerful creatures in existence, enslaved by mere mortals. Gale, tasked with Mystra's missive to sacrifice himself: This is it... I must do as Mystra commands.

Gale has worryingly low self-esteem beyond his magic. As already explored, his entire worth as a man hinged on and was built entirely off his talent as a wizard. He fought tooth and nail for any crumb of affection Mystra would offer his way, something she only gave him at all seeing his gift as a child. He wants her forgiveness. He desires it genuinely. He believes so firmly that he has wronged his goddess, buying into the idea that sacrificing himself will right his wrong. She holds such dominion over him, making him reduce his confidence in himself into a mere, trifling pittance; after all, she wasn't just his lover, but the patron deity he prays to. And regardless, Gale is a people pleaser, his initial acceptance of her missive coming as no surprise.

After all, Gale, at times, goes to incredible lengths to appease his audience. This habit, compulsion, impulse, whatever you want to call it, is a quality that was relentlessly exacerbated in his relationship with his immortal paramour. He wanted to content her, felt all he did was never enough, for as a matter of principle, he was oceans, leagues, and entire galaxies beneath her. Gale figures: well, how can a short-lived dalliance satisfy a god? He had to make her happy. Indeed, he'd done everything she'd ask. He'd bedded her how she liked, kissed her how she wanted, and of course, even said those words she'd said tasted best. She was his lover, a lover that never tended to his own needs and pleasures, and he fooled himself into thinking that's enough. He won't bend backwards for everyone, mind you, but if you're of the ones he would, he would stop at nothing to make you happy. After all, people pleasing is a way to keep oneself safe, a trauma response to sidestep discomfort, and though it achieves only a direly tentative peace, when that is all you've been fed, you will pursue it.

Gale did not want to lose Mystra; he couldn't bare the sting of it. And so, when Elminster visited him, Mystra's call for his death offered oh so callously, Gale, heartbroken, felt that part of him kick up. He couldn't endure the guilt, was so hungry for a chance to let his weighty heart breathe, even if it meant dying in the process.

At least this way, he'll finally do something right. At least this way, Mystra will forgive him, and all his friends will survive.

Gale: After I was afflicted with my condition, I locked myself in my tower for an entire year. I was inconsolable, wallowing in my self-inflicted tragedy. I'd given up on myself.

As a byproduct of people pleasing, Gale, too, is all too quick to accept all guilt. He self-deprecates, gaslights himself to a venomous degree, and twists his reality in so cruel a way as to make him the villain Mystra'd led him to believe. He self-flagellates himself, the first one in the world who will throw Gale of Waterdeep a mental punishment. Mystra's a goddess, after all, seen as utterly faultless, and twined so tightly with a being so mighty in esteem, Gale slipped into the role of the guilty often. When tied with anyone with grandeur like this, so immeasurable in their own self worth, it's important to keep in mind this: you are nothing but a prop in which to fulfill their ego. Gale was not Mystra's, not by a long shot. Rather, Gale was a tool, simply her mortal extension.

And he took every blow meant for her... a common and terrible habit for many people in imbalanced, ego-fueled relationships.

Gale's life beyond her wasn't something that interested her. She took most of Gale's devotion, manipulated his life to be her sole mantle of attention, for Mystra is not a goddess that shares very happily.

Indeed, long before his self-imposed isolation, this jealous deity did well at keeping him isolated.

Player Character: Picture kissing him. With tenderness. Then, with passion. Gale: I... I didn't think— Narrator: You perceive quick-fire embarrassment, trepidation, and finally... elation.

And so, cheated out of love, so reduced in his value as a man and lover both, suffice to say, Gale's slow to believe he can ever be loved. That's what happens when you're with someone so cold, consistent only in their infinite lack of respect. Gale looks at fondness, and he feels—confounded, to be sure. He thinks, is this truly mine to have? He doesn't know what to do, is nearly forty in game, and despite having lived decades devoted to one relationship, he feels, at the same time, entirely out of depth. To be frank, he greets it with embarrassment, like he's been caught red handed with something not his at all. He's like a child caught rummaging with his hand in a cookie jar, all this isn't mine to enjoy, not mine to indulge in, but he thinks, startled, but god, do I want. He wars with disbelief, uncertainty, and need, and in so many ways feeling utterly starved, with just a glimmer of affection, he falls fast into love.

Scenario: (And if properly romanced, it changes his world.)

Gale: In her (Mystra's) likeness, I used to read a thousand stories. She was beauty, wisdom, elegance, power... she contained universes. But now... it is hard to see any redeeming qualities in a lover who condemned you to death. I'd much rather gaze into your eyes than hers. Yours are capable of tenderness and feeling... No god could ever compare.

He says it with sincerity. There is such wonder, such love, and such awe in his eyes. He makes the act of kissing him feel like you've just reached into the trenches to but pluck him soundly from his ruin and despair. You think, Gale Dekarios, how unloved have you been all this time?

Gale: To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command… none have loved me so purely before.

The answer is: entirely.

For so long, Gale thought love was simply being chosen. He knew nothing of being favored for the quality of his character, to be cherished and accepted even in those ways he fumbles and lacks. Again, his needs were seldom met, often treated with utter indifference by Mystra herself, and to meet someone so eager to treasure him, dote on him in a way his heart, his body is somberly new to, raptures his spirit and captures his soul. He's seen for who he is. He's... loved, desired for his silly quips, his easy smiles, and his growing affections. He bares himself to them, and in turn, they cradle his heart like something entirely precious. Gale thinks this has to be dream. He says, at times, you are more than I deserve.

Scenario: (But sometimes, he hopes too strongly and loves too greatly. As it always does, then, like he's once more wanted too much, he watches something beautiful slip right through his fingers. Of course, Gale Dekarios. Of course it does.)

Player Character: I didn't know you felt so strongly, Gale. Gale: Perhaps I should have done more. Been more charming, more flattering, harder to reach... but I was only myself, and sometimes that isn't enough.

They don't love him anymore. It breaks his heart. He hurts so much, so profoundly and deeply, and he doesn't realize that he breaks their heart in turn.

Unable to ever voice his feelings with Mystra in any way that amounted to much, Gale's a tendency to wallow, expressions coming off as potentially 'guilt-tripping' and even, on occasion, passive aggressive. Firstly: Gale NEVER means to manipulate emotions, and he's no intention of twisting anyone's arm, either. Fact is, Gale, never taken seriously when he'd bared his vulnerabilities to the Mother of the Weave, can end up saying just a little too much. He feels very deeply, and for most his life, seldom had an outlet for these weeping sentiments. He sometimes lets slip raw words and oftentimes heart-wrenching expressions; all the same, it's not so pitiful as to shepherd an outcome, but rather, is a gesture taken by a man so desperate to be heard. It may feel like scheming, but the truth is far, far greyer: feeling as though he's no right to share the depth of his heart, Gale simply lets it geyser out in a way he can't cork up. In ways he doesn't realize, he's adapted to this ache, passively reacting so his feelings can at least be seen and recognized—no matter how pitifully unwhole. With someone who values so little his thoughts... well, when he slips into these moods, one can hardly feign shock.

Situation: (And if no one shows him trust and tenderness, any true care in his character or worth, Gale gets swallowed up by how wronged he was.

He thinks: Let me be a god. Let no one hurt like me anymore.)

Gale: They only want us to serve them, pray to them...and ultimately, to die for them. But what if we didn't need them? What if we wielded their power instead and helped ourselves in all the ways they refuse to? I could make that happen.

Gale is not above anger, and as stated, he is not above pettiness; however, more than that, he is not above righting himself whatever wound he was struck. Gale, if not offered much by ways of affection, understanding, is made to believe that one idea that's lived growing in his mind: Gale Dekarios is far from sufficient; he has to be more. He has to be better. Gale, in such an unkind ending for himself, sips too desperately—and perhaps greedily, too, but desperately serves as a far better word—at that idea that he needs power. And so, wresting the Crown of Karsus for himself, he spites Mystra in his own way, becoming a god he feels is leagues better than she will ever be. Damn her thoroughly. Damn her ego, her power, and her endless indifference. He will serve the people, protect them, and in ways Mystra never could, better the world.

Situation: But as a god, he loses all sense of his kindness. Humanity. All who loved him leave him, and even Tara spurns the image he's become. With power, he's gained the respect he thought he always wanted... but in turn, he lost in even greater measure all the love he's known.

Endnote: But healing, knowing to forgive himself and knowing he's deserving of care simply for being Gale Dekarios will remain, always, the best path for him.

#HEADCANON.#Oh... anyway. This. Was. A lot.#And it was a lot for me mentally and emotionally to write.#So much of this hit home.#Gale isn't perfect. He can be petty and immature—a byproduct of not being all too good at venting his frustrations when #it gets to a point. He has very bad self esteem. He is not forgiving of himself and is too forgiving of Mystra.#He endured FOR DECADES the cold indifference of a goddess he called his lover.#I know people dog on him because he's a grown man with these hurts and traumas and responses #but just because his trauma manifested in ways you don't find palatable or hot or sexy #doesn't mean they aren't scars left by trauma buddy!!!#And quite frankly that bit about God Gale sounding vindictive and angry #yeah! SOMETIMES people who have so cold and uncaring and belittling a partner #end up angry. You shoved someone into a corner and hounded them for SO LONG. Don't start crying when they rear back on you and bite #I have a deep connection with godhood Gale. But obviously a healed Gale that finds love and acceptance in himself is so much healthier.#I'm rooting for you Gale (always).#So much of this was typed up with a lot of first hand experience so... to say this was a Gale exploration #as much as a way to navigate my own trauma is an apt one.#No two tales of abuse are alike of course. Gale's experience isn't my experience. But I can sympathize a great deal.#TL;DR: This meta post means a lot to me. K. Thanks.

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wyvernquill · 2 years

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Today I offer you the following headcanon/scenario: Hob dislikes Shakespeare and criticises him, but not because he's jealous of Dream walking off with him in 1589... no, it's because he genuinely thinks the man was a talentless hack.

Let me elaborate.

Hob does like Shakespeare's plays, and grudgingly admits they're the work of a "half-decent playwright", judging from the 1789 scene. He does appreciate the craftsmanship.

The only trouble: Hob is of the opinion that it's not technically Will's work at all. It's His Stranger who had... well, some hand, at least, in the creation of those masterpieces, and Hob hates that Shakespeare gets the sole credit.

(Now, to be clear, I do think that all Dream did was lend Shakespeare support and inspiration and the power to put his own dreams and imaginations into words. It's absolutely still William Shakespeare's work at the core, and Dream's involvement is hardly much more than in any other story ever written - but Hob doesn't know exactly how this works, does he?)

Imagine his frustration. Imagine people praising Shakespeare as a genius in front of him, and Hob bursting to say "actually, he was total shite until he sold his soul or something to the maybe-devil in exchange for talent". He thinks he's the only human in the world who knows The Truth About Will Shaxberd, and it drives him mad that any attempt to explain it would make him sound like some conspiracy nut.

It's the sort of thing that could drive a man to irrationally hate a playwright and his ill-gotten gains, it really could.

(Which is highly hypocritical of him, seeing as he himself enjoys the boon of that very same maybe-devil - well, his sister’s, actually, not that Hob knows that - but it's aBOUT THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING-)

And that's how Hob ends up as his university's #1 Shakespeare Hater.

And perhaps, Dream eventually explains to him who he is and how his boons work, and Hob suddenly realises he has to revise his entire spiteful opinion of William Shakespeare, who may have had a certain spark of talent of his own, after all...

And then, groping desperately for some reason to cling on to his increasingly irrational dislike of the man, Hob recalls how Will stole his date back in 1589, and breathes a sigh of relief at the realisation that he can carry on hating Shakespeare just as much as before, only now for a different reason.

(Not that saying "I hate Shakespeare because he stole my boyfriend" will make him sound any less like a nutter than insisting his talent came from magical intervention... but, well, it's a step in the right direction, isn’t it.)

#WyHeadcanons #the sandman #hob gadling #dreamling #i'm actually usually of the persuasion that hob thinks of shakespeare as something of a kindred spirit #the one other person that he knows has received Dream's blessing #but this option is just too funny to pass up #he doesn't hate shakespeare for a petty reason no sir #he just really genuinely thinks the man's sold his soul to the devil #committed supernatural fraud #whatever you want to call it #he KNOWS this he has PROOF he was THERE #the man's just a hack who caught the eye of a Higher Power! that's all!!!#hob is so frustrated that he can't convince the world of this #he's fundamentally misunderstanding the situation of course but it makes sense from his point of view #dream would probably be quite offended on will's behalf if he ever finds out #and have a long exasperated ramble about the nature of creativity and inspiration and stories and storytellers #'and ANOTHER THING- are you still listening hob gadling- yes good so-'#while hob is sitting there being lowkey smitten and only half paying attention #having already settled on his policy of ongoing shakespeare disdain #but he likes listening to dream having a bit of a passionate rant

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firestorm09890 · 2 months

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“Dear Diary”. Zexion’s Mystery Gear. “A weapon that draws forth its wielder’s personality.” Sleek and cold and gray exterior, decorated only by the symbol of the Organization. A tool with access to more information than a normal book can grant, and capable of holding more secrets than a normal book could store. But then, open it up- the wallpaper is an eyesearing red, so vivid in shade that it leaves afterimages. Something you wouldn't be able to see when the laptop was closed unless you used it for violence.

Mystery Gear weapons are designed for being overanalyzed as symbols. This thing represents Zexion. What’s the red wallpaper imply then, huh? Mr. “Intellectual with no room for feelings”?

#kingdom hearts #358/2 days #zexion #what the fuck!!!! zexion!!!!!#this was supposed to be a post making fun of his desktop wallpaper and speculating on what his applications are #but i got sidetracked #sighing tragically because i love the interpretation of him where he really is cold and unfeeling at all times #but between this and his reactions to losses in days multiplayer i think that just can’t be true #right before his death in chain of memories too but there he’s actually regrowing a heart so it’s a little different #and the way he acts in combat in every game- he lets loose and gets unhinged #he's so... what's wrong with him....#this is it i have to incorporate 'zexion/ienzo's most common emotion through all incarnations is frustration' into my belief system now #also his mystery gear is the only one to have nobody iconography in it which i of course am taking as further evidence of my beliefs #me post

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the-obnoxious-sibling · 5 months

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You are truly fascinating person. You look at OP so differently than most Reddit or Tumblr fans I encountered. There were two types of usual consensus I noticed about 1082.

1. Shanks is 100% correct and Buggy was just being idiotic with his idea. It’s good he left.

2. Poor Buggy, I hope they will be besties again. I’m sure Shanks would understand him and be so sad about what happened.

You are so fresh in your takes. I love it.

thank you, that’s so kind of you to say!

i try to be thoughtful about what we know about these characters—their thoughts and feelings, the things we as readers know they know, the things we know they don’t know, and the great big void of unknown unknowns (things they might know that we don’t know about, things we don’t know that they also don’t know, etc.). i hope it helps me to look at conflicts between characters with less bias.

(…though it would help if we got even half as much insight into shanks’ thoughts as buggy’s. i sometimes think we’ve seen more of buggy’s thoughts than shanks’ spoken words.)

#those common opinions you’ve seen are so interesting to me! i think both of them get it about halfway right. (imo of course)#like. of course 15yo shanks and buggy going straight to LT is a bad move.#but is that what buggy was even asking?? i think he just wanted confirmation that LT was their shared dream #shanks’ childhood dream was to travel and occasionally do some piracy… next to buggy’s impatient treasure-hunger that must seem so slow #he wants concrete goals! what’s your five year plan shanks?? /jk #and while shanks would be sad to learn why buggy left i do think there would be frustration too #that’s his friend whose dream you belittled! that’s his friend who you’re hurting—for shanks’ sake?! who asked you to do that?!#how can shanks protect a friend from his own self-loathing? especially when any offer of protection is seen as demeaning?#i want them to reconcile but i don’t think it will be easy #not unless a lot changes between now and then #asked and answered #one piece #shuggy #shanks #buggy #*the shuggy roguetown breakup #*shuggy reconciliation

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psychopomparia · 4 months

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Forgot to mention I had a dream about Dr. Ratio last night that was on brand of him.

I dreamt he locked himself from being free for me unless I solved 10 statistics problems correctly. (Context: I took business statistics last semester and did okay).

He kept telling me to “use my brain”, “surely, you have the capabilities to solve these problems on your own,” and “ten points, try again. Drill the concepts into your head. Think.”

Then I woke up.

#Ari rambles #hsr Dr ratio #dr ratio #Honkai Star rail #I was so annoyed with him in my dream #of course he would test me on my hardest subject from last semester #why not give me intermediate macro Econ too huh?#I hate him <3 /lovingly #I woke up frustrated too lmao

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zukkaoru · 3 months

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me peppering kunichuuzai crumbs in every fic for the six people out there who also love them. it ain't much but it's honest work

#it really was just going to be background skk this time #but then kunikida was in the room too and kunichuuzai is just the natural course for them to take #anyway now they're sparring and chuuya is having a GREAT time while kunikida is getting increasingly frustrated #and dazai is watching; very unsure who he's more attracted to #hello grace here

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worstloki · 1 year

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Why don't we talk about the fact that Thor lets Loki hit him so often. If we don't take Thor 1 into consideration, In tdw too that deceiving Malekeith plan they made had so much of Loki hitting Thor on the face and what not. Would like to know your thots

Thor's into that

#those are my thots #but honestly I feel like both the brothers Get that when the other is angry he WILL lash out and they kinda #consider it their responsibility to Manage it #so like if Loki's out of it and Thor thinks it'll help to get beat up i think Thor would let it happen #and vice versa too if Thor was ever out to do anything outlandish Loki would rather take blame or get yelled at etc.#I feel like neither brother wants to hurt the other but Loki puts more effort into making it seem like he wants to kill Thor #because he wants Thor to react the same way and do it #he wants to coax Thor into an actual fight which he does not think he could win #neither of themselves value their wellbeing enough to think it's not worth it to take out frustration on the other #and Thor's vast misunderstanding that Something Minor And Fixable With A Few Words Is Wrong with Loki in Thor 1 and Avengers 1 #does not help #in TDW I feel like the plan Thor came up with was to convince Malekith that Loki was against them #and Thor expected a light beating and illusionwork to make it look that way #while Loki was there like oh no we're going to be CONVINCING #and then proceeded to kick Thor in the face #Thor of course was not able to object to that turn of events and Loki was happy the ploy worked #and he got to throw Thor around a little #consensually

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lgbtlunaverse · 10 months

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Could someone tell me where the interpretation that, in book canon, the promotion Nie Mingjue gives Meng Yao made Meng Yao's life worse than it was before, came from?

I have seen that claim made multiple times now and I've looked at the text over and over trying to see where the basis for it is and I. Can't find it? Don't get me wrong, it absolutely spells out that it does not and cannot fix everything for Meng Yao, but the idea that it was actively bad for him?

Lacking other evidence, I kind of have to assume that it comes from cql canon being sort of projected backwards onto book canon. In cql canon, meng yao is suffering active and explicit bullying and abuse from the captain while under the nie, and does so because the capain believes he has risen above his station via nmj's promotion of him. (In book canon this... isn't happening. It happens with the captain in Langya instead) However, in cql canon he has also been with the nie for years and is openly close to both Nie Mingjue and Nie Huasiang, whereas in book canon he has only been working with nie mingjue for a few months (though has, in that time, apparently become close enough to him for Lan Xichen to explicitly state Meng Yao is able to calm nmj down in ways no one else can? Ofc he does this... Right after that stops being true. But. Food for thought. Not what this post is about tho.) So, if you project the much more explicit abuse from the nie sect captain in cql back on novel jgy who has a presumably much less stable position in the sect overall you get... a meng yao for whom the promotion only means a bigger target on his back and virtually no protection from nmj, who we must assume he can't trust to talk to his about because he never mentions it. (This also explicitly violates book canon when it comes to meng yao's general behaviour, we'll talk about that in a sec)

And look. We all do frankencanon in this house. I get it. And for fanfiction that is very fun. But for a serious reading of the character, his situation, and the actions that lead from that this... doesn't make much sense, in my opinion.

So. Why is that? Why did I say this was out of character for the novel? Because Meng yao spoke up about the jin captain mistreating him. Multiple times! It's just that none of it mattered because no one cared to listen to him. This is a pretty important line for his character because it flatly shows that meng yao is not and has never seen murder as something trivial. He's not trigger happy. He will only do it if he sees no other way out that doesn't end in himself being seriously harmed. (Whether he's right or justified in these cases is not the point of this post.)

If anything remotely similar was happening in the Nie sect, he would have said so. Cql Meng Yao doesn't do this because cql Meng Yao is a different character, and also the plot wouldn't work if he did. Cql Nie Mingjue, by extension, comes off as a fundamentally less trustworthy figure in cql Meng Yao's life because apparently for whatever reason, he cannot be trusted with the information that the deputy he has already publicly defended is still being harassed, and doesn't notice even when it is really blatant. The assumtpion the audience is given is that, like a middle schooler getting the principal involved when being bullied, it would only make the harassment more viscious.

This... actually has a somewhat solid basis in the book. Because after nmj yells at the bullies in question Wei Wuxian says this.

And it is important to keep in mind that this is Wei Wuxian saying this. Not Meng Yao, not an omniscient narrator. Wei wuxian is drawing on his own experiences, likely from the Jiang family, to conclude that if someone is angry at you and thwarted by someone defending you, this generally does not make them less angry at you.

This is leaving out two crucial things, though.

Firstly, this worry isn't about the promotion at all.

The promotion hasn't even been brought up. In the novel it doesn't ctually happen immediately, it takes another few battles where meng yao continues to do his job well and nie mingjue continues praising him for him to eventually go "yeah, you deserve a raise."

This is another aspect that is being projected from cql canon onto book canon I presume, because it does happen quite quickly there, and it's a throwaway line in the books so it's easy to miss. I can't be mad about anyone forgetting the difference, but it is important to mention for this particular analysis.

Which is the second point: change in status

Wei Wuxian couldn't exactly change status within the Jiang family. (And if he could, that would just fuel rumours that he was jfm's bastard even more and make madam yu even angrier at him, etc etc.)

This isn't comparable to Meng Yao. The worry Wei Wuxian is talking about is explitly about Nie Mingjue's initial very loud defense of him. Before he has any idea Nie Mingjue is going to promote him.

Promoting him would likely decrease his chances of cultivators coming after him because now he was in a higher standing in the sect than they were. If applied to that earlier metaphor of middle school bullying it's like if the bullied kid suddenly got hired as a teacher. Which. Doesn't work with the metaphor at all. Touché. But what I am trying to say is that any payback they would have planned for him relied on the fact that they could make sure that Nie Mingjue wasn't going to be within very convenient earshot a second time, and as a random disciple Meng Yao couldn't just go complain to him every time.

But as his right hand man? Who spends most of his time working directly alongside him? Lmao. Good luck. Oh, sure, it is very likely that they feel offended a son of a whore has been raised in status above them, and many will continue to do so as jgy rises through cultivation society (in fact, Wei Wuxian's observations are absolutely on point for how Madam Jin will be treating jgy later on). But as we can also see from the way jgy is treated and how he treats others throughout the story: you can be upset all you want, but if that person is higher than you in status there's jack shit you can do about it.

If I am correct and Wei Wuxian is basing this on his experiences with the Jiang family, it makes sense why he'd miss this. Madam Yu gets to be way angrier at Jiang Fengmian as his wife than some random disciples can be at Nie Mingjue. Insulting Meng Yao, suggesting that he didn't deserve his promotion or that he earned it through less than proper means (you know who is mother is) is also an insult to Nie Mingjue and the way he chooses to run his sect. They can't do that.

Another thing I see brought up in this regard would be the tea scene. There may be no explicit harassment like in the show, but cultivators still don't respect him! The disrespect is just quieter and more subtle.

Tiny detail: these are actually not Nie cultivators

They're cultivators Lan Xichen is escorting with him, making a pitstop in heijan.

The book confirms this by basically outright stating that this is the first time they see his face, and recognize him as Jin Guangshan's bastard son.

Now, just because there is no proof that it happened doesn't mean it definitely never happened. Mdzs is a novel that often leaves stuff out or up to interpretation. Similar stuff to the tea situtation could very well be happening in the background. But I do think it is pretty significant that there is no mention whatsoever of Meng Yao having any negative treatment from Nie cultivators betwen him and Nie Mingjue meeting and him executing them while spying for Wen Ruohan, and the most we get is Wei Wuxian's personal speculation, after which he immediately goes to wax poetic about how surprised he is that Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue are getting along super well.

And, again, novel Meng Yao would have said something. He doesn't say anything about the tea scene. - Or? Does he? Notably 3zun have some very long in depth conversations that Wei Wuxian zones out from because he's busy thinking about Lan Zhan again. But let's not rely on what-ifs. Let's say that neither he nor Lan Xichen find it worth bringing up. Major reasons for that would be that a) these are not nie cultivators, nie mingjue wouldn't really have the authority to scold them. Especially because b) it's such a subtle offense it could easily be handwaved as coincidence. "They just always brush their cups clean like that!! It's wartime you know, and they were traveling! They're used to drinking from vessels that aren't thoroughly washed everytime! It's just a habit!" And would therefore not be worth reporting.

But anything worse than that? A "price tens or hundreds of times greater" like wwx mentions? He'd report it! I do understand that "well if it was happening why didn't he say something?" would, in real life, be victim blaming. This is not real life, and I am not talking about this in a matter of blame. If Meng Yao was being mistreated in the Nie and stayed silent about it, it would still not be his fault. I am talking about this in a manner of character consistency.

His admission of seeking help in the Jin sect shows that at that time and prior to it (a very good argument can be made that he loses faith in this idea) he believes that if he is being mistreated and someone with the authority to say something about it takes his side, things can improve. If Nie Mingjue standing up for him in Qinghe only made things worse, he would not have tried to ask for help in an even more hostile environment. You can call Meng Yao many things, but naïve isn't one of them.

Meng yao's later habit of completely isolating himself and lying to everyone around him comes from the fact that revealing his suffering would mean explaining several horrible things he's become complicit in and he does not feel safe admitting to that. But he's done nothing wrong here!

The reading where he says nothing would imply an either correct or incorrect belief in Meng Yao's eyes that Nie Mingjue did not much care for his wellbeing or safety. Oh sure he defended him once but doing so again multiple times would be such a bother. This also contradicts his later behaviour, where he banks solely on Nie Mingjue's protective instincts to seal his qi and escape during the confrontation in Langya. After having been caught murdering a man, he is still convinced Nie Mingjue will immediately try to help him when he is in serious danger.

And even if you very badly want to characterize Nie Mingjue as a blundering idiot who is apparently less trustworthy in Meng Yao's eyes than the jin cultivators who had already resoundly rejected him by the time he tries to ask for help with the langya captain. He doesn't say anything to Xichen either! Lan Xichen, who has explicitly and exhaustively been portrayed as kind and understanding to Meng Yao's circumstances and very willing to talk to Mingjue if Meng Yao wants something from him he doesn't otherwise think he'd get. The conversation Mingjue overhears where Meng Yao's new position in the Nie is explictly brought up would be kind of the perfect time to go "yeah I've been promoted but I'm not treated well by other soldiers" aaaand. Nothing. So unless you come to the conclusion that Meng Yao trusted the Jin he told about the captain's abuse more than Lan Xichen you kind of have to conclude that Meng Yao's treatment after his promotion improved significantly. And that even if people still disliked him they could not openly do anything about it because he was high enough in status for that to be socially inappropiate. Which is, explicitly, one of his main motivators over the entire course of the story: Avoiding mistreatment by getting high enough on the social ladder it doesn't matter what people think of him, they can't hurt him.

And I'm not sure how to reconcile that character journey with the idea that he would, at any point, have preferred to keep his head down and stay where he was. When he was so desperate to crawl his way out.

#the main tragedy of his character- of course- being that he keeps achieving that status and it is never enough #he achieves standing with the nie and the favor of a major sect leader and it's not enough for his father to even give him the time of day #he kills wrh amd becomes a war hero and gets acknowledged by his father!!#and all it gets him is nmj's constant distrust abuse at the hands of his stepmother and complicity in mass murder by his father's orders #he gets to the HIGHEST POSITION SOCIETY HAS. LITERAL CHIEF CULTIVATOR. And the moment he stumbles everyone turns on him immediately #like they were all just waiting for him to get low enough again that they could kick him further down #it's a rise-fall-rise-fall-rise-fall journey with every step up being a desperate fight and every tumble down being way too quick and easy #but! that rise still needs to be there!! for the story to work!!#the tragedy of qinghe for meng yao is how easily he loses nmj's fsvor. NOT that having it was bad in the first place #I understand that this reading is mainly done to put nmj in a bad light but I do genuinely think it does jgy a disservice #people more often apply this to him becoming jin guangyao which does in a lot of ways doom and trap him #and yes fuck jgs fuck that guy all the way to hell #but the key is that meng yao can't just get a happy ending by refusing power #he's not power hungry. what he wants is in fact reasonable- he's just willing to do a lot more than most to get it #'things would've been better if nmj didn't promote him/didn't send him to langya'#feels as reductive to me as the 'why can't he just be xichen's house boyfriend and join the lan instead' takes.#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #mdzs meta #? sorta #feels too ranty to call meta #this is what i was talking about in my past post about how frustrating it is to base metas around disagreeing with others #makes analysis feel like discourse when that is NOT what i am trying to do #long post with long tags

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theheadlessgroom · 7 months

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@beatingheart-bride

"Sounds like Dorian alright," Randall chuckled; even as a boy, his best friend seemed to take any and all opportunities he found to try and throw a party, and although these attempts didn't always pan out, he still tried. Even as a child, Randall knew it wasn't because Dorian enjoyed being the center of these parties (unlike what some suspected), it was simply because he wanted everyone to have a good time drinking, dancing, playing party games, and just overall having fun, and that especially went for Randall, who got to enjoy some of these lavish get-togethers through Dorian, who always insisted his best friend and his mother get to join in.

(And who knew-maybe that'd still be the case once they made it to California; Dorian throwing parties. They'd probably be scaled down from the wildly over-the-tip ones held at Gracey Manor, of course, but he could see his dear friend still putting quite a few on for even the most minute of celebrations.)

"I wish I could see these dresses too," he smiled, brightening at the idea of making him and Emily matching outfits, and especially giving his all when it came to his bride's dresses; he'd never do anything by half when it came to her. It was a shame she couldn't have brought them back with her from the future, he really would've liked to see them (and see if he'd any gotten better post-mortem-Lord knew he had all the time in the world to practice and improve!)

"Did you, uh, have a favorite that I made, for a particular party, I mean?"

#((i don't agree with it either; it totally feels like a HUGE cop-out! monsters deserve love and happiness too))#((and it shouldn't have to come at the cost of them either a) dying or b) becoming human!))#((and they really are oftentimes a lot more interesting/engaging than the human cast!))#((that's why the third 'black lagoon' movie; 'the creature walks among us' INFURIATED me as a kid))#((because the gill-man is my favorite monster; and the original 'black lagoon' is my favorite horror movie!))#((but then the sequel has scientists take away his gills; reducing him to looking like an ugly piece of wax))#((robbing him of his uniqueness and that gorgeous makeup design by millicent patrick!))#((he's still sympathetic of course but every other character around is as flat as cardboard))#((and the whole plot of them trying to make him more human is stupid and frustrating!))#((plus he dies in the end; unless he can regrow his gills; he drowns at sea since they removed both his gills))#((and the second set of lungs he has that allows him to breathe underwater! it's SO stupid and annoying!))#((let my favorite fish man live happily ever after with a nice girl back in his lagoon!))#((sorry for that wall of text; i just have a LOT of feelings about monsters being happy))#((and still being allowed to be monsters!))#outofhatboxes #beatingheart-bride #V:Days of Future Past

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lauranthalasah · 9 months

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Orym had to tell Keyleth about Imogen... he had!

The only other option he had was to tell her in secret, but he chose open honesty.

Notice he didn't say anything at first when Liliana was mentioned, but then Imogen starts talking about maybe Liliana saving them IN FRONT of Keyleth... and Keyleth was watching! (Matt did that check that Liam and Marisha clocked) Now, maybe Imogen was just stating a doubt (she might even be right) but Keyleth has no context for this and she could think Imogen was making excuses for Liliana.

Orym has known Keyleth all his life, she has always been just. Unless Imogen does something to betray them, he has no reason to fear for her, and all the reason to tell the truth, explain the situation, and vouch for Imogen in Keyleth's eyes... which would help to maintain the trust Keyleth has on him.

Look at the table at that moment, no one was surprised. Laura thought Liam was gonna talk about Vax instead of Imogen's connection with Liliana, but she was not surprised by Orym sharing that information.

Right afterward he does that, we find out Keyleth was suspecting already. Orym made the right move! The smart one! He, and Bell's Hells too, can't afford misstrust from their allies! At that moment, the best option was honesty.

The only alternative was Imogen explaining on her own, but she suggested to Orym a change of theme instead of coming clean, the chance was right there, and she didn't take it. Orym hasn't talked with Imogen since their reunion. Before the fight with Ludinus, Fearne and him were planning what to do in case Imogen got tempted by her mother and Ruidus and all that. Let's be honest, Imogen herself has admitted she has felt tempted by the power, and we don't know how much control she has over all of this... Orym has reasons to be concerned, and Imogen trying to change the topic of the conversation instead of saying what it's kinda obvious (she and Liliana look alike), don't assure those concerns, hid best move... in every direction, was to be honest. Putting all the cards in the table.

Keyleth tells Orym what to do in case of betrayal in front of the whole group, so everyone knows where everyone stands. Like, if Imogen has no intentions of betraying them, then she has nothing to fear at all. If she has that intention, she now knows that she'll have to fight everyone else except maybe for Laudna (if she attacks Orym, she'll have to fight Fearne, if she attacks Fearne she'll have to fight Chet and Ashton, is she attacks Ashton and go against the gods she'll have to fight FGC*), and I say "maybe Laudna" because I've noticed a trend of them been tempted by power and the darkness on their own... but not wanting that path for the other, in fact Imogen made an interesting change the time they were apart, she is the one trying to fight the temptation now and keeping herself and Laudna away from the darker path.

* I know that maybe others would jump to protect Orym and start this domino, but the one person I have no doubts it would do it, is Fearne.

#critical role spoilers #bells hells #Orym #i know that some are going to assume my posts are only cause Orym is my favorite #but to be honest... I'm starting to get frustrated over how the people “defending” Imogen (and Laudna with the Bor'Dor shit)#they are taking away their agency!#Imogen and Laudna decided to do the things that made other people take decisions of their own #Imogen starts kinda maybe trying to defend Liliana in front of the leader of Orym!#of course he had to come clean!!#Laudna does not regret killing Bor'Dor!#she regrets the prize she might have to pay for doing that the way she did!#Orym and Ashton were... and are... perfectly ok with Bor'Dor's death #Liam said Orym would have done it if Laudna hadn't gotten to him first #I think both of them also regret what is costing Laudna #but to be fair... they respected her choices then and now too #these two women are adults and capable #they have a right to make the choices they want to make #but every single character has to deal with the consequences #like... Imogen is compromised... SHE IS!#the same way Orym is!#he has admitted he can not be objective about the philosophical discussion #these people killed his family #he doesn't care if they have a point... he is gonna killed them if he can #by admitting to this he allows the rest to know that they will need A LOT to change his mind... which may never happen #I think Imogen has changed a lot in their time apart #i think the only thing remaining in her is a hope that her mother could/would choose her (understandable)#and a slight temptation over power... that she is fully seeing as dangerous and wrong now #Imogen and Laudna are far more interesting characters than some people made them by making them victims at every single turn!

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