#obey me joke
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Lucifer: "Mc, why is my name 'Lion' in your contact info from your D.D.D.?"
Mc: "Well, this may sound dumb, but a group of lions is called a 'pride'. So I thought it fit you perferctly!"
Lucifer: "Haha, alright then. I will accept this."
Asmodeos: "But why am I called 'Hummingbird' in your contacts? Is it because I make your heart race as fast as one? Hehe~♡"
Mc: "Haha, No, Asmo. It's because a group of hummingbirds is called a 'Charm'."
Asmo: "Oh, I see! How cute!♡"
...
Belphie: "...Why am I called 'Crow' in your phone?"
Mc: "It....just suited you!" *Sweats profusely*
#obey me#obey me Mc#Obey me Lucifer#Obey me Belphie#Obey me Belphagore#Obey me joke#i write for you#writing for you#Nothing better to do with my time#I hope this is enough tags#Obey me Asmodeus#Obey me asmo
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Asmo: Breathe if you admit your love for MC or recite the bible in Japanese if you wont
Mammon, holding his breath: 初めに、神は天と地を創造されました。そして地球は形がなく、空っぽでした。そして闇が深淵の面にあった。そして、神の霊が水の面を動いた。....
Asmo:
Asmo: Is that actually Japanese??
Levi: I can confirm that this in fact, is Japanese
Asmo: WHEN DID HE LEARN JAPANESE??
#obey me#obey me incorrect quotes#obey me shall we date#obey me quotes#omsd#obey me thoughts#obey me asmo#obey me mammon#obey me levi x reader#obey me ideas#obey me shitpost#obey me drabble#obey me ficlet#obey me humor#obey me joke#obey me leviathan#obey me x mc#obey me crack#obey me chaos#obey me nonsense#obey me main character
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Hello human I've heard you plan on going on a mission can I join you? I will keep it a secret from lucifer don't worry ;>
#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me mc#obey me lucifer#obey me karasu#karasuyourbestie#obey me joke
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in every new game, there's a jumin han waiting to be discovered...
(malleus is just happy he finally got invited to something)
#twst is not an otome!!!#ngl i kinda only added malleus bc i needed one more 'serious' character to complete it lol#i don't play enough games to know another character#honorary love interest fr (he's close enough)#this is all for jokes btw lmao#mystic messenger#obey me#lovebrush chronicles#for all time#tears of themis#mr. love queen's choice#love and deepspace#jumin han#lucifer obey me#lucien#malleus draconia#clarence clayden#zayne
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Mc: Okay, whoever sits in this chair is gonna marry me!
All the brothers; ... *start fighting*
Mammon: THAT CHAIR IS MINE!!
Leviathan: NO WAY I'M GONNA LET YOU TOUCH IT!!
Asmodeus: *making his way to sit*
Lucifer: *grab the chair and makes him fall on the ground*
Mc: ...
Luke: haha look how hard are they fighting!
Mc: yeah- *the chair fall right back in front of them* ...oh-
The brothers doesn't get aware and keep fighting over the nothing:
Mc: ...
Diavolo: ..welp *jumps sit on the- fall down on the ground*
Barbatos: *silent gasp*
Simeon: *sit and cross his legs, with a tender smile* I apologize
Diavolo: ...
Barbatos: ...
The brothers: ...
Luke: ...
Mc: ...well I am not sad of the outcome!
#lucifer obey me#mammon#obey me#obey me funny#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me x mc#obey me x reader#obey me x you#solomon#obey me jokes#obey me simeon#simeon#diavolo#lord diavolo obey me#lord diavolo#obey me barbatos#barbatos#|ObeyMeJokes|
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what?
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me mammon#obey me mc#my art#myst1c/ messenger gave me this idea lol#the way i couldnt stop drawing this until it was complete#a dumb joke will always keep me motivated#comic
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Do you want that list to be in alphabetical or in chronological order
#half joking but also#how about calling mc a 'good child' & then kissing them right after like wtf was that about#luci's pact making scenes in both games will forever be Questionable#obey me#obey me lucifer
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MC:*Knocking on Asmo's bedroom door* Are you decent?
Asmo: Not morally no, but I'm wearing pants if that's what you're asking.
#this joke won’t leave my head so here lmao#source: tumblr#obey me!#obey me#om!#obmswd#obey me shitpost#obey me shenanigans#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#obey me asmo x mc#obey me mc#obey me crack#obey me crack shit#obmswd asmo#obmswd mc#obmswd shitpost#obmswd crack#obey me incorrect#obey me incorrect quotes#obey me! asmodeus#obey me! mc#om! asmo#om! asmodeus#om! mc#om! incorrect quotes#om! shitpost#obey me? shall we date!#ro’s dumb stuff tag
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can we make belphebatos a thing /hj
based on these chat screenshots which i got from here!!!! thank you op <3
#obey me#shitpost#obey me art#obey me nightbringer#belphegor#barbatos#belphebatos#belphegor x barbatos#barbatos x belphegor#this is mostly a joke but i think it would be funny#hashtag ironic i square#i dont really ship any om ships outside vaguely liking solodeus so this is hilarious to me
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This is Leviathan and MC. Argue with the wall lol.
#obey me: one master to rule them all#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me x reader#obey me x mc#obey me leviathan#obey me levi x reader#obey me levi x mc#obey me levi#om leviathan#obey me mc#jokes
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Mc didn't saved the three worlds with the power of love and friendship but yes by the power of being horny
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People like to water down Lucifer to a sadistic daddy dom and I’m here to say that he is literally the opposite. So here’s a few headcanons of dad Lucifer™️
Definitely has the dad stance, you know the one with the arms crossed over the chest and legs shoulder width apart.
Can’t forget the iconic look down at the watch and the full body sigh.
Acts like those dads you see in Home Depot.
He definitely cuts the grass around the House of Lamentation and will tell MC about his vast knowledge of gardening and lawn care.
It’s canon that he wears glasses but I hc that MC got him a really nice case for his glasses at Christmas one year and he always carries it on him. He would definitely flaunt it off to Diavolo and Barbatos.
His joints definitely creak when he gets up from sitting for a while.
Will stand by a window and just stare outside for a bit.
Definitely barges into his brothers rooms and says “Are ya winning son?”
Definitely falls asleep when he’s watching tv or a film with his brothers and if someone tries to change the channel or turn the tv off, he suddenly wakes up and claims he was watching that.
I have a whole lot more so I might do a part 2.
#obey me nightbringer#obey me!#obey me#obmswd#obey me shall we date#om!#om! lucifer#om! luci#obey me lucifer#obmswd lucifer#shall we date lucifer#lucifer#obey me lucifer headcanons#this is literally canon#lucifer would tell dad jokes#he is definitely a home depot dad#obey me headcanons#obmswd lucifer headcanons
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MC, having gone back in time in Nightbringer: Okay MC, remain calm, remember the advice Barbatos gave to you on your wedding day…
Flashback Barbatos: If you ever go back in time, DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING.
#God I love that episode of the Simpsons so much#I had the jokes memorized when I was fourteen#obey me#obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date#obey me mc#obey me Barbatos#obey me nightbringer#obey me incorrect quotes#obey me! incorrect quotes#source: the simpsons
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Classmate in university: *after a whole speech* And this is why I don't believe in Heaven and Hell.
Mc: ...
D.D.D: *rings*
Mc:
D.D.D: *the call automatically starts* Oi, MC! You better get your ass over here right now! That so-called Avatar of Pride is bawling his eyes out 'cause he's missin' ya! I can't handle this anymore, dammit! Hurry up and fix this mess!
Mc: ... *slowly grabs phone* uhm.. Mammon. I am at school-
Mammon: Yeah I know but he's sobbin' like a crybaby!
*In background there could be heard Lucifer who screams his name. He's probably blaming Lucifer when he has been the one in that situation*
Mc: . . . *sigh* Alright, I'll be there in 5 minutes
Classmate: ...
Mc: ...ah, sorry. I must go.. duty calls me *runs out the classroom*
Classmate: ....did he talk about one of the seven deadly sins....-
#obey me#obey me x reader#lucifer obey me#mammon#obey me funny#obey me lucifer#obey me x mc#obey me mammon#obey me x you#solomon#obey me jokes#|ObeyMeJokes|
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[On the phone]
Lucifer: What do you want, Satan?
Satan: Lucifer, listen, we may have our differences but I care about you and you deserve to know the truth
Lucifer:
Satan: I don’t know how to tell you this but… Diavolo is cheating on you
Lucifer: What?
Satan: Yeah. I’m at the grocery store right now and he’s here too. And he’s flirting with a succubus and being all touchy with her
Lucifer:
Lucifer: *Staring at Diavolo (who is on top of him)* Is that so?
Satan: Yes! If I were you, I would immediately file for divorce
Lucifer:
#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me dialuci#dialuci#lucifer x diavolo#diavolo x lucifer#obey me diavolo#obey me lucifer#obey me satan#obey me brothers#Satan has gotten tired of the step-dad/son jokes#and yes Diavolo and Lucifer were getting quite busy#until Satan interrupted
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How to prank your siblings
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