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#obey me! incorrect quotes
mammonswhore · 7 months
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Mammon: *with a walkie talkie following Belphie* The cow is out of the farm I repeat the cow is...
Belphie: *Taking the walkie talkie* THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?
MC: *on the other side of walkie talkie* I am scared of you so Mammon keeps me updated to know if I leave my room or not
Belphie: I am not going to hurt you
MC: bitch you said the same and killed me I ain't risking it again
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absolutepokemontrash · 7 months
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MC: Lucifer, Solomon asked to marry me.
Lucifer: The poor man. He shall recover.
MC: I said yes.
Lucifer: No.
MC: Yes!
Lucifer: No.
MC: I wasn’t asking!
Lucifer: And neither am I.
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treasureofmammon · 28 days
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🔥 For "scientific purposes" 🔥
Minors don't interact (MDNI), Suggestive.
👥️Characters: Lucifer x gn!reader, Mammon x gn!reader, Leviathan x gn!reader, Satan x gn!reader, Asmodeus x gn!reader, Beelzebub x gn!reader, Belphegor x gn!reader.
⚠️Warnings: MDNI, smut-ish, Suggestive.
📝 Note: After looking at some official artworks that make me go 🥵 for each brother, I thought: how would each of them react if you asked him to take his shirt off to touch his abs for "scientific purposes". Lol.
✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️
💜 Belphie 💜
Belphie:
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MC: ... Please take off your shirt and let me feel your abs.
Belphie: Wh-What? Why?
MC: ... It's for scientific purposes! I promise! (It isn't). I just want to understand demons' anatomy better!
Belphie, blushing and a little confused, but taking his shirt off nonetheless: I mean, if it helps (?)
❤️ Beel ❤️
Beel:
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MC: ... Please take off your shirt and let me feel your abs. I- I swear, it's for scientific purposes (no, it's not), you see, for anatomy class-
Beel immediately takes his shirt off, blushing a little but not even questioning you: O-Okay.
🩷 Asmo 🩷
Asmo:
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MC: ... Please take off your shirt and let me feel your abs. I- It's for scientific purposes (no, it's not) since we are studying demons' anatomy, I thought-
Asmo knows exactly what you're doing. With lustful eyes, he doesn't let you finish and, while taking his shirt off, he answers: Of course, hon! Anything to help you study.
💚 Tan 💚
Satan:
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MC: ... Please take off your shirt and let me feel your abs.
Satan: Wh-What are you saying?!
MC: D-Didn't you want to help me study? How can I understand demons' anatomy without actually interacting from up close with one? (You lier!)
Satan might be blushing, but he doesn't waste the opportunity. While taking his shirt off, he rambles: F-fine. As your tutor, I must make sure that you actually understand the assignments perfectly. Interacting with the specimen like this, in this case: a demon, might be beneficial. In fact, in the XIX century, human scholars (...).
🧡 Levi 🧡
Levi:
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MC: ... Please take off your shirt and let me feel your abs.
Levi: Wh-WhAT?! EH? WhAt Did yOu jUsT sssAY?! I-
MC: What? Did I say that outloud?! I- I mean..., I wouldn't mind if you don't mind. It's for scientific purposes! (Lier! It isn't!). You know how in anatomy class-
Levi, taking his shirt off: F-fine... But I'm just a yucky otaku, you know. Are you ok with this?
(We were the ones who asked, Levi)
💛 Mamms 💛
Mammon:
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MC: ... Please take off your shirt and let me feel your abs.
Mammon: HUH?! WH-WHAT? WHAT ARE YA-
MC: Pretty please! If you don't help me, who will? I mean, think about it! How am I, a human, supposed to understand demons' anatomy otherwise! It's for scientific purposes, I promise! (you spectacular lier!)
Mammon, red as a tomatoe, maybe even shaking while taking his shirt off: F-fine human. But doncha take this da wrong way!
💙 Luci 💙
Lucifer:
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MC: ... Please take off your shirt and let me feel your abs.
Lucifer doesn't even ask if he listened correctly. He knows what he heard. So he takes off his shirt and walks to you: Fine, my little sheep. Otherwise, how will you understand demons' anatomy. It's for scientific purposes only, right?— he moves your hands to his torso, with a devilish smile on his face.
✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️
[Notes: The character(s) depicted here belong to the mobile game "Obey me: shall we date" and are owned by Solmare Corporation. The text here was made by me: Treasure of Mammon, meaning this is fan-made. | GN!Reader | English is not my first language, so there might be orthographic and syntax errors. I urge you all to interact kindly with this post].
📌 Masterlist
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l3viat8an · 10 months
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MC: Did you steal one of the neighbour’s garden gnomes again? They’ve been standing out there glaring at them suspiciously for the past 30 minutes.
Satan: Nah, I got bored of that months ago. I’ve actually been adding new ones to their collection every few days for a couple of weeks now. I was wondering how long it would take them to figure it out.
MC:….You’re a menace to society.
Satan:*Smiling* Thank you. I try.
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natstablook29 · 6 months
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Solomon texting MC: *sends a picture of a terrarium* Hey, I bought this because it reminded me of you. Should I shrink you so you can fit inside it?
MC replying seconds later: Are you finding excuses to trap me?
Solomon: Haha, noooo, I'm just kidding. I'd never do such a thing.
Solomon: ...unless?
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camembrie · 5 months
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If I were MC, I would just constantly bring upthe stupid shit Solomon is known for. None of that "wise king Solomon" crap. I'm talking
Asmodues: The yellow really clashes with my nails, but the dress is so perfect! I just don't know what to do!
Solomon: You could always repaint your nails
MC: Ah the wise king Solomon, here to deliver wisdom
Solomon, flattered: Why thank you–
MC: Not in this case though, in this case you're the foolish one. Move bitch
-
Mammon: I just don't know what to do! She's not compromising with me on this whole thing
Solomon: You could always try to–
MC: You tried to slice a baby in half, you don't get a say in this
-
*On the topic of relationships*
Solomon: Well in my experience–
MC: You're a has-been, no one cares you managed to have a thousand wives when all of them are dead
Solomon: I atleast had a thousand wives
MC: Yeah, in biblical times. Women then still thought a slap was a form of love
Solomon: Well I don't see your–
MC: I have the seven lords of hell, the prince of hell, an angel, and the grim reaper simping for me. Your thousand wives are nothing because my simps have standards
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bite-sized-devil · 2 years
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*MC and Satan beating the shit out of a vending machine*
Mammon: "What are you two doing?"
MC: *pouting* "It took my mon-!"
Mammon: "Say no more" *joins in*
Satan: "Oh is that why? I thought we were pretending it was Lucifer"
MC & Mammon: *stop and look at each other*
MC and Mammon: *shrugs*
MC, Mammon & Satan: *continue smashing*
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Mammon: Of course you have pink hair and pronouns.
Mc: I’m a fucking SHEEP-
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shiloh-the-human · 10 months
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*MC and Belphie walk through the door*
Lucifer (nonchalantly): "How many people died?"
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hopeluna-archived · 2 years
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Solomon: *breathes*
Lucifer: sus
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grey-eyed-menace · 2 years
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Ayano: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.
___
Belphegor: Something’s off.
Ayano: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Belphegor: No, but that’s funny.
___
Mammon: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around?
Ayano: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.
___
Ayano: Do you think sex without love is a sin?
Kiyoko: If it is, I’ll see you in hell.
___
Lucifer: If you got arrested what would be the charges?
Mammon: Theft.
Asmodeus: Disturbing the peace.
Satan: Aggravated assault.
Belphegor: Arson.
Ayato: All of the above. In that order, probably.
___
Ayank: Hey, @Belphegor, when you wake up you're legally obligated to agree with me.
Belphegor: But I don't.....
Ayano: I don't see why that should be my problem??
___
Belphegor: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Satan.
Belphegor: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.
Belphegor: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.
Satan: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.
Belphegor: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.
Satan: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it.
Belphegor: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.
___
Mammon: Beelzebub, please calm down.
Beelzebub: I asked for two large fries!
Beelzebub: *dumps fries onto table*
Beelzebub: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!
___
Belphegor: You're smiling. What happened?
Ayano: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?
Leviathan: Mephistopheles tripped and fell down the stairs today.
___
Ayano: Are you this rude to everyone?!
Lucifer: Yup.
Lucifer: Don't think you're special.
___
Mammon: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!
Satan: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Mammon: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
Satan: Somehow that's worse.
___
Ayano: Well, has Lucifer been wrong before?
Asmodeus: How wide are we willing to open this up?
___
Luke: You bought a taco?
Ayano: Yes.
Luke: From the same truck that hit Lucifer?!
Ayano, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help them.
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mammonswhore · 9 months
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MC: *wiggling a test in front of Lucifer's face* fuck you!
Lucifer: I see you passed
MC: Damn right I did! And you said I couldn't do it!
Lucifer: *smirking* I know, congrats...
MC: *confused sheep noises*
-later-
MC about to go to sleep: ... OH THAT MOTHERFU-
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absolutepokemontrash · 11 months
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MC: Rich people have such unrelatable problems, like I have this rich friend who’s biggest worry is poor people throwing themselves in front of his car so they can sue him.
MC: And I’m like, Mephisto, no one can relate to this. Like I have *real* problems.
MC: Like how you keep swerving to avoid me.
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treasureofmammon · 3 months
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Lucifer in a bridal dress...
Another silly comic-like illustration, this time of amazing and funny @avatar0fpr1de 's Incorrect quote.
Enjoy!
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Notes ⚠️: This is a fan-made artwork created by me. The character(s) depicted here belong to the mobile game "Obey me: shall we date" and are owned by Solmare Corporation. | I had so much fun doing these ❤️💙 But I apologize if there are some inaccuracies with the characters' design and errors in general in the illustrations.
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anintrovertedechoe · 10 months
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Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk
the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:
MC: it was me.
Lucifer: what.
MC: it was me.
Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????
MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore
Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun
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Mc: Hey, dumb slut, get over here.
Mammon, sighing: Okay-
Asmo: I'm coming!
Mammon, confused: I thought... I was dumb slut...
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