Take me to Neverland (Part 1)

Imagine: Ending up in Neverland and meeting Pan for the first time.

Sometimes I would sit in front of my mirror and just study myself. There was no real rhyme or reason in this, I just did. I studied the way I smiled, how I looked when I scrunched my nose, how I glared, everything. I guess you would think me weird because of this and trust me I do not blame you, but it’s just something I’ve always done. Like today, my sixteenth birthday, I sat in my pink, poofy chair in front of my floor length mirror doing the same thing I’ve done for years. Since midnight I have just been looking in my mirror waiting for some type of change. People say your life will completely change when you turn sixteen, yet I didn’t feel any different and I sure as hell didn’t look any different. I still had the same just past my shoulder length dirty blonde hair that never knew what it really wanted to do because it has always been thick and in between wavy and straight. I always had to either straighten it or wave it because just blowing drying it would leave it in this weird in between stage that I loathed. I still had the same dull, grey-blue eyes and round/square face shape. My friends always told me I had beautiful eyes, but I never believed them. They were lifeless and dull, not like those beautiful girls with sun kissed hazel eyes or piercing blue eyes. To bring them out more I covered both lash lines on the top and bottom with black eye liner and mascara. Huffing I scrunched up my nose and studied my face some more. One thing I can say I was proud of on my face is that I never seemed to get acne. While the rest of my friends suffered through pizza face and having to pound on concealer like it’s nobody’s business, I sat there with peachy smooth, clear skin. The downside was that I always looked a tad younger than everyone else. Today was going to be different, I was going to have some type of change; I needed it. Satisfied with looking in the mirror I stood up and let out a breath. My outfit fit into my regular guidelines: high-waisted blue jean shorts, a black Nirvana tank-top, a red/black/grey flannel wrapped firmly around my waist, grey knee high socks, finishing with worn out black high-top Converse. Walking out into the living room I looked over my shoulder, dad was in his office, as usual, busy working and Kai, my husky, was lounging on the couch.

“Oh, you lazy bum you,” I said dramatically as I jumped on the couch next to Kai. She let out an excited bark and licked my cheek. “Love you too,” I smiled.

“Could you be quiet out there, Lux? I’m a little busy,” dad yelled.  “Yeah,” I mumbled as I hugged Kai.

Oh yeah, by the way my name is Lucy Oakwood, but everyone just calls me Lux. You’re probably wondering where my mom is. No, she didn’t die nor is she suffering from a terminal illness. She’s alive and well; no sob story here. The only sob story is the fact that she’s never here. All she does is work and when she is home she sits there and nags at my dad and I all day. I know I’m not the size 2 you were in high school mom, but for Christ’s sake I don’t need to be reminded of it every time I grab dessert. I’m not that big; I’m only a size 5 and not too short either, 5′5″. For my height and weight I am perfectly healthy and gosh dammit if I want an extra slice of cake I’m going to get it without anyone giving me shit for it, especially my mother. She should be supportive and loving, instead all I get are empty smiles and cold hugs.  

“I’m taking Kai for a walk,” I yelled. Hell, he probably did not even hear me.

“Come on Kai, lets go,” I said sweetly as I walked out the door, Kai following. Kai didn’t need a leash, she was well-behaved enough.

After walking for some time I decided to stop off at the park. It was a Monday, yeah my birthday was on a Monday, but it was during the summer so there was only a couple people out, most of them were out fishing by the river. I, however, was headed near the wooded area to my favorite swing. Kai barked and ran around chasing butterflies as I swung. I expected too much from today. No one could hangout, my two best friends, my only friends were on a family trip up North, my parents were working, and I was sitting on a swing with my dog. Nothing changed whatsoever, if anything I felt emptier that I ever had in my whole entire life. Taking a breath I reached into my purse and pulled out a cigarette and my black BIC lighter. What did I care anymore? It’s not like anyone actually cared about me anyway, they were too busy with their own lives. I lit the cigarette and it burned, like usual, setting my throat on fire. I inhaled deeply then exhaled watching as the smoke plumed up towards the sky. For the first time since I’ve smoked these god awful things I didn’t cough. Continuing smoking I closed my eyes and listened. The sound of children shouting and playing, adults talking amongst themselves and on their phones, dogs barking, bees buzzing around, and the light wind filled my ears. It all sounded happy, peaceful and yet I was sitting here like an empty shell. No one takes the time to talk to a lonely, shy girl who’s no better than a fly on the wall. I was invisible. Don’t get me wrong, I loved solitude. It was nice to be by myself and escape for a little while, but let me tell you one thing, being alone, literally, and feeling alone are two totally different concepts. At least if you are alone, you can change that by calling someone, but feeling alone is the hell I have been in every day of my life. Dusk swept over the sky and I decided it was time to head home.

“Kai, come on girl. Time to go home,” I yelled. She happily ran over and pranced by my side as we headed out of the park.

Something, anything, make something different about today, please. I thought, pleading as I looked up towards the sky. Get me out of this town; take me somewhere where I belong. Tears fell from my eyes before I could catch them, it was too late. I sobbed all the way home. Walking inside my parents were sitting in the living room watching TV. They never wished me a happy birthday.

“Hey Lux,” my mom smiled. “Oh hey, Lux,” said my dad after.

“Hey guys,” I mumbled as I made my way across the living room.

“What’s wrong?” my dad asked. I closed my eyes and turned around. “What is today, dad, the date?” I questioned as I squeezed my eyes shut praying that he would remember.  

He sent me a confused look, “August 2nd.” I opened my eyes and looked at him.

Then it hit him, a look of worry swept across his face. “Oh Lux, I’m so sorry, it’s your birthday.” He got up and went to give me a hug, but I pushed him off.

Tears rimmed my eyes. “Not just any birthday, dad, my sixteenth birthday,” I angrily.

“Lux I-” I cut him off. “No, you no what, just never mind. I don’t care anymore,” I hissed as I turned headed for my room.

“You do not talk to your father like that young lady,” yelled my mom. “Get back here now!”

“Or what mom? You just going to tell me how fat I am or something? What?” I yelled. Her jaw dropped, she was speechless.

“Lux!” my dad exclaimed and before I knew it, my face was met by his hand connecting with my cheek. He hit me, he seriously fucking hit me. I grabbed my cheek wide-eyed and ran to my room, slamming the door behind me. Tears fell freely as I grabbed my black, duffle bag from my closet. I was done; I could not stand this shit anymore. Stuffing what I needed into my bag I looked at Kai. She looked at me with worry in her eyes.

“I am sorry Kai, but I cannot be here anymore. I know there’s a better place somewhere out there for me,” I whispered to her as I rubbed behind her ears. She whined and laid down giving me her big, blue puppy dog eyes. “I know, I’ll miss you too,” I said, tears swelling in my eyes as I leaned down to kiss her head. This was it; I was leaving, for real this time, no turning back. I straightened up and opened my window.

“Bye Kai, I love you,” I said as I swung myself out my window with my bag. Surreptitiously, I walked past the front of my house and down the street. I left them a note telling them why I left and that they should not come for me. Whether they understood or not I was going.

***3 hours later*********

After some time of walking I found myself at the beginning of a nature preserve. There was no way around it and I was not going to turn around now, so taking a breath I started making my way through the wilderness praying that I wouldn’t end up with poison ivy. Or worse, poison oak. The nature preserve seemed to go on forever and my feet were starting to ache when I decided it was time to take a break. Up ahead there was a small stream and to the right was a rather large rock followed by a huge log on the ground beside it. I hopped up on the rock and laid down looking up at the now black sky. Stars scattered the clear sky and the full moon shone brighter than I had ever seen it before.

“I wish to be anywhere but here. Take me away to a place where people like my parents don’t exist. Hell, where no parents exist, so no one can tell me what to do anymore. Take me to a place where I’m free and no longer so lonely. I believe….I believe in a place like this. Please,” I whispered to the night sky. “I believe, I do, I really do believe,” I whispered one last time before I was swept off into a deep sleep.

*****************************************

I am woken up by merciless light causing me to roll over when I realize that I am not on the hard rock I fell asleep on. In a panic my eyes shoot open and I stand up. I was no longer in the middle of a nature reserve next to a stream I was somewhere else. I was on a beach with the calm blue sea to my right and a dense, green forest to my left. I took it all in at once and it was like I couldn’t breathe. My stomach was in knots. Where was I, my thoughts screamed? It was then that I realized I still had my duffle bag. I grabbed it fast; looking through it making sure nothing was stolen. I furrowed my eyebrows when I realized nothing was taken, so if someone took me here why didn’t they take anything?

“Oh fuck,” I whispered to myself aloud as I looked around.

Biting my finger nervously, I slung my bag over my shoulder, dusted myself off and started walking down the beach. There had to be something here…..someone? It seemed like I was walking forever when I saw the end of the beach, there was no where else to go except through the forest, so I took a deep breath and went in.

This place was like a never ending, beautiful hell. There was no one, not a single soul around except for the hum of animals and insects in their natural habitat. How the hell did I end up here? Where the hell was I? My thoughts were screaming at me as I trenched through the forest. I now regretted wearing these shorts and knee-highs. My knee-highs were getting completely destroyed and my thighs were getting mercilessly attacked by branches; scrapes covered them. With each step I was getting more and more angry and hungry. Not watching where I was going I tripped over a log and went tumbling down a ditch. Everything went black.

Moments later I woke up and instinctively touched my face. Looking at my hand I saw the blood. I had hit my head on a log causing a gash on my forehead close to my hairline. Now there were scrapes covering my whole body. I couldn’t take it anymore. My head felt like a thousand needles were being drilled into it, my body was on fire, and all I wanted was a juicy burger and fries. I flipped my head back and screamed at the top of my lungs. Not just any old scream, the *if I did this at home someone would probably call the cops* scream, or the scream when you just let it all loose. All the anger, all the throbbing pain, all of it let out in one ear blistering scream. When I was done, tears filled my eyes and I let them pour out. Grabbing my bag, I threw it behind my head and laid myself down. This was it; I was going to die alone. I was tired and so ready to just give up, so I closed my eyes and let sleep consume me.

When I woke up, I had prayed that this was all just one big dream and I would be in my comfy bed at home. But no, I wasn’t that lucky, when I awoke, I was in the same place I was before, laying on the ground in a ditch using my duffle bag as a pillow. It was pitch black and I could not see a thing. What would I do now? It was too dark to try to get up and find my way back to the beach. I sat there for minutes in deep thought when I heard the crack of a branch to my left.

“Who-who is it!?!” I yelled as I stood up fast grabbing my duffle.

“Now, now that’s no way to treat someone who could help you, now is it?” a voice said.

“You didn’t answer my question and where are you, I can’t see a thing?” I asked as I backed up into a tree.

“So many questions girl, and we only just met,” the voice said when out of no where a fire appeared before me, lighting up the ditch. I held my breath and looked up. It was a boy, probably around my age no older than 18. He had light brown, shaggy hair, green eyes that were so piercing they mimicked emeralds, and he wore green, patched together clothing as a shirt and pants. Around his waist was a belt and a dagger. I eyed him questioningly.

“Uh-uhm-uh wwhere arree wwe?” I stuttered.

He smirked and his eyes glowed with pride. “We, my dear, are in Neverland.”