#now we just need some comfort to go with all this hurt
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Double trouble
Alexia Putellas x reader
Summary: Your twins needs new cleats and alexia learns about the increase in cost of living.
Dinner was soon to be ready, just in time to eat before your twin girls had football practice. They were both on the Barcelona u15’s team, and somehow both of them had a talent. “Mamma!” Your eldest daughter yelled from the down stairs laundry room causing you to mentally sight. She was the messier of the twins; she would probably lose her head if it wasn’t stuck to her body. “Si, mi amor” you said as you walked into the laundry room. “Mamma, they don’t fit anymore!” She cried as she threw the cleat towards the corner of the room. “Que? The new one? The pair you got a few months ago, si?” You said as you touched her back to comfort her. “Si, mamma..” she said as she frowned. The girls were definitely in a growth spurt. “Let’s see, Hermosa” you said as you opened up the laces of the shoes and bent down to help her try it on. “AUCH, my toe! It hurts mamma!” She protested as you got the shoe on. “Wiggle your toes” you commanded as she sighted and wiggled her toes. It was clear as day, she needed new cleats again. “Alright, Mami is gonna be home any minute now. Let’s all eat and then go to pick up some new ones, si? It’s important that they make you feel comfortable. Go grab your sister and help me set the table, por favor” you said as you stood up and reached your hand out for her to grab. The blonde got up while leaning on to your hand and skipped upstairs to get her sister. The twins were spitting image of Alexia, expect they had icy blue eyes from the donor. You had originally wanted to have kids in two rounds; one with your egg and one with alexia’s egg. However, a pair of twins ended the plan quickly as they were more than enough for the two of you.
Just as you got to the kitchen, Alexia entered the house. “Hola amor” Alexia sang as she walked into the kitchen. “Smells amazing” she said as she hugged you from behind kissing your neck. “Spinach pasta” you said as you leaned into her smiling. You loved your little family, it was everything you had ever dreamed of. The twins bounced down the stairs together and walked into the kitchen. “Mami!” Elena yelled as she hugged alexia. The twins and alexia started setting the table, and you put the pasta in a serving bowl. Alexia grabbed sparkling water and you all sat down at the kitchen table in your designated chairs. “How was school, girls?” Alexia said as she slurped in a spaghetti. “It was bien! I sat with Andrea in class, she’s so nice. Maybe she can sleep over sometime? I also got my test back, I got a B, but I studied really hard” Camila rambled as you all kept on eating. Camila was the more talkative of the girls, often leading the conversation. After a quick chat about her new friend and her good grades, the other twin spoke up. “Mamma, do we have Bandaids? Or tape?” She said as she shoved her pasta around on her plate. “Si, why? Are you hurt?” You asked as you got a worried grin. “No! No, I’m not hurt. My cleats are just tight and it’s tugging in my heel.” She said as she looked up carefully. Alexia’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “Already?? Didn’t you ge-“ you smacked her arm. If looks could kill, she would be a dead woman. “Honey, it’s normal. You are growing everyday besides, we are already going to stop by the sports store to grab your sister a new pair so why not see if you find something you like too?” You said as you took a sip of water. Her eyes lit up as she smiled and nodded rapidly. Dinner went on, and you were soon on your way to the store.
—
“Alright preciousas, here we are” alexia said as she pulled your Lexus suv up in the parking lot of the sports store. The girls quickly hopped out and practically sprinted towards the store in their workout gear. You grabbed alexia’s hand as you walked in and was met by a mountain of cleats. “Oh my” you mumbled as your eyes widened. Having two girls in football wasn’t cheap, especially not when they were starting to work towards playing professionally while both being on the national team. It meant twice the travel expenses,, kits, jerseys, clothes and a shit ton of sports tape. “Mami! I like the pink ones” Camila squealed as she grabbed Alexia’s arm and pulled her towards a bright pair of Nike. Elena was more hesitant and grabbed your hand as you walked around. “What color do you like? Is there a specific brand you want?” You asked softly as her eyes scanned the wall. “I like pink” she said as she looked over at her sister that was busy trying on cleats. “The same as that your sister is trying on, si?” You asked as you walked towards her and alexia. Elena nodded and held close to you. After a few trials and errors both girls had found a pair of bright pink Nike; the same pair to be fair. It wasn’t really a problem, you just needed to mark the inside of the shoe. Not that it would be a problem as Elena was more of a left striker while Camila was a right striker. At the register, a young woman scanned the boxes and tapped the register. The girls each grabbed the box and immediately disposed the boxes in the trash as they went to the bench in the doorway to put their new cleats on. “And that will be, 559.99 euros m’am” the woman spoke as Alexia was pulling out her wallet. “!?” Alexia said in disbelief. “559.99” the woman repeated as she smiled. “Cash or card?” Alexia stood dumbfounded and looked at the register. “Ai, card” she said as she rubbed her neck. I giggled behind her as this was usually something I would take care of in terms of shopping and her being happy to pay down the credit card every month.
As we walked out the store, the rain has started pouring so Alexia unlocked the car as the girls sprinted towards it t avoid getting soaked. We drove the 5 mins to the arena and said our goodbye’s to the girls before entering the designated room for parents to watch. Alexia grabbed us both coffees on the way into the room, and sat down beside me to watch the girls. Me and one of the other mothers were talking about how crazy the cost of living had become and how groceries had become a huge expense. “Have you even seen the price of eggs! It’s insane, and my daughter eats like a horse.” the woman next to me exclaimed. “Think eggs are expensive? Try having one egg fertilised and it splitting into two.” I said as the whole room giggled while Alexia chocked on her coffee dramatically. “It was your egg Putellas, so you are to blame” I whispered as I winked.
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cancer's a bitch
masterlist
natasha romanoff x reader
2.3k words
warnings: reader has cancer and there's no happy ending. major character death
summary: at a time you need her the most, Natasha is nowhere to be found
“The results came back positive. I’m sorry. The next steps will be to start…” You couldn’t hear anything past that. It became white noise to the thrumming of your heartbeat in your ears, an instant emphasis of your ebbing mortality.
You knew about all the treatments your doctor was trying to explain to you, you had been on a deep dive down the web about them every night since you first went seeking help about your suspicions. Now that they were confirmed, you wondered who you should tell first. How could you even begin to find the words to tell anyone that you had cancer?
That was all you could think about on the journey home. Natasha would be there and you weren’t sure whether to tell her outright or wait for the right time. You wouldn’t know how much of that you had until you knew how your body took to the treatment. Best case scenario, the chemo would nip it in the bud and never return. It would be a thing of the past before you could fully process it as a terrifying present. Worst case scenario… Well, it didn’t do to think about it.
You needed to talk to Natasha.
When you finally got home, your heart plummeted further at the sight of your girlfriend packing. You knew that the frantic nature she took to grabbing items meant that she had been called on a last minute mission and that it was probably urgent. You also knew that she could be gone for some time. It could be weeks - weeks you would spend relaying the difficult conversation in your head. Weeks you could spend without her there to comfort you in your crushing fear for your life.
“Hey, babe,” you greeted as you hung up your jacket. If her mind wasn’t so preoccupied with work she would have asked where you’d been.
“Hi. Sorry I know we had plans tomorrow but I’ve been called away,” Natasha told you without looking your way, too focused on filling her bag as quickly as possible. You sat down on the edge of your bed and watched the redhead for a moment, debating whether or not to ask her not to go. You had never done that before, nothing had been that important.
“You think you could skip? I need to talk to you,” you muttered, threading your fingers together to stop them trembling.
“I can’t skip a mission for a date, detka,” Natasha huffed. You swallowed.
“It’s not that,” you said with a forced chuckle. “I’ve just been to the-”
“Y/n, I need to go,” she told you pointedly.
“There are other agents.” You didn’t mean it to sound like a plea, to sound like a child trying to convince their parents not to leave them on the first day of school.
“It’s important,” Natasha said, zipping up her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. “There are things going on that you don’t understand.” That hurt.
“Natasha please,” you tried, not caring how desperate you sounded. Still, she continued for the door. Maybe if she had looked at you properly instead of kissing your cheek in passing, she would have seen the worry written over your features in bold. “Please don’t go.”
“I love you, I’ll see you soon,” she called over her shoulder.
“I love you too but I-” you were cut off by the apartment door closing in your face. “I’m not well,” you whispered. She was already gone.
*
There were numerous people you could have called to pick you up from your first round of treatment. It was also highly recommended. You were exhausted, but taking a taxi home was the easiest solution, because it meant you didn’t have to tell anyone where you were.
It had been a couple weeks since your diagnosis and Natasha still wasn’t home. You still weren’t sure how to approach the subject with anyone you knew, counting on your girlfriend to hold your hand through the process. But she wasn’t there by your side and she wasn’t there to take you home.
Wanda would have been a good person to tell. She was the kind of friend who would drop everything to be with you when you needed her. She would have picked you up. She would have pulled over to hug you when you began to cry silently in the back of the taxi. She would have figured out a way to call Natasha home but she couldn’t…because she was imprisoned.
The battle of Leipzig airport hit the news by storm, as did everything that followed. Half were imprisoned and the rest were either on the run or playing lap dogs to the government, leaving you alone. Upon hearing that your girlfriend was an outlaw, you were able to piece together that you wouldn’t be seeing her for a long time. Nor would you see your friends. You were deserted.
You collapsed over the toilet once you were home, bringing up the contents of your stomach as your weakened knees groaned in protest from the impact. They were already bad - your legs - having been the area the cancer was attacking, but every short track you made seemed to make the pain worse. So much so that you were tempted to let the exhaustion overtake you on that very bathroom floor. You just wanted to close your eyes in hopes of having a short break from your reality.
Instead, with a small whimper, you forced yourself up and towards the bedroom. The sheets didn’t smell like Natasha because you had had to wash them a few days prior. You had sprayed some of her perfume on her side of the bed but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t her. Still, you clung to her pillow as if it was, imagining her strong arms wrapping around your frame tenderly. She always protected you in your weakest moments, except that one. Except the worst.
Weeks turned into months and things became considerably harder. The pain was progressing with the cancer, working its way deep into your bones despite the aggressive treatment you had. At the start, a bad day was not being able to make it into work. After months, a bad day was not being able to get out of bed. The treatment wasn’t working.
“We need to operate,” your doctor told you. You peered at the frown lines along his forehead, wondering how many people he had given that news to before you. How many people had sat in the chair you were in, listening to the doctor tell them their body was failing to fight off a biological evil? Were their loved ones sitting in that office with them, occupying the empty seat next to you? Were they waiting outside? Were they a phone call away? You should call your parents. Nothing buried the hatchet like telling your parents you were dying, right?
You didn’t want them though, you wanted Natasha, wherever she may be. She could be dead. Perhaps if she was, you would be together sooner than it would take for her to come out of hiding to see you just once. You didn’t want that. You weren’t that selfish. You hoped she was okay, better than you at least. But you were selfish enough to wish she would come see you, just once. It would be dangerous, stupidly reckless. There were no doubt eyes on your home at all times, waiting for Natasha to come back for you. That was why she couldn’t come. Yet you still couldn’t help but think fuck the risk, please just come hold my hand.
That was all you could think as you were wheeled into surgery and when the mask was placed over your face. You didn’t wish for success or recovery. You wished for her. You were naive to even try. She wasn’t there when you woke up and even though you hadn’t expected her to be, it still hurt to see the visitor chair next to your bed empty. You weren’t desperate for company, if you were you would have called your parents. You had always prided yourself on handling things on your own, even the burdens you could share with others. So no, you didn’t want sympathy, cards, flowers or visitors. You didn’t even care that you still had to get a taxi home instead of having someone waiting for you in their car. You just wanted a text from your girlfriend, to know that she was still out there somewhere thinking of you - caring about you.
Even after a year, you refused to give up on the dream Natasha would some day come home. You still celebrated your anniversary. You celebrated her birthday. You placed a present under the small tree for her on Christmas, leaving it there even after you took the tree down. You left the first aid kit on the windowsill in the bathroom. You always made sure there was a fresh pb&j sandwich on the kitchen counter when you went to bed. Even when keeping the apartment clean and tidy became too difficult for you, you ensured that anything Natasha might need, should she come home, be out ready for her.
After two years, your doctor refused to continue your treatment. It was causing internal bleeds. It was stripping you of energy you didn’t have to start with. It made you sick. You were entering stage four, something that didn’t always mean you were approaching the end of the road. But in your case, you were.
Then, finally, you received a text.
Unknown number: new jersey, tmrw. I’ll send you an address once you land -n
You blinked at your phone. You weren’t going to make it downstairs, never mind to the airport. There was a high chance Natasha had destroyed the phone as soon as she sent the message, but you had to at least try and find a way to say what you needed to.
Me: goodnight, see you in the morning :)
It was code, something you had come up with years ago. It was a text you had always dreaded receiving but had never pictured yourself sending. Why would you? Your girlfriend was the spy who’s life was always in danger in some sense, yet it was you preparing for what would come next.
You closed your eyes, content in the fact you had managed to say goodbye in some sense. It wasn’t the way you wanted, but it was better than nothing.
You awoke, two days later, to the sound of your window being opened. You opened your eyes but couldn’t raise your eyelids more than half way, adding to the poor visibility the night time provided. You only saw the figure when it moved, but you weren’t alarmed by the presence of something unknown no matter what it could mean. You hoped it meant you weren’t going to be alone when you went, no one deserved that.
“Y/n,” Natasha’s name pierced through the room. Your breath hitched in your throat but you were unable to answer. Your throat was sore and you hadn't had a drink in a long time. You didn’t have the strength to grab the glass on your bedside table.
Natasha turned the lamp and you really wished she didn’t. You didn’t know what you looked like, but the last time you saw your reflection you were greeted with someone you didn’t know. Would Natasha see it that way? Wonder where her girlfriend had gone? She had always been an expert on concealing her emotions, but her shock then was clear. Not just that, she was scared. You knew that feeling all too well. It had taken her place as the one constant in your life.
“What…are…” She was at a loss for words, you noted. She took a tentative step that allowed her to be close enough to see the tears brimming in her eyes. God, you always loved those emerald eyes.
Natasha brought the glass up to your lips and you managed two sips before turning your head away. “What do I do?” She asked, voice shaking. Your hand managed to find hers, linking them together with the intention of never letting go until you had taken your last breath. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, squeezing your hand. You managed a smile. “I love you so much.”
“Love you.” There was so much more you wanted to say. How much you missed her, how you had waited for her to come home. You wanted to rush her out of the apartment under the fear she would be caught, but you also wanted to tell her that you had been hanging on for her, keeping the grim reaper outside your door until you were ready to take his hand.
“God I…” Natasha also had a lot she wanted to say. She wanted to tell you how not a single day went by where she didn’t want to come running home or at least send a text. How she regretted ever joining a battle that seemed so insignificant in comparison to you laying there. She wanted to tell you about her family and how much she had told them about you and that they had even promised to keep an eye on you as she continued on the run. She wanted to tell you that she was going to be at a loss without you, but seeing the exhaustion on your face, she didn’t want to keep you from your rest any longer. You had waited long enough for her.
“It’s okay. You can go now. I love you so much and I’ll never stop loving you. You’ve done so well and I’m so proud, you can go to sleep now.”
Natasha didn’t want you to see her cry. It took all of her will power to hold it back until the final rise and fall of your chest. She bit back a sob, watching the light in your eyes finally dim so that they could take their place among the stars.
#natasha romanoff#marvel#natasha romanoff x reader#black widow#gxg marvel#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff imagines#natasha romanoff angst
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Hi, for the wip ask game, bff Soap Hurt Comfort? :') please and thank you!
for the wip ask game--lighter, sweeter bff!Soap. you're meeting him at the airport. he's coming home after being MIA. scared you to death.
this one is short, so here it is edited + posted in full. for the hurt/comfort girlies :)
600 words / 23
…
“Thought you couldna live without me, eh?”
You tackle Soap in a hug, tactical gear and all. "Shut up. Shut up. God, you're alive."
He laughs and returns the embrace. "Too stubborn to die. I thought I told you not to worry about me."
You grip the straps on the back of his vest and keep your face in his chest to hide the tears threatening to track down your cheeks. "You can't just say that and go MIA. They talked about putting your name on a memorial and everything."
"You know me. Always gotta do things my way."
"Your way is stupid."
He chuckles and rubs your back. "Yeah, I'm stupid. I've missed you, though. I haven't stopped thinkin' bout you."
"Really? Cause I..." The dam breaks. You can't stop the flood of hot, angry tears. "I missed you too." Then you start sobbing. God, it's embarrassing. But you refuse to let go of him.
He strokes your hair. "Hen, don't cry. Please. I'm here and I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm your man, aye?"
You shake your head, stubbornly refusing to move.
He rests his cheek on you. "I don't want you to be sad. I'll make it up to you, I promise. I love you."
Hearing him say that just makes your heart skip before the tears come out faster. You love him, too, more than a friend should. How could anyone not fall in love with him? He's Johnny. It's just that you were always too chickenshit to tell him. You thought you lost your chance.
"Come on, look at me."
"No," you mutter, refusing to unbury your face from his shirt. Scared to, maybe. "I don't want you to make it up to me. I want to stay here."
"That's no problem. We can stay here for however long. I just need to know you're not upset at me. I can't stand seein' you sad. Makes me sad."
You sniff. "You deserve it."
"Aye, I do. But what can I do to cheer you up'?"
"Nothing," you mumble into his chest. "I've been crying for two weeks because of you."
You try to collect yourself anyway, wiping your eyes with your sleeve. His squadmates stand a little ways away from the terminal, looking curious at this scene you're causing. This isn't exactly how you wanted to meet them. You're supposed to be Johnny's cool best friend, not a weepy mess.
Johnny recaptures your attention, wiping away a stray tear track with his thumb. "You've been cryin' about me?"
You shove him, but it's light and there's no anger in it. "Of course I have, asshole, you're my best friend. They said you were MIA. Why wouldn't I cry?"
He grins. "But I'm here now, though. Could use a wee bit of comforting myself. You mind?"
You sniff, nodding as you press your sleeves into your eyes one more time to dry them. He's right. He's the one who's been away from home for a month. Probably endured some draconian shit, missing for two weeks and all. But the way he's looking at you through those blue eyes of his... it's not fair how easy it is to fall under his spell again.
"Yeah. I guess. What do you want? More fawning and crying?"
He laughs softly and pulls you into another tight hug. He presses a kiss to your temple, and you have to act like it doesn't make your heart explode into tiny pieces. He rests his chin on the top of your head, content to keep you here, totally enveloped in his frame. "Mm, that'll do. Just to start."
...
wip ask game / more Soap / masterlist tag
#mine#ask game#bff soap#story#ask#killerpancakeburger#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish#soap cod#johnny mactavish#soap mactavish#soap x reader#soap x you#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish x you#cod#cod x reader#call of duty#call of duty x reader#cod mw2#cod mwii#tf 141#tf 141 x reader
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In the Heat of the Moment - Chpt.9
Summary: “Less than ten percent of domesticated species go into heats,” accord to Tech and his research, and (un)fortunately, you’re one of that ten percent.
What else are you meant to do? Trapped during a heat cycle with five men - five willing men who are happy to help relieve you, but not all have the confidence to say so.
Relationship: The Bad Batch x fem!Reader (she/her)
Tags: Heats, Mating, Sex pollen, Friends with benefits, Friends to lovers, Slow burn, Sex, Jealousy, Pining, Tags to be added.
Word count: 2k
[Chapter 1] [Chapter 10 - not published yet]
Chapter 9 - An Excellent Listener
Thank the stars that the Marauder not only managed to exit the atmosphere of Tatooine, but also drift off into hyperspace! Everybody let out a sigh of relief as the stars around them turned into a whirlpool of lights, a sign that you’re finally on your way, with Kamino as your destination.
It’s going to take a few standard hours to reach the terraformed surface of Kamino, so the Batch are up to their usual shenanigans. As for you, you’re sticking to your quarters. That argument with Hunter is still brewing in your mind, and you might as well lock yourself away to prevent your poor Sergeant from being bothered by your hormones.
You’ve spent your time doing some cleaning, rearranging, folding clothes and changing your sheets. A deep clean never hurts, and it can be good for the mind.
But do you know what isn’t good for the mind? Or better yet - who isn’t good for the mind?
‘KNOCK KNOCK.’
“Come in,” you respond without missing a beat.
Tall, slender legs come into your line of sight, seeing as you’re sitting on the floor, rearranging your underbed storage. “Figured you might need this,” Crosshair comments as he enters your dorm, a cup of tea in hand.
“Oh,” you sigh. Crosshair was the last person that you expected to be bringing you a cup of tea. Well, besides Hunter…
Crosshair places the tea on your bedside table, and blankly gestures to your bed. “Sure, you can sit,” you nod.
Once seated, Crosshair rests back on his elbows, really making himself at home. His eyes dart around your room, noticing your decorations, memorabilia and trinkets scattered about. He doesn’t come in here often - if ever - so you can’t blame him for having a browse.
“Comfortable?” you sarcastically comment, seeing as his slender form is somehow taking up half of your bed.
“Not quite,” Crosshair responds. “Need to tuck myself into bed,” he grins, and begins untucking your duvet, earning a slap on the hand.
“I just made that,” you grumble.
“I noticed, fresh sheets and all. How kind of you,” he smirks, finally earning a laugh from you. “Now, stop distracting yourself, and come up here and talk to me,” Crosshair orders, giving the blank space on the bed a gentle pat.
“You want to talk?” your brow raises, yet you find yourself finishing off your organising, pushing the storage container back under your bunk.
Crosshair shrugs. “I figured it’s you who wants to talk, and I’m an excellent listener.”
Rolling your eyes, you sit yourself on your bed, getting as comfortable as you can. Only now does Crosshair’s cologne reach your nose, warm and musky, a comforting scent - but you’ll never admit that to him. Crosshairs shifts upright, now resting against the back of your bunk with his legs crossed. At least he’s not wearing shoes, nor his armour, keeping your bed clean!
You’re silent, so after letting out a sigh, Crosshair starts things off. “Hunter does care about you, you know.”
“Ugh,” you groan, already debating shooing the sniper out of your room.
“He does. That’s why he brought you those supplements. I was with him when it happened. He wouldn’t stop mumbling about your little issue, and figured it wouldn’t do any harm to have that option available.”
“He could have spoken to me about it first,” you shrug.
“How?” Crosshair replies. “We had the option then and there, and it isn’t exactly a conversation to be had over the comm. Might as well buy the supplements, and if you decide not to take them, then that’s your choice.”
“Exactly! I’ve chosen not to take them! Hunter can’t complain about my decision-”
“-But Hunter also has the right to be annoyed.” Crosshair shakes his head. Acting as the mediator was not on his list of things to do today, yet here he is. “When you’re part of a squad, every choice you make has the ability to impact others, including those closest to you. You know what Hunter is like. You’ve seen him suffering from migraines, poor vision, stomach bugs. His enhanced senses come at a cost, just like the rest of us.”
“And what’s your ‘cost,’ hm?” you pry. Sure, you’ve seen Wrecker suffer from his aching muscles, Tech with an inability to switch off his mind, even Echo has had his fair share of suffering, despite not being defective in the Batch’s way.
Crosshair lets out a grunt. “You’ve never seen me wearing my reading glasses.”
“Reading glasses?!” you repeat with a laugh. “I didn’t think that you-”
“-Exactly. I don’t wear them around others,” he waves his hand. “Beside the point, Hunter is going stir-crazy from that scent of yours,” Crosshair boldly points to your crotch, causing you to clash your thighs together.
“So, what you’re saying is that I should start taking them, for Hunter?” you question, seeing as that’s what Crosshair has been hinting at.
“No. It’s too late for that.”
“Well, then what?” you grumble, waving your arms up in frustration.
Crosshair raises his brows, offering you a suggestive expression. “Just kriff him already. Do us all a favour, and kriff him until you’re both satisfied.”
“Crosshair!” You yelp, grabbing a pillow to smack him over the head with.
“That’s Hunter’s name that you should be yelling, not mine!” he smirks, ripping the pillow from your grasp to smack you with, before chucking it across the room. “You need to do us all the favour! Hunter’s been in a sulk ever since you started your strange mating ritual, and the rest of us can’t bare to tolerate him any longer!”
With a huff, you send Crosshair a glare, only for him to mimic it. “I’ll think about it,” you grumble. The thought of sleeping with Hunter has been on your mind, but on your terms - not on Crosshair’s, as strange as that sounds.
“You better,” Crosshair playfully threatens. His arms cross against his chest as he leans back comfortably. “And just think…” he trails off, biting back a chuckle. “…Once you’ve had Hunter, there’s only me left to tick off your list.”
“Oh my stars!” you exclaim, your eyes darting around your room to find something to throw at him in frustration. Your cup of tea? Tempting, but you’d rather drink it. Saying that, you settle on swatting his arm before taking a well-needed drink.
Crosshair laughs. He truly, deeply enjoys winding you up! And it’s your own fault for taking his bait.
“Wait-” you sputter, placing the tea on your bedside table. “How did you find out about the others?”
Crosshair sends you a look, but he doesn’t hold back on the juicy gossip. “Everybody can hear you and Tech kriffling like lothbunnies, you two aren’t exactly quiet. Echo quite openly admitted to it, and Wrecker? Big guy couldn’t keep his mouth shut when it happened.”
Letting out a grumble, you come to realise the situation that you’ve found yourself in. Maybe Hunter was right - maybe you should have started taking those supplements, preventing yourself from sleeping with more than half of your squad.
Then again, you’re having some well-needed fun, and it’s not like your men have any issues with it. If anything, they seem more than happy to help with your biological needs, as well as blowing off some steam. However, you know damn-well that you’ll all need to sit down and talk this through when the time is right.
Maybe once you’ve kriffed the entire squad…?
“Dammit,” is all you mutter as a response. Can you blame them? Wrecker especially? You’re certain that you’d be flexing if you slept with someone such as yourself.
“You poor thing,” Crosshair taunts, playfully sticking out his bottom lip. “But then again, we all saw it coming.”
Darting your eyes to Crosshair, you dare question, “what do you mean?”
The sniper lets out a soft chuckle, his arms crossing against his chest. He shakes his head as he explains, “a pretty girl was assigned to a squad of men. Somebody was bound to sleep with you.”
“You think I’m pretty?” you bat your lashes, which only makes Crosshair roll his eyes. Way to focus on the important points!
“Of course I do,” he scoffs, and you’re almost certain you heard him mumble ‘duh!’ under his breath. “But like I was saying, it was bound to happen, even if we all had a pact against it.”
Mouth hanging open, you question, “a pact? What?!” barely able to hold back on your laughter.
Crosshairs lets out a long, exaggerated sigh. “I’m shooting myself in the foot here,” he curses, digging a ditch that he’s content on not escaping. “When you first joined, Hunter made us swear not to try anything with you. Said it would ruin the dynamic, and all that. I guess that’s why he’s been keeping his distance, alongside the enhanced senses issue.”
“Are you serious?!” you let out a laugh. Now that is a sight you wish you could have seen! Little Sergeant Hunter asking his squad not to get physical with the Jedi. It’s understandable, yet you can’t believe they had that conversation!
“And Tech was the first one to break it,” Crosshair huffs, although there’s a sense of pride in his expression. “Didn’t think he had it in him.”
Raising your hand, you defend poor Tech. “In his defence, I did pounce on him. He seemed rather eager, though!”
“Good man,” Crosshair comments with a nod of his head. If it had been Hunter who went first, Crosshair would have been beyond furious. But Tech? Yeah, Crosshair has his back. His eyes flick between you, and your forgotten drink. “Your tea’s going cold,” he gestures. You willingly take the mug between your hands, enjoying what’s left of your beverage.
Rising to his feet, Crosshair bids farewell. “I’ll leave you to your… organising,” he shrugs, heading for the door.
As the door opens, you call out his name. Crosshair looks back with his usual monotone expression, but a small smile appears on his lips as you reply, “thank you for the talk… and the tea!”
“Like I said, I’m an excellent listener,” he mindlessly shrugs, and leaves you to it, shutting the door behind him.
Now alone, you question if you have any energy left within you to do some more cleaning and organising, not that there’s much left to do. Your dorm is, after all, as small as it can be. Curse the GAR for always picking the cheap route! The time on your clock reads that it’s late, and the surprise yawn that escapes your lips helps you decide that it’s time for bed.
Hopefully, snuggled up within your blankets, you can plan on how to approach Hunter… or avoid him even more…
#tbbwriting#in the heat of the moment#tbb#the bad batch#tbb fanfic#the bad batch fanfic#the bad batch x reader#the bad batch x you#f!reader#female reader#reader insert#hunter x reader#echo x reader#tech x reader#wrecker x reader#crosshair x reader#nsft#smut
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Aita for secretly following my then best friend home?
(tw alcohol abuse, probably suicidal tendencies)
I know this sounds really awful right away but bear with me. Also this is probably going to get long, sorry in advance
tl;dr I followed a guy i was friends with and had a crush on home after an argument, even after he asked me not to come to his house, bc i was worried he might hurt himself.
Last summer I (20f) moved to the US for college. I didn’t know anyone outside of college and overall I was mostly on my own which was getting a bit lonely tbh. So I was very glad when I met this guy (21m) at a party of one of my acquaintances. We got along right away and he ended up giving me his number. After that we continued talking regularly and also meeting up every now and then and overall it was a lot of fun.
At some point I started developing feelings for him but prepared myself to just wait it out and not tell him bc I knew that he liked having a very active sex life and felt like he probably wouldn’t be interested in something serious at that time.
After a few months however, he began to behave in some ways that made me pretty worried honestly. I had known that he liked to go out and party but I hadn’t known to what extent. Apparently he would get totally blackout drunk at least once a week, sometimes more than that and then he would text me or call me in the middle of the night but often I genuinely couldn’t understand what he was saying. Sometimes he would just call me like that at any time of day, crying, saying that I was his only real friend, the only person he felt safe talking to and so on. On the one hand I knew that that wasn’t healthy behaviour at all but on the other hand my crush on him kept getting worse bc who doesn’t like to feel needed.
On other occasions, he would just randomly do reckless and stupid things like one time we went to a museum and he started arguing with the guard over not being able to take any pictures and we almost got kicked out. Afterwards he laughed it off but honestly it made me feel pretty uneasy. (I didn’t tell any of my other friends about that btw, they only knew that I was seeing this guy but wasn’t dating him.)
He has told me some things about his childhood which I don’t want to share here bc he did tell me that confidentially and although this is anonymous I still don’t feel comfortable telling random people on tumblr about it. But it is severe enough for me to believe that his upbringing and the things he lived through definitely contributed to the issues that he has now. I can say that he didn’t have a great time at home bc he is bi and while homosexuality isn’t illegal in his country, it isn’t really accepted either. Also it’s generally expected that children, especially boys, dedicate their entire life to having a successful and lucrative career and then start a family and he wasn’t really in the right place to do either of that (and he didn’t want to).
He also has been facing a lot of problems and racism here bc he is a poc immigrant from a country that isn’t in good standing with the US. So while I don’t pretend I know what he’s feeling, I imagine that all of these things would affect him quite a lot.
Now I actually get to the incident that is the reason for me to send this (it rly did get long TT but I want to make everything as clear as possible).
A few weeks ago we were just hanging out, it was all pretty chill and we just sat down to eat and talk etc. It had been quite a difficult week for me, also college wise, and I felt like I really had to talk to him about him calling me at night and while I’m in class and all that. So I said as nicely as I could smth like “I don’t want to seem overbearing but have you ever thought about maybe seeing a therapist bc I don’t think what you do is healthy in the long run and I’m not a professional who can properly help you.” He immediately got really snappy and defensive, saying that he “couldn’t fucking afford a therapist and even if I could, all they do is squeeze the money out of you and they don’t give a fuck about your feelings.” I was pretty shocked tbh and responded by saying “well if you really think this badly about therapists you should clearly see one” which was probably too harsh of me but I just couldn’t help myself at that moment. He then said “oh yeah?? I’d rather die than tell any of my shit to a total stranger. But you’ve probably already told yours bc you’re all so fucking dependant on them anyway.” and then he stormed off. (Just to be clear, I don’t have a therapist bc I don’t have any issues that require one.)
I was really scared at that point bc I thought that he might do something to himself (he had said stuff like “I wish I just wasn’t here sometimes” before) so I started following him which I now think was extremely weird and creepy of me but I just didn’t think it through in that situation. He walked for about 10 minutes to a house which I assumed was where he lived (I had never been at his place before bc he always said he lived in a bad neighborhood and didn’t want me to come there) and I stood outside for like another 10 minutes thinking abt what to do bc I realized that this had been totally stupid, also it started to get dark and it really was a bad neighborhood. I ended i up calling him and telling him where I was and he let me in. He was pretty angry but mostly at the fact that I had put myself in such a dangerous situation and he let me spend the night at his place.
We actually got together not long after that and as of now, we’re dating. I know it’s not an ideal situation and probably not the most healthy one but I have been able to keep him from drinking himself into oblivion all the time bc we spend most evenings together now so I think that’s a good thing. I don’t know where things will go from here and I don’t have the illusion that i can “fix him” or anything but so far it’s been pretty good and I really do love him a lot so I just hope it will all turn out for the best. I just still feel guilty for lowkey (or actually highkey) stalking him when he explicitly asked me not to come to his house but it was out of genuine worry for him so idk if it makes me an asshole, I guess I’ll let tumblr decide that for me.
🌃🎀🍨 for finding later
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Your One True Nemesis
Chapter 39: also on AO3
Masterlist Here
Arkham!Riddler x Female!Reader, word count: 1.5k
am i going to cry because this is almost over? maybe lmao💚
request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist
minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: some angst, but mostly ambiguous feelings
“My dear, will you please join me in the workshop?”
Eddie’s voice rang out through the hall. Loud, but not sharp. Oddly soft. And there was no hint of sarcasm, no patronising tone, to the pet name he offered you. This alone was enough to make you suspicious, sending pangs of cold, chilling fear through your body as you worried what might be in store for you. That was your default as of late. Things had been difficult since the orphanage, and you had settled comfortably on that being all your fault. And now, anytime you spoke to Eddie, anytime he needed to speak to you, your first thought was always negative, jumping to fearful conclusions that had you so on edge that you were finding yourself exhausted constantly, strung high and forever tetchy.
As you walked into the workroom, he turned to you, his face coloured by an expression you hadn’t seen often in him, making it difficult to recognise. Confusion? Lack of understanding? Lost without an answer. Unlike him. But, despite looking as though he had no idea what he was doing or what he was going to say, he spoke anyway. Very much like him.
“I would like to assuage some… concerns I think you might have been having. Some that I shared until I spent the night dedicating my immense and spectacular brain power to this little conundrum.”
He paused, expecting you to roll your eyes at his ego, but you were staring, unblinking, waiting patiently and focused for his next words.
“As you will know, I have been incredibly busy this past few weeks. I apologise for that, and I apologise for not involving you as much in my work. I felt that you needed a rest, or deserved a rest, or… it doesn’t matter. This work… I’m intending on it being a surprise. For everyone, but mostly for you.”
Your mouth twisted into a confused look, at least that part of your worries could be filed away for now. It had been a while since he had asked anything of you, and to know it wasn’t out of anger or disappointment, or, god forbid, him practising living without you, you could feel the knots in your stomach easing slightly.
“For some time, I’ve been working on a project. One I couldn’t involve you in, even as my assistant. As a trusted party, as a friend. Or more than a friend.”
There was a struggle behind the words, as though he were worried about how they would come out. Scared he might commit to too much, to overstep a boundary neither of you had placed by calling you something more.
“I don’t want you to be hurt.”
Your heart thudded, deep in your chest. Like it had fallen from your throat to the bottom of your rib cage. It knocked you back, the feeling, the knowledge that he cared enough to leave you out of something dangerous. To stop you from doing what was still your job just to make sure nothing bad happened to you. But you were still nervous, still speechless, and unable to speak before he started talking again.
“I think this is why I find it difficult to express my intentions for the future. Because I do have plans, but…”
He gestured around the room, at his failed plans, broken creations, settling his fingertips on old and new scars that covered his body.
“... Completely asinine to plan ahead when you’re… someone like me.”
You hated how right he was. The future, especially to an unreformed criminal, was always blurred, never quite there. Never manageable or predictable, no matter how much they would like it to be. No matter how smart they were.
Eddie’s hand on your shoulder pulled you from your thoughts, your eyes settling on his as he focused intensely on you.
“I hate for this to be rushed, but Halloween is fast approaching and I have it on good authority that we will be rather busy come the big night. So I need you to know now that I will require you to be at this exact address at this specific time. Tomorrow night, the furthest tunnel, 9pm. Can you do that?”
You chose to ignore the tone, his question sounding very familiar to the sarcastic ones he would ask you when you first began to work for him. When he would ask if you could do something simple with the shit-eating grin of a man determined to get to you. Which of course, he had, and still did.
“Is that… the question you had to ask me?”
Eddie reached his hand out, placing it awkwardly, almost formally, against the side of your upper arm.
“No, my dear. That has to wait until tomorrow. I just need to know… that despite everything, you’ll be there.”
The pause before you answered was a little too long, distressing on your end because it meant you didn’t immediately know the answer. Tortuous on Eddie’s as he waited to find out what his future really held in store.
“I… I’ll be there, Eddie.”
He let out a sigh of relief, grabbing your shoulders as he placed his hands down firmly on them.
“Good. Good… Thank you.”
You offered him a smile, one that was so obviously awkward and forced to you both, before you turned and began making your way back to your room. Eddie hadn’t asked you to leave, but you knew he wanted you to. And you needed the space to think. Some time alone to settle your nerves and wonder what kind of cryptic bullshit Eddie was rambling about this time.
A smile crossed your lips. At least that felt like normal. Eddie being strange, difficult to comprehend, frantic in his delivery of emotions. Strangely comforting.
It really had been actually. Comforting. It was awkward, yes, but only because you let it be. You were in the headspace for that. You had been thinking negatively prior to even seeing Eddie’s face for the first time that day. But maybe the tone had been light, or would have been if you had let it be. Maybe there was something warm and tender in the way he said he needed you, to be there, to trust him. That there was an overarching meaning behind his behaviour, behind the words he said, the things he did. His future, though complicated, would be one you were a part of if he had any control over it, and that you had to trust him of that. The question he had to ask-
Fuck.
This could be it.
It felt like it.
The rushed speech, the way he held your arms, looked deep into your eyes. Frantic, but excited. That felt like the mood you recognised from terrible sitcoms. The preamble to an inevitable proposal. An engagement. A declaration of love of the highest, most official, order.
Mrs Nigma. What a complete gas. What a twist. What a… nightmare?
Maybe he was going to do it. Maybe it would be ok. Maybe it was right. But it didn’t feel right. Did it feel wrong though?
It did feel wrong. It felt so wrong. So rushed. So unlike him. The guilt felt like it could almost swallow you, envelop you in an inky black substance that erased any other emotion you might be capable of. You had, for some reason, put an immense amount of pressure on everything. On your relationship, on Eddie. And he was responding like one of the rats in the sewer, stuck in a trap that it had tried to wriggle free from, but had eventually accepted its fate and succumbed to the slow death. Was that what your relationship was? A stifling, suffocating trap? Were you hindering his work? Stealing his focus? Making him make choices, take actions, that he never would have before or under his own will?
But really, how much influence did you really think you could have over him? Realistically, you knew he was still, at his very rore, Edward Nigma. The Riddler. And you were still just you. Maybe a version of you that he cared for, and one he had learned to compromise with. But still, you couldn’t imagine that his feelings towards you would sway his very lifestyle or his long standing goals.
And yet… you could let yourself believe that in fantasy. So then came another pang of guilt. You had to admit to yourself that if you could have Edward, if you could take him away from the things that gave him purpose, you would. Selfishly. You might be able to convince yourself that it was better for him in the long run, but what did you know? You weren’t his psychiatrist or psychologist or therapist. So many had tried and failed before you. What made you different?
Love? Compromise?
So why couldn’t you compromise?
Why couldn’t you accept your status with him? What? It wasn’t enough to just be with him anymore? You deserved more than that?
Each hour that passed by only brought more worry, more questions without answers, possibilities both positive and negative that clouded your mind. The only thing you really were sure about was that, if he asked the question you suspected he might ask, that you wouldn’t say no.
Or would you.
Shit.
Turns out, you really didn’t know anything.
Just like Eddie had said when he first met you. Always right. Of course he was.
#finnie writes#arkham riddler#arkham edward nigma#riddler x reader#arkhamverse riddler#the riddler#arkhamverse#riddler#the riddler imagine#riddler smut#the riddler fanfic#riddler fanfic#riddler x you#edward nigma x reader#edward nigma#arkham!riddler#the riddler fanfiction#arkham!verse#finnie yotn
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I'm rereading utb and while i def understand and agree with ef being held accountable for things, at the same time, it seems like everyone is constantly acting as if he's supposed to know how to have a healthy relationship and to cope with his emotions, much less his trauma, without anyone actually explaining or modeling this
Like, everyone constantly brings up the fact that he tried to kill Kadek even once they've acknowledged why and gary is starting a relationship with him while also essentially his prison warden and with how little ef has experienced in the world, especially as a psychologist, gary still not doing anything to help him get better coping skills makes it feel like he's setting him up to fail
Like, temsen is technically correct that ef domestically abused gary but he has literally never seen a non abusive partnership and is literally a prisoner in his current one
Idk, I really love this fic so, so much and thank you for writing it and i don't even need a response or anything, I just get defensive of ef when I'm reading sometimes bc he's trying so, so hard basically all the time and it seems like people acknowledge it sometimes in the moment but then don't give him the tools to make it any easier
Answering this one publicly because I know you're not the only one who feels this way or has felt this way!
Okay firstly, some of this conflict I'm evoking in the reader is intentional. I want people to feel defensive of Efnisien. I want people to think 'hey, hang on a minute.' There's a lot of reasons I want that, including the fact that in reality, most people don't recover from being abusive even after they've been in horrifically abusive situations in a vacuum (i.e. the whole world doesn't suddenly stop and become soft as cotton wool just because you've been abused! If you go and interview a whole bunch of people in jail right now, a lot of those folks (especially those who have done repeated serious crimes) will have experienced horrendous and incredibly unfair amounts of abuse, y'know? It's complicated. Yes, they have a right to heal and a right to support. Some of them probably did some pretty awful crimes as well. *coughs*serial killers*coughs*)
Obviously Efnisien is nowhere near that level, but the dissonance remains. He's certainly tried to murder more than one person. But we root for the person whose perspective we're reading. Still, people do not heal in a comfortable vacuum. In fact, most people are asked to be accountable for bad behaviour usually while suffering terribly. Because most people - unless they're certain kinds of extremely rare people - do bad behaviour because they don't know better and/or they're suffering intensely and it can momentarily feel good or satisfying to make other people hurt too.
That's an extremely hard process for the folks who are in that situation. Anyone who has had to recognise they're being a bully, or being abusive, usually goes through a period of time where they can't just immediately change, and what's expected of them seems impossible.
Now to everything else:
This world is a dystopia. There are things happening which aren't going to feel good when you're reading - systemic issues, issues around unfairness - because it's a dystopia. If those things weren't happening, and people just felt blithely comfortable with the entire world, well, that's not actually what I'm going for. There are times it should feel extremely disturbing to read.
So there are times I want readers to feel like things are unfair. There are times I want them to feel very strongly in one person's defense and only later realise the other person was hurt too. There are times I want them to feel like everyone is being unfair to a character. And times when I want folks to feel like the situation just sucks all round. Like, my intention in amongst the hurt/comfort isn't for things to feel easy or nice all the time, I am absolutely challenging the reader by introducing things that feel uncomfortable.
So when folks like yourself tell me this stuff it's like - yeah! It's a dystopia! And - yeah! Unfair things are definitely happening. This is especially true in the beginning when no one really has a concept of how bad things have been for Efnisien, or that he's an alpha. It remains true because no one is perfect. But it happens less often, that's what makes it feel more jarring as the story goes on. If you're rereading it's going to feel worse in the beginning, that's on purpose. The story is doing its job.
it seems like everyone is constantly acting as if he's supposed to know how to have a healthy relationship and to cope with his emotions
I don't really know what scenes you're specifically referring to here (like, just the first few chapters? The whole story? Temsen's single lecture?), but this is absolutely not the case. I'm going to look at the whole story:
The majority of the time that Efnisien is rude and disrespectful, especially once Efnisien and Gary are living together, Gary mostly ignores him, brushes it off, doesn't react or responds like it's normal dialogue lol. He's not constantly correcting his behaviour and he's not constantly like 'hey rephrase that to be polite' or 'I have feelings too' (maybe he should say the latter sometimes).
Gary is more aware than anyone that he shouldn't be Efnisien's guardian and that he's not a companion. He says this, out loud, to several people, several times. So we know that he knows that the situation isn't great / fair re: Efnisien's care (and frankly his own. Of the two of them, Gary's the one who keeps coming close to potentially dying from the other person's actions).
especially as a psychologist, gary still not doing anything to help him get better coping skills makes it feel like he's setting him up to fail
Gary is not Efnisien's psychologist. And psychologists are not doing their jobs on absolutely everyone, 24/7! This one is so important to remember (both in real life and sometimes in fiction). He's categorically not Efnisien's psychologist and it would be even more toxic if he attempted to be this if they were living together!
Gary being a psychologist is his job in the same way being an artist is a job, it's not specifically relevant to their relationship, except that Gary sometimes has better understanding of the root/s of some behaviours.
Ask any psychologist how they live at home and most of them do not want anything to do with their psychology jobs in their personal life, because they're mentally fatigued/tired from talking to people all day. They are not perfect people, they don't have perfect control over their emotions, they aren't teaching everyone the coping mechanisms they need to survive (this takes a lot of labour! It's exhausting! People can't do that 24 hours a day and stay sane. It gets toxic fast.)
The majority of the time Efnisien has extreme emotional responses, Gary just tends to absorb them, acknowledge them, or actively care for him. It's easy to miss these moments because I'm usually not making you feel conflicted about it.
The times Efnisien has extreme emotional responses and then chooses to repeatedly hurt Gary, there are often extreme emotional responses that follow because you know, that's what Efnisien was aiming for! He was trying to severely hurt someone!
Let's move onto Temsen and Efnisien, because this might be more of what you're thinking of, since Gary almost never holds Efnisien accountable tbh. Temsen is a doctor, and a peak alpha who is a leading educator in academic omega rights and theory. He is the first to deeply understand how young alphas left to get away with their smaller abusive behaviours are the kind of alphas who grow up into rapists, murderers and torturers like Christian in Underline the Blue.
(I just want to add, Christian's own abuse and PTSD is real, I don't think any of us are rushing to hold his hand and pat his head, because we sympathise with Nate more than Christian. But Christian has real pain, and real suffering too. He's a great example of how 'you're still accountable for your behaviour though' at its most extreme).
So, Temsen sees Efnisien's behaviour and he lectures and shuts him down like he would any young alpha who is on a really dangerous path. Even within that, he acknowledges himself - out loud - that it's a complicated situation and the time he comes down on Efnisien the hardest, he says the timing is poor. The majority of the time, he shows Efnisien compassion and care, and listens to his opinions, even when they disagree. He is the first to validate his gender both repeatedly in words, and in hormone and medical support. He's the first to change his approach to Efnisien's medical care when Efnisien calls out his lack of respecting his right to privacy, and he's the first to correct Gary about it when Gary expects Temsen to keep giving him information. He offers pragmatic, compassionate advice about many sensitive subjects in Efnisien's life, his health, his secondary gender, his nesting behaviours. And I would say this is how Temsen actually models better behaviour.
Temsen doesn't expect Efnisien to have all of these skills, but Efnisien has to be told what he's doing wrong and how that's not acceptable behaviour and how he's hurting people, to start learning those skills! Otherwise why would anyone bother? Vindictively hurting other people in moments of rage can feel satisfying for folks who aren't being held accountable.
You say no one is modelling better behaviour to Efnisien so I'm just going to pose some questions that are rhetorical:
How many alphas at HIllview are mounting or torturing Efnisien every day?
Does Efnisien have choices in what he eats?
Is Efnisien's opinion listened to more and more, especially in matters of his health?
Do they care about his pain and offer him painkillers when he's suffering?
Are the characters in the story trying to enrich his experiences and help him to become a more mature person by helping him overcome his fears of things like going outside?
Are the characters deliberately trying to expand his support network by helping him see new people and lean on them for help, instead of keeping him in a box and forbidding him from seeing anyone? While also taking into account the safety of others?
Are the characters largely gender affirming once they learn more about Efnisien?
Are the characters actively teaching Efnisien social sciences to help him understand more about the world and human rights, which includes his own rights?
Do the characters acknowledge that Hillview isn't an ideal place for Efnisien, just a good place for now?
Do the characters want Efnisien to have a future where he's happier?
Do the characters allow Efnisien to have his emotional responses as long as they're not also abusive responses? For example, is Efnisien allowed to cry, nest, seek comfort, or even be angry, provided he's not being domestically violent? (The answer is yes).
Do the characters to the best of their ability explain things clearly and maintain their own boundaries around Efnisien to remind him that he can also maintain his own boundaries?
Are Efnisien's wishes largely respected where possible? (The answer here is also yes - such as refusing internal exams with Temsen, or having control over what he does most days and how he spends his time etc.)
Can Efnisien see lots of examples of people talking civilly to each other and often with great care, and not being abusive to each other? Can he see alternative forms of conflict resolution, management and repair?
Is Efnisien offered opportunities to repair rifts that he's created himself, after being cruel to someone?
This is just a start, but these people through these behaviours are already role-modelling a ton of better behaviours than anything Efnisien has been exposed to in the past. And we can see that Gary himself role models a lot of these things to Efnisien directly, including apologising frequently and quickly when he realises he's made mistakes. This is how Efnisien learned to apologise! And he literally has thoughts like 'Gary does this / so I guess I should do it too.' That's literally role modelling a behaviour :D
Gary's actually a pretty good role model, and the only reason Efnisien's behaviour starts to improve at Hillview as well as his quality of life is because Gary and Temsen are role modelling these behaviours.
Like, temsen is technically correct that ef domestically abused gary but he has literally never seen a non abusive partnership and is literally a prisoner in his current one
Efnisien isn't literally a prisoner in his current relationship!
I feel like when folks identify really strongly with a character, it's very easy to miss the times when Gary and Temsen for example brainstorm ways for Efnisien not to live with Gary. Aside from at the very beginning, these characters have actually talked about - in the story, in dialogue - options for Efnisien to not live with Gary.
Like they literally talk about making Efnisien a new room in the headquarters and possibly even building him his own building down the track so he doesn't have to be with Gary! As they trust Efnisien more, they offer many options to him. As the story goes on, they are absolutely not forcing Efnisien to stay with Gary, and nor is Gary. Efnisien himself communicates clearly that he would rather live with Gary than be on his own. This is something that gets checked in on, and more than one option is given to him.
Missing this is understandable, it's a long story, but it also means it's not true that Efnisien is a prisoner in that he's being forced to live with Gary. That's only true in the beginning when they literally think he's just a murderer/attempted murderer who's going to kill everyone at Hillview. As the story progresses, it shifts to 'well he's not a murderer, what are his other options?'
Can Efnisien live a free life wherever he wants? No. That's where the 'dystopian universe' tag comes in. He's not safe to, but Hillview staff wouldn't be concerned with educating him and teaching him independence if they didn't want him to live as independently as possible one day. It's not like Gary has to try to get Efnisien comfortable with going outside and experiencing the outside world, and it's not like he has to encourage Efnisien to meet omegas and betas etc. to hear different opinions, y'know?
But yeah the role modelling is happening: Efnisien's showing more and more tools in coping all the time! He's been growing them since the beginning of the fic. He's learned to communicate better. He's learned how to articulate what he wants and doesn't want more clearly. He's learned how to care more for others even if he often misses that he has the power to really hurt them. He's learned more (not less) confidence. He's having less (not more) trauma responses. He's learned how to trust in the people around him more, so he's starting to talk more about his experiences of gender. He's learned that what he went through was wrong, and is sharing more about the abuse he suffered.
These things would not be happening in a story where people weren't giving him the tools to cope with his life or weren't showing him ways to communicate differently.
The reason Efnisien talks more clearly and articulately now in the story, the reason he laughs more, cries more (which is more open/honest imho and healthier than repressing it), talks more, talks about his past more, expresses his opinion more is because Hillview has been equipping him with more tools to live a richer life pretty much as soon as they realised he's not going to just murder people at the drop of a hat.
In some ways they're showing more trust than our society would because like, attempted murder could land him in jail for a while in our society, y'know?
The reason they haven't paired him with an actual psychologist is that they don't have any peak alpha psychologists and Efnisien can use alpha persuasion on anyone else, and would certainly get angry enough in therapy to use it. We only need to look at how Efnisien responded to Dr Gary in Falling Falling Stars sometimes in therapy sessions to see that yes, this is a guy who - if he had the tool of alpha persuasion - would absolutely use it to get a therapist to shut the fuck up when he felt like it, lol.
But yeah, as always, if folks are feeling really uncomfortable when reading something I've written, it's often intentional. You're right, Efnisien's situation is unfair. A few of the specifics you've brought up aren't true, and have missed things in the story, but it's still not a fair experience, it's not always a pleasant experience, and it's...pretty dystopian!
When we get really deep into our emotional connection to a character, it can still help to remember that the situation often isn't exactly the same as it feels. But this story also has the tags: darkfic / disturbing themes / dystopian universe for a reason! The visceral discomfort is a feature, not a bug.
#asks and answers#underline the black#underline the rainbow#falling falling stars#efnisien ap wledig#dr gary konowalous#ohlo ohlo temsen#a very long response sdfklfjas basically yes it's unfair#it's not *as* unfair as you say#but it definitely *feels* that unfair in the moment#especially the chapter where temsen lectures efnisien#temsen himself acknowledges that the situation isn't fair#and gary chastises temsen for it#and then gary is very caring to efnisien so you know#it's literally a moment in time where even gary#isn't holding efnisien accountable in the same way sdalfkjas#he's *upset* but that's different#we could have a whole other post about how gary's emotional responses dictate his#reactions to efnisien but that's a whole other thing#if i accidentally called you anon while writing this i'm really sorry#it's a habit i get into sdaflkjsa
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Toucan play at this game
Part two of Birds without feather flock together!!!
this is a direct continuation of the previous fic and it was also commissioned by @lost4pandora <3 this time there's more fluff and just overall softness
[masterlist]
“Pressing in what way? Because I know Wild wouldn’t have been so upset with simple ‘questioning’.”
“I- you remember what you did for me during the war? The um-”
“So you’ve been pushing him about getting prosthetic wings.”
Makes sense why wars has been looking guilty now, if it wasn’t for the fact that they knew it was possible from me helping to repair his back in the war, then they wouldn’t be able to push it so hard. It’s not exactly his fault as long as he wasn’t one of the few that’ve been pressuring him.
“Well, the others have. I backed off after the first time it was talked about because I respect Wild’s decision. Wars however…”
“It - I, I wanted to drop it but the others, well they wouldn’t exactly let me. I-”
“He w’s their shin’n example.”
“Wild’s right, as much as I wanted to let the topic just drop…”
“Wars struggles to tell the others no sometimes.”
Not like I needed to be told that, after how much time I’ve spent around him it’s pretty clear he has a hard time saying no to anyone really. Every time I asked him the smallest favour he always did it without question, often times above what I asked for too. His will to please is often his fatal flaw. He still could have stood up more though seeing how much it affected Wild, they were doing it out of concern, no need to flip out at them yet.
“I am aware. He’s shown that off time and time again.”
“Huh? but it’s only to people he’- don’t shove me like that!?”
“I know. I know trust me. It’s something I’m working on.”
What was Sky going to say if wars hadn’t interrupted him there?
Does it really matter though, what this is supposed to be is learning why this pressing has been so bad for Wild and how to get the rest to drop it. Although the time away from the group seems to be doing him good, his familiar weight pressing into my side as he’s making himself comfortable leaning on me.
“That doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been upsetting him though, does it?”
“Well no it-”
“Yeah it doesn’t, does it.”
They’re both fumbling a little bit now, Wars a considerable amount more than Sky, who’s admittedly keeping a fair amount of this new colder unbothered demeanour of his about him. It’s both oddly comforting and at the same time chilling, without Wild here to help keep the warm in my bones I might have frozen to the touch. I can’t say I wouldn’t want to see more of it.
“So I take it that one of you is going to tell Time and the others to start laying off of him before I take matters into my own hands. Wars preferably? Seeing as you’re the one who’s pretty much the cause of this.”
“Wars should certainly be the one to do it.”
The growl in Sky’s voice was completely new, even to someone who’s been travelling with him for longer; Isn’t a growl usually a sign of a bird being aggressive? Is he getting aggressive for our sake… why does my face feel so warm all of a sudden; and are Wild’s tail feathers poofing up? Huh… Maybe there’s something else to question if we get any privacy from wars later, although… It’s probably better for Wild and I to discuss things first, so that neither of us get hurt.
“I- well, I- yes. I do need to take some responsibility for my part in this after all, don’t I?”
“It’d be the first step to earning both Wild and I’s trust in you back, if you want to do that anyway.”
“Huh - What of course I want to- why wouldn’t I?”
“Why wouldn’t you? Because you’ve shown that you put the pressure of the chain as more valuable than their feelings you fool.”
Wars looked worse than if he were slapped across the face at that; it’s nice not having to be the one to call him out on it either, because Hylia above I know I would have been worse than Sky was. I care for Wars, of course I do, but the fact that he simply went along with this when he saw how much it was affecting my sweet little bird? I would have made him regret it.
Which he knows.He’s got the decency to look ashamed though. Standing with his wings drawn close to him, looking smaller than Sky for once even; although with how much he’s puffed out it’s not that hard to look smaller than him.
“Guys.”
With the speed at which both of them turned their heads, I’m surprised that neither of them got whiplash or worse. The silence was more deafening than it should have been too; the whole forest around us seemingly dropping dead.
“I think it’s for the best that Wars goes back now so that we can avoid most of the fallout.”
“They’ll just question you later instead.”
“Yes, but we won’t be there for the Immediate backlash.”
“You’ll only be putting it off though.”
“You should go back now and tell them we’ll stay here for the night.”
It’s good that Wild feels comfortable enough to be speaking again now, and well I can’t say that having him be so assertive isn’t nice either. He’s still just as cuddly though so nothing was lost, except for maybe a little bit more of the captain's self-esteem as his wings droop even lower.
“Sky and I can go back to the main camp then. Throw ourselves to the wolves for you.”
You can hear the nerves in his voice now; letting out a quiet warble with frantic glances in sky’s direction. Why is he so worried about going back alone?
“‘d prefer if Sky stayed here.”
“Oh?”
That was the biggest possible stroke to Sky’s ego that he could have given the man, made immediately clear by how much he puffed himself up and started getting flustered. Even going so far as to let out the softest little trill, competing with Wild for the cutest bird. Wait what am I thinking - why am I even - I don’t - I don’t see sky in that way. Do I?
“Mhm, I wanna be with the people I trust r’ght now.”
“And I’m one of those people!?”
“... you don’t trust me?”
“No… not at the minute.”
That seemed to be the nail in the coffin of the captain’s ego, leaving it shattered on the floor now; now he’s just looking between me and Sky for something is it pity he wants? Whereas Sky walked over with the biggest grin on his face, like the cat that got the cream. Since when did he get so damn pretty?
“Can - Will I be able to earn it back?”
“In time, if you prove you really want to. But not now.”
“That - yeah I can live with that. I’ll prove it to you that I will- that I can.”
And with one final teary-eyed glance between us, he turned and left. Leaving the three of us alone. I can’t say that I’m surprised that Wild trusts Sky but to want him here after the argument, well that is surprising. I can talk to him about it later though, maybe we could get him to collect some firewood while we collect our thoughts.
“So what are we doing now? I guess I’m staying up here for the night. Unless you two would prefer some privacy in a bit?”
“I - I’d like you to stay, please. Just, could you possibly give us a little bit of time, a few minutes even?”
“Yeah, some time to process everything would be lovely.”
“That works well, I’ll just go fly around for a bit and don’t worry I won’t listen in on you.”
Now it’s just Wild and I sitting alone on the plateau like we were back at the start of our journey again.
Waiting till Sky was high enough to the point where we wouldn’t have to be worried about hearing anything as he circled the area lazily before going to perch somewhere. Leaving us to discuss everything. Well after sitting down and getting as comfortable as we both could, which meant sitting with Wild snuggled up against me.
“So them pressing you is why you’ve been so stressed recently? Why didn’t you come to talk to me about it my lil fluffball?”
“Didn’t want you overreacting.”
That- that’s fair, I can see why he thought I could have done that.
“But I wouldn’t have done anything that you wouldn’t have wanted me too.”
“Mhm, I know ‘s just worried about it.”
“Okay that’s understandable love, but please don’t hesitate to tell me if it ever happens again. I don’t want you dealing with it alone.”
“I won’t, I promise. Besides I’ve got sky, wolfie and you now.”
“Oh? Sky’s made it into that list fast hasn’t he?”
“He’s a good friend to me, and I know there’s something going on between the two of you too.”
What? What does he mean by that?
“I’m not blind my beloved, you look at him the same way you looked at me before we were together.”
I could feel my face lighting up now. Between everything he’s saying and the fact that he’s pressing kiss after kiss on my neck. My sly little bird trying to stop me from really being able to focus. Just because he doesn’t want to talk about his own issues. If he thinks I’ll drop it over him trying this he’s dead wrong.
“No, no there isn’t anything there link. And anyway we’re supposed to be talking about you here.”
“I’m not bothered, you know. I think sharing you with him would be nice.”
“Link I’m trying to talk about you being upset, not about whatever you’re imagining right now. Please stop trying to change the topic.”
“He looks at you the same way too, wouldn’t you at least want to try?”
#hehehehehehheeh poly sky x reader x wild my beloved#something I want to use a LOT more than I do#linked universe x reader#link x reader#linked universe#lu wild#lu warriors#lu sky#lu sky x reader#lu wild x reader#bird au#moss✦writes#commission
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Facultative
It seemed like every day of travel got longer. Even now with Katara and Zuko coming to a peaceful resolution to their issues, the tension hadn't broken over the group.
"Once we get to Ember Island, it'll get better," Suki promised them all. "My troop got antsy like this when we were on duty, too. We just need a break, that's all." This was met with grumbles of disbelief, but Aang was grateful that someone other than him was trying to be the voice of optimism. That role usually fell to Katara, but she had been quiet and withdrawn since she and Zuko had come back from finding Yon Rah. Oddly enough, only Zuko seemed to be able to get more than a few words from her at a time. When they stopped for rest, they would often end up slightly away from the group, falling into hushed conversations, broken up by Zuko occasionally running to get her a drink or a snack, or to handle a chore Katara usually did. She assured her friends she was fine, though. Just tired.
That was the over all sentiment of the rest of the group, too. Even Appa was showing signs of strain. Aang scratched his friend's neck with a concerned frown. They would have to rest that night. They'd all been hoping to make it to Ember Island by nightfall, but Aang knew he couldn't keep pushing his flying bison the he had been. He told the rest of his friends and was met with groans and complaints, and then grudging acceptance. Aang steered Appa toward a small island. It was barely big enough for the name, but there were shrubs and a grasses and small trees, hinting at fresh water nearby.
Once everyone had slid down from Appa's saddle, Aang set to making him more comfortable. He loosened the saddle, promising Appa that he would remove it completely once they made it to Ember Island and wouldn't have to leave for a while. Then, while the others set up camp, Aang wandered around with Appa, looking for a good place for him to graze. Appa stopped every so often to munch on some of the grass growing up from the greyish soil, but he didn't seem terribly interested in it. At one point, Appa stopped under a tree. It was a youngish tree, with tender green branches. This Appa eyed hungrily, but Aang gasped and nudged Appa gently.
"No, Appa," he said, pointing at one of the branches his friend had been eyeing. There was a bird's nest with new hatched chicks chirping loudly. The mother bird flew in and stood on the edge of the nest, trilling angrily at Appa. Aang chuckled and nudged Appa again, urging him gently to move on. But Appa didn't move to Aang's surprise. Then to Aang's horror, Appa leaned up, mouth opened wide, and chomped down on the branch, nest, chicks, and bird all. Before Aang could say another word, Appa began chewing, silencing the muffled tweets and chirps. Aang gagged at the sound of crunching, knowing that some of it was bones.
"Appa..." Aang gasped. Appa turned one large brown eye on his boy and kept chewing, thoroughly unbothered. Aang felt a flush creep up his neck and to his cheeks. He grabbed Appa's reins and tugged him back to camp. "That was bad, Appa! I can't believe you did that! Come on, we're going back to camp, and you can eat the grass where I can see you."
Appa groaned in protest, tugging against his reins trying to get back to the tasty tree, but Aang was persistent, and Appa didn't want to hurt him. He allowed the boy to lead him back to camp where there was little to eat except the bland, dry grass. The others looked up in surprise when Aang arrived back, still scolding Appa.
"What happened?" Sokka asked. Aang, still fuming, tied Appa's reins to a boulder.
"He ate a nest of birds!" Aang told his friends, outraged. When they exchanged confused glances, Aang rolled his eyes. Of course, they wouldn't get it. Aang could smell the meat they'd begun roasting for dinner.
"Appa is a vegetarian," Aang said, by way of explanation. More glances went through the group, this time more uncomfortable than confused.
"Well, sure," Katara said hesitantly. "For the most part." Aang turned to her, stunned.
"What do you mean for the most part?" he demanded.
"Well..." Katara shrugged, looking at her friends for help. "Well, it's just that Appa has eaten meat before."
"No he hasn't!" Aang scoffed. "Appa's been a vegetarian for his whole life!"
"I've seen him eat meat before," Katara told Aang gently. "Many times."
"Appa's been sneaking meat and you didn't tell me?" Aang gaped at Katara in horror.
"He hasn't been sneaking it," Katara said. "Last week he ate a rock squirrel. He caught it right where I was setting up my tent."
"I saw him catch and eat a tree hare," Sokka offered helpfully. "He's actually a pretty good hunter for his size."
"He catches a lot of animals just grazing on grass," Toph said with a shrug. "I thought you knew."
"Of course, I didn't know!" Aang shouted. "If I knew, I would have put a stop to it!"
"Aang," Zuko spoke up. "You do know that most animals eat meat, at least occasionally, right? Even the ones that live off of plants eat meat sometimes."
"Not flying bison!" Aang insisted. "Not Appa." He turned to his friend, who was grazing lazily. Appa didn't seem to have a care at all. Not about eating meat, not about how betrayed Aang felt. Aang stood watching him in stunned silence. Then he felt a warm slender arm slip around his shoulders.
"Hey," Katara said gently. "Why don't you come sit and calm down. I made you lentils and wild rock tubers." Aang allowed her to steer him away from Appa. Toph went in behind him and freed Appa from the boulder. He grunted at her gratefully before lumbering over to a small, green bush to graze. Suki and Sokka stood behind Aang, as if to shield him from the sight while Katara and Zuko gave him his dinner and a cup of water.
"You want a blanket?" Katara asked. Aang shook his head, but Katara went over to find one just in case. Zuko patted his back in a way that was intended to be comforting, but just felt stiff and awkward.
"I know how you feel about eating meat," he said. "But you have to understand that you not eating meat is a choice, and animals don't have the ability to make that choice. When they eat, it's based on instinct.
"Appa's not just some animal," Aang held stubbornly.
"I know he's not," Zuko said. "He's your friend, and he's very smart compared to a lot of other animals. But he is still an animal. It's his nature to eat what he needs when he needs it. It doesn't change anything about him."
Aang disagreed, but he knew he'd find no support among his friends. The problem, he convinced himself, was that Appa was now living with meat eaters. Aang could admit to himself that he, too, got curious about meat from time to time. No wonder Appa had, too. All Aang needed to do was keep a closer eye on his friend and keep him from making poor choices. After all, the monks had told him that flying bison, like airbenders, got their abilities from keeping pure. He would keep Appa away from meat for his own good.
Across the clearing, Appa had moved onto a new bush. This one had the most deliciously tart berries. Appa paused midchew and nosed the ground beneath the bush. He could smell a seagrouse nest nearby. Maybe if he was lucky, he'd get another bird before they had to leave the island.
#atla#appa#aang learns the concept of facultative herbivores#circle of life#zutara#mostly in subtext but still#inspired by a casual geographic video
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disheartening.
▼ huuuge spoilers.
▼ sam x reader
▼ sam confesses to you.
you already knew of firefly's true identity when she felt comfortable enough showing you her true colors. the two of you were already close as it is, but the moment she introduced herself as the stellaron hunter, you were confused about your friendship. were you truly allies or enemies?
the memories the both of you made together... where she lead you to the scenic view of penacony, where the both of you spent time together playing games in the arcade area...
and when she revealed herself to be your enemy, you were confused. stellaron hunters are supposed to be your enemy—why hasn't she harmed you in any way? she protected you, even.
you sat there, in the same scenic view that firefly originally shown you in the past, pondering to yourself...about everything that has happened to you so far. you were lost in thought, until you heard metallic footsteps approach you from behind.
immediately, you materialized your weapon, spinning around to see who it was—only for firefly—no, sam—to reveal himself.
"... firefly?"
you questioned, unsure if he was a friend or foe at this point.
"what are you doing here?"
you hear sam sigh through hid armor as he approached you, seating himself on the bench as he gazed upon the horizon. "i wanted to see you. i had a feeling you'd be here." he looks towards you, and even with that helmet on, you could tell he was softened by your appearance.
"you wanted to see me? ... you aren't going to try to hurt me, are you?"
sam shook his head, "no. there's something i wanted to tell you."
"...why now? i have no many questions, and—"
"i know, (y/n), i know you have alot, but i can't answer them now... because i have something more important to tell you."
the man in armor pats the spot next to him, and you were reluctant to sit. but you dematerialized your weapon as you sat next to him, closely, even. he felt relieved that there was some trust you had for him, but... still.
a stellaron hunter. your enemy.
"... from the memories we had together when you were with 'me', i found myself lost in my feelings for you."
you paused. you look from the scenic view, then to sam with a puzzled look. "what are you saying?"
"i'm saying..." a sigh. he was quiet. you could tell he was vulnerable with you at this very moment.
"... (y/n), i'm in love with you."
you froze up, your heart began to pound when you heard his confession. you were silent, unsure how to respond.
"i... i don't know what to say," you murmur, "is this another trick? i... i'm sorry, i just-"
"i understand." sam says, shaking his head. "i just needed to get that out there. we're... naturally enemies, after all. and we've fought before, and i've held back. i definitely did not wish to hurt you."
you were quiet. what were you supposed to say? you weren't sure of your feelings anymore, and... you wanted to leave. your heart began to race and you began to feel light headed. your trust issues, they were... you just didn't know anymore.
so, you got up.
"i-i'm sorry. i just... firefly, i don't know." you say sam's real identity instead, "i... i just... i'm sorry."
that was when you immediately dismissed yourself, quickly exiting the scene. your eyes teared up, your heart aching.
you weren't sure what to do. you felt your world spin, and spin, and spin.
what could you do or say in a situation like this?
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Resurface 20 - Reason
What went before.
So many good fics posted today you really don’t need any more but this has been on my mind most of the afternoon so I’m posting to stop myself tinkering further otherwise I have zero self-control and it’ll become even more of a monster. Ignore it until tomorrow and read the other stuff first.
This section didn’t go the way I thought at all. I had a very definite plan but… in the end, it felt trite and certain characters weren’t yet in the place they could either adequately deliver or receive the lesson that is needed. It’s not the right time.
So… instead we have Scott making some questionable decisions and Virgil… well… um... you know… *gestures helplessly*
💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙
“Hi short stuff… I missed you.”
Virgil’s eyes widened momentarily then narrowed before he turned away and started pointedly at the ceiling.
“Stop it.” The whisper was quiet but the command was clear.
“Stop what?” Scott hissed back.
“Stop pretending.”
“I… I’m not!”
The hurt indignation nudged both the pitch and the volume of his denial up a notch too far and Alan was suddenly bolt upright. Scott didn’t miss his youngest brother’s hand curling protectively over Virgil’s. Where Scott’s should have been.
“Alan, please would you fetch Grandma?”
Virgil tensed and shuffled closer to Alan, whose gaze darted between the two of them like a puppy not knowing which whistling owner’s heel to run to.
“But… Scott, she said… I mean… um…”
“Damnit, Alan I’m not going to hurt him!” Scott’s voice cracked painfully and he gritted his teeth to steady his jaw.
“If you’re not here to do your job and give him his life back I don’t want to talk to you.” The voice from the bed was deadly calm.
“Alan, Grandma. Now.”
Alan prised his hand from Virgil’s grip and hastened to the door with many a panicky backward glance.
Scott collected himself and walked slowly and around the foot of the bed towards Alan’s vacated seat, focusing hard on maintaining a relaxed, unthreatening posture. Which clearly didn’t work at all because he was surprised by the snarl from the bed
“Get away from him. You’ve done enough.”
Scott couldn’t restrain the double take. Nor could he ignore the sinking feeling as he noticed how, despite having shuffled into a seated position, Virgil’s hand remain curled on the sheet as if Alan still held it. And… there was the cat-like movement of his brother’s head as he leaned into a ghostly hand for comfort.
Scott retreated hurriedly until his back hit the wall, sending a throb of pain through his left shoulder. What was he doing? This was precisely what the psychiatrist, via Grandma, had warned him about. But he just couldn’t leave well enough alone.
He couldn’t just stay away.
Which was why he was edging forward again, but on the other side to where… the other one… appeared to be. He knew he mustn’t pose a threat to… it. Him. Ugh. He bent to pick up the sketchbook and placed it carefully on the bedside cabinet.
Alright, so for the moment he had to pretend be Dad. Ironically not a new role for this life-long Jeff Tracy understudy. Only… this time he needed to handle things better than his father had. Taking a breath he tried to ignore the feeling he could combust under his brother’s glare and to work out how best to defuse the situation.
The height difference wasn’t going to help, so he crouched again, wincing at the strain on soles of his feet and looked up into the brown eyes with as much love as he could convey.
“I’m sorry, Virgil.”
“Hmmm.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. Or scare you.”
“It’s not about me!”
“Or Scott. Or any of you.”
Virgil’s hand curled tighter over the sheet.
“I’m sorry I left. I didn’t mean to.”
Virgil glared at him and Scott fought the urge to gulp and look away. In the end Virgil broke eye contact first with a sigh and redirected the laser gaze to the ceiling again.
“This is pointless. I knew you wouldn’t get it.”
“What don’t I get? I want to get it.” The eye roll encompassed Virgil’s entire face. “I really want to understand. What I did. Please tell me what you are thinking… I promise I didn’t mean to leave you all… I didn’t know…”
“For goodness sakes Dad get your head out of your ass! This isn’t about your accident.”
Scott mentally scrambled to regain control of his jaw.
“Then… what?”
Virgil emitted the kind of frustrated yell usually reserved for when he found celery crunch bar wrappers in Two’s air intake for the third day running. Only worse. Much worse.
“It’s what you left behind.”
Dad would probably have some kind of a clue what this was about… so Scott tried to pretend he did too, forcibly restrained the bewildered look trying to make its way on to his face and inclined his head encouragingly the same way he did to ranting Board members… the same way he remembered his father doing those times when younger Scott got himself all worked up over a problem.
“Go on. Please.”
Virgil seemed distracted by whatever… whoever… he saw on his left… Scott recognised the eyebrow-based form of argument usually directed at himself when they were in public. Then he shushed the interloper impatiently and turned back.
“It’s Scott… you shouldn’t have… it’s too much! It’s not right! He…”
Suddenly something snapped inside. Scott found he couldn’t sit there and calmly listen to Virgil tell his father why it was a mistake to have left them in his care, that he wasn’t coping. That he wasn’t enough.
He had to fix this.
He grabbed his brother’s right hand in both of his and struggled to his feet.
“Virgil? Virg, buddy it’s me. I’m Scott. Please… I… I need you to see me. Please look at me. Really look. It’s me.”
His little brother stared at him, his eyes full of pain and confusion. His expression softened for a moment and Scott’s breath caught as he hardly dared hope. But then he looked to his left and up, tilting his head slightly as if listening to someone Scott couldn’t see or hear. Someone the same height as him who inspired that look of devotion Scott had never even realised was there until it was gone. The ‘other’ Scotty - the one Virgil seemed to be putting his trust in right now.
Real life Scott did not trust him one bit and his racing heart was pumping blood so cold a tiny part of his mind was distracted by wondering if his organs could get frostbite.
“Prove it.”
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#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds#thunderbirds fanfiction#scott tracy#virgil tracy#earth&sky#earth and sky#idontknowreallywhy fanfic#resurface fic#thunderangst#Tw: psychosis#Tw: mental health
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Save Her (Part One)
Leon Kennedy x Reader
Summary; Leon's fiancee has been captured by an underground black market group. He needs to save her, but once he does, he needs to prepare for her recovery.
CW; hurt/comfort, captivity, swearing, blood/bruising, mild suicidal thoughts. (lmk if I missed anything)
Three weeks. For three weeks his best friend, no, fiancée, has been missing. And after all that time stressing, all those sleepless nights, he's got a solid lead. An underground gang that sells bio-weapon prototypes. They buy blueprints off the black market and build them to sell to high bidders. With the intel Hunnigan found, they gotta be the ones who have her. The question is, why would they take her? They better not be experimenting on her. He'll have to put a bullet through every head, just like the undead he spent most of his life killing. Maybe he'll do it anyway. When he came home from work one day, he found the door broken open, many signs of a struggle, but they still got her. No ransom notes, nor blood. The anger in his eyes was strong, they can't just take her away like that. She's going to come home safe and sound. She has to.
“The location has been sent to you, but you'll need to be careful getting down. There's likely going to be some form of security, definitely cameras. Keep your head down.” Hunnigan explains as Leon, Chris, and Rebecca gear up. Leon knew he couldn't do this alone, he needed his friends. Jill is on another mission, and Claire is traveling for TerraSave. Chris wasn't going to let him do this in the state he's in. Barely a wink of sleep, very little food in his system. He had to force him to do both just so he wouldn't kill himself. He can't save her when he's passed out on the ground. “Head to the warehouse, clear the area, and find the hatch. The rest I won't be able to help much with.” She finished explaining, earning a nod from Leon.
“Got it, thank you, Ingrid.” He says softly. Ingrid gives a hint of a smile.
“I care about her too, bring her home safely.” She states, pointing at them. Leon chuckles and gives a two finger salute. The three of them are off in no time, settling into Chris’s jeep before taking off. Rebecca looks through her computer for possible access to the cameras at the warehouse.
“It doesn't seem like there are many camera's underground, just in the warehouse itself. So I'm guessing there might be some muscle down there. Judging by some old files, their number of sales on the black market have increased by 40% in the last three months.” She explains to the men. Leon's leg bounces anxiously as he listens, Chris frowning as he thinks.
“I just don't understand, what do they want with Y/n?” The muscular brunette asks. Rebecca hums and types for a couple of minutes before answering.
“My guess, using her knowledge as a biologist to build their newest experiment. Though I can’t seem to get through this inscription, so I won’t know for sure until we get there and see it for ourselves.” The professor explains.
________________
The echoes of men cheering down the hall caused a spike in her heart rate. The cold floor of the cell she’s on makes her shiver as she sits in only a dirty hospital gown and undergarments. Her hair is greasy, and knotted. She'd kill for a shower if she wasn't so weak. Y/n hugged her knees to her chest, the chains connected to her ankle making a clanking sound. Bruises and cuts litter her skin, all that fighting ended in such pain. She just wanted to be home, resting in bed with her soon to be husband. But those words from the fuckers that took her. They haunt her, every day she starts to believe them.
“He's not coming for you, doll."
“And even if he did, he won't love you.”
“You belong to us now.”
She squeezes her eyes shut as she holds her head. Tears starting to prick her eyes for the hundredth time since she's been stuck here. Leon would never leave her like that. He loves her, he promised that when he proposed. “He's just having trouble finding me.” She mutters, but still; as time goes on, hope continues to fade.
____________
The ringing of gunshots caused her to wake with a start. She can hear shouting and footsteps all around. Y/n curls up and covers her ears, too afraid to even try to see what's happening. Could be friend or foe, but it's hard to tell at this point. All those torturous nights of scaring her into talk, forcing her to do tests. She's simply too tired to move, to think. She's not even sure she wants to live anymore.
“Leon! Check all the cells! We have to get her out quickly if we're gonna blow this place.” A familiar voice called out, followed by footsteps nearing her cell. Why can't she remember that voice, and did he say Leon? As in her soon to be husband? Perhaps her mind is starting to play tricks on her. That little bit of hope left could be tricking her.
However, the footsteps get louder. A shadow of a man draws closer, and she isn't sure what to do besides try to hide herself. When the footsteps stop suddenly, she peaks her head up slightly. A tall man, fairly muscular and sandy blond hair stands in front of her cell. His eyes are a beautiful blue, but they seem dull. As he sees her, his heart stops, breath hitches. It's her, his future wife. Y/n stares at him in disbelief, this definitely has to be a trick, that man looks just like Leon.
“Y/n..” The sound of her name was breathy, but it immediately made her feel a sense of comfort. His voice, deep and smooth, it's very soothing. Though she still can't be sure that her mind isn't playing tricks. She hugs herself tighter, shaking as he approaches slowly. He kneels down in front of her, worry and sadness clear in his eyes. He frowns and slowly reaches his hand out towards her face. A whimper escapes as she tenses, which only makes him feel worse.
“It's me, baby. It's Leon.” He says softly, managing to graze his fingers along her cheek. Her eyes widen, they look almost lifeless to him. They become glossy as tears quickly begin to pour.
“You're- you're really.. here?” She asks quietly, earning a nod from the blond. The tears fall heavily down her cheeks as a loud sob racks her body. Leon quickly grabs her hands, trying not to let himself fall apart because he just can't. He has to be strong for her, he needs to get her to safety. Chris runs by and hears her cries, stopping in his tracks. He looks over and his eyes widen. He begins to step into the cell, noticing the chains. He then pulls out a set of keys that he collected from one of the guards.
“Leon, here.” He calls softly, giving him the keys. Leon looks back and smiles thankfully. “Where's Rebecca?” He asks, quickly unlocking the chains around Y/n’s ankles.
“Grabbing the files so we can figure this out. Let's go, quickly.” Chris states before rushing out. Leon looks at his fiancee and cups her cheek.
“Baby, I'm gonna get you out of here, okay? Just hold on to me.” He watches her head nod in acknowledgement before carefully lifting her up. She grabs his vest as he carries her bridal style, following where Chris went. Her glossy eyes wander around tiredly as they move. Everything feels fuzzy, the sounds of gunfire become muffled. Even Leon's voice fades in and out, but when she realizes he's talking, she looks up at him slowly. He holds her close, realizing how pale she is. When they finally find Rebecca, she goes to Y/n to check on her.
“We have to get her to a hospital. Now.” She states with a firm tone. The two nod and get what they need. Chris sets up some C4 in the computer room before they all rush out. Another group of guards enter the hallway, guns blazing. Leon takes cover, shielding her from harm, while Chris and Rebecca clear them out. Once they're all down, they run out to the warehouse and jump into the jeep. Leon looks down at his lover to see she's unconscious.
"Shit, Y/n!" He calls, trying to shake her awake, but she's out cold. He feels her neck for a pulse, luckily it's there, but faint. He shouts at Chris to hurry, and Chris detonates the bomb before speeding to the hospital.
Please be okay.
~~~~~~
A/N; Welcome to the first part of my first little series! Hope you enjoyed it, more to come soon!
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x y/n#fanfic#resident evil#chris redfield
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Echoes of Pain (now on AO3)
“Do you think you have a soulmate?” he asked, deciding to rip the band-aid straight off.
“I know I do,” Dream replied, and George felt like his heart was about to skip out of his chest. “I felt it once when I was very young, she must have fallen or something and hurt her knee quite badly. My knee wouldn’t stop hurting for a week. I always thought it was a bike accident or something.”
George’s heart stopped altogether. “Skateboard,” he whispered. He heard Dream gasp on the other end.
“Say that again?” Dream said incredulously.
“It was a skateboard accident. In May of-“
“2008,” Dream interrupted George. For a minute there was silence between them, both of them lost in their own thoughts after learning they were each other’s soulmates. Then:
“You’re my soulmate.”
_
or; a 4+1 fic where George is able to feel his soulmates pain from 4'000 miles away
#Honelle fics#go give it a read!#I really hope you guys love it as much as I do#just some good old hurt comfort#I think we all need that right now :)))
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i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness
my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me
i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3
#mar.txt#still very much upset about losing him，but it's kind of faded for numbness now#still not holding up great though especially considering how sudden it was#he was all fine and healthy and then just suddenly started to rapidly go downhill and within like. two days he was gone#he was so weak. couldn't move almost at all，his meows were barely just meow-sounding exhales. the last two things he did were#getting my attention so i would come to him，then attempted to crawl onto my lap and despite me being less than a foot away he couldn't make#it. so i brought him onto my bed on my lap with me. and then at some point later after another sudden onset of diarrhea (which seemed to#take absolutely all of his remaining strength) and i'd brought him back to my bed after cleaning the poop off of him he got my attention to#move his head so he could look up at me. and that's how he passed. looking up at me.#despite everything，he was purring. so weak and faint i could hardly feel it，but. he was purring，maybe until the moment he finally passed.#he was obviously suffering. and we couldn't afford to get someone to put him down so we just did what we could for him.#i'm glad that，at least，he was happy in his final moments. he wanted to be with me and i'm glad i could give him that. i HAD needed to go out#that day but i opted to stay home because i was worried he'd pass while i was gone. sure enough if i had gone out he would have.#i'm glad i could give him the comfort and company he wanted in his final moments. i'm glad i made him happy enough in them to purr even#despite how weak he was. i'm glad he didn't pass alone and possibly in pain.#ive lost a lot of pets in my life. but amos? he's only like. three years younger than me? we practically grew up together. ive known him his#entire life. no amount of being told it hurts to lose a childhood pet will ever compare to the reality of it happening.#i buried him outside my window. so he's close to home.#vent post? i guess?
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In and out of constant crisis... to be expected. Its brutal. SO brutal.
There's a line though, where it is either pain being released and parts processing.. or just retraumatising. And the difference between what makes it one or the other can be so small! And usually to do with if we feel alone or not, connected to S or not, allowed to reach out or not.
Yet we are seeing we survive each time? And it passes. Same with S... we reconnect each time. She doesn't leave.
Today we made a huge leap! An email she sent landed badly. A part wrote a reply, not meanly at all (we never do that and are proud of our ability to communicate these days), but saying how it felt and how upset. But we didn't send... because we knew it wouldn't help. Its how they felt and it was real and valid. But she'd likely feel more defeated and stressed, then we'd feel more disconnected, and the same old cycle. (Also, we figured even IF it was intended how it felt.. we no longer beg for people to understand or care, and that has to be true for her too.) So we didn't send, and instead chose to trust our overall relationship instead of these moments and details.. and just turn up today as unguarded as humanly possible. Which was still hugely guarded lol.
It was SO hard to do. But I am so proud of us. And it went so well. It allowed us both to connect so much quicker and easier and see we are on the same side. We didn't hug her straight away like normal and just hid ourselves not looking at her, but as she started talking and we could hear there weren't bad intentions, we managed to lift a finger up and she reached for it and held our hand. And we were SO proud of us in that moment. It doesn't seem big. But for us it is huge. To be able to reach for connection without going through every detail of what hurt, ask a lot of questions, pick it all through, stay in defense... instead we just listened to how it felt right in that moment. And it allowed us to connect quicker. We made a new choice and it paid off.
She made a comment about us seeming to not want to be there, possibly hating her (kind of jokingly) and we realised that's how it may seem.. like to us it is OBVIOUS we never hate her, always want her. But then to her it is obvious how much she cares etc, and that doesn't mean we always see it. It softened so many protective parts and we looked up and we both smiled and we said of course we don't. It's just all painful. But the pain isn't from her, it's everything before her. And then cuddled in to her. It was so simple in that moment. We are on the same side.
And the whole session was so connecting and simple. Despite the fact we never talked through what happened earlier in the week really.. and despite it being one of the last sessions. It was just simple. The ending of therapy is terrifying but also helping us let go of details and see the big picture. She's SO on our side. We aren't on opposite sides. She's fighting a whole system for us. She's paying for her specialised supervisor she got just for us, even after we arent a client, to help us both through this transition and to help us fight the system as she's a very high up contact. She is thinking everything about this transition through so she doesnt rush things or make mistakes others did. She cares so much. So yeah, she's not perfect, she misses the mark, and she can't be everything we wish she could. But she is a human who wants us in her life and cares deeply and is fighting to get us the right support. We can get lost in all the pain or we can look at how lucky we are to have her.
#s#pls let us remember this#pleaseee can we all stay in this reality more#but honestly! choosing to not pick apart hurts and know that the intentions werent harmful.... so BIG#ofc theres a balance because we cant just let people harm us from good intentions#like k#but looking at the big picture and seeing what really matters#the big picture with k was a lot of harm amongst the love for example#the big picture with s is so much support and care and some mistakes and hurt because we are both human#we could spend the times we have with her pulling apart those mistakes or missings#or we could spend the time feeling connected#like i know its not that simple lol#we never felt we had a choice before#but right now we do!!!!!!#we saw the choice and made it and it was so much better#we need as much comfort and connection and joy as possible right now#and that means maybe just letting some things go#maybe its okay to let mistakes and missings go in safe relationships#maybe shes not going anywhere so if we feel the need to bring something up down the line we can#!!!!#maybe theres no urgency#maybe we can let things go and see how it feels#and if they cant be fully let go we can bring it up at another time#because maybe there is time and space and ????#wild
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hi hello there!! i saw that you followed me and i assume it's in regards to the ravn situation.
oneus is one of my ults (albeit hwanwoong has always been my bias), and only a few months before all of this i saw them in person for the first time. i am in absolute shock that all of this has happened - what ravn's been accused with is absolutely, completely terrible and there is no excuse if he has done it. i did read what's happened and the results of this, and there is no doubt that this will have a massive impact on oneus + their relations to the industry - even if it is true or not. hell, even cya, member of oneus's literal brother group, has unfollowed ravn on soundcloud. however, cya is still following leedo
right now i'm just waiting for answers from rbw. hopefully this situation is revealed very soon and we can have some sort of answer as to whether ravn really did commit those horrendous crimes or not.
wishing everyone the best. thank you
hello there! honestly everything you've said are almost word for word the points i've been trying to make to other people in the fandom—never got to see oneus live before all of this broke out, although i was considering trying to get a ticket to one of their recent stops here in the US. (Hwanwoong is my ult bias as well, btw, followed by Xion, but i did always tend to lean more towards the rap heavy members in boy groups and R*vn was no exception.) decided against it bc of personal reasons and now there's a bit of a relief that i did? i don't think i would have been able to appreciate and look back on my memories of seeing them if i found out about this almost immediately after, tbh, and i understand why you're in shock.
on the topic of CyA—i might have said this elsewhere (maybe in one of my DMs with another user) but from what i've seen during my time with onewe (who i have been following since before they made the move to RBW and redebuted) he is a very kind individual. he is close with several of the oneus members, and to see him do what he did and take it upon himself to remove all traces of their collaborations (while still, like you said, following Leedo, which proves that his issue is not with oneus but with R*vn specifically) was definitely a catalyst to me realizing that the group is on the edge of a precipice at this point.
someone pointed out to me that the wording in RBW's official statement is the kind you usually get among agencies when they've found something to back up the claims, want to gather additional evidence but don't want to alarm the rest of the public—iirc Dawn and Hyuna's first agency, CUBE, put out a similarly constructed statement when rumors of them dating first started to circulate among netizens, and so did Wonho's agency, although his charges were later proven to be false.
i really, really hate to say this, but this is panning out to be oneus' Try Guys moment (sans an actual statement from the members themselves, so far) and that f*cking sucks. i'm not too hopeful of him being proven innocent, simply bc there's so much evidence suggesting otherwise, but TO MOONS deserve closure and so does the victim, who, i believe, is so incredibly brave for coming forward and speaking out about she went through in order that other women/4th generation female idols wouldn't have to experience the same—keeping the rest of the members in my thoughts and prayers over the next few days, bc they're going to need it.
#inbox#q: effulgentfireflies#oneus#God they must be so angry right now#they must feel so hurt and betrayed#Xion especially has always struck me as the shyest among them#like he's very sweet but i haven't seen him talk much during full group interviews#he only opens up among the members when he feels comfortable doing so#he's an ISTJ as well so that makes sense#i don't even want to think of how he's coping with this#i want to give everyone in this fandom a hug rn#bc we all need one#have also seen some people in the tags going 'f*ck oneus/onewe'#and i get that they're angry as well but at the same time#this is not about oneus. this is not about onewe.#this is about r*vn#and what he's done and whether or not he's ruined more lives than what we know of#don't lash out at people who are just as shocked as you are#bc you don't want people doing it to you#news: the r*vn situation
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