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#now taking gf (asshole) applications!
zumpietoo · 10 months
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Errmm....while this does quickly descend into batshit (cuz, again, Barfie isn’t endgame, etc....), and I’d say poor Jug was to Slizzy a placeholder, but “second choice” isn’t applicable.....and doesn’t really matter....
However, yes, she DID throw him away.....there’s no question there....cuz, the hilarious part in this? Slizzy’s shitty trash and always was.....so no cloo why she’s the prize each of them is so obsessed with....
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Errmm....they were together for the entirety of season 6, culminating in an engagement, they were also essentially “together” on some level, for much of season 5----and, if you’re real about it? They started a deep emotional affair at the beginning of season TWO....
I hate Barfie, but it’s always been a thing...
Umm....dude? It IS what happened. Your “argument” is baffling, scarystarey, so now shit didn’t happen cuz peeps had a sad? Okaaayyyyy.....
And for you two? Umm....you should also go look at what YOU post...
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Umm....dudes? Barfie’s canon, in every iteration, currently: depending on what’s returned to, we have:
A) Fuccbuddies about to try something moar serious
B) Engaged
C) Dullard HS sweethearts, with a side of pervy predatory in the mix.....
The show would have to go back, honestly, to moar like early season 4 (at the latest) to make jizzy work, etc, again....because most of season 4 turned into Slizzy seeking excuses to be a cheater....and then lying and then not bothering herself. Literally, it was the season where she shifted from emotionally cheating entitled hypocrite to just “fullbore selfish asshole”.
And I’M just convinced Snorty’s sending these to herself for attention...
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TBF....MM has on a wedding ring, so I suspect it’s Pinkle wedding (or Gossip Clay?)---also, even if it IS “prom”, doubt it’ll be remotely epic, etc....cuzzz lammmmeeeee....but I think Slizzy enjoyed prom previously...and, again, so the Barfie is merely confirming that Slizzy was supremely unappreciative/not good enough for Jughead, so fine by meee....
Ummm.....that’s not what “star-crossed” means, either, Snorty....shouldn’t your fanfic writing/college edumacated ass know that?
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Uhhh....sheepbrain? You’re the one who hates a stranger for dumping your fave, thus costing you a teevee ship (oh and smoking, OFC, the ultimate evvollll), his current GF of 2 1/12 years for “being in the way” and anybody (i.e. yours truly) for daring to not hate him.....I think the “whacky” (no “h”) and “crazy” would be youuuu....
Can you imagine A) doing the above, like sheepbrain or B) sending these to yourself, Snorty? Cuzz.....
Jizzy won’t be erased, but “topped”? Errmmmm I hate Barfie, too, but it is a thing. Also, again, who knew it was a competition?
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Oh yes, Snorty....and don’t forget, write bad fanfic.....dude, you live in the past. And while they’ll also be, they’ll only be there in the past, with you. And, again pretend....
Errmmm....Barfie IS canon, so not getting that.
Ummm.....seasons 5 and 6 very heavily pandered towards them. I think the ones “watching with that attitude” (lolz, WTF????) and hating half the show so passionately are yourselves....again, we didn’t “get 4 seasons.....we had one short, amazing one, then they were split for most of 2 (with Slizzy as an elitist, lying cuntwipe), together, but seldom interacting in season 3, largely separating, with lying, cheating Slizzy in season 4. And almost always using Jug as a placeholder, taking him granted, claiming credit for his accomplishments...
It’s not the serve YOU think it is....
And what “dropped storylines” afterwards? The ones you made up in fanfic/pretended Slizzy was Tabs?
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Umm....no, Snorty, they legit HAD this last season. YOU’RE pressed because you know jizzy isn’t happening ever again....and you trusted RAS, too, so, again, glass houses?
Uhh....also, again, #hey#3????
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Uhhh.....scarystarey, see above. Same applies to jizzy. AND Barfie WERE together all of season 6, so noooo....and I’d say you’re responding with VASTLY moar than a “blank stare and a shrug”....Again, dude, season 4 was NOT a jizzy season....nor, until well past the mid-point, was season TWO....and thanks to PP’s cheating/endlessly splitting up, they barely had screen time in season 3.
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uhhhh.....Snorty??? Go do that rewatching....and then tell me what you see!
Nah, just BAV endgame.....also, you guys are the ones predicting they go “back in time thru the mines in season 5″----all so it’s before Jug kissed a black lady..and now think that happens in the finale. With jizzy fully reconciling, too.
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I mean, she was instantly preggers (and knew it) by basically raping Douchie in the Vale, so, you know.....plus, again, no moar bizarro than YOUR theories....
Scarystarey, it’s Snorty, herself.....
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Wait....weren’t y’all the ones insisting they “block film” now? Plus it’s 13 days and counting.....and one would tend to imagine the finale will take a bit longer to film, so, yeah....they’re quite likely on ep 20, now....
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Conversation
Mirajane: Erza and I don’t have petnames for each other.
Lisanna: Oh really? What do bees make?
Mirajane: Honey.
*silence*
Lisanna: Awwww, I really thought that would work.
Mirajane: I told you, dumbass.
Erza, from the other room: Yes, asshole?
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jajanvm-imbi · 4 years
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Headcanons of Krel living on earth because he’s my favorite and I love him and I haven’t seen anyone do this yet so I feel like I have to
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^^^^^because of this very moment I love the idea of Mary and Darci befriending Krel.
Since Aja,Vex and Eli went back to Akaridion-5, Mother was destroyed, and Claire was busy with Trollhunting stuff, earth gets pretty lonely. So Mary and Darci adopt him into their friend group. 
At first Krel was a little apprehensive to joining their friend group, but he quickly warmed up to it because, he, being Krel, loves the attention.
like I can totally see Mary and Darci taking Krel to like a mall or something and doing those like teen romcom movie shopping montages where he goes into a changing room and the girls judge the outfit until they find the perfect one.
I personally believe Krel would adopt a soft boy look, with like oversized button ups and t shirts tucked into jeans, but thats just me.
anyway, because he’s friends with Mary and Darci, Krel has a new found social popularity in Arcadia.
because of this, Krel would prolly get nominated for Spring Fling king and shit
I would say Krel wouldn’t really care about being nominated, but seeing how he cared so much about the science fair and the Battle of the Bands, he would definitely care
Steve is conflicted because he wants to be Spring Fling King, but he can’t mess with Krel like he did with Jim and Eli cause Krel is his girlfriend’s brother 
Krel notices this and takes advantage of it to mess with Steve and actually tries to win.
like Krel would just dominate the contests, and his theme presentation would be the flashiest and most appealing and people would just generally like him, and that would really worry Steve
like Krel, with four arms would be really good at the Touch-a-Truck-athon or whatever its called.
Krel would prolly let Steve win anyway because watching Steve squirm and freak out over prolly losing the crown and not being able to do anything about it cause he's Aja's brother is much better than any highschool dance crown
also the school 100% asks Krel to DJ future dances and events to save money, and Krel absolutely loves it
He would also definitely do the school play. Seeing how much he enjoyed being in Toby and Eli's short film, and again, he loves the attention, he would totally be down 
Also it would just be another chance to mess with Steve to be the lead. 
Because of this, Ms. Janeth would do another Shakespearean play, but do one of those modern renditions. Like it's the same play just in a modern setting, to take advantage of Krel's Akaridion form like they did with Jim's armor. 
If not in the play he would do stage crew/tech.
Like he would create elaborate settings for them using A5 tech and Ms. Janeth would adore it 
moving on, because home life is pretty lonely with just the Lucy and Ricky for company, Krel loves to host his friends for parties and sleepovers and whatever
and since Krel lives in the coolest house on the block, they love coming over
He hosts girl’s night every other week with Mary, Darci, and Clarie (becauuse she deserves a fucking break) 
since we’ve all agreed that Krel is 100% a gaylien, I love the idea that he casually comes out during a girls night
like Mary would be like “So Krel, are there any girls you like?” and Krel’s just like, “*snort* Girls? Who ever said I like girls?” and the others are like “….....?“ and Krel just rolls his eyes and says "I like boys, ladies” and they’re like “ooooohhhh, okay. Cool.”
So now they spend girls night talking about boys. Claire and Darci about their mans and Mary and Krel about cute boys.
One day the girls give Krel a little rainbow pin and Krel’s just like “what’s this?” And the girls tell him that it’s an earth symbol for the gays and he’s like “theres a symbol for that here? I didnt think it was that big of a deal. On A5 it’s pretty normal” and the girls explain why theres a symbol and he’s like “oh shoot wow, thanks" and he put it on his backpack.
He’s pretty confused the first time someone is homophobic towards him cause like that kind if behavior doesnt happen on A5 and hes just like, “why does this bother you? I hardly know you” and just brushes it off. Its doesnt really bother him, mainly cause he doesnt know the earth insults towards gay people so he doesn’t even realize, but if the girls (or Toby, or even Steve, too) catch anyone being homophobic towards their friend they will attack that asshole on sight. Especially Mary and Steve
Random person on the street: Ha, *slur*
Marry: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM BITCH???
Krel: Marry its fine, it’s not that big of a dealoHSEKLOSANDGAYLENMARYGETOFFOFHIM
Marry: SAY IT AGAIN ASSHAT, I D A R E YOU
Claire and Darci: *trying to hold Mary back* maRY NO
Steve: THATS MY NINJA KICKING SPACE ANGEL GIRLFRIEND'S BROTHER BUTTSNACK I'LL END YOU
Toby: *now chasing after Steve to stop him* stEVE NO
Mary would 100% find out who the rando is and destroy their life on social media. Like she would leak their job, phone number, email, school/college (if applicable) to her thousands of followers and absolutely ruin them with no remorse. And honestly, good for her
Also whilst on the subject, Krel can not drive or cook for 2 reasons: 1. Hes gay and 2. He’s a prince so he’s never had to do either before
Like he can obviously do math but that’s it.
Proof? That one scene in Wizards when Douxie had him drive the airship. You know the one.
Coach Lawrence refuses to get in a car with him at Drivers Ed after the 3rd day Krel shows up.
Krel gets addicted to sugary coffee shop-esc drinks thanks to Darci. Not coffee cause we saw in 3Below Part 1 that he doesnt like coffee, but refreshers, coolattas, frappuccinos etc…? Definitely.
As for warm drinks, he’s more of a tea person.
Moving on
He face calls Aja everyday because he really misses her
He tells her all about school and his friends and whatever and Aja tells him about the changes she’s making to the A5 government
Thanks to the wormhole they visit each other often. Sometimes Steve tags along cause he misses his ninja kicking space queen angel girlfriend. (And Eli, but that's also for another post)
They take turns housing Luug.
Krel genuinely loves it on earth, but he hates the primitive technology so he begs Aja to send him supplies and materials for his projects. 
He would 10000% apply to HexTech for an after school job. Seeing his reaction to HT in Wizards and the fact that “Akaridion tech and magic are so compatible”, he would be the perfect addition to the HT staff. 
The Wizards wouldn’t be sure at first but after he shows them A5 tech and Douxie’s email of recommendation about the time loop thing they made together, the wizards are like “oh yeah we definitely keeping this kid. This is going to be so much fun.”
Their inventions become more and more extravagant because Krel can and he's just extra and the wizards love it.
He would definitely find a way to use magic using A5 tech. But he would have to study magic in order to figure out how, so the wizards help him learn all about magic. And since he's learned everything there is to learn about science and technology and whatever, he's super excited to learn about something completely different and interesting. The wizards are happy to teach him. He would be the first Akaridion to learn and use magic
Like he would make his own staff with his serrator and everything. He's like "earn a staff? Nah fuck that going to make my own"
Speaking of which he really likes human swear words. But he doesnt know when it is and isn't inappropriate to say these swear words so he's gotten in trouble a few times for swearing at the wrong time
For example:
Ms. Janeth: excuse me Mr. Tarron?
Krel: what the fuck do you want?
Everyone in the room: krEL NO
Anyway, back to Krel at HT, thanks to Toby, he would definitely have a bowl of candy in his little lab. More like multiple jars of different candy just scattered around the room. Small candy like fun sized chocolate and skittles and jelly beans and whatever
And a mini fridge, of course.
Steve, Toby and Arrrgh come over to the lab alot to mess around.
Toby has a lot of sci-fi requests for Krel to make
Toby: do you think you can make a shrink ray? Laser blasters? Invisible ray? My own hoverboard? My own serrator *gASP* WITH A WARHAMMER SETTING???? WITH SPACE ARMOR TO MATCH???!!!???!
Krel: Toby you already have a warhammer and armor why do you need more?
Toby: I dont have a space warhammer and armor Krel!!!!!!
Going back to school life, I feel like Krel would take an interest in Spanish class. I mean, his human form is latino and in Trollhunters (I'm pretty sure the lightning in a bottle episode) he said "Si" in response to a question someone asked him, so I feel like he would like to learn another human language. 
I also feel like he would just like to learn about Latin American culture in general since Mother gave him that form. He'd like to get in touch with his human self. 
Claire (when she isnt busy Trollhunting with Jim and the gang) is happy help him learn about Latin American culture and help him with his Spanish. 
Krel, being a fast learner, becomes fluent quickly with a perfect accent. 
Señor Uhl, who already liked the Tarrons to begin with, would really appreciate this. 
Claire's dad would also appreciate this.
Since he has such a fascination with human music, Krel would especially love Latin American music. Specifically reggaeton, since its kind of like techno music in a way and he already likes techno music.
And naturally, he learns to dance. All the styles of latin american dances. And he becomes quite the favorite on the dance floor.
He and Claire become great dance partners cause they both have the natural Latino rhythm and because Jim respects and trusts his girlfriend he doesnt mind them dancing together at parties and stuff
Although, Jim does ask for dance help at some point cause it looks like fun and he wants to dance with his beautiful talented incredible amazing gf and Krel is happy to teach him and anyone else who wants dance help. 
GUITAR LESSONS with Douxie cause in 3Below Krel said he really wanted to learn how to play guitar, steals Shannon’s guitar from the bonfire and is seen multiple times strumming it throughout the series. So of course this is included.
Toby introduces Krel to YouTube and Krel instantly makes his own channel.
of course his channel is called DJ Kleb and he posts his tracks and remixes. and maybe even some vlogs
its a little slow at first, only Arcadia Oaks students are subscribed to it but Mary blows it up by posting one of Krel’s tracks on her own social media and now he has thousands of subscribers
he also gained other forms of social media like Instagram and Tiktok, platforms to post his music
At this point every girl in school wants to be friends with Krel but not in the toxic GBF (gay best friend) way, girls just genuinely think he's 10x more interesting than every other boy in Arcadia Oaks
I think that's it for now sorry this is really long I just really love Krel and I had so many ideas. Feel free to add on!!
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teamsuki · 4 years
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fuck it....................zukki college au
Alright yall theyre all students at the big university in ba sing se
Sokka is a political science/environmental science double major (hes so smart), suki is a public policy major with a womens study minor (hell yea), and zuko is psychology major and art history minor (hes a baby)
Sokka wants to help better his community, and climate change still exists in this universe soooooo when hes stuck between picking two majors hes like Why Not Bot
Suki doesn’t know what she wants to do w her life so she picked a widely applicable but boring major and shes a huge feminist so at least some of her classes are interesting
Zuko…. Wants to do something where he helps kids so hes kinda thinking about being a child psychologist? Or maybe sumn in social work… he wants to help kids that went thru trauma like he and his sister did
They meet… at a party… but its not just any party… its tophs 21st birthday party and everyone is just. Shitfaced. Zuko is invited by Aang bc they’re in the same religious arts class n that’s how he meets sokka and suki who are the champion beer pong team. By the time everybody leaves to go to the bars sokka is so drunk hes crying about how much he loves his friends and then zuko and suki take him to get tacos
Zuko works part time at his uncle’s tea shop close to campus and one day the next week suki walks in! and shes like hey I didn’t know u worked here! And zuko is like hi :D yeah! So sokka and suki start hanging out at the tea shop during zukos shifts and work on their homework and keep him company. He likes them both a lot but theyre casually dating and hes like :(( sigh
Soooo lets skip past lots of angst and pining and FINALLY sokka and suki clearly communicate they both like zuko and want to be with him and zuko is like….sounds fake but ok
They start things off slow at first like going to get food and watching Netflix on the couch and ending up in a cuddle pile and going to the park to feed the turtle ducks and so on
Suki is captain of the roller derby team the Kyoshi Warriors and they always go support her bouts when it’s a home match
Sukis roommate ty lee is also on the team and when zuko first goes to a match he’s surprised to see his high school gf mai there, who is ty lee’s gf!!! So they all hang out and support their kick ass gfs
Sokka drinks too much beer and gets drunk and almost gets kicked out for shit talking the other team too loudly
After the Kyoshi Warriors win the match, the team goes out and drinks and zuko picks suki up from the bars at like 2am and she cant stop telling him how CUTE he is and zuko is just like :)))))))))
And then they get mcdonalds
Sokka is like. Always busy bc hes a double major and a TA for two different earth science classes so hes in the library or tutoring center a lot and zuko always brings him dinner and snacks especially during midterms and finals
For Halloween they go as the powerpuff girls. Bc why not
Suki almost gets into a fight with some homophobic assholes at the bar and sokka n zuko carry her out of the bar and when theyre walking back to suki’s place she starts crying bc people are assholes and then zuko starts crying and then sokka starts crying and then they all get mcdonalds
They all take one unit pe courses together bc a) sukis gotta stay buff for derby b) both sokka and zuko have anxiety and exercise really helps and its one of the only times during the week where they can spend time together (they all have class/work at different times so its hard to get together)  
When they finally get a place together, it’s a 2 bedroom apartment bc one closet would not be enough for all three of their wardrobes
Sokka n Zuko got that Drip
Its also nice to have an extra bedroom in case toph or aang get too drunk to walk home
Iroh stops by once or twice a week to drop off extra baked goods from the tea shop even though zuko always brings some home after his ship
(when zuko tells him that hes in a poly relationship, iroh does not Get It. But who is he to judge now that his nephew is so happy? Plus he loves having sokka and suki around so)
Life in that apartment is v happy bc even though theyre all stressed out college students, there is so much love 2 go around
They love napping on the couch together
Zuko and sokka love cooking n meal prepping together
Suki loves leaving cute little love notes around the house
Suki and sokka love showing zuko movies
Like for example – zukos never seen dirty dancing. That shocking revelation leads to all three of them attempting the Lift – with suki holding zuko’s waist above her head, and sokka behind her holding onto zuko’s hands so they don’t lose balance. It lasts for a minute and ends with them on the floor crying with laughter
So yea basically…..they love each other n they live happily ever after
i also like to make playlists so here is what i think they would listen to if they had a spotify account:
suki (riot grrrl/90s with some rap n hip hop)
zuko (just pure emo. some lorde. mostly emo)
sokka (pop rock n rap... my man likes to dance and chill ok)
BONUS: zuko is the biggest unironic emo… and when suki and sokka surprise him with warped tour tickets (I KNOW LOL DIFFERENT UNIVERSE JUST GO WITH IT) for his birthday he starts 2 cry
He never thought he would feel this type of love…like ever
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natsunoomoi · 3 years
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Oh yeah, addendum to the other post from earlier because I went to bed after I found it, but yeah. I found the spot where it talks about it finally. But just annoyed because I think it was an issue with like textual clean up or my phone browser at the time screwing with me as I went back and forth to the translation notes that it probably wasn't as clearly input into my memory the first time around. I don't have ad blockers on my phone so when I was originally reading it I was having formatting issues that I think distracted my reading sometimes. I still managed to remember quite a lot of details in general for the plot, I think, but I remember it was frustrating to try to get to the end. Checking now on my desktop and the formatting issues are near nonexistent so it's easier to read and jog my memory that oh yeah I did read this part.
But also still annoyed that it's improperly cited on the wiki cuz ugh, that's not how you write a wiki. Proper chapter citations, yo. It is in 81 not 92. *facepalm* Still kind of wondering where that other part I read when I started this book was mentioned? Still haven't seen that at all.
I think also I remember I was a bit more concerned about the overall meaning of what the ending meant too than what Qinghua was saying. Like the way everything turned out in the book it was really sweet and all and I like Qingqiu and Binghe together, but I was and still am really concerned that they only really work as a couple in this book specifically because of the circumstances of the book. I can understand people IRL are repressed or don't think about their own sexuality and maybe discover it later or under the right circumstances, but at the same time the way things unfolded also gives me some concerns. It's more possible that someone who is straight might only think so because it's just the normal accepted type of relationship we see in our modern society so they don't question or explore it so they don't know, but at the same time, I'm also concerned because your sexuality doesn't just change because of one person either. IRL if someone is not into you, they're not into you. I'm a little worried as well that the relationship between the characters is also a little coercive. Like when we're talking about enthusiastic consent IRL it means for all partners and both people in a relationship should thoughtfully respect the other's boundaries and needs, and unfortunately, Binghe tends to not respect boundaries. It makes for good comedy and cuteness in a fictional work, but a lot of young people also read this book and it worries me a bit what some people might learn about relationships in that regard.
Like this maybe a separate thing, but like thinking about the consent in the relationship in this book reminds me of a Reddit post I saw where this one guy was asking for advice about a situation with his gf where his gf would only sleep with him if he put on Sasuke cosplay and she wore Naruto cosplay and basically they acted out her BL fantasy. And like he was very kind and onboard with her roleplay because he wanted her to be happy, but also like when he asked to maybe not do the cosplay, she would get upset and refuse to be intimate with him in any other way. And like, yeah, the situation is very funny, but because this is a real life couple you can see how when only one person bends to their partner's desires and needs, it can leave the other person feeling unheard and empty. As hilarious as it sounds, a lot of people were very sympathetic for the guy and feeling for him cuz like he was doing everything right and giving it a try for her and then also just approaching her maturely and trying to talk about his own comfort in that regard and she wasn't hearing him. So similar to how I feel bad and afraid for that guy, I actually feel kind of concerned and afraid for SY/Qingqiu a little. Like if both of them were my friend IRL, I would legit be worried that Binghe wasn't always listening to Qingqiu's needs. The relationship needs to be an equal give and take or at least balanced, but one side tends to take more and act more selfishly, and it's like, you only feel worried and want them to talk to each other more and grow because you want them to be able to last together.
Still kind of getting into the other books, but in comparison the other relationships in the other two books seem to be more positive and supportive. Like TGCF seems to be the most healthy and functional as an actual relationship.
Also a bit concerned that Airplane's original outline was a teacher x student relationship. Like we can argue it's okay for SY cuz he's not really Qingqiu, but that relationship being the original outline is also risque and that is NG at worst and a huge risk at best. Like it was viewed bad enough already that Qingqiu was written to eye Ning Yingying, it wouldn't be viewed any better if that part of the original outline was in it too. On the plus side the way SVSSS plays out Binghe is an adult already when the situation happens and it is at a more appropriate time, but the optics are pretty bad just because of like ideas of society that a master is like a parent and a disciple is like a child. It's also related to the titles and such that they call each other like shixiong, shidi, etc. They have family dynamics with each other so it's not great. It's not like there aren't some situations IRL where teacher and student become a couple, but in many circumstances it's highly inappropriate. The underage issue is the normal problem. But if they are grown and it is later when you are no longer their teacher I've seen some couples where it worked out, but it's a situation of consenting adults at least. Still a little concerned about the power imbalance dynamics. In IRL situations that's a big thing too. Other than age, one person being able to affect other parts of your life on a whim is a huge stressor on a relationship you don't need. I can kind of understand how it would have worked out in a positive if like Qingqiu had shown empathy for Binghe when they first met because their lives mirror each other's, but like a lot of the other things Qinghua added into the story like the extent of Qingqiu's traumas being played out as asshole behavior became huge barriers. Like I mentioned, with just his traumas it would be very difficult for him to be able to have even a deep friendship with other men, which is similar to how IRL people in real life don't have a chance to explore themselves because of various issues and stuff in society. But also Binghe being ultimately unhappy by just doing what the world thinks he should do and not what he wants on both an in-world level and a meta level. We don't get a whole lot on Shen Jiu, so I'm really curious how that would have actually worked on his end because he seemed really broken, but it's impossible to parse out what of the original plot we can imagine to remove to understand the original outline and how it would have happened. He was very alone and even though the pipa player called him a friend, it doesn't seem like he was able to have a close enough friend to talk with or confide in at all. But is that isolation part of the original outline or part of the PIDW plot?
Anyway, it's things like that that I think about all the time and that's why I end up going into dives into the wiki cuz I want to like think about something and want to check notes real quick to make sure I'm thinking about it right. But the wiki is unreliable. Like also there was one part where it says that the bad cultivation manual was only something the other disciples did to Binghe, but in SJ's POV chapter he literally says that he gave him the shitty one. The wiki also claimed that him pouring tea was also actually an application of medicine misunderstood, but I haven't found any evidence of that either and it's just stuff like that that send me into a rabbit hole that derail me from my original thoughts I'm trying to work out.
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zephfair · 6 years
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Grimmjow, accidental beauty blogger?
Inspired by my own stupid post and @the8thsphynx priceless comment. I was hit by the crack fairy after I realized that I had no idea how Pinterest actually works, so I made this up as I went. And thanks to my friend @dreamywritingdragon I even figured out my Pinterest name! xD I’m dumb.
The vibration of his phone woke Grimmjow with a snort. He opened one gummy eye just enough to squint as he fished under his pillow for the phone. For fuck’s sake, who the hell messaged him at the crack of 1 p.m. on a Sunday?
His head throbbed from the weekend’s parties as he finally held the phone, but peeling his other eye open didn’t help the messages make sense.
Yuzulemon: HI! I really love your stuff, your hair is so pretty! The color is beautiful and it looks so soft! I just wondered if you have any advice for keeping it long? Like, I’m trying to convince my brother to grow his out but he says it would be too much trouble?
Yuzulemon: Also you’re really cute trying out the makeup. You go, boy! That green really suits you!
Both messages were sprinkled with emojis, but Grimmjow still couldn’t understand. They were sent to his personal Jmail account, but he’d never heard of the chick. So he ignored it and rolled over, but the phone vibrated again.
Yuzulemon: Sorry to keep bothering you, but how long did it take to get your hair that long? I think if I can get my brother past the first stage so he can pull it up, he’ll be OK. Did you do ponytails a lot? Or man-buns? It looks nice the way you have it now too!
Grimmjow had enough.
BigBadGrimm: STFU I don’t know who the fuck you are but leave me alone.
He’d just dozed back off when the phone vibrated in his hand. Groaning, he swiped the message open but this time it was from another account.
Oneberry: Hey asshole, that’s my sister you upset. Don’t be a dick and stop posting shit of yourself if you don’t want comments on it.
Posting shit? What? Grimmjow managed to sit up against the bed’s headboard and swallow a few times to fend off the nausea. He’d had a good weekend, a big party Friday night at a sorority and another huge party Saturday, first at a bar and then finishing at the house he shared with friends. They didn’t join a fraternity, but they nicknamed the house Hueco Mundo and they definitely knew how to party.
Grimmjow vaguely remembered getting into a fight with Nnoitra and Szayelaporro about something, but that wasn’t unusual. They were usually pissing each other off over anything from who ate what food to putting the moves on the wrong person someone else had called dibs on.
He definitely didn’t have any recollection of posting anything online last night.
He thumbed out a reply: Fuck you. And your sister.
Since he was awake and cranky, Grimmjow swept through the rest of his Jmail account and saw a series of mails from Wintrest. Wasn’t that the site that suburban moms used to look at pictures of food and house shit? Grimmjow had certainly never even glanced at the site, let alone signed up for an account.
Only he had. Or someone had. There was a welcome email and a verify-the-account email, both of which were marked read. Grimmjow scowled at the screen as he saw recommended lists for him to check and then, to his growing horror, several reactions to “his” posts.
“Oh shit,” he grumbled as he opened one. Then his messenger vibrated with a message.
Oneberry: You don’t get to say that. That’s my sister, you despicable sack of shit. Hdu. You’re an asshole and I’ll post this so everyone can see your asshole ways.
BigBadGrimm: Go ahead, what do I care
The first post Grimmjow opened made him swear loudly. The picture had been taken his first year at university, when he’d still had the super-long hair that he always loudly claimed gave him the most energy and power. His friends had mocked him ruthlessly so he’d cut it off eventually, but he remembered doing that pose one night, looking back over his shoulder, smirking for the camera, all his luscious, wavy hair flowing down his back. It was that bitch-ass Szayel who’d taken it.
To his extreme amazement and annoyance, the picture had already been liked seven times. Under it, with the badly misspelled mess characteristic to Nnoitra, was something about washing his hair only in seltzer water because the bubbles gave it body.
He snarled and went to the next one and the next. Most of them were his long hair in various stages, when it seemed like it had a mind of its own. Each had some asinine “advice” like only washing it when the moon was full or dipping it in beer in between so it could drink and be bouncy.
Then he saw one that he knew Ulquiorra had taken in their dorm bathroom freshman year. Grimmjow had his hair pulled back off his face with a thick headband and the rest tied up sloppily on his head as he leaned over the sink brushing his teeth, his eyes gazing into the mirror.
Under that were some suggestions on maintaining the whitest teeth with frequent brushing and even more applications of liquor. Grimmjow gnashed his teeth as if he imagined them biting into a certain someone’s tender white throat.
His traitorous phone vibrated twice.
Oneberry: You’re at Karakura right? I’ll find your ass and make you sorry. Dick. My sister was just trying to be nice.
Oneberry: You don’t even look good. Who the fuck grows their hair into a mullet that long?
Grimmjow pinched his nose. The last few pics were more recent. They were from gatherings all over campus, with him in various stages of undress, showing his current hair and trademark grin, although he noticed his “friends” had been carefully cropped out of each shot. The last one from Halloween was a video and he steeled himself to press the play arrow.
It was only a few seconds of when he’d been beside Szayel at a mirror, sarcastically narrating the process as he applied the makeup for his costume. He winced at his affected voice as he swiped green eyeshadow in exaggerated swirls all around his eyes and pouted for the camera that he knew was being held by Nnoitra.
There was only one thing to do.
Those bastards were dead.
Of course they had just used his phone to log in to Jmail, so they didn’t even have to make up new accounts. If Grimmjow hadn’t been so hungover and so angry, he might have admired that they’d actually taken that much time and trouble to fuck him over. But he didn’t care about that; he just wanted to wring their necks.
Then he realized that there were a couple comments under most of the pictures, and every single one of them was positive. Even the one that some dickwad posing as him—it had Nnoitra all over it—claimed he used jizz to keep his hair in its current coiffed position. The Yuzulemon girl had given it heart-eyes and a laugh then a thumbs-up.
Well, didn’t Grimmjow feel like a dick now.
He slowly and carefully composed a message to Yuzulemon, carefully watching the autocorrect.
Hey, sorry I didn’t know about the pics on Wintrest. I didn’t post them. Some guys did it as a joke. I just woke up and found out. I’m sorry I yelled at you.
He hit send and then quickly opened another message. Thank you for the nice things you said. If you really do have questions about hair, I could try and answer. I let mine grow all through high school. I cut it off last year.
He waited a moment in silence then even more slowly typed, erased and retyped a message to Oneberry.
Hey, sorry about before. My friends made that account to fuck me over. I didn’t know. I apologized to your sister. I shouldn’t have been such an asshat to her.
While he chewed at his thumbnail and waited for a reply, he re-read what Oneberry had sent him more closely.
WTF how do you know I’m at Karakura? You go here too?
There were no replies and Grimmjow was forced to answer the call of nature and retreat to the bathroom. He didn’t run into any of his housemates so he took a long shower before heading back to his room. He was getting dressed and debating what he wanted to try eating when his phone finally buzzed.
Maybe Yuzulemon and Oneberry had needed time to talk to each other. Maybe they were reporting him to someone. Maybe their family had a weird obsession with fruit.
Grimmjow snatched the phone quickly to see a message from Oneberry.
You’re a sick fucker and your friends are worse. Too bad all that hair must have smothered your good manners.
Well, it looked like his very sincere apology wasn’t going to be accepted. He sent back a single character—the middle finger emoji.
He’d just pulled on his shirt when his phone went off. This time he sat down to read the message from Yuzulemon.
That sucks! Your friends are mean! But you could have explained that before you went off on me.
He answered immediately. I know. I’m sorry. Your messages woke me up and I didn’t know what was going on.
Yuzulemon: Well next time you should think before you hit send.
Grimmjow grimaced at the string of emojis, but he had to admit the kid was right.
Yeah, ok, he wrote back.
Yuzulemon answered quickly. Sorry that my brother went after you. He was sitting here when I got your reply and he’s kinda Big Brother sometimes. He goes to Karakura too.
Grimmjow just had to ask. How do you know where I go to school?
Yuzulemon: *series of laughing emojis* We live in Karakura and your pics showed campus in the background.
Yuzulemon: Oops, not your pics but the pics you were in. My bro is a freshman.
Well, at least that explained that. He felt a little better that they hadn’t actually stalked him or anything.
Nice. I’m a junior.
Yuzulemon: Do you have a gf? Bf?
Grimmjow stared at his phone and didn’t know how to answer. He was definitely not into high school or younger girls, which she must be if her “big” brother was only a freshman.
Then his phone vibrated in a fury.
Oneberry: YUZU WTF
Oneberry: WHAT ARE YOU DOING QUIT TALKING TO HIM
And Grimmjow realized Yuzulemon had been copying Oneberry in on their latest conversation. Shit.
Yuzulemon: It’s OK! He’s nice!
Grimmjow quickly typed I only date guys. There, that should get the brother off his back before he blew his top again.
Yuzulemon: Cool, you should get together with Ichi and talk him into letting his hair grow. I think he would look SO GOOD with long hair like yours.
Oneberry: YUZU IM NOT KIDDING IM BREAKING INTO YOUR ROOM STOP IT
Grimmjow couldn’t help a laugh. I don’t think your brother would like that.
Yuzulemon: Why not? You could at least tell him what a tattoo feels like. He’s always threatening Dad that he’s going to get one but Dad won’t let him.
How do you know about my tattoos?
Yuzulemon: I could see them peeking out from under your hair in the shirtless pics!
Oneberry: YUZU IM TELLING DAD IF YOU DONT OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW
Grimmjow felt weirdly exposed.
Yuzulemon: Here’s a pic I took of Ichigo last week.
Grimmjow felt something totally different when the picture loaded.
Oneberry: NEVERMIND IM CLIMBING THE TREE AND BUSTING THE WINDOW IF I HAVE TO STOP TALKING TO THIS FREAK
This Ichigo had a killer six-pack and was holding up the bottom of his T-shirt to show it off. His mouth was open in a scowl as if he were telling the picture taker not to do it. The picture cut off at his nose, but Grimmjow liked what he saw.
Yuzulemon: Why don’t you two meet up for coffee tonight? He’s usually only in class or at the gym but I think he needs more friends.
Yuzulemon: He won’t admit it, but I think he likes your hair too. *series of winky and kissy faces*
Grimmjow rubbed his hand over his face. This was the strangest and most bizarre way he’d ever been set up in his life, but damn if he didn’t almost want to meet the guy.
I don’t think we have much in common. Thanks anyway.
Yuzulemon: Don’t say that! He likes reading and music and mixed martial arts and all kinds of fun stuff!
Oneberry: SO HELP ME YUZU IF I FALL OUT THIS TREE
Yuzulemon: Here’s his number. Text him directly. I have to go see if he really fell. Maybe you could visit him in the hospital!
Grimmjow let out a long breath and barked another laugh.
But he saved the number. Just in case.
And he clicked on the link Yuzu provided to go to her Wintrest page. After a few minutes of looking through the recipes and desserts she’d apparently tried and succeeded at, he followed her. Since his “friends” had been so kind to make him an account, he might as well not let it go to waste.
He stripped his shirt back off, pulled his jeans down low on his hips and with some twisting and fumbling, managed to take a good picture of one of his back tattoos with his own smirk visible in the mirror. It didn’t take long for him to figure out how to upload it to Wintrest with a special comment.
Don’t have much to say about hair or makeup, but I do like tattoos and working out. And I could give advice to any dumbass trying to climb a tree—DON’T.
He didn’t even have to wait a minute before Yuzulemon liked his post and gave it about a hundred heart eyes.
Ego properly stoked, Grimmjow pocketed his phone when he heard the shouting and slamming doors that indicated some of his housemates returning from wherever. After he dealt them a righteous retribution of asskicking, he might just text Ichigo. He couldn’t be as bad as Grimmjow’s own friends, could he?
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banana-bus-squad · 6 years
Note
1-20, 60-71. Merry chrysler
1: do you have a good relationship with your parents?yeah! sometimes we bicker, but usually we're good.2: who did you last say "i love you" to?out loud? my momthrough text? my girlfriend aziza :)3: do you regret anything?yeah, calling my 9th grade teacher an asshole on accident bc my dumbass can't watch my mouth. also i regret eaiting til the last minute to do college application stuff4: are you insecure?hell yeah! is anyone not? we all have things we don't like about ourselves! my stomach, my thighs, my big ass forehead. i'm also insecure about other stuff, but i won't get into it rn5: what is your relationship status?i have a wonderful long distance girlfriend, and i love her v much6: how do you want to die?i would love to pass peacefully, like in my sleep or something, without pain.knowing me i'll do something stupid and die because of it7: what did you last eat?i last ate a piece of chocolate pie a mile wide (chocolate pudding pie w whipped cream put into it)8: played any sports?i played tee ball in kindergarten, but after that, none really.9: do you bite your nails?yes and i am trying to stop but its really hard10: when was your last physical fight?i've  never been in a fist fight. but just a week ago i chased my brother around the house and fought for my phone back bc he snatched it out of my hand and ran away with it.11: do you like someone?yea, my gf12: have you ever stayed up 48 hours?nope, and i never plan on it its a bad idea13: do you hate anyone at the moment?uh... Donald Trump.14: do you miss someone?i miss my cousin Jenna lol15: have any pets?no, but i want a cat super bad.16: How exactly are you feeling right now?warm and fuzzy bc my gf is complimenting me17: ever made out in the bathroom?no, but.... i wouldn't be opposed to it18: are you scared of spiders?100% i scream for my mom when theres one19:would you go back in time given the chance?yes. i would have loved to meet so many historic figures, and family members that have passed away.20: where was the last place you snogged someone?damn... the photobooth at a roller rink 2 years ago60: do you wanna get married?yes!!!!!! i'm such a fuckin romantic, but i don't have any plans for my wedding lol61: is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?omg hell yes it makes me feel so special62: what makes you happy?so much!!! choir, theater, dogs, my friends, my girlfriend, doing well in school, taking naps, onesies, nice outfits!! the list goes on63: would you change your name?no, i'm good with abbie64: would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?like a peck? bc i gave my mom a kiss goodnight.like making out? it would be very hard emotionally to make out w the last person i made out with65: your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?turn him down nicely, and try not to hurt his feelings bc he's very sensitive66: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can be your complete self around?yeah, my buddy campbell. he's nice to be around and honestly fucking hilarious.67: who's the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?my brother68: who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?probably my best friend bri.69: do you believe in soulmates?yes, and they dont always have to be romantic.70: is there anyone you would die for?my mom.sorry for the long post!!!! but damb these took a long time, thank you anon!!!!!!merry crismin to you!
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thegarveys · 7 years
Note
Do allllll of them! 😊
i procrastinated my hw so much so imma do this now dsghjdfhjhg ty
0:Height
5′8
1:Virgin?
nope ;))
2:Shoe size
8
3:Do you smoke?
no
4:Do you drink?
not really
5:Do you take drugs?
i’m on anti depressants but idk if thats what this is asking but like i dont smoke weed lmao
6:Age you get mistaken for
18+
7:Have tattoos?
not yet
8:Want any tattoos?
FUCK YE
9:Got any piercings?
my nose and ears
10:Want any piercings?
maybe another ear piercing
11:Best friend?
my gf alexis, jane, silas, chloe, maddie, olivia
12:Relationship status
taken aye
13:Biggest turn ons
neck kissing, teasing, nothing too wild ha
14:Biggest turn offs
when youre trying to hook up and then someone starts talking about how they wish their kid would rise from the dead @louheartsharry rdukjghjfsg jk anythign straight
15:Favorite movie
titanic
16:I’ll love you if
you make me laugh, you listen to me talk about dumb shit
17:Someone you miss
i miss alexis so much my heart hurts
18:Most traumatic experience
idk but a really bad one was this one time i was walking a rescue dog at my shelter and she was really abused so she’s super nervous around men and this dumbass man tries to pet her and she got really scared and she was a newfie so she was really strong and she runs into the fucking street as a truck is turning and thankfully she makes it across and i ran and was able to grab her leash but jesus fucking christ i don’t think i’ve ever been as afraid as i was then
19:A fact about your personality
i cannot deal with confrontation
20:What I hate most about myself
my voice, how sensitive i am, my ability to screw everything up lmao
21:What I love most about myself
?? idk my eyes maybe
22:What I want to be when I get older
possibly a lawyer but who tf knows
23:My relationship with my sibling(s)
good i love my little sisters so so so so so much
24:My relationship with my parent(s)
actually good like we fight but in comparison to most parents they’re great about most stuff
25:My idea of a perfect date
every time me and alexis go somewhere like new its always amazing so p much anything with her
26:My biggest pet peeves
when people don’t apologize even though they should, when people guilt you, when people make offensive jokes bc they think it’s funny
27:A description of the girl/boy I like
she’s literally the most gorgeous person in the world she’s like such a force of good in every way idk how to explain it but everything about her is just light and wonderful and makes you feel so at peace
28:A description of the person I dislike the most
this one asshole who sits next to me in math and he’s a trump supporter and thinks he’s so fucking smart and is always mansplaining everything and i have to stop myself from hitting him every goddamn day
29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend
uhhh to spare feelings probably but nothing comes to mind atm
30:What I hate the most about work/school
i hate the fact that i don’t feel engaged or invested in most of what i’m learning and all the things i really care about aren’t applicable and it feels so suffocating to be there surrounded by people i mostly can’t connect with i can’t wait to graduate
31:What your last text message says
i love you so much
32:What words upset me the most
f*g
33:What words make me feel the best about myself
um idk any compliment is good
34:What I find attractive in women
hair, face, body, lips, personality, laugh, clothes, makeup
35:What I find attractive in men
when they shut up
36:Where I would like to live
nyc or london
37:One of my insecurities
my VOICE UIKJSAGHFDG
38:My childhood career choice
author 
39:My favorite ice cream flavor
ny superfudge chunk
40:Who wish I could be
a hotter succesful happier version of myself
41:Where I want to be right now
anywhere with alexis
42:The last thing I ate
mac and cheese
43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
alexis
44:A random fact about anything
i have 2 cats and a dog
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Text
Song of my life
I hate Jay, but I still think about breaking the moral code just to get them/he back.
I don't like their idiotic, bratty, ass, controlling, wimpy, diary of a stolen boyfriend, terror tactics, microsoft nerdy ass, clymphomaniac (Cliff Huxtable Nymphomaniac), military guerrilla style, bronchitis bitchass who snorrrrrrrttttttttssssss so fucking loud in the morning like a kerosene chemical bomb is stuffed up her fucking nose and into her black, gothic, lights her fingers, witch candles and fake dick complacencies all bundled in for an asshole she can't stop from seeking other people, with their own financial insecurities. But yet you steady roasting me??
I hate that I can't just get up and go get a job today. My ass is literally struggling just to pay attention on an application, then when I get frustrated that I can't find anything I'm even fucking qualified for, I get horribly upset about me not being able to do anything about it an just start wanking off for about 2-3hrs of porn just to get a high because I can't smoke weed anymore, and whenever I can't do that, I go to the store to buy processed food and sweets and pop that I don't need but I need to fulfill this need of a high with a sugar craving, and then I kick back into circulation because then I start thinking about how much of an asshole Jay and Jay gf was and then it repeats all over again.
I think too much.
I sneak drinks from my parents special alcohol because I can't even afford buying me some alcohol enough to drown my poisonous thoughts in. But then it gets worse if I drink too much, because then I think about hurting myself and the ptsd kicks in from my momma, dad, jay, that bitch, and everybody else that ever said any mean, rude, sarcastic, and judging me for not being able to grow up like a proper adult. When the truth is, I don't even want to?
And I mean the type the adult my mother and father became...
The corporate job, that you don't even like going to, but you do it because you gotta pay bills, wash your ass, cook, clean, and pay at restaurants because you wife likes to be dined out and took on trips every so often to feel loved and appreciated. Then there's the kids and their automatic dysfunctions to wanting to chip in or help out. All the while, when you come home, you're so tired and worn the fuck out, you can't even build on the dreams or the projects your ass retired to think about doing outside of work because your wife made you cut your hair and be somebody you weren't before you met her.
That's why I don't like marriage. Because I hate being controlled. But I know I need to if I want to settle down and at least have one freaking kid (which I admit took me a long time to even adjust to the idea of having kids at all, until much recently) because kids need to grow up within the first 8-10yrs with 2 parents to grow up with a secure attachment style. And I'm starting to fear, I don't wanna end up a workaholic like my mom who barely even had enough time for me working all the time to cover the household, and then now my dad is the one taking over that role and I see the difference in my sisters now, the lack of their father being able to emotionally support them, like he used to do with me. Cause when mom wasn't there, he was, and I'm glad he was. But now, I keep thinking that maybe if I didn't feel so fearfully attached to my mother to where I became anxious-avoidant, maybe I would have had a healthier relationships with my more feminine relationships and I wouldn't have started to feel like a low life about her not loving me, kissing me, or hugging me enough as a child, like I needed her to be there. It wasn't just me looking for attention or just whining for no reason, I remember crying to myself at night sometimes because I was afraid to call her to my room to help me. Because she was always at work.
And now you think I'm overthinking, but this is just an example of what my brain starts thinking within a whole hour and I just woke up. And by the way I hate the idea of being a depressed mother, postpartum-depression, my mother had it, but I've seen other mothers with it and how it affected the children to see their mothers sad and they became overpleasing, overworked children who blamed their mother's conditions on the reasons why they can't stop people pleasing and stop being too nice all the time, because they grew up in a southern background with biscuits, rice, and eggs that taught their children to serve and serve the mother and father as part of the household.
Sounds like slavery right?
What bout teamwork, cooperation, fairnesss. Not tyranny.
And that's where the loop starts all over again. Because I just came out of situation/unofficial relationship/bdsm-sex-slaveship/non-giving-a-fuck-cgl/toxicship/friendship that was ran by a tyrannist and a colonist working and then not working me to death, putting me on hold, expecting me to wait without a collar of endearment or commitment, and then getting mad when I leave to go find real love, but then my heart keeps fucking beeping like the little reservation alarms from Outback that HEYYYY BITTCHHHH YOUUUU FEEELLLL SOMMMMEETHHHIMGGGGGG THEERREEEEE FORR AAA REEASSSONNNNNNNNN! FUCKING STUBBORN YOUTH BITCH, YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THEMMMMM!
And this is when I get into a fight with myself, because it doesn't even fucking matter because clearly the Co-Captain, Jay, doesn't wanna be involved with us, nor do we know if they were actually playing a role to please HITLER or they really are an abusive, retarded, bastard who doesn't deserve shit, because you know why....
YOUU RANNNN AWAAAYYYYYY TOOO AVOIIIIDDD HEARRRING THISSS DUMBB MFFFFF SAY GOODBYE TO YOU IN PERSON AND NOW WE DONT HAVE ANYYY FUCKKKKINGGG CLOOOSSURREEE AND YO ASSS ISSS STIIILLLL GETTINGGG BLOOCCKKKEDDD
And I hate when I delegate with my personalities, yes, I said personalities, but they mostly feel like masks, because it was an imaginary coping mechanism that my young version of me did to adapt to school, my house, my friends in FL, My friends in MS, and then of course my friends here, I'm always changing and customizing myself like a GTA character in the shop, ready to just take a fucking shower and lay in bed alll day to exhaust my engine, because I downloaded too many computer programs and learned too many parts about someone else's vagina that I wasn't just about to get ready to eat and now Im switching as I talk......
See what I mean. I go from writer nostalgic rant, to aggressive, over freak that just wants to get down, get nasty, get drunk, get high, and go see other people so I can just get over this fat jerk, that (we dont know if they even love us, but nancy drew wants a straight up confession not controlled by their institutionalized gf that hawks their phone and their mind everyday. THEY REEEKKKK OF THEIR FUCKING GF INFLUENCESSS. THAT MANIPULATIVE ASSS FUCKIING WHHOOORREEEE), but most obviously (school Ky talking) this person absolutely does not love me or her enough to respect both women, but especially me, as they disrespect me the most, block me to abandon me, an treat me like a sexy can of green beans to eat later in their storage cabinet, so yes they just see you as a casual sex option to go, no longer respects you, your mind, your body or whatever your opinion is.....because their off marrying the wicked witch of the Midwest as we speak....it could be any day now.
(Mad ky) Why the fuck haven't they got married yet? 2yrs is wayyy too fucking long to be engaged to somebody if they're saying they're gonna get married at the courthouse. Like wtfff just do it already, I can't hold this fat ass bitch any longer from running back to this mf house. Like Ky, leave this nigga alone, damn! We can find a finer ass nigga, with a better job, and a better heart, emotionally available to love you and respect you the way that you need to be treated, fuck that mf.
I hate this bitch (Love Ky) but why don't we just go over there and see if they'll talk to us.
HELLLLLL NAAAHHHHH I DONT EVEN FUCKING TRUST THAT HOE AND FUCKING HITLER ASS GF SO FUCKING PETTYY SHE MIGHT EVEN TRY CALLING THE COPS ON YOU CAUSE SHE DONT EVEN LIKE YO ASSS AND SHE FAKKEKKE ASSS FFUCCKKKK LIKE A MF KARENNNN YO
Forget that hoe, we out mf.
We can't even tell this mf that we even moved in between grand rapids and Flint because mom tried to push us down the stairs and had to live with our grandma who don't even want us there so now she keeps making up excuses because she has OCD and likes her house a certain way, her and her only.
Its been a month since I even got into it with her about a fucking hamster, now my ass is still in flint. Not even wanting to go see grandma till I have a fucking job, cause she always yelling at me about stupid little shit and I only got to stay there for a month. She even got on me about some canned collard greens, man do I highly dislike that mf mother too. Sorry, grandma but you a pain in the ass to live with too.
I hate my life rn....
And its so hard to stay positive. My life sounds like a cartoon that I didn't even write. My looney toon ass need a psychiatrist, but I can't even afford therapy until I find a job with actual healthcare insurance.
Cause my first ever therapy session was $188 that I haven't even been able to pay off yet, because a mf aint got no job, Tommy.
Like wtffff
I need a vacation. From my brain. And my body. My family.
Then there's that good ol' American Television called escapissmmmmmmmm
0 notes
leighasnotebook · 7 years
Text
Title - Hey Future Leigha ;P
So.. I'm broke as fuck. I can't even seem to get a job. A job at a place I dont even like but need. I barely even made it home from internship at the humane society in Indy. I am on BELOW empty. I tried to sell a galaxy s4 at disc replay to get me by and they wouldnt even take it because apparently theres something wrong with it. So that was dissappointing as fuck too. I've been forced to borrow money from my mom who I STILL live with. So apparently I dont even have the abilty to be independent right now. Sure Im in school but I cant even afford to put gas in my tank to get there and I still owe 1000 dollars or more to my school. I dont even know where Ill work after I get my certificate. Thats right.. CERTIFICATE.. not a actual degree. Still. I stupidly decided to get a credit card a few years ago and now I'm maxed out and cant afford to pay it off. I at least have gotten on a payment plan that will make the interest 0% and make my monthly payment lower. My phones fucked because I broke the goddamn screen on it. So no one can even call me unless its on the house phone and I'm not home all the time AND its a cordless that apparently has fucked batteries in it because it just shuts off after like 10 - 15 minutes. I shouldve never even gotten a stupid "smart" phone. All its done is make me feel guilty about the extra money my MOM is spending for it on the bill. And it is way more fragile than a flip phone. Sure the extra shit on it was fun but I dont even need it. I dont care if Im "stuck" in the old times. At least it was reliable. I have grown up in my life with a nice place to live and nice things but that just isnt me. I know when I live on my own I wont live in a nice place and I wont have nice things. Its as if Ive been blindfolded to my actual lifestyle to the point where I agreed to getting nice things. Things Id never be able to afford by myself. After my car got totaled I got a 12k settlement which I had my dad take care of because he wanted to take it to use to get me a new car. Well he decided to get me a fucking expensive newer car.. the accident happened oct. 1st 2013.. I ended up driving a rape van (huge burgendy van with bars on the windows) to and from Ivy Tech and work for about half a year or more before my dad decided to take out a loan for a Toyota Camry 2013! Why on earth would you opt to get me a expensive car like that when I cant even afford gas or live on my own!? Now Im fucked because I cant pay the car payment.. my dads paying it which makes him think for some reason that its his vehicle. No on the contrary it was his decision to spring for a newer car of which I am entitled to 12k of. so yeah now I have a investment in something I cant even use because the insurance is insanely high and I cant afford it. Sigh Im just so fed up with all of this bullshit. If I could sell everything I have right now and just start new, that would be ideal. Sell the fucking Toyota, use the money to pay off my credit card bill, pay off school and maybe have enough to secure a place for me and my dog to live. Because I am not a goddamn straight woman who has a boyfriend to pay for half of everything. I feel like alot of girls live with their boyfriends and get off easy. Well thats not an option for me is all Im saying. I can barely even find a lesbian whos responsible and even has enough income to hold up their half of living expenses.. I cant say shit about that right now since Im in the same boat but still. Even when I do (which I usually do) have all my resources I still cant find a responsible GF. Either way Id still be dependant on whoever I was living with to keep my place. Even if they were a roommate. Which I guess would be the same financially if it were a significant other providing half. anyway.. Ive been trying goddamn hard to get a job. I signed up for Rover.com to watch dogs or walk dogs for people but IDK if my background check came back clean. which it should because I spent extra money so that it would be. Beyond all.. I am seriously just fed the fuck up with trying to manage all of the bullshit that I have to. It feels like I need 3 of me to accomplish all the shit in front of me. I am overwhelmed I guess is what that means. I feel so useless in the world. The only thing keeping me from spiraling into a severe depression is the fact that Im going to school for something that I love doing. Knowing that in a month and a half Ill be graduating is whats keeping my head up. Other than that.. its my friends and animals that hold up the rest. Some days I for real just want to get drunk and say.. FUCK IT ALLLLL. which is kind of what im doing right now.. but guess what? my box of cheap ass wine is almost gone so this will be a short lived release until im fucked again.. and cant even go to a party I was invited to go to on sunday. Im writing very unhinged right now. I need a goddamn stupid dumb job. And Ive been trying to get one for months. Now its even harder without a cellphone. "hey yeah just call my house phone and let me know about that job" just doesnt jive well with me because ITS A FUCKING HOUSE PHONE.. better than nothing but its real fucked trying to get a job when you cant answer your phone bc you dont have one of your own. gaaaahahahahaha fuckckkckck Im just so fucking stressed. I feel like I cant accomplish anything with the materials I have right now. Even if I had some money.. Got a full tank of gas and paid off my monthly bills I still wouldnt just magically have a job. Even if I got my phone screen replaced. Goddamn and Ive tried going into places but apparently Im a dumbass and come at the wrong times. Sigh.. just. fucking. schedule. me. for. a. interview. its not that hard. Theyre like "oh yeah were hiring" but other than saying that sentence they are so fucking unhelpful. "oh did you apply online?" uhh duh yeah I did you fuck. Why in the fuck would I not fill out an application and expect an interview. Fuckin assholes.. like I get it.. youre busy. but hey you wanna know what would ease that? If I was working right now and could take some of the work load off. Everytime someone would call about a job I would be so informative and supportive because I know what its like. Plus if I ever feel like Im overworked- which is alot of the time at those quick turnover jobs- I WANT the person inquiring about a job to get the job. Why? because I need them to take some of my workload off. Thats how it happens at pizza hut at least. you start with a bunch of people and then they dwindle down to where everyone is being over worked and more workers are needed as to not kill everyone who still works there. sigh.. I dont even want to work at pizza hut again but at this point I will take any fucking job I can get. I am being nickeled and dimed.. just like that fucking book I had to read in school. Given, all of it was brought upon my by my own past hand. I cant do anything about the past and its legit my past self just going crazy on a credit card that has me so fucked right now. After I get these cards paid off I will NEVER EVER EVER have another credit card again. I cannot be trusted with it. Great that I know that now that Im in debt out my ass. Yeah yeah and I have this theory that I learn things in life by trial error.. and guess what.. IVE FUCKING LEARNED.. and now that I have im still super fucked. Usually my trial error didnt cause me this much detrimental pain and suffering. usually it was like touching a hot stove and it was over with. but no.. this has been a very slow stinging burn that wont let up. I know.. I know that I will have to kill myself working my ass off and not having any shred of a life to get out of this hole. but the thought of it just really really makes me sad. Not saying It makes me not want to get a job. because NO WAY I need a job ASAP like yesterday. like if someone walked up and would pay me 20 dollars to eat a worm I would. Because it would spare me the shame in asking my mom YET AGAIN for gas money. God I am so tired of asking anyone for ANYTHING. Its the last thing I want to do in fact. Theres only so much you can ask of someone before they decide they wanna say nope.. youre on your own. and you know? Im surprised my mom hasnt told me no yet. Shes really really helpful. I think she understands me but also just wants me to get a job already so I wont keep borrowing from her. Which is understandable completely.. and thats exactly what I want too. At least i dont just sit around getting drunk and stoned all day in my pajamas. Im actually trying here. Theres nothing more that I want to just have a steady income. I dont care what kind of shit I have to drudge through to get to that point. I am so able bodied and ready to sweat and work and give myself away to a corporation for money. But guess where Im going to get the gas money to get to that job? FUCK IF I KNOW lol. goddamnit. I have really done it this time. How did I let it get this bad? How did I let myself fall so far? I dont even have anything else to sell to disc replay and the only other things I have to sell are all my paintball equiptment.. and I dont even really know how I would go about doing that. Craigslist? idk. I am flailing..... my wings are clipped and i cant fly. I have maybe a few dollars in change right now. Man how I used to just throw it in a jar willy nilly when I had a job. Not touching it at all for months and months. and now its all I have. FUCK. my rope is covered in kerosine and its been on fire for months. Someone in this world needs to cut me a fucking break and give me a job. Just 1 fucking person to say "you got the job, heres your uniform, come in monday at 8". I have been able to keep my hope through the worst of situations in my life. I feel it wearing reaaally thin right now. I almost had to walk miles just to get home today. you know its bad when you cant even afford to drive home. When youre just waiting for your car to give out and its screaming "i need gas!!!" You actually make it home and you get out of the car and hug it and praise it. Thank you. Thank you so much for holding out on me. I will get you gas as soon as I can I promise. Its like if you were traveling by horse and didnt have any water or grains for it to sustain itself but it powers through for you. I feel like a huge bum slacker bitch. Like I shouldve worked harder. done this done that. And maybe I wouldnt have ended up in this tight situation. The only thing in this world that is mine is my body and my animals and the relationships I have with my friends. I'm going to call Pizza hut right now. Ive been trying to fucking get this interview scheduled and they keep being little bitches over the phone. Not this time. I wont let it happen. "oh were in a lunch rush" dude. no. Fuck off. lol. Not this time. BRB. ya okay same old shit.. OH the hiring manager isnt here. Okay I understand but why dont you ACTUALLY give them my name and number and HAVE them call me. I know I know I will call the HIRING MANAGER on monday. See? its just a let down. I will call monday and demand an interview. I am more than qualified for your dumb job. anyway.. I know my friends and family will always be around to help me out. But I am a very stubborn person and have always wanted to do things my way and on my own. asking for help is something that I hold as a last resort. In the situation im in I am at my last resort time. It takes money to make money. money for the gas- to go to work- to get the money- for the gas- to get to work. Thats a 2 week process in itself. once I get past that threshold Ill be more self-sustaining. GGaaah! Please.. UNIVERSE! Im begging you!! Give me a job! Please please please please please! I need to get back ontop of it all. Hold out hope... hold out hope... crunching gears inside me trying to keep that train moving. GO. keep the rusty gears going. Keep swimming like Dory says. I feel like im trying to keep swimming but im in a puddle barely sustaining life itself. Gasps of water into my drying gills every couple seconds. All the while "hold out hope, just keep swimming" goes through my head like a mantra. I go from being super hopeful and positive to super hopeless and negative. Sometimes I'm just on this mid-line pergatory where I dont know how to feel or how I should feel. I know that a lot of people deal with hardships like me. Usually just pushing all their feelings down day to day thinking.. eh ill figure it out. Somethings got to give in for me. things will be different and get better soon. This isnt the end of the world. Im not dieing.. yet. But there are times where no matter what your troubles.. you cannot just push it down anymore. You have to sit there and stare into the eyes of a skull and think.. things are going bad. This isnt how it should be. I shouldnt feel like this. Something is wrong in this equation because its not equaling out right. So here I sit. In my familiar place where Ive faced a lot of things in life. In the garage. (wow a disc replay commercial just came on the radio.. how ironic... fuck u guyz lol). Ive dealt with sooo much in this garage. Most of my epiphanies have happened in here. Most of my hardships. At least in my adult life. And when I wasnt in Terre Haute. Always staring at stuff in here. Listening to the radio. Smoking cigarettes. Drinking. Thinking. [insert link to In The Garage by Weezer here] I cant even explain the range of feelings Ive felt in this garage. Love, lust, loss, depression, happiness, worry, anxiety, calmness, anger, thoughtfulness, perceptiveness, desire, turmoil, empathy, regret, sickness, healthiness, Ive felt hot and cold, bad and good, and at the end of the day when I sit here. It feels so familiar. It could be anywhere. but in this little box on the planet is where all these things have opened up like a bud. So many conversations with friends, on the phone, in person. Oh so very telling and depending on if there was snow, dead leaves, flowers, or sun outside the dynamic would change ever so slightly. And as friends have come and gone, people have died or were born, this has been a constant place for me for the last eight years. After I caught a big fish, built a snow fort, or made a drunken dancing video to missy elliot this place stayed the same and was always here. I feel like im confessing a love affair between me and my garage right now.. but I wanted to express my gratitude to these four walls which I believe have absorbed a lot of the things I am talking about right now. I remember when I first started to dwell in this garage. I was still drinking and smoking on the down-low. Didnt want my mom to know. I would listen to the radio and write just like Im doing now except it was often in a notebook. Its the only way for me gain solace in my life sometimes. Love often drove me to worry as I listened to deftones, linkin park, or staind or anything that came on x-103. Id just scribble on page after page I would stop caring if it was legible... That shear fact that id stop caring in general was all I wanted. I wanted to release all my cares into a song or a feeling or a writing. What do I want? who do i need? who AM I ? Sometimes I never know. I dont know things alot. as much as Id like to believe I have every little thing under control.. I never have it all. this isnt to say that its a negative thing. Sometimes you simply cannot wrangle every little thing into a place you think it belongs. often things are flying like kites with brittle strings. they break off and float out of bounds yet still connected just not within reach. Its definitely angering at times. you think.. why cant i keep my shit in check? but if you think about it. maybe it was never "your shit". I really think its better to not stress over things that blow away. Youre in a spot you let shit fly and it ends up gaining its own separate current without you. You cant always be strong enough to keep everything where you want it. It doesnt work that way, you cant control everything. HELL sometimes you cant control anything. and I know how that feels. shit. right now I could still be walking on the side of the road away from my broken down car. holding up my thumb trying to get home. you cant hold everything down with a thumb tac or a bad attitude. things will happen and ya you probably could have avoided some things but I think things happen for a reason. Maybe to teach you that you in fact are not in control. That things are or arent just black and white. Reppercutions.. actions that lead to situations that you have to handle. Its all apart of one thing. you... its you. hah. I mean you make choices.. and theres always a second and third happening. In my case.. it makes me feel like im unintelligent when I make a choice and it causes something bad. Ex. If I were to have to walk home today.. my mind would have been full of .. "well thats because I didnt have enough gas" Well why didnt I? because I didnt have the money. Why didnt I? because I dont have a job. Why dont I have a job? because Im an irresponsible entitled person. I act like the world will bend to my whim when it doesnt work that way. When weve all got the same probability of things going our way. Why should I think I'm any different? why? because of all those times I made it home when my gas tank was below E? what about those times when I didnt get so lucky? that time my car stopped on a highway and I was late to work and I got fired? Its just this numbers game in my head. Will it be okay or not. I never know but my brain urges me to believe yes. youll be okay. and when im not i think well.. It was about a 50/50 that this would happen and I knew that deep down.. so I cant really be too mad right? lets just walk a few miles and get what i deserve. meanwhile I think about everything I could have done that wouldve lead to a different outcome. ya hmm. maybe if i had a job.. id have gas in my tank.. and this wouldnt have happened. maybe..hmm just maybe..? You know when you drive down a highway and you see a person walking it? You can gaurantee that that person is thinking... how could I have avoided this? That person is me that person is you. Walking on the grass on the side of the road.. looking at all the trash people discard from their car windows. Really slows your mind down when youre walking where you normally drive through. You see people zoom by who will get to their destinations on time. Who had the money and intellect to just buy some gas. We all have our days when were in the gutter. When I have mine, it forces me to slow down.. to really look at my life. Why did this happen.... why am I stuck and fucked like this again. Even though I magically made it home today on my below E tank I still see this as a wake-up call. It brings me back to the times when I didnt make it home. I felt like a lost dog. and ya I know.. poor me.. first world problems. Oh man Leigha had to walk 5 miles to get home because she ran out of gas in the automobile that she has available for her to drive 24-7 usually. And dangg. she even had a full meal before this walk.. poor her. I know I know. Its totally crap. Its not like I almost died or was starving and in a desert left to die. In reality, on this planet I am lucky. I am a lucky person. But to say that we still dont have our problems would be to say that anyone with a roof over their head was flawless. It makes me realize that yeah, first world problems are nothing to those in third world countries. But I shouldnt feel invalidated if I have room to improve my life. Everyone in this world has room to improve their lives. I am not solitary in this one bit. in fact I feel like I am unaware of tons and tons of stuff in life. Theres so many times when I just simply dont know something. Makes me feel like I dont know anything about anything sometimes haha. its like "oh you didnt know about this?!?!" uhhh no I didnt. Should I have? Woops? am I squandering my priveledge to learn about things I should know about? When it comes down to it. I am never done learning. I am never done growing as a person. I am so ignorant to so many things simply because I have never been exposed to them. I cant walk the earth acting like I have a grasp on everything when I dont. I dont know what anyone else goes through day to day around the world.. I cant compare my life to anyone elses if I've only lived my own separate life. I can relate to people of course but I do not think that anyone can fully understand how something feels unless it happens to them. sure ill say "oh yeah Ive felt that before" or "I felt like that when... etc etc" but I dont know how it feels through someone elses eyes, in someone elses shoes. What Im trying to say is that I have had some really really hard times. Personally I feel that they are HARD TIMES. For me and maybe me only. Maybe others would look at these "hard times" and laugh and say "HAHAH you think thats hard?". But that being said this is how I feel and it cannot be undermined by anyone. Beyond all these technicalities that I decided had to be stated, right now I feel as though I have entered the abyss. I feel like Im in a place that is neither here nor there. I am a real nowhere man who has no real nowhere plans. I used to want to get a tattoo that was the symbol for "nobody". It was a onyx or something I dont remember the spelling. For a long time I thought I was nobody. I thought I would just bend to the whim of anything or anyone. And at the time, I thought that was just me. Me was nobody since I felt like everybody but nobody at the same time. Then I thought.. hmm I dont think I should get this tattoo because what if someday I become somebody. And im glad that I didnt get that tattoo because I AM somebody. I guess there are sometimes that my past self is right about how my future self will feel. I feel like everyone is usually thinking about the future. How they will be, where they will live, what they'll be doing and who theyll be doing IT with (bow-chicka). And do you know what I think? I think that everyones present self is the best link to that future self. OBVIOUSLY. but think about it like this. You .. RIGHT NOW.. can have a serious effect on your future self. Not just with succeeding and blah blah blah boring shit like that. Listen. About 6 or 7 years ago I made a video of myself talking to my future self. I completely forgot about that video. I came across that video one day and HEY it was ME! I didnt remember it AT ALL. and as I watched it it really really felt like my past self was talking to me. it was SURREAL AS FUCK. and on point! Ever since that day I have been making videos to my future self. Even stating in the video that I know Im going to just be drunkenly watching this video. Which usually is also on point! hah. But I strongly suggest that more people do the same thing. maybe just check in with your future self every now and then and say hey. what the fuck is up?! I hope you arent broke as shit and running out of gas. haha. its actually pretty comical the stuff youll begin to find your past self saying to you. I think documenting your life is a really good thing. You can learn so much just by sifting through your past experiences that youve written down or video taped. Right now for instance I feel like I need some guidance. So I think I will revisit some of my past selfs videos and make another one. You talk about how youre doing and how youve fucked up and tell your future self about all of it. Then in a year or two guess whos giving you pointers? YOU! haha its really actually hilarious. who'd of thought that it would be what you said to yourself 2 years ago that would set your world straight. I think I should go revisit my videos now. I need some guidance. :D In other news. not doing so well right now. This writing has definitely helped. Leigha Horvath- Signing off. ;*
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