#now convinced labyrinth is about one harry styles
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labyrinth - taylor swift
#now convinced labyrinth is about one harry styles#it is not but this is what’s in my head every time i listen to it#if these don’t sync correctly i will cry#labryrinth#taylor swift#midnights#blue#paper airplane#tswiftedit#*mine#*gifs#*art#taylor swift midnights#tscreators#tscreatorsnet#networkthirteen#taylornation#taylurking#tsnation#candy swift#userblues
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Ok I have never posted on Tumblr before, but have a LOT of thoughts about Taylor’s curated playlists corresponding to the 5 stages of grief, so I’m jumping in!
My first impression was of course sadness about all the Joe love songs in here. I mean, she literally put the song “Lover” in “Denial!” Yikes. But when I did a deeper dive and tabulated which song subjects were in which lists, some interesting patterns emerged. If you don’t care about all the details, just jump to the end for the totals. Interesting, huh?
I have to tag @taylor-on-your-dash because they are my hero! Most of my opinions on who each song is about come from their incredible data on when each song was written, which I’ve cross-referenced with who Taylor was dating at that time. Obviously these are just opinions, but they are based on a lot of research!
OK here we go:
Denial:
Lavender Haze—Joe
Snow on the Beach—Joe
Sweet Nothing—Joe
Glitch—Joe
Betty—fictional, but written with Joe
Willow—Joe
Cruel Summer—Tom
Lover—Joe (ouch!)
Miss Americana—not romantic (2016 election)
False God—Joe
Style—Harry
Wildest Dreams—possibly Alex Skarsgard?
Treacherous—Harry
Untouchable—she didn’t write it
That’s When—non-famous person
Ours—John
Superman—John
Bejeweled—Calvin, but she also wore a “bejeweled” dress when she did a surprise appearance at a 1975 show a few months before her breakup with Joe was announced, so this could refer to being in denial about Matty being able to be a decent human being lol
Anger:
Vigilante Shit—not romantic (scooter)
High Infidelity—Calvin (positive about Joe though, at least he gets a break here!)
Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve—John
Exile—I think fictional, but written with Joe
Illicit Affairs—I think fictional but who knows?
Mad Woman—not romantic (Scooter)
Tolerate It—fictional (plot of the book Rebecca)
Bad Blood—not romantic (Katy feud)
Is It Over Now?—Harry
I Knew You Were Trouble—Harry (yes I know there’s debate about this, but I remain firmly convinced that, even if she didn’t start this about him, in the end it was definitely about him)
We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together—Jake
The Last Time—Jake
The Moment I Knew—Jake
Babe—Jake
I Bet You Think About Me—Jake
Dear John—John
Better Than Revenge—Joe Jonas/girl he left Taylor for
Tell Me Why—non-famous person
You’re Not Sorry—non-famous person
Forever & Always—Joe Jonas
Mr Perfectly Fine--Joe Jonas
Bargaining:
The Great War—Joe
This is Me Trying—I think fictional
Peace—Joe
The Archer—Joe
Cornelia Street—Joe (oh, this one hurts!)
Death by a Thousand Cuts—fictional (inspired by a movie but the movie writer was inspired by 1989 so I guess semi Harry?)
Soon You’ll Get Better—not romantic (her mom’s cancer 😢)
Afterglow—Joe
I Wish You Would—Harry
Say Don’t Go—Harry
Come Back Be Here—Harry (I know there’s debate about this too but I’m in the Harry camp)
Better Man—Jake
The Story of Us—John
Haunted—Joe Jonas
Come In With the Rain—non-famous person
The Other Side of the Door—non-famous person
If This Was a Movie—Joe Jonas
Renegade—Joe
Depression:
Bigger Than the Whole Sky—non-romantic (miscarriage?)
Dear Reader—non-romantic (self-doubt)
Maroon—Jake? I think? Honestly I still can’t figure this one out for sure.
You’re Losing Me—Joe
My Tears Ricochet—non-romantic (Scott Borchetta)
Epiphany—non-romantic (war/pandemic)
Hoax—I think Scott Borchetta, so non-romantic? But possibly also Joe? I think she said in this one she was writing about multiple things.
Champagne Problems—I think fictional, but written with Joe
Coney Island—I think fictional, but written with Joe
Right Where You Left Me—I think fictional
Nothing New—non-romantic (self-doubt)
All Too Well—Jake
Forever Winter—non-romantic (friend with mental health issues)
We Were Happy—non-famous person
Last Kiss—Joe Jonas
Castles Crumbling—non-romantic (self-doubt)
Carolina—fictional (for a movie)
White Horse—non-famous person
Acceptance:
You’re On Your Own Kid—non-romantic (self confidence)
Midnight Rain--non-famous person
Labyrinth—Joe
The 1—I think fictional
August—fictional
Invisible String—Joe (finally, a happy song about Joe! This one is touching. Like I guess she’s accepting that they were fated to be together but not end up together?)
Happiness—I think not personal—supposedly about Abigail’s divorce
Long Story Short—another happy song about Joe! Wow!
Closure—nonromantic (Karlie friendship breakup)
Evermore—possibly fictional, but written with Joe
It’s Time to go—nonromantic (Karlie friendship breakup)
I Forgot That You Existed—Calvin
Daylight—another happy song about Joe!
This Love—Harry
Clean—Harry
Now That We Don’t Talk—Harry
Begin Again—supposedly Will Anderson (lead singer of Parachute)
Innocent—non-romantic (Kanye)
Breathe—non-romantic (close friend/fiddle player in her band left the band)
Totals (romantic only, not including fictional)—this really says it all!
Denial: 7 Joe, 2 Harry, 2 John, 1 each Calvin, Tom, possible Alex
Anger: 5 Jake, 3 Joe Jonas, 2 John, 2 Harry, 1 Calvin
Bargaining: 6 Joe, 3 Harry, 2 Joe Jonas, 1 each Jake & John
Depression: 2 Jake, 1 each Joe Alwyn and Jonas
Acceptance: 4 Joe, 3 Harry, 1 each Calvin and Will Anderson
So, basically, with Joe, and to a lesser degree Harry, the main feelings were denial, bargaining, and acceptance. Whereas with Jake and Joe Jonas it’s about anger, plus a lot of depression about Jake. And John gets a healthy dose of denial and anger. Sounds about right!
But also, to all the people ready to attack Joe when TTPD comes out, I think it’s important to point out that he’s not even ON the “Anger” list at all. Yes, things ended. Yes, it’s sad. She was sad. But that doesn’t mean he’s a terrible guy.
Oh, and Taylor L. is nowhere on the list! Yes, he is definitely the best ex lol.
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To all Guys a Chat Loved Before
Okay, this is it. I’ve been working on this story for over a week. It’s seventy pages and twenty thousand words. I basically wrote you a short story. Enjoy it. Review.
I’m not fond of Rom-Coms and rarely if ever watch Romantic movies. But there are a few that i’ve liked. So THROUGH OUT THIS i’ve sprinkled some of my favorite lines from my favorite romantic movies over the years. Some also came from tv shows. See if you can point them out.
This is Adrien-centered fic. It’s also slash.
Don’t you wish that people came with warning labels?
Adrien did. He wished more than anything because his life would be so much easier if everyone could see each other’s warning labels.
Bustier: Terrible teacher. Needs to please everyone. Hates confrontation.
Lila: Waring massive Liar, manipulative shrew.
His father: Workaholic, possible sociopath. Might be allergic to hugs and any affection whatsoever.
Adrien: A little needy. Emotionally scarred. Touch starved. Famous. Trust issues. Lacks some basic social skills. Probably going to be in therapy for the rest of his life. Likes to run around in a skintight leather bodysuit.
You know? The basics.
Okay, maybe that’s too much. Too personal. Fine. Whatever.
But at the very least, if he could meet someone and just know, you know?
Know that this is the one.
This is it.
This one.
They’re the one that’s gonna break your heart.
Adrien’s life would be so much easier if he could at least get that one warning.
Maybe he’d run the other way. But maybe he wouldn’t. Adrien had a terrible habit of always making the stupid choice.
Still, it would be nice to know before he gets into deep.
Before his heart isn’t just broken…
It's shattered beyond repair.
Iron’s Kid: When did you realize you weren’t like other guys?
Chat Galore: I was twelve. You?
The first time Adrien realized he might not be like other guys his age came AFTER he put on a magic ring and ran around Paris as a superhero in black spandex. And yes, that statement alone makes him realize how insane he sounds.
But in his defense…
Okay, there was no defense. He didn’t need to defend himself. There was nothing wrong with him. He knew that. There was nothing wrong with…
Iron’s Kid: Fourteen. And it took me completely by surprise. Like a bite in the neck.
Adrien always really liked his penpal. It had been Chloe’s idea. Adrien signed up when he was thirteen, anonymously, through a program at school and was given an American penpal the same age as him. The schools vetted all participants in the program for authenticity. They’ve never told each other their real names, never seen so much as a picture of one another, but still, Iron’s kid became one of the few people who knew him best.
The blond knew a lot about Iron’s Kid too. He even had a list.
Iron’s kid:
A year older than Adrien.
Huge geek like Adrien.
He was a guy.
He loved Legos
Said he had brown hair and eyes.
He was bisexual.
He was really funny.
Really smart. Like Genius smart.
He was an intern at Stark Industries.
He was a huge iron man fan and adored Spiderman a bit as any New Yorker did.
He loved superheroes and memes (like a lot) and stayed up late a lot.
He made as many puns as Adrien did as Chat Noir.
. They got along really well. They texted constantly. And, Iron’s Kid slowly became one of Adrien’s dearest friends. After the first year of being Penpals, Adrien asked if Iron’s Kid wanted to meet. The answer was no. Adrien asked Iron’s Kid at least once a year if they could meet up (or skype or trade pictures); the answer was always No. It was only after Adrien revealed that he was a supermodel, that Iron’s Kid revealed he had a famous face too and just wanted to be treated normally.
That did stop Adrien from still asking once a year. Iron’s Kid was one of the few people, outside of being Chat Noir that Adrien could just be himself with.
But unlike Iron’s Kid…
Honestly, Adrien always kind of knew, ya know?
He was always as into Harry Styles as Chloe was. Maybe a bit more.
When he binged watched Stranger Things with Marinette; he noticed Finn Wolfhard as much as the bluenette did.
Maybe, he noticed Kim’s biceps just a bit too much.
So he started to suspect early on.
He didn’t know for sure until…
Luka.
And that’s the worst (and craziest) part because knew Luka. He had been sort of, kind of, friends with the guitarist for quite some time. He had never even thought of the blue-haired boy like that.
Until one day, Adrien, Marinette, and Luka were playing video games after school. They were just laughing and chilling out like they always do. It was perfectly ordinary.
Then out of nowhere, Adrien noticed just how blue Luka’s eyes were. Then that was it. Suddenly the blond couldn’t help but think how cool Luka was, how funny he was, how artistic. And Adrien was really self-conscious. When Luka was in the same room as him, Adrien was hyper-aware of everything his own body was doing and everything he was saying.
It was like he existed outside it for a few seconds and was just watching the chaos.
How does my hair look?
Why did I JUST say that? No, don’t say that THAT’s even worse.
What is wrong with you?
Don’t stand like that! Who stands like that?
Does it look weird?
Am I being weird?
He totally thinks I’m weird.
Iron’s Kid: How could you NOT have seen Princess Bride?!!!!!?!!
Chat Galore: It doesn’t look like not my type of movie
Iron’s Kid: But you’ve seen the Labyrinth???!!! WTF
Chat Galore: It was my mom’s favorite movie!!! You haven’t seen vampire diaries yet!!!
Iron’s Kid: That is BESIDES the point. Princess Bride is a classic!!!!
Chat Galore: Oh just shut up
Iron’s Kid; As you wish.
Adrien slowly became a blushing, stuttering mess.
And he didn’t know how but somehow this was how Marinette figured it out what was going on.
“…You have a crush on Luka,” Marinette said slowly and quietly, one day after school as they sat in Marinette’s living room as if the words were as hard for her to get out as they were for him to hear.
The two had gotten closer as friends as a result of the Lila situation at school worsening. Once most of the class made it clear how quickly they were willing to drop Marinette for a shiny golden ticket; the blond and bluenette quickly washed their hands of the situation. They decided to let their ex-friends sink or swim on their own.
Adrien did not need fair-weather friends. Marinette was tired of being everyone’s doormat. They decided to sit in the back together and wait for the fireworks. Surprisingly, not long after Nino joined them. The glasses-wearing boy hadn’t cared if Lila was lying or not (though Adrien and Marinette would provide him with enough evidence to convince him later), he just knew that Marinette was his childhood friend and Adrien was his best friend. Nino trusted them, and sure wasn’t going to abandon them.
That was over a year ago. Marinette, Nino, and Adrien were best friends. Then the bluenette and the blond found out they were really Ladybug and Chat Noir effectively ending their crushes on each other. (Though Marinette took a bit longer)
“No!” Adrien said quickly. “I mean, I can’t, I, uh. I used to love Ladybug, remember!”
Marinette shrugged, “So? I dated Kagami for like three months last year, and I’d still wouldn’t say no to seven minutes in heaven with Luka. Or longer,” She smirked. “I used to like you. I’m bisexual; lots of people are.” She then tilted her head. “It’s okay if you like boys.”
Adrien glanced down shyly. At that point, He hadn’t thought too much about his sexuality. He always figured he was straight. It was the standard some people would say. But… Did he? Did he like-like other guys like that?
…He definitely liked Luka like that. But was it just Luka? Maybe Luka was special. And dreamy. And nice to look at. And he made Adrien’s stomach feel a little weird when he was around, “…I have a crush on Luka.”
“Everyone does,” Marinette nodded. “It’s a fact of life. He gets Kagami to blush. Chloe says he not completely awful. Hell, even Nino said, and I quote, ‘if I ever I had to pick a dude.’” She said but then her eyes widened as she looked at Adrien. “Wait! I just realized have you ever had a crush on a girl besides Ladybug? I never heard you talk about any. This is the first crush besides Ladybug.”
Adrien blinked and then blinked again. “I went out with Kagami once,” He offered, and then gave Marinette a playful glare. “Before you stole her away from me.”
“It’s not stealing if she practically jumped into my arms,” Marinette defended with a laugh. “Don’t hate the playa!”
The blond snorted.
“I mean, what did you like about Ladybug?” Marinette asked. “Not me! Not now. But before you knew that I was Ladybug. What did you like about her?”
Adrien bit his lip as he thought, “She was always fun to be around. When I was with her I never had to worry, you know? I could do what I wanted, say what I wanted. There was no pressure or anything. I was just me… but more. And I liked that. It was easy being around her.”
Marinette nodded, “Ladybug used to be the only one you could be free around,” She said. “As Chat Noir, you never had to censor yourself for fear of what your father would do. It was freedom. A type of freedom you always wanted; to be wild and carefree. You got to do that whenever you are Chat Noir, and whenever you were Chat Noir, Ladybug was there. Did you ever… you might’ve… I think you,” She sighed. “…Adrien, I don’t think you ever loved Ladybug. I think you loved how you got to feel when she was around. You might have equated the two.”
It went quiet as Adrien thought about what his friend said. It helped that his crush had been long gone so he could view it without the bias he used to have. And yeah, the more he thought about it, the more he realized Marinette was right. Adrien had been more infatuated with the fun and freedom of being a superhero, being Chat Noir that he ever was with Ladybug.
He also comprehended that His crush had ended it rather instantly the second he found out who was behind the mask. Marinette was amazing; the girl of most guys’ dreams. Yet Adrien just didn’t see her like that. He didn’t have romantic feelings for her. It was then he realized that no matter who was behind the mask, what girl, Adrien wouldn’t have been happy. “She wasn’t real to me,” He admitted. “Not really. Ladybug was this unattainable dream. Anything was possible with her. I got to think up outlandish fantasies all the time of what our future could be and nothing was too extreme or impossible. The second she became real, the fantasy ended, and… I didn’t want her anymore; not like that.” He told Marinette. “Don’t get me wrong, I love you! You’re practically my sister. You’re the best! But… It is strange, I know.”
Marinette shook her head, “It’s not!” She would know better than most what it was like when the fantasy ended and you had faced reality. “We’re kids. Feelings are all haywire.”
“It’ll get easier.” He asked. “I mean it has to. Soon, right?”
“No!” Sabine, Marinette’s mom, called from the kitchen. “Try in about a decade. If you’re lucky!”
“Mama!” Marinette yelled as she face-palmed. “Private conversation.”
“In our very public family room,” Sabine sassed back. “Adrien, honey, besides Luka, have you ever thought about any boys like that?”
Marinette just sighed.
Adrien turned bright red. He had more or less been adopted by the Dupain-chengs, and he was still getting used to having an involved parent. “I, uh, like Kim’s arms.”
“Who doesn’t?” Marinette asked. “Drool-worthy.”
“Harry Styles,” Adrien offered. “I like his face.” The bluenette snorted, earning herself a face full of the pillow. “Oh, you are so helpful!” After that, they erupted into a pillow fight.
Chat Galore: I’m late
Iron’s Kid: For what?
Chat Galore: Reality.
Iron’s Kid: Oooh someone’s feeling deep today. What’s up?
Chat Galore: I’m
Adrien paused writing.
Iron’s Kid: You’re…
Iron’s kid: Chat? You still there?
Chat Galore: I’m gay.
Chat Galore: You’re the first person I’ve told.
Iron’s Kid: I’m honored. And proud of you man.
Chat Galore: TY!!
Iron’s Kid: So who made you realize you were finally into Luka?
Chat Galore: …I hate you. GO AWAY!
Iron’s Kid: As you wish.
It took another month, and a lot of introspection but Adrien finally came to terms with it, and while getting ice cream with his friends, he said, “So, yeah, I’m gay.”
“And the sky’s blue,” Chloe shrugged.
Marinette elbowed, “That’s not how we’re supposed to react.”
The blonde huffed, “What? We’re supposed to pretend to be surprised. I’ve known him since we were in diapers. I was there through OUR One Direction phase. We were just little kids but just because he blocked it out or whatever doesn’t mean I forgot he called dips on marrying Harry.”
“All good, dude,” Nino told Adrien. “Still my boy.” He told him. “Does this mean you’re finally gonna ask out Luka?”
“NINO!” Marinette groaned. “I didn’t tell them. I swear!”
“What?” Nino licked his ice cream. “It was obvious Sunshine digs Luka.”
Adrien’s froze. “…How obvious?” Dread slowly crept onto his face.
His friends quickly went to assure him.
“It’s barely noticeable!” Marinette said.
“Everyone wants Luka; he probably doesn’t even realize it at this point!” Went, Nino.
“It’s not as obvious as the crush Marinette had on you!”
“Chloe! Seriously?!”
“What!”
Chat Galore: My friends suck as much as you!
Iron’s kid: Ahh, they call you out on the Luka thing too?
Chat Galore: Fuck off
Iron’s Kid: lol
Iron’s Kid: As you wish.
Adrien just groaned, seriously wishing the earth would just swallow him up. It was official all of his friends were completely awful.
Not long after he came out to his father, Nathalie, and Gorilla. His father barely blinked twice and told him not to make a fool of himself. Nathalie scheduled when he’ll announce it officially on twitter. Gorilla at least hugged him.
Lila attempted to convince the class that Adrien was just confused and hiding his feelings for her. But even that was a bit too much to buy. Instead, the class shot the Italian girl pitying looks for being in love with an unreachable guy. Lila seethed with fury as what she thought was her ticket to fame and fortune going up in flame.
Pretty much everything stayed normal though. There were no big fireworks. Adrien never confessed to Luka about his crush; instead joined his dozens of other admirers in mooning from a distance.
Adrien was fine with that. He wasn’t looking for anything for his life to radically change. Or to completely lose his mind over some guy (though he did come close with Luka). In fact, he was rather happy if that never happened.
But since when does he ever get what he wants?
Iron’s Kid: If you could punch anyone in the face, who would it be?
Chat Galore: What did Flash do now?
Chat Galore: And the answer’s: Lila. But Marinette has dips. And then Chloe. Then Kagami for some reason. I’m also after Nino, which doesn’t seem fair.
Chat Galore: …There’s a line to punch Lila.
Iron’s Kid: lol.
Iron’s Kid: Flash embarrassed me in front of Liz. He got everyone at this party chanting the stupid nickname he gave me.
Chat Galore: What a jerk? I vote revenge!
Iron’s Kid: What happened to the high road?
Chat Galore: It went nowhere. Time to light someone’s car on fire now.
Chat Galore: OOOOHHH!!!! Get MJ to put a porn virus on his computer! Let it hit during that school project you guys got next week.
Iron’s Kid: You’re a cruel man. And you and MJ are never allowed meet!
Chat Galore: Lol
Iron’s Kid: I can’t do that. Revenge isn’t my thing. I wouldn’t even care if Liz wasn’t there.
Chat Galore: You really like her, huh?
Iron’s Kid: Yeah I do
Adrien grinned at his phone. Iron had fallen hard for Liz a while back, and it was the cutest thing when he gushed over her. Plus it gave the blond some relief to know that there was someone as bad as him when it came to romance.
Iron’s Kid: So my dads suck
Chat Galore: We should start a club!
Iron’s kid: Lol.
Chat Galore: Your dad or your pops?
Iron’s Kid: Both. They totally freaked out on me! They’re so overprotective it is insane.
Chat Galore: Been there. Am there.
Iron’s Kid: Me and dad totally got into it. He thinks I’m reckless and stupid. Like I don’t know what I’m doing. I just wish he’d trust me
Chat Galore: Stop treating you like you’re a little kid?
Iron’s Kid: Exactly!!!!! I can do this! I know I can! If he just trusts me!
Iron’s Kid: Instead I’m grounded.
Chat Galore: What are you going to do?
Iron’s Kid: Whatever I have to!
Chat Galore: just be safe, ok? I don’t know what’s going on. And I know you can’t tell me. But just Be. Careful. I’d miss you.
Iron’s Kid: I’d miss you too.
Chat Galore: Goodnight!!
Iron’s Kid: As you wish.
It was Christmas. Adrien was staying with Marinette’s family while his father was away on business and avoiding all things happiness. Marinette told him that her Uncle was coming. Her dad’s great uncle from New York. He broke up with his boyfriend not too long ago and wanted to get out and see more of the world.
Adrien had expectations of what Marinette’s great uncle would look like – like any Uncle. Old, kind of fat, who made way to many dad jokes, and smelled like mothballs. And he definitely wore tacky clothes.
The guy who walked into the Dupain-Cheng home, following a laughing Tom Dupain, was NOT that guy!!
First of all, he was young; like two or three years older than Adrien and Marinette. He wore was pale with dark eyes and hair. He was dressed in all black and wore an old black leather bomber jacket. He was unnaturally handsome.
“Who is that?” Adrien hissed.
“My uncle,” Marinette said. “I told you he was coming.”
“How is that your great Uncle?”
Marinette shrugged, “Magic. Demigod. Prince of the Underworld. What can you do?” She said. “His name’s Nico.”
Adrien’s life was already so bizarre he didn’t even question the demigod part. All he could see what Nico. His mind turned to mush. “Boing!” He pointed.
“That’s my Uncle, Adrien,” Mariette reminded him
“Sweet! I would be your Aunt,” Adrien said. “Uncle. I don’t care. I’ll be whatever he wants me to be.”
Marinette laughed and got off the couch to greet the newcomer, “Uncle Nico!”
“Marinette!” Nico smiled as he hugged his niece. “I told you to call me Nico.”
“Uncle is a bit weird,” Marinette nodded in agreement as she let go.
As soon Nico let go, he found his arms full of again but this time by a blond, “Uncle Nico.”
“Adrien, right,” Nico said as he hugged the smaller boy, “I’m not your Uncle.”
“Even better!”
Marinette snorted and pulled her friend away.
Nico looked them up and down. “Aww, it’s good you two are still so close. I still got that picture your dad sent me of you two in Halloween costumes; Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.” He said. “Adorable. You two must have been, what eleven?” He shrugged and smiled at Adrien. “It’s been a while. You grew up gorgeous.” And then walked off to say hello to Sabine.
Adrien turned bright red and a big grin spread across his face.
Marinette crossed her arms, and gave him a serious look, “You are not going to be my Aunt.”
“I can’t hear you!” Adrien sang. “Buh dah Bu da da Da!”
“He’s almost eighteen; physically and mentally anyway!” Marinette said. “We’re fifteen.”
“Almost sixteen,” Adrien snapped quickly. “Which is practically seventeen. Which is a skip away from eighteen. Two plus Two, you know?”
Marinette rolled her eyes, “I know Two plus two equals four. But with your logic, two plus two is three with a wig on.”
He hissed at her.
Chat Galore: I think I found my Liz
Iron’s Kid: Someone Completely unattainable, and probably a bad idea?
Chat Galore: MJ or Ned?
Iron’s Kid: …
Chat Galore: Seriously? Give Iron back his phone!
Iron’s Kid:
Chat Galore: WAIT! What do you mean about Liz? What’s going on? Why is she a bad idea?
He would get a response an hour later. It was just after dark.
Iron’s Kid: Sorry! MJ took my phone!
Chat Galore: NP. What’s this about Liz?
Iron’s Kid: A good friend will ignore whatever MJ told you!
Chat Galore: A best friend’s gonna get answers out of you!
Adrien’s phone remained silent as he waited for Iron’s reply.
Iron’s Kid: ‘sigh’ Liz’s dad a supervillain. He tried to kill me.
Chat Galore: Shit. I’m sorry. Are you okay?
Iron’s Kid: It sucks. Liz’s dad in prison. She had to move.
Chat Galore: that blows
Iron’s Kid: Yep
Then Adrien did something daring; something he thought about doing before but just stops short of being brave enough.
He called Iron’s kid. It rang a few times before finally answering?
“Hello?”
“Iron’s kid?” Adrien whispered.
“Chat Galore?” Was said. “You called?”
“I thought you might need someone to talk to,” Adrien said. “Really talk to. It is fine if you don’t want to. I just thought…”
“No!” Was quickly said. “This is great. I mean, yeah. I’m cool with this if you are.”
They ended up talking to each other for hours like they always did. But this time it went on even longer; to the point where Adrien was genuinely surprised to see the sun starting to rise.
It was the first Adrien began to suspect he might be falling a little bit in love with Iron’s Kid.
It didn’t end there. As the weeks went on Iron Kid and Chat Galore kept texting and talking. Iron Kid was going through a hard time and Adrien just wanted to be there for him.
Iron’s Kid: It’s never been easy being me. I love my parents. But normal doesn’t exactly coincide with our last name
Chat Galore: It is like no one can look past it, right? They don’t see you, they see your name. It’s all they care about.
Iron’s kid: Exactly!!!!! Who I am doesn’t matter. Its who my dad is, who my pop’s is. Hell sometimes who my grandfather was, and he died way before I was even born. It’s not fair!
Chat Galore: And you never know if anyone likes you for you. Or if they just want something from you. Or from your dad. You just want people to see YOU for who you are!
Iron’s Kid: Makes it really hard to trust people. My parents always did their best to give me a normal life but
Iron’s Kid: it’s whatever I guess.
Chat Galore: It’s not whatever. And its okay to feel like this.
Iron’s Kid: It’s sometimes I feel a little lost. Or maybe just…
Iron’s Kid: I mean, I can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel all alone. Like no one really knows me or sees me. Then I think of you. I think of talking to you. And I don’t feel so alone anymore.
Chat Galore: I see you.
Iron’s Kid: I see you too.
Then once more Adrien asked Iron’s Kid if he wanted to meet, even though he knew he’d be turned down. That was fine. Adrien would wait.
If Marinette thought it was over when the holidays ended, she was dead wrong. Nico got an apartment to stay in Paris and to spend time with his family.
And Adrien got used to his brain going all gooey when Nico was around. He always said goofy things; things that made him wish he’d never learned to speak in the first place. He read books that Nico casually mentioned just so they’d have something to talk about. He did ridiculous things try to get the older guy’s attention. And whenever, Nico asked the gang if anyone wanted to hang out, Adrien would be the first to shoot up and practically yell yes.
And all Adrien would get from Nico would be a placating smirk; the same type Nino would give his younger brothers’ when they did something outlandish to impress him.
The weird thing was when Adrien was going all googly-eyes at Nico, they got along really, really well. They both loved art and classic noir films like Gun For hire and Laura. The two once spent an entire afternoon in the museum just talking about the pieces, ignoring the whines of Marinette and Nino who got dragged along.
Still no matter what Adrien did Nico never took the hint to ask Adrien out. Or even hint that he was open to Adrien possibly asking him out.
His friends got used to Adrien sighing wistfully.
“Gods’ he so handsome, it makes my face hurt,” Adrien whined.
Marinette giggled, “You’re young, you’re dumb.”
“Just so we’re clear,” Chloe pointed a fork at him that still had a bit of salad on it, “That those are not necessarily correlated. You’re just an idiot.”
Nino leaned forward, “Bro, just ask him out!” He said with his mouth half full of pizza.
“I can’t do that!”
“Why not?” Marinette, Chloe, and Nino asked/yelled at him.
“What if he says no?” Adrien asked, because duh, why else wouldn’t he have asked Nico out already.
Chloe glared at him, “Then you look in the mirror and remind yourself that you’re the second hottest dude, around our age, in Paris?”
“Ahh, Luka’s first,” Marinette put in.
Nino raised his hand, “Just so we’re clear, I’m at least in the top ten, yeah?” Silence. “Guys? Top fifteen?” Nothing. “Top twenty?”
“Eehh,” Chloe offered as she flipped her hand side to side rapidly.
Nino grinned, “I’ll take it!”
It all came to a head during the Dupain-Cheng family game. Marinette invited Chloe, Nino, and Adrien, who had become Tom and Sabine’s additional adopted children, when Tom walked in, with Nico trailing behind him. “Family game night to the max!” Tom cheered.
Nico chuckled and gave everyone their hellos.
Marinette holding a hat on her lap, “Time to pick the games tonight: Mom, Chloe, and Nico’s turn to draw from the hat.
Sabine drew Uno.
Chloe drew Pictionary.
Nico drew dungeons and dragons which caused everyone in the room to groaned, “What?”
“That game always takes forever,” Nino whined.
Marinette flopped on the couch dramatically, “Mom’s always the dungeon master and she never lets us win. Dad always dies before anything good starts.”
“We always get frustrated,” Chloe added with an eye-roll. “And snap and try to kill each other!”
“In the game?” Nico asked.
Nino glared at his friends, “Not. Always. Marinette!” He called her out, and she had the decency to blush. “Some people walk with scars.”
“Mental and emotional ones,” Adrien winced. “Marinette.”
Chloe caught Nico’s confused look, and explained, “Marinette’s a bit competitive.”
“A bit!” Everyone else in the room said.
“Let’s just play!” Marinette gave them a playful glare.
Uno was fast. Marinette won, of course.
Pictionary resulted in tears. (Sabine was just as competitive as her daughter, and Tom was a bit sensitive.)
The Dungeons and Dragons came took hours. Tom died right away and was content to watch the show. The kids turned on each other by the second hour, and it took Nico’s taking leadership and forcing them all to work together to achieve victory, for the suffering to stop.
��By the end, nearly everyone in the room was dead asleep, their characters long since dead, apart from Marinette, Sabine, Adrien, and Nico. Until the die was rolled for the final time and Marinette raised her tired arms in victory, “Finally. Six hours, friends came together on a harrowing quest; the longest game of my life. And we finally, finally won!”
Seconds after she was cuddled against her mother, both having fallen asleep.
Adrien gave them a sleepy smile from where he sat on the floor before every cell in his body suddenly felt like it was hit by lightning when he caught Nico’s dark eyes staring at him. It was then that Adrien realized that, with the others all asleep, this was the first time Nico and he were ever technically alone together.
Be cool, he thought. Just be cool, damn you.
It was all for naught as Nico got up off the couch and went to sit next to Adrien, who let out a small happy squeak.
“Let’s talk,” Nico told Adrien, who fought to stop his entire body from shaking. “We’re sort of friends, right?”
Adrien winced a little but nodded eagerly, “Yep, friends, totally. I’m happy being friends. Yeah, friendship!” He waved his fist around in a small cheer and died a little inside as soon as he did it.
Why am I such a loser, he asked himself.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Yes, sure,” Adrien said. “Anything. Whatever you want. You can ask me anything too. I’ll probably say yes. I’ll defiantly say yes. Yes!”
Nico just gave him a small smile, “When I was just about your age, maybe a bit younger, I had a crush on this older guy Percy. I was ten when I met him. He was fourteen, almost fifteen. In my eyes, he was all my dreams come to life; a real-life Greek demi-god hero. He fought monsters, saved lives. I had the biggest crush on him instantly,” He told Adrien. “Not that I knew it then. I was too young. I was from a completely different time where things like a man liking a man just were okay, or… Or Legal. I didn’t handle it well. Even worse after my sister died and wrongly placed at least part of the blame of unfairly on him. It took me a long time to realize I never hated him, I hated myself. I only stopped hating myself when I realized and accepted I was gay. And a little bit in love with Percy.”
Adrien had no idea where this was going but he listened intensely. He always enjoyed listening to Nico whenever he told tales about his life as a demigod.
“Still I ended up doing a lot of stupid things,” Nico said. “Just to get his attention, to help him; to get him to fall for me back. A lot of stupid things.” He chuckled. “When I found out he was Bi, I thought I had a chance. But I didn’t. I never would’ve. Percy just saw me as a brother. I was too young for him. Way too young. There was no way Percy could’ve ever seen me like that. I accepted that. I moved on. I got over him. I even admitted to him about my crush; after telling him that he wasn’t my type. Asshole fell down laughing.”
Adrien laughed a bit.
“We’re still friends,” Nico added. “Great friends actually. And I’m glad. Do you know why I’m telling you this?”
The blond frowned and suddenly found the game board very interesting. Because, yes he did know why Nico was telling him this.
“You know I’m too told for you, right?” Nico asked quietly as to not wake up the others.
“Yeah,” Adrien nodded slowly, his throat felt a little dry, and his eyes stung. “I know. I kind of always knew.” He glanced at the Dungeons and Dragons, and a strange sense of hope-filled him. The blond shot the older dark-haired boy a smirk, “But I’m playing the long game.”
Adrien tried to be hopeful about it. Or least pretend to but…
Chat Galore: I just got my heartbroken.
Iron’s Kid: That Douchebag. I knew that weird death kid was no good!
Chat Galore: He’s not that bad. He said I’m too young for him. I get he’s trying to be a good guy but…
Iron’s Kid: It still hurts.
Chat Galore: Yep
Iron’s Kid: I get that. How about we watch Star Wars and make fun of Kylo Ren, that’ll make you feel better!
Chat Galore: I’ve seen less teen angst in my high school. The dude has problems!
And that’s what they did. They texted each other while watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens; sending each other stupid memes and jokes. And Adrien felt a lot better by the end it of it.
Chat Galore: Thanks for this btw. I think I really need this.
Iron’s Kid: No Problem
Iron’s Kid: And for what it’s worth, I’d never turn you down.
Adrien stared at that message for an hour, mentally screaming. Because… What. The. Hell.
Chat Galore: Oh be quiet! Lol
Iron’s Kid: As you wish.
The next day, Adrien sent Iron’s Kid another request to meet. The answer was a simple: Not Yet. That was Fine. Adrien would wait.`
“You are not playing the long game, Adrien Agreste,” Chloe glared at him. “Do you hear me? I will not take this into my twenties.”
They had talked Adrien into ditching one of his many lessons and were hanging out downtown. Eating ice cream.
“But!”
“No!”
“I agree with her man,” Nino said, and Adrien gave him big green puppy dog eyes. “You can spend your life swooning over some guy. There’s other fish in the sea.”
“I don’t want fish,” Adrien complained. “I just someone to ride the Ferris Wheel with me!”
“Ferris Wheel?” Nino asked confused.
“Gay culture,” Chloe explained.
Marinette nodded, “We just mean that… You need to Get some more life skills. Learn how to talk to guys. Get cool!”
“I’m cool!” Adrien defended and was met with multiple snorts. “I am. I got my dad to let me have more freedom. I paint. I went to comic con last year. I ride the metro now. And I can talk guys. I’ve successfully learned how to be cool.”
Chloe smirked, “Okay, let's see how you react when you see him,” She looked over his shoulder. “Guy’s been checking you out since we got here.”
“I’m cool,” Adrien said as he casually glanced over his shoulder and saw just who was checking him out, he let out a series of nervous chuckles. And couldn’t stop.
The guy looked about his age, with dark hair and blue eyes, a jawline that was similar to ones Adrien’s had seen on Greek statues; and he had muscles, so many muscles. He sat on a park bench and was writing or sketching in a red notebook.
Nino shook his head, “Yeah you still need some lessons in cool.”
“Lesson one: go talk to him,” Chloe demanded.
Adrien’s eyes went wide, and he let out a squeak. “Nope! Can’t do it. Won’t do it!”
His friends shared a look, and Adrien suddenly fears for his life. He found himself all but pushed/carried over to the guy on the park bench. He struggled a bit. Suddenly when they got close enough, Adrien was pushed (By gleeful and vindictive looking Chloe, his official witch of an ex-best friend), right into park bench guy, who caught him at the last second. And Adrien found himself sitting in the lap of a virtual stranger.
“Hi?” Adrien offered weakly. “Me and my friends were just talking about you.”
The guy gave him a big smile, “I know,” He said. “I figured. I’m Jon.” He said with a southern American accent. “Jon Kent. And you can talk about me any time you want.”
“Adrien,” The blond laughed. “Adrien Agreste.”
“I like your laugh, Adrien.”
“I like your smile, Jon.”
Then Adrien’s phone started ringing. It was Nathalie and Adrien had to rush home. Mourning his chances of ever seeing Jon again. He was probably a tourist who’d be gone the next day, the blond figured.
Chat Galore: I have the worst luck with guys!
Iron’s Kid: I don’t know. I think you have better luck than you think.
Chat Galore: Lol. What’s up with you lately.
Iron’s Kid: Flash finally left me alone. All it took was a school field trip to my job. Suddenly I’m not a liar anymore!
Chat Galore: Oh I would’ve killed to his face, lol.
Iron’s Kid: It was basically the crying emoji.
Iron’s Kid: Oh yeah, I met this guy named Johnny; totally gorgeous, rides a motorcycle, and my dads’ hate him
Chat Galore: Last ones’s the best part, right?
Iron’s Kid: YES!!
The next morning Adrien and his friends were happily sitting in the back of the class. The other kids in the class ignored them as usual. Even Lila more or less pretended they didn’t exist. (Though she had been reluctant to let Adrien go and had made several attempts to get him under her thumb. Until Adrien got his dad to fire her under threat of dying his hair neon green, and wearing plaid, the one pattern his father hated above all others.)
They had entered a cold war with her. As long as she stopped trying to make their lives hell, they’d stop exposing trying to expose her.
Bustier was once again proving she had no control over her classroom as she struggled to teach a simple history lesson about the French Revolution. It didn’t make a lick of sense and Bustier tried way to hard to get the kids to relate on a personal level.
“History shows that bad things happen when you don’t know who you are,” Bustier said just as the classroom door opened and in walked two boys and a girl.
Adrien’s eyes went wide, and leaned over to Chloe, “Park bench guy!” He whispered.
“Foreign exchange students,” One of the boys said. He had dark hair, green eyes, olive skin, and a thoroughly unimpressed look on his handsome face. He wore a black turtle neck and slacks. “Damian Wayne, Gotham.”
“Lian Nguyen-Harper-Queen,” Said the girl. She had Auburn hair and gray eyes. Lian wore a pink headband, a pink cardigan over a white top and blue shorts.
“Hi I’m Jon Kent,” He said. Jon wore a red plaid shirt over a simple t-shirt and blue jeans. “I split my time between the Farm in Smallville and Metropolis.” He looked at the back of the classroom straight at Adrien. “And I’m happy to be here.”
Bustier nodded, “Welcome. Always happy to get new students! Let's find you some seats…” She looked around the room.
“OH! Damian can sit with me!” Lila waved her hand. “I’ll be happy to show him around.”
“Declined,” Damian simply said. “We’ll sit in the back.”
Alya leaned forward, “But Lila’s goes to Gotham and Metropolis all the time!” She said and didn’t notice the way Lila paled. She seemed to have forgotten Damian Wayne was apart of her many, many lies. “Damian, you showed her around last time she was there. You guys became such a good friend. She just wants to return the favor.”
Damian scoffed, “I’ve never seen this girl before in my life.”
Marinette smirked at Adrien, “You’re going to need to move. I have a new best friend.”
“Mean,” Adrien said. “But understandable. Still not moving.”
Jon and Damian sat in empty seats in front of Adrien and Marinette.
Jon turned around in his seat, “Hi.”
Adrien smiled shyly, “Hi.”
Then they just stared at each other.
Chloe let out a long-suffering sigh, “Oh this gonna be exhausting.”
Iron’s Kid: Best day EVER!!!
Chat Galore: SAME! What happened?
Iron’s Kid: Johnny asked me out!
Chat Galore: AWESOME!!!
Chat Galore: Park Bench Guy is in my class NOW!!!
Iron’s Kid: ‘High Five’ Maybe fate DOESN’T hate us.
Chat Galore: …
Chat Galore: …I swear to the Gods if you jinxed us
The two guys in class quickly joined the Adrien’s friends’ group. They blended in seamlessly like they were always there as the weeks went on. Before anyone knew it, they were pretty much attached to hips. Even going as far as joining family game night.
Through them; Damian, Lian, and Jon were able to get all the information they needed to survive Paris. The three had heard whispers of Hawkmoth but had been a little shocked when the Akuma alert went off and everyone had to duck for cover. After the third or fourth time, the new kids got used to it and easily swallowed the excuses Marinette, Adrien, Chloe, and Nino made about having to run off and go home during alerts.
Around the same time as the fourth akuma of the new semester hit, three new heroes arrived in Paris.
Well, new wouldn’t necessarily be the right word. They weren’t new heroes, they were just new to Paris.
Robin, Superboy, and Arrowette. They assisted in fighting back akuma that turned people into candy; a toddler whose mother refused to buy him sweets. Afterward, they explained that they would be in the city for quite some time, and would assist when they are able.
They didn’t reveal why they were there though. All Robin said was, “Justice League business.” And the Parisian heroes decided to leave it at that after offering to help if needed.
Paris went nuts over the arrival of the new heroes.
Alya cried in class when she found out Ladybug gave Aurore the exclusive interview about what was going on. Ladybug also publically endorsed Bugout, Aurore’s website, as the only reliable main source for credible information on the Parisian heroes. She didn’t say a word about Ladyblog, which was pretty much all anyone needed to know what they had already expected.
Ladybug hadn’t given an exclusive on the Ladybug blog in almost two years but now it was official…
The Ladyblog was out. Alya was out.
Time went on. The kids grew closer as friends. Jon and Adrien got closer as… Well, Adrien didn’t know.
He did know that his dad despised Jon because of time he picked Adrien up wearing a green plaid shirt but Gabriel wouldn’t admit it. Jon was the son of famous reporters Lois Lane and Clark Kent, godson to Lex Luther. And Gabriel Agreste was anything but stupid.
“I miss my family,” Jon told Adrien one day while they were studying in the library. “All the time. But I guess also miss the pets I have.”
“I always wanted a dog,” Adrien said.
“In Smallville, I have twelve chickens,” Jon said. “Three horses, four pigs, two cows, and a dog.”
The blond nodded, “You win. Tell me about them.”
And Jon did. He told all about his life in Smallville and metropolis. And Adrien told him what it was like growing up in Paris and being a supermodel.
Adrien grinned, “I want to be a lawyer when I get older,” he told Jon. “I want to fight for people who can’t fight for themselves. Like I read about this law firm called Nelson and Murdock who take all these pro bono cases to help people who usually have no chance of winning against bigger, bad-er, and richer people. It gets really dangerous for them but they just keep helping. Because it’s the right thing to do. I want to do that too!”
“I think when I grow up…” Jon said slowly. “I want to be like my mom. She goes above and beyond to get her story; to find out what’s really going on in the world and reports it honestly. I want to do that too. I want to be an investigative journalist. I want to hunt down the truth. Because people deserve the truth, even if they don’t like it. I know the truth can be scary sometimes, and a bit sad. But They deserve to hear it. But I’ve probably said too much.” He laughed.
“No,” Adrien shook his head, and smiled, “Tell me more.”
Still the more their friendship and bonds of trust grew, the more Lila became frustrated. As far as she was concerned things just weren’t going her way. First, she lost her future as the world-famous fashion model Lila Rossi/Mrs. Adrien Agreste. Then Damian Waynes comes to town and won’t even look twice at her; too busy trailing after Miss Goody two-shoes. Then she finds out that Jon Kent is the son of Lois Lane and Clark Kent, godson of Lex Luther, only AFTER she privately threatened to make his life hell for siding with Marinette. She didn’t bother to try to get close to Lian Queen, granddaughter of Oliver Queen, the girl had been glaring at her since the second she heard Lila tell her first lie.
So instead of The Italian girl, once again, tried to sow dissension in the class, tried to force Damian to sit next to her; loudly bragged about her trips and famous people she knew to get attention. Damian ignored her. Then she tried making Marinette look bad again; lied about how the bluenette was bullying her. It didn’t work. Damian was quick to point out inconsistencies in her tales.
That didn’t stop the class from believing them.
“Morons,” Damian called them one day after school.
“They’re not that bad,” Marinette tried.
“They kinda are, dudette,” Nino said. “I really expected Alya to catch on by now. But it’s like she doesn’t want to.”
Chloe scoffed, “Of course she doesn’t!” The blond sneered. “She betrayed her best friend, ditched her best friend, broke up with her boyfriend, pretty much led the charge in exiling us, spread Lila’s lies on her blog which included Lies about Ladybug. It’s not just admitting she was wrong.”
“It’s having to deal with consequences,” Lian agreed. “That Alya got herself into this mess. If Marinette and all us aren’t the bad guys in this, that means she is. That’s a hard pill to swallow.”
Jon shook his head, “I don’t understand why Lila lies so much,” he said. “Dad’s always told me honesty is the best policy.”
“You’re a long way from the farm, boy scout,” Damian tsk’d.
“Damian,” Marinette sighed and grabbed the boy’s hand and pulled him away.
Adrien snickered, “Those two are so into each other, it’s not even funny!”
“I know,” Jon laughed in agreement. “I’ve never seen Damian be so nice to anyone before. I’ve known him since we were in the sandbox, and he just stopped calling me Kent last year.”
“Yeah…” Chloe drawled. “Watching two people dance around each other for months, neither making a move. It’s the worst.”
“Waiting for one of them to finally make a move,” Nino said, “Literally. Kill. You. Inside.”
Lian nodded, “They like each other. Everyone knows they like each other. And Yet nothing. And we'll have no choice but watch and wait for them to pull their heads out of their asses,” She told them. “When all you want to scream is: hey, you two! Just freaking kiss already!”
“Yep the absolute worst,” Nino repeated.
Then Lian, Chloe, and Nino stared blatantly at Jon and Adrien who merely shrugged.
“Damian will make a move soon,” Jon assured.
“I’ll try to get Marinette to say something,” Adrien promised.
“…I hate you,” Chloe said.
Adrien gave her another confused look. Because what did he do wrong now?
Chat Galore: Dude!
Iron’s Kid: Dude!
Chat Galore: I need Hufflepuff support now!
Iron’s Kid: …Crap, I never told you Pottermore sorted me into Gryffindor, did i?
Chat Galore: WHAT!
Chat Galore: Traitor. Never talk to me again
Iron’s Kid: As you wish.
“How do I look?” Marinette asked as she twirled around in the living room. She wore a soft pink dress. Her hair was down and slightly curved. She looked like a princess from a fairytale.
“Flawless,” Adrien said, for the tenth time. “Why am I here?”
Marinette narrowed her eyes at him, “Because!” She said. “You’re my bestie. I have my first real date. Chloe’s shopping with Lian. Nino won’t answer my calls. I need you here!”
“Take a deep breath, Mari!” Adrien told her. “You look absolutely beautiful. Damian’s already head over heels for you, and the way you look is gonna make his purpose.”
The bluenette blushed a lovely pink, “Shut up!”
The door opened, and in walked Nico, “Looking lovely, niece,” He said. “Big date tonight, huh?”
“Yes,” Marinette sighed dreamily. “He’ll be here soon.”
Nico smirked, “Good. Don’t worry, I’ll only threaten him a little.”
“Nico!”
The dark-haired boy chuckled before flopping down on the couch. “Hey, Adrien.”
Adrien felt his mind go a little mushy. He never quite got over his crush on the older boy. At least not yet.
The two still hung out every now and then, still always with Marinette. Nico frequently split his time between New York and Paris. So Adrien didn’t see him that often, though Nico had been around to wish Adrien a happy 16th birthday.
Adrien tried to play it cool, but ended up sitting in awkwardly in the recliner, “Hey Nico!” His voice squeaked, and once more Adrien wanted to die.
The doorbell rang.
Damian brought Marinette a dozen red roses, let himself be mildly threatened by Nico, endured the massive amount of pictures Tom and Sabine took and ignored Adrien’s snickering in the background. Then the two love birds were gone. Sabine and Tom went to go finish closing the bakery for the night. And then it was just Adrien and Nico.
“So,” Nico said as he put his feet on the couch. “What are you doing tonight, Blond Wonder? Any plans?”
Adrien shook his head, “Not really,” Jon was visiting his parents. Nino was watching his siblings. “I’ll just go home and watch Bleach. Or something.” Stuff his mouth with the hidden box of Oreos he had.
“Why don’t you hang out with me?” Nico offered. “The Maltese Falcon at the old theater on 3rd street. It’s your favorite right?”
Adrien nodded eagerly, “Me and my Mom used to watch it all the time.”
The two had a great time at the movie theater and ended up staying to watch another movie. They laughed. They ate lots of overpriced junk food. They talked. And Adrien finally managed to have a non-blushing, stammering, mind mushed, conversation with Nico. It was still just a bit awkward but it was not the cause of something either of them did.
At the end, Nico walked Adrien to the front door of his house.
“It’s weird,” Nico said, “But I kind of always forget how great it is hanging out with you.”
Adrien shrugged, “You’re not too bad yourself,” Then he smirked, “Though you’d probably be happier if you add some color to your wardrobe. Do own anything that’s not the color of sadness?”
Nico barked a laugh, “I am the son of Hades,” He defended himself. “It’s our aesthetic, okay. And we all can’t be made from rainbows and sunshine.”
“Excuses.”
The dark-haired boy shook his head, and smirked at Adrien, “This was fun. We should do it again sometime.” He said as he backed away.
“Yeah,” Adrien smiled. “Go to the beach, see what happens when you go out in the daylight. Even money, you burst into flames.
Nico chuckled as he turned around, “Goodnight, Sunshine.”
“Night, Twilight!”
“You’re dead to me!” Nico called back.
Ladybug and Chat Noir and the other Parisian heroes got used to the Three Justice League sidekicks appearing out of nowhere and assisting in battle. It had been strange at first; a little tense. Mostly due to Robin interrogating them every chance he got. Arrowette glaring menacingly at them. Even Superboy was a bit intimidating. Still, they never revealed why there in Paris.
During this time, Adrien and Jon became much better friends. And the blond started to suspect that Jon would prefer to just stay friends with him.
Iron’s Kid: Johnny and Me are over.
Chat Galore: Ouch. What happened?
Iron’s Kid: ‘Dramatic Sigh’ we’re just too different, you know?
Chat Galore: Different is not always bad. You really liked him, right?
Chat Galore: And did you actually type ‘Dramatic Sigh’, you dramatic bitch?
Iron’s Kid: I like that he was different at first. But we barely had anything in common. We were fire in and ice. Sure it is steamy at first but when the steam is gone…
Iron’s Kid: And yes I did
Chat Galore: You okay?
Iron’s Kid: I’m fine. I just realized I want someone I can talk to about everything and nothing.
Chat Galore: Someone to geek out over Star Trek with, and go to when you need a shoulder to lean on.
Iron’s Kid: Someone who’d stay up all night talking just because he wants to be there for me.
Chat Galore: Dating shouldn’t be this hard
Iron’s Kid: It’ll only get harder.
Chat Galore: Shut. Up.
Iron’s Kid: As you wish.
For Marinette’s sixteenth birthday, she had a party. It was much bigger than she wanted, but not smaller than her friends tried to make it. The bluenette was always there for them, and they wanted to remind her how special was.
However, for the first time, Adrien was pleased to say, he was not the one trying to overdue everything to the extreme. Chloe was pleased that she wasn’t the one making the party planner cry whenever she called them. Nino was pleased that he wasn’t the one to be overly critical of the musical entertainment for being just a bit subpar.
No! That was Damian Wayne.
And unlike Marinette’s best friends, Marinette’s boyfriend’s craziness could not be contained.
The party was huge. There were hundreds of balloons. Everyone was wearing fanciest party clothes. There were hundreds of balloons. Gourmet food. All of Marinette’s friends, close acquaintances, and anyone who loved and or adored her had shown up. Jagged had come. Cara Nightingale did a surprise performance.
Adrien had a blast. His friends found out that while the blond boy had lessons in practically everything, dance wasn’t one of them. He was a terrible dancer. Laughably bad. Still, everyone had fun. Nino danced in a giant glow in the dark dinosaur costume.
Then Marinette, Adrien, Nino, Chloe got on stage and sang Born to Brave from High School Musical: The Series. Damian, Jon, and Lian joined them. The crowd sang with. Bubbles filled the air. It was exhilarating.
So much so that Adrien stepped out to take a small break. He sat on a white wood bench outside, looking up at the stars, and let the cool brisk night air relax him. Even from where he sat, he could still hear music playing from the party.
“Needed a breather,” Jon asked as he sat down next to Adrien.
“Parties,” Adrien shrugged. “They can be a bit much.”
Jon shifted in his seat, “Yeah. Yeah, I guess.”
Then Blue eyes met green…
And then everything suddenly felt really the world was holdings breath. Adrien had no idea where the tension came from but it was there. And it was like he was waiting for some imaginary bubble to burst. And Adrien just… Ugh!
He glanced down at his hands, suddenly not knowing what to do with them. He was also intensely aware of every millimeter Jon so much as moved. In fact, Adrien was aware of everything, including how many times he was blinking.
“This kind of reminds me of how we met,” Adrien finally blurted.
Jon cast him a curious look but nodded, “Yeah, the park bench, right?”
“Mmhmm.”
There it went quiet.
“Why are parties a bit much?” Jon asked.
“Not all parties,” Adrien said. “Just the ones my dad usually drags me to. Everyone is always overly polite while giving backhanded compliments; they pretend to be nice but they don’t mean it. No one’s straight forward. I don’t know why it is so hard.”
“It’s not!” Jon turned to him. “Let’s try it now. Hi, I’m Jon and…” He took two plugs out of his ears, “…I wear earplugs because I can’t handle loud noises sometimes.”
Adrien chuckled, “Hi. I’m Adrien. And apparently, I’m a terrible dancer.”
“God Awful!”
“Hey!”
Jon laughed, “My little Pony is one my favorite shows.
“I once had an imaginary friend named Phineas!”
“I like fried broccoli!”
“I like fried Oreos.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“Oh because fried broccoli so much better.”
“Hey, being straight forward here!” Jon defended. “I like raining days over sunny.”
Adrien smiled, “I like you,” he took a deep breath. “Like really like you.” He glanced down and then back up at Jon and tried to be brave. “Like I the way I thought you might’ve used to like me but don’t anymore.”
“Really?” Jon asked looking just a bit stunned. “How very straight forward of you.”
Adrien stood up quickly, slightly panicked, “That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say. If you don’t like me anymore, I get it.” He said. “I… I just really wanted you to tell you. Even if you change your mind.”
“Adrien,” Jon said, standing up too, facing the blond. “I’ve never changed my mind.” Then he leaned forward and kissed Adrien. “I really like you too.”
Adrien and Jon held hands as they walked back into the party.
Later, after the party ended, Adrien would tell Marinette, Chloe, and Nino about his first kiss, and go partially death from Marinette and Chloe’s screams.
Chat Galore: You know what I like?
Chat Galore: Life!
Iron’s Kid: Things going good then?
Chat Galore: Jon kissed me. My grades are perfect. My dad’s letting me cut back on modeling.
Iron’s Kid: Awesome! You’ve need a break.
Chat Galore: We need a happy song!
Iron’s Kid: We. Do. Not.
Chat Galore: We need a happy song so when we can sing the happy song when we’re happy.
Iron’s Kid: We will never have a happy song.
Iron’s Kid: That’s more of a Hufflepuff thing
Chat Galore: I’d be offended if it wasn’t true!
Adrien’s life really was going great. He became good friends with Nico. Lila’s lies in the class were starting to unravel, and she was quickly losing her supporters. Jon and him were sort of, kind of, officially dating. The sun was shining. Rainbows were everywhere.
…He should’ve known it wouldn’t last forever.
Adrien got a 911 group text from Chloe; with like a dozen exclamation points and several frowny faces so he knew it was serious.
When he got to Chloe’s place, he found Marinette and Nino already waiting on the couch, while Chloe paced the floor. Adrien joined on the couch.
“Okay,” Marinette said. “We’re all here. What’s up? What’s the emergency?”
“They’re spies,” Chloe hissed, rage clear on her face. “Lian, Jon, Damian; they’ve been spying on us all this time.”
“What? Dude, no way!” Nino shook his head. “They’re our friends. Lian hates traitors!”
“Damian would never!” Marinette denied. “He loves me. I love him.”
Adrien agreed, “They’d never do that us. Jon couldn’t. He’s like the most honest kid ever.”
Chloe picked up a nearby face and smashed against the wall, “They’re two-faced lying little creeps.” She yelled. Though it was clear she was angry, they could also see the hurt clear in the blonde’s eyes.
“Chloe…” Marinette started slowly but was cut off.”
“Lian is Arrowette!” Chloe growled. “Jon’s Superboy. And I’ll give you one big fat guess who Damian is. And for the record he is not as wonderful as his nickname implies.”
Pollen flew out from wherever she was hiding, “It’s true!” She said. “I saw them myself. They are the American heroes.”
“Pollen followed them,” Chloe explained. “She saw everything. They’ve been following us. Reporting intel to the Justice League all about us. That’s why they’re here. That’s why they got close to us. They know we’re heroes!”
Horror and understandingly slowly crept over Nino, Marinette, and Adrien’s faces.
Pollen nodded eagerly, “They have reports all about your lives in and out of the mask. It's very detailed.”
Adrien was glad he was sitting down because he felt like the floor has disappeared under his feet. Shakily, he stood up, “I need too…” He shook his head. “I have too…” He couldn’t finish his sentence instead he just ran from the room.
And kept running and running.
Until he found himself standing in front of the apartment where Jon, Lian, and Damian lived. He stared at the olive green door as if he didn’t recognize it. As if he hadn’t been there, in that same spot, standing in front of that door, a hundred times before.
He closed his eyes and he knocked.
Jon opened the door, “Adrien!” He had a large grin on his face that slowly disappeared when he saw the look on the blond boy’s face.
“Can I come in?”
“Sure, yeah!” Jon moved out of the way to let Adrien pass. “Is everything okay?”
Adrien walked into the living room and saw Damian and Lian sitting on the couch, “Go see Marinette,” He ordered Damian. “If you want any chance of saving your relationship, if you ever really loved her like you said you; you will go see Her. Right. Now.”
That was all Damian needed to here to fly out of the room.
Adrien turned to Lian, “I need to speak with Jon alone, please,” He said as politely as possible. “I would suggest going to go speak with Nino and Chloe.”
Lian frowned but nodded and left the room.
“Adrien, what’s going on?” Jon asked again. “You’re scaring me.”
Adrien let out a shorter bitter laugh, “I’m going to ask you three questions, and I need to be honest with me, okay? Is your name Jon Kent?
“Yes,” Jon stated firmly. “Jonathan Kent Lane.”
“Are we friends?”
“Of course!”
Adrien nodded and swallowed the lump that was building in his throat, “Why did you really come to Paris?”
Jon frowned, “I’m here on a foreign exchange-” Adrien cut him off.
“Don’t lie to me, Superboy!”
The boy of Steel flinched back.
“Tell me it isn’t true!” Adrien all but begged. “Tell me you didn’t come here to spy on Chat Noir and Ladybug and everyone else. Tell me this wasn’t all a big lie. Tell me you weren’t using me for information. Tell me! Tell me wrong I’m, please.”
“Adrien…” Jon whispered, pain on his face. “I’m sorry.”
That was Adrien needed to here. “All this time. You… I thought… Was any of it real? Was anything you ever told me real? Do I even know you?” He asked. “
“The Justice League was concerned about Hawkmoth,” Jon tried to explain. “They received intelligence that Ladybug and Chat Noir were teenagers, and wanted to know more. They sent us.”
Adrien just stared at him, “I like you,” He said. “I really liked you. You were my friend, Did you do all just because you were ordered to?”
“No!” Jon nodded, “I swear. I’d never do that to you, to anyone.”
“But you thought it was okay to kiss me,” Adrien said “To date me! When I had no idea who you are really?”
Jon tossed his hands in the air, “You know who I am. Nothing’s changed. I’m still the same guy. I’m still me!”
“Everything’s changed!” Adrien yelled. “I’m questioning everything. Everything I’ve ever said to you, everything we ever did together!” His entire body shook. “You were sent to get close to us. You were sent to get close to me. To. Get. Information.”
It went quiet. Neither knowing what to say.
“…That day in the park,” Adrien whispered. “You were on the bench and Chloe thought you were checking me out. You weren’t, were you? You were watching me, us. Gathering intel. Weren’t you?”
Jon looked away, “…Yeah, I was.”
You knew I was Chat Noir even then?”
“I did.”
Adrien nodded, “It’s been a lie since the beginning,” He clenched his fists. “In the library, you told me that people deserve the truth. I believed in you. I trusted you. I told you things I’ve haven’t even told people who’ve known my entire life. Because I trusted you. I trusted you were honest and good and you would tell me the truth. Why didn’t I deserve the truth?”
He looked up at the mantle that was covered in pictures of people that Adrien knew as friends and family of Jon, Damian, and Lian, and at all of the pictures of Chloe, Nino, Adrien, and Marinette together with the three; laughing and smiling. And it hurt to look at it. “You’ve been here for almost a year. You three pretended to be our friends, to care, for almost a year.”
“It wasn’t pretend. Or a lie,” Jon looked ready to cry. “You are our friends!”
Adrien ran a hand through his hair, “Then Why? If we were your friends, why?”
Jon shrugged, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. Everything was so complicated. We were never supposed to be here this long. It was our first big mission. The first mission JL trusted us to handle alone. I could give you a thousand excuses but I know they wouldn’t be good enough.”
“They wouldn’t be,” Adrien agreed. “They aren’t. They never will be.”
It went silent again. Jon and Adrien just stared at each other.
“You weren’t sent to get close us,” Adrien repeated. “Not just learn about Hawkmoth. But you were specifically sent to get close us; learn who we are as heroes and as civilians. Hawkmoth was a bonus. But you were sent for Ladybug and Chat Noir and Queen Bee and Carapace. Right?”
Jon looked down, away from Adrien’s soul-piercing gaze, and admitted, “You were the mission.”
Adrien closed his eyes, stood up straight, and with every ounce of control he could muster, he calmly said, “Goodbye, Jon.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” Jon said.
“That doesn’t really matter, because, in the end, it all hurts the same,” Adrien replied and left.
For the next few hours, Jon saying, “You were the mission,” Kept echoing in Adrien’s head on a loop.
Not long after leaving Jon’s place, Adrien would find himself in Marinette’s room, letting the bluenette cry her eyes out into his shoulder, shedding his own tears too. Chloe would arrive next with bloodshot eyes, and cuddle next to them. Nino, just after her, looking like a wreck and would take the spot next to Adrien.
It would be hours before they’d calm themselves down. But it wouldn’t be until the next day that any of them managed to ask what they should next.
Chloe spitefully suggested kicking them out of Paris.
Nino agreed halfheartedly.
Adrien was fine with just ignoring them. At least he hoped that he could. He would try really, really hard to.
Marinette didn’t say a word. Instead, she just let them talk with a faraway look on her face.
In the end, it wouldn’t matter.
By Monday, Jon, Damian, and Lian would be gone. Bustier would announce that the exchange program ended.
And Adrien would find himself frequently staring at Jon’s empty seat.
Chat Galore: So it turns out… Jon’s a big jerk
Chat Galore: He wasn’t who I thought he was.
Chat Galore: It’s complicated but to summarize he’s a jerk.
Iron’s Kid: Screw Prince Charming if he turned out to be a warty, jerky frog.
Iron’s Kid: You deserve better.
Chat Galore: To quote Gabriella Montez: Now I know you're not a fairy tale And dreams were meant for sleeping And wishes on a star Just don't come true
Iron’s Kid: Crap, you're quoting high school musical. You're really hurting, aren’t you.
Iron’s Kids: Want to watch shitty Disney Channel movies and talk?
Chat Galore: …Yes.
Three months, two weeks, six days, nine hours, and twelve minutes. That was how long it took for Adrien to move on. For all of them to move on from the sense of betrayal.
Iron’s Kid: YOU STILL HAVEN’T WATCHED PRINCESS BRIDE
Chat Galore: It doesn’t seem like that good of a movie
Iron’s Kid: ‘Insulted Gasp’ How. Dare. YOU!
Chat Galore: You still have watched Vampire Diaries!
Iron’s Kid: I have taste!
It took almost three weeks for Chloe to stop growling whenever someone mentioned Damian, Jon, or Lian’s name.
Iron’s Kid: I might need to hide out in Paris for a while
Chat Galore: Did you blow up your dad’s lab again?
Iron’s Kid: Worse!
Chat Galore: You superglue legos to your Pop’s shield again.
Iron’s Kid: That was an accident. They were supposed to come right off. And it's worse.
Chat Galore: Melt another hole in your living room floor?
Iron’s Kid: So. SO much worse.
Chat Galore: You didn’t call Natasha fat did you?
Iron’s Kid: Never that bad
Iron’s Kid: I may or may not have caused MJ’s laptop to crash
Chat Galore: … Shit
Chat Galore: Not even the gods could save you.
A month for Marinette to not look like she wanted to cry when she thought about Damian.
Chat Galore: I’ve decided to learn to cook
Iron’s Kid: Sweet
Chat Galore: Just think One day you will try my cooking.
Iron’s Kid: Sorry, Can’t I’m on a new diet.
Chat Galore: WHAT DIET?
Iron’s Kid: Photosynthesis
Two months for Nino to redownload all the songs he deleted because Lian recommended them.
Iron’s Kid: Archie is one of my best friends
Chat Galore: *doing the Fortnite dance*
Iron’s Kid: I lied I don’t know you
Three months for Adrien to be able to sit in the park and not think about Jon.
Iron’s Kid: I think are MJ and Shure are laughing at me
Chat Galore: Don't be so paranoid
Iron’s Kid: They're pointing at me and laughing.
In the fourth month, things are pretty much the same as they ever were. Though everyone picked up the habit of pretending they didn’t know Marinette started texting Damian again. Eventually, the gang was okay when Marinette announced she was seeing Damian again; even if they, themselves, decided not to deal with the American heroes.
Chat Galore: I really thought 2020 would be a great year!!!
Iron’s Kid: …WWIII was trending in the first week of January.
Time went on. Adrien went on dates, had fun, had a boyfriend or two. He grew up a bit, and kind of understood the position Jon had been in better. And then he wasn’t so angry. Still, a bit hurt though.
Iron’s Kid: I’m sending good vibes your way, they’re coming and there is nothing you can do to stop the
Chat Galore: that is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
By the time summer hit, Adrien decided to take a step back from love and romance and just focus on himself. He finally told his dad his wanted to be a Lawyer, and to his surprise, his dad helped him get a summer internship at a prestigious law firm.
Chat Galore: I’ve decided if I kill Lila, I’ll make it look like an accident.
Chat Galore: Unlike Chloe who has plans to mount her head on the balcony like a warning to the next that may come
Iron’s Kid: How will you make it look like an accident?
Chat Galore: I have a crowbar and a banana.
Iron’s Kid: Quick request: Go look up accident in the dictionary.
He quit modeling because he never really liked it. He found out he liked to paint and was pretty good at it. He tried and failed to learn how to dance.
He did learn to surf.
Adrien hung out a lot with Nico, who had become a good friend.
By the time summer ended, the gang was back on speaking terms with Damian, Lian, and Job. Mostly at Marinette’s behest. She and Damian were going strong. And she really wanted everyone to forgive and forget and be friends.
Chloe just agreed to be civil.
Nino agreed to try being friends again after the three apologized.
Adrien, mostly out of love for his all but sister Marnette, put his best foot forward and start over with them – even Jon. They agreed to be friends. Just friends.
Iron’s Kid: I don’t have a nervous system.
Iron’s Kid: I am a nervous system.
Chat Galore: I’m a Scorpio!
Their final year of school started with a bang. Next year they would all be off at University. And by Bang, Adrien meant Alya knocking Lila the fuck out during the first week.
Lila had told the one lie Alya couldn’t just live in denial with.
“I told Ladybug, I just couldn’t do it anymore,” Lila sighed, “I already have so many medical issues. I couldn’t be Rene Rouge anymore. Ladybug was devasted.”
Then the entire class heard Lila scream, and the thing they knew Alya was on top of Lila beating the hell out of her, screaming, “You lying little WITCH!!”
Chat Galore: ‘Video Sent’
Iron’s Kid: Lila’s the girl on the floor right?
Chat Galore: Alya SNAPPED
Lila transferred out of the school Alya transferred out of class. No one got an apology. Adrien didn’t know why he was still a little surprised.
Outside of school, Adrien was pleased to say the gang’s friendship with Jon, Lian, and Damian was back to full force. Even Chloe greeted the three warmly.
Once Adrien decided to move passed any lingering romantic feelings for Jon, they managed to have a pretty good friendship. Even the Superboy and Chat Noir team-ups were going well.
Chat Galore: what should I be for Halloween this year?
Iron’s Kid: a vampire, Batman, my boyfriend, Superman
Adrien laughs until everything processed in his mind.
Chat Galore: What?
He didn’t get a reply. And Adrien figured it was just autocorrected. But still… his mind couldn’t help but wonder. Just a bit… What if?
A while ago, he had vaguely considered that maybe him and Iron’s Kid had something, could possibly be…
In the middle of Winter break, Adrien got the best gift he could’ve ever asked for.
Iron’s Kid: I’ve been thinking
Chat Galore: Well that can’t end well
Iron’s Kid: Have you and MJ been talking behind my back
Iron’s Kid: Wait don’t answer that. I’m afraid to know
Iron’s Kid: Ned made a point the today
Adrien waited for Iron’s Kid to elaborate more, because what?
Iron’s Kid: I’ve been stupid.
Chat Galore: Ned makes a good point, lol
Iron’s Kid: WHAT I’m TRYING TO say is; I trust you
Adrien smiled as his phone.
Iron’s Kid: We’ve been friends since we were like 11
Iron’s Kid: I want to meet
Iron’s Kid: I want to know what you look like.
Adrien agreed instantly. Because he’s been waiting for like six years. They agreed to meet up that spring. Iron’s Kid’s was going on a trip to Europe for his spring break. It was just going to be him and a few classmates who were in the same club as him. Iron’s Kid said everyone else in their grade was looking forward to the Big Senior Ski Trip at the Brown Bear Ski Lodge that happened every year.
Adrien had family in England. They would meet at six pm at the London’s Eye.
Chat Galore: I always figured you were secretly a werewolf and knew we’d automatically be enemies.
Iron’s Kid: Wait, why would we be enemies?
Iron’s Kid: Oh You’re a Cat!
Chat Galore: And You’re supposed to be a genius.
Iron’s Kid: Meow!
Adrien’s seventeenth birthday came and went without any fireworks; metaphorical ones anyway. His party was huge.
He also met the Justice League and got to watch Chloe cuss out the greatest heroes in the world for the invasion of privacy. Marinette, Adrien, and Nino just watched with smiles on their faces.
He was counting down the days. Until he and Iron’s Kid finally met. It was strange to think it was really going to happen.
Chat Galore: Would you say you’re an independent person?
Iron’s Kid: MJ told me to say to yes.
Chat Galore: Stop being weird.
Iron’s Kid: As you wish.
Adrien chuckled.
“What?” Marinette asked. He showed her the text. “It kind of funny.
“Not the Mj thing,” Adrien shook his head. “Iron’s Kid always says ‘As You wish’ whenever I tell him to do something. It’s weird.”
“…Like in Princess Bride,” Marinette asked.
Adrien shrugged, “Never seen it. It’s one of Iron’s favorite though. Irritates him that I refuse to watch it. But I won’t until he watches the Vampire Diaries.”
Marinette stared at him, “And Iron’s Kid says ‘As you Wish’ every time.”
“Yep.”
“Adrien, WATCH. THAT. MOVIE,” Marinette ordered a firm look on her face.
Adrien pointed at her, “No!” He said firmly. “It goes against my principles.” She shot him a curious look. “I have a duty to annoying Iron’s Kid in any way I can.”
The bluenette nodded understandingly, a small smile on her face, “Makes sense,” She said. “I totally accept your reasoning.”
Adrien smiled happily… Like a fool.
In retrospect, he should’ve known Marinette would never back down that easily.
And that was how he ended up literally hogtied on the couch, the Princess Bride playing on the TV, with a smug Chloe and a gleeful Marinette next to him. Nino watched from the recliner with an easy grin on his face.
“You’ve could’ve helped!” Adrien complained to his friend.
Nino shrugged, “I did help!” He defended. “…Them.”
Adrien sighed and allowed himself to watch the movie; he fully knows two things.
One; there was no way he was getting out of this
Two; Iron’s Kid was never going to let him live this down.
The movie was actually pretty good. But then…
The scene played…
Grandpa: Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.
Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
Buttercup: Farm boy ... fetch me that pitcher.
Westley: As you wish.
Adrien’s mind went blank. His heart started beating faster than it ever had before. It couldn’t mean…
Iron’s kid didn’t mean…
Right?
But what if he did.
Adrien always sort of held a small torch for his penpal. And he never had any concrete evidence that said he felt the same. And he was waiting until he did.
But what if Iron’s Kid was waiting too. What if he was waiting for Adrien to finally say something; to finally get his message.
Chat Galore: So…
Iron’s Kid: So… Did we agree to stop sending cryptic messages
Chat Galore: We did not
Chat Galore: So I finally watched Princess Bride
Iron’s Kid: YES!!!!!!!!! Finally!!! Fuck yeah! Tell you me loved it.
Chat Galore: It was good, you freaking loser
Iron’s Kid: It’s amazing. It’s a classic you asshat
Chat Galore: Learned something interesting though
Chat Galore: ‘As you wish’, huh? You say a lot
Chat Galore: To me.
Adrien stared as his phone waiting for a reply. It came after ten minutes.
Iron’s Kid: I do.
Chat Galore: Does it mean what it's supposed to.
Another five minutes, and it felt agony.
Iron’s Kid: It does
Adrien screamed a little
Chat Galore: Are you seriously just going to give me two-word answers? Why didn’t just you tell me
Iron’s Kid: In a way I sort of did
Adrien glared at the phone.
Chat Galore: You are the most frustrating person to ever exist!!!!!!
Iron’s Kid: Thank you
Adrien took a deep breath before dialing, “You suck!” He said as soon as it answered.
“I told you to watch the movie,” Iron’s kid defended.
Adrien gripped his hair, “You don’t tell someone you love them by using some obscure 80s movie reference!” He snapped. “How hard would it be to say: Iron’s Kid, I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you since we were twelve-years-old.”
It went quiet as both processed what Adrien just said.
“…That’s oddly specific,” Iron’s kid whispered.
Adrien took a deep breath, “Yeah it is.” He said. He was forcing himself to be brave, braver than he ever had before. “But its how I feel. And I can’t help that.”
“I love you too,” Iron’s kid said. “And I’ve loved you since the first time stayed up talking while Binge-watching Harry Potter. It was the first time I realized you know me best in the entire world, and you don’t even know my real name. I could be honest with you in a way I can’t be with anyone. If I could dream up the perfect guy, he wouldn’t even come close to you.”
“Boys meets world,” Adrien let out a small laugh, that sounded a bit more like a sob. “Most of my life I felt alone, even when I was with people. That was until I met you.”
“Pretty little liars,” Iron’s Kid stated.
“In a few weeks, we’re finally gonna meet.”
“I’ll be there,” Iron’s kid said. “I swear.”
Adrien smiled, “Good because I’ve been waiting for six years. And I know this is scary, but I will be there. Don’t let me down.”
“I won’t,” He promised.
Valentine’s day came and went.
Adrien was literally marking off the days on the calendar. The trip was all planned already; Nino, Chloe, and Marinette were tagging along.
Iron’s Kid and Adrien talked every day.
“Okay if you sigh dreamily one more...” Nico teased.
Adrien flushed a bright pink, “I’m finally gonna meet Iron’s Kid.”
“Ahh,” Nico nodded understandingly. “The mysterious penpal. It’s been what seven years?”\
“Six,” Adrien corrected. “Feels like twice that. We like each other,” He admitted. “Like really, really each other. We told each other a few weeks ago.’
Nico frowned, “Just before meeting each other. Sounds like a lot of pressure. You ready for that?”
The blond took a deep breath, “Yeah, I think so. It’s time. It’s going to be perfect. We’re gonna meet at London’s eyes, under the stars; it’ll be like a movie.”
“Your Ferris wheel moment,” Nico concluded. “Marinette told me,” The older boy explained. “Just… be careful okay.”
“I will be.”
Nico gave him a hard look, “I’m serious. I know you. You’re all in. You always are,” he said. “Just don’t build this some more than you should. Don’t go in thinking it’ll be this picture-perfect movie moment. I don’t want to see you let down.” He told Adrien. “You’re my friend. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Adrien gave him a small smile, “I don’t care if the Ferris wheel is broken when I get there. Or its raining cats and dogs. It’ll be perfect.”
“Just be careful,” Nico repeated.
The big day came. Adrien arrived in England on late Thursday with a stomach full of butterflies. Iron’s Kid had texted that he had been in London with his friends for a few days and that he couldn’t wait to see Adrien.
Iron’s Kid: I have brown hair. I’ll be wearing black slacks, and a rose lapel flower pin.
It wasn’t the first time the blond had been to England; he had more than a few photoshoots there. Yet somehow it all felt different. It all felt new. And it was like he was looking at everything again for the first time.
He was to meet Iron’s Kid on Saturday at 6 pm. And he could barely contain himself
He spent most of the Friday touring with his friends. They went to Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, The British Museum; standard tourist spots. And eating really, really British cuisine.
Adrien woke up bright and early on Saturday and pretty much had a panic attack. It took Nino twenty minutes to calm him down. However, even when he was breathing normally again, Adrien was adamant about running back to Paris. That was when Nino called in Marinette and Chloe as reinforcements.
“If I have to drag to London’s Eye by your tacky boyband haircut,” Chloe growled. “I will.”
Marinette tried the nice route, “Everything’s going to be fine,” She assured.
Chloe huffed, “I didn’t come all the way to London so you can be a little bitch.”
“You are so hostile,” Nino complained.
“What if this a mistake?” Adrien asked. “What if he’s disappointed? What if he takes one look at me, and is ‘You? I waited six years, and I get you. Waste of time.”
“That won’t happen!” Marinette said. “He’s gonna love you. He already does!”
Nino nodded, “Yeah. You two are practically soulmates.”
“No!” Chloe held up a finger. “Listen to me clearly, Adrien Agreste; Just because he likes the same nerdy crap you do doesn't mean he's your soul mate. And if it doesn’t work out, not that it won’t, you will be just fine.”
Marinette sighed, “No matter what happens everything is going to be okay.” She said firmly. “But you should really change that blazer. It’s not doing you any favors. Then we’re going to get breakfast and go to the museum. You have 11 hours until you have to be at the London’s eye. You’re going to relax until.”
“While we stop you from fleeing the country,” Nino yawned tiredly.
That had to stop Adrien at least three times. One time Ladybug actually had appeared to pick Adrien up when he was halfway to the airport. This was all before one pm.
The blond boy managed to calm down after that. Then he went back to bursting with excitement. He was still afraid but he couldn’t let that stop him. Adrien has been waiting six years to meet Iron’s Kid, to meet Iron’s Kid.
He arrived at the London’s eye, half an hour before six. He wore a silver suit Marinette had designed for him.
Adrien took calming breaths. Marinette rolled her eyes as she fixed his tie, “See? This isn't so bad. You look amazing.”
“Are you kidding?” He gave her a nervous smile, “He traveled over three thousand miles to me. Any second now he's gonna get here, look at me and go, "Ha. Yeah, right, you're so not worth this.”
Marinette gave him a hard look, “Yes, you are.” She patted his chest. “Take a lot of pictures. Text if you need anything.”
And then she was gone.
Adrien texted Iron’s Kid.
Chat Galore: I’m here. Blond; silver suit.
The blond looked up at the London’s eyes, the biggest Ferris wheel had ever seen, and knew this was it. This was the moment Adrien had been waiting for. He smiled.
When six pm came, Adrien was practically bursting at the seams. He was literally shaking in excitement. He watched the people go by and held his breath every time he saw a guy his age with brown hair but would frown when he didn’t see the rose lapel pin.
Chat Galore: You here yet?
Six turned into seven. The sun had gone down. The stars were shining. Everything looked so perfect. Adrien was sure Iron’s Kid was on his way.
Chat Galore: If your running late it’s cool. I’ll wait.
Seven turned into eight. Adrien refused to give up hope. He would wait no matter how long it took.
Iron’s Kid was worth it.
Chat Galore: Still here.
Chat Galore: Did something come up?
Eight turned into nine. The London’s eye closed. People started leaving. Adrien texted his friends that he was fine.
He wasn’t feeling as hopeful as he did a few hours ago. But he’d wait.
Chat Galore: Still waiting.
Chat Galore: Well past feeling just a little pathetic.
Nine turned into ten. Hope kind of then.
Chat Galore: Still here. Still waiting.
Chat Galore: What happened?
Chat Galore: Just say something!
Ten turned to eleven. Adrien didn’t even know why he was still waiting.
Chat Galore: Anything! Please!
A quarter to midnight, Adrien finally got an answer.
Iron’s Kid: I’m sorry.
That was it. That was all he said.
Adrien got back to his hotel room a little after midnight; feeling numb. His throat burned a little. His eyes were a little red.
Nino greeted him with a big grin, “Back late, huh? Must’ve had a good time…” He trailed off when he saw the look on Adrien’s face. “Oh god, what happened?”
Adrien shoved his hands in his pockets, “He, uh, he never showed up,” he said and swallowed the lump that had been building in his throat. “It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s okay.” Adrien nodded. “I need to, I have to, uh. I got to the bathroom.” And then he fled into the bathroom, locking the door behind him; willing the world to just stop existing for just a few moments.
“Dude, it’s okay,” Nino said through the door. “I know this has to be rough. But you’ll get through it. I’m here. I called Chloe and Marinette, they’re on their way.”
Adrien didn’t say anything. He just wiped the tears off his face, and then gripped the bathroom sink.
“They’ll probably be banging on the door any sec,” Nino added. “Unless, Marinette’s trying to stop Chloe from committing murder,” He joked. “Which would be way rude by the way. I’d have liked an invitation. I thought our friendship was stronger.”
Adrien heard loud knocking and the sweet voice of Marinette asking where he was, and the furious voice of Chloe already talking about how she knew how t to hide a body.
The blond boy figured it was only a matter of time before Nino or Marinette convinced him to open up the door. Or Chloe broke it down.
However, surprisingly after twenty or so minutes of his friends pleading with him to open the door, the door would gently swing open to reveal Marinette kneeling with a lockpick set in her hands.
That got a smile out of Adrien. After all these years, the bluenette was still full of surprises.
Adrien spent the rest of the night letting his friends comfort him. They left England the next morning.
When they got back to Paris, and Adrien was back in the comfort of his room, he finally texted Iron’s Kid back.
Chat Galore: Why didn’t you show?
He’d wait for a reply all day but wouldn’t get one.
The next day, Adrien texted again.
Chat Galore: I’m not mad.
Chat Galore: I promise
Chat Galore: just a little hurt.
Again, he’d wait for a reply all day, but it didn’t come.
Though his friends tried to get him to talk about it, Adrien wouldn’t budge. He just couldn’t…
It just stung too much. It burned too much.
Chat Galore: I get it if you were afraid or something
Chat Galore: It’s okay.
And was the truth; it was fine.
He would be fine. Everything was good. It was okay.
Adrien would be fine.
That was what he told everyone.
Chat Galore: We can pretend this never happened if you want
Chat Galore: Just be friends.
Adrien still didn’t get a reply. That didn’t stop him from waiting for one. He figured Iron’s Kid was just embarrassed that he didn’t show or something. Everything would go back to normal after a few days.
Chat Galore: I’m going to see Onward. Heard its pretty good.
But a few days became a week. A week became two. Two weeks a became a month of radio silence. And a seed of worrying starting to grow in Adrien’s stomach. Nevertheless, Adrien wrote Iron’s Kid once a day. He refused to give up hope.
Adrien kept a smile on his face to stop his friends from being concerned. There was no reason to. He would be fine. It was okay. It wasn’t the first time he got his heart broken; probably would even be his last.
His days were split between studying and fight Hawkmoth. The villain was getting bolder and more desperate. Every Akuma seemed worse and stronger than the last. The kids got used to the feeling of always being dead on their feet.
Marinette finally decided they needed a break and ordered a family game night. She got the newly permanent heroes Luka, Kagami, and Aurore to cover for them.
Adrien tried to give all his attention to the monopoly game they played; laughed when he was supposed to. Tried to ignore that in the back of his mind, his attention was still a bit focused on his phone, and that fact that it's been a month since he heard from Iron’s Kid.
A month since London.
He barely even blinked twice when Marinette successfully bankrupted him, even though he was the first one out. Instead, as soon as the game got more intense, Adrien stuck away. He found himself on the roof the bakery, staring at the stars, clutching his phone in his hand.
Chat Galore: I’m running out of things to say
Chat Galore: Hard to have a one-sided conversation.
Chat Galore: I’m not even sure you’re reading this.
Chat Galore: Maybe I’ll just you send you movie quotes until you respond
Adrien looked back up at the stars and wished. He wished never agreed to meet Iron’s Kid. He wished he never told him he loved him. He wished he could take it all back because at least he’d still have his friend.
He wrapped his arms around himself. Adrien blinked back the tears that were building.
He heard the door open behind him and figured it was Chloe or Nino coming to check on him; whoever got kicked out of the game firsts. Because Marinette was going to win.
“Beautiful night,” A voice said. “Nothing quite like Paris in the springtime.”
Adrien cast a quick smile at Nico, “I always preferred it during Winter. A Snowy wonderland.” He went back to looking up at the stars.
“You know someday someone will walk into your life,” Nico said as he walked to stand next to the blond, “And make you realize why he never worked out with anyone else.”
“Go ahead,” Adrien laughed bitterly. “Tell me I told you so.”
Nico shrugged, ‘Iron’s Kid’s a kid. And an idiot.”
“Yeah,” The blond sobbed. “That doesn’t mean much coming from you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nico crossed his arms.
“Nothing,” Adrien rolled his eyes. “I’m just tired… I'm so tired of falling for guys that don't fall back. It hurts.”
“Adrien, I…”
Adrien cut him off, “It’s the same thing every time. I’m all in, and they’re not. I’m the one left out in the cold. I’m waiting, looking like a total idiot. Because I was stupid enough to give all my heart when no one else ever does. So you wanna help me, Nico? Tell me what I do wrong.
“Nothing!” Nico gripped Adrien’s shoulders. “There is nothing wrong with you. You’re smart and talented. You’re caring and you’re funny. You look at this world like everything is possible, and you make me believe it too. You’re not the problem.”
“Tell me why I'm so easy to give up then,” The blond asked. “And maybe I can fix it”
“You’re asking the wrong guy, Sunshine,” Nico whispered, his forehead against Adrien’s, their lips inches apart. “There is no time or place or world, where it would ever be easy to give you up.”
Nico moved closer; so did Adrien…
“Hey!!” A voice called from downstairs. “New games starting. It’s Poker! Hurry your butts up!”
The two guys snapped back to reality and away from each other.
“You should go,” Nico said dryly, looking away from the other boy. “I’m going to stay here for a bit.”
“Nico…” Adrien said, looking a bit confused.
The older boy shook his head.
The blond nodded and started for the door.
“For what it’s worth,” Nico called. “He made the wrong choice.”.
A small smile spread over Adrien’s face, “I know.”
“I wonder what would’ve happened if we met when we were older,” Nico asked.
Adrien shrugged, “Someday we will be.”
“Long game?”
“Long game.”
He went back to the living room where everyone was waiting, with the cards and poker chips already dealt.
Adrien settled in the seat next to Marinette.
The bluenette shot him a concerned look, “You okay?”
“I’ll be…” Adrien sighed. “Eventually.”
The blond boy decided to chalk up whatever happened on the roof with Nico as… Just the two of them being caught in the moment. Emotions were high.
…That didn’t stop Adrien from smiling every time someone mentioned Nico’s name.
Chat Galore: Everything is possible.
Chat Galore: Even the impossible.
He still wrote Iron’s Kid once every day. Adrien didn’t say much. He just sent a movie quote he liked, just to let Iron’s Kid know he was still there. He was still waiting… if Iron’s Kid ever changed his mind.
Chat Galore: When you can’t look on the Brightside, I will sit with you in the dark.
A month became two.
Chat Galore: In the garden of memory, in the palace of Dreams, that is where you and I shall meet.
Two became three. They figured out who Hawkmoth was. The battle had been epic. Adrien’s father had hesitated when he realized Adrien was Chat Noir, long enough for Ladybug to make the killing shot.
Figuratively anyway.
Ladybug blasted Hawkmoth into a wall. The heroes banded together to remove his miraculous. Then they erased his memory. And then Natalie’s. Of any and all knowledge of magic permanently; defeating Hawkmoth once and for all.
As far as Gabriel knew he was just a recluse workaholic with what barely passed as a decent relationship with his only child.
Adrien was devastated to learn who his father really was. Even so when he discovered the reason behind Hawkmoth’s villainous pursuit; his comatose mother and learned from Fu there was no way to save her; not even with a wish.
The blond boy had long ago mourned his mother and moved on but that it didn’t hurt.
Emilie Agreste was officially declared dead and buried on a sunny Tuesday afternoon in the middle of Spring.
Chat Galore: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it
Three months became four.
At this point, he knows Iron’s Kid’s never going to write him back. And that was okay. Adrien was okay.
People move on. And while Adrien would always wonder why Iron’s Kid never showed, he could live without knowing.
If anyone asked why he was still writing, Adrien would say he didn’t know.
But that was a lie.
He did know.
Iron’s Kid had been a really big part of his life, had been one greatest friend he ever had; had been his first love in a way.
So yes, Adrien knew exactly why he was still writing.
He could live without Iron’s Kid in his life but he couldn’t live without one thing.
Chat Galore: Here's looking at you kid
Adrien officially graduated from school. He was accepted into Columbia. He’d be living in New York. And so, would Chloe, Marinette, and Nino. They decided they wanted to stick together and keep being heroes.
Chloe would be going to Columbia with him to study business and public relations. Marinette would study business and fashion. Nino decided to dedicate his life to being the next great movie director. Adrien would study Law.
They decided to get two apartments across from each other like in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Because that was pretty much all they knew about New York.
Damian would be attending Columbia; he was gearing up to take over Wayne Industries one day. Him and Marinette were still going strong. Lian would be going to Princeton, as Oliver Queen would be damned if his granddaughter went anywhere else. Jon would take a year off to explore the world before attending Metropolis University; he still wanted to Major in Journalism.
Damian kept hinting hard that the Titans, not the Teen Titans, were looking for new members. And as he was the current leader of the Titans, it was less of a hint and more like being actively headhunted by the most aggressive Robin to ever walk the earth.
It was official, they weren’t kids anymore.
Chat Galore: You know that place between sleep and awake where you’re always dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.
They had a few months before they had to move completely to New York, and decided to do something special. Or rather Tom and Sabine did.
And mostly because they just wanted to see where their kids would be living from now on.
Sabine and Tom claimed to find this great deal on a ski resort near New York. Everyone was invited; Nico, Kagami, Luka, Aurore, Lian, Jon, and Damian.
They did the whole tourist thing, led by Nico who was excited his cousin would be living in the same city as him and explored the great New York City, and Tom and Sabine got to see the penthouses, Gabriel and Audrey had bought each their perspective children and were assured their kids would be living in a safe location.
Chat Galore: So maybe it won’t look like you thought it would in high school, but it’s important to remember that love is possible. Anything is possible. This is New York
The Brown Bear Ski Lodge was packed, apparently, some class from a school called Midtown had booked a trip at the same time they did. So the entire lodge was filled with graduating seniors, between the ages of seventeen and eighteen years old.
To say it was wild was an understatement. Sabine vocally wondered why the school though three chaperones to watch over an entire class of students were enough. Tom just comforted Mr. Harrison when he started to cry.
Adrien got to meet loads of kids his age, a few that would even be starting at Columbia the same time as the French kids. It turned out most of the kids from Midtown were insanely smart.
The blond boy ended up spraining his ankle while skiing and ended up spending most of the time on sitting on the lodge’s bay window watching nature and relaxing. He ended up sitting there long after nearly everyone else had gone off to bed.
“Having fun,” A boy his age asked, one of the few people left in the room. He was handsome with light brown hair and kind brown eyes.
“As close as I can get,” Adrien answered.
The brown-haired boy smiled, “Well if you get bored out of your mind, I got some movies on my tablet if you want to watch. I know some pretty good ones.”
“I’m good,” Adrien said. “You can join me if you want. I wouldn’t say no to company.”
The boy did, “Name’s Peter.”
“Adrien.”
“By your accent, I’m guessing your not with the Midtown group,” Peter asked. “Also, because I’m from the Midtown group.”
Adrien snorted, “France. I’ll be living full time in New York come autumn.”
“Is that right?” Peter looked excited by the news. “You’re gonna love it.”
“Yeah, and why’s that?”
And then Peter went on to tell Adrien all about the places and people he loved in New York. They talked for hours until morning rays hit them through the window.
Over the next week of the vacation, the two ended up finding themselves repeating that; talking and letting time disappear.
Chat Galore: I wish I knew how to quit you.
Adrien introduced Peter to Marinette, Chloe, Nino, and the others. Peter introduced him to his friends Michelle, Ned, and Gwen. Like Adrien and his friends, Peter and his friends were pretty much attached at the hip.
“He pissed me off, so I put a porn virus into his computer,” Michelle answered the Marinette’s question as to why a Eugene kept running from her.
Marinette and Adrien had decided to enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate by the fire, only to be joined by Peter’s friends: Michelle and Ned. Another would’ve joined them but he scampered away the second he saw the girl.
“He deserved it,” Michelle added.
“He totally did,” The large Asian boy nodded in agreement. “But MJ you might’ve taken it too far when you made it happen during class.”
Marinette giggled. “Harsh!”
“No mercy, Ned!”
Adrien laughed until his brain processed what was said, “Wait, I thought your name was Michelle?”
Michelle and Ned froze like deer caught in the headlights.
“MJ’s my nickname,” Mj explained cooly. “And we should really be going…”
“Geniuses,” Adrien suddenly recalled; his mind finishing a calculation, he didn’t even realize he was trying to figure out. “Who goes to a school for super-smart kids. MJ, scary queen who could rule the universe,” He pointed at her. “Ned; loveable teddy bear nerd with a fixation on Legos. A bully named Eugene who I’m guessing goes by Flash.” He swallowed hard, and fixed hard green eyes on the two kids in front of him. “Did you take a class trip to Europe in Spring? Keep in mind I would really like you to say no.”
Ned and MJ paled.
“Ned and MJ,” Adrien repeated. “Iron’s Kid’s best friends…” He whispered. “Peter’s best friends. Peter is Iron’s Kid, isn’t he?”
MJ narrowed her eyes at him, “Chat Galore: Adrien Agreste.”
Adrien’s entire body froze. He tried to remain calm, “This can’t be happening.”
Marinette glared at them, “Your friends with Iron’s Kid!” She growled. “Peter is Iron’s Kid. What was he thinking? How could he just stand Adrien up? I’ll kill him!”
“I never told you my last name!” Adrien realized. “How did you?”
“We hacked into Peter’s phone a few months ago,” MJ shrugged. “And traced your Ip address.”
Adrien glared, “And Peter knew? When I got here, he knew who I was didn’t?” He accused. “He lied right to my face!”
“It’s complicated!” Ned looked at Adrien with wide eyes. “Yeah, he knew who you were when he saw you. He just wanted a do-over. It’s weird I know. I told him not to do it!”
MJ looked at Marinette, “You should kill him. It was a bitch move,” She said. “But if it means anything, he regrets not showing up at London’s eye.” This part she told Adrien.
“Like super regrets it!” Ned added. “You can’t beat him up half as much as he does himself.”
“I can try,” Marinette crossed her arms.
“He reads your texts every day,” Mj said.
Adrien stood up angrily, “Then why doesn’t he text back?” He demanded to know. “Why didn’t he show up at the London’s eye. I waited! I’ve been waiting!”
MJ shrugged, “I can’t answer that,” She said. “Only he can. I can only tell you he was stupid. And he overreacted. You deserve to hear everything from him.”
Ned nodded eagerly, “He really likes you. He nearly dropped dead when he saw you were here. Just let him explain!”
“No!” Adrien snapped. “I don’t want to see him. Ever.” He clenched his fists. “I… I just can’t.”
And he stumped away.
He went to his room and packed his bags. He was getting out of there. He was leaving he had nothing to say to Iron’s Kid. Or Peter. Or whoever he was.
There was a knock on his door.
“Go. Away!” Adrien snapped.
“I can’t do that!” It was Jon that surprisingly said that.
“Come in!” The door opened. “What do you want?” Adrien asked. “Sorry, I’m just a bit busy right now.”
Jon wore a red plaid shirt over a white t-shirt and blue jeans, “Don’t leave,” He told Adrien.
“I have to,” The blond said he snuffed his suitcase.
“You can’t!”
Adrien all but snarled, “Look you don’t understand. You don’t get it.” He said. “I have to leave.”
“Yeah I do,” Jon said and shut the door behind him. “Super hearing, remember? I know everything that’s going on. You can’t go, not like this.”
“Yes, I-” The blond started but was cut off.
Jon grabbed his shoulders and sat him on the bed, “You deserve an answer. You’ve been waiting for an answer,” He stated. “You deserve to know why he didn’t show up.”
“And why he decided to mess with me for the last week?!!”
“That I understand!” Jon said. “He wanted to start over. Second chances are hard to come by. And once upon a time, there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done for one.”
“And you think he deserves one?”
“Just talk to him,” Superboy said. “Or scream at him. Whatever.”
Adrien ran a hand through his hair, “I haven’t been waiting for an answer,” He admitted. “I would’ve liked one, but I wasn’t waiting for it.”
“You love him,” Jon said. “You did. Or do. I know. Because I remember how you used to look when he texted you. I know… Because you used to look like that around me.”
“Jon…”
“I saw you two together,” Jon said. “You’re good together. Leaving now would be a big mistake. I’m saying that as your friend. Meet him, talk to him. Even nothing happens. Or everything does.”
Adrien hid his face in his hands and groaned, “Even if it’s just to reject him?” He crossed his arms. “Wouldn’t it be better to just leave?”
“Not for you,” Jon shook his head. “Look, if you reject him now, he's gonna make it his life's mission to go out there and meet the most perfect, beautiful guy or girl in the world just to try and get over you. And he'll end up marrying this other person and spending the rest of his life with them. And you know, he'll tell himself that they're perfect and... He really must be happy, but they won't be you, you know? And that’s the worst thing that will happen.”
It went quiet.
“Follow your heart, Adrien,” Jon added. “It’s what you do best. And it’s the best thing about you.”
Then the boy of steel left.
And Adrien was alone with his thoughts.
Chat Galore: Relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it?
Adrien left. It wasn’t his finest moment and not his bravest. But he left. Because he wasn’t ready to see Peter. Not yet. He texted his friends and tom and Sabine that he was leaving and that he’d okay… eventually.
He’d go back to New York City, leave on the next flight out. He’d back to the big Apple two months later, move into his apartment with Nino, Marinette, and Chloe and start his life there.
Two weeks after that Chloe would get the opportunity of a lifetime, a PR internship for college credit at Stark Industries. The blonde girl invited them all to go on her tour with her; apparently, she was told she could bring friends.
Adrien would frown when he heard but not say anything. Peter wasn’t the only one with friends that could track an IP address.
It was time. No more running.
Stark Tower was everything, the kids all dreamed it would be. A scientist, futuristic wonderland. They oohhh’ed and awed. And Adrien tried to enjoy himself and keep his mouth closed.
Even when the most advanced elevator in the entire world “mysteriously” malfunctioned and took them to the very top floor; otherwise known as the place the Avengers lived.
“Sorry about that,” Tony Stark, himself, gave them his most charming grin when the doors opened and he was standing right there. “We’ll get that fixed right away.” He promised. “Come on kiddies, let me show you where the big kids play.”
He led them to the living room where Captain America was watching TV.
“Hey, babe!” Tony grinned. “This is Chloe, Pepper’s newest intern. Marinette, Nino, and… Adrien.”
“Tony…” Steve Roger gave his husband a chastising look.
“Cap…”
Adrien huffed and glared at the occupants in the room, “Cut the crap,” He ordered them, drawing surprised looks from his friends. “Where’s Peter?” He asked. “Iron’s Kid,” Tony smirked at the name. “Is Peter. Peter Stark-Rogers.”
His friends turned fierce glares at the Avengers.
“It’s a setup!” Chloe accused.
“Heroes are supposed, to be honest,” Marinette chided.
Nino crossed his arms, “What a letdown.”
“Where’s Peter?” Adrien asked again.
“He’s coming,” Tony said. “You three and my hotter than the sun husband come with me; I’ll show you the training room that you can use full time If Ladybug, Queen Bee, Carapace, and Chat Noir decides they wanted to ditch the Justice League and hang with the Major Leagues.”
His friends paled at the fact that Tony Stark and probably all the Avengers knew their superhero identities and followed Iron Man out of the room. Steve just sighed at his husband’s antics and follow him out.
Adrien crossed his arms and waited.
The elevator would ping, and five minutes later Peter would walk into the living room. They just at each other for a few moments.
“I’m sorry,” Peter finally said.
Adrien shook his head, “I don’t want your apologies. I came here… I waited here… for the same reason I’ve waited the last seven months,” He said. “I only waited to say goodbye.”
“Goodbye?” Peter gave him half a smile. “We’ve only just met.”
Adrien pointed him, “Don’t!” He said. “Don’t quote movies at me.” He snapped. “Why?” Adrien asked. “Why weren’t you there? How could you not be there?!”
“I was!” Peter said. “I was there. I saw you. I was terrified. And I left.”
“I was afraid too!” Adrien said. “The difference is I still showed up. I waited six years to meet you. And I waited at the London’s eye for almost seven hours, and you just left me. You blew me off.”
“I’m sorry!” Peter yelled. “I’m so sorry. It was the biggest mistake of my life.”
Adrien clenched his fists. “Why didn’t you write me back? Why did you pretend at the lodge?”
“I don’t know,” Peter admitted. “I really don’t. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just saw you and my mind just went blank. I thought it was like fate giving me a second chance. I didn’t do it right. I screw up. Again!”
“A second chance?” Adrien glared at him. “You think that was your second chance? No. Your second chance was I texted asking what happened. You got another chance every time I texted you. I texted you every day for six months. Those were your chances!” He yelled. “If it was over for you, you could have told me. Said something. But you left me in the dark. If you didn’t feel the same about me, you could’ve told me. I just wanted my friend back!”
“Adrien, I…”
“Why didn’t you write me back?” Adrien asked, tears burning in his eyes. “Why? It wasn’t over for me. Six months, that’s one hundred and eighty-two days. I wrote you one hundred and eighty-two times. I waited for you! It’s too late now. It’s over!”
Peter looked ready to cry, “I wrote you over three hundred emails. I have them saved on my computer I never sent them. I didn’t think they’d be enough. They’re still not enough. It’s wasn’t over for me. It’s still not over.”
“Why?” Adrien asked again. “Why didn’t Iron’s Kid show up? Why was he so afraid?”
Peter just looked at the blond boy for a moment, before taking a deep breath, “Iron’s Kid thinks about that moment every day. He used to think he didn’t show up because he was afraid of what would happen; that it wouldn’t work out. That he’d lose one his best friends.” He said. “That them being together would ruin everything. Because they were just kids; they were stupid and young. But that was just a lie he told himself because he was afraid. The truth is, He was at the London’s eye that night, he saw Chat Galore: the most perfect person he’d ever seen and got scared for a completely different reason.”
“Why?”
Peter stepped towards Adrien, “Once he figured that out, and he figured that out really quick but only when it was just too late, Iron’s Kid didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say to make it right. So he said nothing. And it killed him every day. Iron’s Kid would give anything to go back to that night at the London’s eye, to back to that moment when they were supposed to meet. Before everything went wrong. Iron’s kid would tell Chat Galore everything he always wanted. But he couldn’t. Because doesn’t work like that. Instead, he was so sorry for what he had done.”
Adrien just listened.
“Because Iron’s Kid realized,” Peter said, “That he wasn’t afraid that night because he thought it wouldn’t work out; that Chat Galore wasn’t the one. He was absolutely terrified because he knew he was. And if Adrien could just give him one more chance. Just one more chance, he’d spend the rest of his making it up to him.”
“Peter…”
“I love you,” Peter said. “I’m totally and completely in love with you. And I don’t care if you think its too late. I’m telling you anyway. Because if I don’t, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you’re the one for me.”
Adrien just sighed and looked away, wondering what he should do.
“I don’t what’s going to happen in the future,” Peter said. “I don’t if in the time I was an idiot if Jon or Nico or Luka,” He chuckled, and so did Adrien. “Won your heart. I just know… I may not be your first love, but I intend to be your last. However long it takes.”
A smile spread across Adrien’s face, “You watched it,” He said. “You finally watched the Vampire diaries. It only took you, what? Seven years.”
“Six and a half,” Peter corrected. “Sorry I made you wait.”
“I know,” Adrien nodded. “I need some time, okay. I need to get my head on straight. Before I decide anything.”
“I understand,” Peter agreed eagerly. “I get it. I’ll wait.”
Adrien would take two weeks to decide what he was feeling and what he wanted to do. And when the two weeks were over, he knew exactly what he wanted, and who he wanted. So he made a call.
And then ended up a Coney island, next to The Wonder Wheel, one of the most famous Ferris wheels in the world. He waited in line and happily got on the ride. The seats next to him were quickly filled by Marinette, Chloe, and Nino.
“Finally getting your Ferris wheel moment?” Nino asked as the ride started.
Adrien smiled, “Yeah. Except I wanted the people I love the most with me.”
“Awww,” Marinette hugged him. “We love you too.”
“That’s a dollar for the overly sentimental jar,” Chloe glared at him. “And no more rom-com for you.”
Adrien snorted.
The kids enjoyed the ride, and when it was over, and they got off, Marinette asked, “So you didn’t choose anyone?”
“Well…” He motioned to the guy waiting at the exit of the ride. “I wouldn’t say that. I’m done. No more waiting, no more long game, no more… anything. Its time I get a little more proactive.”
Chloe smirked, “About time. Get it, Agreste!”
“Just remember you have a roommate,” Nino smirked.
The three walked off to enjoy the rest of the amusement park.
Adrien smiled at them, and then smirked at the guy waiting for him, “Wait long?”
“I’d wait forever.”
#ml fic#ml salt#adrien agreste#ADRIEN DESERVES BETTER#marinette dupain cheng#Marinette deserves better#adrien sugar#gaydrien#chloe bourgeois#Nino lahiffe#daminette#Damian Wayne#Jon Kent#peter parker#tony stark#alya bashing#lila bashing#alya salt#class salt#nico di angelo#pjo
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Depression.
I have learnt about myself more in the past four months then I have in a lifetime. I’ve been alive seventeen years and 10 months, and yet I’ve only known myself in the last few.
Depression is daunting, so in anxiety- forcing me into a box so I don’t stand out, or talk, or give any opinions against anything. Just focusing on breathing for the last five years, and that has been hard and finally, I have a sense on who I am, what I wanna be when I get to the ‘adult’ age. If I even want a family.
Before now, I wore black, not giving the impression of anything. I didn’t have a favorite movie, food, or color. Wearing long sleeves to hide horrors from people I know and don’t know, drinking until I forget my middle name and not studying because I believed I wouldn’t live long enough to use the education anyway. I’d never talk, letting people even hear my voice was like giving them a key to make fun out of me or try to talk to me more, both terrifying. I would either pick fights with my mother or just nor leave my room for days, not even for food, school or ‘friends’. Having any sort of style was like painting a target on my back and looking people in the eye was like asking them for a form of communication, which I was scared of. Eating was dangerous, especially in front of people. Putting on pounds seemed to be another thing people could use against me, even though no one ever has. Music seemed to be my only safe escape.
Now, I can see the differences, I know myself. My favorite color is yellow, the bright sort that makes people smile. I love the 1986 Labyrinth with David Bowie and I love macaroni cheese. Every time I get off of the bus, I thank the driver and tell him to have a good evening and I wear clothes I like, like skinny jeans and dresses, and dull violet leather jackets. I keep my money in a Harry potter purse instead of my pockets and it’s a mess of notes, cards, coins and useless business cards that I’m convinced I will need one day. I want love, I want companionship and I have that in my boyfriend, although I’m not good with the whole intimacy part but I’m working on it. I draw and paint- always covered in some sort of paint. Tea has become a habit, from peppermint to jasmine to cherry and I love all of them. My mother and mine’s relationship isn’t the best, and I think she may have some mental health issues too but I’m working on that too. I shower more, put on odd socks more, sleep with the fan and fairy lights on and I always lick my food before trying it. Eating is still hard, I count calories and even 500 seems too much but I’m trying to improve. My favorite video games are The Last Of Us duo, The Walking Dead and Life Is Strange. Reading fiction is a habit I have never let go of and I look after my pet mice ( my girls, Clementine and Pumpkin) even better. And finally, I am taking the steps to become a midwife.
Sometimes it takes just a little longer to properly know yourself and I’m happy I even got this far.
Recovery is hard, but well worth it- even for the little things.
#depression#recovery#knowledge#selfconfidence#smile#life#new#anxiety#depress#depressionrecovery#anxious#newbeginnings#no shame#new beginning#medication#self help#self learning#self#self liberation#self love
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My Top 20 Fanfic Recommendations
Aka what to read to understand me/my tastes or what fanfic I’d bring to a desert island to avoid boredom.
First off this is my personal favorites and most highly recommended list, you may not like some or all of them, that’s fine.
Secondly, I’ve been wanting to make this sort of list for a while - a collection of my favorite fanfics and authors in one place which I can refer back to/up date as time goes by.
This will be mostly Naruto fanfic, since I’ve been in that fandom the longest, though I have included works from other fandoms such as; The Hobbit, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Inuyasha, MCU, American Gods, Girl Genius, Labyrinth, Van Helsing, and Batman The Dark Knight Rises.
Links to fic, and author page, included. I try to mention if I know someone is on tumblr. Let me know if I missed anybody.
Be sure to read the tags, and pay attention to the warnings before reading any of these - you are in control of what you consume in fandom. If you are feeling unsure about a fic and want to ask someone about it before reading, feel free to contact me! I try to check my messages regularly.
Please try to leave a comment/like/kudos if you enjoy the fics, the authors all deserve them. (If you can’t leave comments, that’s fine too - real life be like that sometimes. Don’t stress over it.)
20. To Trammel Some Wild Thing By Anon E. Mouse
This is completely self indulgent and a delight to read. The characterization is good and its plot is so much fun. I’m an unrepentant Dracula fan, in all his forms, and this ones damn entertaining. Incomplete - Anna/Dracula - Van Helsing
19. Nukenin By WhisperingDarkness
This fic, and the works inspired by it, are so much fun to read. Basically a 3 for 1 recommendation (be sure to check the links at the end!) A great Kakashi centric work, their characterization is excellent and the kids are great! Complete - No Pairing - Naruto
18. Fear By Almighty_Hat
I know, I know this isn’t the OT3, but bear with me, this is a really good series, looking at what ifs and giving us All the Jagers. Great slice of life Girl Genius style. Complete with an Incomplete series - Agatha/Jorji - Girl Genius
17. Klepto By DeGlace
This so much fun! A rare pair for sure, but it is so good. The chemistry between these two is amazingly portrayed. This fic is sexy, it’s vicious, it holds no bars and delivers on every promise. Also be sure to check out their fic Marrow, which just missed this list. Complete - Catwoman/Bane - Batman Darknight Rises
16. More Fair Than Snow By Jalen Strix
Oh man, this is such a good series. This author in general is very good, and has several other excellent fics, but this series is my favorite of the lot. Great balance of magic and real world, interesting use of fairy tales and a wonderful romance. Complete - Jareth/Sarah - Labyrinth
15. The Woods Are Deep, My Dear by Azzandra
Baby Agatha! World building! AGATHAS AMAZING GRANDMA! A delight to read, it is so fricking cute, and Grandma here kicks ass. The author also has some other great Au’s so check those out. Incomplete - no pairing - Girl Genius
14. RED KING By VesperChan but also on AO3
This author has so many great fics, but this is my favorite. They are also on tumblr! This fic is so gripping and atmospheric, a real feast for the mind. Can recommend the Obleisk series too. Complete - Sakura/Madara - Naruto
13. Lost and Found By NovusArs
Fem!Bilbo Baggins finds and adopts baby dwarves and the adventures thereof. The fic is cute, the characters are cute, the lore is great and this is so fluffy you guys. So fluffy. Incomplete - Bilbo/Bofur- The Hobbit
12. Lord Charming by forthright
This fic is sooo good. The drama, the lore building, the execution, all perfect. Now I know the chapter numbers look intimidating, but they are written in 100 words chapters, so don’t fear too much, you’ll get through it! Complete - Sesshoumaru/Kagome - Inuyasha
11. The House that Luck Built By TheBlackestFrost
This is so well researched, it’s use of belief and mythology is superb. I had so much fun reading this, but also I cried during some of it too. An amazing fix that convinces you of the romance with one of the parties being dead for most of it. Author on tumblr! Give! Them! A look! Complete - Laura/Sweeney - American Gods.
10. The Company of Trees By theroadkillcafe
This is my favorite Mokuton!Sakura fic ever. It’s amazing, it really captures the trials and tribulations of a young girl who’s life is changed so drastically. The supporting cast is really good too. Incomplete - No Pairing - Naruto
9. Kill Your Heroes by TheLightAtLastAndAlways aka Evil Is A Relative Term
Aaaaaaaaaa this is so good!!! The lore! The character growth! The plot twists! This is a masterpiece of writing, and I adore it. This author is never afraid to give gritty consequences, while keeping it fun and action packed. Incomplete - Itachi/Sakura sort of - Naruto
8. Retrograde Motion by Crunchysunrises
This is a fantastic example of the Time Travel trope, and tackles some really interesting lore and world building. I unreservedly love the part were we see Sakura’s seals from her family. It touched me so much I reread the whole thing 3 times in short order. Incomplete - No pairing - Naruto.
7. Amaryllis By silverfootsteps
This author is on tumblr, go check them out! And also this fantastic AU fic! I fell in love with this world, and the characters in it. A rich setting to sink your teeth into, with masterful twists and turns. Itachi is a very delicate flower and it’s great. Incomplete - Itachi/Sakura - Naruto
6. Sansûkh By determamfidd
This fic is amazing, I was able to get my mother in fanfic with this. I think it’s really well written, it feels very organic with the Tolkien world. I’m gonna get this hand bound in leather once it’s complete and gift it to myself, I want this in hard copy. Bilbo/Thorin - The Hobbit & LotR
5. Meeting Like This by FettsOnTop
And also the rest of the series. This Author is a prolific Boba/Leia writer, and all of it’s good, so give it a go and check them out! This series really defined this ship for me, and is my favorite work by the author so far. Complete - Boba Fett/Leia Organa - Star Wars
4. The Pilgrim Soul By jachap
Holy heck in a hand basket this fic is a feast. You will drown in this, the richness of this world will linger long after the final chapter ends. This is a historical fic, starting in the 1920’s and just keeps going even in the sequel. So much research has been done for this, and you can tell. Be warned you will cry. Has a sequel that’s just as good and being updated. Complete - Darcy/Steve/Bucky - MCU
3. Hermione Granger and the Serpents Renaissance by epsi10n.
This is my absolute favorite Harry Potter fic, it’s incredible. The author is very good at building tension, and then ending their chapters on cliff hangers, so you spend plenty of time on the edge of your seat reading this. Incomplete - Hermione/currently undecided. - Harry Potter
2. The Eyes Have It By Shana the Short
Written for FaNoWriMo. I adore this, and it’s incomplete sequel. It’s. So. Good. I can not recommend this enough - it’s fun, it explores interesting lore on what it would be like to develop a brand new Kekkei Genkai, and it has great character development for those who would usually go over looked. Complete - Sakura/Chojuro in the sequel. - Naruto
1. Five Kingdoms for the Dead by Evil Is A Relative Term
This is it, this right here is my favorite fanfic of all time. I LOVE this. I love the characterization, the plot, and is one favorite depiction of Madara Uchiha in fiction. Of all time. This author has already appeared on this list before, and I cannot recommend enough going out and checking out their work. Complete - Neji/Sakura - Naruto
This is not the be all, end all of good fic I’ve read, let alone all the good fic that exists, and I am very tempted to just add a list of authors I like too, but that would be a very ambitious list. Seriously, the number of stories I had to put aside because I love them but they are not quite on the list.... I have 1760 subsripctions just on AO3 alone. I couldn’t fit them all on here.
P. S. If you wish to reblog with any fic recs of your own, please do so! I’m always looking for new reading material!
#my fanfic recommendstion list#The Hobbit#Naruto#Star wars#Labyrinth#Van Helsing#Harry Potter#MCU#American Gods#Inuyasha#Girl Genius#Batman The Dark Knight Rises#Sakura Haruno#Hermione Granger#Madwife#Wintershieldshock#Anna Valerious/Dracula#Bane/Catwoman#Jareth/Sarah#Thilbo Bagginshield#Bilbo/Bofur#ItaSaku#Sesshoumaru/Kagome#Boba/Leia#Fanfic recs#i wish could add all the authors and their works to the tags but i dont have room#long post#MadaSaku
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Reading List 2019
So I thought to celebrate the fact that I actually read 100 books this year, I could list them all, give them a short raiting and quickly summarise my thoughts (as far as I remember them, my memory is terrible). So strap in, this is gonna be a looong list.
(The formating is gonna be: Title, Author, Language I read it in (D = German; E = English), rating, short thoughts)
1. The Toymakers, Robert Dinsdale, D, 3/5, Wants to be The Nightcircus but fails. Still sweet and thoughtful.
2. Deadly Sting (Elemental Assassin 8), Jennifer Estep, D, 4/5, Don’t remember specifics just that I was impressed the series was still this good.
3. The Labyrinth of Magic Volume 1, Shinobu Ohtaka, D, 1/5, Note to self: I don’t like Mangas (The Anime is fantastic though).
4. The Labyritnh of Magic Volume 2, Shinobu Ohtaka, D, 1/5, See 3.
5. The Ocean at the End of the Lane, Neil Gaiman, D, 3/5, Not my style but I can see what others like about it.
6. Norse Mythology, Neil Gaiman, D, 4/5, Very informative and entertaining.
7. The Master Magician (The Paper Magician 3), Charlie N. Holmberg, D,3/5, Adequate ending, I absolutely love the magic system.
8. The Plastic Magician (The Paper Magician 3.5), Charlie N. Holmberg, D, 4/5, Great spinoff, better story than the original with exactly enough cameos.
9. Heart of Venom (Elemental Assassin 9), Jennifer Estep, D, 3/5, see 2.
10. Inkdeath (Inkworld 3), Cornelia Funke, D, 5/5, Always a favourite, read it because I was feeling down cheered me right up.
11. The Blood of Olympus (Heroes of Olympus 5), Rick Riordan, E, 4/5, Why did I wait so long to read this?
12. Vulkanjäger, Katja Brandis, D, 3/5, Good adventurebook for younger readers.
13. Double Crossed: A Spies andd Thieves Story (Heist Society 2.5), Ally Carter, E, 3/5, Should really have read Gallagher Girls first.
14. Wizards: The Myths, Legends, and Lore, Aubrey Sherman, E, 4/5, Very interesting, smiled everytime Harry Potter or BBC’s Merlin was mentioned.
15. Vampires: The Myths, Legends, and Lore, Aubrey Sherman, E, 3/5, Not really a fan of Vampires but if you are you have to read this!
16. Nice Dragons Finish Last (Heartstrikers 1), Rachel Aaron, E, 3/5, Amazing worldbuilding!
17. The Tomb, H.P.Lovecraft, D, 2/5, I don´t even remember it.
18. All the Ever Afters: The Untold Story of Cinderella's Stepmother, Danielle Teller, E, 3/5, Great new perspective, unfortunately not enough magic.
19. Stars Above (Lunar CHronicles Short Stories), Marissa Meyer, E, 3/5, I would read anything in this universe no matter if it´s good or not.
20. To Kill a Kingdom, Alexandra Christo, E, 4/5, Really good, always love a dark fairytale retelling.
21. Her Royal Spyness (Royal Spyness 1), Rhys Bowen, E, 3/5, Expected more, it´s a bit slow.
22. Mein Reckless Märchenbuch (Mirrorworld Readalong), Cornelia Funke, D, 5/5, It`s Cornelia Funke of course it´s brilliant. Also, everyone needs a collections of fairytales at home, just for refference. I have gotten into many a discussion about the specifics of a classic story that we needed to look up.
23. Air Awakens (Air Awakens 1), Elise Kova, E, 5/5, Fantastic read, couldn´t put it down.
24. Renegades (Renegades 1), Marissa Meyer, D, 4/5, Marissa Meyer writing about Superheroes? More please!
25. Fire Falling (Air Awakens 2), Elise Kova, E, 4/5, see 23.
26.Tales from the Front (Air Awakens 2.5), Elise Kova, E, 3/5, Kind of unnecessary, didn´t really add anything.
27. Earth´s End (Air Awakens 3), Elise Kova, E, 4/5, See 23.
28. The Thousand-Dollar Tan Line (Veronica Mars 1), Rob Thomas, E, 3/5, Was good when i read it but now after season 4 it just makes me sad.
29. Mr. Kiss and Tell (Veronica Mars 2), Rob Thomas, E, 3/5, see 28.
30. China Rich Girlfriend (Crazy Rich Asians 2), Kevin Kwan, E, 4/5, A LOT of Characters but otherwise really great.
31. Rich People Problems (Crazy Rich Asians 3), Kevin Kwan, E, 3/5, see 30.
32. Witchmark (The Kingston Cycle 1), C.L.Polk, D, 5/5, Won it on lovelybooks (thanks again for that), amazing queer fantasy (often shelved as YA, it´s NOT, the protagonists are like 30 it´s not YA).
33. Water's Wrath (Air Awakens 4), Elise Kova, E, 4/5, see 23.
34. Crystal Crowned (Air Awakens 5), Elise Kova, E, 4/5, I read this and Water´s Wrath in one night, couldn´t put it down for the life of me.
35. Vicious (Villains 1), V.E.Schwab, E, 3/5, Do you know the kind of book that while you´re reading it is like meh but then you just can´t stop thinking about it?
36. A Curse So Dark and Lonely (Cursebreakers 1), Brigid Kemmerer, E, 4/5, Great retelling, love the mix of modern and fairytale worlds.
37. Ninja: First Mission, Chris Bradford, E, 1/5, Just makes me want part 9 of Young Samurai even more.
38. DOORS: Der Beginn (Doors 1), Markus Heitz, D, 2/5, Love the idea but couldn´t really convince me.
39. Heartless, Marissa Meyer, E, 4/5, Really heartless, in the sense that it rips your heart right out of your chest and then crushes it, I think I cried... a lot.
40. Truthwitch (Witchlands 1), Susan Dennard, E, 4/5, Great start to a series, didn´t manage to read the sequels this year will try again in 2020.
41. The Forever War, Joe Haldeman, D, 3/5, A classic of the genere for a reason.
42. A rumor of Dragons (Dragonlance Chronicles 1), Margaret Weis, D, 1/5, Boring.
43. A Discovery of Witches (All Souls 1), Deborah Harkness, E, 4/5, The love story is a little rushed, still loved it though.
44. A Darker Shade of Magic (Shades of Magic 1), V.E.Schwab, E, 4/5, Why didn´t I read this years ago? I mean it´s been on my shelf? And it´s so good!
45. Catching Fire (The Hunger Games 2), Suzanne Collins, D, 5/5, Couldn´t stop even at 4am.
46. Mockingjay (The Hunger Games 3), Suzanne Collins, D, 4/5, I think I read this and 45 in one night (Yes I didn´t sleep).
47. Wicked Fox (Gumiho 1), Kat Cho, E, 3/5, Was in a Fairyloot box, underused setting therefore very interesting.
48. The Glass of Lead and Gold (Mirrorworld short story), Cornelia Funke, E, 3/5, Lovely but when are we finally getting book 4?
49. The MirrorWorld Anthology (Mirrorworld Readalong), Cornelia Funke, D, 4/5, Turns out we´re getting book 4 in 2020. FINALLY!!!!
50. The Graveyard Book, Neil Gaiman, E, 2/5, Meh...
51. Mythos: The Greek Myths Retold, Stephen Fry, E, 3/5, Informativ but I prefer the ones by Riordan.
52. Shadow of Night (All Souls 2), Deborah Harkness, E, 3/5, Love the timetravel but like the first one it felt a little rushed.
53. James Acaster´s Classic Scrapes, James Acaster, E, 2/5, I really like his stand up but didn´t really enjoy this book.
54. The October Man (Rivers of London 7.5), Ben Aaronovitch, E, 3/5, It´s always funny to read foreigners writing about your culture, if you like the other rivers of London books you will like this one.
55. A Gathering of Shadows (Shades of Magyk 2), V.E.Schwab, E,4/5, As good as the first one but with Pirates!
56. Caraval (Caraval 1), Stephanie Garber, E, 3/5, It´s ok but I can´t really understand the hype.
57. Spin the Dawn (The Blood of Stars 1), Elizabeth Lim, E, 4/5, I love this one, the writing is so beautiful.
58. Angelfall (Penryn and the End of Days 1), Susan Ee, E, 3/5, The Story is ok, but I absolutely love Penryn.
59. The Sleeper and the Spindle, Neil Gaiman, E, 4/5, Great story with amazing illustrations.
60. World After (Penryn and the End of Days 2), Susan Ee, E, 3/5, see 58.
61. End of Days (Penryn and the End of Days 3), Susan Ee, E, 3/5, see 58.
62. Strange the Dreamer (Strange the Dreamer 1), Laini Taylor, E, 4/5, Lovely Story with great Characters.
63. Pan´s Labyrinth: The Labyrinth of the Faun, Cornelia Funke, D, 3/5, I read it while listening to the movie soundtrack, can reccomend.
64. Kill the Queen (Crown of Shards 1), Jennifer Estep, E, 4/5, How does she write this many books in so little Time? And how are they all so good?
65. The Return of the Warrior (Young Samurai 9), Chris Bradford, E, 4/5, Noooo its over, I could cry this series was one of my favourites as a kid.
66. Spinning Silver, Naomi Novik, E, 3/5, Good retelling that gets a little over-complicated sometimes.
67. Muse of Nightmares (Strange the Dreamer 2), Laini Taylor, E, 3/5, Wow this turned very dark very fast.
68. Skyward (Skyward 1), Brandon Sanderson, E, 5/5, Spensa and M-Bot are deffinetely some of my favourite characters ever.
69. The Priory of the Orange Tree, Samantha Shannon, E, 5/5, Very long but deffinetely worth it.
70. The Test, Sylvain Neuvel, E, 2/5, Very relevant but not really my style.
71. Archenemies (Renegades 2), Marissa Meyer, D, 5/5, Love it.
72. Shadow and Bone (The Shadow and Bone Trilogy 1), Leigh Bardugo, E, 4/5, God I just love the Setting.
73. Siege and Storm (The Shadow and Bone Trilogy 2), Leigh Bardugo, E, 4/5, I know it´s not a very popular opinion but Mal is my favourite.
74.Ruin and Rising (The Shadow and bone Trilogy 3), Leigh Bardugo, E, 3/5, Bit disapointing as an ending but a rollercoaster in terms of feelings.
75. The Wrath and the Dawn (The Wrath and the Dawn 1), Reneè Ahdieh, E, 5/5, I think this is the 3rd time I read this it´s so good.
76. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Hogwarts Library 1), Newt Scamander, E, 3/5
77. Quidditch Through the Ages (Hogwarts Library 2), Kennilworthy Whisp, E, 5/5, I love this one it´s so funny.
78. The Tales of Beedle the Bard (Hogwarts Library 3), J.K.Rowling, E, 3/5
79. Short Stories from Hogwarts of Heroism, Hardship and Dangerous Hobbies (Pottermore Presents 1), J.K.Rowling, E, 4/5, It´s about McGonagall and Lupin of course it´s good.
80. Short Stories from Hogwarts of Power, Politics and Pesky Poltergeists (Pottermore Presents 2), J.K.Rowling, E, 2/5
81. Hogwarts: An Incomplete and Unreliable Guide (Pottermore Presents 3), J.K.Rowling, E, 3/5
82. Harry Potter: A Journey Through Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts, J.K.Rowling, E, 2/5
83. The Traitor´s Kiss (The Traitor´s Circle 1), Erin Beaty, D, 2/5, A friend of mine realls loves this but I thought it was quite boring but I think that was just the translation that didn´t sit right with me it was kind of weird.
84. Mermaids: The Myths, Legends, and Lore, Skye Alexander, E, 2/5, Not as good as Vampires or Wizzards.
85. The Rose and the Dagger (The Wrath and the Dawn 2), Reneè Ahdieh, E, 3/5, Disapointing after the brilliant first one.
86. All Fall Down (Embassy Row 1), Ally Carter, E, 3/5, Didn´t really like it.
87. The Book of Life (All Souls 3), Deborah Harkness, E, 3/5, Good Ending, again very rushed.
88. Supernova (Renegades 3), Marissa Meyer, E, 4/5, God I love Simon and Hugh so much Spoilers!: I didn´t like that Ace turned out to be evil after all, I thought we would get a story with respectable leaders on both sides which is really rare. Really loved the ending when we learned more about Magpie (i really hope there will be a Sequel or Spin Off).
89. Starsight (Skyward 2), Brandon Sanderson, E, 5/5, It was amazing but I missed the original Crew.
90. A River of Royal Blood ( A River of Royal Blood 1), Amanda Joy, E, 3/5, So many unanswered questions left!!
91. + 92. The Grift of the Magi (Heist Society 3.5), Ally Carter, E, 4/5, Read it twice this year once in spring and the again before Christmas.
93. Red, White & Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston, E, 5/5, Maybe the best one this year, reads like really good FanFiction, it´s sooooooo good why aren´t you reading it right now?
94. Uncommon Criminals (Heist Society 2), Ally Carter, E, 5/5, Always fantastic
95. + 96. Perfect Scoundrels (Heist Society 3), Ally Carter, E, 5/5, So good I read it twice in a row.
97. Doctor Who: The Legends of River Song, Multiple Authors, E, 3/5,
98. Winter´s zerbrechlicher Fluch, Julia Adrian, D, 3/5, Only read if you really know your german fairytales it´s really confusing even if you know a lot about them.
99. Aurora Rising (Aurora Cycle 1), Amie Kaufman, E, 4/5, “They are not the heroes we wanted. They are just the ones we could find.”
100. Palace of Glass (Reckless Readalong), Cornelia Funke, D, 4/5, Can´t wait for Book 4!! Untill then i love everything that even mentions Jacob and Celeste.
Did you read any of these this year? Or any other year? Do you want to? What were your favourites of this year?
I hope you all had a fantastic 2019 and will have an even better 2020!
#books#book#booklover#bookworm#bookgeek#ya#yafantasy#booklr#bookaddict#bookaholic#2019#reading#reading list#science-fiction#fantasy#red#red white and royal blue#aurora rising#doctor who#Cornelia funke#amie kaufman#renegades#marissa meyer#Heist Society#Ally Carter#A River of Royal Blood#Amanda Joy#Skyward#Deborah Harkness#I reall need to go to bed
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Once Upon a Time vs. Faery Lore
This post is to discuss actual faery lore vs. Once Upon a Time faery lore and a little commentary on pop culture faery lore. I am going to explain why the actual faery lore (traditional faery lore) would have worked best for Rumplestiltskin being the Black Faery's Son.
1. What it means to be Half-Faery:
In traditional folklore being the child of a human and a faery is not like being half German or half Swedish or Half Italian, or half Chinese, ect. People have gotten too used to pop culture treating supernatural creatures like human racial backgrounds. That's why I compared it to diabetes. In folklore faeries mated with humans often and the faery aspect never really dilutes. You either are a faery or you're not. The "Half-faery" in modern fantasy fiction wasn't a thing. There were "lesser" faeries looked down upon because of their origin, not because they had only half the power or aged like a human, or other such limitations imagined by modern fantasy authors.
In faery lore a human could be turned into a faery or a faery could be born of human and faery parents or of two faery parents (though faery off spring is pretty rare, that's why the race is so limited). But the child is always totally faery (I'm speaking of the folkloric version, not modern pop culture fiction, mind you).
Disney's Gargoyles was actually pretty good about this when David Xanatos and Fox's son, Alex. Fox only seemed human because her magick was woefully under-developed, having been raised to believe herself human. But her son was trained in magick since birth by Puck so by the time he was a toddler he had mastered soul transference of all things.
Folklore about faeries is a lot stranger than our pop culture, which has watered it down to make sense with our perception of genetics but faeryism (Is that a thing?) isn't grounded in science. It's magical. In fact one origin given for Robin Goodfellow (Puck) is that he is the product of Oberon having an affair with a mortal woman and once he was old enough Oberon took him as his slave / servant. But Puck is never considered half-faery in any lore, but always a faery.
Faeries born of a human parent are sometimes considered lesser by the Seelie style of faery but that's more of a snobbery sort of thing. Unseelie (dark faeries) mate with humans all the time. Like the wizards of Harry Potter you either are or you aren't a wizard, despite your genetic background. It's not like in True Blood.
But here I am babbling about Folklore and Once Upon a Time seems convinced all faeries are female and wear frilly skirts and to "Simplify" things they don't even let Maleficent be a faery- which is practically a crime against the character.
Now there is a chance The Black Fairy used to be human and became a fairy later but with the "Simplifications" in Once upon a Time that doesn't seem likely.
I fear, however, that Once Upon a Time's logic will be along the lines of this...
Hypothetical scenario:
The black fairy had a human lover, something probably frowned upon but if the baby was born female she would be a fairy. If the baby is male he's mortal. And the fairy has to choose giving up the child and remaining a fairy or become human and stay with her baby. The Black Fairy did not want to give up being a fairy but the loss of her child drove her mad (hence the baby abductions).
2. Faery weaknesses:
If the show followed a more traditional version of faery lore and Rumplestiltskin had always been faery (or half-fairy based on pop culture reasoning) then logic would suggest a weakness to iron such as what you see in Disney's Gargoyles and the film Maleficent.
In his mortal life Rumplestiltskin's greatest injury was the smashing of his right ankle with an iron mallet. If they had followed a more traditional fairy lore this would have explained why he was never able to truly heal that ankle (Why every time he's without magick the ankle is again unable to function correctly).
In traditional faery folklore a wound created with iron could be fatal to a faery or would have to heal as a mortal might, without the aid of magick. Any body part removed with iron cannot be restored. The film Maleficent is a lot kinder about this idea.
Alas, vulnerability to iron has never come up in the show. ...Or has it?
The Dark One Dagger (which bears his true name, more on that later) is clearly steel / Iron and the early script for Skin Deep mentioned that Gaston showed up at The Dark Castle with an iron sword. Prince Charming was able to wound Rumplestiltskin’s cheek with his steel sword in Season One but Rumplestiltskin was able to heal that with magick. Perhaps because steel isn’t pure iron?
3. Names.
In traditional folklore true names have power, particularly with magical beings. According to many legends if you know a faery's true name you can summon them by calling out their name thrice, and you can banish them by a similar method. This is something Once Upon a Time actually hints at. Notice how Rumplestiltskin seems able to hear / sense it when someone is calling out to him. There's even a simple yet traditional invocation in Regina's Grimoire, to summon him.
This is why faeries are often very secretive about their names and or are given very unique and strange names that you would not commonly hear in the human world. This lore is part of where the concept for the original Rumpelstiltskin faery tale came from.
In the Dresden Files novel the wizard Harry Dresden is actually Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden and he is very careful not to give his true name to any supernatural being lest it might give them power over him.
In Once Upon a Time Rumplestitlskin's own human father speaks of the importance of names when he gives child Rumplestiltskin the straw doll that he names Peter Pan (a name Rumple's own father takes when he de-ages himself). Rumplestiltskin's father says that to name a thing is to make it real.
Rumplestiltksin himself talks about the importance of names, that he collects them (off-handedly mentioned in season one). And at one point the still-human Jiminy Cricket delivers to him a list of names, which Rumplestiltskin repays with a strand of golden thread ("For your thievery.")
When Snow White and Prince Charming are being lead to Rumplestiltskin's dungeon in the pilot episode the guard speaks to them as if they have never met Rumplestiltskin before (and the guard may simply not know any better) and he warms them not to give their names. If he has their names it will give him power over them.
Rumplestiltskin trades information to Snow White and Prince Charming for the name of their child, who will be the savior. It's when he hears Emma's name for the first time in Storybrooke that his own true memories of being Rumplestiltskin are restored. Names have power.
In Season Six, when Rumplestiltskin brings home a baby to The Dark Castle for use in luring out The Black Fairy Belle asks what the baby's name is. Rumplestiltskin had made it a point to NOT learn the child's name for fear of getting attached to the baby and tells her as much. When he summons the Black Fairy it is revealed that she never even gave him a name. This is odd because Rumplestiltskin is very much a non-human, traditionally faery name, and Malcolm (Peter Pan) did not seem to be that clever to have come up with something like Rumplestiltskin.
When Belle and Rumplestiltskin's own child, Gideon, is born at first Belle does not tell Rumplestiltskin his name for fear that Rumplestiltskin would simply use it to track down their baby (He had good reason...)
Names do have power in Once Upon a Time. So this is one aspect of the lore at least sort of kept in tact. It just seems odd that this faery mother did not name him at all and the (at the time) human father came up with a name like Rumplestiltskin.
4. Wings:
Despite what Once Upon a Time would have you think when it had Tinkerbell stripped of her wings and despite the plot of Maleficent and Tumbilina, in traditional folklore many faeries do not actually have wings and in fact can fly without them. In traditional foklore wings are NOT a requirement to be considered a faery. There are many, many types of faeries without wings.
The winged faeries only became truly popular in America as we started to associate all faeries with pixie style faeries, which Once Upon a Time is guilty of with it’s dumbed down “Simplifications.”
Even Jareth in Labyrinth is technically a faery and he flies by transforming himself into a barn owl.
And even Puck in Disney’s Gargoyles simply levitated himself. So please don’t dismiss Rumplestiltskin’s Fae status just because he does not have wings.
I have a suspicion though that the show will base faeryism on gender, rendering the show unable to ever introduce the likes of Oberon, Puck and Titania from Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream / Disney’s Gargoyles. This is a shame. Yet again i cannot help but feel that the show is unconsciously portraying misandry toward Rumplestiltskin with a Dark Crystal-esque only girls can be faeries or “Only Girls have wings.”
5. The taking of children.
Children are actually sacred to faeries in traditional folklore and faery conception is rare so often they will take a human child and transform him or her into what they are. This may have been in the ultimate goal in the original Rumpelstiltskin faery tale.
"Today I brew, tomorrow I bake,
And then the Prince child I will take.
For no one knows my little game,
That Rumpelstiltskin is my name."
In Once Upon a time however there was always some reason behind each child Rumplestiltskin went after.
In regard to the idea of Rumplestiltskin taking babies…
A. When Rumplestiltskin wanted Cora’s first born it was because his Seer powers told him that her child (Regina) would cast the Dark Curse. He even alludes to it in the tower when talking to her.
B. When Rumplestiltskin came after Cinderella’s baby it was because that is what set things into motion which lead to his capture.
The capture was necessary to 1. Find out the name of the savior child, 2. to tell Regina what was missing from the curse, and 3. to get his cushy caveats for Storybrooke. When he came after Cinderella’s baby again in Storybrooke it was to wring the deal from Emma which ultimately lead to her helping him reunite with his son in New York. He cashed in the deal to have Emma chase Neal / Baelfire because in our world he literally can’t run (Season 2 episode Manhattan).
C. Even in Season Six when he took the baby from Jack and Jill (which is technically an incestuous relationship if you pay attention to Welcome to Storybrooke…) it was to lure The Black Fairy into a trap. He did not stop Belle from returning the baby to his parents though he easily could have. In fact he was watching as she returned the child.
D. In fact in Lacey (Season 2) Belle stops him from shooting Robin Hood by telling him he’s not the sort of man to separate a child from his parents.
Technically Once Upon a Time’s Snow White and Prince Charming have taken more babies from their parents than he has.
Even in the fairy tale it’s indicated to be the first time he’s ever made such a bargain. The fairy tale literally tells you he takes pity on the Queen as soon as she starts crying. It’s not headcanon, the word pity is written right in the Grimm version, which is the darkest version, by the way. Does that sound like someone whose done that many times to you?
The Black Fairy however follows a more well known and sinister aspect of faery lore in that she does snatch away children. The same is true of Peter Pan (Once he gained eternal youth), particularly once he started to adopt the Pied Piper Persona and ironically Rumplestiltskin played the part of the lame boy from the original faery tale.
The poem The Stolen Child by William Butler Yeats specifically is about faeries taking a child. The poem was used as a coping mechanism after the death of a baby.
With Once upon a Time I suspect there may even be an origin for The Black fairy’s stealing of children, perhaps because she was forcibly separated from her own child.
6. Faery Gender:
In traditional faery lore faeries could be male or female. You notice that right away in works like Shakespeare’s a Midsummer Night’s Dream yet in Once Upon a Time every faery shown is not only Pixie style but also female. This undermines any ability to introduce the likes of Robin Goodfellow AKA Puck. I suspect there will be some casual misandry as to why Rumplestitlskin in Once Upon a Time “Doesn’t count as a faery” making those of us who love traditional faery lore twitch.
7. Aging:
Fairies, by their very nature, are immortal. Once they reach their prime they can selectively appear any age (or non-age) they choose. faeries are ageless creatures. This contradicts repeatedly statements in Once Upon a Time that “Only The Dark One is immortal” but very obviously The Blue Fairy and Black Fairy are also over three-hundred-years-old and have not aged a day.
#Rumplestiltskin#Rumpelstiltskin#Rumpel#Rumple#Once Upon a Time#OUAT#Faeries#Faerie#Fairy#Fairies#Folklore#Fairy tales#Fairytale
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I visited the world's first hair spa to try and restore my frazzled ends, here's what happened...
https://fashion-trendin.com/i-visited-the-worlds-first-hair-spa-to-try-and-restore-my-frazzled-ends-heres-what-happened/
I visited the world's first hair spa to try and restore my frazzled ends, here's what happened...
Hello, my name is Sarah and I am a blonde addict. How good or bad my day is depends on the length of my roots. I’ve been dying my hair professionally since I was 21. I’m now 42. Adding it up, this means I’ve spent over £15,000 on dye. With that money, I could have bought a Mini Cooper. Is this what is meant by being a blonde bimbo? I sacrifice money – and the health and strength of my hair – to be a golden goddess
My obsession started young. Born a natural blonde, my mother tells me I looked bald for the first two years of my life. But by age ten, the scourge of the Anglo-Saxon head – that dreaded shade of mouse – had drably started to appear. Already, I was aware how much better my translucent English complexion looked when crowned with a light feathering of sun-kissed strands. Old Christmas photos reveal a starkly Victorian looking tween, staring wanly at the camera lens like a child from a film adaptation of The Turn of the Screw. I was obsessed with the film Grease at the time and when my favorite character Frenchie screeched “Blondes do have more fun!” at the Rydell High Prom, I was in total agreement.
Aged 17 and boy crazy, a friend mentioned squirting hair with lemon juice had a naturally brightening effect. Convinced, I spent one long, hot summer attracting every insect within a two-mile radius, sporting a shellacked helmet of sticky strands. It was worth it though, for the male attention I got. Debbie Harry famously said of being blonde, “As a colour, it’s like walking around with your own spotlight.” I pegged the boys’ attention down to my hair.
At university I moved on to Sun-In, in a bid to replicate the summer’s natural golden touch all year round with the help of a hairdryer. This meant my fellow students had to put up with wafts of bleach when I walked past and sitting behind my orange-tinged mane in lectures.
At 21, earning a proper salary for the first time, I could afford to let the cap and foil highlighting begin. I went through strange shades of greenish-blonde and silver-blonde before finally resting on a pretty cornhusk yellow, the nearest to the fondly remembered shade of my youth. “Visual merchandising is the key to success,” insists Jena Pincott in her book, Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes: Bodies, Behavior, and Brains—The Science Behind Sex, Love & Attraction, describing blonde hair as “the equivalent of brilliant, shiny packaging.” Being a single girl starting a career in glossy magazines in London, a city that seemed full of unattached women and wannabe journalists, I needed all the help I could get.
Sadly now, two decades on, I feared my hair has had enough. My follicles, frail and limp, are starting to reel from the damage I’ve done over the years. Could I return to my natural shade? What was my natural shade? Or could I restore my hair while staying blonde? In a sudden realisation I understood that although I’d spent a lot of time and energy over my adult life to help my hair stay blonde, I’d never spend a minute trying to keep it healthy. I’d also tried everything available to me to keep my skin youthful and fresh, while my hair had felt little love. This had to change.
I tried the world’s first ‘smart’ hair straightener and it cut my styling time in half and gave me the glossiest hair of my life
Luckily, help was at hand a three-hour flight from London away, at the Es Saadi in Marrakech. Embracing a holistic approach, the hip health resort is transforming hair care into a luxurious reason for a day at the spa, anaylysing the reasons your hair looks dull and what you need to do about it. I booked a plane ticket to Morocco immediately. After all, as a hairdresser friend said, “Being blonde is a visual sign of youth and you’re not getting any younger, sweetheart.” The world’s first “hair spa “was offering me salvation.
Over an organic breakfast of nectarines, plums, eggs and apricot yoghurt – all from the resort’s farm – in the gardens next to the spa, I learned what was ahead for me and my hair. Beautifully aligned with Es Saadi’s SLOW food, ‘farm to fork’ ethos, PHYTO’s dedication to stunning, healthy hair comes from a unique formulation of botanical goodness mirroring a ‘plant to product’ philosophy. The PHYTO Hair Spa at Es Saadi will offer guests a heavenly scented ritual that combines shampoo, conditioning oils, intensive, restorative masque and a hydrotherapy journey to boost wellness and beauty.
This miracle towel gave me stronger, frizz-free hair and cut my styling routine in half
Through the palm trees, the air thick with mint and spice, I weaved my way to the white marble sanctuary of Es Saadi’s Mecca of beauty, where a detailed analysis of my scalp is carried out by a PHYTO technician, a determination is made and validated by a micro-viewer that magnifies the hair up to 600 times and a course of action recommended for my coarse hair. After the bespoke all-botanical PHYTO treatment – my dry, bleached hair can be helped with a concoction of sage, rosemary, juniper berries and lemon essential oils I am promised – has been applied in generous swathes snd curled into cigar shapes, my hair is snuggly wrapped in a turban. The unique part of this hair treatment comes now, when guests are taken to the Oriental Thermae hydrotherapy circuit for a journey in steam, traveling past a centuries-old eucalyptus tree into a traditional hammam Morocco is famous for.
For centuries, people have used heat as a way of purifying their skin, releasing toxins and opening the pores, but this was the first time I’d entered a sauna or steam room thinking about the benefits to my hair. Encouraged to get hot and steamy for approximately 20 minutes, I walked through the labyrinth of therapies – a traditional Finnish sauna, followed by six steam rooms with different themes: a Laconium den, an organic herbal bath, a lavender-infused musical steam room, a galactic steam bath with dazzling lights on the ceiling, a eucalyptus hideaway and a chromatherapy room filled with changing essences from Morocco. As I sweat, the treatments under my turban sink in to my scalp and worked deep into my hair. An ice bath (yes, a firm dousing of limbs with crushed ice) and freezing sensory experience shower later, I have never felt cleaner or more well nourished, from top-to-toe.
This A-list hairdresser says everyone needs a summer hair detox, here’s how to have one in 3 simple steps…
Unwrapped, my hair is washed and my scalp given one last invigorating massage, the therapist pushing on pressure points that make me want to doze off. Another conditioning treatment – this time with hints of cypress – is applied and soothed through my sorry shafts, before a blow dry that makes me so happy I could belly dance. But it’s not just the look of my hair – which had until this moment been the sole focus of my relationship with my tresses – but the feel of it. Soft and smooth, a youthful health had returned to my aged strands, the golden glow I sought dazzling now that the dryness has been treated.
I think I have another decade of blonde left in me after all!
https://www.essaadi.com/en/
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Pop Picks – May 24, 2018
May 24, 2018
What I’m listening to:
I’ve always liked Alycia Keys and admired her social activism, but I am hooked on her last album Here. This feels like an album finally commensurate with her anger, activism, hope, and grit. More R&B and Hip Hop than is typical for her, I think this album moves into an echelon inhabited by a Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On or Beyonce’s Formation. Social activism and outrage rarely make great novels, but they often fuel great popular music. Here is a terrific example.
What I’m reading:
Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad may be close to a flawless novel. Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer, it chronicles the lives of two runaway slaves, Cora and Caeser, as they try to escape the hell of plantation life in Georgia. It is an often searing novel and Cora is one of the great heroes of American literature. I would make this mandatory reading in every high school in America, especially in light of the absurd revisionist narratives of “happy and well cared for” slaves. This is a genuinely great novel, one of the best I’ve read, the magical realism and conflating of time periods lifts it to another realm of social commentary, relevance, and a blazing indictment of America’s Original Sin, for which we remain unabsolved.
What I’m watching:
I thought I knew about The Pentagon Papers, but The Post, a real-life political thriller from Steven Spielberg taught me a lot, features some of our greatest actors, and is so timely given the assault on our democratic institutions and with a presidency out of control. It is a reminder that a free and fearless press is a powerful part of our democracy, always among the first targets of despots everywhere. The story revolves around the legendary Post owner and D.C. doyenne, Katharine Graham. I had the opportunity to see her son, Don Graham, right after he saw the film, and he raved about Meryl Streep’s portrayal of his mother. Liked it a lot more than I expected.
Archive
What I’m listening to:
I mentioned John Prine in a recent post and then on the heels of that mention, he has released a new album, The Tree of Forgiveness, his first new album in ten years. Prine is beloved by other singer songwriters and often praised by the inscrutable God that is Bob Dylan. Indeed, Prine was frequently said to be the “next Bob Dylan” in the early part of his career, though he instead carved out his own respectable career and voice, if never with the dizzying success of Dylan. The new album reflects a man in his 70s, a cancer survivor, who reflects on life and its end, but with the good humor and empathy that are hallmarks of Prine’s music. “When I Get To Heaven” is a rollicking, fun vision of what comes next and a pure delight. A charming, warm, and often terrific album.
What I’m reading:
I recently read Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, on many people’s Top Ten lists for last year and for good reason. It is sprawling, multi-generational, and based in the world of Japanese occupied Korea and then in the Korean immigrant’s world of Oaska, so our key characters become “tweeners,” accepted in neither world. It’s often unspeakably sad, and yet there is resiliency and love. There is also intimacy, despite the time and geographic span of the novel. It’s breathtakingly good and like all good novels, transporting.
What I’m watching:
I adore Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 film, Pan’s Labyrinth, and while I’m not sure his Shape of Water is better, it is a worthy follow up to the earlier masterpiece (and more of a commercial success). Lots of critics dislike the film, but I’m okay with a simple retelling of a Beauty and the Beast love story, as predictable as it might be. The acting is terrific, it is visually stunning, and there are layers of pain as well as social and political commentary (the setting is the US during the Cold War) and, no real spoiler here, the real monsters are humans, the military officer who sees over the captured aquatic creature. It is hauntingly beautiful and its depiction of hatred to those who are different or “other” is painfully resonant with the time in which we live. Put this on your “must see” list.
March 18, 2018
What I’m listening to:
Sitting on a plane for hours (and many more to go; geez, Australia is far away) is a great opportunity to listen to new music and to revisit old favorites. This time, it is Lucy Dacus and her album Historians, the new sophomore release from a 22-year old indie artist that writes with relatable, real-life lyrics. Just on a second listen and while she insists this isn’t a break up record (as we know, 50% of all great songs are break up songs), it is full of loss and pain. Worth the listen so far. For the way back machine, it’s John Prine and In Spite of Ourselves (that title track is one of the great love songs of all time), a collection of duets with some of his “favorite girl singers” as he once described them. I have a crush on Iris Dement (for a really righteously angry song try her Wasteland of the Free), but there is also EmmyLou Harris, the incomparable Dolores Keane, and Lucinda Williams. Very different albums, both wonderful.
What I’m reading:
Jane Mayer’s New Yorker piece on Christopher Steele presents little that is new, but she pulls it together in a terrific and coherent whole that is illuminating and troubling at the same time. Not only for what is happening, but for the complicity of the far right in trying to discredit that which should be setting off alarm bells everywhere. Bob Mueller may be the most important defender of the democracy at this time. A must read.
What I’m watching:
Homeland is killing it this season and is prescient, hauntingly so. Russian election interference, a Bannon-style hate radio demagogue, alienated and gun toting militia types, and a president out of control. It’s fabulous, even if it feels awfully close to the evening news.
March 8, 2018
What I’m listening to:
We have a family challenge to compile our Top 100 songs. It is painful. Only 100? No more than three songs by one artist? Wait, why is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” on my list? Should it just be The Clash from whom she samples? Can I admit to guilty pleasure songs? Hey, it’s my list and I can put anything I want on it. So I’m listening to the list while I work and the song playing right now is Tom Petty’s “The Wild One, Forever,” a B-side single that was never a hit and that remains my favorite Petty song. Also, “Evangeline” by Los Lobos. It evokes a night many years ago, with friends at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA, when everyone danced well past 1AM in a hot, sweaty, packed club and the band was a revelation. Maybe the best music night of our lives and a reminder that one’s 100 Favorite Songs list is as much about what you were doing and where you were in your life when those songs were playing as it is about the music. It’s not a list. It’s a soundtrack for this journey.
What I’m reading:
Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy was in the NY Times top ten books of 2017 list and it is easy to see why. Lockwood brings remarkable and often surprising imagery, metaphor, and language to her prose memoir and it actually threw me off at first. It then all became clear when someone told me she is a poet. The book is laugh aloud funny, which masks (or makes safer anyway) some pretty dark territory. Anyone who grew up Catholic, whether lapsed or not, will resonate with her story. She can’t resist a bawdy anecdote and her family provides some of the most memorable characters possible, especially her father, her sister, and her mother, who I came to adore. Best thing I’ve read in ages.
What I’m watching:
The Florida Project, a profoundly good movie on so many levels. Start with the central character, six-year old (at the time of the filming) Brooklynn Prince, who owns – I mean really owns – the screen. This is pure acting genius and at that age? Astounding. Almost as astounding is Bria Vinaite, who plays her mother. She was discovered on Instagram and had never acted before this role, which she did with just three weeks of acting lessons. She is utterly convincing and the tension between the child’s absolute wonder and joy in the world with her mother’s struggle to provide, to be a mother, is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Willem Dafoe rightly received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role. This is a terrific movie.
February 12, 2018
What I’m listening to:
So, I have a lot of friends of age (I know you’re thinking 40s, but I just turned 60) who are frozen in whatever era of music they enjoyed in college or maybe even in their thirties. There are lots of times when I reach back into the catalog, since music is one of those really powerful and transporting senses that can take you through time (smell is the other one, though often underappreciated for that power). Hell, I just bought a turntable and now spending time in vintage vinyl shops. But I’m trying to take a lesson from Pat, who revels in new music and can as easily talk about North African rap music and the latest National album as Meet the Beatles, her first ever album. So, I’ve been listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy winning Damn. While it may not be the first thing I’ll reach for on a winter night in Maine, by the fire, I was taken with it. It’s layered, political, and weirdly sensitive and misogynist at the same time, and it feels fresh and authentic and smart at the same time, with music that often pulled me from what I was doing. In short, everything music should do. I’m not a bit cooler for listening to Damn, but when I followed it with Steely Dan, I felt like I was listening to Lawrence Welk. A good sign, I think.
What I’m reading:
I am reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Leonardo da Vinci. I’m not usually a reader of biographies, but I’ve always been taken with Leonardo. Isaacson does not disappoint (does he ever?), and his subject is at once more human and accessible and more awe-inspiring in Isaacson’s capable hands. Gay, left-handed, vegetarian, incapable of finishing things, a wonderful conversationalist, kind, and perhaps the most relentlessly curious human being who has ever lived. Like his biographies of Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, Isaacson’s project here is to show that genius lives at the intersection of science and art, of rationality and creativity. Highly recommend it.
What I’m watching:
We watched the This Is Us post-Super Bowl episode, the one where Jack finally buys the farm. I really want to hate this show. It is melodramatic and manipulative, with characters that mostly never change or grow, and it hooks me every damn time we watch it. The episode last Sunday was a tear jerker, a double whammy intended to render into a blubbering, tissue-crumbling pathetic mess anyone who has lost a parent or who is a parent. Sterling K. Brown, Ron Cephas Jones, the surprising Mandy Moore, and Milo Ventimiglia are hard not to love and last season’s episode that had only Brown and Cephas going to Memphis was the show at its best (they are by far the two best actors). Last week was the show at its best worst. In other words, I want to hate it, but I love it. If you haven’t seen it, don’t binge watch it. You’ll need therapy and insulin.
January 15, 2018
What I’m listening to:
Drive-By Truckers. Chris Stapleton has me on an unusual (for me) country theme and I discovered these guys to my great delight. They’ve been around, with some 11 albums, but the newest one is fascinating. It’s a deep dive into Southern alienation and the white working-class world often associated with our current president. I admire the willingness to lay bare, in kick ass rock songs, the complexities and pain at work among people we too quickly place into overly simple categories. These guys are brave, bold, and thoughtful as hell, while producing songs I didn’t expect to like, but that I keep playing. And they are coming to NH.
What I’m reading:
A textual analog to Drive-By Truckers by Chris Stapleton in many ways is Tony Horowitz’s 1998 Pulitzer Prize winning Confederates in the Attic. Ostensibly about the Civil War and the South’s ongoing attachment to it, it is prescient and speaks eloquently to the times in which we live (where every southern state but Virginia voted for President Trump). Often hilarious, it too surfaces complexities and nuance that escape a more recent, and widely acclaimed, book like Hillbilly Elegy. As a Civil War fan, it was also astonishing in many instances, especially when it blows apart long-held “truths” about the war, such as the degree to which Sherman burned down the south (he did not). Like D-B Truckers, Horowitz loves the South and the people he encounters, even as he grapples with its myths of victimhood and exceptionalism (and racism, which may be no more than the racism in the north, but of a different kind). Everyone should read this book and I’m embarrassed I’m so late to it.
What I’m watching:
David Letterman has a new Netflix show called “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” and we watched the first episode, in which Letterman interviewed Barack Obama. It was extraordinary (if you don’t have Netflix, get it just to watch this show); not only because we were reminded of Obama’s smarts, grace, and humanity (and humor), but because we saw a side of Letterman we didn’t know existed. His personal reflections on Selma were raw and powerful, almost painful. He will do five more episodes with “extraordinary individuals” and if they are anything like the first, this might be the very best work of his career and one of the best things on television.
December 22, 2017
What I’m reading:
Just finished Sunjeev Sahota’s Year of the Runaways, a painful inside look at the plight of illegal Indian immigrant workers in Britain. It was shortlisted for 2015 Man Booker Prize and its transporting, often to a dark and painful universe, and it is impossible not to think about the American version of this story and the terrible way we treat the undocumented in our own country, especially now.
What I’m watching:
Season II of The Crown is even better than Season I. Elizabeth’s character is becoming more three-dimensional, the modern world is catching up with tradition-bound Britain, and Cold War politics offer more context and tension than we saw in Season I. Claire Foy, in her last season, is just terrific – one arched eye brow can send a message.
What I’m listening to:
A lot of Christmas music, but needing a break from the schmaltz, I’ve discovered Over the Rhine and their Christmas album, Snow Angels. God, these guys are good.
November 14, 2017
What I’m watching:
Guiltily, I watch the Patriots play every weekend, often building my schedule and plans around seeing the game. Why the guilt? I don’t know how morally defensible is football anymore, as we now know the severe damage it does to the players. We can’t pretend it’s all okay anymore. Is this our version of late decadent Rome, watching mostly young Black men take a terrible toll on each other for our mere entertainment?
What I’m reading:
Recently finished J.G. Ballard’s 2000 novel Super-Cannes, a powerful depiction of a corporate-tech ex-pat community taken over by a kind of psychopathology, in which all social norms and responsibilities are surrendered to residents of the new world community. Kept thinking about Silicon Valley when reading it. Pretty dark, dystopian view of the modern world and centered around a mass killing, troublingly prescient.
What I’m listening to:
Was never really a Lorde fan, only knowing her catchy (and smarter than you might first guess) pop hit “Royals” from her debut album. But her new album, Melodrama, is terrific and it doesn’t feel quite right to call this “pop.” There is something way more substantial going on with Lorde and I can see why many critics put this album at the top of their Best in 2017 list. Count me in as a huge fan.
November 3, 2017
What I’m reading:
Just finished Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere, her breathtakingly good second novel. How is someone so young so wise? Her writing is near perfection and I read the book in two days, setting my alarm for 4:30AM so I could finish it before work.
What I’m watching:
We just binge watched season two of Stranger Things and it was worth it just to watch Millie Bobbie Brown, the transcendent young actor who plays Eleven. The series is a delightful mash up of every great eighties horror genre you can imagine and while pretty dark, an absolute joy to watch.
What I’m listening to:
I’m not a lover of country music (to say the least), but I love Chris Stapleton. His “The Last Thing I Needed, First Thing This Morning” is heartbreakingly good and reminds me of the old school country that played in my house as a kid. He has a new album and I can’t wait, but his From A Room: Volume 1 is on repeat for now.
September 26, 2017
What I’m reading:
Just finished George Saunder’s Lincoln in the Bardo. It took me a while to accept its cadence and sheer weirdness, but loved it in the end. A painful meditation on loss and grief, and a genuinely beautiful exploration of the intersection of life and death, the difficulty of letting go of what was, good and bad, and what never came to be.
What I’m watching:
HBO’s The Deuce. Times Square and the beginning of the porn industry in the 1970s, the setting made me wonder if this was really something I’d want to see. But David Simon is the writer and I’d read a menu if he wrote it. It does not disappoint so far and there is nothing prurient about it.
What I’m listening to:
The National’s new album Sleep Well Beast. I love this band. The opening piano notes of the first song, “Nobody Else Will Be There,” seize me & I’m reminded that no one else in music today matches their arrangement & musicianship. I’m adding “Born to Beg,” “Slow Show,” “I Need My Girl,” and “Runaway” to my list of favorite love songs.
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Pop Picks – April 27, 2018
April 27, 2018
What I’m listening to:
I mentioned John Prine in a recent post and then on the heels of that mention, he has released a new album, The Tree of Forgiveness, his first new album in ten years. Prine is beloved by other singer songwriters and often praised by the inscrutable God that is Bob Dylan. Indeed, Prine was frequently said to be the “next Bob Dylan” in the early part of his career, though he instead carved out his own respectable career and voice, if never with the dizzying success of Dylan. The new album reflects a man in his 70s, a cancer survivor, who reflects on life and its end, but with the good humor and empathy that are hallmarks of Prine’s music. “When I Get To Heaven” is a rollicking, fun vision of what comes next and a pure delight. A charming, warm, and often terrific album.
What I’m reading:
I recently read Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, on many people’s Top Ten lists for last year and for good reason. It is sprawling, multi-generational, and based in the world of Japanese occupied Korea and then in the Korean immigrant’s world of Oaska, so our key characters become “tweeners,” accepted in neither world. It’s often unspeakably sad, and yet there is resiliency and love. There is also intimacy, despite the time and geographic span of the novel. It’s breathtakingly good and like all good novels, transporting.
What I’m watching:
I adore Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 film, Pan’s Labyrinth, and while I’m not sure his Shape of Water is better, it is a worthy follow up to the earlier masterpiece (and more of a commercial success). Lots of critics dislike the film, but I’m okay with a simple retelling of a Beauty and the Beast love story, as predictable as it might be. The acting is terrific, it is visually stunning, and there are layers of pain as well as social and political commentary (the setting is the US during the Cold War) and, no real spoiler here, the real monsters are humans, the military officer who sees over the captured aquatic creature. It is hauntingly beautiful and its depiction of hatred to those who are different or “other” is painfully resonant with the time in which we live. Put this on your “must see” list.
Archive
March 18, 2018
What I’m listening to:
Sitting on a plane for hours (and many more to go; geez, Australia is far away) is a great opportunity to listen to new music and to revisit old favorites. This time, it is Lucy Dacus and her album Historians, the new sophomore release from a 22-year old indie artist that writes with relatable, real-life lyrics. Just on a second listen and while she insists this isn’t a break up record (as we know, 50% of all great songs are break up songs), it is full of loss and pain. Worth the listen so far. For the way back machine, it’s John Prine and In Spite of Ourselves (that title track is one of the great love songs of all time), a collection of duets with some of his “favorite girl singers” as he once described them. I have a crush on Iris Dement (for a really righteously angry song try her Wasteland of the Free), but there is also EmmyLou Harris, the incomparable Dolores Keane, and Lucinda Williams. Very different albums, both wonderful.
What I’m reading:
Jane Mayer’s New Yorker piece on Christopher Steele presents little that is new, but she pulls it together in a terrific and coherent whole that is illuminating and troubling at the same time. Not only for what is happening, but for the complicity of the far right in trying to discredit that which should be setting off alarm bells everywhere. Bob Mueller may be the most important defender of the democracy at this time. A must read.
What I’m watching:
Homeland is killing it this season and is prescient, hauntingly so. Russian election interference, a Bannon-style hate radio demagogue, alienated and gun toting militia types, and a president out of control. It’s fabulous, even if it feels awfully close to the evening news.
March 8, 2018
What I’m listening to:
We have a family challenge to compile our Top 100 songs. It is painful. Only 100? No more than three songs by one artist? Wait, why is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” on my list? Should it just be The Clash from whom she samples? Can I admit to guilty pleasure songs? Hey, it’s my list and I can put anything I want on it. So I’m listening to the list while I work and the song playing right now is Tom Petty’s “The Wild One, Forever,” a B-side single that was never a hit and that remains my favorite Petty song. Also, “Evangeline” by Los Lobos. It evokes a night many years ago, with friends at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA, when everyone danced well past 1AM in a hot, sweaty, packed club and the band was a revelation. Maybe the best music night of our lives and a reminder that one’s 100 Favorite Songs list is as much about what you were doing and where you were in your life when those songs were playing as it is about the music. It’s not a list. It’s a soundtrack for this journey.
What I’m reading:
Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy was in the NY Times top ten books of 2017 list and it is easy to see why. Lockwood brings remarkable and often surprising imagery, metaphor, and language to her prose memoir and it actually threw me off at first. It then all became clear when someone told me she is a poet. The book is laugh aloud funny, which masks (or makes safer anyway) some pretty dark territory. Anyone who grew up Catholic, whether lapsed or not, will resonate with her story. She can’t resist a bawdy anecdote and her family provides some of the most memorable characters possible, especially her father, her sister, and her mother, who I came to adore. Best thing I’ve read in ages.
What I’m watching:
The Florida Project, a profoundly good movie on so many levels. Start with the central character, six-year old (at the time of the filming) Brooklynn Prince, who owns – I mean really owns – the screen. This is pure acting genius and at that age? Astounding. Almost as astounding is Bria Vinaite, who plays her mother. She was discovered on Instagram and had never acted before this role, which she did with just three weeks of acting lessons. She is utterly convincing and the tension between the child’s absolute wonder and joy in the world with her mother’s struggle to provide, to be a mother, is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Willem Dafoe rightly received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role. This is a terrific movie.
February 12, 2018
What I’m listening to:
So, I have a lot of friends of age (I know you’re thinking 40s, but I just turned 60) who are frozen in whatever era of music they enjoyed in college or maybe even in their thirties. There are lots of times when I reach back into the catalog, since music is one of those really powerful and transporting senses that can take you through time (smell is the other one, though often underappreciated for that power). Hell, I just bought a turntable and now spending time in vintage vinyl shops. But I’m trying to take a lesson from Pat, who revels in new music and can as easily talk about North African rap music and the latest National album as Meet the Beatles, her first ever album. So, I’ve been listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy winning Damn. While it may not be the first thing I’ll reach for on a winter night in Maine, by the fire, I was taken with it. It’s layered, political, and weirdly sensitive and misogynist at the same time, and it feels fresh and authentic and smart at the same time, with music that often pulled me from what I was doing. In short, everything music should do. I’m not a bit cooler for listening to Damn, but when I followed it with Steely Dan, I felt like I was listening to Lawrence Welk. A good sign, I think.
What I’m reading:
I am reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Leonardo da Vinci. I’m not usually a reader of biographies, but I’ve always been taken with Leonardo. Isaacson does not disappoint (does he ever?), and his subject is at once more human and accessible and more awe-inspiring in Isaacson’s capable hands. Gay, left-handed, vegetarian, incapable of finishing things, a wonderful conversationalist, kind, and perhaps the most relentlessly curious human being who has ever lived. Like his biographies of Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, Isaacson’s project here is to show that genius lives at the intersection of science and art, of rationality and creativity. Highly recommend it.
What I’m watching:
We watched the This Is Us post-Super Bowl episode, the one where Jack finally buys the farm. I really want to hate this show. It is melodramatic and manipulative, with characters that mostly never change or grow, and it hooks me every damn time we watch it. The episode last Sunday was a tear jerker, a double whammy intended to render into a blubbering, tissue-crumbling pathetic mess anyone who has lost a parent or who is a parent. Sterling K. Brown, Ron Cephas Jones, the surprising Mandy Moore, and Milo Ventimiglia are hard not to love and last season’s episode that had only Brown and Cephas going to Memphis was the show at its best (they are by far the two best actors). Last week was the show at its best worst. In other words, I want to hate it, but I love it. If you haven’t seen it, don’t binge watch it. You’ll need therapy and insulin.
January 15, 2018
What I’m listening to:
Drive-By Truckers. Chris Stapleton has me on an unusual (for me) country theme and I discovered these guys to my great delight. They’ve been around, with some 11 albums, but the newest one is fascinating. It’s a deep dive into Southern alienation and the white working-class world often associated with our current president. I admire the willingness to lay bare, in kick ass rock songs, the complexities and pain at work among people we too quickly place into overly simple categories. These guys are brave, bold, and thoughtful as hell, while producing songs I didn’t expect to like, but that I keep playing. And they are coming to NH.
What I’m reading:
A textual analog to Drive-By Truckers by Chris Stapleton in many ways is Tony Horowitz’s 1998 Pulitzer Prize winning Confederates in the Attic. Ostensibly about the Civil War and the South’s ongoing attachment to it, it is prescient and speaks eloquently to the times in which we live (where every southern state but Virginia voted for President Trump). Often hilarious, it too surfaces complexities and nuance that escape a more recent, and widely acclaimed, book like Hillbilly Elegy. As a Civil War fan, it was also astonishing in many instances, especially when it blows apart long-held “truths” about the war, such as the degree to which Sherman burned down the south (he did not). Like D-B Truckers, Horowitz loves the South and the people he encounters, even as he grapples with its myths of victimhood and exceptionalism (and racism, which may be no more than the racism in the north, but of a different kind). Everyone should read this book and I’m embarrassed I’m so late to it.
What I’m watching:
David Letterman has a new Netflix show called “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” and we watched the first episode, in which Letterman interviewed Barack Obama. It was extraordinary (if you don’t have Netflix, get it just to watch this show); not only because we were reminded of Obama’s smarts, grace, and humanity (and humor), but because we saw a side of Letterman we didn’t know existed. His personal reflections on Selma were raw and powerful, almost painful. He will do five more episodes with “extraordinary individuals” and if they are anything like the first, this might be the very best work of his career and one of the best things on television.
December 22, 2017
What I’m reading:
Just finished Sunjeev Sahota’s Year of the Runaways, a painful inside look at the plight of illegal Indian immigrant workers in Britain. It was shortlisted for 2015 Man Booker Prize and its transporting, often to a dark and painful universe, and it is impossible not to think about the American version of this story and the terrible way we treat the undocumented in our own country, especially now.
What I’m watching:
Season II of The Crown is even better than Season I. Elizabeth’s character is becoming more three-dimensional, the modern world is catching up with tradition-bound Britain, and Cold War politics offer more context and tension than we saw in Season I. Claire Foy, in her last season, is just terrific – one arched eye brow can send a message.
What I’m listening to:
A lot of Christmas music, but needing a break from the schmaltz, I’ve discovered Over the Rhine and their Christmas album, Snow Angels. God, these guys are good.
November 14, 2017
What I’m watching:
Guiltily, I watch the Patriots play every weekend, often building my schedule and plans around seeing the game. Why the guilt? I don’t know how morally defensible is football anymore, as we now know the severe damage it does to the players. We can’t pretend it’s all okay anymore. Is this our version of late decadent Rome, watching mostly young Black men take a terrible toll on each other for our mere entertainment?
What I’m reading:
Recently finished J.G. Ballard’s 2000 novel Super-Cannes, a powerful depiction of a corporate-tech ex-pat community taken over by a kind of psychopathology, in which all social norms and responsibilities are surrendered to residents of the new world community. Kept thinking about Silicon Valley when reading it. Pretty dark, dystopian view of the modern world and centered around a mass killing, troublingly prescient.
What I’m listening to:
Was never really a Lorde fan, only knowing her catchy (and smarter than you might first guess) pop hit “Royals” from her debut album. But her new album, Melodrama, is terrific and it doesn’t feel quite right to call this “pop.” There is something way more substantial going on with Lorde and I can see why many critics put this album at the top of their Best in 2017 list. Count me in as a huge fan.
November 3, 2017
What I’m reading:
Just finished Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere, her breathtakingly good second novel. How is someone so young so wise? Her writing is near perfection and I read the book in two days, setting my alarm for 4:30AM so I could finish it before work.
What I’m watching:
We just binge watched season two of Stranger Things and it was worth it just to watch Millie Bobbie Brown, the transcendent young actor who plays Eleven. The series is a delightful mash up of every great eighties horror genre you can imagine and while pretty dark, an absolute joy to watch.
What I’m listening to:
I’m not a lover of country music (to say the least), but I love Chris Stapleton. His “The Last Thing I Needed, First Thing This Morning” is heartbreakingly good and reminds me of the old school country that played in my house as a kid. He has a new album and I can’t wait, but his From A Room: Volume 1 is on repeat for now.
September 26, 2017
What I’m reading:
Just finished George Saunder’s Lincoln in the Bardo. It took me a while to accept its cadence and sheer weirdness, but loved it in the end. A painful meditation on loss and grief, and a genuinely beautiful exploration of the intersection of life and death, the difficulty of letting go of what was, good and bad, and what never came to be.
What I’m watching:
HBO’s The Deuce. Times Square and the beginning of the porn industry in the 1970s, the setting made me wonder if this was really something I’d want to see. But David Simon is the writer and I’d read a menu if he wrote it. It does not disappoint so far and there is nothing prurient about it.
What I’m listening to:
The National’s new album Sleep Well Beast. I love this band. The opening piano notes of the first song, “Nobody Else Will Be There,” seize me & I’m reminded that no one else in music today matches their arrangement & musicianship. I’m adding “Born to Beg,” “Slow Show,” “I Need My Girl,” and “Runaway” to my list of favorite love songs.
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