#not that i haven't been rewatching the entire show over and over again all weekend | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i--antimony · 2 months

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midday tuesday

sort of getting a handle on the volume of work i have to do. ough. writing this tuesdaypost while i wait for the initial step of a simulation to finish running so i can see if what i'm doing is correct.

listening: listening to haken's fauna album again because i'm seeing them live soon (!!)

next listening (against my better judgement because you can probably figure out where i live based on it): local bar had some bands this past weekend, i missed the first group (dopplepopolis) unfortunately because i am chronically late to things that don't have consequences but allegedly they did a holst mars cover ?? which sounds fascinating and i'm so mad i missed it. the second group was alright (the lunar diamonds), pretty good stage presence and they clearly had a lot of fun but their original songs were a little forgettable to me, their cover of psycho killer WAS a banger. i'm very sad they don't have that put up on spotify. but the third group (please her). oohhhh baby. i fell a little bit in love with the lead singer, not gonna lie! i went and listened to their spotify and while some of it really doesn't hit the same as the live performance it's still very fun. she had a spray bottle full of water and was periodically spritzing the audience. at the very end she was like "welcome to church, you may be seated" and had us all sit/crouch on the floor to listen to her announcements about the band over a groovy backing track. their bassist is INSANELY good too. mans be slappin that thang. they listed their genre as "scorpion core" which i still do not understand but god bless 'em.

anyways. they have one album out right now (bandcamp / spotify) and it's worth giving a listen. favorite track: 12 @ the Party, followed closely by Fellas!. i will probably buy it next bandcamp friday.

the lunar diamonds only have one track up on spotify but it is one of their originals that i found toe-tappy: Treads

i'll have to give the band i missed a chance but it will likely not hit the same as if it were live. c'est la vie

finally, haven't finished the release radar for this week yet, but i do really love ethan bortnick. the way he meshes classical-inspired piano with the alt beats is just so fun. hide n seek

reading: next mdzs book came in from the library! truly nothing like the rush of getting the notification "your book is ready to take out" before the estimated date :3 so i'm a little ways into volume 2 now, we're in yi city, xue yang is soooo much more obviously desperate to get xiao xingchen fixed in the book than in the show. loser (affectionate)

watching: next verse same as the first. dungeonmeshi and kill la kill with boyf. the kelpie animations were really fun and also the kraken !! good shit. there are other posts that have explained this better but i love the way trigger is animating the backgrounds. as for klk, we're on ep15 now! i have forgotten sooo much of this show, nui harime showed up and i was like oh SHIT i forgot about her !! entirely!!! so it's been a really fun rewatch.

playing: ran dnd saturday and played dnd on monday! saturday dnd defeated the mdzs dancing fairy :b at some point i will probably design something that involves finding a haunted arm pointing in a direction to reuinite its body a la nie mingjue but we've got some very strong anti-undead characters in this party so that may not go over very well. monday dnd involved getting hunted by a spooky fey hyena and getting robbed by a goblin group. something something goblin microaggressions. still fun even though i was VERY sleepy by the end of it.

making: pottery that i FORGOT TO PHOTOGRAPH ... i was like "i'll take pics at open studio saturday" and then the kiln was running so, on one hand, yayyyy kiln! on the other, no pics for this tuesdaypost. so. more pics next week. i did make some hopefully-teacups for my bf, depending on how severe the shrinkage is, but these are the smallest items i've been able to make (0.5lb clay) and it's sooo much harder than i thought it would be. pics with ruler for shrinkage measuring purposes

you might catch in the first photo that the top cup has noticeably thicker walls than the others ... don't worry about it ......

eating: coconut fish and tomato bake thing that i added too much lime to by accident but still tasty... sheet pan tofu and brussel sprouts!!!! so this is an elite one, adding to the arsenal. literally just halve the sprouts and cube the tofu, drizzle w olive oil and salt and peppy, roast at 450 til its. done. whenever. while that's roasting make rice. the sauce is 1:1 ratio of tahini to hoisin sauce with minced garlic to taste. it is To Die For and SO easy. last night roommate made turkey meatballs with couscous and even though the couscous burned just a little bit it was still yummy!

misc: turns out ... if your body wants ~9 hours of sleep a night but you make it live off of 7 for weeks on end ....... eventually you will get sick LOL. probably partly alcohol ibs stuff but still. sunday was a total wash for me and i went to bed at 10pm and felt normal monday morning. so. i need to just be going to bed earlier (pain). work this week not as terrible at least. i am doing my shit that i need to be doing and it's going okay! which is good because i'm calling it an early week kinda for that concert hehe. oh valentines day! boyf got me a little leatherman multitool keychain and it's so cute and i love it, and i got him a bird scope phone holder so he can take bird photos easier!!!

#tuesdayposting #Spotify

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julies-butterflies · 3 years

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Honestly, your writing reminds me a lot of the buffyverse. Just the perfect balance of humor and sadness and romance and heart that just feels like a vivid window into the world you've created.

God the Body...the best forty minutes of television I may never watch again. I've rewatched Willow and Tara's kiss (because I'll adore them forever), but just...the weight of it. It took me a full month to work up the nerve to watch the episode, to be ready to cry that much.

What you said about not wanting people to suffer, because of your work...It's never once felt like that for me. And I've cried a LOT while reading your work. I'll try to explain it the best I can

Grief can be so isolating, and disorienting. Your world goes topsey-turvey, supports you took for granted go flying into the abyss and suddenly it's a minefield of those glass shards. And no one's grief is identical. No two circumstances are the same. It's not possible for anyone else to know exactly how you feel, because no two hearts break alike.

Sometimes, it's because people just don't understand. Sometime's it's because they no longer want to. But some days, that feeling of aloneness can be crushing.

Then one night, I stumbled upon Let These Shadows Fall Away Like Dust. That one hit me way harder than I was ever expecting. The question of how to grieve the living, the dilemma on when forgiveness is deserved...Alex's anger, his devestation, the rawness of it all....That's my broken glass. Those are concepts I've been struggling for over a year. I'm still picking up pieces every day.

I sobbed, because it was such a relief. To see the feelings that had been scrambled up in my mind just reflected there, on my screen. The reminder I had desperately needed, that I was not alone. That even though my circumstances were different, I was not the only one trying to unravel those messy emotions.

Then again, I also read your deathfic for fun, so maybe I'm not the best judge of this. I tend to like angst. I tend to get a lot of "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT THAT SAD" in group chats :D

Please don't feel any pressure to respond to me quickly or anything. I never mind the wait. I'm so sorry for the rough times. Wishing that you and your family gets whatever you need to help ease your storm. Sending love and support as well.

(sorry for all the metaphors. I'm super sleepy and apparently, I resort to purple prose when tired lol)

I know exactly what you mean about Emily. I understand why people don't like her, but I just love to see her written as such a grey character. It's just so much more powerful when the love is so clearly there.

I mean, that's what a tragedy is, really. Love cut short. Grieving a future that could have been everything, if fate had not been cruel. I don't know if you know musical theater, but I like to think about the Barber and His Wife, from Sweeney Todd: the whole tragedy of that show, is that they were happy all together, and then permanently broken. How their paths keep crossing, but they never connect to heal. Never lost, but never found.

And that's the tragedy of Luke and Emily: too stubborn and too late. You find that grey area, the messiness so well, and just bring it all out so wonderfully. You do the same with Bobby/Trevor, ESPECIALLY in the horror and the wild. God, that absolutely devestated me. I'm not a big fan of horror in general, and I haven't explored the genre that much but...if all horror is like yours then DAMN, I might just have to become a fan.

This got super long (lol) so I'll wrap it up now but! THE SIC FIC QUEENS TOGETHER???? When I tell you I lost it.... all too well Bobby and what you've lost reggie in the same story are killing me. I am hooked and incredibly hyped. Loved both updates so far, and cannot wait to see where the story goes!

Oh yeah and I forget: I have to ask, do you have a fan cast of the one, the only, the incredible Keith Richards? (and that goblin is so cute!!! I really want to pet the blood thirsty monster. So badly)

Love, your totally-not-undead-pen-pal, :D

-Vampire Anon

Know musicals? Vampire Anon my beloved, I am a musical theatre bitch. Take a look at my high school graduation cap! (Anastasia is my favorite musical... something about the themes of home, love, and family, the idea of always finding a place in the world even after enduring incredible hardship, that anything is survivable with faith and love in your heart... I'm also a Romanov history bitch, and Christy Altomare is such an incredible talent and human being.) Literally, talk to me about musicals anytime!

And yeah, I definitely see your metaphor... the tragedy of The Barber and his Wife was how close they came to each other throughout the whole show, existing within reach the entire time, after being separated for so long. But it wasn't the same; it never could be. Time and trauma had changed them both into something unrecognizeable, and when they came face-to-face, they could only hurt each other. At a certain point, the ghosts of your past are meant to stay ghosts. Sure, you might want them back more than anything --- but what would it mean? What would you truly be getting back?

Luke's "back", of course, and he comes home to visit his parents multiple times... but they're not the same people he left. They're older, greyer, changed by grief... while he's just the same. A snapshot forever frozen in time, a memory crystalized in amber. You can't hold memories in your hands. You can't pull them close and refuse to let them go. Eventually, they'll slip away... and to Mitch and Emily, a memory is all their son is, now. That's what's so heartrending about the situation we see in the show, especially --- so much love still exists between all of them, but it has no place to go.

Okay, sorry, it's 3am here and I'm rambling too, haha --- mentioning musical theatre was a mistake.

I'm so glad my stories have been able to connect with you, especially 'shadows' --- that one resonated with a lot of people, more than I ever realized it would. It's not the most personal story to me... but definitely one that needed to be told, and the emotion in it... hits home for a lot of people. It means so much to me knowing that story, and Alex's internal struggle, has made people feel less alone.

I think I'm going to have a hard time looking back on that one, though. We were staying at my aunt's house for the weekend where I wrote most of it; I read a few excerpts to her, and she said she liked it. She was always interested in my writing... I kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to share more of it with her.

Like you said. Grief's a funny thing. Disorienting, relentless, and crushing.

Please just remember, though --- whatever you're dealing with, you're not alone. You don't have to cut yourself on those broken pieces... one day, you'll wake up, and realize you feel whole again. It will never feel the same, and the pain will always be there... but healing around it is what makes us stronger. You don't owe anyone your forgiveness; it's okay to grieve when you've lost something, regardless of whether death has taken them from you. Grief doesn't have to be earned, it simply has to be felt.

You'll be stronger for it, in the end. I'm sorry you've been hurting so much.

Anyways! Oh gosh! On to lighter, happier topics! Please tell me...

What are your favorite fics? (Like, my fics, obviously, which fics of mine do you just go gaga over? Please praise me or else my ego will shrivel like a worm on hot pavement.) No, okay, I'm kidding --- what are your top fics for this fandom? Like, what are the ones that really resonate with you, that you could read over and over? The JATP fandom has so many greats, but I'm always drawn back to Some Killer Queen You Are by pearlcaddy (buffyverse meets jatp!! iconic!!), Lantern's Light by thefairhero (literally the SOFTEST reggie), the sky's not empty tonight by firefall (just... devastating and beautiful in a dozen ways), and literally anything by foundfamilyvevo.

How long have you been in the JATP fandom? Who are your favorite characters? What's your favorite JATP song?

And finally, most importantly... what are your favorite musicals?

(also... since u asked... behold keith richards and tremble)

#vampire anon my beloved #also... vampire anon... you're a writer #i can tell!! i can read it in your words #youre so eloquent and put things so beautifully #do you write fic?? have you posted any for jatp??

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emma-swan · 7 years

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Hey there! Sorry I haven't messaged for days now. Been a bit overwhelmed with things. I was looking back over your reply to my last message and had to go back to see what big things you were talking about. Coming out to your mom must have been really intense, but it seems like it went okay?? And I totally feel ya on Captain Swan in Season 3! I was just doing a rewatch of 3A and got to the kiss in Good Form and giggled like an idiot over it yet again. Killian always looks so damn wrecked (1/2).

(2/2) after that kiss and I love it! Love all things Killian Jones related, honestly. He's the best (even when he's being the worst, sometimes). I hope you had a good weekend (I know I loved seeing the stuff of Colin and Bex at the UBC hockey game! LoL), and I promise to be a better valentine in the coming weeks. Speaking of valentines, any idea on what you'd like your gift to be?? See if we can come up with something you'll really love and appreciate?? ~Your CSSV

Ah, fear not, dear valentine! I’ve been here and there now that I’ve been back at work so it’s okay!

It was intense, yeah, but things are okay now! Not as tense as they were between the two of us, so that’s always a good thing.

Oh! A rewatch, I haven’t done one since before this summer, I think. I’ll definitely have to do it again, probably picking up in S2 and carrying on from there. Or maybe I’ll just pick up in S3 because that entire season is always a party. I mean, you think he looks wrecked? I AM WRECKED. I am always wrecked when it comes to that man.

I will always get excited when you show up, dear valentine, so do not fret about your absence in the past!

Anything that you put your thought and effort into will definitely be something I’ll love and appreciate! I don’t want to hinder your creativity, truly, so if you have any general ideas, be it a fic, a work of art, a gifset, you name it, I’m down for it! Let me know!

#cssv #cssv 17 #cs valentines #anon #d answers things

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