i’m obsessed with these shakespeare editions

Tenipuri Party: Fuji Shuusuke profile translation

TN:

In the absence of an official English version, this translation is intended to help those who can’t read the material in the original language. Please support Tenipuri by getting your own copy of this book - it is worth it! There are various ways of purchasing it even for those not living in or visiting Japan.

The pictures I have included in this post do not show full pages.

On the translation: I’m aiming for a more direct, “Japanese-sounding” translation to share the mood of the content more as it is. This will probably cause some sentences to appear weird in English.

On Fuji’s style of speech: he uses a lot of little additions that soften the tone, and most of them are pretty hard to include in English. In general his style of speech is a balance of casual but polite.

I’m still working on Japanese, so there might be mistakes. Please let me know if you spot any translation errors so I can fix them here!

Fuji Shuusuke

U-17 Japan representative player, middle schooler Seishun Gakuen Middle-school player

Towards the distant sky, reflected in the mind’s eye --  A noble youth, soaring like a refreshing breeze

Message

“This kind of wonderful placement… it’s rare to get to taste it. Everyone, thank you so much. I’ll have to meet those expectations. (*1) Following the guidepost that I have made myself… I swear I’ll advance to greater heights. I’ll definitely show a new scenery to you too.”

Extra prize: a surprise box decorated with memorable photos “There are even balloons attached to it. An exciting, heart-warming gift. The music box’s tune was to my liking, too.”

Profile

[DATA] Middle-school 3rd year / February 29 (Pisces) / Blood type B / 167 cm / 53 kg / Right-handed

Special techniques: Tsubame gaeshi, Higuma otoshi, Hakugei, Kagerou tsutsumi, Houou gaeshi, Kirin otoshi, Hakuryuu, Hecatoncheires no monban, Hoshi hanabi, Closed eye (*2),  Aoi fubuki, Hikari kaze 

Play style: Counter puncher

Family: Father, mother, older sister, younger brother

Father’s occupation: company employee (foreign company)

Hobbies: Collecting cacti, photography

Favourite saying: What is important is invisible to the eye 

Favourite color: Beige

Favourite foods: All spicy foods, 100% apple juice

Favourite book: Travel journals, travel photo books

Favourite music: Celtic music

Preferred type of person: A person who smells like flowers

Preferred date spot: An observatory where you can see stars clearly

Most wanted thing right now: Stimulus (*3)

Weakness: Sour things

Elementary school: Seishun Dai Daisan Elementary School

Committee: Graduation album committee

Strong subjects: Classics

Weak subjects: Science

Often-visited place in school: Photography room

Uses allowance on: Taking care of cacti

Skills beyond tennis: Winter sports, recognising constellations

His routines during tournaments: Drinking coffee from all over the world, contacting his brother

Favourite anniversary: Birthday of the person he likes

Preferred travel destination: Salar de Uyuni on a night with shooting stars

Present for a special person: A ring made of flowers

Scenes

For Fuji-senshu, who had specialised in counter tennis, a certain incident at the U-17 camp became an impetus for an awakening. (*4) Making the Critical wind ‘Aoi fubuki’ his new weapon, he changed his style greatly into offensive tennis.

(Quotes on pictures:) “Tensai Fuji Shuusuke.” “Now, shall we go one more time…” “Was there this kind of an tensai sleeping in Seigaku?” “This team reaching the nationals championship, that’s my wish!” “Game and set… won by Fuji Shuusuke…” “Critical wind ‘Aoi fubuki’” “One of the Critical winds, ‘Hikari kaze’” “I’ve already stopped playing just defensive tennis.”

Sparked by a certain oath, I began to aim for my own guidepost

Currently, both among fans and people involved, Fuji-senshu’s change to offensive tennis has become a topic of discussion. Was there some impetus for this?

An impetus? Well… I exchanged private oaths with a certain person - is all I think I’ll say here. Fufu.

An oath...? Please give us at least a hint!

Well, just a little, then… Before, I used to draw out the opponent’s strongest skills, felt the thrill of defeating them with a counter, and enjoyed myself like that. But in the end, that depended on the opponent. The guideposts you need to traverse on mountains, you have to find by yourself - that is what I understood.

About Fuji-senshu’s new technique, “Hikari kaze”. How are you able to react like that?

By ascertaining the opponent’s muscle movements and breathing, the moment that information is intracerebrally linked as an image, it’s as if time stops and all noises and the scenery of your surroundings disappear - only the trajectory of the shot the opponent has hit emerges as an signpost of light. So, from now on too, I will follow the guidepost I’ve found by myself, and am aiming to go beyond my limits.

Then, to finish, your objective from here on out is… eh, you already talked about that just now, didn't you?

Yes. I determined the next question before it was asked, and responded to it.

As expected of the prodigy Fuji. You got me there.

Message for Fuji Shuusuke

I thought you seem like you’d be popular with the girls. Alles gute! (Bismarck)

Congratulatiooons! By the way, show me your homework for the report next week ☆ (Kikumaru)

I made a lot of wasabi sushi as congratulations, so please eat them. (Kawamura)

I need to update my data. Congratulations. (Inui)

As expected, Fuji. Next time, let’s play until we are satisfied. (Tezuka)

It’s not something anyone can do. My respects. (Kaidou)

Congratulations Fuji-senpai! I won’t lose next time! (Momoshiro)

Not bad. But, please be prepared that I’ll snatch that from you one of these days. (Echizen)

Hooray! Should we take a memorial photo with everyone! (Ooishi)

I’m amazed. I feel like I’ve caught a glimpse of your hidden inner strength. (Duke)

Congratulations, you are the pride of Japan. (Noa)

Party talk

Q: What was your family’s reaction to the placement this time? A: I think my sister said ‘as expected of my little brother’. Yuuta… He was here, so I’ll ask right now. Hey, Yuuta --!

Q: Th-that bright red food…? A: I wanted to taste even more wonderful, stimulating foods. What about you?

Q: The singing performance just now was lovely! A: Being the first to go on the stage… it was thrilling and fun. (*5)

Q: Who have you talked with, and what was the topic? A: Member of staff, Oliver-san taught me about places near the tournament venue where you can see the starry sky well.

Q: During the sideshow, you took a picture of the audience, didn’t you. A: Because it’s rare to see Tezuka making that kind of an expression.

Q: Is there anything that has piqued your interest in the venue? A: That flower stand with cacti, I wonder which country it’s from… Tube?

History

Age 0 February 29 Birth

Age 4 After napping with Yuuta, is frightened by Yuuta who saw a bad dream and tears up

Age 8 Goes out sea bathing with Yuuta and Saeki

Age 9 Gets a camera from grandfather, starts taking pictures Is deeply impressed by the form of a swallow (tsubame) found in an aquarium

Age 12 March Graduates from Seishun Dai Daisan Elementary School

April Enters Seishun Gakuen Middle School Division Plays against Tezuka, is not satisfied

August Goes to Kawamura's house for the first time, wasabi sushi is made for him

December After Yuuta ran away from home, searches for him all through the night in the snow

Age 13 March The extremely spicy food he makes at gratitude-party is unpopular

April Proceeds to second year in middle school

June During the athletic festival cavalry battle, has a showdown against Tezuka (unsettled)

July Is scouted at his older sister's commemorative publication autograph signing party

February Succeeds(?) in a triple spin jump at the neighbourhood skating rink

Age 14 April Proceeds to third year in middle school Kikumaru, now in the same class, comes over to play for one consecutive week

May Start of the Tokyo Prefectural District Preliminaries Plays against Gyokurin in the quarterfinals, wins against Nakano in S1 Advances to the Semi-Finals November Plays against Mizunofuchi in the semifinals, wins against Egawa, Yamanishi pair in D2 Plays against Fudomine in the finals, defeated by Ishida-Sakurai pair in D2 by forfeit Wins the Tokyo Prefectural District Preliminaries championship, has a celebration at "Kawamura Sushi"

June Start of the Tokyo Prefectural Tournament Plays against Kamata in the Third Round, wins against Ishizaki in S3 Plays against Akiyama Third in the Fourth Round, wins against Morishima-Nishikawa pair in D2 Plays against St. Rudolph in the quarterfinals, wins against Mizuki in S2 Plays games with Yuuta who came to stay at home, loses Plays against Yamabuki in the Finals, defeated by Nitobe-Kita pair in D2 Wins the Tokyo Prefectural Tournament championship

July Start of the Kantou Tournament Plays against Hyoutei in the first round, wins against Akutagawa in S2 Bowling tournament with the Regulars Plays against Rokkaku in the semifinals, wins against Saeki-Itsuki pair in D1

July 27 Plays against Rikkai in the finals, wins against Kirihara in S2 Wins the Kantou Tournament championship Beach volleyball tournament during the joint training camp with Rokkaku

August 11 During a practice match with Tachibana, his Triple Counters are broken

August 17 Start of the National Tournament Plays against Higa in the second round, wins against Hirakoba-Chinen pair in D2

August 19 Plays against Shitenhouji in the semifinals, defeated by Shiraishi in S3 Participates in the yakiniku battle, drinks Aozu and drops out

August 23 Plays against Rikkai in the finals, wins against Niou in S2 Wins the National Tournament championship Is inspired when visiting a hollyhock gallery with Kawamura

October Is invited to an amusement park by a student whom he saved from groping, but declines

November Participates in the U-17 training camp Wins against Yuuta in the “friendly fire” matches The restaurant’s tabasco runs out, a restriction for use is put in place Plays against Tezuka who is leaving Japan, swears three things

December On the overseas training camp right before the U-17 world cup, faints from eating Akuto meshi at the pick-up tournament In Australia, enjoys coffees from all countries with Jackal U-17 pre-world cup begins Plays against Germany in the first match, wins against Bismarck-Siegfried pair U-17 world cup begins Plays against Australia on the second round of the qualifying league, wins against Mac-Milky pair in D1 Japan is qualified to play in the championship tournament

What I most want to photograph now is Australia’s starry night sky

During the camp and on off days, what do you do for a change of pace?

I guess the main one would be taking pictures. Especially on an overseas trip like this, taking a lot of pictures of sights I don’t usually see arouses my creativity.

Since coming to Australia, what kind of pictures have you taken?

When you go a bit outwards, there’s a desert, so I’ve taken a lot of pictures of cacti. But though you may say “cacti” in one word, there are tall ones, types that have a form that is round like a tennis ball, and so on - there are many different kinds. Besides that, I took pictures of koalas. Tanegashima-san recommended a good place to me… I could even hold them in my arms, so I had fun. What I’m thinking I most want to photograph next is the starry sky. Since it’s the Southern hemisphere, the scenery of the night sky totally differs from the sky in Japan. The Southern Cross, or capturing the Milky Way - I’d really like to take such pictures.

Do you show the pictures you take to someone?

I often send them to family and friends. I sent a lot of pictures of the koalas to my brother Yuuta, fufufu. It seems my sister likes cacti of weird shapes.

I think the fans also really want to see Fuji-san’s pictures.

I brought many with me today, so sure. I’d be happy if people would like them.

Photo

In Australia When I find the time within the U-17 tournament, I take pictures little by little. Don’t you think this koala looks like Yuuta?

Cacti We often go for walks together. Even if it’s a familiar scenery, it becomes fun when cacti are around. 

Family trip A camera is a magical tool that can cut out a scene that will not happen again. I can’t miss doing that when I’m traveling.

Fashion

Fuji really likes knits! Are you wearing the hat with ears that I gave you? (Kikumaru)

I’m not that interested, but protection against cold is important. It’s good to warm your body properly with a stole. (Ochi)

“I guess I wear a lot of clothes in white or beige. Especially in winter, I choose clothes that don’t clash with the snowy scenery.”

“After all, the feel when wearing something is important. Clothes with natural, smooth feeling materials are to my liking.”

Before, he used to wear things like shorts a lot, but it seems that’s not the case anymore. (Saeki)

Room

I’m aiming for a room with a Nordic taste Since around autumn, when I’ve had the time I’ve been changing the design little by little. I found an antique lamp, and I think I want to establish unity by using Nordic furniture. Next to my cacti, plants I got from Yukimura and Shiraishi have joined the group.

TN:

*1 Or “respond to those feelings.”

*2 Furigana says “closed eye”, but the kanji is actually for “kokoro no hitomi”, mind’s eye.

*3 "Shigeki": stimulus, impetus, incentive, encouragement, motivation, provocation, excitement, thrill.

*4 Literally enlightenment, spiritual awakening, opening one’s eyes to the truth.

*5 It’s not clear whether he is talking about himself, and I haven’t read the overall story yet, so this is my assumption.

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/sudden-shifts-in-perspective/

Sudden Shifts in Perspective

Sudden Shifts in Perspective

By Hare in the Moon Astrology

Sunday June 7 – June 14 2020

“To muster the heart, to stretch to the edge of what beckons you is your ticket to ride. This is what you are for. Your capacity to imagine is a subversive technology, altering everything. Dangerous. This is what you are for.” Melissa la Flamme

A heads up! The sudden shifts in perspective catalysed by Friday’s Gemini eclipse have torn the blinders off- personally and collectively. Old outdated laws, rules, beliefs and social norms are going to be dismantled and left in the dustbin of history as the fallout from the wild card eclipse ripples out in a domino effect until the baton of change is handed over at the next 2 eclipses across Gemini/Sagittarius on November 30th and December 13th.

Distortions, untruths, corruption, inequality, injustice and incongruency will be seen for exactly what it is – especially obvious in world leaders wearing the Emperor’s new clothes- and the usual platitudes, invoking religion or fobbing us off with promises of doing better will not cut it any longer. This week Mars meets Neptune in Pisces at odds with the Sun and the Node of Fate. Be alert for deception, fake news, along with cynical photo opportunities as diversionary tactics.

The big question is whose Truth is in accordance with Natural and Eternal Laws?

To navigate the coming 18 months of Gemini eclipses, you need to trust your own judgement above the social media echo chambers, above tribalism, to base your actions on your core values and to recognise when your body is giving you either a Big Yes or a Big No and follow its guidance.

This week, amplifying all the 3D polarisation, the separation and the ferocious tribalism we are seeing on our screens 24/7, on Sunday 14th June, Pluto and Jupiter make a 2nd exact square with Eris from Capricorn to Aries. Eris acts a subversive or chaotic agent, a disruptor of the status quo, a rule breaker -a female Awakener symbolising people and circumstances that are so different that you resist considering them “one of us” and instead see them as the Discomforting Other. A Stranger, an Alien. Think of how that is literally playing out in the US right now……..

This messenger of transformation brings growth by disrupting old patterns of thinking, beliefs and expectations, shattering the unexamined and comforting codes of “this is how we do things around here”. Through being challenged over and over by your reaction to radically new concepts and being compelled by circumstances beyond your control to integrate these concepts into a re-designed inner map of the world, you evolve into a much more expansive field of unity consciousness.

Reminder: we are in an unpredictable and volatile triple eclipse tunnel until July 22. Sudden shifts are everywhere and you won’t see them coming. There is nothing to do, ritualise, practise or change- just stay open and say Yes to change wherever it shows up in your life. These cosmic wild card eclipses are delivering you to a part of yourself that you’ve never met before and she is kinder, braver and wiser than you ever imagined:

The map is not the territory.

Respect for everyone’s map of the world

People make the best choices they can at the time from the thinking that looks real to them at the time.

Increase choice by constantly shifting from your Small Me perspective to the Witness Perch and back.

Action changes understanding. If you want to understand something, act, move, embody it.

You already have all the inner resources you need or can create them

Everything points to integration and wholeness

New! If you’re a creative, path paver,healer or sensitive, the 3 June/July eclipses are about to fast track you into Phase 2 Embodiment and change your way of living and working. Sign up to my June 5D Report:” Another Roll of the Eclipse Dice” : www.hareinthemoonastrology.co.uk

Find essential tools and resources for the emerging pathways at : www.hareinthemoonastrology.co.uk

““Freedom to create our very own, unique reality. That’s what your work does Lorna. So I thank you because its massive what you are doing and its helping so many of us” Katie M Clonmel Ireland

No sign forecasts today-I’m needing to rest.

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A TFN journey: a story in 3 parts - Part 3

2017 was my first Transformers convention. As a collector with more than a modest affection for Transformers, it had always felt like a box I needed to tick off. This is the third part of my story at TFNation.

If you’re joining me for the first time you can find parts one and two here and here respectively.  

A convention roars to life and stutters to a halt as abruptly as Predacons on a march. In the time span of days you ride the current and eddies of an energon rush. The whirlwind of experiences that accumulate meld into a hazy mess that you find yourself trying to piece together. For some it’s easy, for others it’s hard. I fell into the latter category.

I’m not sure if it felt particular harder because it was my first convention or it was because of the distance I’d traverse to get there but it took a while for my understanding to coalesce.  

What did become clear was that the comfort of finality was constantly thwarted by continuity. Conventions are sliding doors. You meet someone, chat with them, share great stories, build on old ones and move on. What’s never clear is if the story’s ended. You’re never sure if, where and when you might bump into them again.

That makes it hard to land on a sense of finality, to get a sense of closure, because you’re constantly accumulating new information. Whether its the big things like another piece of someone’s story or learning a bit more about their body language and mannerisms, incorporating this new information makes it hard to fully digest everything. It’s harder too as the late convention nights start to take their toll and you find yourself in need of a good slumber in the CR chamber.

I’ve mentioned Bobby and Matt previously but I want to start with them again. Two strangers who made me feel comfortable on the first night, I’d regularly meet them again and again over the course of the three days. Each time, I’d learn a little bit more about them, see how they were faring, and once again be grateful for generosity. More than that, through these repeat encounters I re-met people like Steve and Maz or met new people like the wonderfully talented Sam (who completed Trypticon hip surgery on the bar floor!).

Then there was finding Veicki (@megapurrv). At breakfast on Saturday, Veicki spotted me in my Rodimus costume. Turns out she was the one who’d made the t-shirt that was the centrepiece of my holo avatar costume. As I sat down to feast on the scrumptious Hilton breakfast, I penned in getting a photo with her later on. I mean, what were the odds of bumping into the person who designed my t-shirt? Something that had led to a mountain of fun? But as the hours of Saturday passed, ClubCon came and went, time snowed into the deep hours of Sunday morning at the bar, and another breakfast passed I thought I’d missed my chance. That’s the thing about conventions. You can never be sure if you’ll bump into someone again or have another chance to chat with them. You have to make the most of the opportunities you get. Fortunately for me, I did find Veicki just before I had to scurry away. I’m grateful to her for being such a large part of my TFNation story.

Among the reasons I chose TFNation over other conventions was Maz (@TFsquareOne). More than being the strong creative force that he is, Maz is a strong spark of positivity. A must in a fandom that predicates its joy on rekindling the fires of yesterday. I will admit to being apprehensive about spending some of my holiday time for a convention but I can attest that Maz radiates a lot of what is great about TFNation. The positivity, the camaraderie, the openness.

I also owe a lot to Maz. Pushing me to set up my collection was important. Coming home to my toy room, sitting in it, is an amazing experience. Left to my own devices, I would have procrastinated for years. The satisfaction I feel everytime I sit in it is hard to describe. But more important than that, Maz asking me to write a collector interview was something that forced me to reflect on one of the major privileges I’ve enjoyed in life. It made me acknowledge and appreciate my better half and the understanding she’s shown of my second love; a topic I somehow ended up chatting with Sexo (@sixo) about! So I looked forward to meeting this sod in the flesh.

An innately likeable bloke, Maz whirlwinded around TFNation. We crossed paths many times but it wasn’t until a quiet moment on Sunday afternoon that things slowed down enough for a meaty chat. It was amid this that he asked an incisive question. The exact wording eludes me but it was along the lines of “You seem to be doing really well for yourself?” It’s a hard question for me. One that I struggle with most days. For me, it’s hard because it carries the full weight of privilege that I know I’ve been fortunate enough to enjoy in this life. And the open question that that leaves me with is what am I going to achieve with that privilege? Beyond a successful career that affords me the opportunity to travel wherever I want, buy whatever I want? It’s a burden I continue to struggle with but I do know one thing for sure: that I’m obligated to try and be a source of positivity and warmth. If there’s someone who embodies that, it’s Maz. I waffled and meandered but I think I mouthed off something vaguely coherent to Maz. It wasn’t the sort conversation I expected to have at TFNation but if I was going to have it with someone, I’m glad it was Maz.

Last and certainly not least I have to thank Graham (@grhmthmsn) and Dom (@domsalvia). There’s no way I could write about this weekend without mentioning them. I’d interacted with both a lot online before TFNation. When I met both on Friday night, it was clear they were as adoringly charming in real life as they were online. Throughout the weekend our paths crossed regularly and I’m incredibly grateful to share a bunch of memories with them both across the weekend. Whether it was our conversation at the bar on Friday evening, camping in line on Saturday morning, being introduced to the amazingly talented and affable Lisa (@DarkestH0ur), the fun in James Roberts’ queue, sharing a Blurr-like meal before ClubCon, or that conversation with Sexo about photography on Sunday, those guys were so much of what made TFNation great for me. I hope I was able to fully convey my appreciation to each of them.

You would think the story ends there. But it doesn’t. Something I’ve come to realise is that a convention like TFNation creates not only new memories but, more than that, new strands of continuity. Trying to organise them into tidy compartments is an exercise in futility. You might as well be Lug trying to dissuade Anode from a reckless course of action. This dawned upon me in the days post TFNation as I found myself still unpacking those things through the imperfect lens of information creep.

The post convention TFNation love you feel (on Twitter for me) makes you realise that you’ve formed new and stronger bonds with people you had only fleetingly known, bonds that make interacting with them all the more meaningful and fun.

There are the people you kind of knew but now know more about. Gareth (@SantiagoJones) was a sneaky bugger and snuck in a little reference I almost missed in a display of his hidden artistic talents. Every time I watch Geelong, an Australian Rules Football team, play now I think of fondly of him. He’s also responsible for a tweet that caused me to snort inappropriately in the middle of a pretty intense meeting. It was funnier because having met Mr. Jones I could hear the voice that was delivering the tweet. There’s also Kit (@tikgnat, a.k.a. Collector Interview 40) who I knew more by his hilarious resume of work rather than by who he was. Being able to hear his infectiously cheeky voice now whenever he trolls something adds an extra layer of amusement. These countless little post-convention moments remind me that TFNation wasn’t just an awesome Transformers convention, it was also a catalyst: a catalyst for new stories, new bonds, and new friendships.      

But it also applies to the doors you missed. Missed opportunities with people re-manifest with unexpected acts of generosity and kindness. I missed Ben (@Waspshot) but he kindly posted me the amazing Refined Robot Co. booklet. In another example of things not going to plan but working out better than Prowl could’ve planned, Stuart (@Inflatabledalek) sent me a copy of his book that I’d forgotten to procure in person in the steam-rolling rush that was TFNation. You can find this wonderful walk down memory lane here. There’s also Becka (@tainkirrahe). I recognised her on Twitter post TFNation. Though I didn’t talk to her at TFNation, she seemed at ease and comfortable. But there was more than meets the eye there and in the weeks after TFNation I learnt about her amazing story of personal courage and fortitude. In many ways, it reminded me of the fragile journey my little sister is on and the role I still have to play in that.  

Then there’s your own collecting. Collecting is generally a very personal and isolated thing. A convention brings to life figures new and old. Whether it be through conversation, observing robot surgery, cheeky posing, or browsing the stalls, you collect stories about toys that are additive to the appreciation of your collection. Many moments come to mind but two stick out more than others. The first was Maketoys Galaxy Meteor who was tucked under the arm of a generous collector’s father on his way to the car which I rambled on about in part two. As a result, even before the #GetMakeToysMade episode, I knew this figure was going to be special to me. The second was Micron Legends Tidal Wave where the collector (Tim, I think!) and I spent time reminiscing where we were at in that era of collecting. These shared moments come home with you. They make that next time you cross that old toy an extra bit special or that wait on that new toy just a bit more exasperating.  

There are still so many stories that I was fortunate enough to accumulate but can’t fit here. But the fact I’m not able to squeeze  those in does not make any of those less special. Hell, there’s a a wonderful Simon Furman story in there. But TFNation was great not because of any one event. It was great because of the kindness and generosity of the community that was there.

My TFNation experience reminded me that there’s never a script. The primal search for a satisfactory sequence of events, a sense of finality, is undermined by the fact that reality is a series of sliding doors that, with or without your best efforts, is dependent on the kindness of strangers. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn’t.

In my case, I’m pleased to report that it did. I have been the beneficiary of many privileges in life, and I’m grateful to count this experience among them.

Thanks for reading this far. Thank you, TFNation. Safe journeys, thank you all again, and see you when I see you.  

This could happen (Trixya) - Toki

AN: First submission! A little one shot real-world Trixya for your nerves ft. a touch of smut. TW: Drink, drugs, swearing.

It was the longest leg of the journey, a boiling hot summer’s morning, and Trixie was already bored. On a day like this she should be out on the beach, eyes half closed in the dazzling light, sun pouring over her skin and drawing shadows across her slowly hardening abs. She loved going to the gym. She loved showing off her muscles, as if she had no idea anyone was watching her smooth skin ripple when she flexed. She loved being athletic, feeling adult. Getting a smoothie.  Now she was folded over the central table of the tour bus, listlessly checking the latest Instagram posts she’d been tagged in from the show the night before.  Nothing stood out as she scrolled. The usual thirty meet and greet selfies, the three photos of her grimacing and presenting a gifted copy of Contact, a photo of her with her arm draped over the shoulder of a slight twink sporting a hastily-bought merch T.  Everyone wants to stand out. Form a lasting connection, make an impression, linger in the sleepy next-day mind of the famous drag queen. No one did. She turned off her phone.

The bus was an ageing one, more fitting for a medium-low budget tour. The outlets didn’t work. Battery must be conserved, and that meant socialising.  Trixie pushed herself up from the couch and took a moment to stretch, flexing her biceps as the sun flashed through the windows.  “Ooh girl,” Violet piped up from the front. “Get it mama. Bring those arms up here.” Trixie yawned as she paced forward to where a few of her tourmates were curled up.  It was the tenth morning of the Summer of Drag tour, a long bill spanning fifteen states over twenty-four days. Trixie, Violet, Bianca, Alaska, Aja, Max, Pandora Boxx and Michelle Visage were all on the roster.. for most of the time, anyway. The Summer of Drag lineup varied several times between states to accommodate the busy schedules of the stars, although Trixie, Michelle and Pandora were permanent fixtures. From tomorrow Pearl would be around for a few days, Adore after that, and Sasha V at some point in future.  Trixie dropped down next to Violet and put an arm around her. The mood was definitely low energy, a droning song on the radio as endless fields rolled by outside. The sky was an impossible blue. Thousands of tiny scratchmarks on the windows caught the sun and frosted the windows gold. Most of the queens dozed. A gradual click, click waded into Trixie’s consciousness. She couldn’t place it. “Look at this bullshit.” Violet pushed her phone into Trixie’s hand and slid her sunglasses down over her eyes, shifting a little sideways to get more comfortable. Trixie glanced at the screen, an open text conversation dancing before her eyes as she tried to steady it against the pitch of the bus.

From: PURL bitch I know

From: PURL but like

From: PURL they said they’d find someone else

From: PURL so

Sent: ok but people are gonna talk shit about it cause you did this before (seen)

From: PURL yeah

Sent: I hope they send someone fun (seen)

Sent: this tour is dull af without you (seen)

Sent:  did they say who  (seen)

Sent: i am sooooo oooo oooo boredd (seen)

From: PURL no

From: PURL sorry purp

“Oh, that sucks.“  Trixie tried to pass the phone back to Violet, but her friend had fallen asleep.  She missed Pearl. It was weird how such a chill person could make everything so much more interesting. They hadn’t seen each other since a show in Boston that spring, and she’d been looking forward to catching up. Getting drunk together maybe. Goofing off.  Trixie glanced down at Violet, now snoring slightly. Tiny dark hairs had begun to pepper the skinny queen’s upper lip. A spot of drool was threatening to fall onto Trixie’s shirt. She shifted away slowly, willing it not to move until she was out of its path. Violet was always so confident. It dripped off her just like that drool drop. She seemed so permanently at ease, sometimes making Trixie feel awkward and misplaced against her backdrop of casual droll glamour. No big though. Not really. She was learning to let go of a little of that tightly woven country-boy background that kept her careful in life and love.

I guess we’ll see what the future holds. Maybe I’ll meet someone soon.

Her relationship with David had gone the invitable way of all the rest. Intense half-year honeymoon made stronger by the absences, but eventual scraps over missed dates and finally long silences, a few attempts to resurrect their romance, and a pretty inevitable break up. She didn’t blame him. It’s hard being in love with someone constantly on the go, and David had never been particularly interested in her drag. They’d shared a love of video games and a few music interests, but it hadn’t proven enough to last.

Trixie glanced up at the other queens spread around the bus. Aja was next to Violet, sound asleep. Beyond her Pandora, asleep too. Michelle was on the other side of the aisleway, tapping at her phone carefully with inch-long fake nails. Click, click. Oh, that was the noise. Beyond her was Max, deep in a book. Trixie shifted position and studied her for a minute. The morning sun played across the outline of the boy’s aquiline nose, casting a liquid silhouette across the pages as she turned them slowly. Crazy bone-structured baby bitch. Damn. She resumed count subconsciously.  Alaska was somewhere in the back, probably napping in her bunk. Bianca nonexistent. She’d opted to take flights between stops instead. Hated tour buses. The tour manager was probably up front with the driver. And that made nine. "Okay. Okay okay.” Trixie had finally freed herself from Violet. She rose to her feet and swung herself back towards the table where her phone lay, pushing the power button as she continued towards the bunks at the back. She scanned the rows for her nametag, mostly out of habit by now. Her bed was on the middle shelf, towards the back on the right-hand side. It wasn’t too bad, considering. Older buses seemed to have roomier bunks, and the external wall of hers was just one huge window with a rolling shade to block out the light. She slid it up halfway to let the sun pour in, mostly so she could watch the fields slide by as she rested her head on her warm pink pillow. The landscape really made her think of home. Occasional farmhouses baking in the hot sun, one or two with their aluminium windmill blades turning slowly. Somewhere a fan whirred softly. No birdsong, just the whisper of grass shifting. The quiet purr of the engine. Time slowing. Her eyelids drooped as the details began to blur. This was a nice moment. Tour wasn’t so bad.

“Rest stop ladies!”

Sweaty neck. Dry mouth. Possibly sunburn. Trixie shifted and reached for her phone as she felt the bus slowing down.

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Mom (9) Katya (6) Kim (3) More…

From: Katya idiot

From: Katya idiot

From: Katya barb

From: Katya deb

From: Katya shelby

From: Katya shelby

Ugh.

Sent: Hey

Sent: What’s up

…

(seen)

Katya is typing

“TRIXIEE” came the roar of Violet’s voice, startling the sleepy queen. “GET UP ASSHOLE.” “Oh my god.” “Come on! I need vodka!” “Violet,” Trixie slid out of the bunk and stretched, pacing slowly towards the front. “You don’t need me to fund your alcohol problem girl. Work it out.” Violet had already disappeared through the door. Honestly, Trixie was glad for a break from the drive. She was the last one off the bus, stepping out into the scorching heat as the sunlight landed almost physically onto her skin. She could smell the hot tarmac of the rest-stop parking lot baking in the heat. A bird was croaking somewhere. Time to head for the gas station. She wanted something to drink, some snacks, and definitely something to read. Her phone battery was nearly dead, so she knew she’d be bored as hell for the next five hours.  The cool of the airconditioned store was immediately soothing as Aja’s dry laugh hit her ears. She was a cool kid. Her fanbase after her season aired had grown pretty fast, everyone fascinated by her naomi meets kim aesthetic. She was so honest, too. Easy to like. “Trixie.” Violet broke into her thoughts suddenly, rounding the aisle with a bottle of alcohol in each hand. She bore down on Trixie, offering one as she started to chatter.  “Vodka’s two for one. I have no cash though and my wallet’s on the bus. If you get me this I’ll let you have the other one.” Trixie didn’t even bother to protest the deal. “Sure girl. Get me a mixer, Coke’s fine.” She glanced down at the magazine rack in front of her. It was the usual assembly of shitty gossip editions, packed with fake headlines and the kind of exaggerated celebrity nonsense news that bordered on slander. She’d read all of them. A small side section of arts and crafts books caught her eye though, and she reached for a book of guitar tabs peeking out from the rack. It proved to be an out-of-print collection of 2000-2005 country song arrangements by local state musicians, the poorly printed cover a photo of an older man sitting on his porch with a scrappy looking dog. Looked dumb. Maybe she’d pick up some inspiration for her next tune. A couple of songs from her recently-released album had proven pretty popular, not just with the Drag Race fanbase but also the general public, even charting on the country music billboard. Since then she’d started working on new material, but her creativity had kind of dried up. Nothing stuck. Trixie headed for the counter, grabbing a bag of chips along the way. Violet was waiting for her and passing time making idle conversation with the clerk. He’d clearly recognised the queen, and was not-so-subtly attempting to swing a selfie.  “I’ll take a photo with you if you give me cigarettes,” Violet purred. That’s weird.  “You started smoking, girl?” Violet shrugged. The cashier’s face had fallen a little, and he started to explain that giving out store goods could get him fired. “I got ‘em. I’m not supporting your habit though. You owe me. This is blood money.” “Yeah yeah, I’ll pay you in show money tonight.” Violet laughed. “I always get more than you, so.” “You don’t even need it, cunt. You’re the rich one.” Trixie swiped her card as Violet gathered up their shopping. Her gaze fell on the songbook and she started to mention it, but Trixie’s less than playful shrug stopped her from cracking a joke.  “I’m bored,” she offered by way of explanation. “I figured I’d learn some uh… Backyard Bill and the Moonshines.” “Sounds cool, girl.” Violet shoved the cigarette pack into her back pocket. “I wanna do shots when we get on the bus though. If Pearl’s not coming I’m gonna just get drunk without her.”

Two hours later, Violet set about making good on her promise. Trixie stared at the row of shot glasses Aja was setting up on the table as Violet made sure they were quickly filled.  Alaska was next to her on the couch, slowly peeling nail glue off her fingernails with her characteristic bored langour. She was droning on about the new fashion label venture Sasha Velour was collaborating on. It was interesting, but Trixie wasn’t interested. Max was tucked up on the rear sofa at the table, deep in conversation with the side of Michelle’s face as she continued texting whoever it was she was always talking to.  “Yeah honey,” Trixie heard her murmur, “yeah yeah. Yep.” Aja pushed a shot into her eyeline. “Time to drink, Trixita.” Shots right after lunch. Three hours to go until the venue. Why not? “Cheers.” She downed the vodka easily, Violet a second behind her. Max glanced up from her seat but shook her head at Aja’s offer of a shot. “Guess it’s just the three of us. Move up.” As she started to squeeze onto the couch next to Aja, Violet’s phone lit up for a brief moment.  “How are you getting charge, girl?” “I have a battery pack, a girl gave it to me last night after I tweeted about this dump truck not having power.” “Work.” Trixie dug into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She checked the screen to see her battery level. 2%.

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Agent (29) BTDQ (10) Kim (9) Katya (4) Mom (2) More…

Oh yeah, what did Katya want?  Trixie swiped her phone, but let out an exasperated sigh as the screen froze and then faded to black. “Violet, can I use your charger?” “Sorry girl.” The skinny brunette shrugged as she tied her long hair into a ponytail. “It’s out. Only lasted for like an hour. Hey, round two.”

By the time the tour bus pulled into the venue parking lot it was already starting to get dark. Red stripes scored the early evening sky as the last of the golden sun painted the city skyscrapers. Lights were flicking on all around, late workers hunched over desks as everyone poured into the streets to begin their various evening plans. So many lonely people. I’m super romantic. And super drunk. Fuuck. Trisie slid her bag otno her shoulder andd stagered down theh bus gangway.  STTUUPID. shouldnt get tshi drunk before a show  buit theres no meet and greet tonigth  it'sl be fine she’d alreday put on her makuep evne though it wasn'r completetly as good as usuual. last shot was anhour ago and she was actually startig to sober up. she jstu needed some fresh air. pulling her hood up, she stpped into the cooling evenign air and took a deep breath.  that’s goood. not so bad.  ACtually, startig to feel a lottt better. Pandora put an arm around her shoulders as her head stopped spinning. “You ok?” “Yeah girl. Just shouldn’t drink on the bus. I’m good.” They shared a moment’s laughter as they heard the sudden roar from the line snaking around the side of the building, ripples of excitement spreading as the fans caught sight of the famous queens. “Let’s get inside.” Trixie followed the other queens as the group of prearranged roadies and assistants flooded out from the building. She greeted her assigned aid Toby and pointed out her suitcases amongst the pile being quickly unloaded from the bus, before stepping into the venue and narrowing her eyes to accommodate the dim lighting in the hallway. She was definitely still feeling drunk. Probably needed to touch up her makeup before getting on stage. She checked her watch, peering in the low light. The opening number was in an hour.  Trixie turned the corner of the hallway to see the dressing room doorway and soon spotted the familiar line of mirrors and lights. She plopped herself next to Aja, the newer queen of the pack looking a little more drunk than she was. “Which order are you on?” Aja glanced at the sheet on the countertop as she quickly unloaded her makeup. “Uhh.. Second, right after.. does that say Pandora?” Trixie leaned closer and nodded. “Yeah. Before Max. Then me. There’s no meet and greet tonight though, right?” Aja screwed up her eyes to make out the difference between her foundation powder shades. She held up a brush in a wobbly hand and took a stab at reaching for her base shade. She knocked it off the table.  “Yeah. I think Bianca’s first and last and she usually stays on, right?” “Up to her, girl.” Trixie found to her surprise that her makeup was actually pretty on point. She reached for her set of preprepared lashes and twisted the cap off her Duo tube, running a line of the glue down the middle of each dark clump.  “I can’t wait to get out tonight after this. I want a nap. I’m so fucking tired of the heat. I can’t ever sleep properly, it’s like I just get cramps and have these weird dreams about being late for this summer camp I went to when I was a kid. Except I never went to this one, so it’s like my head just came up with this weird.. place..” Trixie trailed off as she noticed how skillfully and deliberately Aja was painting her face. The younger queen had quickly transformed her cheeks into a distinctive contour, lining her nose with cream shades as she scrunched her eyes up to focus her vision. “Girl how are you so good at this when you’re drunk?” Aja laughed. “I’ve done this so many times. Like too many.” “Worrrk, what do you use to highlight?” “Twin Cake with Ice Angel and Kitten Parade, I’m doing shimmery fairy fantasy tonight.” Trixie glanced over in surprise as she held one set of lashes to her eyelids to let the glue dry. “Seriously? I haven’t met anyone else who uses those two together.” Aja laughed. “I learned it from you! You did a Periscope once ages ago and I asked you what you used. I still use it for my pink look.” “No way.” Trixie blinked a few times to check her lashes were fully attached. All good. “Well girl, I’m gonna go find something to keep my buzz going.” She reached into her bag and yanked out her phone charger, hammering it into the wall and hooking up her phone as she stopped to glance around. Where’s Violet?  A sudden rise in volume hit her as Bianca swept into the room. Immediately her head began to ache and she slipped out the door behind the tiny comedian queen, pausing to give her a quick air kiss. She knew roughly where the stage was, so she started down the hallway to the left hoping to run into an assistant who could grab her a whiskey from the bar. The pounding of the bass from the club filled the air. Trixie paused for a moment to identify the song.  It’s.. yeah, it’s Sissy That Walk.  Would she ever get away from the Ru Girl fame? She knew she should be grateful. Oh, she really was. But it was wearing to travel for weeks on end with people she couldn’t completely bond with, medicating with alcohol to pass the hours. She definitely needed to slow down on that. Except for now. She just wanted to get to the end of this corridor and find the club staff.

Instead, she turned the corner and ran straight into Katya. It took her a few seconds to adjust. The shorter queen was fully made up, double Courtney wig pinned on top in an effortless sweeping blonde style that looked a far stretch from her usual careless ‘ugly drag’. She was wearing her red cheerleader outfit, KATYA spelled out across her chest in black letters. Her bright blue eyes shone out from their smokey black makeup, teeth flashing a perfect white in the low light as she roared with laughter at Violet, the brunette hanging off her arm with a happy devotion.  Trixie sucked in her breath in total surprise. 

“Katya!” she shrieked, a little too excitedly for her own taste. Her comedy partner’s head whipped around and she was met with an enormous grin. Immediately she reached for her friend’s tiny frame. Hugging Katya was always like taking a little bag of bones into her arms, all frenzy and energy and joy.  “What are you doing here?” “They booked me, mama! I’m the surprise guest!” Trixie was flooded with a wave of half-drunk affection. Right when she needed someone to feel close to, here��s this idiot. The pair shared an unbelievable connection, always had. She suddenly found she could bear the thought of the tour. Felt excited, even. “Are you doing any other nights? How long are you staying for?” she asked into Katya’s wig, before pulling out of the hug.  “Just tomorrow!” Their eyes were locked, a moment Trixie didn’t want to break out of. Characteristically, Katya turned away first. “Christ, I need a cigarette.” “I gotcha girl.” Trixie narrowed her eyes as Violet reached into her back pocket and prized out the pack of Camels. She waved it in front of Katya’s face, grinning slyly. “Trade you. Sexual favours.” Oh right. Now it makes sense. She knew. Violet always flirted with Katya. Ever since they’d slept together on tour ages ago, Trixie had definitely felt the sexual tension whenever the queens got in the same room. It was pretty one-sided though, right? Katya laughed and reached for the cigarettes. “You beast! Using my addiction against me Barbara? Are you coming out?"  Violet tightened her grip on Katya’s arm and began tugging her toward the fire exit further down the hallway. As Trixie turned to head in the opposite direction she heard the brunette cackle, "Of course! I’m gonna suck your dick in the alley. Let’s go, bitch.” Eye roll. “I’m so fucking glad you’re here Katya. I’m boooored. You know Pearl dropped the tour?” An insistant flower of anger tugged at Trixie’s throat as she finally reached the backstage area. “Hey someone, can I get a Fireball?” So Violet had known since that morning. Katya was supposed to be Trixie’s comedy partner. They could’ve arranged something. Thrown together an impromptu UNHhhh. Knocked something up to completely eclipse everyone else. To be honest with herself, she’d had been feeling a little overshadowed on the tour. So many gigs and dates had left her little time to work on anything new, so she’d fallen back on Candy Man and a guitar piece from one of her more popular recent songs. Everyone laughed a little flat at her jokes, they’d heard them a thousand times before on social media. And Katya was this.. this catalyst of unpredictable humour, like some explosion of random parts of a thousand cultural references and bit-parts mashed through her perfect set of teeth. She was always, always a surprise. Her stupid goofball humour reached into Trixie and yanked out the best parts of her. Framed them in the spotlight. Made her so cuttingly funny, every joke landing like an old classic, met with shrieks of laughter.  Trixie and Katya the Comedy Duo were a force, and they could outshine absolutely anyone. “Here you go,” Toby showed up out of nowhere, slipping a glass of whiskey into her hand. “Straight up, on us.” “Thanks.”

Two hours later, her buzz was still going strong as she sat down to take off her makeup.  Her performances had gone well, met with a level of appreciation and such a genuine response from the fans that she was left a little humbled. This was what it was about, right? Being an entertainer.  Trixie lifted the heavy wig off her head and let out an enormous groan.  “Suck it up, queen.” Bianca slid down into the chair next to her, quickly touching up her lipliner with an expert eye. “At least you can go to bed. I’m on meet and greet for an hour.” “I’m not going to bed yet girl. Have you seen Katya?” Bianca glanced round and lifted a finger to point at the sky. “What do you think?” Oh yeah. The familiar trap beat opening of Same Parts filtered through the doorway, met with the deafening roar of the already-energised crowd. As Alaska piped up across the room about how much in royalties Katya must have earned for Tatianna, Trixie suddenly remembered her phone. She swiped it on and opened her messages.

From: Katya i’m booked with you!

From: Katya see you tonight

From: Katya lets do a double? I’ve got some new material

From: Katya call me call me

From: Katya deb?

From: Katya see you soon mama

The five mixed drinks Trixie had consumed since reaching the venue quickly welled up in her throat as she suddenly felt regretful about those nasty little thoughts she’d haboured about her friend. Poor Katya, she’d tried to get in touch. She was actually such a good person. And this momentary feeling of elation definitely has nothing to do with feeling jealous before. Jealous of what? I mean it’s normal to want to spend time with Katya. But Violet draping herself on her is so fucking gross. Give me a chance to talk to her.  Trixie suddenly felt a pang of nostalgia for their Australia tour. They’d shared the limelight 50-50 and had spent a couple wonderful days and nights goofing off so far from the usual routine of the big US tours. It’d been so great. Katya’s great. Where’s Katya? Katya’s on stage. Katya’ll be out soon. Katya’s sleeping on the bus tonight. Trixie paused her thought train to sweep her towering pile of black-smudged facewipes into the trash. She quickly slid out her contacts, dumped everything into her bags and shouldered the lightest. Toby, who’d been texting in the corner, immediately jumped to his feet and started ferrying her cases out to the back.  “See you on the bus boo,” Violet piped up, quickly taking down her hair. Alaska was sprawling next to her, texting frantically. No reason to stay here.  Trixie nodded and zipped up her jacket, heading out into the cold air. A pair of fans beyond the fence about forty feet off spotted her and started howling her name, so she gave them a little halfhearted wave before climbing up into the bus. She felt pretty drunk, still. It’d be a shame to waste it.  “SHOT.” “Oh my god.” As her heart returned to normal, Frank the tour manager slid a shot glass across the table. It was still smudged with Aja’s lipstick.  “This is my last night. Pete’s taking over tomorrow.” “Where are we going next again?” “Houston, then Austin.” “And after?” “Tulsa.” “Mhmm.” Trixie skulled the shot and winced. “That’s me for the night.” “No way, everyone’s doing a round when they get on board.” “Well Katya won’t.” “Oh right, I forgot. Was she like an alcoholic before?” “No. She just has an addictive personality and she doesn’t want it. She’s not really into doing things unless it’s a super serious blackout, yknow?” Frank whistled quietly. “Must be tough. You know a lot about her.” Trixie shrugged. “Well, we spend a lot of time talking.” “Do you ever run out of things to talk about?” “No.” Trixie ran her fingertip around the rim of her shot glass. She felt herself click into an automatic Talk-About-Katya mode. It was pretty familiar - she’d probably mentioned her comedy partner in 8/10 interviews. “She’s so funny. I’d marry her if it’d ever actually work between us. But you have to be attracted to someone before you’d want to spend that amount of time with them.” She paused for a second to think. “Either that, or not attracted to them at all. That’s why we get on so well.” Frank reached out and took the glass from between her fingers. “So you’re saying you’re completely 100% platonic?” “I mean..” Trixie started to hear the vague chatter of a few of her tourmates as they approached the bus. “Katya says attraction’s a spectrum. Like it’s such a fluid thing that changes from day to day. There’s definitely times when she’s into me sexually.” The alcohol loosened her lips for a moment. “I liked her too, at first. But I had a boyfriend and the shooting schedule was so intense, we weren’t really allowed to talk in private cause they wanted to film everything. So nothing ever happened.” “Right, yeah.” Frank leaned back to glance out of the window at the approaching queens. “But nothing after it wrapped?” Trixie shrugged. “I mean I definitely liked her. You can’t not like her. But we work so well as business partners that I never let anything happen between us, so I guess..” She shrugged. “That whole physical thing just died out. For me, anyway. I’m all or nothing, emotionally.” Pandora’s face appeared through the doorway, followed by Michelle. “She isn’t much for romance, though. As you could guess.” “Who?” barked Michelle, sliding in next to Trixie. She reached out and took one of the shot glasses Frank had finished refilling. “Who are we talking about?” “Katya.” “Ohh.” Downing the vodka with an expert flick of the wrist, Michelle pulled out her phone and immediately started to text. “The whole Ross-Rachel thing. Don’t you ever get tired of talking about it?"  Trixie shrugged. "It’s pretty good for business. It can get weird though.” She leaned forward. “You know fans write stories about us getting together?” “Mm-hmm.” “They’re elaborate, too. There’s this whole demographic of underaged girls that want us to get together. I don’t get it at all.” Michelle glanced up. “Honey, it’s obvious. Everyone needs a lovestory to believe in. Writing it makes them feel like a part of it.” “You’re right.” “WOW-WOW-WOW-WOW.” Katya’s familiar sex-noise echoed out from her parted grinning lips as the blonde queen burst onto the bus with Violet quickly in tow. “Drinks, ladies? God, I’m so hot. Is there a shower here?” Michelle gestured towards the rear of the coach.  “Help yourself. Use one of the guest towels on the shelf.” “Thanks mama. Nice doing business."  As she swept past the table, Katya glanced down at the line of shot glasses and grabbed one. She slid it over to Trixie before anyone could react and winked. "Trixie’s having mine.” “No, girl. I’m about to be passing out.” “Wouldn’t be the first tiiiime,” Katya half-sang as she disappeared into the bus bathroom. Trixie slid hers over to Michelle who accepted it without comment. They locked eyes for a brief moment, and the motherly brunette gave a smirk.  “You like it when she pays attention to you though, right?” “Oh yeah, she’s great. She makes you feel like the only person in the world.” Violet dropped her phone on the table and slid in next to Michelle. “Oh yeah,” she laughed. “And I’m gonna make HER feel like the only person in the world tonight.” Trixie suddenly snapped into focus. “Wait, yeah. Where’s she sleeping? All the beds are full.” “With me!” Violet rolled her eyes. “Duh. Literally. Literally!” “Yeah, we get it.” Frank broke into the conversation. “You want to fuck him. But not on this bus. Everyone needs sleep and you can hear everything, you know that.” “Shut up, Frank.” “No, he’s right.” Trixie spun around to face Violet, head swimming slightly. “I need to sleep this off, girl. You and Katya can fuck as much as you want, but not in your bunk. It’s above mine, and you know I hate noise like that.” Violet shrugged. “Fine. I’ll get a hotel in.. Where are we next?” “Austin.” “No, Houston. And you can’t, we have to get across to Austin by lunch. We’re driving all night.” “Fuck, I’m never getting laid.” The chat subsided into casual remarks about the evening, but it was always crazy how much everyone loved to talk about Katya. Trixie absentmindedly chewed a fingernail as she tried to understand her friend’s intense charm. It’s like people just wanted to experience her through conversation. Like even if she wasn’t around, she was on people’s minds. She’d even won over- “Alasssssssssssska!” Violet hooted, as the sleepy-eyed queen stepped onto the bus. “Bitch c'mere, we’re toasting Fred. Frank.” “Coming purple monster,” Alaska replied in her gutteral vocal fry. “Were you waiting for me?” “You wish girl. Here.” “Thanks girl. Where’s Kattie sleeping tonight?” “In with me,” Trixie blurted suddenly. She wasn’t taking the chance of Katya and Alaska hooking up. Everyone had half been expecting it since their Aspen snapchats and resulting intense fast friendship. Since those stupid Pure commercials they’d been talking on the phone a lot too.  Katya had a theory about separation of sex and soul. She’d gone into great exploratory detail a few times: wild-eyed, arms waving happily as she burned through cigarettes and spilled thoughts from that great endless mind of hers at a million miles an hour. She loved the idea of anchorless love. She couldn’t see it as a minefield, or anything but a way to tie everything together. She wanted to have sex with the entire world. But sort of with her heart. And brain. And dick. Anyway, she insisted that a successful business partnership could happen even when you were sleeping together. But not with feelings involved - she’d put her foot down about that immediately.  Trixie couldn’t separate emotions and physicality like that. She meant it when she said all or nothing. But maybe Alaska would give Katya what she wanted, and they’d be the next hot new comedy pairing. Maybe that’s what Katya was after. And now she was heading back down the aisle of the bus, makeup gone, towelling off her short blonde hair in a pair of black shorts and a Tshirt that said сука.  “Hiiieee,” she grinned. “What’d I miss. Oh, we’re driving.” Several of the queens around the table turned to check that yes, the bus had smoothly pulled out and was now making its way down an orange-lit road.  “Move over,” Katya squeezed onto the very full seat next to Alaska. Their legs tangled up and she fluidly threw an arm around her shoulders. “Tell me about the tour so far mama. How’s this pit of dusty rusty snakes treating you?” “Oh we’re fiiine.” Alaska dropped her phone onto the table and turned her full attention to her friend.  No one gets her away from that phone but Katya. Trixie leaned forward to join the conversation, but became suddenly aware her head had seriously begun to spin. “Violet’s up to her her usual antics. Max has read every single book, or maybe just one long book, and Michelle’s been doing my nails. We’re nail friends. I hate this god damn bus though."  "Shit.” Alaska and Katya turned to glance at Trixie, who’d turned pale and started to sweat. “Guys, I need to get out.” They quickly made space for her to clamber towards the bathroom, where she slid the door shut and dropped to her knees by the toilet. Everything was super swimmy. Ugh.  She rested her forehead on the seat and closed her eyes. It’d pass. It was mostly the movement of the bus anyhow. She just needed a minute.

“TRIXIE!!” The barbie queen’s eyes snapped open. How long had she been asleep? She reached up and unlatched the door, and immediately Violet spilled in.  “Oh my god. Oh my god I’ve been needing to pee so bad. You fuckin asshole. Get out of here.” “Sorry girl. I passed out for a sec.” Trixie pulled herself unsteadily to her feet and navigated past her friend. She glanced at a few of the empty bunks before swinging herself carefully into her own, head beginning to pound.  “Why do I do this? Fuck.” Time to get some rest. Trixie brought the glowing dial of her watch up to her face and screwed up her eyes in hope of making some sense of the time. 1:12 AM. She’d been out for half an hour.  Down the hallway the queens were still going strong. She could hear Michelle, Aja and Alaska ribbing back and forth, Katya’s shriek of laughter rippling out from time to time. Pandora and Max were deep in conversation, but she couldn’t hear what about. It didn’t matter. Time for sleep.

Neon.

Neon green. Soft. A smoky heavy texture in the air, summer night lonely. Darkness and neon and green. Still.  Two blurry little figures.

Trixie opened her eyes properly and peered out of the window.  The bus was parked up at a gas station. The lights of the pumps were shining out into the dark, and by the edge of the clearing Katya and Alaska were sharing what looked like a joint and talking to each other quietly.  As Trixie watched, Alaska reached up to touch Katya’s arm for just a second. They had their backs turned, and Katya exhaled in a long slow stream of smoke that faded softly into the darkness beyond.  Everything was mostly silent on the bus. A few snores filtered through intro Trixie’s consciousness. She checked the time again - 3:54 AM.  And she suddenly felt lonely. That was the thing with her and Katya. The lines were so blurry they had to be made completely clear and concrete. But Katya was right - attraction was fluid. And right now, Trixie’s heart hurt with jealousy and a touch of confusion.  The way Alaska and Katya were talking in a calm, quiet way made her a little nervous, too. Alaska could cut so easily through to Katya’s more serious side, the vulnerable bit she kept hidden away for the most part. She showed it on Periscope sometimes. Trixie had watched them all.  So what if those two start doing more together? And UNHhhh gets even less of Katya’s time? Whatever they do’ll never be as successful.  She had to admit it felt great working with Katya. She loved how everything seemed to be a predictable hit; platinum star fanbase gold. Their joint videos immediately climbed to most viewed, any minute interaction on social media prized and screencapped and retweeted and obsessed over. Financially, it was a winning combo. And..  And it made her feel special being half of Trixie and Katya when the other half was somewhere nearby being loved by the whole world. Cause there was that connection. It was implied. Katya was in some very unspoken, very platonic way - mostly platonic way - a little bit Trixie’s.  Now the silent late-night duo were turning and walking slowly back towards the bus. Alaska linked arms with Katya, their movements slow and easy. Trixie stared out into the darkness, letting them walk beyond her gaze. She heard the hiss of the door, their muted footsteps as they climbed onboard. She heard their motions as they passed by her in the dark. She heard a stifled giggle as they awkwardly climbed into Alaska’s bunk. She closed her eyes.

It was a boiling hot summer’s morning, Trixie’s mouth was stuck shut, and her eyes felt like little fireballs. Ugh fuck, Fireball.  For the past twenty minutes she’d been willing herself to get back to sleep, but it wasn’t coming. She was still her in sweats from the night before with the bus heating up pretty fast in the baking morning sun. She needed a shower. Swinging one leg out of the bunk, she suddenly realised she’d slept in her shoes. Great. Mess. She kicked them off and padded quietly into the bathroom, careful not to disturb the other sleeping queens. A glance at her watch showed it to be 7 something AM.  She quickly pulled the door shut and shed her clothes, stepping into the stream of lukewarm water with relief.  What a rough night.  Was it?  She cycled through the events from the evening before as she soaped up. That gas station scene had felt like a dream, but Katya’s absence in her bed was all too real this morning. Maybe this was it. The start of a new comedy partnership. One that didn’t involve her. What kind of stuff would they make? Probably something arty. They’d make fun of high concept fashion ads from the 90s and thrill the New York crowd to death. She could see why it’d be funny, too.  Trixie turned off the water and started towelling off as she began to think about her own performance for the coming evening. Maybe a Dolly Parton song to change things up a little. She still needed to check out that stupid country song book. She stepped into a fresh pair of boxers and pulled a shirt over her head. Clean clothes felt amazing. Stretching felt super good, too - even though the little bathroom was too small to really get a good reach. She stepped out into the aisle and tossed her dirty clothes on top of the full laundry basket, reaching out to steady herself as she swung her body into her bunk and dropped down straight on top of Katya.

“WHAT the fuck?” Trixie rapidly hushed her voice as the little queen giggled, squirming underneath her weight. Above her Violet gave a grumpy moan and kicked a foot out into the alley. “You scared me motherfucker,” Trixie hissed. Katya extracted herself and rolled towards the window, squishing herself up against the cool glass. She rested her head on one hand and struck a jaunty paint-me-like-your-french-girls pose. “Hi mama. Miss me?” “No. Where were you? I thought you were supposed to sleep in here last night.” Katya shrugged. “Was I? I slept in with Alaska. I mean I didn’t really sleep. She takes up all the room. Can we cuddle?” Trixie extended an arm without comment and Katya immediately swung her head up into her neck. It always felt so easy. An arm snaked over her stomach and Katya’s little bony hand tucked itself lightly under her hip. “MMmm.” “Shhh.” Trixie felt her friend sneak a knee over hers, pushing in between her legs.  “Let me in mama. Let me in, I’m not gonna try anything. Promise. I just want to sleep.” “No!” “Please? Are you sure?” “Katya.” “Mmmm. Mmm-mm.” “Katya.” “Mmmmm.” “Fine. But you’re gonna sleep and I’m too awake now. I need music. Do you have any?” Without a word, Katya reached into the pocket of her shorts and yanked out her phone, white earbuds tightly wrapped around it. She plopped it on her friend’s chest and rested her hand just below, fingertips in the dip between Trixie’s ribs. Trixie’s neck tickled as she inhaled happily. “You smell good, mama.” Trixie didn’t reply. With one arm around Katya she was finding it tricky to unwind the headphones, lifting the wires as the phone tumbled over onto her chest. It thwapped Katya’s fingers, the little queen mumbled in protest and moved her hand lower down. Halfway onto Trixie’s stomach. And then a touch lower.  “Katya.” “Mmmmmm.” She shifted her weight and slid her knee fully between Trixie’s legs. Their bare thighs settled tightly together, skin to skin. It might have been her imagination, but for a very brief second Trixie felt a completely unexpected twinge.  Fuck, not now.  “I’m not trying anything.” “You better not.” “Mmm. Night.” A moment passed before she felt the subtle shift of Katya’s body relaxing. She always fell asleep immediately. It had been a relief last summer when they’d stayed together, Katya aggressively hitting on Trixie in an effort to culminate their friendshp. Nothing had happened beyond a similar snuggle close to how they lay now, tangled up in a warm embrace. Attraction is such a spectrum. Trixie was pretty sure Katya wasn’t into her at the moment. But you never knew, she never clung at all. No signals. Her thigh, between my thighs.  Trixie needed a distraction. It was biological, right? A response to stimulation. It’d been a long, long time. She tucked an earbud into her left ear and swiped the phone on. It was locked. Katya was already snoring, and her hand was too awkward to tease a finger onto the home button.  Stuck with your crazy Russian musical soundtrack, or whatever. Or t.A.T.u. Or the background white noise track of a meat packing plant or something, you little weirdo. She pressed play from the lock menu. A surprisingly pretty muted synth track flooded her ears. Far off echoed drums. A slightly tuneless Swedish-sounding voice, breaking from odd melodics to soft whispers, phasing between uncomfortable and really beautiful as the chords shifted. This was so Katya. Nothing was ever straightforward. She looked for the odd in everything.  Everything came together. Trixie turned her head to rest her chin on Katya’s warm forehead, eyes half focused on the gold fields rolling past the window. She felt their bodies together, locked tight. Watched the light play over their skin. Their breathing had subconsciously synced, and she spent a few minutes zoning out into the way their chests rose and fell together. She could see Katya’s heartbeat pulsing along the golden skin on the back of her hand. She thought about their skin contact. Katya and Alaska would never snuggle like us. But if they start working together all the time, it’s pretty much the end of us.  At least.. in a business sense.  She knew she was being ridiculous. But she always leapt to conclusions. It was just her mind. Katya mumbled softly in her sleep, pushing her face a little closer into Trixie’s neck.  At least now, even if only for now, Trixie had her friend’s body wrapped up in her arms. She wondered if there’d ever be an event horizon - a moment where Katya’s phenomenal fame kept growing and she drifted away, just out of reach. Didn’t have time for filming. Couldn’t return calls. Didn’t text back. She’d expected that thought to trigger some kind of business plan in her head. A way to make it work. A plot to keep filming and collaborating on everything that kept their duo going. But instead, Trixie was surprised by how strongly her chest opened up and a wave of intense attachment rushed out, threatening to overwhelm her. Her fingers tightened imperceptibly on Katya’s skin.  Don’t go. She bit her tongue to clamp down on that thought, but feelings were hitting her. Hard. No, something else was hitting her.  She glanced down. The crotch of Katya’s shorts had begun to bulge, pressed lightly against Trixie’s thigh. She glanced at Katya’s eyelids and found them still firmly shut, the queen apparently deep in sleep.  Ugh, shit. What do I do now?  The strength of her recent unspoken realisations were enough to deal with at the moment. She definitely didn’t need any physical complications. She should push Katya off her and demand some space. Wake her up. Reestablish those boundaries.  Except.. The blonde queen had started to grind down slowly against her thigh, and for some reason Trixie couldn’t stop staring at the hardening bulge between her legs. Her heart began to pound. Her body began to respond. She could feel the blood starting an inevitable rush downwards, a familiar tingle growing faster than she’d like.  They’d sort of done this before, one time. An intense snuggle, some slow grinding. Katya called it frottage. Trixie thought that sounded like a kind of cheese. She’d cracked a joke and they’d broken it off, Katya rolling quickly off the couch to go find a cigarette. That was before David, before Palm Springs, when they’d had to shut anything like that down due to the budding new relationship. Trixie would be lying if she hadn’t briefly wondered about what would’ve happened in its place. What might have happened one of those vacation nights, maybe after their naked photoshoot.  But that was then, and this was now, and honestly she was starting to lose focus on anything but the now-visible outline of Katya’s erection through her pants.  “Katya,” she whispered. This wasn’t going to happen while anyone was asleep. She felt the queen’s eyelids open sleepily.  “Mm?” This is it. Do or die.  ..Fuck it.

“Come here.” Heart pounding, she took Katya’s hand from her chest and moved it slowly downwards, inch by inch, until Katya’s fingers were just about to brush the rise of her swollen boxers. She lifted her hand away and held her breath as the blonde queen paused for a moment.  And then, without comment, Katya dropped her fingertips lightly onto the shaft of her hard dick. As jolts of electricity pounded through Trixie’s body, Katya began to trace the outline of her erection, moving slowly with two probing fingers before sliding her whole hand over and around her girth, glancing up to meet Trixie’s eyes. “You were right, mama.” “What?” Trixie whispered, caught off-guard. “About the size. I didn’t believe you. You’re big.” “I tol-” Trixie’s breath caught suddenly in her throat as Katya tightened her grip. She began to squeeze with a little more pressure, grinding herself harder against Trixie’s leg.  “You’re too big for me. But maybe I’m right for you.” Trixie felt Katya’s free hand slide down to her hip, pulling her insistently onto her side to face her. She felt her fingers begin to tug her boxers down, the other hand still slowly moving up and down her dick with the kind of pressure that felt unbelievable through the material. It was too much. And then she was free, and Katya’s fingers were sliding around her shaft, and Katya was pushing her own pants down with a quick movement from her spare hand.  “Touch me,” she whispered, bring her lips up to Trixie’s. The skin was barely grazing, and Katya kept it that way. Trixie could smell her. Could almost taste her. Her lips started to ache, anticipating their kiss. Katya read her mind, and reached out for her hand. “Touch me first.” Trixie complied, letting Katya guide her down to her dick. She felt the warm skin touch her fingertips, and before she had a moment to think she’d already wrapped her hand around the girth of it, eliciting a tiny moan from Katya. They began to pump each other slowly, the hot breath between their lips mingling as they tried to stay silent. Trixie could feel herself melting into the sensation, her eyes closing in the warm sun, disappearing completely into the way her heart wrapped about Katya’s touch. She leaned forward to break the desperate tension but Katya leaned back, just out of reach. “Not yet.” “Katya? Where’s Katya?” Shit. Frank. Fuck.  Trixie opened her eyes to meet Katya’s blue-eyed surprise.  “Oh shit.” Trixie quickly scooted over to the bunk curtain, tugging her boxers up with one hand and pulling her shirt down with the other. She had no idea why she felt so guilty, but the way Katya was grinning made her jump all over. Now she could see Frank, barefoot and sleepy-eyed, some papers in his hands. “She’s here. What’s up?” “She has to sign these insurance forms. I should’ve had her do it last night but I need her to do it now before we cross state lines.” “I’m coming.” Katya finished buttoning up her shorts and propped herself up on one elbow. “I’ll be there in a sec.” “I’m leaving them on the table.” Trixie glanced over and watched as her newfound crush checked her pockets for her cigarettes. She finally found the crushed pack and teased one out, sliding it between her lips with a little smile. “Hey, do you know I bought those for you?” Trixie whispered. Katya flashed her a look of surprise. “Well.. I paid for them.” Made sense. Katya pulled the cigarette from her mouth and leaned in towards her.  “Do you want a small kiss, mama?” Fuck yes. But maybe..  “Tonight.” Gotta maintain some boundaries. A flash of a grin, the tiniest linger of her hand against Trixie’s chest as she clambered over her, and Katya was gone.  Trixie knew she wouldn’t be back. It wasn’t her style. But they had one more night to figure it out.

It was the second longest leg of the journey, a boiling hot summer’s morning, and Trixie was writing a song.

Apart from going on a number of planned walks throughout 2016, towards the end of the year I managed to head on a number of more random jaunts out into a variety of places.  Though the reel of photos I took has come back mixed in terms of quality, the walks were still interesting enough for me to want to write about them.  Three in particular stood out and are detailed below.

Down The Lea Valley with Gary Budden

On the wettest day I had encountered since moving to London, I agreed to go on a walk with the writer, Gary Budden.  Knowing East London well, he wanted to show me the many interesting things found in the Lea Valley and the landscape around London’s more subtle river.  Unwisely dressed, I made my way to Tottenham Hale station, not far from where Gary’s publishing house office is at Influx Press.  Getting off at the station and meeting him, I think the weather generally took us both by surprise with how consistently wet it was.  We made our way through the puddles and under a bridge to the Lea tow path, avenued by warm looking canal boats.  Though there would be obvious difficulties during the winter months living on such a boat, I still haven’t shaken off the feeling that I would quite like to live in such a way at some point during the next few years.  We spotted Cormorants on the old iron work as we walked further down the route, finding many old remnants of an industrial past, and eventually coming to Springfield Park; a place I hadn’t been in since February when filming my Harold Pinter short in the park’s bandstand.

We wandered back onto the river’s path, the conversation veering between Robert Aickman and fascism as the pathway through Hackney became more and more wooded.  We eventually found ourselves on the Hackney football pitches with the high-rise buildings of our destination, Stratford, lurking in the distance.  I lose track in my mind whereabouts the filter marshes and the “Hackney Henge” were on our travels but they were visited too; places emptied by the weather but, with the huge increase in trendy pubs and bars along the path, undoubtedly busy in summer.  Walking through another huge forest (littered with evidence of occult ceremonies) and under a daunting motor-bridge, we followed the path back along the Lea; bordered by more narrow-boats but also an increasingly antiseptic array of buildings and restaurants on show the nearer we got to Stratford and to the Olympic Park.

Eventually, after getting lost around the horrific maze of concrete that Stratford has been turned into, we ended our walk in the surreal Timber coffee bar in the Queen Elizabeth Park.  This is where my last walk in the area (with John Rogers) began and it felt a fitting if surreal end; the bar is a timber lodge, adjoined by a crèche with expensive (albeit lovely) coffee, playing early noughties jazz fusion loudly on the speakers.  Gary and I agreed to continue the Lea walk at a later date, planning to follow the river all of the way down from here right to the Lea Mouth as it enters the Thames.

A visit to Harold and James (Kensal Green)

One of the things I learned from my walk with Gary was that two of my favourite writers, Harold Pinter and J.G. Ballard, are buried within almost touching distance in the same graveyard: Kensal Green Cemetery. Having banned myself from the tube in order to try and save money, I opted to walk from Victoria to Kensal Green in order to visit their graves.  It was a long walk, partly elongated by the sheer number of people out and about that day.  It was a few weeks before Christmas and Hyde Park had been turned into a nightmare by the winter wonderland showcase; hoards of people queued to enter this horror-filled realm of candy-floss and amusement arcades.  I wandered as quickly as possible through the park, eventually finding my way into Notting Hill.  Having walked this area extensively for a while now, I opted to change my route and avoid Portobello Road for the time being.  Instead I found Ladbroke Grove Road and walked all of the way along until the people died away and the graveyard came into sight.

There was another reason for visiting this cemetery; it’s where the graveyard sequences for the film version of John Osborne’s Look Back In Anger (1959) are filmed by Tony Richardson.  I imagined Richard Burton laying flowers on a grave, the gasworks and canal just in view (though still in use when the film was shot).  It took an age to find Pinter’s and Ballard’s graves as I had neglected to research fully whereabouts they were in the relatively large area of tombs.  By sheer chance, I spotted Ballard and subsequently Pinter, sharing a few brief words with them and clearing the dead leaves off the latter’s grave.  His is a horizontal stone on the ground rather than a standing grave and clearly accumulates debris with ease.  I imagined the conversations that took place here at night, debating language, London and sex.  Making my way back, I wanted to find another film location that had recently been a regular in my viewing and swerved back into Notting Hill for proper.

On Ladbroke Grove Road, I had spotted Ernő Goldfinger’s famous brutalist tower, recognising the streets as a haven for black power activism in the 1970s, showcased in films such as Pressure (1975) and Burning An Illusion (1981).  I wandered into the now heavily gentrified area and was enamoured with the building.  I’ve always had a soft spot for this area, its market (in spite of its tourist image) very much retaining that older, idiosyncratic character of London, full of hermits, collectors and knock-off sellers.  One of my favourite stops on the road is the Vinyl Cafe; a regular haunt since my teens.  I escaped the bustling market crowds and sat in the window, half reading Moby Dick. 

I remember a girl catching my eye and beaming an impossibly happy smile towards me as my view lifted momentarily from my book.  It took me by surprise and warmed the winter afternoon to an astonishingly embarrassing degree; had I really not experienced such a simple form of empathy in so long?  I later told my friend how happy this moment had made me and she was pleasantly intrigued as to how a smile from someone attractive had the power to augment a day and mood.  It was perfectly regular and normal to her.  I felt oddly alien and remembered how isolated my work life had made me during these last few months, albeit in vain.

A Hill

I went back up north for my father’s birthday (a month in advance) in November.  I was equally up there to look after Falstaff, the cat that lives with my mother, but managed to find time to go on a short excursion to North Wales.  In the town of Llangollen, a place I’ve visited more times than probably any other in the whole the United Kingdom (for a reason too embarrassing to convey here), a hill overlooks the town and has been a constant in my life.  At the top of this hill, apart from excellent views out onto the valley beyond, lies a beautiful ruin of a fort.  It’s rather like Weathertop from Lord Of The Rings though Llangollen is distinctly lacking in Nazgul.  The day was windy and so we made our way up quickly, along the muddy path and up the steep incline of the hill.  It’s rare to find this hill deserted and we met a variety of walkers on their various ways up and down.

On getting to the top, the breeze was making our cagoules produce a white noise effect, such was the constant rustling that it caused to the fabric.  I wandered over to a particularly favourite part of the ruin to take in the view while my dad experimented with a lens on his camera.  This view had meant a great deal to me when younger, even going so far as to carry a copy of it around school, peeking at it in between lessons as an escape.  It became so crumpled in my pocket that the view virtually disintegrated but I remember the almost magical feeling of carrying such a landscape around inside my school blazer.  We made our way back down the hill, trying not to slip over on the crumbling stone pathway at the hill’s top-most part.  I wondered if Llangollen would one day be a ruin, visited in the same way by eager walkers on winter days; in some future emergency, when the banks of the river, already raging as was clear from the view from The Corn Mill that day, burst their banks and swept away the car parks and shops.  There was a dipper bobbing up and down on one of the rocks near the restaurant, happy to be alive as it foraged for food around its own rocky island in the middle of the river.

Adam

Dérives: Odds and Ends Apart from going on a number of planned walks throughout 2016, towards the end of the year I managed to head on a number of more random jaunts out into a variety of places. 

How to Collaborate Right · Robert Gordon

How to Collaborate Right · Robert Gordon

Small Business

Fiona Killackey

Robert Gordon’s recent Feast Bakeware collection, in a shoot by The Design Files. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Robert Gordon creates more than 150,000 individual products per year across tableware, kitchenware and other ceramic homeware. Photo – Eve Wilson.

The iconic Australian ceramics brandnd boasts more than 3,000 stockists across the globe. Photo – Eve Wilson.

The Gordon family, of Robert Gordon Australia. Left to right: Kate Gordon, Sam Gordon, Robert Gordon, Barbara Gordon, Bobby Gordon and Hannah Gordon. Production – Lucy Feagins, photo – Sean Fennessy for The Design Files.The Gordons. Photo – Sean Fennessy.

Feast Bakeware by Robert Gordon Australia. Photo – Eve Wilson.

The brand has some new exciting projects in-the-works, and architects are likely to love it! Photo – Eve Wilson.

The wonderful Amy Poehler once suggested, ‘As you navigate through your life, be open to collaboration. Other people and other people’s ideas are often better than your own.’ While she may not have been directing these thoughts at small business, it’s perhaps the greatest sector in which we’re witnessing collaborations come to life. From product design through to in-store fit-outs, event marketing through to Facebook Lives, collaboration has become a part of many brands’ business-as-usual marketing.

‘We’ve always dabbled with collaborations,’ starts Kate Gordon, Head of Design at Robert Gordon Australia – the iconic Aussie ceramics brand that creates more than 150,000 individual products per year across tableware, kitchenware and other ceramics, and boasts more than 3,000 stockists across the globe. Created by Kate’s parents, Robert and Barbara, in a tin shed in their Gembrook backyard in 1979, the ceramics brand quickly expanded from selling at market stalls through to its purpose-built headquarters in Pakenham (where they remain today).

For Robert Gordon, collaboration part of the business since the 1990s.  ‘In the early 90s Mum and Dad collaborated on work with a famous English ceramic designer, Robert Turner, and we also worked with Christopher Vine during the 90s’ Kate says.

Overall though, Robert Gordon are very selective with the collaborations they commit to. Part of the reason for this, Kate says, is financial. ‘For our brand, it works best that we limit the number of collaborations that we do – one or two a year, max. Ceramics is a costly venture. To even make a new shape, using our production methods, can start at a cost of around $5,000. That’s just the moulding fees.’ Not surprisingly, Kate and the family run business – which employs more than 30 local people at its Pakenham premises – need to ‘tread carefully into each collaboration. We don’t take them lightly.’

As one of the country’s most recognised and respected brands, the brand is regularly invited to collaborate. But given the resources involved, what do they look for when assessing each invitation? ‘For us, there are many reasons for doing a collaboration’ says Kate, ‘The choice depends on whether or not that person or brand fills a particular need for our business at the time.’ Kate suggests sometimes it’s about the marketing opportunity that is presented, touting their recent collaboration with Gourmet Traveller as an example. Other times, it’s about the brand being able to create items not currently within their standard collections. ‘The recent Little Louli collaboration filled a gap that we are missing in our story, which is a fun kids product’.

Then, sometimes, admits Kate, there are collaborations that just feel like ‘an absolute gift’. Discussing their collaborations with The Design Files, Kate says: ‘Creating collaborations with Lucy for The Design Files has opened so many doors for us, and has meant that we have more brand recognition. Her collaborations and the products she designs are so unique that they also help showcase our capabilities’. Adding to this, says Kate, is the fact Lucy ‘comes with a very clear sense of what she wants and is also incredibly respectful of the process – in particular, the cost involved in making in Australia.’

Regardless of whom they collaborate with, Kate says the team is always looking to increase brand recognition. ‘Sometimes you can note tangible things like a jump in numbers to the website after a collaboration, but what you really want is more brand recognition — more calls about custom jobs, more people visiting our factory and even interest from larger clients who may not have previously known about us. The world is so small now that sometimes a collaboration can gain international attention for us, which is fantastic.’

For those brands considering collaborating, Kate suggests you make sure you ‘respect your brand – ask yourself, does the collaboration work in favour of that’.  Also, beware of costs blowing out, ‘Honestly, not all collaborations work. They can be super costly and when there are too many people involved or too many “mouths to feed” (as Dad would say!) it’s hard to justify’.

Overall, says Kate, collaborations have helped the business when they are considered and in line with the vision for Robert Gordon Australia – a vision she says is an exciting one. ‘The past five years have seen us consolidate our manufacturing plant in Pakenham. We have also moved our imported product to a managed warehouse so that our Pakenham business is now only focused on producing pottery — largely for the hospitality market. We have also updated our Factory Outlet and are currently opening a restaurant on the premises. Our markets have shifted. Designs have changed and we are more than excited about the future.’ Finally says Kate, ‘we are working on something beyond exciting at the moment! It’s still in the early stages, but all we can say is architects in Australia will be very happy!’

Shop Robert Gordon Australia online or visit the Robert Gordon Factory Outlet at 114 Mulcahy Road, in Pakenham Victoria.

Photo – Eve Wilson.

TIPS FOR BIZ COLLABORATION

 1. Do Your Research

Set up Google Alerts (https://www.google.com.au/alerts) for the brand or person you wish to collaborate with prior to connecting, to ensure you’re across the key messages they’re putting out and the reputation they carry across social, news media and blogs. Check any brand or relevant hashtags and review “photos of” the brand or person on social to get an idea of who their audience is. Also, check which other brands, if any, they have collaborated with and what the outcomes were. If someone has contacted you, don’t be afraid to ask for this info before you get into any serious conversations.

2. Crossover on Curiosity

Team up with brands whose audience is curious about the same things as your audience. Say, you’re a ceramicist and you wish to join forces with a boutique hotel. Your audiences may share an interest in travel, interior styling, design, and aesthetics. Or, you could be an activewear company in which case one of your target audiences may be new Mums. A great collaboration option could be with a maternity bras company given the definite crossover in your audience. While it’s tempting to accept the first offer to collaborate that comes along, take the time to ensure it’s the right fit for your brand.

3. Set Clear Objectives

What do you want from this collaboration? Are you clear on your answer? Is it more sales, increased brand awareness or the ability to leverage another’s networks? Ensure you discuss your objectives with your collaboration partner well before you commence any activity. Any partnership should provide equal opportunities and growth for both businesses. This may include remuneration, promotion channels, hours worked and press opportunities.

4. Assume Nothing

It’s all too easy when you’re collaborating to get caught up in the ‘fun’ parts of the project. The biggest risk to a successful collaboration is assuming the other party thinks, works or acts like you. After setting clear objectives about what you both want from this collaboration, the next step is to nut out a plan including who is responsible for what and a detailed timeline for key activity. For example, if you’re running a launch event who will be in charge of RSVP management or paying the indemnity insurance for the venue? It’s the small things like this that can add up to giant headaches and cause friction between collaborating brands.

5. Review & Revise

Regardless of the duration of the collaboration, make sure you have dedicated “check-in” dates where you analyse and (if necessary) improve things to ensure your agreed-upon objectives happen. This may include adjusting ad spend, or website copy or removing offline elements from the overall campaign due to time or financial constraints. It’s essential you also have a post-activity review to determine what did/didn’t work and make any adjustments for future collaborations.

Fiona Killackey is a business consultant and the founder of My Daily Business Coach, a consultancy that provides information and education for starting and growing a creative small business.

Need help with your Marketing? Fiona is running a full-day workshop on Marketing for Your Small Business Sunday 15th April at Oak & Monkey Puzzle in Daylesford. Buy the last remaining tickets here.

Foreign to Familiar: How to “Language Proof” Your Immediate Environment

Sometimes, when you’re surrounded by a new language it can overwhelm your capacity to pick up new things. It’s almost too much newness, and you just draw a line. Everything from the toothpaste to the billboards to the TV is filled by the unrecognizable. You end up looking at words and noting that you’ve seen them before but still not bothering to figure out what they mean. These ignored words remain foreign – and blocking your eyes and ears in this way means you’ll never become fluent. If you continue this way, you run the risk of ending up with what we’ll call language fatigue. What can you do about it? The obvious solution: make the foreign familiar and do it as ‘soon as you land’.

What Causes Language Fatigue?

So many people live overseas, are effectively “immersed” in the local language, yet they can only speak a handful of words. How does this happen? Learning a new language is as much about mindset as anything else. If you fall into the trap of language fatigue, you hone a mindset that’s resistant to learning. And the more of a beginner you are, the more you’re likely to feel overwhelmed by how much you don’t know. Beginners are most likely to suffer with this kind of ‘language resistance’, which is why it can be so tricky to break through the beginner bubble. You have to be wilful about taking on the challenge of a new language. When trying to learn a new language by immersion, it’s easy to underestimate yourself and think “I’m just a beginner.” This defence makes you okay with not knowing certain things. However, if you don’t move past this mindset, you will always be a beginner, an outsider. The same thing can happen for intermediate learners too… though it’s easier for them to make a breakthrough as more things are familiar. Wherever you’re at, if you put it just a bit of effort it’s surprising how looking close to how can make a huge difference in making the foreign familiar.

Step 1: Decide to Break the Loop

The moment you get stuck in the habit of blocking out what’s around you you stand to fail at your language learning goals. If you are blocking, it’s time to dive back in. If you’ve just arrived in a country with a new language, start to soak up the written words around you now.

Step 2: Start Language Proofing in Manageable Doses

It’s obvious you can’t learn everything at once, so you have to be both clever and patient. This means starting with manageable doses of new words. Ideally, these should be words you see every day. You want to work close to home. That’s the key trick in gaining familiarity in a new place. In fact, start in your dwelling first. You want to focus on words you see often. I call this process language proofing. Perhaps there are mystery words on something in your house? Food packages you buy? Or a sign near your front door you pass frequently? Stop walking past. Translate them, whether by yourself or by asking a native speaker. It’s easy enough to start: Take 30 minutes and log everything in your house and the immediate environment around your home. For example, if you live in an apartment building, this might be looking at the words on the elevator or the communal mailboxes or the instructions for using the laundry room. No matter how rare they are in “everyday” use, the fact is that you see these words every day and you should know what they mean. It won’t take long to figure them out and you’ll have taken a big step in your mission of turning foreign into familiar. Language proofing your environment in this way has a couple of effects. First, it builds your confidence. As you language proof your environment, you’ll start to recognise every word you see in your day-to-day life. If you routinely walk past unknown words it keeps your brain set on ‘outsider mode’. Language proofing switches your mind to ‘insider’. It’s a huge mindset shift. And you’ll realise that you can learn a language! Second, you are actively telling your brain you are ready and willing to absorb the language you see. It opens your mind to taking up yet more words by reinforcing a sense of linguistic familiarity. Doing this language reconnaissance, as early as possible after you arrive in a new country, will have a huge pay off. When you walk out your door, you’ll understand all the words you pass as they’ll all be in your recognition vocabulary. This will give you a notion of fluency in your target language, even if it’s just ‘around home’. When you’re new to a language, any fluency counts big time. What you are building is your recognition vocabulary and it’s a key part of accepting a language as your own.

Step 3: Get Your Camera Out and Go on a Word Hunt!

You’ve got yourself into the language proofer’s mindset, and you’ve language proofed your immediate environment. Now stay on your word hunt! Keep seeking out new words. My favourite way of doing this is with my camera as it lets me refer back to these words and track my progress. Scour your surroundings and take photos of all the words you encounter. You can translate the words in your images using your smartphone and Google Translate. Google Translate will store your translations so you can export them to a word log or flashcard deck. Alternatively, as you hunt down words, have your dictionary on hand. Even better, walk your route with a native speaker who’s willing to help you.

Step 4: Learn from Context

The best part of building a recognition vocabulary is that it’s often highly contextual. It’s context that builds familiarity, along with use. What’s more, context can help you work out the meaning of new words for yourself. This is what helps the words stick in your memory. Can you read the sign in this image: This sign is found on the door of a room in the basement of an apartment building in Sweden. You probably have a guess from the form of the words you see, but especially from the pictures and when you open the door you see it’s a storage room for people’s bikes. Plus the adjoining room has all the recycling bins and trash dumpster. You can probably easily guess that the top word has to do with trash and the second with bikes. Since it’s Swedish, a Germanic language like English with lots of similar words, you might guess correctly that rum is “room”. Sopor is “garbage” in Swedish, so soprum is the “trash room”. Cykel is “bike”, so cykelrum is the “bike room”. Once you know the meaning, you’ll look at the sign differently. Every time you enter this room to get your bike or sort the recycling you are reactivating your Swedish vocabulary. At risk of labouring the point: There’s no excuse for not learning the meaning of this sign if you are going to pass through this door on a regular basis. Do this for all the words in your vicinity.

Step 5: Look Out for Online Ads

Another space you can language proof is social media and the internet, by translating ads as they appear. For example the sponsored ads in your Facebook newsfeed. Consumerism is not the point here! Rather, see it as an opportunity to create another safe space of language familiarity. At first, it will seem easy to ignore ads. We’ve all trained ourselves to do this. So untrain yourself. Stop for a moment when you first log onto social media to take in those “pesky” ads. Ads are actually great for language learning. They’re short and sweet, contain lots of repetition, and feature real life things that are helpful for you to know. Whether it’s shoes, food, or dating, this is a core working vocabulary for functioning in the world. Facebook will even translate the text for you, and while you have to take these translations with a (big) pinch of salt, you’ll certainly get the gist and learn new words. Plus if you copy ads into the Google Translate app on your smartphone, you can ‘star’ any of them you want to come back to. This builds up a running list of memorable words ready to review any time. Increasingly, you’ll build an ad-recognition vocabulary. You’ll be reading ads all around you as you would in your native language. It’s a great feeling when you can decipher many of these without any help. As with signs, ads contain contextual clues that aid in understanding them. Sometimes you’ll learn vocabulary from the picture. Other times, you might be able to make out the words because you’ve already seen the exact same ad in English. Ads are also particularly easy because we know innately what ‘ad language’ looks and sounds like. They are trying to compel you to buy something. When you know the focus of a passage of text from the outset, it’s far easier to hone in on the meaning. Look at these two ads: You can probably guess from the first ad that klackar are “heels”. This “guessing” is how we naturally learn our native language, through context. No one explains what a cat or dog is to us when we are small. They just point to one and say the word and we figure it out. Reading ads is also good for judging how different the word order and usage of verbs and other parts of language are from English. The literal translation of this ad is: “4 tips for to get style with heels”. Notice the word order “for to get”, which is very Swedish. In addition to seeing images that you can match to words, you might even have seen the ad in English before and therefore it’s perfect for reading in your target language. The second ad is running in English and Swedish and literally means: “This here App can teach you a language in only 3 weeks”. Notice the ‘this here’, which is very Swedish. Again, somewhat different in structure than English.

Step 6: Rigorously Apply the Twice Seen Rule

In time, you can increase the size of your language-proofed zone, going beyond your immediate environment to your wider world. This builds an ever-growing corridor of familiarity - the places you can go where you understand the words that are all around you. If you ride the tram every day, take pictures and translate all the words you see on the ticket machine. If you often eat at the same restaurant, take a photo of the menu, then translate it when you’re back at home -- or ask the wait staff for help. It’s a great conversation starter, and you’ll feel more like a local the next time you are there. But how do you know which words to language proof next? If it’s in your path, snap it and learn it. In general, the trick is to live by the ‘twice seen’ rule: if you’ve seen a word twice, you’ll be sure it see it many more times. Learn it.

Step 7: Become a Language Proofing Pro

What are the big draws for visiting or living in a foreign place? For many people, these are novelty, fresh perspectives and the chance to learn. The problem: too much ‘foreignness’ can get in the way of learning. You can end up blocking the ‘foreign’ out because you can’t make sense of it. That’s why it’s important to keep language proofing your environment. You have a lot to gain by doing so, especially once you start reading the ads around you. Here the vocabulary starts to overlap with keywords you’ll want to use in conversation as well. Also, remember that in language proofing your environment, you’re building your recognition vocabulary rather than your active vocabulary. Remember that recognition vocabulary is just that – recognition only. It goes to building familiarity, and minimizing the ‘foreign’ trigger that reduces your motivation to absorb new words. Later, you can start working on embedding your language proofed words into your speech.

Your Turn: Share your Experiences of Language Proofing

Being familiar with the language of your surroundings will help you fit right in, just like you do at home. That’s why I recommend that you learn the words you encounter frequently. Once you do, and see them again and again as a natural part of your day, you are well on your way to making the foreign familiar. What techniques have you used to language proof your environment? Let me know in the comments.

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