#not having seen it in months
Text
shout out to when i told my dad about goncharov and he figured out it was fake because i told him "1973 martin scorsese film with robert de niro" and he said that wasn't possible because the godfather came out in 1972 and the godfather part II came out in 1974 and they wouldn't have had time to make a movie in between. a perfectly good jest, foiled by this man's weird and vast knowledge set
#edit i remembered this incorrectly#i confused robert de niro with al pacino he was actually what tipped my dad off#i'll be honest i've never seen the godfather? the only mafia movies i've watched are goodfellas and 1996 lesbian masterpiece bound#so i'm not really familiar with the genre lol#EDIT AGAIN IF ANYONE CARES: I HAVE SEEN GODFATHER PART I AND II NOW. I KNOW HOW WRONG I WAS. WHY DID THIS GO UP 500 NOTES IT'S BEEN MONTHS#goncharov#goncharov 1973#eddie genius posting
20K notes
·
View notes
Text
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
Not a day goes by where I do not think about the advent of medicine like PrEP and wonder just what the people - especially queer people - who passed from HIV/AIDs during the AIDs crisis would think
And then, I read this survivor's testimony and it just makes me emotional. I think this is the closest answer we have. HIV has changed, and we must always remember the people who didn't see that change before it happened.
#gay#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#described images#image description in alt#i do try to learn from older queer people about this tome period because i wasn't around for it#but i always wondered what the people who didn't make it would have thought of where we are now#there's this weird grief and celebration because i am so glad we are where we are. i just wish everybody cpuld have seen this#this is why it's so important to learn from each other about everything#it takes a village to create community#i have been thinking about that twitter post at LEAST once a month since i first saw it#very complex feelings on this one folks#there is so much left to learn i think but this just hits me in a specific way
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
baby, bi bi bi
#911#911edit#evan buckley#buddie#this has been in my drafts for months bc i'm the slowest gif maker in the world and bad at finishing things (wanted to get it done before#s7 oops) but it's even more apt now ig even though i've seen like 6 other versions of it out there already. oh well here's mine#(and bonus i got to include those last two gifs so it worked out)#sorry again that the lone star one is such shit quality i literally can't find a hq version of that episode idk what to tell you#there are things missing from this but i just wanna post it before next episode and i need to go to bed i have to work tomorrow bye (bi bi)#beets.gif
799 notes
·
View notes
Text
ad astra abyssosque
#OPEN THE DOOR. STOP ... HAVING IT BE CLOSED.#this is about genshin#genshin impact#genshin fanart#traveller#celestia#i only ever play at night i havent seen the daytime Start Game Screen for months#weiwei art#fanart#gi traveler#once again i merge all my layers too early and then regret it
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.
can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.
but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!
it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.
it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.
#disability#disability pride month#chronic fatigue#fibromyalgia#cfs/me#post exertional malaise#like fucking hell people we should really be long past this by now#why am I seeing these bullshit jokes on my dash in twenty fucking twenty three#i did a short walk to a cafe yesterday because I thought I was up to it#and my right leg has seized up#my ankle can barely take my weight and my hip won't move properly#also lol I almost certainly have hEDS but cannot persuade a doctor to give me a referral#in summary#stop being fucking dense#i would rather people who don't need mobility aids use them than have people struggle because they don't want to be seen as a faker#or have people think that you have to reach a certain level of severity before you need it#also if I had a wheelchair I would bring my cat with me more places but that's by the by
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Early April photo dump 📸 More picnics, regency dance classes and some rainy walks. Everything is blooming these days!
#nips photos#personal#have you seen my husband well now you have look at him I love him#so I have this sweater in three colors and it's all I've been wearing for the past two months please ignore
431 notes
·
View notes
Text
#let having fun together right now i am ready i don't play game okay#hook me up over#I know all seen her before butt not like this just look at that pussy#baby happy now month baby
441 notes
·
View notes
Text
Aug 8, 2023
#I was super excited about this. I found two right around the same area on the same day.#I knew we had leopard slugs because I had seen what I thought might have been a dead one a month before.#But the two I saw on this day were the first live ones I ever saw. They are so gorgeous! And so big!
631 notes
·
View notes
Text
you want a new kind of guy, fine, i raise you: the lady i was briefly roommates with in college who once smoked a blunt at a party and then spent an hour confessing earnestly to me that she genuinely preferred reading detailed episode recaps over actually watching the tv show in question
#she sounded so remorseful & i just stood staring like an anthropologist watching their phd thesis spontaneously manifest before their eyes#apparently she would watch the pilot episode to get a feel for the characters#and then just read a bunch of recaps & episode reviews instead of watching future episodes. what fresh steaming hell#this conversation took place like a year and a half after we were roommates btw. i had seen her maybe twice in that time period#i thought she was a standard frat girl but then 18 months later she appears in the wild grass to reveal unhinged character background to me#and i'm just standing there nodding feeling like i missed a weird opportunity i did not want or ask for#honestly thought i was the weirdest person in that apartment situation but now i'm wondering what our other 2 roommates were hiding#not my strangest college experience at ALL but like. definitely top 20#this wasn't the same person as Aquarium Girl btw but oddly enough they were roommates actually#(not at the same time that Recaps Lady and i were roommates but at different intervals idk)#anyway i probably should have interviewed at more than one apartment before taking over a sublease but summer sess is a weird time u know#oh and this happened in Hong Kong btw
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
#house md#hilson#i have literally read more fanfiction of house than i've seen actual episodes#the doctor parts just arent as much fun as the old man yaoi parts D:#also 8 seasons is intimidating#coming from me who got through 11 seasons of supernatual in like 3 or 4 months...#and then decided to REWATCH IT FROM SCRATCH so my bf at the time could watch with me#crazy times#anyway#my art ☆
630 notes
·
View notes
Text
"See you tomorrow"
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]
#better drawn mdzs#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#mdzs au#Lan wangji#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art#Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now#Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time#You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.
768 notes
·
View notes
Text
damn what if we were both women and we were each other’s foil wouldn’t that be crazy
#overwatch#moicy#mercy overwatch#angela ziegler#moira o'deorain#moira overwatch#i only started playing overwatch a month and a half ago and these two have me sick in the head#that’s a character foil duo if i’ve ever seen one#the matching sprays? how could you do this to me#anyway#my art
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Looking at each other with their autistic eldritch horrors eyes
#spooky month#overthinking their cyan eyes despite the fact that they never addressed it#might make another post about them#because i have a thing for a crazy uncle coded adult relating and maybe worrying over a child/teen who has also seen The Horrors#but is TOTALLY not affected by them whaaaat noooo im normal you're the weirdo amirite#spooky month pump#spooky month bob#bob velseb#also no i don't think pump is part of the cult nor that bob is related to moloch is just their go to assumption#bob velsen#bob velseb fanart#i really really like pump i want to give him a full sized Snickers bar#spooky month fanart#I realize i should have an art tag so#my art
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
here comes the boy ~ hello boy ✨
cleaned up a couple of the vash doodles i did while learning to draw him :)
#trigun#trigun 98#vash the stampede#anime#doodles#art#dat me#my friend phoenix was visiting from portland almost the whole last week it was really fun !!! i did not open PS for a week FJHBGDBHJDFG#how do i draw again... what is a tablet.... i forgor .....#i have seen TWO trigun fans in public this weekend. a guy at the bookstore with a vash pin on his lanyard + someone at the local arcade#who had a PUNISHER ITA BAG ??? COOL AF??? the arcade was also full of furries for some reason. which was cool but i've never seen it before#girl the arcade is hot enough as it is if you're wearing a fursuit in an arcade you are braver than any us marine#I WAS SO SAD I LEFT MY PURSE (ALSO AN ITA BAG) IN THE CAR FOR THE ARCADE BECAUSE I HAVE A VASH PIN IN IT .....#please ask me about my ita bags... please ask me about my pins.... i am insane about my pins......#my brother and i are going to indie pop con in 2 weeks if i dont find some cute trigun 98 stuff i will riot#i am relentlessly vashposting on main. i will draw other characters i swear but he is my favorite#any character where i go 'there is something so so so wrong with him' is my favorite EVERY TIME#im just happy to be drawing again honestly#i got about a month before anime central so i am just trying . to VIBE. for the first time in months
305 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy disability pride to everyone whose disability makes it hard/impossible for them to leave the house.
Happy disability pride to everyone who WANTS to do something they love, but can't because of their disability.
Happy disability pride to everyone who has ever been ignored, side-eyed or scoffed at (or otherwise judged) for being themselves in public.
Happy disability pride to people in constant pain, that doesn't end or break.
Happy disability pride to people who can't/don't want an official diagnosis because it would fuck up their lives, but they need the accommodations anyway.
Happy disability pride to people who did get/have gotten/had to get a diagnosis, because they needed what came from it.
Happy disability pride to the under-represented disabilities that people don't talk about much, or that get ignored both online and IRL.
Happy disability pride to those whose disabilities get represented in ways that do not match your experience at all.
Happy disability pride to the physically and mentally disabled people who are reading this. If you are one, the other, or (more often) both, you are still a valid person who faces discrimination and hardship from ableists, and we must all band together to vouch for our rights- ALL of our rights.
Happy disability pride to all of you, I love you all, and may we get through this month, and all the rest, together.
#disability pride month#disability pride#actually disabled#I have both:#chronic pain#cane user#and also:#actually autistic#(I wanted those tags to come up so I formatted it weird. sorry)#I hope this reaches you#and makes you feel seen and loved and happy#at least a little bit#to me you are all my siblings and we need to ALL stand together to survive
1K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
dhirnicorpiolita
Dhirni Corpiolita A.
stuffblackpinks
블랙핑크
standalldempsey
zalex college endgame am i right
wastelandhellzone-blog
Companion Junk
akhil123-things
Untitled