Once again thinking about Wesper, who found each other against all odds, who were not love at first sight - attraction, sure, but not love - and learned to love all the little things that make up the other.

Wesper, who found each other somehow at the right time, and who are not just "Oh, they balance our each other's weaknesses", cause they do not. Jesper is not a great reader. He doesn't love to read, reading was not really something he did a lot. But he loves to read for Wylan. And Wylan is not an expert on gambling problems, he is not naturally calm and quiet - but he can be for Jesper.

For me, they are not two halves of a greater whole. They are a pair of unmatching socks that still work together.

Their relationship is not perfect, and certainly not easy, but I love wesper because they give me a feeling of "they can make it work, and they want to make it work."

And that makes me happy, that's why I love wesper.

On Darkling's death in Ruin and Rising

How long does whole TGT last? A year? Two?

It starts with the Darkling desperate, Ravka in shambles, position of Grisha unsustainable. Why else would he put all his money on a girl he barely knows? A girl, who's never interested in anything around her. A girl, who's more than willing to jump ship as soon as an opportunity arises?!

He gambles, miscalculates, survives certain death by ripping away parts of his being, is betrayed again (and again)... Takes the position he needs to be able to direct his people out of the shitstorm they're in, all the while being generally distrusted or outright hated.

He's losing supporters left and right. Death, desertion, stupid fucking religious cult of Effortless Saint... His abusive mother- his sole lifelong companion (she made sure of that)- commits pretty performative suicide right in front of him. The final fuck you, the very last wound she could inflict.

He cracks again and again, always keeps going.

But in the Fold? Centuries of planning, loss, suffering and it's all been for NOTHING. His hands are empty, the foolish hope for company- NOT EVEN LOVE!- gone. There's nothing left. Not for him, not for his people. He gives up at last.

As @darkestelemental616 said,

TGT is a tragedy following Aleksander's slow descent into madness.

All the worse when you realize how much he overcame before, and how little did Alina know or understand. It would hit differently if his doom proved to be some decades old nemesis, or someone, who'd destroy him for some higher goal, not just "The Darkling evil and I want to be left alone.".

“In this moment he was just a boy -  a boy, who wanted to make the world a place to live without fear.”

Even in his death, LB wanted us to see him as powerful (and power hungry), no matter how powerless he's actually been.

i signed up for tumblr because i needed an emergency source of serotonin after aventurine’s story emotionally devastated me. i’m an adult.

happy new year!! how are you?

Happy new year! (it's still January, it counts right?)

I'm doing good-ish, writing, slowly, trying to read Iron Flame and fangirling over Garrick, waiting for hopefully the last surgery on my leg this Thursday - getting the metal rod out, finally. I made the mistake to google if that rod is called something particular in English and Google dutifully explained the freaking rod is inserted INTO the bone marrow??? It's inside the bone??? Not alongside it??? *slightly panicking, cause I assumed it would be a pretty easy surgery with minimal recovery needed* I'm not scared at all, I love having half my body paralyzed while people cut at it... fun, fun fun fun... I have the next chapter all mapped out and a few good chunks of it already finished. But I'm moving characteristically slow :))

Be careful what you wish for bc I was BEGGING to hear back from placement sites this morning (the anticipation has been killing me) and I’ve received a rather adamant no from the site near my home. They’re asking me weird questions about my experience with reading certain test results so it sounds like they’re considering offering me a paid job as a tech?????? Dude I have to start my stinkin placements (all full time) and don’t have time for a job right now like Jesus I appreciate the consideration but I physically can’t do that right now.

Holy fuck if the other site doesn’t take me this might be the straw that breaks the camels back.

i love him real bad

Throwback to my eleventh grade self who wrote about two gay-ass grad students who loves hiking becoming conservation scientists and slowly falling in love and then agreed to live together in the woods.. I even inserted a Queen song ref at the end on an angsty car ride- the gayest thing I ever wrote. I wrote it for creative writing assignment in my strict Islamic school's english class.. ah I really thought it was soooo discreetly implied and sooo subtext nobody would ever think it's a gayass story. But thinking about it back, damn, my teacher probably goes live slug reaction on the first paragraph of reading that hahah.

playing this song on repeat with eyes dryer than every popeyes biscuit cumulatively.

Once again crying over the deleted Inej and Jesper scene.

The details. The acting. The way it adds so much depth to both of their characters.

Jesper giving Inej a forehead kiss, when we already know that his mum used to do that.

Jesper keeping it together until Inej leaves and then breaking down.

The way Inej grabs onto Jespers jacket and just holds him close to tell him he's her family too.

Jesper reassuring her that she doesn't have to feel bad about leaving, and that he will take care of Kaz.

Just. The whole scene. It is so amazing. I especially love how calm the scene is: there is no(or almost no, I think) music in the background, nothing else going on, no movement anywhere else, just calmness, sometimes a birdcall. Jesper and Inej (especially jesper) had a lot of loud scenes, being in ketterdam and all, with lots of dark settings and movement in the background. But in this scene, its bright, there is a calmness that we never got to experience with them before.

Also, I love the way they are portrayed as siblings with a relationship full of love, without them being shipped romantically. I wish we would see more of those kinds of loving relationships on Netflix shows.

Okay, rambling over. Sorry.

Reading on Tumblr cuz I’m stressed about my future

Lucien saying "my mate" is cool and all, but how about Lucien one day calling Elain "my love" … 🥹

Pretty bummed Rhaenys and Corlys didn’t get to race to the end of the world.

Rhaenys, at six-and-ten, was a fearless young beauty, and more than a match for her mariner. A dragonrider since the age of thirteen, she insisted upon arriving for the wedding on Meleys, the Red Queen, the magnificent scarlet she-dragon that had once borne her aunt Alyssa. “We can go back to the ends of the earth together,” she promised Ser Corlys. “But I’ll get there first, as I’ll be flying.”

Also love that Rhaenys just had to fly to her wedding, and Corlys probably loved her even more for it.

❤️‍🔥 Moreid Moments 🫂

IM NOT CRYING AT ALMOST 3 AM NO IM NOT.

maybe I am but shhhh

Did my bf fall asleep and/or is sleeping with someone else and subsequently locked me out ? perhaps

BUT I get stoned alone girl time which is my all time favorite thing