angel, 1.19 sanctuary / middle kids, mistake

I'm taking Adaine the cat back to the vet today. :( Wish us luck. I really hope we can find a solution quickly, my poor baby clearly feels so bad.

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📓🖊️🧸

Generally I think the 2023 Camelot cast recording does a very good job of conveying the onstage vibe of pretty much all the songs with the dialouge snippets. However in my heart of hearts I truly believe the Simple Joys of Maidenhood feels incomplete without the moment of Arthur realizing Guenevere has run away and right to him after she sings her intro. I'm sure I could choose many hills to die on for cast recording opinions but apparently the one I feel the most is a particularly good delivery of the word shit.

i'm not tired, i'm exhausted

cannot wait for the amount of self confidence it would require to wink at anyone i caught staring at me

up all night thinking ab him sneaking glances my way

What is p'aof pulls a bad buddy and morkday kiss within the 5th ep??? WHAT IF????

But also what if not? Because he has a tendency to not really focus on the kiss and only use it when it is of importance y'know? What do you think?

CONSIDERING THAT NEXT EPISODE WE'RE ALREADY GETTING THE CHANGING ROOM SCENE WHICH I THOUGHT WAS GONNA HAPPEN WAY FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT ANYMORE

im really not excluding anything at this point, but personally i've always thought that mork and day's first kiss would happen in songkhla, and even if the progress in their relationship is happening much faster than i originally expected, i still believe songkhla is when things between them are actually going to change. maybe it's because in my head i still have that scene from the mock trailer where mork asks day if he has now seen everything he wanted and day answers "one more picture" before going in for a kiss: i feel like p'aof may have readapted that moment, but that the essence of it is still gonna be in the show, so if i had to give a time frame i think their first kiss is gonna happen at the end of episode 9 (right before day completely loses his sight)

it's also because, like you said, p'aof isn't one to make his characters kiss without purpose: to him kisses are narrative tools that always need to happen for a reason. there's also a whole history of nature and 'out of town trips' being used to symbolize freedom and change and clarity that p'aof himself often uses in his shows and that would work as a perfect set up for mork and day's first kiss, so yeah, IM A MORKDAY FIRST KISS IN SONGKHLA TRUTHER

as long as it makes sense in morkday's journey and doesn't feel rushed, tho, i definitely wouldn't mind if it happened earlier!!!!! (i mean it might kill me for good because i wouldn't be psychologically emotionally spiritually mentally or physically ready for it, but i wouldn't mind sfjskgfjsg)

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today is, as percy jackson himself would say, the adhd kid super bowl

So I have a concussion lol

huh.

Song of the Day: March 17

"I Like It" by Cardi B, Bad Bunny, J Balvin

You know I’m starting to fixate on something where I actually care enough about it to ramble something something- so let’s give it up for NSR! *tiny applause of me doing whatever the hell i want to do on this blog*

An odd thing for me though is that I’m specifically doing a whole character ramble and practically ONLY a character ramble so no biology stuff here (only slight astronomy). Please welcome to the stage, my scrimblo bimblo: DJ Subatomic Supernova!

As I once again shove aside my not only in-progress work but the ‘actually read to post’ work too, I’m here to spew words about my favourite egotistical space orb and not only am I going to do that, but also compare them to someone else of a unique mind. Because of both of their particular quirks about identity, self-importance, and ultimately expression of art, I like to think DJSS may share some grounds with Eve, perhaps enough to decently get along with each other if not even form a friendship.

If you’re one of my typical followers interested enough in reading this to get to here - the second paragraph UNDER the readmore - I will give a summary of the DJ and the Diva. DJ Subatomic Supernova, a space themed NSRtist with an ego so dense it can cause a singularity (which may or may not be an actual literal thing that has or did happen) and underappreciated ex-professor of university grade astronomy, strives to preserve their name and music to extend not only beyond their own time but for the future beyond humanity’s own existence in order to stave away fading into obscurity and truly becoming everlasting. In this battle of existential dread and their entire ‘Avatar of Earth’ schtick, we have a character who’s ego comes with a twist of not being selfish even though it is significantly self-centered, their motivations though using the medium of themselves being to create a legacy for humanity that will spread to the furthest reaches of the galaxy and back.

Eve meanwhile - real name Nadia - views the world in ways that seems only she can, seeing herself as the only one to understand the way she thinks and feeling so incredibly lonely in that fact - a realm of existentialism in of itself - especially since the one person that had begun the attempt had ended up losing thanks to his hair being set on fire. Expressing herself not only through her psy-dub music, Eve is an artist of multiple mediums from sound to visual, of sculpture, fashion, and paintings, many themes of her work centering on her personal experiences and insecurities, of eyes staring at her peculiarities and of turning those eyes against the viewer.

And what do you get when you cross an egotistical existentialist with a suffering surrealist? Maybe you get a little common ground to stand on. Perhaps not enough to satiate Eve’s personal desire to find like-minded brothers and sisters, perhaps not enough to bring Nova back down to Earth to appreciate the present for what it is. But perhaps enough that at least among coworkers, there’s even remotely enough broken ice to hold a conversation, perhaps enough that if in friendship, Eve may look towards the stars and Nova may look at the self of another.

Of course, this is not simply a character analysis based solely on canonical information, as it is now that I will elaborate (at least from the perspective of DJSS) with some headcanons of my own.

I’ve always been particularly an NSR lurker, not really doing much of actual engagement with the fandom but certainly sitting by the wayside and looking in. A thing that I have seen for folk’s take on a younger Nova is that they weren’t always a supernova one Bunkbed Junction away from going singularity- instead, they were a star. It’s always been one of the larger blue stars, but here I’d like to just go out and make it an O-Class main sequence star and be essentially a miniaturised equivalent; and when I say equivalent, I mean EQUIVALENT!

If you were an object head of maybe a G-Class main sequence star (the star itself significantly smaller than what it would actually be), you’d have on your head a miniature sun that would be a little portable and ultimately dimmer version of our very own Sol (or specifically if you had a G2-Class star which is more accurately our own sun). But if you had the misfortune of having an O-Class (O2-Class in this case for reference) star, with 800000 times the luminosity of the sun you’ve got a very VERY significant issue about just existing if you don’t wear something for the protection of literally anyone and anyTHING with eyes or cameras.

The ‘not yet named Nova’ Nova had to grow up early on wearing a super shaded helmet for the entire time they were star - already a thing one might be self-conscious about - up to and including the very moment they went supernova, another thing I must touch on. Depending on the size and general energy output of a particular celestial object - such as; a star - the point in time in which it collapses in on itself and, in the sake of stars, supernovas changes. And this particular case, let’s change a rather heard of saying for the sake of elaboration; the bigger you are, the faster you fall-

Not only was most of Nova’s early life spent hiding their star for the sake of other’s, anyone from astronomers themselves to any old star object head would say it was simply an inevitability that their star would collapse in on itself and become someone completely different, not a matter of if but when... and most certainly ‘young’ while it’s at it. Insecurities from being beheld a wonder to being seen as weird to even having adults already mourning their existence as a star, Nova may in fact turn to the stars above and retreat from the stars below in order to even begin to attempt to cope with their inevitable demise, embracing the existentialism and relying on their inherent knowledge of the astral sea to pursue a career in education. To teach people not to fear the end, the whatever theorised death of the universe, the collapsing of stars. To say that they shouldn’t be feared and shouldn’t be mourned just because they will change - and they will - and that the supernova that has been the subject of so much misplaced misery is in fact a dispersal of resources that can build to something much greater than the some of its parts.

And they are left unheard in the vast emptiness of space, of the classroom, of the home.

The inevitable happens, sparked early (far too early even for an O-Class) by a numeral amount of factors that would cause their world to spin, the light to bend, and an insurmountable level of stress and pain and misery and insecurity influenced supernova.

Too many lights and sounds and senses, DJ Subatomic Supernova particularly hates the design of Akusuka and Metro Division. Cast Tech, the district they hold Charter to, is low lit for a reason. Natura does not induce the swirling of senses, but DJSS has no particular interest in the gardens, for all the worth they put into Earth as a whole. And Dream Fever, something about the eyes that stare and the oddities that twist and turn.

Perhaps it is not their first choice to take in the work of Eve - of Nadia; the artist behind it all - it is not a reflection of their own story, nor does it reflect where they stand now. But there is meaning, meaning they can take in, take pieces of and relate them back to the past. The past that no longer exists, not if they have anything to say about it, not that they had any say in the first place. The artist Nadia, the diva Eve, the balance of the insecure and the expression. Reveling in the dual tones a much younger Nadia tried to hide (concealer rubbing off to reveal a hot pinkish red), the criticism of the viewer, to make the audience feel what had been felt constantly not entirely that long ago. A desperate plea to find someone that will listen, someone that will understand, someone that will hold their memory and share their story ad nauseam.

Perhaps there is something to share solace in, knowing that back on Earth there was another like Nova themselves seeking to engage to the world beyond them.

Though for different reasons, perhaps the two find even a slight solidarity with each other, whether friends or simple coworkers.

sorry for your tummy hurty hours 😔 also betrayal, desire, midnight, and wound for riya and maeve!

i have in fact suffered tummy hurty hours for a second time since this ask so i'm cashing in 2x, thank you xoxo // oc asks: not-so-nice edition

betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

RIYA — a no on both accounts. maybe you could find some social drama from cumberland socialite days but that shit is so far beyond anything Serious compared to the goings on of the campaign that it hardly counts. actually, i lied. her brother sebastian constantly betrayed her trust by snitching anytime she did something he thought their mother would disapprove of, so he can choke. 

MAEVE — by someone she trusts, no. she learned her own lessons and had plenty of witchers to let her know how dangerous it can be to hand trust away easily, so that takes a while to build up. has probably been betrayed in general though, there are plenty of selfish people who would look at her generosity and willingness to work against “authority” and take advantage of it. 

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

RIYA — if we go with answering what she wants presently, i think with all the goofing and flirting and whining, it really boils down to her craving comfort. and that's probably easy to tell with or without an insight check because she's not trying to hide it, and it's clear to everybody who spends 10 minutes around her that she's having a dreadful time adjusting to life without her usual rich girl privileges. she wants to go back to lounging around and being fed little chocolates or w/e, this sucks. 

MAEVE — it's so cheesy that the first two things that popped to mind for her were to be loved and to make a difference. both are true, it just depends on the day which desire is at the top of her list. she's always happy to discuss the hopes that her works will potentially change people's prejudices, and that's something she puts effort into every day. the wanting to be loved is like. 30% of the time it can be obvious because she'll start alluding to it or even openly talking about it, then the other 70% it depends on if the person she's talking to is capable of reading her beyond the smiles and chatter. 

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

RIYA — THE NEVERENDING NIGHTMARES, MY GUY. she’s lucky that the party’s grey warden duties usually wear them out enough through the day that the anxieties and nagging guilt can’t keep her from passing out, but the nightmares have been waking her early in the last few months. riya’s got her morning rituals: brushing out her hair and styling it according to vibes, going over her spellbook, debating with herself if it’s worth using some of her precious perfumes or oils, thinking about her family and nearly crumbling because of how terribly she misses them, reciting important quest information in her head to keep from forgetting it. you know, the usual.

MAEVE — her partners ey-ohhhhhhh. anyway all of the above, though it grows more infrequent as the years go by and she becomes accustomed to feeling safe. anxiety is probably the worst?? because it can sneak up on her without warning, especially if she knows somebody she cares about is off doing something dangerous. her go-tos on a sleepless morning are journaling or taking a bath, sometimes both if she's feeling frisky. 

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

RIYA — answered here.

MAEVE — she can take more hits than your average noble before going down but she’s still only a bard at the end of the day and absolutely in tears after just the first. she’s shaking, shouting her panic and trying to find cover but hey she’s not entirely useless, she might be able to shoot her bow from back there. can definitely provide colorful and fun commentary at the least. please give her medical attention and please make it intimate to encourage affection and vulnerability, thank you. most of her wounds are mental and leftover from the carden era tbh. worst wound has to default to the one that straight-up killed her for a hot minute, i imagine. fuck if i remember what it was but it sure does take the cake for being fatal.